


Lost In Paradise

by NightingalesMuse



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Drama, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Science Fiction, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-17
Updated: 2014-11-10
Packaged: 2017-12-26 19:57:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 41
Words: 226,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/969692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightingalesMuse/pseuds/NightingalesMuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Catherine, a half-Betazoid nurse, finds herself questioning everything as Admiral Marcus and her patient John Harrison each seek to use her for their personal agendas. Finding her inner strength and a newfound love for John, she soon discovers his true identity and vows to help him to protect those he holds most dear no matter the cost. (Will be doing a rewrite!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Life Among the Distant Stars

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Notes/Introduction: I have never published a work of fanfiction before, so please bear with me. I proof my work multiple times, but if I miss anything really terrible, please feel free to let me know. I have a strong background in music, so I like to include track suggestions for your listening pleasure. They are not required, and you will not be missing anything pertinent to the story if you do not listen to them. I also enjoy hiding tidbits from other works of literature, films, etc., so kudos to those of you who can point them out. I do work full-time, and unfortunately, like Sherlock, I do feel married to my work. I will do my best, however, not to leave you hanging too long! I'll be honest in that I feel the first couple chapters are a bit dull, but necessary. Oh well! And yes, I am my worst critic! I plan on rewriting the early chapters once I complete the entire story.
> 
> With the altered timeline, I felt that many things were up for grabs including names. This is why my main character is half-Betazoid and has the last name of Troi. I also wanted her to be a little like Deanna Troi and be a small tribute to the character.
> 
> So, without further ado...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Track suggestions: "Amy's Starless Life" and "Life Among the Distant Stars" by Murray Gold

1\. Life Among the Distant Stars

May 2258

"Thanks for helping me study for that pharmacology final!" a male Starfleet Academy student called out to a young woman in a blue Starfleet uniform.

"No problem! How do you think it went?" she asked after running over to meet the student.

"I'm feeling pretty good about it. Your tips really helped me to remember the different drug classifications."

"That's great!"

"And," the cadet leaned in to whisper, "those Betazoid relaxation techniques you taught me really came in handy the other night, too. I finally summoned up the courage to talk to Rin, and she agreed to go out for some coffee with me tomorrow. Thank you so much, Catherine."

"No problem! Good luck with medical school next year and especially with your date," she smiled. "I need to get going and check in at the research lab to make sure things are wrapped up. See you in the fall!"

Catherine Mae Troi was a 28-year-old lieutenant in Starfleet. Her mother, Kestra, was from Betazed, and her father, Dylan, was from Earth. Although her psionic abilities were somewhat limited due to her mixed heritage, Catherine was very empathic and immediately following the destruction of the fleet and the planet Vulcan by the Romulan from the distant future named Nero and his ship the _Narada_ , the overwhelming feelings of pain and grief she sensed from those around her altered her destiny forever.

While at Starfleet Academy, she had completed her studies in history and planned on becoming a ship's historian as soon as a position was available. As she waited, she did odd job positions and attained the rank of lieutenant. With the aforementioned time and life altering events, however, Catherine decided to go back to the academy to become a nurse.

"I cannot change what happens to those around me, but I can at least help to alleviate their suffering," she explained to her parents who were proud of her and supported her no matter what she decided to do with her career at Starfleet. "Besides, there's a shortage of nurses, and it should not be difficult for me to find a position in an area that I find interesting."

"Just remember, little one, that when you joined Starfleet, you had to vow not to use your Betazoid abilities on fellow crew members," Kestra reminded her.

"I know, mother, but it is such a ridiculous rule. It's about as silly as the vow of celibacy they make the Deltans take. It's not fair and borderline racist. Oh well, maybe someday they will reverse it. Besides, you're the only one I can fully communicate with telepathically anyway."

During her time at Starfleet Medical, Catherine quickly found herself interested in the areas of research and rehabilitation. Despite all the advancements in science, there were still some things that modern medicine could not mend or cure. Through these areas of interest, Catherine wanted to help people maximize their ability to function despite their disabilities.

For the duration of the spring semester, she had assisted in a lab study, but as this project was wrapping up, she would need to find a new assignment soon. Tucking her chocolate-brown curls behind one of her ears, she looked on her PADD at openings while visiting with her friend Janice Rand at one of their favorite coffee shops in Lawrenceville, a neighborhood in Pittsburgh.

"So, what kind of assignments are you going to apply for?" the blonde asked her as she watched her flick through pages of listings on the PADD.

"I'm not sure," she sighed. "I still want to stick with something in research or rehab, but I think I'm starting to experience a quarter life crisis. I need some excitement, and I feel like I just don't belong in San Francisco anymore. I need to branch out."

"I know what you mean. I myself am not sure if botany is my thing anymore. Did you hear that they're going to commission the _Enterprise_ for a five-year mission? I was thinking of applying for a position as a yeoman."

"That would work great for you, Jan. You would still have your rank, and you could use that time as a yeoman to explore different areas of interest. I think you should do it!"

"Really?"

"If you think it would be good for you, I say go for it. It would definitely be an adventure!"

"Yeah, it would," she thought briefly. "Okay, I'll apply for it!"

"I hope you get it! I'll miss you, but that is so exciting! Besides, isn't that where Christine Chapel is working?"

"Oh yeah, she was working there for a while, but her sister said that she had her heart-broken pretty badly by the captain."

"Well, you just make sure to keep away from him. Captain James T. Kirk does have quite a reputation around the fleet," she rolled her eyes.

Janice's PADD blipped with an incoming text message. She picked it up, opened the message, and started to read a newsletter from the career development office at the academy. "Hmm, do you get these?" she asked as she showed Catherine the message.

"Actually, no, I never bothered to sign myself up for those."

"This one position sounds really interesting. Look," Janice handed Catherine her PADD.

_"Immediate opening: nurse with experience in research and rehabilitation. Must have at least one year's experience, be able to work independently under physician supervision, and demonstrate ability to provide accurate, thorough documentation. A complete job description will be provided upon completion of interview and passing Section 31 security clearances. Applications and resumes can be sent to Starfleet Intelligence at fleet headquarters in San Francisco."_

"Wow, I wonder what that's all about. That sounds like they're looking just for me. What is Section 31?"

"Not sure, I've never heard of it. Maybe it's like Torchwood or something," Janice laughed.

"The most famous secret organization in the world! Oh, that was a great show."

"Well?"

"What?"

"Are you going to apply?"

"I guess it couldn't hurt. They won't give out more info until I pass the clearances and complete the interview, so I guess I may as well try to find out more."

"If you get the job, maybe you'll get to work with Captain Jack Harkness."

"Maybe they're looking for the Doctor!" Catherine laughed as she forwarded her application and resume to Starfleet Intelligence.

"Oh, what I would give for a mad man in a blue box to show up and take me away," Janice sighed.

"I know! Live your life among the distant stars with all of time and space at your doorstep. See history for yourself as it really happened and not how the winners say it did." Catherine fiddled with her coffee cup, "Oh well, I guess I don't need a mad man in blue box. I just need one man, the right man. Sometimes, though, at this rate, I'd even take attention given by Captain Kirk!"

Catherine never had any luck in the romance department. She was not ashamed of the fact that she had never been kissed and was still a virgin, but she was certainly sexually frustrated due to these facts. Although she joked about getting attention from Captain Kirk, in reality, she knew she would not settle for any flings. She only needed the right man, but more and more she felt like she would never find him. She felt as if human men were intimidated by her Betazoid heritage and that Betazoid men felt like she was too human since she was raised on Earth.

"You'll find him someday," Janice reassured her. "A tall, dark man will sweep you off your feet when you least expect it."

"I certainly hope so!" she sighed. "Well, I'll let you know if I hear anything about this assignment. Make sure to let me know if you hear anything about the yeoman position."

"Definitely!"


	2. For Duty and Humanity?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listening track selection: "Torchwood Theme" by Ben Foster and Murray Gold

2\. For Duty and Humanity?

Catherine joined her family for a vacation to Betazed a couple of days after putting in her application for the Section 31 position. She had not bothered to tell anyone else other than Janice about it. She was certainly interested, but she was not about to get her heart set on getting the position as she was not even completely sure what the job entailed.

She always felt she was well-rounded when it came to her personal interests. Besides history and medicine, she also found the idea of working in an intelligence or criminal justice capacity very intriguing. She grew up watching very old reruns of shows like _CSI: Crime Scene Investigation_ , BBC's _Sherlock_ , _Doctor Who_ , and _Torchwood_. Although she knew she would not be an agent running around in the field in tight black clothes but that she would actually just be in a lab, she still would be part of something secretive and exciting.

" _I could be like Molly Hooper or Toshiko Sato_ ," she smiled inwardly as she thought about a couple of her favorite "behind the scenes" characters that usually were in lab coats rather than running about getting into trouble. " _Come to think of it, they're about as lucky in love as I am! Oh, I'm being so silly_ ," she scolded herself.

Three days into her vacation, Catherine had been out the whole afternoon with a few of her cousins to one of Betazed's most popular beaches. After making sure that she was not dragging any leftover sand in with her inside the doorway of her parents' house, Catherine walked inside to be greeted by her parents and a gentleman in a Starfleet uniform.

"Where have you been Catherine?" her mother jumped off the couch. "I've been trying to get a hold of you all afternoon!"

"I'm so sorry! I thought I told you that I was going to the beach. I left my PADD here so it wouldn't get wet. Did I forget about something?"

"Lieutenant Troi?" the man in uniform asked approaching her.

"Yes?"

"This gentleman's been waiting all afternoon to speak with you," Kestra interrupted to scold her further.

"I'm sorry? Did we have an appointment?" Catherine asked confused.

"No. My name is Commander Williams. I'm with Starfleet Intelli-"

"What in heaven's name did you do?" her father took his turn in interrupting the commander. "Did you practice telepathy on a colleague? You know you are not permitted to do that!"

"Daddy, you know I do not have that ability except between mum and myself, and no, I have not done anything!" she tried to explain.

"Mr. and Mrs. Troi, Lieutenant Troi, no one is in trouble, and no crime has been committed," the commander explained somewhat exasperated after waiting so long and being interrupted multiple times. "Miss, I am here to speak with you about your application."

"The Section 31 position?"

"Yes, none of our other applicants have panned out thus far, but after speaking with your professional references, we wanted to contact you as soon as possible to begin your interviews and screenings. I conveniently was in the area and able to speak to you in person. Also, your academic background and heritage gives you quite an advantage over our other applicants. From what we can tell, you could be a good fit for our project."

"Oh, I see."

"You are to report to headquarters at 1600 tomorrow to begin the process. I am sorry for any inconveniences, but we are getting close to our deadline. I will meet you at the embassy tonight at 2000 to escort you personally."

"This is all so sudden. Well then, I suppose I need to pack my things," she shrugged her shoulders.

"See you at 2000. I will see myself out, thank you," the commander excused himself.

"Little one, what is this all about?" Kestra lightly put her hand on Catherine's back.

"Well, I needed to find a new position since we wrapped up that research study at the end of the spring semester. Janice found this position in a career development newsletter, and we thought it sounded interesting. I really have no clue what the job entails, but I applied anyway to see if I could find out more. They are supposed to tell me more after an interview and passing security clearances."

"What is Section 31?" Dylan asked. "Is that with Starfleet?"

"I guess it is as I had to submit my information to Starfleet Intelligence."

"I don't think I want my little girl to be involved in that secret agent stuff," he furrowed his eyebrows in concern.

"Daddy, it's a nursing position for some kind of research. How could it possibly be dangerous? Besides, the doctors will most likely have to worry about the worst of it, whatever 'it' is. I can sense dangerous intent on the part of others, you know."

"I know you can, but you're still my little girl. I just don't want you to be in any danger."

"I promise that if at any time I have my doubts about safety, I will quit," Catherine promised.

"Kestra?" he looked to his mate.

"She's not lying, darling. I sense no deception," Kestra read her daughter's feelings. " _He's such a worry wart, little one!_ "

" _Mother, don't pick on Daddy_ ," Catherine scolded her mother telepathically.

Later that day, Catherine sat on the transport shuttle to the embassy quickly typing out a message on her PADD to Janice. "Well, looks like I'm heading back to Earth sooner than I thought. I have an interview tomorrow for that Section 31 assignment that we saw a few days ago."

_"No way! Already? Wow, they're fast!"_

_"I know! A commander came personally to fetch me. He said that no one else has worked out yet for them, and it sounds like they're in a hurry. Guess I'll find out what this is all about soon!"_

_"When is the interview?"_

_"1600."_

_"I'll be sure to be thinking about you. Good luck! Let me know how it goes! ~ Jan"_

Catherine met Commander Williams at the Federation embassy as ordered. On the shuttle ride back to Earth, she went over and over questions they might ask her at the interview and mentally practiced her answers before falling asleep. Upon arriving in San Francisco, a female staff member showed Catherine to a suite where she could shower and get ready after travelling all night. After a late lunch, she reported a little early to Starfleet Intelligence for the interview.

After being thoroughly scanned by security for weapons, Catherine was led to a conference room where she was introduced to the various staff members who would be conducting a panel-style interview.

"Lieutenant Troi, I am Admiral Alexander Marcus and this is Dr. Luke Smith," a middle-aged uniformed officer introduced himself and the 35-or-so-year-old gentleman standing beside him. "If you take on this assignment, you will report directly to me and work under the doctor's supervision. If you are ready, we'll go ahead and begin?"

"Yes, sir, I am ready," she replied nervously.

After a few basic questions regarding her training, previous experience, and how she would handle certain situations, Admiral Marcus began to provide more information on the position. "Lieutenant, you already passed our security clearances with flying colors as your personal and professional records are spotless. You also recently completed your annual medical exam and health screening. There are some additional Section 31 physical requirements that you will need some additional training in order to meet our standards, but we can easily work that into your schedule if you take the assignment," he explained. "Now, I'm sure you're wondering what exactly is Section 31, am I right?"

"Yes, sir, I have never heard of it."

"Section 31 is an officially nonexistent covert organization within Starfleet Intelligence. It is our duty to protect the security interests of Earth and the United Federation of Planets. We're outside the government, beyond the military. If needed, we will fight for the future of the human race and our allies. The 23rd century is when everything changes, and Section 31 has to be ready. We have already seen what outside threats can do. Now, with this in mind, let me tell you why we want you. Besides your professional achievements, you are half Betazoid. We understand that you do not have the psionic abilities that a full-blooded Betazoid would have, but nonetheless, we consider your Betazoid heritage to be a valuable asset."

"Sir, I am not permitted to use my abilities on my fellow crew members. I had to take that vow when I joined Starfleet," she shyly reminded Admiral Marcus.

"Yes, but don't forget, Section 31 is not officially part of Starfleet, so you can do whatever you want with your abilities. Besides, we need someone who can sense any ill intentions for this assignment."

"I'm sorry, sir, but I think I need a little clarification as it sounds as if you are offering me this position. Am I interpreting your words correctly?"

"Yes, the position is yours if you want it."

"But I do not even know what exactly I will be doing."

"Unfortunately due to security reasons, we cannot tell you unless you take on the position."

"How soon do you need my answer?"

"Sorry to put the pressure on you like this, but we need to know at 0900 tomorrow. Let me emphasize this to you, Lieutenant Troi. We really need you. Starfleet and the Federation need you. No one else thus far has fit this position as well as you, and our other outstanding applicants do not appear to be as promising either. Please, just remember what caused you to join Starfleet. Also remember, that by working with Section 31, you will be doing your part to make sure that what happened to Vulcan will not happen to any other planet in the Federation again. It won't happen to Earth. It won't happen to Betazed." Admiral Marcus paused for a few seconds knowing that Catherine could sense his concern and to let the gravity of his words sink in even deeper into her mind. "Do you have any questions?"

"No, sir, not at this time," she replied flatly.

"Very well, we will meet you back here tomorrow at 0900 to hear your decision."

"Aye, sir," she stood at attention as the room emptied. "Ohhh! For duty and humanity?" she groaned quietly to herself rubbing her eyes after everyone was gone.

Catherine went home to her quarters after picking at her dinner that she bought at a local café, her anxiety causing her to feel somewhat nauseated. Sitting at her desk, she initiated a comm link with her parents. "Mummy, Daddy, what should I do? What if I hate it and can't quit?" she asked after updating them about the interview. "This is pretty serious stuff!"

In short, although she dearly loved her parents, she did not feel that they were very helpful as they essentially gave her their cliché response of, "We'll love you and be proud of you no matter what."

Since she felt no closer to making a decision, she contacted Janice for support and to tell her how the interview went. "I'm so sorry, Jan, I know it's getting late in Pittsburgh, but I need your help!"

"I think you should take a leap, Catherine. Just think of it. Although you're a nurse, you will be doing such an important job. This is an amazing opportunity! What do you think? This is ultimately up to you, and no one else can tell you what to do with your life."

"Well, it's pretty intimidating, but…" she paused and thought briefly before continuing, "It is a pretty cool sounding job."

"I think you sound like you want to do it," Janice prodded.

"I think you're right?" Catherine hesitated.

"Well?"

"I guess I'll go for it."

"Great! Keep in touch and let me know how things work out."

"Oh, and did you hear anything about the yeoman position yet?"

"No, but I'll keep you posted!"

"Night, Jan!"


	3. Your Mission, Should You Choose to Accept It...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listening track selection: "The Mission" by Ben Foster and Murray Gold

3\. Your Mission, Should You Choose to Accept It…

Catherine resolved to take a risk and accept the position for the Section 31 assignment. Getting out of the taxi shuttle at Starfleet Intelligence, she straightened her dress. "Well, here we go," she said to herself. "Lock and load."

After undergoing the same security process as the day before and being escorted once again to the conference room, Catherine took a seat and waited for the staff to meet with her. She did her best to quick shaking her leg nervously.

"Good morning, Lieutenant Troi," Admiral Marcus greeted her as he and Dr. Smith entered the room. "I trust you slept well last night?"

"I did the best I could to sleep given the life changing decision I had to make in less than twenty-four hours," she blurted out nervously. "Oh!" she slapped her palm over her mouth in embarrassment. "I'm so sorry! Betazoids can be overly honest to the point of bluntness at times. Unfortunately for me, it seems that I tend to have a hard time reigning that side of me in when I'm under stress."

Marcus chuckled. "No need to apologize. We did put you in a difficult position, after all. I trust you have come to your decision?" he asked as he sat down beside the doctor.

"Yes, sir, I have managed to make my choice, and I have decided to officially accept the position for the Section 31 assignment for which I applied."

"Excellent!" Marcus slapped the desk surface with enthusiasm. "We are very happy that you have decided to join us!"

"Thank you, I am anxious to see what I can do to help. So, what exactly is my assignment, sir?"

"Well, we'll go ahead and have you do some basic debriefing and orientation, get you some lunch, and then at 1300, we'll go ahead and introduce you to your assignment."

"Sir, you speak of my assignment as if it is a person," Catherine raised her eyebrow.

"I know you're excited, miss, but you'll learn about your assignment soon enough." Marcus pushed a button on the desk's console, "Lieutenant Commander Zhang."

"Yes, Admiral Marcus?" a woman's voice replied from the comm system.

"Please come and escort Lieutenant Troi to her debriefing."

"Aye, sir."

"See you at 1300," Marcus told Catherine before quickly getting up and starting to converse with Dr. Smith as they walked out of the room.

"We'll go ahead and introduce you to your assignment?" Catherine thought to herself puzzled by Marcus' words. "From what I can sense, he definitely was referring to the assignment as a person. What in the world?"

Lieutenant Commander Zhang, a young human woman of Chinese ancestry, greeted Catherine and escorted her to a debriefing room where she joined several other new recruits and current staff. The staff explained basic Section 31 protocols. Catherine expected that she would not be permitted to speak to friends and family about her work, and as a medical professional, this was nothing new. She was a little surprised, however, to learn that Section 31 might hack her comm devices and even place tracking devices on any personal vehicles or electronics. She was somewhat relieved, however, to learn that usually only agents involved in the more dangerous assignments had tracking devices placed under their skin, and even then, it was rare.

The group was then taken to receive their new comm badges, ID's, equipment, and uniforms before reporting to one of Section 31's medical units to receive additional vaccines, be fingerprinted, and to provide blood and tissue samples for their medical and DNA database. Catherine had regularly worked with medical tricorders before, but she was excited to be given her very own as well as a personal medical kit. At lunch, she ate quickly so that she could try out her new gear.

 _"This is great!"_ she smiled as the tricorder's screen lit up. _"This has to be the most up-to-date equipment Starfleet has available right now. Nurses certainly have come such a long way since the profession started."_

It was finally almost 1300, and Lieutenant Commander Zhang met back up with Catherine to take her to her official debriefing with Marcus and Dr. Smith. "Well, Lieutenant Troi, the time you've been waiting for is finally at hand," Marcus smiled as he shook her hand.

"I think you will find your assignment quite intriguing," Dr. Smith added also shaking her hand. "Please, have a seat."

"Many of our agents are often in danger of personal harm," Marcus started. "Sometimes the threats are outright physical in nature: explosions, blunt force trauma, stab wounds, phaser and disruptor burns, and more. Other times, those threats are not so obvious such as biological and chemical weapons. Some of our agents are also subjected to psychological torture. Unfortunately, despite the numerous advancements we are blessed to have in modern medicine, as you can imagine, sometimes our agents are left disabled. We are currently, of course, working on numerous methods to try to correct these disabilities, but we are also trying to find ways of preserving our agents lives and vigor in a stasis state to provide time for the body to heal between very difficult and invasive treatments, and, in the worst and regrettable cases, to preserve them, if needed, for many years until they can be cured. Dr. Smith, I will let you take it from here."

"Lieutenant Troi, I believe you are familiar with the term 'cryogenics'?" Dr. Smith inquired.

"Yes, sir, it is a subject I have encountered numerous times throughout both my historical and medical studies. I even wrote a term paper on cryogenics once."

"Your excellent term paper on the subject was one of the many reasons why we selected you," he smiled and somewhat wriggled in his seat with excitement. "As you know, even in the 20th and 21st centuries, physicians used cooling methods during surgery and experimented with cryogenics to preserve their patients. Cryogenics was also often used for deep space travel before Zefram Cochrane invented the warp drive. This is the method that we are working with to perform the tasks that Admiral Marcus already mentioned."

"About a year ago," Marcus picked up, "we discovered a 20th century cargo ship, the SS _Botany Bay_ , adrift in Federation Space. On board, we happened to discover several functional, but unoccupied, cryogenic tubes. We brought them back to Earth to our London base located beneath the Kelvin Memorial Archives, studied them, and then modified and updated them. After completing animal test studies, we decided to move forward with humanoid test studies. And so, here we are. Time for you to meet your assignment." Marcus brought up an agent profile on the screen. "Meet Commander John Harrison. "

" _A handsome fellow,_ " Catherine thought looking at Harrison's photograph.

"If you happen to look it up, you will find that his Starfleet dossier is contradictory to his true background as are many of our agent profiles. We have to give them cover stories, so to speak. Anyways, Harrison is 30-years-old and originally from Dover, Great Britain. He was one of nine survivors of the attack on the colony on Tarsus IV in 2246. He lost both of his parents in the attack, has no other living relatives. As you can imagine, this greatly played into his decision to join Section 31, and he joined us immediately out of Starfleet Academy. Harrison quickly excelled and took on top missions and projects. He is currently one of our top agents and weapons experts. On his last mission, he was hit with a massive plasma burst and developed a severe case of post-neural shock syndrome."

"As we know, and are grateful, post-neural shock syndrome is only temporary and full recovery is expected albeit it may take a few weeks or even a few months," Dr. Smith chimed in adding to the case's background information.

"Harrison, however, is a stubborn bastard, and we knew he would not listen to our orders to rest especially since he was displaying some signs of aggression. So, we approached him with the possibility of being our test subject."

"We expected that he would only need a short time in the cryotube, and given that he would be in a constant state of rest, it was our hope that it would shorten his recovery. Thankfully, this appealed to him, and he agreed to it. He has been sleeping like a baby for about two months now, and it is time to wake him up."

"This is where you come in, Lieutenant Troi. Tomorrow you will relocate and travel with Dr. Smith to London. You will assist him with reanimating Harrison. After successful reanimation, it will be your duty to provide inpatient care for Harrison initially until he can be discharged, and at that point, you will continue to follow him on a daily basis to collect data and monitor his recovery. This is only the first phase of your assignment, of course, but it will be integral in continuing the cryogenics project in the long run. Do you have any questions?"

"Yes, sir," Catherine replied. "You mentioned additional physical training yesterday. How and when will this be integrated into my schedule?"

"Conveniently enough, Harrison is also an expert in hand-to-hand combat tactics, so we will have him work with you on your physical training. You can simultaneously collect data on his physical condition status post cryogenic stasis as he works on getting himself back into top form."

"Combat training? Sir, I never expected to be in combat!"

"Now, don't get yourself worked up! You will never be expected to be in combat, but it doesn't hurt to know some basic defensive and evasive tactics in the case of an emergency. The likelihood of you ever being in such a situation is negligible, but we want all of our staff to be prepared."

"So, in regards to training, being that he's one of your best, he's basically going to kill me," she lightly laughed.

"I'll be sure to tell him to take it easy on you," Marcus chuckled. "Anything else?"

"Well, since I am going to be spending a lot of time with Commander Harrison, do you have any additional information on him that may be helpful?"

"Unfortunately, we have limited personal information on him. He's a bit of a loner. However, you are certainly welcome to review his medical chart and recent project reports. I suppose the reports will give you two something to talk about. Think of this like getting to know a blind date," Marcus laughed. "From personal experience, however, I can tell you that he can be very stubborn. He is a workaholic and can be pretty intense. I would even venture to say that he is a bit of a loose cannon at times. He really needs to lighten up. Maybe you can use your Betazoid insight to figure him out, help him relax a little."

"Are you suggesting he needs some counseling, as well?"

"What agent doesn't? In my opinion, he is a pretty damaged person, but he's a damn good agent that we need to be at 100%. Some of his projects are absolutely critical to our purpose."

"Sir, I do not want to come across the wrong way, but should I be afraid of him?" Catherine started to feel a bit uncomfortable hearing more and more of Harrison's flaws and seemingly volatile nature.

"No, not at all! He can be intimidating, but I know that he would never physically hurt a woman. He's a bit eccentric, but he is still a typical British gentleman. Besides, your abilities will enable to you sense his true feelings and intentions and alert you to any danger if it ever did become an issue."

"Oh, okay, sir. Well, I suppose I should start getting things ready for tomorrow. Is there anything else I need to know?"

"No, this is all you need to know."

 _"Why do I feel like I'm being lied to about all of this? Why do I feel like there's more going on here that he's not telling me?"_ Catherine thought to herself as she sensed some degree of deceit in Marcus' last statement.

"Well, nurse, I'll see you tomorrow morning bright and early at 0600 for our shuttle ride to London," Dr. Smith smiled as he gathered his belongings and left.

"All of the information you need including Harrison's files will be transmitted to your PADD before you leave today," Marcus explained. "Welcome again to Section 31. I think you have a bright future here with us," he shook her hand again before leading her out to the hall where Lieutenant Commander Zhang was waiting for her.


	4. The Sad Man In a Box

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I was inspired to title this chapter after Doctor Who and the soundtrack track titled "The Sad Man With a Box."
> 
> Listening track selections: "Into the Hub" by Ben Foster and Murray Gold, "In Loneliness" by Taro Iwashiro

4\. The Sad Man In a Box

Upon returning to her quarters, Catherine contacted her parents to update them and let them know that she may not be able to contact them as often as they were accustomed. She then contacted Janice to give her the same update but did let her know without getting too detailed that at this point her assignment was going to be her working specifically with a person.

"Maybe we should come up with some sort of innocent code system. Just in case you really need to talk to someone about what you're doing?" Janice suggested.

"Hmm, not a bad idea. Torchwood?"

"Torchwood!"

"I think Harkness can definitely be a good code name for my colleague."

"Know anything about this person?"

"Not much, although from what I know so far, he doesn't sound like Captain Jack at all. From what I've heard, he sounds a bit more like a workaholic Sherlock in macho mode."

"Uh oh, could be trouble," Janice scrunched her nose.

"Yeah, it could be," she admitted. "Well, I'm going to pack real quick and then look at some of the files they uploaded to my PADD. And I promise that I'll do my best to keep in touch!"

Catherine quickly packed what she would need for her first two or three weeks in London as Section 31 would handle getting the rest of her belongings moved to her new quarters. Catherine then crawled into bed with her PADD to study some of the files. First she opened Harrison's medical files. His baseline health status was perfect in every way possible. She gasped, however, as she perused some photos of past injuries that he had obtained and been treated for during his time as an agent. Stab wounds and deep gashes, electrical and chemical burns, compound fractures, even bite marks, _"How could anyone handle all of this?"_ she thought as she continued looking at the photos. _"I would want to be cryogenically frozen just to get a vacation!"_

What she found to be a bit odd was that all of the documented injuries were only about eight months ago. The time frame was also very tight with all of the injuries appearing to take place within about a couple of months of time, but none of the injuries took place at exactly the same time even though some of them were in the same areas of his body. " _How could he possibly heal from any of these injuries so quickly? Maybe he is a Captain Jack?_ " she joked inwardly to herself thinking of the immortal fictional character that could heal instantly. " _But this is just not possible. What is really going on here? Maybe they're just dated incorrectly_ ," she tried to reason with herself, but this still did not quell her suspicions that something very bizarre had been taking place.

Aside from the injuries, Catherine could not help but note Harrison's physical features. Pale skin covering toned muscles, dark hair, razor-sharp cheekbones, Cupid's bow lips, and the most striking, intense eyes. " _What beautiful eyes. Heterochromia? I suppose he is not completely perfect after all. Those eyes…_ " she put a finger to her lips. " _Snap out of it! You have a job to do_ ," she shook her head catching herself lingering a little too long on some of the photos of him with no injuries. " _I better get to sleep. Early start tomorrow_."

On the shuttle ride to London with Dr. Smith, Catherine studied up on the schematics of the cryogenic tubes and the reports from the previously completed studies. She knew she would not be in charge of the actual equipment, but she felt it would be a good idea to at least have a better understanding of how they functioned with the modifications made by Section 31.

"Eager to get started?" Dr. Smith asked as he sat down by Catherine with a couple of bottles of water. "Thirsty?"

"Oh, yes, quite. Thanks," she took a bottle that he offered to her. "I figured that I have a lot of catching up to do in very little time, so I wanted to be as ready as possible."

"Don't worry. You'll be fine. The reanimation process is very controlled and from what we have seen thus far, it is very safe as well. Besides, I'm sure you've heard them say that there are rarely any emergencies in rehab or research."

"Definitely! I'm starting to think that's our specialty's unofficial motto or something," she laughed.

"Most of what you'll be doing initially is monitoring his vital signs, helping administer some medications, and some basic nursing care as well."

"Ah, smoothing fevered brows? Nursing has come very far, but I guess it still retains some of those old-fashioned romantic notions."

"Regardless, I think you are going to do very well. I'll let you get oriented to the facilities and equipment today, and we'll wake up Commander Harrison first thing tomorrow. I hope he's a morning person," he laughed.

"Oh dear, me, too. I'm the one that's going to have to put up with him," she snorted.

Upon their arrival and leaving their luggage with an attendant, Catherine and Dr. Smith headed to the Kelvin Memorial Archives. He took her through the security screening area and then led her to the turbolift. "We have to take it to the basement first and then head to the 'secret' turbolift for our base," he made quotation marks in the air with his fingers.

"How deep does it go?" she asked after they entered the Section 31 turbolift.

"Just far enough to be out of reach of most scanners. Ah, here we are," the lift stopped and the doors opened. "Just this way," he started to lead her through the complex and showing her some of the different labs the area contained. "Here we are. You need to use the retina scanner to get inside."

Dr. Smith led her inside after gaining access to the door. He showed her where all their equipment and medications were located as well as a small infirmary that was to be used for Harrison's initial stay as an inpatient. Catherine was impressed with the quality of the facilities and equipment. "So, where is Commander Harrison?" she asked.

"Oh, yes, it was rude of me not to introduce you," Dr. Smith smiled. "This way, my dear."

He led her down another hallway to a door. Punching in a security code, the door opened revealing a darkened room. Despite the darkness, Catherine could easily make out the cylindrical shape of the cryotube due to a faint light being emitted from the inside of it. A couple of panels displaying Harrison's vital signs on the side of it were also illuminated. Dr. Smith commanded the computer system to fully illuminate the room.

"Come on," he led her further into the room. "No need to be shy. He won't bite," Dr. Smith teased. As they both came to the side of the cryotube, after doing a couple quick checks on Harrison's biological readings, he beamed, "Lieutenant Troi, meet Commander Harrison. I can see here he's doing very well. His neural readings are now at baseline, and I expect things to run without a hitch tomorrow."

"Excellent. Tomorrow will definitely be a big day," Catherine remarked. She edged a little closer to get a better look at Harrison. "He looks so sad."

"Get used to it. He almost always looks somber like that. Sometimes I wonder about him and the other agents. I worry about their psychological and emotional health. They put them through a lot."

"I was looking at his medical files that you uploaded to my PADD, and, my word, the injuries he has sustained. I do not know how he does it," she gasped in awe.

"Supposedly he gets some of the worst missions, and yet, somehow he thrives. I only started to treat him as a patient after all of those injuries. Sometimes I wonder if they have some kind of agenda against him or if he just enjoys being a glutton for punishment."

"Doctor, did you notice anything odd about those injuries documented in his file?"

"Like what? That is, other than the fact that he looked like he'd been in multiple wars over the course of two months?"

"Unless there were documentation errors, some of those injuries occurred to the same areas of his body over a very short period of time, a matter of a few days in some cases, and yet, none of the photos show that they are present simultaneously."

"You mean the photos make it look like he healed over the matter of a couple of days?"

"Yes, and that can't possibly be right! Maybe I was just reading the files incorrectly. I was pretty tired."

"No, I think I'll take a look at those files again sometime. Maybe it was just a documentation error. That does sound very odd. Anyways, as I was saying, I worry about agents like him that are overworked. What I want to know is if they're ticking time bombs."

"That's a possibility, I suppose. We still see cases of post traumatic stress disorder even now."

"Right. What I'm afraid of is one of these guys just losing it someday and harming themselves or worse the rest of the public or us. You know, like Marcus, I do tend to pick on Harrison a lot for his peculiarities, but unlike the admiral, I do genuinely feel sorry for him sometimes. Some of his wounds I've treated, I've thought about what it might be like to go home to one's quarters and not have someone to look after you. All of his family is dead, and I do not get the impression that he has any friends. Like I said earlier, he always looks so sad and serious. I do not think I've ever seen the man smile. Well, like Marcus said, maybe you can figure him out a little."

"I'm starting to think that our patient needs more than just a nurse," she sighed. "Sounds like what he needs is a friend. I know there's a certain line we aren't supposed to cross in the patient-caregiver relationship in addition to the fact that he's our colleague, but maybe we can try to help him out."

"It's a thought. Oh well, for now let's just worry about getting him back in running order. I have some meetings and a conference the rest of the day. Any information you might need should be in your PADD. There's even a map of the complex so you can find the cafeteria if you don't care for replicator food from the lab here, but feel free to get out and try some of the local eateries. If you have any questions, just send me a text, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. The address to your new quarters is in your PADD, so you should be able to get a taxi there. So, with that, I will go ahead and leave you to get yourself oriented to the lab and whatever else you want to work on to prepare for tomorrow."

"Alright, sounds like a plan. If I don't hear from you, I'll see you here bright and early tomorrow morning."

Dr. Smith left Catherine in the room with Harrison. She put her equipment down on a nearby desk and walked back over to Harrison's cryotube. She gently placed her hand on the glass surface over Harrison's chest. " _You poor man_ ," she thought to herself. " _What have they really been doing to you?_ " She almost could sense his heart slowly beating under her hand despite it being nowhere near his chest. " _And yet, you are even more beautiful in person than your pictures let on. John…_ " she felt surprised as a single tear rolled down her cheek. Quickly brushing it away with the back of her hand. " _Okay, that is enough of that!_ " she scolded herself. " _He's unconscious. I can't possibly be sensing any emotions from him right now!_ "

Other than during her breaks, she remained in the room with Harrison the entire day finding his sleeping form to be somewhat comforting in her new, unfamiliar surroundings. After Catherine wrapped up for the day, she went to her new quarters. The place was furnished, thankfully, which helped make it appear to be not quite so empty, but at the moment, she really did not care. She had other things weighing on her mind.

"Janice, I'm in London!"

"How is it?"

"Well, honestly, I haven't really had a chance to see much of it. I'm already really busy trying to get caught up."

"Oh well, you're going to be there a while. You'll have time to see the sights. What's wrong?" Janice asked noting Catherine looked upset.

"Torchwood. Harkness."

"Trouble already?"

"Let me just put it this way. I haven't had the opportunity to interact with him yet, but I did meet him."

"And?"

"More handsome than Captain Jack, the Doctor, and even Captain Kirk."

"What does Harkness look like?"

"Remember what I said about him sounding like a macho Sherlock. He even looks like a macho Sherlock minus the mop of curls."

"No way!"

"Yes!" she moaned and put her head down.

"Try not to worry about him. Just try to focus. Be like Sherlock and be married to your work. And then, if something is meant to happen, it will happen."

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

"You don't seem so enthusiastic about it. Is something else wrong?"

"I just feel like something fishy is going on with him, like there's more than what they're telling me. It just feels very uncomfortable."

"Well, you better than anyone will ultimately be able to figure that out."

"I suppose…"


	5. Good Morning, Vietnam!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a couple exchanges here in tribute to the Star Trek episode "Space Seed" and to a scene in Sherlock. Kudos to those of you who can pick them out! :)
> 
> Listening track selection: "London Calling" by Michael Giacchino

Catherine got up bright and early the next day. They were planning on beginning to reanimate Commander Harrison at 0700 in order to try to start him off with as normal of a sleep-wake cycle as possible. Walking to the Kelvin Memorial Archives, she paused and flipped up the collar of her long coat and hugged it closer to her trying to shield herself from the chilly morning London fog before continuing onward pulling a small wheeled suitcase behind her. As she was the only nurse, Dr. Smith asked her to stay overnight for a couple of days to monitor and care for Harrison. He did not foresee him needing much attention during the night, so Catherine did not mind losing a couple of hours of sleep waking up here and there to do the job.

Arriving at the lab, she discovered that Dr. Smith had not yet arrived. After hanging her coat up and putting her suitcase in a small, furnished room with a bathroom where she would stay at night, she walked down to the room containing Harrison's cryotube and turned on the light.  _"Hi there, Sleeping Beauty,"_ she thought as she took a quick peek at his sleeping form.  _"Time to wake up soon. Better get to work,"_ she started to gather the supplies they would need for the reanimation process including hyposprays, IV supplies, and medications. She then set to work preparing the infirmary room where he would be staying for a short period of time.

"Good morning," Dr. Smith smiled. "I see you've been busy."

"I didn't want to be late and ended up arriving much earlier than I expected, so I figured I would get a head start."

"Great work. I'm going to run over the cafeteria real quick. Do you want some tea or coffee?"

"Sure, some non-replicated Earl Grey would be nice."

As the pair sipped on their hot beverages, they reviewed the reanimation plan. Once they felt comfortable with the plan and discussed how they would handle any potential complications, they set to work. Dr. Smith punched in a few commands onto a side panel causing the glass lid to open and retract exposing Harrison to the air. He only had on a small pair of black boxer briefs to preserve his dignity.

"You may insert the IV and start running the normal saline solution," Dr. Smith instructed. "I'll start deactivating the program."

Catherine gently took Harrison's large, left hand into her own. She lightly fingered the smooth, cold flesh on the back of his hand to feel his veins in order to choose an appropriate IV site. His fingers were long, and the tips were lightly calloused. After washing her hands and putting on a pair of gloves, she applied a tourniquet to his forearm and cleaned with an alcohol swab the site she intended to insert the cannula before inserting the needle into the vein. Successfully starting the IV, she connected the bag of fluids that she had prepared earlier and started running it per Dr. Smith's instruction. Despite the advanced technology available, some things were just done easier the old way.

The first phase of the process was quite slow, or at least it felt slow to Catherine. The main goal was to reheat Harrison to normal body temperature. As soon as this was achieved, the pair prepared for the second and final phase. Catherine stood on one side with Dr. Smith on the other.

"Ready?" he asked. She nodded. "Injecting epinephrine and Barclay's solution," he put a hypospray to Harrison's neck and injected the medications. Harrison's vital signs started to pick up, the readings causing the medical scanners to start to beep and blip more loudly and rapidly. Catherine could see his chest start to rise and fall more markedly and steadily. "Please commence with scanning his heart. Remember, we're trying to ensure there aren't any ischemic changes due to inadequate oxygen intake."

Catherine reached across to hold her scanner over Harrison's chest. Almost like a flash of lightning, his eyes shot open, his face full of rage as he grabbed hold of her wrist squeezing with all of his might. "Please stop!" she gasped feeling as if the bones in her wrist would snap at any moment. "Get him to stop!"

"Harrison!" Dr. Smith tried to shake him to get his attention.

"I don't think he's actually conscious," she reached with her other hand and tried to pry open his fingers. "I do not sense any meaningful or purposeful thought activity. Ah!" she hissed as he squeezed harder. "It's like a reflex!" tears began to fill her eyes.

"Hold on, I'll draw up a neuromuscular blocker to relax his muscles!" Dr. Smith scrambled to fill a hypospray.

"I think my wrist is going to-" Catherine stopped as they both heard a loud snap before she cried out in pain.

"I'm so sorry! Here, you inject his arm with this one," he handed her a hypospray with a muscle relaxer as he used a separate one to administer a sedative. After both medications were injected, Harrison's eyes drifted shut and his grip weakened before his arm fell limp beside him.

Catherine cradled her broken wrist with tears streaming down her cheeks. "We certainly didn't expect that to happen," she sniffled.

"No, that was not expected at all. Here, let me see," he started to scan her wrist, which was quickly turning a dark shade of purple. "A simple, closed fracture of the ulna. It does not need reset, and this should be a quick, easy fix." He held an osteoregenerator over her wrist. "Not completely healed, but you won't need to immobilize it unless it's uncomfortable. For now, I'll give you a small dose of good old morphine for the pain."

The pair continued to work onwards to successful reanimation despite the hitch in the plans. Soon, Harrison's vitals were running almost at normal limits, and his skin became warm to the touch. They transferred him to the infirmary once they decided he was stable.

"I suppose we have the sedative to thank for him not waking up fully just yet," Catherine stated.

"He's experiencing normal sleep at the moment due to the sedative, but otherwise we appear to have been successful."

"How long do you think he'll sleep like this?"

"There's no way of saying for sure. I expect that it will take longer for the medication to metabolize and be excreted by his body given the fact that we just reanimated him. I'll keep an eye on him. Why don't you go ahead and take a break and get some lunch. Take it easy with that wrist."

Later that afternoon, confident that Harrison remained stable albeit sedated, Dr. Smith provided Catherine with instructions regarding his care for the next 24 hours as he was flying out to Berlin to meet personally with Admiral Marcus and his staff to report on the results of the reanimation. If she had any questions or if there was a change in Harrison's status, she could easily reach Dr. Smith via a secure comm link that directly reached his PADD.

"In the event that he codes and you need assistance, there are some staff available in medical genetics down the hall that can help you until he is stabilized. I highly doubt, however, that this will happen. He's doing wonderfully thus far despite us having to drug him," he instructed on his way out the door. "I'll check in with you this evening to see how things are going."

Catherine went into the infirmary to do a quick check on Harrison. Assured that he remained stable, she pulled out a med pack and set it up on a bedside table by the biobed wanting to be prepared in the event of a sudden emergency. She gently pulled the blankets up further to make sure he was warm enough before going to the lab to work on her notes on the reanimation procedure. As she typed away, she thought she heard a sound come from the infirmary. Suddenly an alarm started to beep.

Stretching a bit, she got out of her chair to check and see if something was awry. Everything appeared to be the way she left it except for the blankets and a loose electrode that had come off of his chest triggering the alarm. She walked up and felt that Harrison's arm was cold. After replacing the electrode and as she was pulling up the blankets again, Harrison suddenly opened his eyes and launched himself towards her grabbing her by the throat and holding a scalpel from the med pack to her neck.

"Well, either choke me or cut my throat. Make up your mind," she rasped nervously.

"Where am I?" a baritone British voice rumbled seemingly unaffected by two months of cryogenic stasis.

"You're…" she choked. "You're hurting me."

Harrison let go of her throat, and grabbing her by the front of her dress pulled her closer to his face. "Where am I?" he repeated slowly, his voice rumbling deeper as he pressed the blade of the scalpel lightly to the skin of her neck.

"You're in bed holding a knife to your nurse's throat," she replied smartly holding back the tears in her eyes. "It would be most effective if you would cut the carotid artery, just under the ear."

"Answer my question, woman!" he shook her causing some of her hair to fall loosely from her ponytail.

"You're at the Section 31 base in London," a tear trickled down her cheek. With her reply, he let the scalpel slip from his grasp and fall to the floor with a small clang. "You've been in cryogenic stasis for two months. We just reanimated you this morning." He let go of her dress, but she remained inches away from his face. At that moment, she immediately could sense a change in his emotion changing from rage and confusion to embarrassment and remorse.

His features softening, he reached up and gently wiped away the tear off of her cheek with his thumb before reaching down and taking hold of her hand. "I am truly sorry," he pulled her hand to his lips and placed a chaste kiss on the back of it. "Did I hurt you, nurse?"

"No, I don't think so, but you startled me terribly," her voice still trembling and a little raspy, she stood up and straightened and smoothed out the wrinkles in her dress where he grabbed her with her hands shaking slightly from the adrenaline rush.

"No, no, I did harm you. Your neck is starting to bruise," he gently stroked some of her loose hair away from her neck.

"Oh, it will go away."

"And I frightened you," his eyes full of concern despite retaining a stern brow.

"It was only a misunderstanding. In your line of work, I'm sure you're always on high alert."

"Please," he scooted over a bit and patted the side of the bed, "have a seat until you can recover your faculties. I am sure you already know my name, but you have me at the disadvantage as I do not know yours."

Catherine reluctantly sat on the edge of the bed. Although she could sense no ill intent on his part, she still felt a bit leery about sitting next to a patient on their bed. "Lieutenant Catherine Troi," she replied as she poured him a glass of water and handed it to him. "You need to increase your liquid intake," she instructed him.

"It has been two months, and I have probably missed much," he took a sip of water. "I take it Dr. Smith's experiment has been a success?"

"Well, here you are awake and alive. I will be working with you daily to determine if there are any long-term negative effects and to monitor your return to activity."

"How long am I to remain in bed?"

"Anxious to get back to work already? You just woke up!" she smiled feeling comfortable with him sensing he was relaxed.

"I have very critical projects that are now two months behind. I need to resume my work as soon as possible."

"Admiral Marcus was right. You are a workaholic," she teased.

"I take it he will be overseeing your work as well?" he glared. Catherine nodded before sensing him become angry again. "I would take anything he says with a grain of salt. Just be careful with him," he warned taking another sip of water. "So, when can I resume my work?"

"Well, since you are so insistent to find out, you are to remain in bed for at least the next 24 to 48 hours, but I can see if Dr. Smith is comfortable with you resuming some of your work while confined here."

"Thank you, I would greatly appreciate that," he seemed to lightly smile. "What exactly will you be doing while I recover?"

"For now, I will continue to monitor your vital signs and administer any medications as needed. I will assist you with any activities of daily living like eating, washing, dressing, and such that you may not be able to carry out on your own due to any residual weakness."

"That will be unnecessary."

"Why is that?"

"I am not weak. I am better."

"Better at what?"

"Everything."

"Well, we'll just see about that," she challenged him with a sly smile. "We will be training together."

"Oh?" he arched his eyebrow.

"You will be providing me with some physical training, and I will be tracking your recovery at the same time."

"Killing two birds with one stone."

"Just try your best not to kill me. I am in shape, but not anywhere near in shape as you," she laughed as she pulled up her sleeves and crossed her arms.

"Speaking of killing, what happened to your arm? Who harmed you? Someone clearly grabbed you," he asked lightly touching her deeply bruised wrist causing her to wince and draw it back from his touch.

"Um…" she hesitated.

"Was it Admiral Marcus?" he growled.

"No, he's in San Francisco, and this happened this morning. I was just being clumsy, and trip-" she attempted to lie before he cut her off.

"I did this, did I not? It is broken. Tell me the truth."

"Yes, Commander, but you were unconscious. It was just a reflex. I certainly have no doubts about your strength as you have quite a grip! It is already healing, though, so no frets."

"I am not making a very good first impression on you, Lieutenant Troi," he took her arm in his hands before gently kissing the bruised area.

"I, uh, need to go get my tricorder. It's time to check your vital signs again," she quickly pulled her arm away and dashed out of the room. As the door closed behind her, Catherine backed up against the wall breathing rapidly putting her hand to her chest.  _"Oh holy Mary! Is he flirting with me? I can't completely read his emotions. He's all over the place! What is his story?"_  After calming down, Catherine grabbed her tricorder and returned to check his vital signs.

"I am making you uncomfortable, Lieutenant. Please forgive me. I am behaving inappropriately." She did manage to sense that he was sincere.

"Oh, no, I-"

"Your heart was racing, and your eyes became dilated. You were becoming a bit frazzled. Again, I am sorry. Perhaps it is because it has been a very long time since I have had the opportunity to behold such a lovely woman."

"Thank you, Commander," she blushed. "And please, you may call me Catherine if you wish. I don't care much for formalities."

"Call me, John, then."

"So, John," she started scanning him, "you don't have a girlfriend?"

"Girlfriend? No, not really my area."

"Alright, do you have a boyfriend? Which is fine, by the way."

"I know it is fine," he replied flatly.

"So you got a boyfriend?"

"No."

"Right, okay. You're unattached like me. Fine. Good," she moved the scanner around.

"Catherine, I think you should know that right now I consider myself married to my work, but…"

"But?"

"Given the right circumstances, that could always change."

 


	6. Destati

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: "Destati" is Italian for "awake" or "awakenings." From here on, the story will primarily refer to "John" rather than "Harrison" to show how Catherine begins to view him as a person rather than just a patient or test subject. There are a couple direct quotes from real people, and I have a couple footnotes to give credit to those people. Enjoy!
> 
> Listening track selection: "2-1" by Imogen Heap

Catherine updated Dr. Smith on John's status that evening and notified him that he had finally awakened from the sedative they had given him earlier. She did not, however, mention that John tried to kill her in the process.

"Go ahead and order him a very light meal from the replicator," Dr. Smith instructed. "If he stomachs that just fine, you can gradually advance his diet starting tomorrow morning."

"Right, we do not want him to overdo it as his GI tract motility will probably not quite be up to par just yet. He asked if he could resume working on some of his projects while hospitalized. I told him I wanted to get your thoughts on it first."

"Thank you for asking, and sure, he can work in bed all he wants. Just make sure to have him rest if he looks like he's fatiguing himself."

Catherine carried a tray containing a bowl of broth and some toast into the infirmary and quietly placed it on John's bedside table. John was staring off into space deep in thought.

"John, are you hungry?" she asked drawing him out of his reverie.

"Why yes, thank you," he pulled the table closer. "That's it?" he scrunched his nose lightly in annoyance.

"Unfortunately, for now, yes, that is all, but, if you tolerate this meal well, tomorrow we can start getting you back to regular food."

"These precautions are unnecessary," he clenched his jaw. Catherine frowned noting his disgust. "I usually do not require much in terms of nourishment, but at the moment, I do need food of some sort of substance if I am to recover quickly. I need meat," he lowly growled before pausing and looking at the tray of food again. "For you, however," he sighed, "I will comply," he picked up a piece of the toast and took a small bite.

"I'm sorry that it's not what you wanted and to disappoint you," she empathized. "I do have some good news, though," she brightened and smiled sparking John's interest, causing him to raise a brow. "Dr. Smith did say that it is quite alright for you to get back to some of your work on the condition that you do not fatigue yourself."

"Excellent! If you could do me the favor of retrieving my PADD, I would greatly appreciate it."

"Of course."

"It should be in the supply room with my personal effects."

"You keep eating," Catherine instructed before walking down the hall to retrieve the PADD. She quickly returned with the requested object as well as his robe and a pair of black lounge pants. "Wow, you're done already?" she noted that his tray was devoid of food. "Here you go. I figured you would be a little more comfortable in these," she showed him the garments.

"Ah, yes," he grabbed the lounge pants and quickly flung aside the covers jumping off the biobed before Catherine could scold him otherwise. "Problem?" he asked noting her mouth was agape and that she was staring at him.

"Umm, well," she turned away her gaze having caught herself staring at his nearly nude muscular form as he pulled up the pants, "I was going to tell you to let me help you," she explained as she held out the robe, "but do, please, take it easy," she stepped forward to guard his stance as he slung the robe over his shoulders.

"Nurse, I am fine," he insisted. "Here, I'll take that," he reached for the PADD that she had under her arm.

"Back to bed first."

"Very well," he groaned and jumped back onto the biobed and got comfortable.

"I'll leave you to your work and check on you in a while," she handed him the PADD.

Catherine left John to his work as she returned to her own.  _"Vital signs slightly elevated but within normal limits. Heart rate, rhythm normal. Breath sounds normal in all lobes. Neurological functions intact. Denies headache, dizziness. Pupils equal, round, reactive to light, and accommodation. Abdomen soft, nontender. Patient consumed 100% of his meal, 1000 ml liquids. Denies nausea, pain. Skin warm, intact, normal colorization for ethnicity,"_ she typed her nursing note away feverishly.  _"Affect tends to be flat but responds to humor, mood labile. Patient displays moments of aggression…"_ she paused thinking whether or not to note his act of violence towards her earlier,  _"but is able to self-calm and does not act upon his feelings,"_ she lied.

Before Catherine realized it, looking at the time it was almost 2230. "No wonder I'm so tired," she thought aloud.  _"And feeling a little guilty,"_ she remembered her deceit.  _"He hadn't meant to harm me. He was just frightened and confused,"_  she rationalized.  _"Better go check on him."_

Catherine knocked lightly on the doorway of the infirmary. "Enter," John commanded.

"John, it's getting late, and both of us should probably get some rest," she stood beside the biobed doing another scan of his vitals.

"I do not need rest. Rest is unnecessary. I've been resting for the past two months," he replied flatly as he typed away on his PADD.

"But-"

He interrupted her looking up from his PADD, "Do you always follow rules and orders to the letter out of fear of retribution from your superiors or do you do it because you feel it makes sense and is the right thing to do?"

"I'm not sure what you mean," she put her tricorder and scanner down as she tried to read his emotions.

"Miss Catherine," he took hold of her hand, "there may come a day when you will have to disobey orders and betray the oaths you have sworn to uphold because you know within your heart that everything you've been told is wrong and a lie. Will you follow your head or your heart?"

"John, I do not think they would ever ask me to do something immoral and unethical."

"Do not be so naïve to believe that everyone in Section 31 has the best interests of humanity in mind. There is more going on here than meets the eye, and one day, your eyes will be opened to that. One day, you too will be awakened as I have. For all you know, you may even now be unknowingly participating in something that goes against all you know is right and just."

"Are you suggesting that Admiral Marcus and Section 31 members are violating every regulation they vowed to uphold simply because they want to exploit me?"

"Intelligence agencies keep things secret because they often violate the rule of law or of good behavior. *****  What do they not want you to know? And how did they get to know it? Does the exposure of their techniques cause a threat to our security or does it just cause them embarrassment? ******  You think your world is safe? It is an illusion, a comforting lie told to protect you. Marcus is right, the 23rd century is when everything changes, and you need to be ready, Catherine. Darkness is coming. Tell me, would you be willing to do anything to protect those you hold most dear? Would you be willing even to murder to save the lives of those you love? You cannot even break a rule. How could you be expected to break bones?" his eyes narrowed as his voice deepened.

"Excuse me, I need some fresh air," Catherine tore her hand from his grasp and suddenly dashed out of the room and headed to the turbolift in order to go outside. Running out into the chilled night air, she ran a few feet down the sidewalk from the main entrance before stopping to gasp and clamp her hand over her mouth in order to hold in a sob. She could not understand what made her more upset, his words or the utter sincerity that he used when he spoke them.  _"He's one of their best. Would he lie about such things? But he's not lying! There is no deceit coming from him at all. He either knows about my abilities and can deceive me, or he is telling me the truth."_ She managed to calm herself down.  _"Why am I letting him get under my skin like this?"_

Meanwhile, back in the infirmary, John was a bit taken aback by Catherine's flight despite the gravity of his words.  _"Are all women this sensitive?"_ he groaned inwardly as he hopped off the biobed and walked down the hall to the supply room where some of his other belongings were being kept.  _"Surely not, for all the women I knew growing up were not flighty and prone to hysterics,"_  he noted as he found a shirt, his boots, and his coat.  _"Why would Marcus want someone so weak to work for Section 31? Her fear will assuredly cost someone his or her life if not her own. Then again, her obedience and willingness to submit makes her the perfect puppet. Perhaps there is a method to Marcus' madness,"_ he walked out of the lab after donning the articles he had found.  _"And maybe this puppet needs a new master,"_  he took the turbolift to the main floor.

Catherine stood quietly wiping the tears from her face with one hand while wrapping her other arm around herself in an attempt to keep warm. She suddenly felt a presence behind her.

"You really are underdressed for this weather," a now familiar voice spoke causing her to turn around.

"John, what are you doing? You should not be up let alone out here in weather like this!" she scolded as her teeth chattered.

"And neither should you," he took his coat off and put it around her shoulders. "It is not safe for a woman to be alone on the streets of London at this hour. Please, come back inside. I fear that I have once again upset you. I assure you that it was not my intention. I suppose tact is not one of my strengths. I only want you to know what you have gotten yourself into. I want you to be prepared. That is my assignment, is it not?"

"Yes, I suppose it is," she wrapped his coat around herself tighter noting that his scent lingered on the collar. "I only thought that they wanted you to oversee my physical training."

"When you accepted this job they told you that you would never be expected to participate in combat, correct?" he offered her his arm.

"Right," she linked her arm with his as they began to walk back to the main entrance of the archives. "They told me that it was highly unlikely but that they still want all staff to be prepared to at least be able to defend themselves."

"Catherine," he stopped and faced her placing his hands on her arms, his breath misting in the cold air as he said her name. "War is on the horizon. I know that nothing is being said of this by anyone in Starfleet Command, but I am telling you the truth. Come, we should not speak of such things out here," he looked around to make sure they were not being watched.

Upon returning to the lab, he had her sit at one of the tables. "Thank you for giving me your coat," she said softly as she shrugged it off of her shoulders and handed it to him.

"Would you like something warm to drink?"

"Some tea would be nice."

"Any kind in particular?"

"Earl Grey." John walked to the replicator and ordered a cup of Earl Grey for her and a cup of Darjeeling for himself. "How do you know all of this? How do you know there is going to be war?" she asked before blowing gently on her tea to cool it.

"Marcus has me designing advanced weaponry and starships. He probably has told you that Section 31's goal is to be prepared to fight in defense. He does not know, however, that I have intercepted intelligence during some of my missions that would indicate quite the opposite."

"He means to start a war?"

"Yes, that is what I have deduced."

"With who?"

"Most likely the Klingons."

"Things have always been rather tense between the Federation and the Klingon Empire."

"And the Klingons are incredibly susceptible at the moment making the time ripe to strike. Their homeworld, Kronos, is dying. In their greed, using Nero's ship they overmined their moon, Praxis, for dilithium. Praxis exploded several months ago. It is estimated that the oxygen on Kronos will be depleted in about fifty Earth years. Due to the Klingon Empire's enormous military budget, they do not have adequate resources to deal with this catastrophe."

"And so they either need to expand their empire and resettle or die."

"Exactly, and they would have nothing to lose in battle. To them, it would be better to die by the sword than to die by starvation or suffocation. Better to stamp them out while they are weak and disorganized, no?"

"That's horrible! An entire race decimated? Do you really support that?"

"I personally do not have a strong opinion on the matter. I only know what is excellent strategy in war. Have you ever met a Klingon?"

"Actually, no."

"They're foul-smelling brutes."

"But they have such a strong heritage and a culture that thrives on honor! It would be a terrible loss. No life should be snuffed out because they are deemed inconvenient, inadequate, or in this case, inhuman!" she raised her voice. "Besides, John, why are you telling me these things? You just met me. What does any of this have to do with me? I'm just a nurse."

"You're not just a nurse. You are my nurse. As you will be at my side as I continue my own work, you may possibly be put in the path of danger. It is only right that you know the truth."

"I see," she played with her mug of tea. "Why do you trust me, though? I am a complete stranger to you."

"I trust you because I can tell that you are a superior woman."

"Pardon?"

"Despite me breaking your wrist, you stayed at your post and stayed here alone to care for me. Despite your fear, you stood your ground and showed strength when I attempted to take your life. Despite my repeated failings and offenses towards you, you still treat me kindness and concern. And your little display of compassion and fervor, just now," his usually cold exterior softened, "for a people you have never met, that are not even human, shows me that, if the opportunity arose, you would disobey orders to stand up for what is right." Sipping his Darjeeling, his facial features turned cold once again as he sat straight up, "Well, enough of this. I will demonstrate in the morning how to alter the records to show that I did not leave the lab."

"A lie?"

"An omission," he smiled slyly.

"Do you alter records often?"

"Only when necessary. Sometimes ignorance is bliss especially in this field," he sighed as he took a seat across from her. "You look exhausted," he noted before sipping his Darjeeling again.

"I am pretty tired. I guess the past few days have been a bit of a whirlwind, though. Last week I just finished up a research study at Starfleet Medical in San Francisco. I went with my family to Betazed on leave to take a break, but shortly into my vacation I was summoned to start my work here."

"I think you're the one needing rest and not me."

"Well, you do seem to be doing just fine, but you need to be careful. If you push yourself too hard you might exacerbate the symptoms of your post-neural shock syndrome."

"My what?"

"You don't remember? They didn't mention if you lost consciousness or were amnesic to the event. You were hit with a plasma burst and developed post-neural shock syndrome."

"Oh, right, that's what happened," he lied as Catherine could sense his deception.

"Look, I know you're doing well, but, it would make my life a lot easier if you could just follow Dr. Smith's recommendations for your recovery at least until he sees you tomorrow. I feel like it reflects upon me poorly as a nurse when my patient is noncompliant. If you're so concerned about me getting rest, you will behave yourself and stay in bed thus preventing me from tossing and turning worrying that you might have a medical emergency due to your refusal to listen to doctor's orders. Let's face it, if I were you, I wouldn't want to have to rely on staff from the genetics department to show up and save my life," she rolled her eyes.

"Not all geneticists are that incompetent and inexperienced. I knew one that I would have turned to in a heartbeat to save my life," he frowned. Catherine could sense grief in his voice.

"What happened to them?"

"She died when her lab exploded. It was never determined if it was an accident, sabotage, or an act of terrorism," he looked down at his cup of tea trying to hide his emotions.

"She must have been very special to you. I'm sorry. I hope I did not offend you with my words."

"No offense taken. She had a beautiful heart, so much potential. She was like a mother to me." John quickly drank the rest of his Darjeeling. "Well, I suppose I'll get back into bed if that would please you," he tried to smile.

"Oh yes, I would greatly appreciate that," she stood up and followed him into the infirmary to reattach his electrodes and do one final check of his vital signs before turning in for the night. "If anything goes wrong, the scanners will set off an alarm in my room, but if you need anything, please do not hesitate to signal my comm system to ask. I don't want to have to peel you off of the floor or anything."

"Too much paperwork?" he grinned as she completed her scans.

"Yes, full-scale incident report!" she smiled before turning to walk out the door.

"Catherine?"

"Yes, John?"

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight, John."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Julian Assange
> 
> **Benedict Cumberbatch


	7. Radioactive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you to all of my lovely reviewers for your kind words and encouragement!
> 
> Listening track selection: "Radioactive" by Imagine Dragons

Catherine awoke around 0200 to do her scheduled check on John. Stretching and putting a lab coat over her pajamas and sliding on her slippers, she walked slowly down the dim hallway to the infirmary. The lights in the infirmary were turned off, but as the doors quietly opened, Catherine could see the faint glow of John's PADD emanating from the room.

"Still working?" she asked as she noted he was wide-awake and working away on his PADD.

"I know you want me to rest, but to be honest, I just can't sleep. I'm not tired. Besides, I have so much to catch up on after being out of commission for two months."

"It's okay, John. If you're not tired, then you're just not tired. We started your reanimation at 0700 in hopes of giving you as natural of a sleep-wake cycle as possible, but when you latched on to my wrist and wouldn't let go, Dr. Smith had to give you a sedative. So, things didn't quite go as we had planned. Anyways, he said that you could work as long as you're not wearing yourself out."

"How am I doing overall?" he asked as she wrapped up checking his vital signs.

"So far, everything has been perfect. Your heart and respiratory rates seem to run on the higher end of normal, but there's nothing wrong with that. Blood pressure is perfect. You tolerated your supper just fine, so we can advance your diet in the morning."

"You really want to call what I ate a meal?" he sneered.

"Don't worry, breakfast will be much better," she said before yawning.

"If you are finished, I will not delay you from getting back to sleep any longer," he insisted.

"Thanks, yes, I'm finished. See you at 0600," she walked out of the infirmary and went to crawl back into bed.

Feeling as if she just fell back asleep, Catherine inwardly groaned as her alarm went off again at 0515.  _"May as well get moving,"_ she clambered out of bed and started the shower in the small bathroom attached to her room.

After getting ready for the day, Catherine walked into the infirmary expecting to see John working. She was quite surprised, however, to see that he had dozed off, his PADD still clutched in his hand with his hair hanging loosely in his face. She smiled as she heard a light snore emanate from his slightly open mouth. She quietly walked to his bedside to perform her morning vitals and other scans. Upon completing her exam, she gently pried the PADD out of his hand, stroked the hair out of his face, and pulled up the covers.

Completing her documentation, she ate a light breakfast from the replicator and then started to read up further on some of the data from the previous experiments from the cryogenics program. She quickly found herself fighting to stay awake. Just as she herself started to doze off, a sudden noise alerted her that John was awake.

Walking into the infirmary, she found John's biobed empty. Hearing water running in the adjacent bathroom, Catherine knocked on the door. "John? What are you doing?"

"I'm getting a shower."

"John," she prepared to scold him.

"I have been asleep for two months. I am fine. I will be out shortly."

"He's going to be the death of me," Catherine huffed under her breath.

"I heard that," John suddenly walked out with only a towel around his waist.

"Oh dear," Catherine turned away and blushed. "I'll be out in the lab. Let me know when you're ready for breakfast," she rushed out of the infirmary.

" _I think I have found the key to mastering her,"_  John thought as he finished drying off and getting dressed.  _"She is clearly attracted to me. This revelation will prove to be useful."_

Catherine got some tea from the replicator before sitting and putting her head in her hands.  _"I'm making such a fool of myself, and I hate feeling so stupid like this. What have I gotten myself into? What am I doing here?"_

The door to the infirmary opened causing Catherine to look up. John walked out fully dressed and ready for the day. "I'm famished," he stated plainly.

"You said you would show me how to change the records," she glared at him.

"Touché," he nodded his head before walking to the control panel. "It's too easy. They should be embarrassed," he showed her which commands to punch into the panel. "And that's that."

"That was easy. Anything in particular that you would like?"

"No preference. Get me as bountiful a breakfast as permitted. I will be in bed working," he turned around and returned to the infirmary.

Catherine sighed as she went to the replicator. As she was looking through the replicator cards to choose an appropriate breakfast for John, Dr. Smith walked into the lab. "Good morning!" he smiled.

"Thank God," she muttered as she tossed the replicator cards on the counter.

"Something wrong? Is Harrison alright?"

"Physically he's doing great. Keeping him in bed, now that's another story! He's driving me crazy. He's probably fine enough to be up and about, but that's not a call for me to make. I have been constantly worrying that he'll overdo it or hurt himself!"

"Oh, sorry. We warned you he's stubborn," Smith smiled. "So, what are you up to at the moment?"

"I was trying to figure out what to get him for breakfast."

"Here, I'll pick it out for you and then go ahead and examine him."

Catherine used the replicator cards Dr. Smith selected to order John's breakfast. Putting all the food on a tray, she entered the infirmary where the doctor was performing his exam and put the tray down on the bedside table. "Any nausea?" he asked John.

"No."

"Well, that's surprising because I'm picking up a heavy amount of radiation. I did not think of scanning for it yesterday. There must have been a leak in one of the systems in the cryotube. We'll start treatment right away."

"And what of our dear nurse? She has spent many hours with and near me."

"Right, Catherine, I think I better examine you as well."

"Okay," she walked over and got on the biobed next to John's.

"How are you feeling?"

"Understandably tired, but otherwise fine. Wrist is a bit sore still."

"Wrist is healing well," Smith noted scanning her arm. "From where did this bruising come? That wasn't there yesterday," he noted the bruising on the side of her neck.

"I tripped," she lied. "I tripped and John caught me before I could hit the floor. He does have a tight grip you know," she looked past Dr. Smith and saw John look up from his tray of food, his bright eyes boring into her.

"Do be more careful. Commander Harrison may not always be around to break your fall," he chuckled. "You are emanating a low amount of radiation. Not enough that would be harmful, but we'll take care of it just to be sure. Nothing a couple of hours of treatment can't fix."

"I suppose it will give me time to catch up on my documentation. I'll go grab my PADD and be right back," she stated before leaving to retrieve said object.  _"Great, I'm stuck in the same room with him for at least two hours straight. I do hope he keeps working and doesn't sit there staring at me."_

Upon returning to the infirmary, Dr. Smith had her get back onto her own biobed next to John's. "Alright, let me adjust a couple of settings here for the scanners," he punched a few commands into the system, "and we'll get you your first dose of hyronalin," he injected the medication with a hypospray. "You two hang tight," he smiled. "I'll be out in the lab if you need anything."

Catherine immediately set to work on her nursing notes in hopes of avoiding any awkward conversations or situations. Much to her relief, John was equally as busy with his own work. Half an hour later noting a sudden silence coming from Catherine's side of the infirmary, John glanced over in her direction only to find her sound asleep with her PADD in her lap. Sliding off his biobed, he took the blanket from the bottom of his own bed, quietly walked to Catherine's side, and covered her with the blanket before returning to his own bed and work.

A bit later, Catherine awoke discovering that John had covered her with his blanket. Pretending that nothing had happened, she pulled out her PADD from under the blanket and resumed her work.

Dr. Smith came back to check on their progress. "Well, looks like you have a tiny residual of radiation left. I'll just give you another dose of hyronalin to be sure," he explained to Catherine before giving her another injection of the medication. "No need to stay here," he permitted her to get out of bed. "Now for you, Harrison," he pulled up the latest bioscans. "Well, that's bizarre," he noted looking at the diagnostics as Catherine slid off her biobed.

"Something wrong?" she asked as John looked up from his PADD and looked at her and the doctor.

"His radiation levels were pretty high, but with only one dose of hyronalin, the radiation is completely gone and his cells show no residual damage," Smith explained.

"But how? That's impossible! Maybe there's something wrong with the equipment," she suggested.

"Right," he agreed. "Computer, run a Level 4 diagnostic on all bioscanning equipment," he commanded the system.

" _No errors detected,"_  the computer system reported causing the two healthcare providers to look at each other with confusion.

"May I get out of bed now?" John asked breaking the silence.

"How are you feeling?" Smith asked.

"Like I'm in a cage."

"Well, I suppose we can let you get up and move around a bit more. You can do some of your work in the lab. Then after lunch we can run some initial endurance and fitness testing to see how you've held up after sleeping for two months. That is, if you're up to it?"

"The sooner we can get this foolishness out of the way so I can get back to my lab and my work, the better."

Catherine and Dr. Smith left John to work in the lab while they went to examine the cryotube and try to determine where the radiation leak originated. "What is going on here?" Smith asked himself out loud.

"You don't think that someone has been tampering with any of our equipment, do you?" Catherine asked.

"While anyone in Section 31 is fully capable of sabotaging our equipment or falsifying data, I do not suspect that this is the case here. Unfortunately, I have no explanation for what's going on here."

"Did you by chance look at his medical records?"

"No, I haven't had the opportunity to look at them yet."

"But you have suspicions about him as well, don't you?"

"Your Betazoid intuitions are correct," he shook his head as he pulled up John's medical records. "Odd, there's no DNA profile in here. Everyone in Section 31 has to submit blood and tissue samples when they join."

"Want a blood sample?" Catherine suggested with a sly look on her face.

"Come to think of it, his electrolytes might be off a bit," Smith smiled and played along. "Better get a sample."

"I'll be right back," she took the syringe Smith handed her and went to collect John's blood. "John, Dr. Smith asked me to collect a blood sample. He wants to see what your current electrolyte levels are like. I think he may also run liver and endocrine panels."

"Very well," John replied as he pulled up his sleeve and held out his forearm.

Catherine returned after successfully collecting the sample. "Well, that was easy, although, I may have lied to him."

"Well, to preserve our integrity, we'll go ahead and run those labs. In the meantime, I'll start running a very detailed DNA analysis. It may take a while."

After Dr. Smith started running the diagnostics on the blood sample, the pair continued to work to find the cause of the radiation leak. They quickly discovered that it was a mere accident due to a flaw in the connection of one of the lines in the built-in backup generator. Upon completing the documentation of their findings and reporting the information to the bioengineering lab, they went to inquire if John was ready for lunch.

"Commander Harrison, would you like something to eat? You can go ahead and have anything you want now since you have been tolerating your meals."

"Yes, I will get myself something to my liking," he walked to the replicator, looked through the replicator cards, and selected chicken curry, naan, and Darjeeling.

"You enjoy Indian cuisine?" Catherine asked as she sat across from John at the table.

"It is my favorite, such a wide variety of spices and flavors," John replied dipping his naan in the curry sauce.

"When I visit my friend Janice in Pittsburgh, we always go to our favorite Indian restaurant. You'll have to give me some suggestions for local eateries here in London," she poked at her salad with a fork as Dr. Smith joined them.

After finishing lunch and making sure everyone had enough time to digest their food, Dr. Smith escorted Catherine and John to the physiology lab where they would be checking John's endurance and fitness levels. Peeling off his shirt, John sat in a chair so Catherine could attach various electrodes and probes to his chest and arms. She then took a baseline scan of his vital signs to use for comparison.

"If you're ready, Harrison," Dr. Smith came over after programming the lab equipment, "we'll start with the treadmill."

John nodded his head and got on the treadmill as Dr. Smith started up the test program. As expected, the program started things off slow in order to ensure John was able to handle physical exercise again. "Does this go any faster?" John sighed in boredom.

"All of your readings are fine, so I suppose I can override the program and manually increase the speed. Any signs of trouble, though, and we're aborting the test immediately," Smith threatened as he turned up the speed dial controlling the treadmill bringing John to a jog before increasing to a full on run.

"Incredible," Catherine thought out loud looking at John's diagnostic readings and comparing them to his pre-cryogenic baseline levels. "There's hardly any deviation in his pre- and post-cryogenic stasis readings. He hasn't become deconditioned at all!"

"He doesn't even look like he's about to fatigue," Smith noted in awe. "What is he? A superman?"

"No, radioactive," she quipped causing them both to chuckle.


	8. I Must Break You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter is a bit long, but it just coming out and wouldn't stop! I didn't want to break it into smaller pieces either. Some mild violence, but nothing worse than you would see on something like CSI. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! :)
> 
> Listening track selections: "Break Me Down" and "The Moment We Come Alive" by Red

Dr. Smith and Catherine discharged John from his inpatient stay late that afternoon after he passed his fitness and endurance testing with flying colors despite the medical providers remaining perplexed at his abilities.

"Whether the equipment is wrong or not, he can't fake what he showed us today," Smith sighed as he plopped in a chair back in the lab after John had left.

"Any theories?" Catherine asked joining him.

"No, not yet. We'll have to wait and see what the DNA analysis shows us. There surely has to be some answers there."

To finish off the week, John had to report from his own lab to the cryogenics lab for Catherine to take further scans and perform exams three times a day. He quickly grew tired of this routine as his results never changed and was glad that the frequency of these appointments only had to last the rest of that week. Catherine sensed his irritation and decided to try to remedy the situation by offering to meet him in his own lab that Friday to perform her scans. Needless to say, John took her up on her offer.

Friday morning, Catherine stood outside the door of John's personal lab and pressed the comm button beside the door signaling her arrival. "Enter," she heard his deep voice direct her as the doors swooshed open. He was standing at a table bent over plans for a starship.

"Good morning," she slowly walked towards the table.

"Morning."

Catherine took in her surroundings gazing at models of various weapons such as phasers and torpedoes, blueprints of starships, and partially fabricated pieces of tactical equipment. "You designed all of this?" she asked in awe.

"Yes, every last piece of it," he looked up.

"How long has it taken you to create all of this?"

"Just a few months," he looked back down at the plans.

"John, that's amazing. You're brilliant," she walked to his side. "What is her name?" she asked referring to the ship plans he was working on as she pulled out her tricorder and medical scanner.

"The  _Vengeance_. She's being fabricated just as we speak."

"She's beautiful," she admired the ship's sleek design. "How are you feeling today?" she asked as she scanned him.

"Fine."

"Your blood pressure is slightly elevated. Is something upsetting you?" she asked also sensing that he was tense.

"Just a little stress," he sat down on the stool at the table as she finished her scan.

"Deadlines to meet?"

"You could say that," he sighed lightly as she put her equipment down on the table.

"Is there anything that I can do to help?" she cautiously placed her hand on his shoulder feeling that his muscles were tense with stress.

"Just keep performing your duties admirably."

"John," she pulled another stool up and sat by him, "I know things started off between us on the wrong foot, but, please, as your nurse, feel free to tell me anything. You can come to me anytime. I will not divulge your secrets."

"Catherine," he looked up at her, "I'm afraid I cannot tell you anything right now. Lives are in the balance. Thank you, though, for your offer," he got up quietly and went back to work.

" _His eyes are so sad, so tired,"_ she noted. "You're welcome, John," she also got up and left the lab.

Unsure if she cared and worried for John or couldn't stand him, Catherine walked back to her quarters that evening. "Thank God it's Friday," she sighed kicking off her boots. Happy that two days off were ahead of her as Dr. Smith decided it was unnecessary to have John examined over the weekend, she snuggled up on her couch and quickly fell asleep only to be abruptly startled by her PADD beeping with a high priority incoming message. Sitting up and groaning, she picked up the PADD to read the message.

" _Meet me tomorrow morning at the archives at 0400. Wear your training uniform. – John"_

"Aww, damn it!" she swore out loud and threw a pillow across the room. "Are you kidding me?" she groaned and got up to find her training uniform in her suitcases before getting ready for bed.

Barely able to drag herself out of bed, Catherine got ready and met John exactly at 0400. He looked well rested, his hair neatly slicked back. She, on the other hand, felt like she must have looked like a mess as she tried to tidy her ponytail. "I've been waiting," he complained crossing his arms.

"I'm on time, John," she creaked, her voice clearly betraying her fatigue. "I'm supposed to be off today, you know."

"And when I'm in the field fighting for my life, do you think I get a day off?" he sneered.

"No."

"Shall we begin?" he turned and started to walk away.

"Where are we going?" she ran to catch up with him.

"El Capitan." John led her to a waiting shuttle. Letting her get in first and having her sit, he then took the pilot's seat.

"You didn't tell me to bring anything," she protested.

"You won't need anything," he punched in commands to the navigation controls.

"How long are we going to be there?"

"Just long enough."

"What are we going to do?"

"Your training," he spat and looked at her with an annoyed expression that made her feel like an idiot.

Catherine looked out the window trying to the hide the fact that he hurt her feelings and did not utter another sound the entire shuttle ride to Yosemite Valley in California. The sun was barely starting to rise as he landed the shuttle. Opening the doors, he led her out of the shuttle into the pale morning light.

"Start running," he commanded her.

"What?"

"Start running!" he pulled out a phaser from behind him under his shirt.

"John, are you crazy?" she questioned him unable to read his emotions.

"I said," he charged the phaser, "start running and don't stop until I tell you!" he shouted before taking aim and shooting at the ground by her feet.

Catherine turned and started to run through the forest unsure of which direction to go.  _"I can't sense his intentions. Then again, I do not think that I've ever been this afraid in my life. My fear must be clouding my judgment,"_ she thought as she dodged trees left and right.

She ran until she felt like she could run no more. Stopping to try to catch her breath, she listened to her surroundings unsure if John had followed her. Suddenly, she felt a phaser pressed to her back. "I didn't tell you to stop," she heard him growl lowly in her ear as he charged the phaser again.

" _How in the world did he creep up on me like that?"_ Catherine thought fighting to hold back tears of pain as she bolted off again, the lactic acid burning her leg muscles. She ran a couple more miles and through a cold brook before she finally tripped over a small boulder and collapsed in a pile in exhaustion and pain. She knew her pants were torn and knees were cut and bleeding, but she did not care anymore. She just wanted to be with her parents on Betazed on vacation or anywhere, for that matter, away from here and from him. She could hear some leaves rustling and thought she heard a set of footsteps approaching her location.

"You can stop now," John stated coldly as he reached the clearing where she had fallen.

"What is wrong with you? You're insane!" she shouted at him as she struggled to sit up. "Why are you doing this to me? I've done nothing but help you!" she grabbed a small tree branch off the ground and threw it in his direction.

"Catherine, Catherine," he knelt down, the morning sunrise behind him, "I must break you."

"Why? What do you mean?" she wiped the tears off her cheeks with the backs of her hands as she sat on the forest floor.

"You are a superior woman, Catherine, intelligent, but you doubt yourself. Your doubts make you weak. Why do you doubt yourself?" he brushed some of the dirt off her arm.

"I do no such thing," she spat back pulling her arm away from his touch with her eyes full of rage.

"Ah, but you do. You are full of passion. Even now I can see it in your eyes. And yet, you dare not confront others when it matters most. I know you have questions. I've overheard your conversations with our dear doctor. Why not go to Admiral Marcus yourself and ask him? Demand for him to tell you what is going on. You must become ruthless."

"I can't just do that! It's against regulations!" she rolled her eyes.

"Quite true. No, you can't just yet as the time is not right. At some point, however, when it matters the most, you may need to do it. Will you be ruthless and demand answers, or will you cower around whispering questions to the dark?" he held out his hand offering to help her up.

"What was the point of this particular exercise?" she took his hand as he pulled her up.

"Besides breaking you?"

"Yes," she brushed the dirt off her pants and winced seeing her bloody knees.

"If you are not going to fight in combat, then at least you need to be able to run."

"What if I want to fight?" she looked at him her eyes emblazoned with the passion he mentioned earlier.

John smiled seeing her enthusiasm, "Then I will teach you. First, let us go back to the shuttle and get you patched up."

After John helped her clean and tend to her cut knees and they took a moment to have a small snack, John led her to a nearby clearing. "Now what?" she put her hands on her hips.

"You want to be able to fight, do you not?"

"At least enough to defend myself and pack a little punch if needed."

"Very well," he suddenly turned and threw a punch in her direction causing her to duck. "Good, you have that down," he smiled. After a couple of hours of John teaching her various defensive moves and counterattacks, the pair were easily able to spar with each other moving together almost in a dance-like fashion. "You catch on quickly. I think we can move on to the last part of your training for the day."

"El Capitan?"

"Yes, let's go back to the shuttle and get the equipment."

Having gathered their climbing gear from the shuttle, the pair started their climb up the cliff face. "I enjoy climbing, but I have not climbed anything this high."

"I'm sure you haven't been this physically tired either," he looked down at her as she followed behind him.

"No, probably not," she thought about her aching muscles and her sore healing wrist fracture wondering if this was a good idea or not. As the pair fell silent, Catherine focused on her climbing not noticing that John had gotten quite far ahead of her. Suddenly, she gently pulled on the ropes only to feel them slide loosely and fall past her to the ground. "John!" she panicked.

"Keep climbing!" he called back down to her having already reached the top.

"What did you do?"

"I'm breaking you!" he voice boomed as she just realized that the sky had grown dark with cloud cover.

"I can't do this!" her voice shook as it started to sprinkle a light rain.

"Just keep climbing! Do not think about anything else! Focus!"

Catherine did her best to focus on the climb and to ignore her fear and the rain that started to slowly get harder. Her muscles ached every time she reached over her head or pushed up with her feet. A sharp pain stabbed in her wrist, and she started to wonder if she really did fracture it again when she tripped and fell earlier that day. She started to feel like she was reaching her physical and emotional breaking point. Looking up, she could see that she had only about fifty more feet to climb, but to her, it felt like miles.

"I can't do this, John!" she cried out her eyes full of tears pleading with him as she felt her strength failing.

"You can, Catherine. Reach inside yourself. You can do this," his calm voice commanding but encouraging boomed down at her. "You're stronger than you think. Look at me!" Catherine gazed into his eyes, her arms shaking with the strain. "Come to me, Catherine," he held out his hand despite the distance between them.

She cried out in pain as she pushed herself farther up the cliff face. The rain now was steady, and at times, she struggled to see where to grab hold of the rock next. "John, please," she begged him. "Please throw me a rope!"

"There are no ropes," he threw the remaining ropes off the summit. She started to cry as they whizzed past her just out of her reach. "Climb!"

Catherine continued until the edge of the summit was a couple of feet from her reach. With what remaining strength she had left, she pushed herself up and grasped the edge. "John, please help me," she whimpered seeing him a few feet away.

"Come on, Catherine. Do not doubt yourself," he held out his arms.

She pushed a bit further and managed to pull herself up over the edge. She took a few steps towards John, the rain now a downpour, before collapsing once again as she did early that morning. John ran to her side as she began to sob. "It hurts so much," she tried to rub her aching muscles and cradled her wrist.

"But you did it," he knelt down. "All by yourself, you fought, and you reached your prize. Now claim it," he pulled her up. "Claim it!"

Catherine, her legs shaking, stood at the edge of the summit, held up her arms in victory, and screamed at the top of her lungs letting out all the fear, pain, and frustration she had been feeling all day. The rain mingled with the tears on her cheeks as she sobbed and then screamed again before turning around and punching him as hard as she could in the chest, "I hate you! You're a savage, and I truly hate you!"

Unfazed, he smiled crookedly and pulled her towards him to whisper in her ear. "You're ready for anything now. Let's go back to the shuttle," he pulled out a communicator and remotely signaled the shuttle to transport them back.

"I suppose you designed that, too," she sneered after they materialized in the dry interior of the shuttle as she tried to collect her faculties after her excessive display of emotions on the summit.

"Yes, and I am working on a long-range version at the moment."

The pair rode again quietly on the shuttle as they headed back to London. Not caring that she looked a mess and that her wrist ached, Catherine was glad to be back and looked forward to a hot shower and her bed. "Please tell me I have the day off tomorrow."

"Of course," he smiled. "The majority of your training is complete. We can, of course, do regular workouts together to maintain your fitness level. And, you can continue to carry out your scans on me as planned. Care for me to walk you home?" he offered as it was now in the early morning hours in London.

"No, I'll be fine," she glared at him and turned to head towards home.

John followed her quietly at a distance despite her insistence that she would be fine walking home alone. He knew he had pushed her far beyond her physical and emotional limits and wanted to ensure that she made it home safely. Not knowing he was following her, she turned down an alley in hopes of taking a shortcut when she heard a noise from behind a nearby dumpster.

"Well, well, what have we got here?" a shabby fellow and two ruffians came out of the dark into the moonlight.

"A pretty lady," one of the thugs grinned an evil smile. Catherine ignored them walking with purpose and quickened pace towards her destination.

"Where do you think you're going?" an Andorian man walked out in front of her. "I think my friends want to have a little fun."

"Don't touch me! I'm warning you!" she threatened.

"We've got a feisty one!" one of the men laughed as they surrounded her.

Catherine, despite her exhaustion, remembered what John taught her and immediately started to fight back when one reached out to grab her arm. Unfortunately, she was outnumbered, and her body betrayed her as her strength gave out. The Andorian, whom she had punched in the gut, grabbed hold of her from behind while another slapped her across the face splitting her lip.

"I wouldn't do that again if I were you," a voice at the end of the alley boomed.

"John!" Catherine called out.

"Mind your own business, mate! We found her first! You can have her when we're done!" the leader laughed as John approached them. "Besides, what are you going to do?" he signaled the other man to slap her again causing her to cry out in pain.

"I warned you," John growled grabbing the shabby man and throwing him into a wall, his body falling limply to the ground, a pool of blood forming around his crumpled form. The other two thugs went after John leaving the Andorian behind to restrain Catherine. John made quick work of one. When he got to the man who slapped Catherine, he took hold of his head, "Never ever hit a woman!" he snarled before snapping his neck. Catherine managed to wriggle free and knee her captor in the groin before snapping off one of his antennae and hitting him in the neck to incapacitate him just as John had shown her earlier that day.

"John," she ran to him.

"You're bleeding," he tilted her head gently to look at her bloodied lip in the moonlight. "Come on," he scooped her up without her protesting, "I'm taking you home."

Catherine fell asleep in John's arms on the way back to her quarters. He gently laid her on her couch and noted how swollen and discolored her wrist was and assumed she truly had fractured it again. As he pulled a blanket up over her sleeping form, out of the corner of his eye, he saw her medical equipment resting on the side table, picked it up, examined it, and happened to find a syringe, empty ampule, and a hypospray. After ensuring that she was soundly asleep, he fiddled with the equipment before injecting Catherine with the hypospray causing her to stir.

"What did you just inject me with?" she sleepily asked not even opening her eyes.

"Just an analgesic to make you more comfortable," he lied as he placed the equipment back on the side table. "Go back to sleep," he whispered and brushed a few stray hairs out of her face before going to find a washcloth to tend to her lip. Returning to her side, he gently wiped the dried blood from her lip and chin causing her to groan and wake up. "Shh," he soothed her. "It's alright. Just lie still," he continued wiping the blood away. "It's just split. Shouldn't take long to heal. Tomorrow you might have some bruising on your cheek, though," he lightly stroked her cheek with his fingertips.

"You saved my life," tears started to form in her eyes as she awoke more fully and came to remember what had happened in the alley. "I tried to fight them off."

"And you did very well," he smiled. "If you weren't so tired, you probably would have succeeded. We will continue to work on your combat skills, though, if you'd like."

"Sure," she nodded her head. "You go on and get home, John. I'll be alright now," she smiled.

"Are you absolutely sure? What about your wrist?"

"Yes, go on. I'll just brace it for the night and get it treated tomorrow," she shooed him away with her opposite hand in the air. As he got to the door, she sat up quickly and called out, "John?"

"Yes, Catherine?"

"I'm sorry."

"Pardon?"

"You're not a savage. I'm sorry that I hurt you earlier."

"No offense taken. I've been called much worse," he turned to open the door.

"And John?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For making me stronger. For making me feel alive."

"You're welcome. Get some sleep," he smiled and walked out the door. Walking quietly back to his lab in the dead of night, he stopped and looked up at the moon.  _"Now she is ready. She will do anything I ask of her."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is John planning?!


	9. Space Seeds in Unstable Ground

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listening track selection: "Unstable" by Anberlin
> 
> A/N: Thanks again to all of my lovely reviewers and followers! And now for the "morning after"...

Catherine awoke on her couch late Sunday morning. As tempting as it was for her to go crawl into bed, she knew that she would probably only feel worse if she overslept. Sitting up gingerly expecting every muscle in her body to ache, she was surprised to discover that she felt fine.  _"That's odd,"_ she thought as she stretched her arms above her head as she yawned.

" _Wait a minute, what about my wrist?"_ she looked down at it after noting she did not feel it throbbing and that she had forgotten to put a brace on before she fell back asleep. She noted that there was no swelling or bruising.  _"Now I know without a doubt that I hurt it again yesterday. What in the world?"_  She then pulled up the legs of her pants to look at her knees only to discover that they were healed and that the scabs were already starting to peel off.

Catherine jumped off the couch and ran to the bathroom to look in the mirror. A small amount of dried blood remained in the corner of her mouth, but the split in her lip was gone. Her cheek had a pale yellow tint to it showing the remains of the bruising that should have been a fresh purple.  _"Okay, Catherine, you're either losing it, you were trapped in a time loop, or you're Rip Van Winkle,"_ she thought as she lightly touched her cheek.  _"John?"_  Running into her living room, Catherine picked up her PADD and typed a quick message to Janice.

" _Janice, please tell me what day it is!"_

" _Sunday, why? How are things? I haven't heard from you since last week when you got to London. Were you out clubbing or something?"_

" _No,"_ Catherine typed as she confirmed the stardate on her PADD with Section 31's chronometers,  _"just lost track of time. Sorry I haven't had a chance to talk. I'll call you as soon as I can."_

Catherine put the PADD aside and picked up the empty hypospray off the table where John had put it after he had injected her with it early that morning. Pulling the empty ampule off the end of the device, she looked at it closely noting that there was still a small amount of a dark red substance pooled and dried up at the bottom. She took a whiff and noting a deep iron scent immediately felt a sense of dread inside,  _"Blood?"_

Grabbing her tricorder, she scanned the ampule and found traces of O+ blood from an unknown male human donor. "Dear God, he injected me with blood!" she dropped the equipment, jumped up, and started to pace back and forth. "Whose blood? His blood? Why blood? I didn't lose that much blood yesterday! What the hell?"

Catherine would have continued her panicked ravings if it was not for her stomach growling and protesting quite loudly causing her to take notice. She had come to the realization that she had next to nothing to eat the day before. Calming herself down she made a small breakfast and sat at her kitchen counter to consume it.

" _There has to be a reasonable explanation for this,"_  she tried to rationalize as she stirred some granola into her yogurt with a spoon.  _"Maybe I should ask Dr. Smith for help before confronting John."_

After finishing her breakfast, she went to her desk and thought how best to address the situation before establishing a comm link with Dr. Smith. "Hello, I'm sorry to bother you on our day off," she apologized as he answered.

"Are you okay? You seem upset," Smith furrowed his brow noting she looked distressed.

"Well, something really weird happened last night. I think that it would be better if we discussed this in person," she looked down blushing.

"Sure, where do you want to meet?"

"I think the lab would be best."

Meeting at the cryogenics lab at the mutually agreed upon time, Catherine brought her personal medical equipment with her so that Dr. Smith could scan them in person to verify her concerns. She briefly explained the situation without going into detail about John's brutal training regimen and the event in the alleyway that had led up to him taking her home.

"He trained me so hard yesterday. As usual, I was clumsy and got hurt, scraped my knees and landed face first into the ground, split my lip," she lied. "I think I also broke my wrist again as it was very swollen and painful. I was so exhausted, and he ended up carrying me part of the way home. I had fallen asleep and woke up after he injected me with my hypospray. He told me it was just an analgesic for my pain, but I think he lied. Can you scan this empty ampule and confirm what I scanned with my tricorder?"

Smith quickly scanned the ampule and reported, "It is O+ blood from an unknown male human donor."

"That's exactly what my-"

"Wait!" he interrupted her. "My tricorder just synced with the Section 31 database. It matches a sample just added to the database last week. What in the world?"

"Whose blood is it?" she demanded he tell her. He turned the screen of his tricorder to face her, and she was met with John's personnel picture staring back at her. "Why would he do that?"

"Hold on a minute. You said that you were hurt, but I do not see anything wrong with you. Your wrist looks fine."

"I'm not crazy if that's what you're insinuating!"

"No, calm down, I'm not, but with all of the odd things going on around here, I want to do some scans on you to see if there were any negative changes caused by him injecting you with his blood."

"Okay, for peace of mind if anything," she agreed.

Dr. Smith led her into the infirmary and had her get onto the biobed. Starting up the sensors, he started by scanning her skin. "According to my scans, the skin cells on the surfaces of your knees are brand new. Same with your lip, only a few hours old but fully mature." He then scanned her wrist, "The scans show that, compared to your original ulnar fracture, there are new microfractures stemming from the original break that weren't there on Friday when I checked up on you, but they are completely healed. They look even better than if I had used the osteoregenerator on them!"

"Anything in regards to his blood?"

"Well, there are no diseases detected, so no worries there. Being O+, he's a universal human blood donor, and I detect no adverse reactions to your mixed human-Betazoid blood. In the grand scheme of things, it was, after all, a very small amount of blood," he noted matter-of-factly.

"But it still does not answer why he did it nor why my injuries practically disappeared overnight," she sighed. "I want to confront him, but I think it would be reasonable to wait until your DNA analysis is completed."

"I agree, there is no sense in making accusations just yet. Besides, the infusion did help you and did no harm."

"Yes, you can't argue against that," she admitted.

Catherine and John mutually distanced themselves from each other following their interaction at her quarters. Catherine carried out her scans on him with as minimal interaction as needed, and John busied himself with his work and largely ignored her presence. She could sense that something weighed heavily on his heart, and as much as she wanted to comfort him, she felt like part of her could no longer trust him due to him lying to her about with what substance he injected into her using her hypospray. Aside from the blood incident, she did not, however, sense anything else bizarre or mentally unstable about him, which made the incident all the more confusing to her.

One morning a few days later as Dr. Smith and Catherine worked together in the lab, they received a surprise comm signal alert from Section 31 headquarters in San Francisco. One of Admiral Marcus' staff members notified them that Marcus would personally be in London that afternoon to discuss the next phase of the cryogenics project with them. Dr. Smith was not even sure what the next phase entailed despite his leadership on the first half of the project.

Admiral Marcus arrived with two chief Section 31 staff members, a Denobulan physician, Dr. Zineeri, and a bioengineer, Dr. Uzumaki. After the necessary introductions were made, the group gathered in the small conference room attached to the lab and sat down to discuss the future of the project.

"As you are both aware," Marcus started out, "the cryotubes we discovered were found on the ancient Earth ship the  _Botany Bay_. I had mentioned that these tubes, like the tube that we modified to use for Harrison, were unoccupied. What I failed to mention at the time was that there were other cryotubes that we found on board, and these particular tubes were in use."

"How exciting!" Smith leaned forward in his seat. "Any survivors?"

"Yes, most of the occupied cryotubes did in fact contain survivors."

Dr. Uzumaki picked up, "We never would have expected 300 year old technology to be so advanced let alone effective, but needless to say, we were pleasantly surprised."

"We, of course," Dr. Zineeri added, "have not yet tried to reanimate any of these individuals. We wanted to use the empty tubes to perfect our understanding of the technology and the methods they used before even thinking of attempting to try to do anything with one of the occupants."

" _He is lying through his teeth. They have tried to reanimate someone. I wonder if they were successful,"_ Catherine thought to herself sensing his deceit."This is where we come in, I presume?" she glared at the high-ranking officials sitting in front of her.

"Yes, Lieutenant Troi," Marcus smiled. "Your Betazoid intuition is correct. All of the tubes are actually being stored right here in this base in a secret warehouse vault, but for now, we are only going to have a couple transferred to your lab for you to study."

"Our objective?" Dr. Smith folded his hands.

"For now, we want you to monitor and study our sleeping friends while they're in stasis. And, ideally, we want you to figure out the safest way to reanimate them," Dr. Zineeri explained.

"We'll have a couple of the cryotubes delivered tomorrow morning, and, if those two don't work out, we've got plenty more," Marcus informed them as the three got up to leave.

"Wait, Admiral Marcus!" Catherine ran up to him.

"Yes?"

"What about John?"

"Harrison?"

"Yes, sir, Commander Harrison. Are we still going to be following him and monitoring for any long-term effects from his time in cryostasis?"

"Of course, yes, you will still be performing those tasks. Why do you ask?"

"I just wanted to be sure to have that clarified as I think it would be wise to continue to follow him," she felt as if she had just slightly lied as she was unsure of her intentions for wanting to continue to see John on a daily basis.

"Right, those are legitimate concerns as to why you should continue to follow him. Besides," he leaned in closer to her so the others could not hear, "I want you personally to keep an eye on him. He's been a little unstable lately, and you're the best person to keep tabs on him if you know what I mean."

"Yes, sir, I understand," she nodded her head.

"Let me know right away if there's anything I should know about," Marcus advised her before turning to rejoin his comrades as they left.

"Well, I'm excited about this turn of events," Dr. Smith noted after the pair were once again alone.

"Me, too," Catherine smiled. "Just think, people from the past! My history professors would be so jealous if they knew about this," she thought aloud before pausing. "I just don't like that they deceived us."

"I don't either. I really don't see the point of hiding that information from us beforehand."

"No, it's just another thing to add to my list of doubts about them."

"Do you think there's more going on here than what we've been told?"

"From the very beginning when they brought me on, I've had this sense that they're hiding something. And this new revelation only makes me wonder if there's even more they're not telling us."

The next morning, as promised, a set of occupied cryotubes was transported into the cryogenics lab. Catherine immediately set to work scanning one tube while Dr. Smith took a look at the other. The cryotube she had selected contained a tall woman of African descent. Catherine thought that she was beautiful but that she also looked strong and fierce.  _"She looks like she could have been a warrior,"_  she thought to herself. Dr. Smith's cryotube contained a man of Hispanic heritage.

Ensuring that the two sleeping individuals were stable after the move, Catherine took her leave to go and do her daily check on John. Although she had kept her distance recently, she felt excited and found herself anxious to tell him about their new assignment. "Good morning, John," she slightly smiled after he had given her permission to enter his lab.

"Good morning," he flipped up the welding mask he was wearing before taking it off.

"What time did you start your work this morning? You look like you've been hard at it for a few hours already."

"I did not go home yet."

"You've been up all night? You're going to work yourself to death!" she sighed.

"I'm fine," he insisted before his stomach growled loudly.

"When was the last time you had something to eat?" she put her hand on her hip.

"Truthfully?"

"Yes, please be honest with me."

"I do not remember."

"John!" she put a hand to her forehead. "Sit down, I'm going to get you some breakfast," she instructed before walking out of the lab. She soon returned from the cafeteria with a tray full of food and a large cup of fresh Darjeeling. "I'm going to sit here and watch you eat everything on this tray," she threatened.

"As you wish," he sat down and started to eat some oatmeal.

"We'll have to get together and train again sometime," she commented as she watched him eat.

"Yes, we should, as long as your wrist is better."

"Oh, it's fine, good as new," she felt awkward and decided to change the subject. "So, what have you been working on?"

"Much of the same."

"I see." Sensing that he was not in a mood for chitchat, she sat quietly making sure he finished his meal. As he got close to finishing, she got up to start her scans. "Your heart rate and blood pressure are a bit high today. I'm detecting high levels of adrenaline. Are you feeling alright?"

"I'm fine," he lied as he got up to continue his work.

Following him, she pressed further, "John, you need to take better care of your health. I think you are experiencing too much stress and overworking yourself. Are you absolutely certain you feel fine? If Admiral Marcus is insisting you work like this, I can put in a word for you."

"Damn it, woman!" he snapped at the mention of Marcus and slammed his fist into a glass case covering a model of a ship startling Catherine. The glass shattered and blood began to drip from his clenched fist.

"John!" Catherine ran to his side and gently took hold of his forearm. "Come on, we need to get you back to the lab so I can tend to your hand."

"I'm sorry, Catherine," he apologized for his outburst. "No, please, it is not necessary. Here, I'll just clean it up myself," he went to a sink and began to rinse the blood off.

"No, there are shards of glass embedded in the tissue. Please, come with me. Let me help you," she gently put her hand on his shoulder. She felt him slightly shudder at her touch before he turned to look at her.

John left his hand under the running water as he turned and gazed into her eyes. Studying her countenance for a moment, he finally conceded. "Very well," he turned off the faucet as Catherine shrugged off her lab coat and gently wrapped it over his hand to keep it from dripping blood all over the floor on their way back to the cryogenics lab. "You're going to ruin your coat," he noted as she led him down the hallway.

"Getting the blood out should not be a problem, but if it is unsalvageable, I have plenty more." Arriving to the lab, she led him to the infirmary and had him sit on the biobed with his hand resting on a bedside table.

"Are you sure you can handle this? I thought only doctors could provide care for wounds such as this."

"John, all nurses are qualified to handle basic wound care like this. Have you been living under a rock?" she smiled wistfully as she got out her equipment.

After attaching an ampule of analgesic to a hypospray, she injected the medication into his hand near the open wounds. The worst of the bleeding having stopped, she gently began to extract the shards of glass from his knuckles holding pressure on new areas of bleeding as they arose. Performing a scan to ensure that all of the glass was removed, she then gently cleaned the wounds before using an autosuture device to close the open cuts.

"Your skin is going to be rather fragile the next couple of days, so you may reopen the cuts if you are not careful," she explained as she gently rubbed a growth stimulating cream on his newly repaired hand. "Would it help you to remember to be careful if I wrapped your hand?"

"That may be a good idea," he sighed.

"I was thinking," she sensed that he was relaxed and calm as she started to wrap his hand with some gauze, "that it might be good for you to get away from your lab for a little while."

"I have critical deadlines to meet," he started to protest.

"I understand that, John. It would not have to be a long time, just a couple of hours."

"What do you suggest?"

"Well, I was thinking that maybe we could go out for something to eat tomorrow night. I really have been craving Indian food and was hoping you could show me a good place to go. We could see if Dr. Smith wanted to go, too, that is, if it would make you more comfortable," she lightly blushed.

"No."

"Oh, it's okay, I understand," she frowned embarrassed at being rejected.

"No, I'm sorry. What I mean is that we do not have to have Dr. Smith come along. I would be happy to show you my favorite Indian restaurant," the corner of his mouth lifted in a small smile.

"Thank you!" she smiled as she finished wrapping his hand. "Oh, I almost forgot! Admiral Marcus has us starting the second phase of our cryogenics project. You have to see this!" she took his uninjured hand in her own and gently pulled him off the biobed, out of the infirmary, and down the hallway. Entering her security code, the doors to the lab containing the two occupied cryotubes swooshed open. "You were only asleep for two months, but this man and woman have been asleep for around 300 years. Isn't it amazing?" she beamed.

John pulled his hand out of her gentle grasp and walked closer to the cryotubes. He stopped and studied the occupant of one cryotube before studying the other. With his back to Catherine, standing in between the two cryotubes and placing a hand on each, he bowed his head in silence. She could sense rage building inside of him, but she could not understand what was causing him to be so angry.

"John, what's wrong?" she asked quietly.

"This is wrong!" he shouted as he turned to face her with his eyes full of fury. "They shouldn't even be here!"

"We're not doing anything harmful to them. We're monitoring them and trying to find the most harmless way to reanimate them. They're safe with us," she tried to explain.

"How long, though, until Admiral Marcus orders you to do more? They are vulnerable in this state, and he could ask you to do anything to them in the name of science!"

"I wouldn't do anything to hurt them, and I wouldn't dream of allowing someone to treat them as animals either!"

"How do I know that?"

"John, don't you trust me?"

"You're just one of Marcus' puppets after all!" he fumed before storming out of the lab.

"No, John, please don't go!"she called after him as she started to cry, but her plea was too late as he was already gone.  _"He is so unstable, but I do not sense that this is his true nature. Something is wrong. Why would be so angry over a couple of strangers? Should I tell Admiral Marcus?"_


	10. Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: On a roll this weekend. Glad I was able to bang this one out before starting the work week again or it would have been driving me nuts all week! There's a couple tiny Sherlock references. One is a character quote, and the other is an indirect reference to a certain article of clothing notorious among the Sherlock fandom. If you can find them, kudos to you! Enjoy! :)
> 
> Listening track selections: "Already Over" and "Best Is Yet to Come" by Red

Storming out of the cryogenics lab, John returned to his personal lab and went to his view screen. Pressing a couple commands into the control panel to establish a comm link, a young man appeared on the screen. Reigning in his rage, John calmly addressed the ensign, "This is Commander Harrison in London. Please inform Admiral Marcus that I must speak with him immediately. It is urgent."

"I'm sorry, but I think he is in a meeting wi-"

"This is official Section 31 business," John interrupted him.

"Oh, I see, Commander, I will notify him immediately."

John tapped his fingers impatiently against the wall waiting for Marcus to respond. "What do you want?" the older gruff man appeared on the view screen.

"You bastard! What the hell are they doing in that lab?" John roared.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You know full well what I'm talking about!"

"Fine, I give in," he rolled his eyes. "I only wanted to make a move to stir the pot. Just wanted to remind you of what is on the line. For now, they're safe, but don't think for a moment that I can't order their deaths and make it look like some kind of accident."

"I swear, if anything happens to them, know that if you're lying to me, I will find you, and I will skin you! I will burn the heart out of you!"

"And what about your little girlfriend? You know, I've got her wrapped around my little finger. If you make a single mistake, she's going to tell me."

"Catherine?"

"On a first name basis, are we? Yes, Lieutenant Troi."

"Leave her out of this. She hasn't done anything wrong. And, she is not my  _girlfriend_ ," he emphasized the word somewhat foreign to his lips.

"Well, I have CCTV footage that does suggest a certain degree of intimacy between the two of you. Anyways, I hand-picked her for the job. I know she would blindly follow my orders."

"Are you willing to bet your life on that?" John glared.

"Yes, and I'm willing to bet their lives on it, too," Marcus smiled with an evil gleam in his eye. "Talk to you later, you son of a bitch," he severed the comm link.

John pounded his uninjured hand on the countertop before sinking onto a stool and weeping. After calming himself down and wiping the tears off his face with the back of his bandaged hand, he picked up his PADD and typed a message to Catherine.

" _Once again I find myself apologizing to you. Catherine, I'm sorry for my behavior towards you earlier. And I do trust you. Completely. I have been under much stress lately, but it is no excuse for my unstable behavior. I must admit, though, that I find your company to be quite soothing, and if you are still agreeable to it, I would greatly enjoy taking you to my favorite local Indian restaurant tomorrow night. My treat for all of the trouble you put yourself through to put up with me. – John."_

Finishing his message and sending it, he put his head in his hands,  _"What am I doing?"_

After John had left the cryogenics lab and left Catherine in tears, not wanting Dr. Smith to find her in such a state, she went and hid herself in the small room in which she had stayed while John was an inpatient.  _"What is wrong with me?"_ she wept as she got onto the bed.  _"Why do his actions hurt me? Why do I have to care so much? How can I carry out Admiral Marcus' orders when I cannot even fully read or understand John's emotions? And why do I have such a hard time with that?"_ Curling up a bit tighter into a ball on the bed, she was suddenly enlightened to her problem.  _"I love him. I love John,"_ she stopped sobbing.

Sitting up on the side of the bed, Catherine wiped the tears off of her cheeks.  _"It all makes sense now. How could I be such a fool? Why else would I be so torn between John's actions towards me and Admiral Marcus' orders? My own internal battles are clouding my ability to read the emotions of those around me especially John's. And if I'm going to be able to function and carry out my job, I need to choose,"_  she sighed.

" _Will you follow your head or your heart?"_  she remembered John's words to her.

" _I have always followed my head. It has always been the safest choice, but where has it gotten me? Maybe this time, even though everything in my head is screaming not to do it, I will choose my heart. My mind is shouting that there is no reason that I should love John. How many times has he almost killed me now? But he was always been there to pick up the pieces. And I know within the depths of my heart that he would never let anything happen to me. He saved my life that night, after all. And when I catch him off guard, he is so kind and tender. Maybe in order to tear down his barriers, I need to tear down my own first. No more questioning him. No more doubting him. I need to just love him and be there for him. Even if he does not necessarily return those sentiments. I choose my heart,"_  she resolved.

After freshening up in the bathroom, Catherine returned to the lab to check on the cryotubes. As she scanned the sleeping occupants, she wondered again what had made John so upset.  _"I wonder what their names are. Where are they from? Why did they choose this? Did they have friends? Did they have lovers?"_  she thought to herself as she worked. She then experienced another revelation.  _"Wow, I'm on a roll today,"_ she thought.  _"This is why he's so upset. They're people, not just test subjects or relics from a time long past. They have hopes, dreams, and fears just as we do. They have family. John truly has such a beautiful heart to even recognize this before myself. Why does he try to hide that?"_

Finishing her scans, Catherine returned to the main room of the cryogenics lab where she had left her PADD sitting on the countertop. Picking it up, she noticed that there was a text message waiting for her. She was expecting a message from Janice or her parents, but to her shock, it was from John. Reading his apology and his offer to take her out to dinner, she felt her insides flutter and felt reassured that she had made the right decision to follow her heart.  _"No matter what he feels towards me, I need to be good to him,"_  she resolved.  _"He needs a friend to look out for him."_

She sat down and started to type a response to his offer.  _"John, I forgive you. You have been under so much stress. We both have. Getting out of this hole in the ground and into the real world for a couple of hours will be good for both of us. I am sorry if I am too overbearing sometimes. I just worry so much about you. Please forgive me for being a nag. I also find that I enjoy your company, and I cannot wait to have a good dish of chicken tikka masala. What should I wear?"_ she sent the message.

John was working on a prototype photon torpedo when he heard his PADD alert him to an incoming message. Reading the message from Catherine, he found himself smiling. Although he had smiled many times since being reanimated, he realized that this was the first time he truly had completely and fully smiled. Despite his physical strength, he found his cheeks even hurting a little from lack of using the muscles needed to form a smile.

He started to type a response,  _"No need to apologize. You are a very caring person, and I appreciate that you care for me more than I care for myself."_ He thought briefly about how to answer her question concerning her attire for their evening out and suddenly realized that he was completely ignorant in regards to what was appropriate or popular ladies attire in recent months. Struck with a sudden idea, he continued typing,  _"I will meet you at your quarters tomorrow night at 1900. Regarding your attire, do not concern yourself with that. Expect a delivery to your quarters by tomorrow afternoon. I hope you like it."_

Sending the message, he sat back in his chair and ran a hand through his dark hair.  _"I am such a hypocrite. I cannot treat her as a potential puppet to do my bidding any longer. It would dehumanize her and put me on the same level as Admiral Marcus. It would be no different than me putting her in a cryotube and experimenting on her. So much for my superior intellect,"_ he sighed.  _"She has been nothing but good to me. And to them,"_ he thought about the sleeping figures nestled in their cryotubes in her lab.  _"She never ceases to show me that she is a superior woman. And now I need to treat her as superior. I must protect her from Marcus. And, someday, if I sense that the time is right and that she might want to willingly help me and my cause, I will tell her my story. I will not otherwise put her in harm's way or in between Marcus and myself,"_ he silently resolved feeling remorseful for his previous motives towards her. He then picked up his PADD again,  _"Looks like I have some shopping to do."_

Catherine was a bit surprised at how quickly she received John's reply.  _"See you tomorrow night,"_ she messaged back. She wondered what would be awaiting her in the package he was sending and could not help but feel excited despite a little concern. She finished up her work for the day and headed home glad that it was Friday and that for once she actually had something good to look forward to on a Saturday evening.

After having something to eat and putting on her pajamas, Catherine sat at her desk and tried to get in touch with Janice. "Must be out tonight," she thought aloud finding she was unable to establish a comm link. Snuggling on her couch with her PADD, she sent Janice a text message.

" _I miss you so much! This Torchwood stuff is so crazy. I really miss having a good girlfriend to chat with about my troubles. We really need to catch up sometime. Hear anything about the yeoman position yet? I hope it works out for you! I don't think it's appropriate to call it a date, but I'm going out to eat tomorrow night with Harkness. I really do have feelings for him, but if he does not feel the same way, I am okay with just being friends. He works so hard. We both are a bit stressed out lately, so it'll be good for both of us to get out. When I get a chance, I'll let you know how things go. Hope all is well! – Catherine"_

Catherine slept in Saturday morning on purpose as she knew she would be anxious all day awaiting the arrival of John's package and their meal together later that evening. She received a reply from Janice around lunchtime.

" _Hi Cath, sorry I missed you! I was out late last night helping my brother move in at the Academy. It's hard to believe my baby brother is old enough to join Starfleet! I still haven't heard anything about that yeoman position. It's still posted, though, so the position hasn't been filled yet. I'm starting to wonder if I should start putting in applications for other positions, though. I'm getting so bored working at the conservatory! Botany is definitely hobby worthy, but I just can't do it everyday as a job. Tell me how things go with Harkness. I truly hope this works out for you. You deserve the best, and if he breaks your heart, I will personally castrate him! – Jan"_

Catherine smiled as she finished reading Janice's message. Putting down her PADD, the door chimes for her quarters went off. She jumped up and ran to her door. Opening the door, she was greeted by a deliveryman. "Catherine Troi?" he asked.

"Yes," she smiled.

"Please sign here," he held up a PADD and handed her a stylus. "Here you go," he handed her a slim box after she signed her name.

"Thanks!" she eagerly grabbed the box and ran inside and putting it on her coffee table. She pulled the small tag off the box that had a small digital message on it, which read,  _"I hope it pleases you. – John."_  She pulled off the box lid and pushed away the tissue paper to be greeted with royal blue material embroidered with gold thread. She pulled the garment out of the box to discover that it was in fact a sari. In the bottom of the box was a pair of matching shoes. "It's beautiful," she gasped out loud. She ran to her bedroom mirror and held the garment up over her body. Smiling, she lad the sari on her bed and ran to her PADD.

" _It is beautiful, John. How can I ever thank you? – Catherine."_

" _Your company will be adequate. See you tonight. – John."_

Later that afternoon, Catherine got ready and eagerly awaited his arrival. True to his word, John arrived on time and pressed the button to signal her door chime. Catherine stopped to look in a mirror quickly making sure everything was in place before running to the door to let him inside. She was expecting him to be in his usual black Starfleet issue clothing, but she was surprised as the door opened to find him in a deep purple sherwani with light threads of intricate gold embroidery around the edges.

"John," she gaped, "you look so handsome."

He could not help but smile at her reaction. Taking her hand, he gently placed a kiss on the back of it. "Do you like your sari?"

"I love it. Thank you!"

"You look beautiful. I was worried that you would not like it."

"We won't be overdressed, will we?" she smiled.

"No, my favorite Indian restaurant here happens to also be the top one in London, so I figured we should not hold back on our attire. They have some of the best Western Indian dishes and make the closest thing I have found to authentic Indian cuisine outside of the Indian subcontinent," he offered her his arm.

"Have you been to that region often?" she asked taking his arm and walking down the hall.

"Oh, yes, many times."

Catching a shuttle and arriving at their destination, John led Catherine inside the restaurant. John gave the host his name to verify their reservations. The host then led them to a table. John pulled out Catherine's seat and had her sit before sitting down across from her.

"Thank you again for all of this," she smiled. "I only ask one thing."

"Anything," he smiled.

"We both need to agree not discuss work as the whole point of us going out tonight was to get away from it all," she smiled.

"I agree," he held out his hand to shake and seal their deal. Catherine was surprised to find that the menu was written in Devanagari and that their waiter spoke Hindi. She went to pull out her communicator out of her satchel to use its universal translator application, but John stopped her. "I will order for you," he insisted. In fluent Hindi, he placed an order for chicken tikka masala for her, and although he enjoyed the authentic dishes, he was in the mood for something extra spicy and ordered the British Indian dish phaal for himself.

"When did you find the time to learn Hindi?"

"I only said that I've been to India many times, but I did not indicate how long I was there during those visits," he grinned proudly.

"You are a mystery to me, John," she shook her head and smiled back. "So, outside of work, we clearly do not know each other," she admitted before sipping her wine. "Do you have any hobbies?"

"I suppose you can say I'm old-fashioned. I enjoy reading classic novels. I also enjoy old music, television shows, and movies."

"Who are some of your favorite authors?"

"Shakespeare, Milton, Dickens, Hardy," he spouted off.

"Oh, I love all of them, too," she smiled and paused. "Please forgive me if I am being too bold, but how are you feeling, John? And I mean emotionally. Please be honest," she leaned forward and placed her hand on top of his where it rested on the table.

John looked down swirling the brandy in his glass with his free hand. "Not as well as I would like," he admitted frowning.

"I know we do not know each other very well outside of our work together, but if it helps you feel better, I want you to know that you have a truly beautiful heart, John. Underneath your cold exterior, you are so kind-hearted. You truly care about those that are defenseless."

"Thank you, Catherine," he thanked her as she thought she almost caught sight of a tear forming in one of his eyes. "You are so steadfast, so gentle. How is it that you are alone?" he asked as he put his brandy down and took hold of the hand that she had placed over his own.

"I have not had much luck in that area," she frowned and quickly picked up her wine glass to take a drink.

"But you are a superior woman. Any man would be lucky to have you at their side," he looked into her eyes.

"I'm always just a friend, though. No one's ever interested," she sighed trying to hold back tears.

"You are amazing, Catherine. Do not doubt yourself. You did singlehandedly, after all, conquer El Capitan," he gently smiled and squeezed her hand just as their waiter brought them their meals.

"I suppose you're right," she forced herself to smile. "If I can conquer El Capitan, I can conquer any man's heart."

The pair ate quietly stopping at times to note how they were enjoying their meals, to whisper gossip about the other patrons making each other laugh, and to try not to burst out laughing loudly as they watched a Vulcan trying a dish of curry apparently for the first time. Catherine found herself humored that John did not even break a sweat while eating his phaal, a notoriously spicy food. Just as they were wrapping up their meal, a man stopped at their table. They heard him clearing his throat to get their attention. The pair looked up.

"Admiral Marcus," Catherine stood up quickly. "What are you doing here, sir?"

"No, sit down, you're off duty at the moment," Marcus insisted. "Harrison," he turned and glared at John.

"Admiral Marcus," John stood up and nodded his exterior growing cold again. Catherine sensed all of John's relaxation leaving his body as tension and anger quickly replaced any feelings of enjoyment that he had been experiencing.

"Sit down, son," Marcus scowled. "How are those torpedoes coming along?"

"They will be done by your deadline, sir," he rumbled after taking his seat.

"Good, I expect these ones to work this time. Enjoy your evening," he sneered at John before turning to Catherine, "Have a good night."

John sat squeezing his fork in his hand, his knuckles turning white. With his other hand, he picked up his brandy and quickly emptied the glass. Catherine frowned seeing how Marcus disturbed John and quickly surmised that he was the cause of all if not most of John's stress. "John?" she asked. "John," she reached her leg under the table and lightly touched his ankle with her foot to draw his attention back to her.

"Huh?" he looked up at her dropping the fork.

"You've bent your fork," her eyes grew wide.

"Oh, yes I have," he picked it up quickly bent it back to its original shape before placing it back on the table.

"Why don't we pay the bill and get out of here?" she suggested. "We could go for a walk and get some fresh air."

"Right, let's get the hell out of here."

After John took care of their bill, the pair made their way to Hampstead Heath. John knowingly put his coat over Catherine's shoulders observing that she was chilled. Finding a bench, they sat together.

"Does he always treat you like that?"

"Admiral Marcus? Yes," he looked away not wanting to give away any emotions.

"The more I learn about him, the less I like him. I love my job, but I don't like having to work for him either. When I saw how he spoke to you at the restaurant, I sort of wanted to kick him in the gonads," she admitted.

"Really?" John turned to look at her amused.

"I've never admitted this to anyone, but he creeps me out. I always feel like he's lying to me, like he's using me. It makes me feel so dirty. No wonder you feel so anxious and stressed out all the time, John," she reached over and gently stroked his cheek.

"It's so hard sometimes, Catherine. It's bad enough that there are other people's lives at risk, but with the added pressure he puts on me, it feels like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. And, I'm so alone. If only," he paused and took a deep breath, "if only I had someone to help me bear those burdens."

"Oh John," she picked up his hand and kissed it before holding it to her cheek. "If you would only let me, I could help you bear the pain. I know you have secrets that you cannot tell me, just as there are things I cannot tell you, but just let me help you. I cannot bear seeing you in such pain all the time. Please, John," she pleaded as a tear dripped down onto his hand.

"I wish I could, Catherine," he wiped the tear from her cheek. "I'm not sure I can. I would never forgive myself if you got hurt. It would kill me if Marcus did something to you because of me."

"Is it really that bad? Are you really in that deep?" she sniffled.

"You have no idea, dear one," he gently stroked her hair out of her face. "But, maybe someday, I truly hope that I can tell you everything. I will tell you something, though, if you want to know."

"Yes, you can tell me anything."

"The pure thought of it now makes me want to vomit, but I meant to use you against Admiral Marcus. I wanted to manipulate you so you would do my every whim."

"That's what you meant when you said you had to break me."

"Yes, and I'm so ashamed."

"You did break me, John, but it backfired."

"What?"

"I really would do anything for you and willingly, but not because you made me that way. It is because I care about you, very deeply."

"I do not think I have ever felt this way about anyone before. I honestly do not know or understand what the nature of my feelings are for you, but I do care for you, too."

"It is alright, John. We have not known each other very long. You do not have to sort all of this out right now. Just know that if anything, I am your friend, and I will always be there for you."

"Thank you, Catherine. For now, I want to be very careful because of Marcus. So, if I seem to be distancing myself from you, this is why. Would you like to get an ice cream?" he asked suddenly.

"Sure," she laughed.

Late that evening, John walked Catherine back to her quarters. She welcomed him inside the doorway so they could say their goodnights away from prying eyes.

"I hope you enjoyed yourself even if Marcus ruined our dinner."

"I had a lovely time, John," she smiled as she shrugged his coat off of her shoulders and put it on him.

"What I said earlier, about someday, truly hoping that I can tell you everything, I meant every word."

"I know you did, John. If that day comes, I will be waiting," she reached up and gently pulled him towards her placing a chaste kiss on his lips. "You taste like ice cream," she laughed.

"You do, too," he grinned.

"Goodnight, John Harrison," she gently stroked his cheek.

"Goodnight, Catherine Troi," he leaned in and kissed her gently on the cheek before leaving.

" _Admiral Marcus is a lying bastard,"_  she thought as the door swooshed shut behind him. She walked to the door and placed her hand on it.  _"I can finally fully sense John's feelings. And he did not speak a single lie tonight. He does care very deeply for me. He is confused, too, just as he said. It is fine, though. I will give him the time he needs to decide. I only hope that one day we will both be free of Marcus and his tyranny as I feel that he is the cause of John's uncertainty,"_ she gently touched her cheek where John had kissed her.  _"I truly hope the best is yet to come."_


	11. Blooming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listening track selection: "Rose's Theme" by Murray Gold

Catherine awoke the next morning feeling as if she had been living in a dream the night before. In fact, she wondered if things truly were too good to be true, but as she rolled over and saw her sari draped on her desk chair, she smiled to herself and sighed happily. Sitting up in bed, she picked up her PADD off of the nightstand and saw she had a message waiting for her.

" _Good morning. Check outside your front door. – John."_

Arching a brow out of curiosity, Catherine stretched before sliding into her slippers and heading to the front door of her quarters. Opening the door, she found a single rose with a red ribbon tied around it and a card in an envelope addressed to her sitting on the floor. She picked them up and headed to her couch. Sliding open the envelope, she pulled out the card and thought fondly, _"No one ever really handwrites cards and letters anymore."_

" _Dearest Catherine, thank you for accompanying me to dinner last night. I have never enjoyed the company of a woman as much as I did last night with you. For the first time in a long while, I do not feel completely and utterly alone. You are an angel. Please accept this rose as a token of my gratitude for your companionship. – John_

_P.S. I have thought much about this, and if we are going to continue seeing one another, even if only as friends, perhaps it might be best to correspond in this fashion. And, although I know our correspondence may be sentimental to you, it probably is best to destroy them once read. I do not want Marcus to intercept our messages to each other via our PADDs, and if something were to happen, I do not want a paper trail leading him or whoever may intend to harm me back to you. Let me know what you think."_

Catherine smiled and could not help but smell the card catching a whiff of John's cologne. He usually did not wear any but had done so the night before. She ran to her bedroom to get her PADD and let him know her decision on the matter.

" _John, I agree with you. Will do so immediately. This message will self-destruct. Not really, but you know what I mean. – Catherine."_

He quickly replied.  _"You made me smile. – John."_

Glad that John got her joke, she ran to her bedroom closet and started rooting around in unpacked boxes from her move to London from San Francisco. "Yes!" she thought aloud upon finding a small box of stationery, envelopes, and a couple of ink pens. Sitting down at her desk, she began to write to John.

" _John, thank you for the rose. It is beautiful, just like your heart. You can come to me any time. I cannot bear the thought of you being without someone to care for you. My lonely angel… - Catherine."_

Finishing her brief letter to John, she put it in an envelope and sealed it. Taking his card to the kitchen, she briefly sentimentally clutched it tightly to her chest, read it again, and gently ran her fingertips over John's handwriting before turning on her stove and holding the card over the blue flame. The paper quickly caught fire, and Catherine put it in the sink to keep the flames safely contained. The card was quickly consumed, and she washed the ashes down the sink grateful that her smoke alarm did not activate.

Catherine understood John's reasoning behind them destroying their correspondence to each other, but she couldn't help but to feel a little saddened by their situation.  _"I feel like we are trapped. I hope that someday we can get away from Marcus. If only I could whisk John away from all of this,"_ she reflected before typing up a couple of messages to Janice and her parents to let them know how she was doing.

Monday morning, Catherine smiled as she walked into John's lab and slid the envelope containing her note to him in front of him on top of the design he was studying. Upon seeing his name on the envelope, he smiled and picked it up enjoying the feel of the paper underneath his fingertips.

"I burned your card," Catherine reported. "It makes me sad, but I agree with you. For now, we need to keep things quiet."

"I'm sorry that it has to be this way," he apologized before placing a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"It's not your fault," she reassured him tenderly rubbing his shoulder. "More and more I know that Marcus is a despot. I cannot imagine how you have worked under him for so long. Well, enough of this grim talk. I want you to have this," she held up a potted plant in bloom. "It's native to the planet Betazed. It does need sunlight, so you should take it back to your quarters."

"It's lovely, just like you," he smiled. "It will make my quarters more homelike."

"I'll be back later this morning to do my scans," she smiled back and left.

Just as she stated, Catherine returned to John's lab later that morning. As she walked in, she saw that he was reading her note to him. He held it up showing he had read it, "I may be sided with an angel, you, but do not think that I am one. You yourself have seen how savage I can be."

"Yet, you are only savage when it is necessary. Any other time, you are gentle and kind. When you killed those men in the alleyway, it was to save my life. And, it was because you couldn't bear the thought of someone harming me."

"You read me so well. And I thought I was going to master you, not the other way around. Yes, even though that entire day I was trying to break you down physically in order to win you over, when I saw you in true danger, I suppose I started to realize how precious you had become to me even though at the time I did not understand it that way. I also started to realize that I did not want to be alone anymore."

"John, before we met, did you really have no one?"

"I have been alone for quite some time now. My family," he paused frowning, "my friends, they were all taken from me far too soon."

"You were on Tarsus IV. How horrible, Governor Kodos ordering the massacre of thousands. I'm so sorry. You never really recovered, did you?"

"No, I suppose not. I have you now, though, do I not?"

"Always, John," she tenderly stroked the back of his hand. "I'm going to perform my scans now, okay?" John nodded.

" _Not Kodos. The Eugenics Wars and Marcus, they took all that I loved away from me,"_ he thought to himself.

"Did you say something?" Catherine asked.

"Huh? No, I didn't say anything."

"Oh, okay," Catherine pulled out her tricorder and medical scanner and began monitoring his vital signs as she had been doing for many days now.  _"I swear he said something. Eugenics Wars?"_  Catherine thought to herself as she started scanning him.

John sat down on his stool to examine the designs for the photon torpedoes he had been constantly working on for days. She paused as he leaned his elbow on the counter and cradled his head in his hand wincing ever so slightly.

"John, how long have you been having these headaches?"

"I'm fine. It's just from the stress." She crossed her arms and glared at him. Feeling her gaze boring into him, he admitted, "Ever since I was reanimated. They were very mild initially, and I ignored them as I thought it was temporary and they would gradually improve. Unfortunately, they have only been increasing in intensity and frequency. I have a high pain tolerance which is probably why you have not noticed until now."

"Dr. Smith needs to run some scans on you just to make sure there are no underlying pathologies. Given your history of post-neural shock syndrome, though, you most likely just need some amantadine to help with the cognitive fatigue you've been experiencing. We would usually recommend rest, but we know that is not really an option for you. And, if you don't mind, I'm going to ask Dr. Smith if we can start giving you something to take the edge off of the stress and anxiety you're having."

"Very well, let's go see our dear doctor," he scooted off the stool and went with Catherine to the cryogenics lab.

After the pair arrived and Catherine explained her concerns to Dr. Smith, the doctor had John get on a biobed so he could perform some diagnostic scanning. Quickly performing scans of John's brain, Dr. Smith made the same conclusion as Catherine.

"Unfortunately, it appears that you've exacerbated the symptoms of the post-neural shock syndrome. Much like a concussion, stress and fatigue can trigger headaches with this condition. We all three know that rest is not an option for you right now. Your otherwise excellent health and physical fitness do help and are in your favor, and I agree with Catherine in that starting you on amantadine would be helpful. An anxiolytic medication will also help. And when you can, try to take it easy on yourself. Pushing yourself too hard only makes it worse and will cause the symptoms to last longer. I'll write the orders. Take the amantadine at breakfast and lunchtime. Catherine will give you the anxiolytic as needed when her scans indicate your vital signs are elevated. I would like you to come back here in ten to fourteen days to see how you are doing."

"Very well, and thank you," John nodded in agreement with Dr. Smith's treatment plan.

"Nurse, go ahead and give him a headache cocktail to break the cycle and give him some relief until the amantadine starts to take effect. You can give the cocktail again to him in the future if he has any severe headaches," Dr. Smith instructed her.

"Sure. Wait here, John," she went to mix up a hypospray. Returning she injected him in the neck. "Diphenhydramine, prochlorperazine, and ketorolac. Very old combination, but tried and true," she explained. "You should start to feel better in thirty to sixty minutes," she gently squeezed his hand. "I'll come and check on you then."

"You know where to find me," John slid off the biobed and made his way out of the infirmary to leave the lab and return to his own. Before he got to the door, he overheard Dr. Smith.

"Nurse Troi, Admiral Marcus wants you to talk to him in an hour. He would like a thorough report of Commander Harrison's status since we reanimated him and his progress to date."

"Really? Great, I guess I better gather my notes and reports," she sighed. "He could have given me more of a heads up. I guess I'll have to check on Commander Harrison after that."

"Sorry," Dr. Smith apologized. "I wish I could help, but I myself have to head to Paris to meet with Dr. Zineeri," he cringed. "He gives me the creeps. I guess it's that Denobulan smile." John dashed out of the lab hearing Dr. Smith approaching.

Catherine scrambled to collect and organize her notes on her PADD for her report to Admiral Marcus.  _"Not looking forward to this,"_  she thought as her hands started to shake ever so slightly as she became nervous.  _"Feel like I'm getting ready to be interrogated."_

At the appointed time, she sat in the small conference room and established the comm link with Admiral Marcus who was in his office in San Francisco at Starfleet Academy. "Good afternoon, Lieutenant. Sorry for the short notice. I guess I'm not very good at giving you adequate time to prepare," he tried to joke remembering how short of a time period he gave her to decide whether or not to accept the position in the first place.

"Well, I'll do my best," she replied.

"Good, go ahead and begin."

"Commander Harrison has proven to be quite remarkable in his progress since reanimation. Upon reawakening, he quick-"

"Okay, let me cut you off," he interrupted. "I know full well how he is doing physically. I want to know, how is he psychologically?"

"Well, initially he was rather unstable. His affect was flat, mood labile. He would be fine one moment and aggressive the next. He was always able to calm himself down. He's improved very much with the aggression. Also, I have sensed no intent to harm anyone."

"Then what about the dead men in the alley?"

Catherine felt sick to her stomach, "Sir?"

"You were there. What happened? We can't have it getting out that one of our agents is out murdering people!"

"It was late. Commander Harrison and I were doing physical training all day. I was exhausted physically and emotionally. He asked if I wanted him to walk me home. I was angry with him and refused. I decided to take a shortcut through the alley, but I did not suspect that it was dangerous. Those men, they were going to rape me, possibly even murder me. John, I mean, Commander Harrison, saved my life."

"I see. Well, I suppose that is an adequate explanation, Lieutenant Troi. Be more careful next time."

"I'm sorry. I hope I haven't caused you or him any trouble," she apologized her face burning red.

"No, we'll get it sorted out."

"Sir, permission to speak freely?" she blurted out surprised with herself as she was usually quiet and meek with people in authority.

"Granted," Marcus smiled amused at her request.

"Sir, I am very worried about Commander Harrison. He is constantly working. He is exhausted. He forgets to eat. He hardly sleeps. He is starting to experience headaches again from exacerbating the post-neural shock syndrome. As one of his medical providers, I am asking you to please, for God's sake, lay off of him for a while. He is under so much stress due to your insane deadlines!" she started to become angry. "Just, leave him alone!"

"Quite frankly, my dear, his work and my demands are none of your business. Are you forgetting that lives are at stake here?" Marcus growled angry about her challenging hm.

"And what about John's life? Doesn't he matter? He's human, too, you know!"

"He's an animal!" Marcus paused before concluding, "Oh, I see where this is going. You've developed a fondness for him, haven't you? Why else would you call him by his first name?"

"And what if I have?"

"You better just get it out of your head now, Lieutenant. He belongs to me."

"He belongs to no one! Don't you get it?"

"Even if he did return your feelings, he'll just turn around and destroy you. He's a ticking time bomb. I thought that by now you'd realize that. Now, that's enough of this foolishness! I do not want to hear about any of this again. You forget your place, Lieutenant Troi. You better stay focused on your assignment, miss, or I'll pull you off the project faster than you can bat an eye!" he pointed at her before the screen went blank.

"Damn you!" she whispered under her breath.

"Thank you, Catherine," she jumped hearing a voice behind her causing her to swivel around in her seat to see John standing in the doorway.

"John, how much did you hear?"

"All of it," he smiled kneeling down to her level. "No one in Section 31 has ever stood up to Marcus on my behalf. Thank you," he leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek.  _"She would have made an excellent Khanum, a queen,"_  he thought.

"A what?" she said out loud.

"I didn't say anything," he looked at her confused.

"I think I'm starting to hear things," she laughed. "I really must be losing it. Hearing things, yelling at Marcus. What is this world coming to?"

"I don't know, but my world is all the brighter and more beautiful with you in it," he tucked a strand of stray hair that had fallen out of her pony-tail behind her ear.

"Oh, John," she blushed. "How are you feeling?"

"Much better, thanks to you."

"You would've kept putting up with those headaches if I had not said something, wouldn't you?"

"Yes, probably," he admitted with a sly smile.

The next morning, Catherine found a bouquet of exotic flowers sitting outside the door of her quarters. Picking up the accompanying card, she opened it and read,  _"These are Shirui lilies and Brahma Kamal flowers. Their soft beauty reminds me of you. – John."_

Catherine smiled, picked up the vase of flowers, and took it inside to put it on her coffee table. Sitting back with a cup of Earl Grey, she started to reflect on everything that had occurred recently.

"Wait a minute! How could I be so stupid," she sat up putting her mug down. "No, he can't be! Could he? It's impossible! Yet, it makes sense. Eugenics Wars, cryogenics, a love of Indian cuisine, reading and speaking Hindi, the sari and sherwani, a Khanum, the flowers native to India, his ability to heal quickly, his physical prowess."

She grabbed her PADD and pulled up John's medical profile to see if Dr. Smith's DNA analysis was finished yet. Seeing that the computer had actually just completed the analysis at 0233 that morning, she gasped reading the report.

" _DNA analysis complete. Human augment. Select strands of DNA have been resequenced enhancing subject's agility, strength, intelligence, senses, emotions, and immune system. Mal-formation in base-pair sequences regulating neurotransmitters suggests subject is prone to aggression, even violent behavior."_

Catherine ran to her desk and initiated a comm link tapping her fingers impatiently waiting for the person she was contacting to answer. A young woman with auburn hair wearing a red Starfleet uniform dress appeared on the screen.

"Marla?"

"Catherine, how are you? I haven't seen you since we graduated from Starfleet Academy!" the young woman replied.

"Where are you working?"

"New Delhi, why?"

"Um, well, do you have any leave time available?"

"Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"I'm in London. I really need to talk to you in person. I know we were never really close. Actually, we were pretty competitive during our time at the academy, but, I really need your help with something."

"Well, I could use a little break from things. I'll see what I can do and get back to you as soon as I can."

"Thank you, Marla."

"Anytime, Catherine," she smiled before the screen went black.

" _She can help me confirm my suspicions. I know Marcus has been hiding information from us, but John admitted he has his own secrets, too. Could he be who I think he is?"_


	12. Marla McGivers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you reviewers and followers! I hope you are enjoying this story. Things are starting to heat up. I definitely wanted to include Marla in my story. As much as I loved Into Darkness, I was a little disappointed that they didn't include her in some way. For my fellow Whovians, I included a modified a River Song quote. Kudos to those who can pick it out. :)
> 
> Listening track selection: "Out of Time" by Ben Foster and Murray Gold

Catherine quickly grew frustrated, as she did not hear from Marla at all as soon as she had hoped. Before she knew it, over three entire weeks had passed. She continued to catch herself thinking she could hear John's thoughts and started to wonder if she truly was losing her sanity as she only ever shared a telepathic link with her mother. Despite her apprehension, she continued to try to live life to the best of her ability given her and John's circumstances.

"Good morning," she smiled walking into his lab to perform her daily scans and to monitor if his headaches were improving.

"Ugh," he grunted as he fiddled away on the circuitry of a photon torpedo.

"Not a good morning, then?" she set a cup of hot Darjeeling beside him.

"I've had better," he frowned.

"I'm sorry. Anything I can do to help?"

"Could you just stay with me for a little while? We have both been very busy with our work. We do not get to see much of each other lately outside of your daily scans."

"Sure, I have some time to spare once I'm done. I can write my nursing notes here," she started scanning him per their usual routine. "How are the headaches?"

"At the moment, much improved thanks to your intervention."

"Good. Now if only the stress was better," she frowned. "Your blood pressure is up again. I'll give you a dose of medication for your anxiety."

As she used a hypospray to inject the anxiolytic medication into his neck, she could immediately see the tension in his shoulders relax. "Oh, Catherine," he exhaled. "Thank you."

"Better?'

"Much," he reached and took hold of her hand before placing a kiss on the back of it. "I almost forgot," he smiled suddenly. "I have a solution to our communication issue."

"Oh?"

"Here," he walked over to a locked cabinet. Punching in the combination to unlock it, he opened the door and pulled out a pair of communicators. "I programmed them myself. They are encrypted so that they can only communicate with each other. The likelihood that they can be tapped into by an outside signal is slim to none."

"John, this is excellent!" she took the communicator he handed her. "How did you find the time to come up with these?"

"I make time for that which is important to me. You are important to me, Catherine."

"Oh, John," she took his hand and led him back to his work taking a seat beside him to do her own.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No, I just don't know what to say," she blushed before awkwardly leaning over and placing a quick peck on his cheek.

"Sometimes words are inadequate," he turned on his stool to face her. "Sometimes, Catherine, actions speak louder than words," he gently put a hand on the back of her neck and pulled her close to him before kissing her on the lips.

Catherine at first was unsure what to do and tentatively put her hand on his chest. As he deepened the kiss, however, she soon found herself returning the kiss and her hand was playing with the hair on the nape of his neck. As she reached up with her other hand up to gently stroke his cheek, she suddenly lost her balance on the stool on which she was sitting and fell into John's arms with a slight yelp.

"Forgive me," he stabilized her and helped her back onto the stool. "I was too bold. I suppose I am overly accustomed to taking what I want. I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable."

"No, John," she sighed and leaned in towards him again, "it was lovely." She leaned in and cupping his cheeks with her hands started to tenderly kiss him again. As the passion of their kiss gradually increased, John tangled his fingers in her hair gently pulling some of it loose from her ponytail. Suddenly, Catherine's PADD beeped loudly startling both of them. "Oh heavens!" she gasped and put her hand over her heart. "That scared me to death," she and John started laughing.

"I suppose we should get back to work," he smiled affectionately.

"Yes, I believe you're right," she picked up her PADD to see what the alarm was about. "Hmm," she hummed as she read the message that created the alert.

"Something wrong?"

"Oh, no, it's just a message from one of my old classmates, Marla. She is going to be here in London giving a lecture, and she wants to meet and catch up."

"Well, that should be nice."

"Yes, I haven't seen her since we graduated from Starfleet Academy. Well, I should probably get back to the lab before Dr. Smith starts wondering what happened to me."

"You might want to fix your hair," John noted her hair was a bit of a mess from him playing with it as they kissed.

"Oh dear, you're right. Do you have a mirror handy?"

"No, but here, let me," he walked behind her and gently pulled out the hair band freeing the rest of her hair from the ponytail. Softly running his fingers through her brown curls to untangle them, he then pulled some of the hair away from her face and secured it with the hair band. "There. Soft, natural, simple, it is becoming on you this way."

"And it's still regulation. Not that it matters here," she smiled before side hugging him briefly and leaving. Upon returning to her lab, she reread Marla's message more thoroughly.

" _Catherine, I am so sorry to have kept you waiting for so long. There was a fire in our archives, and I've been working tirelessly to try to organize the cleanup and preservation efforts. Now that things are under control here, in a couple of weeks, I will be able to come to London to see you. I have a short lecture to give, but after that I'll be free. Besides, after this chaos, I'll definitely need some time off! Let me know if this works for you. – Marla."_

Catherine quickly typed out a reply,  _"That definitely will work for me. I'll have to work, but my evenings are free. Let me know a couple of days before you come so that we can make our plans to meet. – Catherine."_ She then went to the room containing the cryotubes to scan the two sleeping members of the  _Botany Bay_ crew. Dr. Smith walked in as she finished scanning the first subject.

"Lieutenant, are you wearing your hair differently?" he asked noting her hairstyle.

"It is still regulation, Dr. Smith," she smiled.

"Of course. So, how is Harrison today?"

"Stressed out as usual, but he reports his headaches have improved."

"Have they really? Has the amantadine really been effective?"

"Well," Catherine sighed, "no, I do not think he was being completely honest with me. I know he trusts me, or at least, I sense that he does, so I'm not sure why he isn't admitting that he's still suffering."

"Pride perhaps? I'm sure it took a lot for him to admit he was in pain in the first place."

"True, men," she paused, "no offense, Doctor."

"None taken."

"Men often do not always readily admit to having pain. Also, given his position, his background, I do not think he ever would want to admit to something that would make him look weak."

"Lieutenant, you have no idea how much I appreciate your insight. We were lucky that you applied for this position. I think sometimes it's easy for those of us in this field and especially in Section 31 to forget that our patients are people, and usually human, just like us. While I am not quite as guilty as Marcus in regards to mistreating Commander Harrison, I still have been guilty in the past of treating him as some kind of machine. You, however, with your abilities, have been able to see past his cold exterior and into his heart. Thank you, Catherine, for reminding me why I became a doctor in the first place," he looked at her earnestly. "You don't mind that I called you informally by your first name, do you?"

"No, that's quite alright. We work so closely together as colleagues, but I also feel that you, Luke, are a friend. And, thank you for your kind words for they have reaffirmed that my work here has been worth it. I still at times struggle with my doubts about our mission."

"I understand and feel the same. By the way, I'm sorry in that I completely forgot to tell you, but my DNA analysis of Commander Harrison finished up a few weeks ago."

"It's okay. I saw the results myself, and I'm not sure what to think. He's an Augment."

"Although I may seem a bit naïve and innocent, I do have friends in high places that owe me some favors. They've thoroughly looked through all of Section 31's top-secret medical files, and although in the past the organization has done some morally questionable research, they have never done any genetic experimentation that would correlate with creating augmented human beings."

"Then where did John come from?"

"I looked at his DNA a bit closer after seeing the results, and, Catherine, I don't think you're going to believe this."

"Tell me, Luke."

"As you know, at the end of our chromosomes, we have repeated sequences of DNA called telomeres. They do not code for anything and serve only as protection. As we age, our telomeres shorten. Commander Harrison's telomeres are entirely too short in order for him to be only 30 years old. It makes no sense whatsoever, but their length suggests that he is at least over 100 years old!"

"Actually, I am not surprised. I have a theory, but until I can confer with one of my friends to confirm it, I do not want to tell you just yet. And no, you're not crazy. I myself at times recently have wondered if I was going insane," she smiled.

Finally after weeks of anticipation on Catherine's behalf, Marla McGivers arrived in London. A couple of days into Marla's visit to London, after meeting Marla at her hotel, the two went to a local restaurant to catch up with each other.

"I didn't know you went back to school to Starfleet Medical to become a nurse," Marla smiled as they looked over the menu. "Do you enjoy it?"

"Even though it's not always easy, yes, I do enjoy it. I will always love history, though, and my love of history is part of why I need to speak with you so desperately."

"What's wrong, Catherine? I've never known you to look so worried."

"You specialized in the Eugenics Wars era, did you not?"

"Yes, I did my dissertation on the topic."

"Good, good. We'll have much to discuss, then, when we get back to my quarters. For now, let's just enjoy catching up with each other," Catherine smiled.

After enjoying a good meal, discussing memories of their time at Starfleet Academy, and updating each other on what they had been doing since they graduated, the two women returned to Catherine's quarters. After making Marla and herself some tea, Catherine had the historian sit on the couch with her.

"Marla, if I remember correctly, not all of the Augments were executed after the Eugenics Wars, correct?"

"That's right, Cath. About 90 were unaccounted for after the wars and after they were all condemned to death for crimes against humanity."

"Crimes that not all of them were guilty of committing," Catherine frowned.

"I see that we agree on that point. Right, not all of them were tyrants."

"Do we know what happened to them?"

"No, some have hypothesized that they reintegrated themselves into society, others may have lived out the rest of their lives in areas that were inhospitable to average humans."

"Marla, I invited you here because I need your help. I know I can trust you to keep a secret."

"What's wrong, Catherine?" Marla knit her brow in concern as she put her cup of tea on the coffee table.

"Well," Catherine picked up her PADD, pressed a few commands, and turned it to show Marla, "does this man look familiar to you?"

"Hmm," Marla took the PADD and studied the picture briefly. "Not really," she moved to hand it back to Catherine. "Wait!" she pulled the PADD back and looked up a file. "He looks like one of the Augment leaders. His name was Khan Noonien Singh," she handed back the PADD to show Catherine a picture of the Augment ruler.

"Oh my," Catherine put a hand over her mouth to stifle a sob. "It is John. He's exactly who I thought."

"What's going on here? Catherine?" Marla asked as Catherine began to weep. "Shh, I'm sorry," she patted her on the back. "Take your time."

Calming down, Catherine explained everything. "Do you think I'm crazy?" she asked finishing her explanation of the situation.

"No, not at all. I think your theory makes complete sense."

"You are being sincere," Catherine noted. "From the very beginning, I have felt as if Admiral Marcus has been lying to me, but it all makes sense now. John's, I mean, Khan's strength and ability to heal so easily, his love of Indian culture, his ability to speak fluent Hindi, the cryotubes, his DNA, all of it leads to the missing Augments from over 300 years ago. Those people from the  _Botany Bay_  are his followers. No wonder he is so protective of them. Oh no," she gasped. "I think Marcus must be using them as hostages. He's using them to force John to do what he wants. He's always saying that lives are at stake. Poor John."

"You love him, don't you?"

"Am I that obvious?"

"I may not be a Betazoid, Catherine, but a woman can tell when her friend is in love."

Catherine picked up her PADD with the pictures of Khan and John side-by-side on the screen. "You know when you see a photograph of someone you know, but it's from years before you knew them," she looked lovingly as she pointed to the picture of Khan. "It's like they're not quite finished; they're not done yet. Just think, he probably saw whole armies turn and run away, and here he is, 300 hundred years later, working in a hole in the ground enslaved by a madman. And yet, he is so gentle, so tender with me."

"Khan was said to be the best of the Augment rulers. Even though he greatly restricted the freedom of his subjects, there were no massacres or internal wars. He only went to war after being attacked."

"I love him dearly. I can tell he has affection for me, but sometimes he is difficult for me to read. We have, well," Catherine blushed, "kissed."

"What was it like? I am asking out of professional curiosity, of course," Marla teased.

"Oh, of course," Catherine laughed. "It was lovely. He is a very passionate man, but he is quite the gentleman. I just wish there was something I could do to help him and his people."

"Something tells me that you just being there for him at the moment is enough. I'm sure you also already have figured this out, but you should also keep quiet about his true identity."

"Agreed, and for now, I do not plan on telling him I know. At least, that is, not until the right moment. It's a pretty big bombshell to drop."

"Yes, and I'm sure, from what you've told me about his current situation, he's under enough stress."

After a few moments of silence, Catherine looked at Marla, "Do you want to meet him?"

"Really?"

"Sure, I told him a friend of mine was coming to visit."

"Well, okay!"

Catherine picked up the communicator John had given her off of her side table and flipped it open. Turning the dial, she signaled him. "Hello, Catherine," his deep voice answered bringing a smile to her face.

"Hello, John. I wanted to know if you wanted to meet my friend Marla that is in from New Delhi on a visit."

"I would like that very much. Would dinner tomorrow evening be adequate?"

"Of course, John, that would be lovely."

"Very well, I will let you ladies choose where you would like to go. Is 1800 a good time?"

"Yes, that works well."

"I will meet you both at your quarters then."

"Good night, John. See you in the morning."

"Good night, Catherine."

"Well?" Catherine looked at Marla after she closed the communicator.

"His voice is amazing. I got chills hearing him speak. Can you imagine, Catherine, hearing him speak to the crowds? Hearing him urge on his people in battle?"

"He does tend to have that effect on me as well," Catherine grinned. "When he had me climb El Capitan, hearing him encourage me to push onwards inspired me to keep going."

"I greatly look forward to meeting him. Don't worry, I will do my best not to let on that I know his true identity."

The next evening, the three enjoyed their meal together. Marla did her best to keep herself from staring in awe at John, but he did not notice, as he was too busy staring lovingly at Catherine. Marla could easily see just how gentle he was with Catherine and how much he adored her.

"Catherine, he adores you," Marla smiled after the two women returned to Catherine's quarters once again.

"Do you really think so?"

"Absolutely, he couldn't keep his eyes off of you."

"He often tells me that I am a superior woman. I do not know exactly what he means by that, but I suppose he does care very deeply for me."

"I must admit that I am quite jealous. If you didn't get to him first, I would have been happy to have him," Marla teased.

"If our lives were not changed thanks to Nero, perhaps he would have been yours," Catherine laughed.

"Be good to him. He must feel so lost here in this century. Right now, you must be the only constant, the only person in his life that he can depend on to be there for him."

"He looked so lonely when I first saw him asleep in his cryotube. There are still times when I catch him looking so sad. My heart aches for him. He himself has admitted that he wishes he had someone who could help him bear his burdens. He is afraid that Marcus would come after me if he knew we were involved. I don't care, though, what might happen to me. I just want to protect John."

"He and his people probably entered cryostasis in hopes of awakening in a new time or place where they would be accepted. It is a shame that we humans truly have not changed since their time. Whatever happens, Catherine, I will keep both of your secrets, and if there is anything I can do, just let me know."

"Thank you, Marla. In the future, John and I may need your help. You are a good friend, or, as John would say, you are a superior woman," the two smiled before saying their goodbyes.


	13. Back to Work

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Getting a double dose this weekend. Included a credited Harry Potter quote as it fit the moment. Enjoy!
> 
> Listening track selections: "Back to Work" and "Elegy" by David Arnold and Michael Price

After Marla helped to confirm Catherine's suspicions in regards to John's true identity, she prepared to tell Dr. Smith about her discovery knowing that other than Marla, he was the one other person she could currently trust with John's secret.

"How was your time with your friend from out-of-town?" Dr. Smith asked as they were running a diagnostic on one of the cryotubes.

"Oh, it was very nice. It's kind of funny now. Back in our time at Starfleet Academy, I felt like Marla was a rival of sorts. Now, I consider her to be a dear friend. We can let such petty things interfere with our relationships with others."

"I know what you mean. In my teens, I didn't talk to my best friend for over two months after I thought he was dating the girl I told him I was interested in at the time. Turns out he was just tutoring her for her calculus class."

"So, um, you know how I told you that I have a theory about John?"

"Oh, yes, did you get the information you needed?"

"Yes, Marla confirmed my theory, and I don't feel like I'm crazy now. She's a historian."

"A historian? What does this have to do with the here and now and with Harrison no less?"

"Remember you said his telomeres are too short?" Smith nodded. "Do you by chance recognize this man?" she asked as she picked up her PADD and showed him the picture of Khan.

"Well, it looks like Commander Harrison, but it can't be him, can it?"

"This is Khan Noonien Singh. He was an Augment leader during the Eugenics Wars. He and about 90 others went missing at the war's end after the Augments were condemned to death. And, he is Commander John Harrison."

"It's kind of crazy, but it makes sense. Catherine, this is brilliant! What even triggered you to think of this?"

"All of the pieces of the puzzle have been slowly coming together in my head. You probably didn't know that John speaks fluent Hindi, loves Indian culture, and has spent quite some time in India. These were just some of the things that I have learned from spending time with him and alerted me to something different about him. It was only recently, however, that I really became concerned. You see, I only share a telepathic link with my mother. For everyone else, I have empathic abilities. With John, and I don't know how or why, I sometimes can read his thoughts."

"Perhaps the very fact that he is an Augment is why you have that connection with him," Smith suggested.

"I do think that is part of it. His emotions are so much stronger, and he feels so much deeper than average humans. And," she paused, "I think the fact that John and I have developed some sort of relationship has also something to do with it."

"Well, whatever the nature of your relationship with him may be, it is ultimately none of my business. I know we're not really supposed to have relationships with coworkers and in our case our patients, but don't worry, I will tell no one about his identity or your involvement with each other. He has changed since you have been here with us. You have been good for him. I'm afraid to know what he would be like right now if you weren't here given all of the troubles he's been having with Marcus and these mysterious headaches. Chronic headaches, which given his ability in the past to heal without any trouble, he shouldn't even be having."

"He has admitted to me that he has been so very lonely," she frowned. "I'm glad that I can be a companion to him and that he has at least one person to support him."

"So, if he is actually Khan, does that mean these are his people?" Smith motioned to the cryotubes.

"Yes, I believe they are, and that is what worries me. I have sensed him being quite protective of them, and I am concerned that Marcus is using them as pawns in some sort of sick game."

"All the more reason for us to protect them to the best of our abilities and to treat them well. They are already so vulnerable in this state."

"I agree, and they had no choice ending up in Marcus' hands like this."

After finishing up with Dr. Smith, Catherine went to John's lab as scheduled. By this time, he had given his security code to her so she could let herself in anytime she needed to do her scans on him. She punched in the code and walked in finding him closing up the photon torpedo he had been working on for weeks.

"Finishing up before the weekend?" she walked inside the door.

"Yes, I have submitted the information for this prototype a couple of days ago. The engineers have already replicated a couple, and in about half an hour, they will be performing a test run."

"What features do these torpedoes have that typical torpedoes don't?" she asked her eyes full of curiosity.

"They are long-range photon torpedoes making them difficult to be traced back to their ship of origin. The inner casing shields the fuel compartment and warhead payloads from sensors."

"Oh John," Catherine sighed.

"I know, Catherine. I do not like them either. It would be all too easy to use them to start a war."

"You've had no choice, though, in the matter," she put her hand on his shoulder knowingly.

"No, I have not," he cringed. "Weapons should only be used for defense and to preserve peace, to protect the ones you love," he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"I must admit, John, that the thought of war frightens me. There was enough pain and suffering after the destruction of the fleet and Vulcan. I cannot bear the thought of a large-scale war and the annihilation it could bring about."

"Know this, Catherine," he turned her to face him and leaned over slightly to be on the same level of her eyes, "no matter what happens, I will do everything in my power to make sure you are safe. I owe you that."

"Thank you," she took hold of his hands and squeezed them. "I do feel safe with you," she gently smiled.

"How good are you at using a phaser?"

"Not that great. I passed my certification testing, but I have not really had much experience with using a phaser since."

"Perhaps it would be a good idea for me to teach you how better to yield the weapon."

"Sure, I would like that. I want to be able to protect myself."

"Good, we will start practicing in the near future."

Later that morning, John sat watching his view screen anticipating the results of the testing of the long-range photon torpedoes he had designed. Dr. Uzumaki appeared on the screen, "Commander Harrison, your torpedoes are a failure! They self-detonated only several thousand feet from their point of origin. This is not good enough. Keep working out the bugs! Admiral Marcus will be contacting you shortly to de-brief you on the trial run."

John grinned slyly to himself satisfied that the trial was a failure just as he had planned. Admiral Marcus appeared suddenly on the screen cutting his little victory short. "Harrison! You think I couldn't tell that you purposely rigged the torpedoes to self-detonate close to their point of origin! You better get it together! I'm not in the mood for your games anymore. Perhaps I need to remind you who's in charge here." John's face turned white. "Harrison, are you even listening to me?"

"That is not my name!" John growled as he became enraged. "Don't you dare harm them!"

"Oh, you're hardly in a position to be making threats, son. I better get results and soon, or you'll deeply regret it!" Marcus shouted before the view screen went black.

"No!" John threw his stool across the room. He then sank to the floor, pushed the hair that was now hanging loosely in his face back, and held his hands to his head. "Ugh," he winced in pain as his head pounded. "No," he gasped as he started to weep.

Early Monday morning, Catherine met Dr. Smith to get their tea before heading to their lab. As the door swooshed open, a wall of horrid odor hit them. "Oh God," Catherine covered her mouth and nose with her collar as she walked inside, "what is that smell?"

"Oh no," Smith tried not to gag as he also walked into the lab, "the cryotubes!"

The pair ran in to where the two cryotubes were being kept, and the smell was even stronger when they entered. The lights on the panels of the cryotube containing the male were out, and a faint buzzing noise emanated from the circuitry. The glass of the cryotube was dripping with condensation preventing the two from seeing inside.

"Shit!" Smith swore. "This doesn't look good, Catherine. We're going to have to force it open."

"I think there's a crowbar in the storage closet," Catherine noted before going to retrieve it.

Using the crowbar, Dr. Smith pried open the lid of the cryotube and pushed back the glass cover. Both he and Catherine tried not to gag as the smell of rotting flesh wafted out of the opening.

"What happened?" Catherine started to get tears in her eyes both from the smell and from being upset.

"There's clearly nothing we can do here. I'll need to do an autopsy. If you're willing, I'll need some help."

"Of course, I will help."

"Then we'll need to take a look at the cryotube. I'm suspecting there was some sort of malfunction."

"Do you think he suffered?" she asked as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"No, I doubt he even knew what was happening."

"He does look quite peaceful. Oh, how awful! I wish there was something we could have done to prevent this! Damn it!"

"Are you sure you'll be alright with helping with the autopsy?"

"Yes, sorry, it's just never easy losing a patient."

"I know. Shit, what about Harrison?"

"Don't worry. I'll figure out how to tell him without giving away that I know this man was one of his people."

"Just be careful. He might lose it."

"I know, but I trust him not to hurt me. Besides, I think he would rather hear it from me than anyone else. We didn't even know the poor man's name," she sighed.

After the pair suited up and used a transporter to move the body of the deceased man into the small surgical suite in their lab, Smith started the autopsy with Catherine's assistance. Despite the rotting flesh, Catherine could not help but note that the man was as muscular as John although somewhat smaller in build.

"This man was completely healthy. Nothing to suggest his death was due to disease or injury. I suspect that there was a malfunction with the cryotube, but until I examine it, I cannot confirm that," Dr. Smith concluded as the cleaned up post-autopsy.

"Are you going to analyze his DNA?" Catherine asked suggestively.

"Good idea," he loaded a couple of blood samples into the centrifuge. "While I think we are correct, this will all the more confirm the identity of these people. You go ahead and get cleaned up. Take the rest of the afternoon off if you need it. I'll just be fiddling around with the cryotube the rest of the day."

"Thank you," she sighed. "Besides, I think I want to tell John and get it over with as soon as possible."

Catherine got a quick shower trying to hold back her tears as she washed the scent of rotting flesh out of her hair. After drying off and getting dressed, she went to the cafeteria to have a small bowl of broth and a piece of toast to satisfy her hungry but slightly upset stomach. When she was finished, she made the slow journey to John's lab. Letting herself inside, she was surprised to see that he was not there at the moment. Noticing his stool flipped over across the room, however, she knew something was not right.

"John," she whispered to herself as she set it upright again at his workstation. She started to organize some of the designs on the countertop in a neat pile when she discovered a small swatch of fabric.  _"It's the same fabric used to make my sari,"_  she thought as she held it to her cheek.  _"How am I going to tell him? It's going to break his heart!"_ she started to cry.

As John walked into the lab, he found her sitting on the stool with her head in her arms on the counter sobbing. "Catherine, what's wrong?" John approached her concerned. "Shh," he gently rubbed her back to soothe her.

"Oh John, it was terrible," she gasped lifting up her head.

"What happened? Please, you can tell me. Did someone hurt you? Did Marcus do something to you?" She started to sob even deeper. "No, Catherine, please, it's alright. I'm here. Take your time and calm down," he wrapped his arms around her.

"I'm so sorry. I have failed you," she weakly started after calming down.

"What do you mean, dear one?"

"Dr. Smith and I came in this morning from the weekend. We never received any alerts that anything was wrong. We walked into the lab, and it smelled like rotting flesh. Oh God, he's dead," she started to weep again.

"Catherine, who's dead?"

"The man in the cryotube. Something happened over the weekend. He literally died in his sleep. Dr. Smith says that he didn't suffer, but I wish there was something we could have done. I helped him with the autopsy. The smell was terrible. He died a natural death. No disease, no injury. A perfectly healthy man is dead! Dr. Smith is examining the cryotube now to see what malfunctioned. I could have done something!" she started to cry again.

" _Ricardo,"_  John thought as he held her again and tried not to shed tears of his own for his lost comrade.  _"Nandi will be heartbroken."_

Clearly hearing his thoughts, Catherine collapsed into his arms even further in grief. "I didn't even know his name. He had nothing to identify him, but he was a person with hopes and dreams and family. And now he will be buried in an unmarked grave with only a small placard designating him as a John Doe. He will not even have anyone to grieve him."

"No, Catherine," he tilted her chin up to look at him before wiping the tears off her cheeks with his thumbs, "you already are grieving for him even though you do not even know him, and together, we will both honor him even if the rest of the world or galaxy will not. Come now, do not cry so," he helped her to her feet. "It makes your eyes red," he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"John, how do you do it? How do you hold in the pain?" she asked sensing that he was as overcome with grief as she was despite him not shedding a single tear.

"My circumstances have molded me to be this way. Showing emotions can sometimes be mistaken as weakness. I do care, though, Catherine."

"I know, John, you do care. You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it. There is no shame in what you are feeling, John. On the contrary, the fact that you can feel pain like this is your greatest strength."*

"Oh, Catherine," he shuddered at her words as a couple of tears fell from his eyes, "my angel. You know my heart so well."

"I will let you know once he is buried so that we can honor him properly," she said almost in a whisper before kissing him on the cheek.

"I'm only a call away if you need anything," he brushed the hair out of her face before she turned and left to go home to her quarters. After she was gone, John went to his view screen and opened a comm link to contact Marcus. "You bastard," he seethed through his teeth as a couple of hot tears rolled down his cheeks.

"I told you, Harrison, that I don't really feel like playing games anymore. So, I changed my mind. Thought you needed a reminder of what is at stake here. Now get back to work!" Marcus barked before severing the comm link. John trudged over to the prototype torpedo and through burning tears got back to work.

The next morning, Catherine plodded into the lab hoping that Dr. Smith wouldn't notice the dark circles under her eyes. "His name was Ricardo," she frowned. "I think her name is Nandi. From what I'm guessing, they were lovers."

"How did he take it?" Dr. Smith frowned back.

"Well, he didn't fly into a fit of rage at least while I was there. He's full of grief, though, and I sense that he feels as if he has failed them. We are going to do something, though, to honor the deceased man. I think it will help John to heal and will give me closure."

"Good, that will be helpful for both of you."

"Was it the cryotube?"

"Yes, it was. The circuitry was fried. It looks like there was an overload somewhere. There's no reason, though, that it should have happened."

"So, someone else did it. Someone else used an outside source to overload the system."

"Exactly what I was thinking. God, I hate this," Dr. Smith put his hand on the back of his neck. "I don't like my patients or fellow human being used as cannon fodder."

"I'm sick of this, of all of it! I swear, if I had the opportunity, I think I'd kill Marcus myself," she spat.

"I know, Catherine, I know. Try to hold on for me and especially for John."

That afternoon Catherine stormed into John's lab throwing her tricorder and medical scanner on the countertop actually causing him to jump slightly. "Catherine, what is it?" he asked surprised to see her face full of rage.

"Teach me how to use a phaser properly. Right now, John!"

"Alright, fine. I can see you are quite eager. Let's go," he led her down the hall to a simulation area used for testing prototype phasers. Opening a case, he pulled out a phaser and holster for each of them. After securing his own holster and gently wrapping the other holster around her waist, he set both phasers to stun before handing her one. "I'm sure you already know this, but first and foremost, never aim a phaser carelessly," he reminded her seeing that her phaser was aimed in his direction.

"Sorry, how stupid of me," she redirected her aim.

"It's alright, it's only set to stun on the lowest setting, and I'm pretty much unharmed by that level of firepower as I have grown accustomed to it," he smiled. "Face the target, the one shaped like a Romulan," he instructed her as he stood behind her. Gently correcting her stance, he reached around her enveloping her hands and the phaser helping her to aim. "Take a deep breath, and when you're ready to fire, breathe out and press the trigger."

"Okay," she nodded as he let go of her hands. Taking a deep breath, she focused on the target. As she exhaled she fired the phaser hitting the target directly in the chest.

"Excellent!" he clapped his hands on her shoulders. "You are a natural. Why did you struggle so much in your class at Starfleet Academy?"

"I suppose I was so nervous at the time. My instructor was rather intimidating, and I was worried that I would hurt someone. You are a wonderful teacher, John. I feel so at ease with you," she smiled.

"Now that you know how to properly position your body and aim, you should be just fine. Go ahead and practice with the stationary targets a few more times, and then we'll move on to moving targets."

Catherine, much to her surprise, quickly mastered firing at the stationary targets. She was soon able to quickly aim and fire at multiple targets, so John decided to progress her to the moving targets. After John demonstrated how to prioritize and fire at the moving targets, she followed suit.

"It's alright, Catherine," he reassured her after she missed a few. "It takes some practice. You are doing well."

"I never thought I was capable of that," she smiled as they finished up an hour later.

"Once again you were doubting yourself," he admonished her. "You never know what you're capable of until you try."

"You give me confidence, John. I feel stronger when you're with me."

"You have plenty of reasons to feel confident without me. You are stronger than you think," he smiled affectionately as he unbuckled the holster from her waist. "By next week, I expect that we can practice what it is like to be in a firefight. Like I said, you are a natural. Why are you suddenly so eager to learn to wield a phaser?"

"I'm tired, John," she scowled. "I'm tired of all of this. I'm tired of us being used. I'm tired of those innocent people in the cryotubes being used. I'm tired of living in fear and feeling like we're living in a cage. I'm tired of Marcus, and if and when I have the opportunity, I just might kill him."

"That would almost certainly mean your death."

"I know, and I don't care. This is no way to live. I am willing to die if I knew it meant your freedom and the freedom of those people. I want you to be happy, John."

"But Catherine, I would absolutely not be happy. Losing you, not having you at my side, it would be the death of me," he panted.

"Do you really mean that?"

"I know that I am not always good at sharing my feelings, but, yes, I mean it with all my heart. Catherine, you have been a light to me in my darkest of days."

"John," she reached up wrapping her arms around his neck pulling him into a kiss. "As much as I want to kill Marcus, I won't do it if that is what you want."

"I assure you that Marcus will pay for what he has done. I don't know when or how, but there will be justice. For now, I need you to be strong."

"I will do my best," she sighed. "Oh, by the way, they will have buried the man from the cryotube by tomorrow morning. Then we can go and pay our respects."

"Meet me at my lab at the usual time. Then we can go and honor him properly," he instructed her.

Meeting John at the appointed time, the pair found the small patch of green designated for the city's unclaimed bodies. Finding the freshly dug patch of ground with a small placard designating the deceased to be a John Doe with a serial number and approximate date of death, John placed a small bunch of purple flowers on top of the pile of moist dirt.  _"Nandi always loved when you brought her African violets,"_  he thought.

Noting his sentiment, Catherine gently squeezed his hand. "Whoever he was, he is at peace. But it's still not fair," she sniffled.

"I know you wish you could have prevented this, Catherine, but sometimes there are things beyond our control. Doing this, though, does him justice," he reassured her.

"I hope so, John. Thank you for doing this with me," she put her arm around his waist.

"No, thank you, dear one," he leaned over and rested his head on her own as a tear rolled down his cheek.

*J.K. Rowling,  _Harry Potter_


	14. Demons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listening track selections: "Demons" by Imagine Dragons, "Pieces" and "Not Alone" by Red

Catherine knew John was grieving the recent death of Ricardo, one of his people who had accompanied him in cryostasis on the  _SS Botany Bay_ , but she herself was grieved in that she longed to comfort him and felt that she could not yet reveal to him that she knew his true identity. A couple of days after they had paid their respects and honored Ricardo's memory, Catherine went to see how John was doing not only physically but also emotionally.

"John?" she asked as she entered his lab and found him cradling his head in his hands. She quietly walked to his side and gently placed her hand on his shoulder, "John, are you alright?"

Taking a deep breath and sighing, he lifted his head and looked at her with reddened eyes, "Not really."

"Please, tell me what you need. What can I do to help you? You're in agony," she noted the pain showing in his eyes despite his usual strong countenance.

"My head is killing me. I do not understand why these headaches plague me."

"I'll ask Dr. Smith if we can increase the amantadine. You've been on a rather low dose."

"If you insist," he groaned lightly leaning his head on one of his hands.

"John," she tried to soothe him and leaned in to place a kiss on his temple. As her lips barely brushed his skin, he suddenly pulled away.

"I need to be alone."

"No, John, you need-"

"Woman," he interrupted her turning to glare at her, "I know better than you or anyone else what I need, and I need to be alone," he growled.

"I see," tears started to well in her eyes. "Excuse me," she turned and dashed out of the room so he would not see her cry. As the door swooshed shut, she quickly walked back to the lab glad that Dr. Smith was out-of-town for the day and that she would be alone. Walking into the room containing the now solitary cryotube, she backed against the wall and slid to the floor putting her face in her hands as she started to sob.  _"I can't do this anymore. I cannot bear to see him hurting like this,"_ she thought. After crying a couple of minutes, she heard the door open and felt the presence of someone stooping down beside her.

"Catherine," John softly spoke her name. "I'm sorry," he apologized as she cried harder. He helped her stand to her feet. "Shh," he wrapped his arms around her to calm her. As she stopped crying, he cupped her face and wiped her tears away with his thumbs, "I'm so sorry I lost my temper with you."

"It's alright, John. You're under so much pressure, and I can be a nag sometimes. I just want to help you."

"I know, and you do help me so wonderfully. I do not mean to push you away. You're always the one asking me this, but what can I do to help you? How can I make things better?"

"I just wish you could share your heart with me, all of it. It kills me to see you in so much pain everyday and not be able to help you. John, I just can't do this anymore," she pulled away from his grasp and stood by the cryotube. Placing on hand on the glass, she put the other over her mouth to stifle a sob as it escaped her throat.

John moved and stood on the other side of the cryotube. "Maybe it would be best for you to request a transfer. I cannot escape Marcus, but you can," he suggested placing his hand overtop of hers.

"Transfer? No, John! Giving up, quitting, would be letting Marcus win!"

"There is no shame in making your emotional health a priority over your career," he tried to reason with her.

"No, I absolutely will not leave! I'm not leaving you here to be treated like an animal!" she straightened her posture and stood resolutely. "I would rather die than leave you here completely alone."

John shut his eyes with Catherine's display of resolve and passion to continue her position and remain with him despite their tenuous and precarious situation. Taking a deep breath and opening his eyes, he took her hand and walked around the cryotube to stand beside her. "Please know that I greatly desire to tell you everything, to share with you about the demons that haunt me. It is not yet right to do so. I need time. Please understand," he reached up and brushed a loose curl out of her face.

"I understand. It doesn't make it easier, but yes, I understand."

"Catherine, do you trust me?"

"With my very life, John."

"Good," he kissed her on the forehead. "I promise that I will not disappoint you."

Dr. Smith and Catherine felt that they were starting to make excellent progress in deciphering the systems used in the design of the cryotubes. Admiral Marcus soon had another cryotube transferred to the lab to take the place of the deceased Ricardo. This one contained a blonde man about the same size and build as John.

"Did they say exactly how many of these they found on the  _Botany Bay_?" Catherine asked after they received their new subject.

"No, I have no idea. They are, however, kept somewhere in these facilities. At this rate, that is a good thing."

"Oh?"

"One of my friends did some digging for me again, and from what I can tell, the two of us have the greatest understanding in regards to how these cryotubes work and how best to care for those inside them. This means that they probably won't be moving them anytime soon. Section 31 is corrupt, but I do not think the leaders would risk accusations of genocide."

"I hope you're right," she sighed.

One Saturday morning, Catherine awoke to her PADD beeping loudly. "Computer, what time is it?"

"0456," the computer system in her quarters quipped.

"Lights. 50%," she ordered the computer before rubbing her eyes and sitting up. Catherine picked up the PADD, which read, " _URGENT. Report immediately to my office at London Section 31 headquarters upon receiving this message - Admiral Marcus."_

"What the hell could he possibly want? Of course it's a Saturday, too," she rolled her eyes and threw up her hands in disgust. "'There are no emergencies in rehab or research,' they said. They never had to work with Admiral Marcus! Bastard," she grumbled as she pulled on her slippers and made her way to the bathroom.

After quickly showering and making herself look somewhat presentable, Catherine grabbed an apple and headed to catch a shuttle to the Kelvin Memorial Archives. On her way to Marcus' office, she raised a brow as she walked past John's lab noting that an armed guard was posted at the door.

"Lieutenant Troi is here to see you, Admiral," the secretary, who was entirely too happy this early on a Saturday morning, reported over the intercom.

"Send her in," he curtly replied.

"I got your message, Admiral," Catherine showed her PADD to Marcus.

"Have a seat, Lieutenant Troi."

"Is something wrong, sir? There are never really any emergencies in a rehabilitation or research situation that I would be able to handle without Dr. Smith overseeing my work."

"Commander Harrison is what's wrong."

"Is he ill? Should I page the doctor?"

"He's off his rocker! I don't know what the hell is wrong with him," he shook his head in disgust. "I got back from a conference on New Vulcan and stopped by to check his progress. He was working late as always. He didn't look like his usual self. As I was about to leave, he started throwing things all over the lab like a maniac. I ordered him to stop, but he left the building and stormed off to his quarters. Local authorities received complaints from his neighbors about noise. I sent a couple of security officers to investigate the freak. He trashed his quarters, and they found him sitting in the middle of it all. He won't say a word, just stares into the distance."

"Why didn't they just call for a medical crew?"

"Harrison wouldn't have cooperated. It wouldn't have gone down well. I ordered them to just leave him alone and to post a guard to monitor the situation. And, so, here we are."

"What am I to be expected to do about it?"

"You have his trust. He'll open up to you. Besides, you can just use your Jedi mind tricks on him to figure out what's going on."

"Betazoid," she rolled her eyes.

"Jedi. Betazoid. Same difference."

"Sir, when I-"

"That will be all. Ensign Koenig will escort you to Harrison's quarters."

"But-"

"Report back to me once you have him figured out."

"Aye."

Catherine sulked the entire shuttle ride to John's apartment building. Granted, she did love John and would do anything she could to help him, however, she was exhausted and had been working so hard and was so frustrated with putting up with Admiral Marcus that she just wanted a day off to rest. Stretching her aching muscles, she stifled a groan as she climbed out of the transport shuttle when it had come to a stop in front of the tall building that contained the quarters that John had called home. The ensign led her inside and to his door on the 24th floor.

"Could you please wait down the hall?" Catherine asked the ensign and security guard.

"I don't think that is a good idea. This guy is a nutter," the guard pointed at the door.

"What is your rank?" No reply. "Ensigns. That's what I thought. I may be a nurse, but I am also a lieutenant. As your superior and as the medical provider for this man, I order you to wait down the hall."

"Yes ma'am," Ensign Koenig and the security officer responded and moped down the hall.

Catherine went to the door.  _"Locked."_ Pressing a button on the panel beside the door, "John? It's Catherine. Marcus wanted me to see you. Please, let me inside."

"Enter," a low voice sounded before the door whooshed open.

Catherine took in the view of John's quarters.  _"He sure did a number on this place,"_ she thought. Just about anything that could be broken was smashed to pieces all over the floor. Only the plant from Betazoid that Catherine had given to him still sat intact in its pot on the kitchen counter, a small spot of life and peace amidst what looked like a war zone. John sat cross-legged on the floor in the living room facing the French doors leading to his balcony with his back to Catherine. The lighting was dim, and Catherine looked at his silhouette observing that his shoulders were trembling. Taking her medical gear off her shoulder, she quietly walked towards him.

" _I sense so much conflict, so much pain. Should I tell him that I know the truth?"_

When she reached where he was sitting, after carefully sweeping away a few pieces of a broken plate, she lowered herself and knelt beside him. "John?" she gently placed her hand on his shoulder. He turned his face away. Catherine decided to take the risk. She reached over and gently placing her hand under his chin, turned his head to face her. His hair was disheveled and hanging loosely in his face, eyes bloodshot and brimming with angry tears, and he had torn his shirt during his fit of rage. "Or should I say, Khan?"

John gasped lightly and looked her in the eyes as a fresh tear streamed down his cheek. "How? Only Marcus and his top staff know."

Catherine gently wiped the tear away with her thumb before sweeping the hair out of his face. "You're not the only one with secrets." He looked at her with a confused gaze. "I'm half-Betazoid."

"Your eyes. I always noted how different they were from everyone else's."

"Yes, our eyes are different."

"I just thought you had the genetic flaw aniridia and had no irises."

"No, I'm not that genetically flawed," she flashed a brief smile. "Betazoids are humanoid telepathic and empathic beings. And as I am only half-Betazoid, most of my abilities are empathic, but with those I am very close, like my mother, I have telepathic capabilities."

"Is this how you discovered the truth of my identity, my past?"

"Yes, we've been working together and have been close for some time now, but this was a very recent revelation. Remember I thought I was starting to hear things? I was starting to be able to read your thoughts. I want to protect you and your people. Only Dr. Smith, Marla, and myself know the truth, and once I figured out who you are, however, I vowed to myself that I would not tell anyone else whether I expected that they already knew or not. I wasn't even planning on telling you that I knew. I wanted to let you tell me when you were ready. I originally studied to be a historian and conferred with Marla who is an expert on your time period, and that contributed to my deduction."

"Then you know what history says of me and my people, of our role in the Eugenics Wars as they are now called."

"Yes, I do know what history says of these things, but I also know that the victors are the ones that get to write the history books. I know you, and I do not believe everything they have written about you."

"I am a savage, a monster," he turned away to look out the windows again his face growing stern.

"No, John, you're not. You're lovely. And despite what they say about you, under your rule, there were no mass killings. Although a bit restrictive, you were good to your subjects. You and the historians may say that you are a savage, but I can sense your feelings and know your beautiful heart," her hand slid down his bare chest and rested over his heart. "Yes, there is rage and anger, ferocity, but even more than that I sense love mingled with grief and concern."

"It was a mess from the beginning, the Chrysalis Project. Sometimes I feel like an accident, like none of the Augments including myself should have been born. We only showed that no matter what we bleed, we humans are all just made of greed. We were created in a world in chaos in hopes of bringing about peace. Yet, even from the beginning, the project was doomed. Sarina, my mother died when her lab exploded."

"She is the geneticist you spoke of so lovingly the night after we reanimated you."

"Yes, it was she. Granted, she was not really my biological mother, just a surrogate, but she was as much a mother to me as any. I was so young when she died. Regardless, I vowed to do my best to bring about the peace she so longed for and hoped could be achieved through my birth. It was not my goal to be a tyrant. One does not simply wake up one day and think, 'I want to be the next Hitler or Pol Pot.'"

"I must be cruel only to be kind. Thus bad begins and worse remains behind."

"Shakespeare,  _Hamlet_ , Act 3, Scene 4."

"I had a feeling that you knew that. Khan, you were so young when you came into power, and although you are superior in every way, at such a tender age you lost the one, your mother Sarina, who could have guided you in your rule. The relationship between a mother and her son is so powerful. A mother's love can tame even the wildest male's heart."

"She was so kind to everyone," he remembered with fondness. "I regret that I did not think of her more during my conquests. I feel as if I have shamed her, tarnished her memory. She would probably hate me as much as my subjects did."

"No, Khan, no, she would have loved you anyway, and not all of your subjects feared or hated you. Those that didn't like you often did so because they felt you were inhuman and were jealous of you."

"Just because I was conceived in a test tube does not mean I am only a tool to be used and thrown away. Just because I am genetically superior does not make me less human."

"If anything, it makes you more. John," she shook her head, "I'm sorry, I mean, Khan, as I have gotten to know you better, I can sense your feelings more easily than any other human I know, and you feel so much more strongly, deeply. Sometimes, your eyes, they shine so bright, and I can see such beauty in them despite the pain that I know dwells within your heart."

"Our self-imposed exile was done partially with the dream of starting a new life. We hoped not only to escape execution but also to find ourselves awakening in a new time and place where we would be accepted instead of treated as commodities. And yet, despite all the advancements, here I am. I am a slave to a prejudiced madman. Anyway, please, I insist that you call me John, which is what my mother actually had named me. Khan was only the title of my position as a leader, a creation of those who took me in after her death. Besides, as far as I have been told and been able to discover from running tests, my genetic donors were of British origin."

"John, what set you off? Why all of this destruction? Is there something, anything I can do?"

"I sabotaged another trial of my torpedoes. My people, my family," a fresh tear rolled down his cheek. "Marcus had them moved yesterday to a facility at an undisclosed location to punish me. Now I cannot monitor as easily what he is doing with them. I can only hope that he is not subjecting them to the same torturous experiments that they put me through. They have my sister and my nephew," he choked back a sob.

"The cryotubes! Oh, John, they haven't even told the doctor or myself," she rubbed his shoulder gently. "This is what sent you over the edge. Tell me about your family."

"My sister's name is Katrina, but I always called her Kati. She is the only one truly related to me by genetics. We were born from the same sperm and egg donors. Her husband, an Italian human named Giovanni, died breaking up a scuffle between two of my subjects. She was devastated, but having my nephew Luca saved her from her despair. He is such a sweet-natured child," he smiled. "Joachim, Suzette, Otto, and the others, they were all prepared to die for our cause and for me if they knew it would save lives or bring about peace. None of them deserve this! They're so vulnerable and have no choice as to what Marcus might have done to them!" he clenched his fists. "I would die for them if I knew it would guarantee their safety."

"John, I will try to help you in any way that I can. I will insist that they at least be brought back so that we can monitor them. Dr. Smith and I are the only ones knowledgeable about how best to treat them. I will not give away that I know your true identity. I promise with all of my heart," she leaned over and hugged him.

At first, her sign of affection surprised John. He could not remember the last time he had been hugged as Catherine had not even hugged him closely and intimately yet. Granted, his mother hugged him closely and often, but after her death, he could not even really recall hugging Kati or Luca.  _"Had the wars really hardened my heart this much?"_ he contemplated as he reluctantly returned the hug placing his hand on her back.  _"I do think I could, however, grow accustomed to this,"_ he thought and closed his eyes as he listened to her quiet breathing in his ear. He nuzzled gently into her shoulder as he felt her small hand patting his strong back.

Catherine gently pulled away from the hug. "I better let our unwanted guests in the hallway know that I am alright and that they can leave," she explained as she got up from the floor. "Then I'll make you some tea."

"Tea. When people are upset, the cultural convention is to bring them hot beverages. "

"Yes, John," she laughed, "that's right." He smiled. "What?"

"Your laugh just makes me smile, that is all."

"Good, you need to smile more," she beamed back before returning to her errand.

" _What a superior woman,"_  he reflected regarding her figure as she walked to the door.  _"A superior woman, indeed."_


	15. Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Finished this one up earlier than expected, so I wanted to get it posted for you all since I'll be at a conference this weekend. :) Catherine and John spend some time getting to know each other better. Enjoy!
> 
> Listening track selections: "Alone Together" by Fall Out Boy, "Not Alone" by Red, and "Illumination" by Globus

"Ensigns," Catherine walked into the hallway outside John's quarters.

"Everything alright in there?" Ensign Koenig jogged up the hall with his hand on his phaser in its holster.

"Everything is fine," she held up her hands. "Just a bit of a misunderstanding. Commander Harrison is not feeling well, so he is not quite himself," she lied. "I will oversee his care. Please let Admiral Marcus know that the situation is under control and that I will send him my full official report sometime on Monday."

"Are you quite sure?" the other young security officer hesitated.

"Yes, Commander Harrison and I have a certain understanding with each other which Admiral Marcus seems to comprehend. I have medicated the commander, and he should be well enough to return to his work on Monday. Go on and let the admiral know. You shouldn't keep him waiting," she smiled falsely.

"Yes ma'am," the two ensigns acknowledged her instruction and left.

"Silly boys," she shook her head and headed back inside John's quarters.

"They did not give you any trouble, did they?" John asked as he tried to clean up some of the mess that he had made.

"No, they're quite impressionable young men. It was not difficult to convince them to report to Marcus that you merely are not feeling well, that I've medicated you, and that you will be back to usual form by Monday," she smiled slyly.

"You've never been one to lie much before meeting me, were you?"

"No, I've never been much of a liar. In fact, I've always prided myself on my honesty. And no, I do not enjoy lying, but I do it to protect you and your family."

"I'm sorry that you have to lie on my behalf. Lying does not become you," he reflected as he scooped up a broken plate. "Ugh!" he winced as he sliced his fingertip on a piece of glass.

"Let me see," Catherine took his hand as a drop of blood gathered at the site of injury.

"No, watch," John pulled his hand free and sucked on the end of his bleeding finger to clean away the blood. "See?" he showed her his finger.

"It's already closed," she gasped noting the bleeding had stopped and the cut was already healed over with a thin line of fresh skin. "Then it is true. They did torture you several months ago. I saw your medical files. Oh John," she stroked his hand.

"Marcus originally had them experimenting on me just to see how my augmented body could handle injury, pain," he winced again slightly remembering the days of agony he experienced. "They, of course, soon discovered how my body quickly heals itself. I honestly do not know how or why it works."

"Is that why you injected me with your blood?"

"Yes, I felt horrid knowing what I had put you through. I could tell your wrist was broken again," he gently stroked the skin on her wrist. "I'm sorry. I imagine it frightened you greatly to discover that I had injected you with my blood like that."

"It was quite disconcerting," she laughed lightly. "I forgive you, of course. I, however, felt pretty good physically that morning after despite everything you put me through."

"I promise that someday I will not have to keep apologizing to you for my actions. You are so forgiving," he kissed her hand. "Now how's about some tea?"

"I'll make it. You go ahead and keep working," she walked to the kitchen area and started looking through the cupboards.

"Try the one above the sink."

"Ah, here we go, Darjeeling," she pulled out the tin. "Earl Grey?" she asked seeing the other tin tucked behind the Darjeeling.

"Yes," he smiled. "It's your favorite, is it not?"

"Of course it is," she smiled back before getting the kettle ready. After managing to find a couple of cups that were not destroyed during John's rampage, Catherine finished preparing their tea. "You work so quickly," she noted that much of his mess was cleaned up already.

"I am rather efficient," he took the cup of Darjeeling. "Please, sit with me," he motioned to his couch, which was now turned upright with its cushions back in place.

Catherine nestled on the couch as John sat closely beside her. "Your plant is doing well," she noted before sipping her tea.

"It is beautiful and reminds me of you. Learning of your Betazoid heritage today makes it all the more precious to me. Once again, you have me at a disadvantage in that you know much more about me than I know about you."

"What would you like to know?"

"Do you have family?"

"Yes. My father's name is Dylan. He grew up in Pennsylvania, and that's where I actually spent most of my time growing up as a child. My mother, Kestra, is from Betazed. I'm an only child, but I have many cousins both on Earth and Betazed with whom I spent many summer days playing."

"So, in my time you would've been an American?"

"Yes, I suppose that would have been my nationality."

"How did you end up at Section 31?" he asked.

"I actually majored in history during my time at Starfleet Academy," she began. "After the destruction of the fleet and Vulcan, however, I was able to sense all the pain of those around me. It was horrible, and I did have to somewhat try to shut it all out lest it overwhelm me. It was this event, however, that led me to decide to go back to Starfleet Medical to become a nurse."

"You wanted to be able to help ease the pain of others."

"Right, and I ultimately found myself enjoying the areas of rehabilitation and research. I had been assisting with some research studies at the academy in San Francisco, but as we completed the most recent project of which I was a member this past spring, I found myself out of a job. That was when I saw a posting for the position with Section 31. I signed up mostly out of curiosity. I never thought that I would really be contacted about it, but it all happened so quickly. They interviewed me, and Admiral Marcus gave me less that twenty-four hours to decide if I wanted it or not. He was insistent, however, that they needed me because of my psionic abilities. It was a pretty difficult decision."

"You have no idea how happy I am that you decided to join. I honestly don't know what condition I would be in right now if you weren't here," he gently placed his hand on her knee. "And I know that my family is safe in your hands."

"It hasn't been easy, John," she reached down and put her hand on top of his, "but I'm glad I decided to join, too. You've changed my life. I would not be who I am now without you."

"No, I have merely brought out the potential that you already had inside of you. I fail to understand why you always doubt yourself."

"I suppose that I just have a fear of being inadequate," she looked down at her lap. "My friends and family have been nothing short of supportive, but I have always felt like there are high expectations for me to excel. I suppose that I'm the one that puts the pressure on myself, but I just do not want to let anyone down."

"Forgive me if I am prying, but have you ever been involved romantically with anyone?"

"No, never," she replied sadly.

"You're lying," he smiled slyly and laughed.

"No, I'm not! It's true!" she swatted at him. "I've only been on one date. You were my first kiss."

"How could such a beautiful, accomplished, and kind woman be ignored by the men around her?" he turned slightly on the couch angling his body to face her better.

"Well, if you know the answer, please let me know!" she huffed. "I feel like I have a sign tattooed on my forehead warning the male species to stay away!"

"It is because they are all unworthy of you. You are superior."

"How, John? I'm awkward, clumsy, have little self-confidence, say the wrong things, cry too mu-."

"Stop," he put his hand gently over her mouth. "I do not want to hear you belittle yourself again. You are intelligent, strong, and care for those vulnerable and weaker than yourself," he stroked her cheek.

"But I'm not an Augment."

"You don't need to be an Augment for me to care about you, Catherine. You forget that more importantly than being an Augment that I'm human. I may be genetically superior, but deep down, I'm still just like you. Even you said that I'm more human than most."

"I just do not want to let you down," she sighed.

"I've already hurt you and upset you more than once. If anyone should be worried about causing disappointment, it's me."

A slightly uncomfortable silence settled between the pair as they sipped on their tea for several minutes before Catherine spoke. "I'd imagine you had many consorts and conquests during your time as Khan," she nervously took another sip of her tea.

"I did have a way with women. They were very attracted to me, Catherine, but I was in no way promiscuous. I will not lie to you. Yes, I have bedded a couple of women, but it was during my late teens. It was a couple of short-term flings, just adolescent curiosity. Once I completed my university education, however, and took on my responsibilities as Khan, I did not have the time or energy to devote to romantic attachments. Don't get me wrong, many women, both my subjects and other Augments, practically flung themselves at me. My duties as Khan, keeping the peace and keeping my family and my people safe, were for what I lived. In spite of this, I have always longed to have a family of my own."

"So, you never truly loved someone before."

"No," he paused and looked her in the eyes, "not until I met you. Oh Catherine, I should have told you sooner. I love you."

"I love you, too, John," she leaned forward to put her tea down.

He quickly followed suit putting his tea down beside hers before holding her close. "You're so beautiful," he cupped her cheek before putting his hand on the back of her neck pulling her in to kiss her passionately.

Catherine responded in kind kissing him roughly and tangling her fingers in his hair on the back of his head. With the encouragement of his tongue, she opened her mouth allowing him to deepen the kiss as she reclined back on the couch with him scooting on top of her. In their new position, she moved both hands to his back and slid them under his shirt to feel the warmth of his skin. As he started to nip at her neck, she quietly mewed in his ear, "Oh John."

In hearing her aroused sigh, he quickly pulled away and jumped off of her and the couch. "I'm sorry. Please excuse me. I will only be a moment," he explained before walking quickly to his bathroom. Catherine could hear him turn on his shower. Several minutes later, he returned wearing a pair of burgundy silk pajama pants and a fresh black shirt that buttoned at the top.

"Did I do something wrong?" Catherine frowned.

"No, love," he sat down again beside her and hugged her briefly. "It's just that I do not think it is quite yet time for us to be physically involved. Please do not think that I do not want this, because I do. I had to stop myself lest I get too carried away. It has been far too long since I've been with a woman, and I do not want to hurt you, as you are a virgin. When I do bed you, Catherine, I want everything to be perfect," he tucked her hair behind her ear. "I only want to bring you pleasure."

"I understand. Thank you, John," she kissed him gently. "Do not keep me waiting too long," she teased.

"Although you clearly are quite eager, today is not the day. In the future when you are ready, let me know."

"I will," she smiled before picking up her tea again. "Ugh, it's gotten cold. Do you want me to warm yours up as well?"

"Our tea may be cold, but I would say things were rather hot in here not long ago," his voice grumbled seductively.

"You're killing me, John," she laughed as she picked up his cup of tea to heat it up as well. John watched her lovingly as she warmed up their cups of tea. "Here you go," she handed him his cup back before snuggling next to him. "If you don't mind me asking, what exactly did they do to you? I need to understand what you went through."

John closed his eyes and breathed in deeply before answering, "They did many things to me."

"I'm sorry," she could feel an overwhelming sense of hurt fill his heart. "You do not need to tell me if it brings you too much pain."

"No, it's alright. It is probably better that I tell you," he pulled her close. "I was told upon awakening that I almost didn't make it through the reanimation process. They were not familiar with the technology that we had used. Upon learning my identity, Marcus soon set to work. I honestly do not remember the sequence of events, but I'm sure you could figure out their chronology from my medical records. One day was spent slicing away layers of my skin. Another day was spent burning me. Electrocutions took another entire day. They even had some wild creature I've never seen before maul me. I do not know how many days they carried on in this manner. It all started to blur together."

"I've never paid any attention enough to note your skin, but do Augments scar?"

"Yes, very lightly. Our scars are barely noticeable, but here," he unbuttoned the top of his shirt and pointed to a couple faint lines on his chest.

"Only the physical scars are barely noticeable," she lightly traced the scars on his chest before placing a gentle kiss over them. "It's the emotional and psychological ones that concern me," she frowned.

"You have reason to believe that I am traumatized?"

"Your headaches just worry me. Did a burst of plasma really hit you? Did you really have post neural shock syndrome? And with your ability to heal, why are you having these headaches?"

"No, there was no plasma burst nor did I have post neural shock syndrome. I do not remember clearly the events that led to my second time in cryostasis, but I have reason to believe that it was just Marcus punishing me again for insubordination. I am also puzzled by the headaches, but perhaps you are right. Perhaps it is merely my mind's attempt to cope with what happened to me physically."

"John, I'm so sorry about Ricardo."

"But I never told you his name," he slightly protested.

"Remember," she pointed to her head and tapped it lightly. "I've been able to read some of your thoughts."

"Right, I forgot about that. Just how much have you been able to hear?"

"Only little odds and ends here and there. It seems to especially happen when you're experiencing strong emotions like grief. Is Nandi the woman in the lab?"

"Yes, they were lovers," he gently rubbed circles into her shoulder with his thumb.

"That's what I had guessed. Were you close with them?"

"I do not know them very intimately, but they are still dear to me. They were always supportive of my decisions as Khan, and they were good to those in their care."

"I see. Does one dream during cryostasis?"

"I believe that I did dream during my time in cryostasis, but it is difficult to tell for sure. I may have slept for 300 years, but it felt as if I had just gone to sleep the day before when I was reanimated."

"Hmm," she hummed somewhat sleepily.

"You're exhausted, Catherine," he stroked her hair as she nuzzled into his shoulder. "You have been through much lately. Go to sleep," he kissed the top of her head.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, you need your rest," he took her cup of tea away lest she spill it in their laps.

After Catherine had quickly drifted off to sleep and he laid her down so her head was resting in his lap, John pulled out his PADD that had at some point ended up sandwiched between the couch cushions. Turning it on and opening up an application on which he could read books, he thought to himself, " _I'm not sure I'll ever get used to these things. It's just not the same. I miss the smell of books."_

Finding the location of his bookmark, he began reading where he had left off in Mary Shelley's  _Frankenstein_. He softly read out loud, "I feel exquisite pleasure in dwelling on the recollections of childhood, before misfortune had tainted my mind, and changed its bright visions of extensive usefulness into gloomy and narrow reflections upon self." Pondering the words of the Creature, he looked down at Catherine sleeping peacefully and stroked her hair away from her face.  _"I have reason to believe that this beautiful woman has saved me from a fate similar to that of Frankenstein's Creature. I have found someone to love and love me in return despite the ugliness of my flaws."_

After John had spent some time reading and was quite sure that he would not awaken Catherine, he gingerly pulled himself out from under her sleeping form and placed a pillow under her head before finding a blanket to cover her. Cleaning up his quarters a bit more and looking over some weapons designs on his PADD, John then began to root around in his kitchen to see if he had something to make for Catherine and himself to eat for a very late lunch or rather an early supper. Realizing that he had not done any proper grocery shopping in a couple of weeks and groaning inwardly at the thought of having to eat yet another replicated meal, he quickly slipped out of his quarters to get some takeaway food to share with her.

Catherine rolled over on the couch and woke up once she realized John was no longer with her. Sitting up and rubbing her sleepy eyes, she stretched and called out his name, "John?" She picked up the communicator that he had given her, flipped it open and turned the dial only to discover after hearing a beeping sound nearby that he had left his own on the kitchen counter. "John, are you still here?" she asked loudly as she started to search the apartment. "John!" she rushed back into his bedroom.

John came back carrying a bag of Indian takeaway to discover his couch was vacant. "Catherine?"

"John!" she came rushing out of his bedroom.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to wake you. I went out to get something for us to eat," he smiled sheepishly.

"How sweet of you," she smiled as he helped her onto a stool at the counter. After eating for a while in silence, Catherine put her fork down and wiped her mouth with a napkin before asking, "I heard you think of it once, but if we had met during your time as Khan, would you have wanted me as your Khanum?"

"You would have made a wonderful queen," he beamed. "My people would have loved you."

"Really?"

"Of course, you would have been like a new Mother Teresa to the people."

"Except if I was your Khanum, I would not be a virgin," she blushed.

"No, I would have quickly taken care of that," he grinned causing her to blush even more.

After their meal, the pair spent time working together to finish cleaning up his quarters. Sitting together on the couch once again getting to know each other better, John suggested that they watch something and offered to let her choose. "Have you ever seen  _Doctor Who_?" she asked.

"Of course, it was quite popular during the twentieth century. During my time in university here in London, I did watch it every once in a while."

"Good!" she smiled and proceeded to pull up one of her favorite episodes "The Girl in the Fireplace" even though she knew it would make her cry. "This episode came out a few years after you boarded the  _Botany Bay_ ," she noted as they started watching. By the end of the episode, she, of course, was in tears.

"One may tolerate a world of demons for the sake of an angel," John slightly sniffled quoting the character Reinette, Madame de Pompadour from the episode.

"You are my lonely angel," she kissed him on the cheek.

"I'm no longer lonely with you at my side," he nuzzled his face in her hair. Standing up and holding out his hand to her, he insisted, "Stay with me tonight."

"Okay," she took his hand as he led her to his bedroom.

"Would you like something more comfortable to wear while we sleep?" he asked noting she was in her uniform, boots, and tights. "I have plenty of extra shirts and lounge pants."

"They will be quite large on me, but sure," she nodded.

"Here you go," he opened a drawer and pulled out the articles of clothing.

"No peeking," she smiled and cautioned him.

"I will wait outside the door," he smiled back before leaving the bedroom and closing the door so she could change.

Catherine quickly changed into the clothing John let her borrow for the night. She then opened the door to let him know she was finished and found him with his back towards the door. "Ever the gentleman, John," she touched his back.

"Oh?" he turned around and briefly admired her in his oversized clothing. "We'll see about that," he smiled mischievously scooping her up, twirling her around a bit as she laughed and slightly squealed, and gently plopping her on the bed before jumping on the bed beside her. "You have been an unexpected joy to me in such dark times," he kissed her.

Catherine snuggled up to him wrapping her arm around him and putting her head on his chest. "When I first saw you in your cryotube, I could see and sense that you were so sad and lonely. While I still sense that your heart is full of negative emotions, I am glad to have been able to alleviate some of your grief. Do you trust me, John?" she asked as she slid her hand inside the top of his unbuttoned shirt to feel his skin.

"Yes, Catherine, I trust you fully," he wrapped his arms around her hugging her close.

"Please share everything with me from this point forward. Let me help you and your family."

"I do not want to put you in danger," he protested. "What if Marcus finds out? He could threaten your own loved ones."

"You are one of my loved ones!" she huffed. "Besides, I think he brought me on in order to use my abilities to spy on you. He thinks he's pulled the wool over my eyes. He thinks this is some kind of game. Well, quite frankly, two can play at this game, and I intend to win!" she growled taking John a bit by surprise.

"I suppose there is no changing your mind about this."

"No, nothing you can say would change my mind. I resolved to do this quite some time ago," she lifted her head to look him in the eyes.

"Then I will at least warn you that if you help me and are discovered, you may be tortured, interrogated, imprisoned, and possibly even executed. If the thought of those things do not bother you, then you are welcome to help me."

"I would die for you, John. There's no turning back for me now. I can't imagine life without you. I was starting to lose hope. I threw myself into my work and career to try to fill the loneliness I had felt for so long. I suppose that, like you, I'm afraid to look weak. I have not even admitted this to my dearest friends."

"You have taught me that there is no shame in admitting your fears or flaws. Thank you for sharing that with me. I cannot promise you happiness if you stay with me, Catherine, but I will do everything in my power to keep you safe," he leaned up and kissed her. "Within the next couple of days, we will figure out what you can do to help me and my family. Come, it has been a long week and a long day for both of us. Let us get some sleep."

"Goodnight," she nuzzled into his chest.

"Goodnight," he stroked her hair. "Oh, and Catherine?"

"Yes?"

"I love you. No matter what happens, do not forget that."

"I love you, too, John."


	16. The Children of Earth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Had a good time at the conference I attended last weekend, and it was VERY interesting! Thanks again to my reviewers and followers.
> 
> Listening track selections: "Hold Me Now" by Red, "The Children of Earth" by Ben Foster

Being an Augment and not requiring much sleep, John took the time to stay awake and enjoy having Catherine snuggle up to him and fall asleep. Listening to her quiet breathing and feeling the warmth of her soft body against his own muscular form, he breathed in the scent of her hair and sighed with contentment. Closing his eyes, he thought of the summer home that he had built near the beaches of Kovalam. He could almost imagine smelling the sea breezes and hearing the waves crashing against the shore once again.

" _I would have loved to have taken Catherine there. I did not have enough time to spend there during my rule,"_ he regretted.  _"She would have enjoyed it there, and I would have enjoyed seeing the sun glisten in her hair and to see the darkness of her eyes contrast with the brightness of the sky. And we could have swam together in the ocean like my mother and I did on holiday when I was a child…"_  he thought as he drifted off to sleep.

A few hours later, Catherine woke up due to John gripping her body tightly. He was drenched in sweat and moaning in his sleep. "John?" she whispered.

"No, Kati, run," he mumbled. "Mummy, come back!" he shouted before murmuring a few phrases in Hindi. "I will help you save them," he started breathing heavily. "No!"

"John," she shook him roughly unsuccessfully waking him. "Wake up, John! You're dreaming!" she roughly rubbed his sternum with her knuckles, a method often used to arouse unresponsive patients.

"No!" he sat up suddenly gasping for air. "No," he repeated again as he put his hands to his head and started to weep.

"John, shh, it's alright," she wrapped her arms around him. "It was just a dream."

John sobbed briefly before taking a few deep breaths to calm down, "I know, but even Augments have nightmares."

"Here," she pushed the hair out of his face and wiped the tears off his cheeks. "I'll be right back," she ran to get a cool wet cloth. Upon returning, she gently wiped off his face before laying the cloth over the back of his neck to help him cool off. "Better?"

"Yes, love, thank you," he kissed her hand.

"Do you want to talk about it? Your nightmare, that is."

"I have not had this nightmare since I was a child, but I dreamt of the night my mother died. Kati and I were with her at her lab. There was a fire that broke out in one of the labs, a fire that to this day I do not know if it was accidental or intentional. She told Kati and me to run away to get to safety. She wanted to save," he paused closing his eyes in sadness trying to hold back tears.

"Take your time," she reassured him.

"She wanted to save the infants. There were four or five in the one lab sleeping after a session of observation. One of them was my baby brother. She had named him Amit after her grandfather."

"John, you never mentioned that you lost a brother. I'm so sorry."

"Although I was only a child at the time, I was very proud of my baby brother. My mother had made immense strides in her work since my birth, and Amit had shown great promise. His abilities probably would have surpassed even my own. It was also her hope that she had corrected the malformation in the base-pair sequences that cause my periodic struggles with aggression. My mother and the infants perished when the lab complex exploded. I still have a scar on my leg from where some debris hit me as I shielded Kati from the blast as we escaped."

Sensing his emotions, she put her hand on his shoulder, "You loved your brother."

"Yes, very much. I was too young to remember what Kati was like as an infant, so Amit was a new adventure. I often watched him and Kati while my mother was busy. He was such a happy baby. I feel like I almost forgot about him, as if I tried to suppress my memories of him."

"It does happen like that sometimes, but you were also quite young."

"Perhaps he is part of the reason why I have always wanted children of my own."

"Are Augment men and human women able to conceive?" she asked tentatively.

"Of course, Catherine," he kissed her temple. "That is, if it is something you desire."

"Yes, it is. I would be honored to be the mother of your children."

"Just not right now," he frowned knowingly.

"Right," she heaved a sigh. "Our situation is not exactly ideal for rearing children, and it would be pretty hard to hide a pregnancy from our superiors without having to provide some sort of explanation," she laughed lightly. "I would not want to have to lie about the child being yours or make it sound like I had a one night stand with a stranger."

"I know," he smiled, "but hopefully someday we will be free to do what we wish."

"In case you're wondering for future reference, I am on birth control. No need for any contraception when the heat of the moment finally comes upon us," she whispered in his ear before kissing his jaw as she pulled the wet cloth off his neck and flung it across the room.

"My dear, you are so eager," he rumbled deeply pulling her close before lying back with her onto the bed. "Soon, Catherine, soon. I promise," he tangled his fingers in her hair, "your wait will be worth it. Do all Betazoid and half-Betazoid women have a sex drive such as yours?"

"We are very comfortable with our bodies. I personally have some doubts about my physique, but in short, yes, we enjoy such intimacy. Plus, when I reach my forties, I will go through something called the 'Phase.' My sex drive will quadruple for a short period of time."

"Augment women sometimes have a reputation for being frigid. We Augment men, however, are, well, just that. Men."

"Then you are a lucky man," she teased as she snuggled closer before falling back asleep.

The next morning Catherine awoke to find John was already up and banging around in the kitchen. Seeing his silk robe draped across a chair, she pulled it overtop of the clothes he loaned her for the night, and after a quick trip to the bathroom, she went to see what he was up to in the kitchen.

"Good morning," she smiled sleepily. "What are you doing?"

"Morning. I'm trying to find something edible for us to have for breakfast," he fussed as he dug around in his refrigerator. "Do you like yogurt?" he asked as he sniffed a container to see if it was spoiled or not.

"I enjoy yogurt for breakfast quite often. Did it survive?" she laughed.

"Yes, I think it survived exile in the Siberia of my refrigerator," he laughed as he deemed it was good to eat. Finding two unbroken bowls and a couple of spoons, the pair sat at the counter to eat their meager breakfast. "Sorry that I do not have much more than this. We could always use the replicator if you want."

"This is fine, John. I don't need much for breakfast. You're not a fan of the replicators either?"

"No, while the replicator is an amazing invention, the food is just not the same."

"I agree. The technology is still pretty new, too, so hopefully it will get better," she laughed. "I suppose there has been much for you to get used to after missing out on 300 years."

"Yes, I had a lot of catching up to do."

"Anything in particular that you wished you didn't miss?"

"After the horrors of the Eugenics Wars and subsequent World War III, it would have been amazing to have been there for the first successful warp drive run and First Contact. It had to have brought the people so much hope after such grief."

She snickered, "Most people don't know that Zefram Cochrane was a drunk."

"And that he is quoted to have said that he originally was trying to create a warp drive out of the potential for wealth and women," John smiled and shook his head. "He didn't turn out too bad, though, after First Contact."

"It is a curious thing, John, but perhaps those who are best suited to power are those who have never sought it. Those who, like Cochrane and you, have leadership thrust upon them, and take up the mantle because they must, and find it to their own surprise that they wear it well." *****

"Did you specialize in any specific era of history during your studies?"

"I particularly enjoyed studying World War II. I'm not sure what drew me to it, but it was just an era that I found to be fascinating. It was a time that certainly showed the best and worst of mankind."

"That it was. Let us hope we never see the likes of such a time again. One war was enough for me. I sincerely hope nothing happens between the Federation and the Klingons. After all, it is always the women and children that suffer the most," he sighed.

"Yes, they do. Don't worry," she reached over and squeezed his hand, "we'll think of something to protect them," reaffirming him sensing his concern for his family.

"Do you think Dr. Smith can be trusted to help us? He already knows my identity."

"Absolutely, Luke has been nothing but concerned about the entire situation. He can be trusted and has already been trying to weed out Marcus' lies."

"I have an idea, but we will need his help. First, however, we need to find out where Marcus is keeping my family."

"Right, tomorrow morning I will let Luke know about these new developments. He will be as irate as we are about it."

After spending the rest of the morning helping John clean up what remained of the mess in his quarters, he escorted her back to her own quarters so that she could prepare her report for Admiral Marcus in regards to John's incident. Also, as much as they mutually agreed that they wanted to spend their time together, they both felt that it would be beneficial for them to have some quiet time alone in order to brainstorm about possible ways to save John's family.

Monday morning Catherine was glad to find Dr. Smith was already at the lab bright and early before she would have to report to Marcus at 0800. "Luke," she rushed in already flustered, "they're gone!"

"What do you mean?" he walked down the hall towards the room containing the cryotubes with her tagging along. As the door opened, he was greeted with an empty room. "What the hell?"

"I told you they're gone! Marcus had them moved sometime Friday evening after we left for the day. John cracked and made a pretty decent mess of his lab and his quarters. Marcus made me go and check on him. I had a couple young ensigns convinced that John was just sick and that I was handling the situation. I have to report to Marcus this morning about the whole thing. Luke, they have John's sister and nephew. Those people are not just his crew. They're his family!"

"I have to talk to Marcus. That bastard can't just take our entire project right out from under me like this! We're the only ones qualified at this point to care for those people!"

"So you will help?" Catherine slightly wrung her hands.

"Yes, I have to help. God only knows what Marcus might be doing with them."

"How can we convince him to return the cryotubes to their original location and allow us access to all of them without letting on that we know the truth?"

"Well, according to my prior report to Marcus," Dr. Smith started to explain, "our one subject died due to a defect in one of the electrical systems even though you and I know that it was sabotage, and he already knows about the radiation leak in Commander Harrison's cryotube. I will merely tell him that we need to check and monitor each and every cryotube daily to ensure that they do not have the same issues. Plus, let's just say that he is suspicious that I know something that can be used as leverage or blackmail against him."

"I hope it works. John is so worried," she heaved a sigh.

"Don't worry. I will take care of it, and I will report to Marcus on your behalf as well. Go get yourself some tea," he smiled.

Returning with her tea, Catherine paced as she waited in the hall while trying to listen to Dr. Smith making his case to Admiral Marcus in regards to monitoring the cryotubes. She had to restrain herself when she heard Marcus explain, "There must have been some miscommunication. The two cryotubes in your lab were returned to the main storage bay with the others. They're all still there and were never moved."

" _Miscommunication my ass,"_  she thought.

Marcus continued, "I do think your concerns are legitimate, Dr. Smith, given the death of one subject and the radiation exposure that Harrison experienced. I will grant you and Lieutenant Troi access to the storage warehouse where they're being kept, but I expect the two of you not to abuse this privilege. The minute something goes wrong, the two of you are off the project!"

"Thank you, Admiral Marcus. We will not let you down," Dr. Smith assured him.

"I will have the two cryotubes transported back to your lab immediately and will have the information for the warehouse location and access codes transmitted securely to your PADD using an encrypted message. Report to me immediately if anything is wrong."

"Of course, sir." After finishing with Marcus, Dr. Smith left the conference room and found Catherine waiting in the hallway.

"Well? I overheard a little of it, but what did he say?" she asked anxiously.

"Success! We have been granted access. We will have to be very careful, though, because the minute he suspects something wrong, we're both off the project," he explained.

"John knows how to falsify records. I think he will be able to ensure none of our activities are leaked."

"You want to let him see them, don't you?"

"I'm sure he's anxious to see them, to know they are safe and unharmed. I am able to reason with him, but in this instance, I do not think that I will be able to hold him back. He's desperate, and a desperate man has nothing to lose."

"Has he been volatile recently?"

"Yes, he has been quite upset. He's still having those headaches, and the other night he had a nightmare. I do think the amantadine has helped a little, but he's now on the maximum dose. Should we scan his brain again?"

"Not quite yet, I was quite thorough last time. I think it is stress, but keep monitoring him. If he gets significantly worse, we will consider a repeat scan. You can still give him those migraine cocktails if they get too severe. Given his volatile nature, I'm reluctant to start him on amitriptyline."

"Okay, I will keep asking him how he feels. I agree in that amitriptyline may only make his aggression worse. Let's see how our two friends are doing now that they're back safely in our hands," she suggested they perform scans on Nandi and the other man that they had been monitoring and studying.

"Perhaps," Dr. Smith started as he and Catherine scanned the cryotubes, "you would like the honors of visiting the warehouse this evening. If John is capable, he can go as well and make sure to take care of the surveillance systems. You can just do a quick walk-through and make a list of the people in the cryotubes, give them designations for our data."

"Can I go and tell him now? Actually, I'd like to bring him here to discuss our plans between the three of us if you don't mind."

"Go on," he shooed her away. "Go get him," he smiled. "I don't think anything I could say would stop you from hounding me about it."

"Thank you!" she smiled and sped out of their lab to fetch him. Walking into John's lab, she beamed. He was working away as usual at his torpedo designs as she came up behind him and hugged him tightly. "For once, I have good news," she sighed.

Turning around and returning her embrace, he raised a brow, "Oh?"

"The doctor reported to Marcus on my behalf and more importantly was able to convince him to let us have access to all of the cryotubes. All of them, John! I will be able to make sure Kati and Luca are safe!"

"I, uh," he struggled to gather his thoughts. "I don't know what to say!" he smiled. "Other than thank you, of course," he kissed her forehead.

"I didn't have any part in it, but if you would like, you can thank Dr. Smith in person. He wants to discuss you being able to see your family. We want to thoroughly plan this in order to avoid Marcus finding out or arousing his suspicions."

"Right, that would be prudent."

"How did you sleep last night?" she stroked his cheek.

"No nightmares."

"But you had a raging headache, didn't you?" she frowned knowing that he was not divulging everything.

"Yes, I did."

"Luke wanted to hold off on doing another scan of your brain or putting you on an additional medication, but I'm so worried about you. Something is just not right. It makes no sense for you to be in pain like this."

"If Dr. Smith is not concerned about it at the moment, then you have no need to worry yourself either," he insisted.

"It's just," she huffed, "I don't know what to think anymore, John. Ever since I started here, I don't know what to believe in anymore. Everything is always so backwards and suspicious around here. What if Marcus has done something to you to cause these headaches?"

"But you trust me, Catherine, and I trust you. If nothing else, believe in this. Believe in us," he kissed her gently on the lips. "Keep calm and carry on."

"Aye, Khan," she stood at attention and saluted him. "Let's go," she took his hand before they walked arm-in-arm to the cryogenics lab.

"Ah, Commander Harrison," Dr. Smith smiled as the pair entered the lab.

"Dr. Smith," John acknowledged him back. "Let us keep the salutations brief. We have planning to do," he grumbled.

"Yes, of course. Shall we?" Dr. Smith led the couple to the conference room.

As they all took their seats, John started sternly, "It has come to my attention that you know of my true identity and the origin of the people in the cryotubes you are studying. Catherine insists that you can be trusted to keep this information secure and that you will not knowingly put anyone I love in danger. I trust her judgment given her Betazoid abilities, but know that if you betray us, you will wish you had never been born."

"Rest assured that I only wish to help you. You and your people deserve justice, and I will do what I can to protect them. They are as human as any of us, and they do not deserve to be treated as anything less. When I became a doctor, I vowed to do no harm to my patients, and I intend to stick to that, Khan Noonien Singh," he bowed his head slightly out of respect.

"That is not necessary," John insisted as his demeanor became gentler upon seeing Dr. Smith's resolve and deference. "The past is dead, and my time as Khan is gone with it. Now I am merely a man who wants to save his family. Please, call me John."

"I will do what I can to help."

"Thank you," he sighed with some relief.

"We must be very careful, as I'm sure you already know that Admiral Marcus has eyes and ears everywhere. Catherine, however, tells me you are experienced in handling these technicalities."

"Yes, I have become quite experienced in falsifying records and deactivating his surveillance systems. The technology is easy enough to tackle, but it is the people who concern me. I am always on the alert making sure I am not being followed."

"Have you been followed before?" Catherine anxiously squeezed his hand. "How often?"

"Often enough to know about it. Don't worry, outside of our night out at the restaurant, I do not believe Marcus or his spies have seen us together. I have been very careful to protect you from their prying eyes."

Catherine frowned, "Marcus knows about what happened in the alley that one night."

"Then we need to be all the more careful."

"Commander, if you believe you can ensure that you can disable the surveillance systems and falsify any necessary records," Dr. Smith got them refocused on the purpose of their meeting, "you are welcome to accompany Catherine this evening when she goes to catalogue and do a quick walk-through of the cryotubes in the storage area. She asked right away if I was agreeable to you going with her."

"Catherine," he turned to look at her to find her smiling back at him. "Of course, I can easily disrupt and falsify the surveillance systems. You can meet me at my lab at our agreed upon time under the ruse of checking on me. I will then disable the systems. You can make your way to the location where my family is being kept, and I can use my remote transporter to beam directly to the coördinates so that no one will see me leave my lab."

"Excellent, I forgot about your transporter. It's perfect," she reflected on his plan.

That evening as set forth by John's suggestion, Catherine met him at his lab under the pretense of performing scans on him. Providing him with the coördinates for the location of the cryotubes, she then left to head to that location on foot giving him adequate time to disable the surveillance system. Entering a room that was provided to be the location of the entrance of the storage area, she punched in the access code on her tricorder and had it transmit revealing a hidden door. Just as she was going to enter, the door opened and John walked out of it.

"Looks like I beat you," he smiled. "I guess it didn't take me as long as I thought," he escorted her inside the darkened warehouse. "Lights," he commanded the computer system, "100%."

"Oh, John," Catherine gasped blinking as her eyes adjusted to the bright light as she took in the view of a vast room full of cryotubes. "They only told us there were a handful. I had no idea there were so many."

"This is my family, all of them that are left," he explained as she reached down and took hold of his hand. "Come, I will show you Katrina and Luca," he gently led the way between the rows of cryotubes towards the center of the room before stopping. "This is my nephew," he smiled.

"Hello, Luca," Catherine smiled in turn looking at the school-aged child with dark curly hair.

"He loves to play cricket and rugby with his friends. He wants to be an archaeologist someday. He loves to dig in the dirt. Oh, how filthy he can be at times when he comes home!" he laughed. "His mother is always scolding him."

"Where is she?"

"Over here," he led her to the tube next to Luca's. "I requested that they be moved beside each other so they could be together," his smile faded as he placed his hand gently on the glass. "I'm surprised someone actually listened to me and carried out my request."

Catherine leaned forward to peer inside at the young woman fast asleep. "She's beautiful, John. She looks so peaceful," she noted.

"Kati was always steadfast even during my most difficult moments. Only with the death of her husband did she ever understandably waver out of grief. It's hard to see her looking so peaceful knowing of the darkness surrounding her and Luca at all times, the darkness that threatens to swallow them up and take their lives."

"The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven," she quoted Milton's  _Paradise Lost_.

"Perhaps she is better off sleeping and dreaming of good things. Unlike myself," he put a hand over his eyes trying not to weep.

"John," Catherine wrapped her arms around him in a tight embrace. "I will do everything I can to help you bear this burden."

"Thank you," he took his hand away from his eyes revealing a single tear rolling down his cheek. "Your devotion to me and my cause is unwavering. I feel that I am undeserving of your kindness. I fear that in the end, this situation will only cause you to see how savage I can truly be. These hands," he looked down holding them up, "have killed many men. It is not something that I take pleasure in doing, but I may have to kill many more to ensure the safety of those that I hold most dear. You have already seen what they are capable of doing."

"These hands may be deadly," she took hold of one of his hands and gently kissed it, "but they are also capable of tenderness. You are so gentle with me, John."

"I love you so much that my heart aches. You have awakened in me feelings I did not think were even possible for me to feel, and yet I am afraid of hurting you again and even worse than I already have in the past."

"You won't. I know you won't, and I'm not afraid of you or what you might have to do to ensure your family gets the justice they deserve. I myself may have to do things that I usually would consider to be wrong in order to help you."

"You already lie so much on my behalf. I do not want to turn you into a murderer as well."

"It's not murder if it's self-defense."

"Please, if you must, only do it as a last resort. I do not want you to stoop to the same level as Marcus or myself. I do not want you to become a fallen angel."

"I understand, John, but it is generally accepted that even the angels have free will."

"Then use your free will to protect life, not destroy it lest it destroy you."

"I cannot guarantee it, but I will try only because you ask it of me. Now, introduce me to the rest of your people. I will make a list of them on my PADD, and you can run preliminary scans on them," she handed him her tricorder and medical scanner. "I've seen you playing with them before," she smiled.

"I was curious one day and quickly learned how to operate their basic functions. I will assist you," he smiled taking the equipment from her and leading her through the aisles of cryotubes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter
> 
> In case you were wondering, I attended a conference on brain injury rehabilitation at UPMC Mercy in Pittsburgh. I had the opportunity to learn about something called brain computer interface. It is amazing and sounds very promising! If you're curious, here is a place to learn more: http://youtu.be/76lIQtE8oDY. It is like something straight out of Star Trek!


	17. Paradise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Just a forewarning, I would rate this chapter a strong T for highly suggestive themes but no full-blown smut. If this were a movie, I think it would still get by with a PG-13 rating here in the US. I am considering doing a rewrite especially of the first few chapters, and may change my rating so that this chapter can be written to its full potential if you get my drift. Thanks again followers and reviewers!
> 
> Listening track selections: "Lucky Ones" by Lana Del Rey and "Lost In Paradise" by Evanescence

John and Catherine worked late into the evening making a list of each of the former inhabitants of the  _Botany Bay_  and performing quick diagnostic scans ensuring there were no problems with their cryotubes or health. After finishing and telling Kati and Luca goodnight, given the late hour, John insisted on walking Catherine back to her quarters for her safety. Knowing better this time around, she consented, and they decided upon a mutual location to meet a couple blocks away from the Kelvin Memorial Archives so that they would not be seen leaving together.

As they walked arm-in-arm to her quarters, they discussed some of his people that he had been close to prior to their exile on the  _Botany Bay_. "Would you believe that Otto hates sauerkraut and bratwurst?" he laughed.

"He may be genetically German, John, but he was not raised there, was he?" she laughed.

"No, he was!" John smiled. "He was born out of a different project based in Berlin. He was transferred to the Chrysalis Project as a teen when their funding ran out."

"Were you childhood friends?"

"Yes, a group of us were the best of mates and still are. Well, at least we were until we all went into cryostasis."

"You still are," Catherine tried to encourage him. "I cannot promise anything, but I will do what I can to make sure you see them again."

The pair walked along quietly as John suddenly became aware that he could sense that Catherine was concerned about something. "What worries you?" he asked gently reaching over and squeezing her hand as it rested on his arm.

"Will they like me? Your family, will they accept me?"

"Of course they will. What makes you think that they would not?"

"I'm not an Augment. I'm just a half-human half-Betazoid weakling," she grumbled.

"Catherine, you're ridiculing yourself again," he stopped walking and grabbed her turning her to face him. "I have completely accepted you, have I not? Have I done anything to make you doubt yourself? Anything to suggest that I think you're inadequate?"

"I'm sorry I'm whining again. No, John, you haven't."

"Then rest assured that my people will give you your due respect. They have always and will continue to trust my judgment as their Khan. They would have accepted you as Khanum. Right now they owe you their very lives, Catherine!"

"What about Nandi? Will she forgive me?"

"Ricardo's death was not your fault. Yes, she will grieve his death, but she will carry on as we all have. She and all my people have seen their fair share of death and bloodshed. The others will comfort her, and she will find her strength again. Come, let's get you home. It is getting cold. Hard to believe that winter is already here."

"It will soon be Christmas!" her spirits brightened at the realization.

"You still celebrate that archaic tradition?"

"Of course, John. Why not celebrate a time of giving and peace? This year more than ever we need something to bring us joy."

"Then you are the best gift I ever could have received. When you conquered El Capitan, you did more than conquer a mountain. You conquered a Khan," he smiled as they continued their walk to her quarters. "Could I ever have been so lucky?"

The rest of their week was rather uneventful. Catherine and Dr. Smith continued their work monitoring John's family and friends while John continued to work away on the photon torpedoes that had continued to be a thorn in his superior's sides. Saturday morning, John contacted Catherine via communicator. "Good morning, John."

"Good morning. I wanted to know if you would like to join me for a jog and practice sparring this afternoon. I am still technically in charge of training you, so it would be alright if we're seen together in that capacity."

"What an excellent idea! I have been slacking lately in keeping up with my fitness."

"Then I will see to it that you slack no more. Meet me at 1500 at Hampstead Heath. I will contact you with an exact location once you arrive. You may want to bring something warm to wear when we're finished else you get too cold."

After eating some lunch and spending a short time reading, Catherine got dressed in her Starfleet issued training uniform, grabbed a coat, and made her way to Hampstead Heath. As promised, John contacted her with the coordinates of the location to meet him. Making her way into the indicated wooded area, she noted how oddly quiet things seemed. Sensing that she was being watched, she quietly continued onwards with confidence in her steps lest she appear a weak, easy target. Suddenly, she heard a shout from right behind her as someone grabbed her from behind.

Switching into defensive mode, she grabbed her assailant's arm with one hand digging her nails into their flesh as she used her other arm to ram her elbow into their ribs. Managing to break free, she turned around to discover her assailant was a man with a masked face. She quickly kicked him hard in his shins bringing him to his knees before kicking him in the gut. Picking up a rock, just as she was about to bash the man in the head, he removed his mask and shouted, "Stop!"

"John!" she gasped dropping the rock. "What the hell?"

"You did wonderfully," he beamed while rubbing his ribs with one hand and slicking his hair back with the other. "Granted I took it easy on you and allowed you to believe you had the upper hand, but if I were a mere human, I would have been in quite a bit of trouble."

"Are you alright? Did I hurt you?" she frowned as she helped him to his feet.

"Of course not, Catherine, you haven't the strength," he walked behind her and gently started to fix her ponytail that had fallen loose during their skirmish. "You have learned well."

"I've had an excellent teacher, though you do quite seem to enjoy trying to scare me to death, don't you?" she grumbled.

"You may have been neglecting your training, but you have become stronger since we first started," he finished tidying her hair and walked around to face her.

"Thank you," she blushed as he tipped her chin up to kiss her.

"So, shall we begin?"

"Yes," she quickly pecked him back before he took her hand leading her to a trail where they could jog together.

After jogging a couple of miles, he led her to a clearing where he picked up a bag containing his belongings. "Thirsty?" he asked as he pulled out a bottle of water.

"Yes, thank you," she grabbed it and took a few gulps.

He leaned up against a tree and slid down it sitting on the ground, "Come, sit with me," he folded up his coat putting it next to him on the ground for her to sit. Heeding his command, she sat next to him pulling her coat onto her lap and leaned against him. "I am curious. I have heard of a simulation, a no-win scenario, that cadets take part in at Starfleet Academy. Tell me, did you ever participate in the Kobayashi Maru?"

"Yes, not in the position of command, of course, but I did volunteer to be a crew member for some of my classmates' exams," she explained as she played with the fabric of his pants on his thigh. "What would you like to know about it?"

"As you can imagine, during my rule as Khan during the wars, I was often faced with the possibility of no-win situations. Catherine, I can make no guarantees about what may happen to us."

"I know, John. Do not feel the need to burden yourself with what you cannot control."

"I do not want to sound pessimistic, but, if we do face such a situation together and you have the opportunity to escape, I want to you run and not look back."

"Don't talk like that!" she slapped his knee. "I will stay at your side no matter what happens."

John pulled her closer to his side. After a couple of moments of silence, he asked, "Do you know that your name means 'pure?' You are so pure, and I fear that I am tainting you."

"You're doing no such thing," she insisted.

"You are completely different since we first met that fateful day you helped to reanimate me. You were so naïve, so innocent. I have turned you into a liar, a collaborator, and I have even heard you say that you would be willing to kill. You have done nothing to deserve being sullied like this."

"John, no one, including you, has forced me to make the decisions I have made. No one made me join Section 31. No one has forced me to lie. I have done all these things on my own accord. Yes, I may have been a bit more naïve when I first met you, but we all have light and darkness inside of us. Some are just better at reigning in the darkness. I have no regrets. Now, I will hear no more of this grim talk. Do you have your PADD with you?" she asked as she slid down to put her head in his lap.

"Yes, it is in my bag here."

"Then read to me, John. I love hearing your voice," she smiled as she looked up at him.

"What would you like me to read?" he pulled his PADD out of his bag.

"It does not matter. Whatever you're currently reading is fine."

"Very well," he turned on the device and pulled up his latest book. He started to read while stroking her forehead, "Grace was in all her steps, heaven in her eye, in every gesture dignity and love."

" _Paradise Lost_?"

"Yes, I find it a tragic but beautiful work."

"Because you relate to it," she noted to which he nodded his head in agreement. "Keep reading," she sighed sleepily as she pulled his free hand to her chest and held it there. Reveling in the deep tones of his voice, she fell asleep.

Putting his PADD back in his bag, John let her sleep as he sat and admired her sleeping form. After letting her nap a while, he gently stroked her face to stir her from her sleep as it was starting to get dark. "Wake up, lovely. It is getting quite dark out," he gently lulled her awake.

"Hmm?" she rubbed her eyes. "Sorry, I fell asleep."

"No need to apologize. You work very hard during the week and need your rest. Are you hungry?"

"What time is it?" she asked as her stomach slightly growled.

"You are hungry," he laughed hearing her stomach. "Perhaps we should have started earlier. I forgot about it getting dark early. It's 1700," he noted as he rooted around in his bag. "I came prepared just in case. Here," he pulled out an apple and a couple of granola bars for her as she sat up. "It's not a buffet, but it will be filling."

"It's perfect," she took the food items and started munching on the apple as he pulled out some food for himself. As they quickly finished their small meal due to the ever-darkening skies, Catherine noted, "I never enjoyed this aspect of winter." She pulled on her coat, "Dark all the time and cold."

"And wet," John groaned getting up off the ground as it started to rain. "We better get going. Shall we go back to my quarters? It is dark enough that we should not have to worry as much about being seen."

"Sure," she agreed as he helped her off the ground.

The pair quickly gathered their belongings before walking out of the wooded area only to be greeted with a sudden downpour of a cold winter mix of rain and snow. "Come," John urged her on as they broke into a run to find adequate shelter. "Over here," he led her to a small pavilion. "You're drenched. I'm sorry. I should have planned this better," he apologized.

"No, it's fine," she smiled as her teeth chattered. "Sometimes it is good to mix things up a little. It keeps life interesting."

Once the precipitation died down a bit, they continued on their way back to his quarters. "Go on and get a hot shower. You can wear some of my clothes while yours dry," he instructed her. "I will make us some tea," he stated as he pulled off his boots.

Catherine nodded and, following his instruction, went to his bedroom to root through his clothes. After picking out something to wear, she went and got a hot shower. While she showered, John changed into dry pajama pants sans shirt and started to make their tea. Finishing her shower and getting dressed, Catherine walked into John's living room wearing nothing but one of his button-up shirts and her underwear, which she was thankful that they somehow managed to stay relatively dry. John gazed at her with his mouth slightly agape. "Something wrong?" she laughed as she took a sip of tea.

"No, not at all. Just a bit surprised. You're still chilled," he noted as she snuggled up beside him on the couch.

"Then keep me warm," she set her tea down on the coffee table and pulled his arms around her. "Hmm," she hummed happily. "I feel so safe in your arms."

"Again, I am sorry about the rain and snow. Did you enjoy yourself, though, this afternoon?"

"Of course, I especially enjoyed you reading to me. Your voice is so calming. And it does things to me," she whispered in his ear as she stroked his inner thigh close to his groin.

"What exactly do you mean?" he rumbled deeply a bit unsure of her meaning.

"Oh John, please, I'm ready. My Khan, please do not make me wait any longer," she pleaded with him as she kissed along his jaw.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, completely sure," she sighed as she straddled his lap.

"I might not be able to stop myself, so I must caution you," he warned as she leaned in close to his face. "Such men dare take what they want," John pressed his lips to hers unleashing the pent-up passion he had been harboring for her for weeks. She equally returned his kiss tangling her fingers in his hair as she usually did when they kissed before resting her hands on his bare chest. As his hands roamed her body, upon reaching the buttons on his shirt that she was wearing, she suddenly pushed away.

"I'm sorry, but I can't," she fought back tears.

"But I thought you wanted this. Forgive me, I thought you were ready," he sat back and held up us hands as if to show that he would not harm her.

"I do want this, John, more than anything in the galaxy," she scooted off his lap and looked at the floor in embarrassment fearing she had insulted him.

"Then why do you hesitate? Why not act upon your desires?"

"For so long I've wanted to be close to you. Now all I want to do is crawl away and die. I'm afraid," she admitted, her voice cracking a little.

"I promise that I will do my best not to hurt you."

"No, I'm not afraid of that."

"Of Marcus finding out?"

"Of myself," she sighed and crawled closer to him folding her legs beside her on the couch as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"Pardon?" he wiped away the tear.

"Imzadi."

"Imzadi?" he slowly repeated the word foreign to his lips.

"It's a Betazoid word which loosely means 'the first.'"

"Catherine, it is perfectly fine that you are a virgin. Like I said, I will do my best to be gentle and not to cause you pain," he gently embraced her and touched his forehead to her own.

"No, John, although I am admittedly nervous as you would physically be my first, it's so much more than just the physical act of sex. While Betazoids are capable of casual sex, it means that if we were to consummate our love, you would be the first to ever touch me deeply, both mentally and emotionally. If I were to be paired with you, it would link us and bond us together into one. We very likely would share a telepathic connection. I already can read some of your thoughts. John, I know that humans can handle this, but with your augmented abilities, I do not know what it might do to you. If something were to happen to tear us apart, I wouldn't want this to end badly and leave you with that burden. You love and feel emotions so deeply, and I wouldn't want to hurt you just as deeply," she hugged him and held him closer. "It might drive you mad and destroy you."

Standing up, he insisted, "It's a risk I am willing to accept. You forget that I am better."

"At everything," she completed his sentence as he pulled her up off the couch.

"Marry me," he pulled her close to him.

"John?"

"As soon as we can, marry me!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Catherine, you know my heart," he took her hand and put it to his bare chest before cradling her face and looking her in the eyes. "Do you sense any fears or deceit, any doubts?"

"No, none, not one."

"Well? What is your answer?"

She leaned in and whispered, "You already know it," in his ear sensing that for the first time he could truly start to read her thoughts. She pulled away from his ear and looked into his eyes as she rested her fingertips on his wrist. He stared intensely into her eyes. She could feel his pulse starting to race and noted his eyes dilating before he once again scooped her up and passionately kissed her before carrying her to his bedroom.

"Imzadi," he exhaled in the darkened room as they parted their lips after kissing again.

"Yes, my love?"

"Your answer is 'yes,'" he panted before finishing the work he had started on unbuttoning the shirt. She reached grabbed at his crotch before she started to try pushing his pants down. "Hold on," he took her hands stopping her. "I'll give and you receive. I like being the dominant one," he smiled deviously. "Tonight is about you. In the future, I will teach and allow you to pleasure me as well," he noted before making love to her.

"Oh, John," she mewed in his ear as they climaxed together before he briefly collapsed in a heap on top of her.

Rolling off of her onto his side lest he fear he smother her, he pulled her close as they lie in a tangle of sweaty limbs. "Was that good for you, my love?" he asked sincerely concerned whether he had satisfied her or not.

"It was beautiful, Imzadi. Better than I ever hoped. Did I please you?" she asked as she suddenly became self-conscious and tried to pull the sheet over her to hide her abdomen, an area that she always felt she had to hide.

"You are perfect," he grabbed her hand and pushed the sheet away. "So soft and feminine," he ran his hand over her slightly plump belly. "You have completely pleased me in every way. I only hope that I did not hurt you."

"A little uncomfortable at first," she admitted as she rolled on her side to face him. "But that is only normal. Besides, it will only get better," she grinned seductively as she stroked his bare backside.

"Still ever so eager," he grinned back as she yawned. "Get some sleep. We can resume this in the morning," he kissed her forehead.

The pair slept soundly in each other's arms through the night, and for the first time in recent history, John experienced no nightmares or restless sleep. As the early morning light shone through the small window of his bedroom, Catherine awoke as she felt him stirring beside her. Feeling his lips gently kiss the curve of her hip, she sleepily asked, "What are you doing?"

"Memorizing your curves," he replied as he gently stroked her side. "No matter what happens, I do not want to forget these past few hours we have spent together."

" _I do not want to forget either,"_  she thought to herself seeing if he could communicate with her telepathically.

Hearing her thoughts, he paused his attentions to her form and responded,  _"So this is what it is like?"_

" _Yes, Imzadi,"_ she smiled taking his hand and weaving her fingers between his own.

" _This is so intimate. I have never felt so close to someone before."_

" _Do not be afraid, John. It might be unsettling at first, but I believe that you will come to enjoy it."_

" _Like I told you, when I took you to El Capitan, I sought to break you. You believe in me, and yet I'm afraid that I'm the one that's broken."_

" _John, I am not much better. I have nothing to give you but myself, but I will do what I can to be what you need in a lover and companion."_

" _Neither of us belong in Section 31 or in this situation. Sometimes I wish the past did not exist, that we could start over together in a different time and place,"_ he sighed. "Sometimes I feel so lost," he admitted aloud.

"Me, too, but right now, John, I'm lost in paradise. Right now, I feel like we are the only people in the universe," she kissed him. "Make love to me again."

" _As you wish, Imzadi,"_  he thought before kissing her back.

 


	18. The Eternal Vow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: A little fluff before things start to go downhill. We'll soon be into the timeline of Into Darkness...
> 
> Listening tracks: "The Wedding of River Song" by Murray Gold, "The Eternal Vow" by Tan-Dun and Yo Yo Ma

After their morning romp in bed, John suggested that they shower together and then have some breakfast to which Catherine readily agreed. As she sat munching on a pear, her hair still wet from their shower, he watered the plant she had given to him. "Do the blooms of this plant usually change like this?" he asked noting that the color of the flowers had changed. "They were red before, now they're gold."

"Yes, they start out red, turn golden, and then die before starting all over again," she explained. "Beautiful, isn't it?"

"Very unique. I suppose the flora and fauna of other planets are different from those of Earth. I still have much to learn."

" _Different, yes, but in many aspects the same,"_ she seductively took another bite of the pear.

" _Don't start something you can't finish,"_ he teased back with a glare.

As John sat down to join her, she asked quietly, "Did you mean it, John? Last night, did you mean it when you asked me?"

Reading her thoughts, he knew she was referring to marriage. "I meant every word, Catherine," he reached across the counter and squeezed her hand. "We have planning to do, that is, if you still will have me."

"Of course I will have you," she scolded him. "We just have to figure out the logistics of it," she smiled.

"I do have an idea, but I need to confirm some details first before I run it past you."

" _I cannot wait to hear your proposition."_

" _I will make you wait no longer than necessary,"_ he smiled.

After spending the morning together spooning on his couch watching a couple of classic movies that he selected, they had lunch before Catherine reluctantly went home to her quarters. The next day, the pair struggled to resume life as usual after their weekend of bliss together. Catherine was glad that at least her job continued to consist of daily visits to John's lab to check up on him.

One morning as she went to enter the lab, punching in the access code and finding the door would not open, his voice came over the intercom, "Just a moment, Lieutenant Troi. I will be with you shortly."

" _That's a bit odd,"_ she thought and waited per his instruction. Finally the door opened. "What was that about?"

"Sorry, I was having a brief conference with Marcus," he sighed. "Had to put on a show," he rumbled pulling her close and kissing her.

"For a second there, you had me confused. Is he giving you a hard time?" she frowned.

"What else is new?" he frowned in kind. "But, I did get some important information that we can use to set in motion our plans of getting married."

"Oh?"

"Marcus needs me to report to Delta Vega later this month to meet with some engineers."

"The mining colony?"

"A mine colony that also happens to be the location of a secret Section 31 base."

"I see. How does this benefit us?"

"I have not traveled in space since being reanimated. Do you not think it would be prudent given my history of post-neural shock syndrome and unstable emotions for a medical provider to accompany me? It would not go well for a top Section 31 agent to have a complete mental breakdown and possibly go on a rampage of destruction."

"John, you're brilliant! Perhaps you should have another fit just to solidify the need for it. Just make it a little one this time, though, lest Marcus cancel the plans," she teased.

"That's a good thought. I will definitely consider it. Now, where exactly should we go to get married?"

"Well, I have always wanted to be married on Betazed. The traditional Betazoid ceremony is so beautiful, intimate, and romantic," she sighed.

"Ah, yes, I have read up on that. Sounds lovely," he flatly commented.

Sensing the discomfort in his voice, she asked with a chuckle, "But it's not exactly your cup of tea?"

"Although I have no reason to be ashamed for either of us as I am a prime example of maleness and you are simply stunning, I just do not exactly like the idea of parading around nude in front of everyone."

"It's okay," she smiled. "I was teasing. I don't completely like the idea of it either. I may have many Betazoid characteristics, but my modesty is not one of them. I've only been to one Betazoid wedding in my entire life. Thankfully the nudity was optional, but it was kind of awkward sitting there fully dressed! Besides, there's too much risk that someone might recognize me there. I have a rather large network of extended family and acquaintances on Betazed."

"Then where else shall we go? Earth is crawling with Section 31 operatives."

"Risa?"

"The Pleasure Planet?" he snorted.

"Las Vegas was a popular destination in your time for speed weddings, was it not?"

"Yes, I suppose it was," he shook his head in amusement.

"Then why not Risa? We could easily blend in there and accomplish our goal of marriage with no questions asked by those presiding over our ceremony."

"Well," he hesitated.

"A small fee and no questions asked, John. And you can easily falsify the shuttlecraft records to account for our delay in returning. Risa is on the way back from Delta Vega. Our shuttlecraft might experience an unexpected malfunction causing us to land for repairs."

"But you deserve so much better, Catherine," he frowned. "You deserve more than a short, fat Ferengi in an Elvis costume presiding over your wedding day."

"Imzadi," she laughed, "there are many options for ceremonies on Risa. I know you want it to be much more special, and trust me, I do, too. Once things settle down, however, we can have a real ceremony with our friends and loved ones. For now, what matters is that we are together, John."

"Perhaps you are right. Making our eternal vows to each other is what matters the most," he thought before smiling. "It's a bit ironic. Who would have ever thought that the great Khan Noonien Singh would be getting hitched in a shot-gun wedding at the Intergalactic Chapel of Love on the planetary version of the Las Vegas of the Alpha Quadrant?"

"It's not exactly on the top of a young girl's list of dreams growing up either," she laughed. "Although, snagging oneself a prince does rank rather highly," she stroked his cheek with her thumb.

"You go ahead and suggest to Marcus that you should accompany me. He will probably disagree at first, after which I will have my little outburst. He will then almost assuredly change his mind."

"What if this does not work?"

"Then we will just have to figure something else out. Do not worry, Catherine. I will marry you one way or another," he kissed her gently. "Go on back to the lab, Imzadi. Do not keep Dr. Smith waiting."

" _It makes me happy to hear you call me that,"_ she smiled.  _"I love you, John."_

" _I love you, too, Catherine,"_  he pecked her on the forehead before she took her leave.

Catherine walked back to the cryogenics lab and started to think through how best to convince Admiral Marcus to let her go with John to Delta Vega. She knew it would not be hard to convince Dr. Smith on the issue, and that actually it may be a good idea to talk to him about it first so that he could back her up on the issue if needed. After doing a quick scan on the pair of crytoubes and their occupants in the lab and writing her daily report on John's progress and health status, she went to find Dr. Smith to talk to him about the potential trip to Delta Vega.

"So, how's Commander Harrison doing?" Dr. Smith asked before sipping his tea.

"He's quite well today," she smiled glad to be telling the truth for once.

"And his family? I see you both worked quite late Friday evening. Excellent work," he perused the list of names they tabulated. "It's nice to have names to put to faces. It makes it easier to relate to them. By and large, they all seem to be doing well."

"He was so happy to see them especially his sister and nephew. I only wish we could liberate them completely."

"Hopefully someday they can be free. It is good, though, that he can at least physically see and be reassured that they are safe."

"So, I need your opinion and possibly your help on something, Luke," she sighed.

"What can I do?" the doctor smiled.

"Marcus wants John to go to Delta Vega later this month. He hasn't experienced any space travel since we reanimated him. Don't you think it would be wise for one of us to go with him?" she hinted.

"Ah, I see what you mean," he got the hint. "As Marcus seems to go on with thinking that we believe that John is still experiencing the effects post-neural shock syndrome, I do not think that it would be hard to convince him from our standpoint that it would be prudent to have you go with him. If you don't mind me asking, what exactly do the two of you have in mind for your little trip?"

"We just want to spend some time together away from all of this without worrying about watchful eyes," she once again found herself lying.

"I suppose you could both use a little vacation. I'm often running off to conferences while you're stuck in this hole in the ground keeping everything in order. The two of you have certainly taken to each other," he noted.

"We just understand each other very well," she explained. "And I think he finds me a welcome refuge. He's under a lot of pressure."

"Quite true, that he is. Do you think anything more will come of your friendship?"

"Pardon?" she choked on her tea.

"Well, you know, something romantic."

"Oh, well, I don't know. Our current situation isn't exactly ideal for something like that. Besides, it wouldn't be professional of me to be romantically involved with one of my patients."

"I'm just saying, though, if things did turn romantic, I would not judge you or rat you out," he put his PADD down. "I sincerely mean that, Catherine. You both deserve to be happy if that is what you want."

"You really do mean it," she sensed that he was not lying.

"Of course, I do," he laughed. "Let's see what we can do to get you on that shuttle with him to Delta Vega."

"Thank you, Luke," she smiled. "I'll go work on my message to Marcus requesting his permission to go with John."

Catherine quickly set to work typing up her letter on her PADD to Admiral Marcus eager to get things moving so that she and John could finalize their wedding plans:

" _Admiral Marcus, upon doing my morning assessment of Commander Harrison this morning, it was haphazardly brought to my attention that you wish for him to go alone to Delta Vega for an assignment. Given his recent instability and his ongoing post-neural shock syndrome symptoms, I believe it would be most wise to have a medical professional accompany him during his mission to monitor and treat him accordingly. Dr. Smith will be unavailable but is in agreement and comfortable with me accompanying Commander Harrison. I am sincerely asking your permission to join the commander on this excursion to Delta Vega, as I am quite concerned that he may experience adverse effects from space travel on his overall health and wellbeing without medical monitoring and treatment. I would not want to see him end up experiencing a psychosis and harming anyone. Not only would it be negative for his health, but also it would poorly reflect on Section 31 and risk exposure of our top-secret programs. If you are in agreement with me going with Commander Harrison, please advise me soon so that we can all plan accordingly."_

Reading over her message a couple of times and revising it, Catherine took a deep breath and sent the message to the Marcus. "Here goes nothing," she thought aloud.

A couple of weeks passed by with no reply from Admiral Marcus. Catherine started to wonder if she should cue John to have a fit, but Dr. Smith urged her to give Marcus a couple more days to respond, as he was busy overseeing the end of the fall semester at Starfleet Academy. "Oh, by the way," the doctor noted one afternoon, "I've been asked by one of my former colleagues to consult on a case at the Royal Children's Hospital. Prior to starting here I worked in pediatric rehabilitation. Would you like to come?"

"Sure, what is the situation?"

"One of the officers working here at Section 31 has a nine-year old daughter who has taken very ill out of the blue. They are not entirely sure what is wrong with her, and the prognosis is not very good. They want me to at least help them decide what kind of adaptive equipment may benefit her and help her function to the best of her ability while she is still able to cognitively function."

"That's so sad. I will come, though, to see what I can do to assist you."

"Good, we'll go this afternoon after lunch."

Dr. Smith and Catherine traveled to the Royal Children's Hospital as planned to see the patient for which his former colleague had consulted him. "Dr. Russell, this is the nurse currently working with me on my present research project, Lieutenant Catherine Troi," he introduced her to the physician. "Catherine, this is Dr. Michael Russell."

"Nice to meet you," the pair shook hands and shared niceties.

"So, Mike, what can you tell us about the patient?"

Pulling up the patient's chart, Dr. Russell started briefing them, "This is Lucille Harewood, daughter of Starfleet officer Thomas and his wife Rima Harewood. She is nine years old and a previously healthy young lady. Very bright and one of the top students in her class, Miss Harewood was also very athletic and enjoyed field hockey. About a month ago, she started to complain of weakness in her lower extremities. Her parents started noticing her stumbling more often and walking with an abnormal gait. I saw her as an outpatient for an office visit about a week and a half after her initial symptoms. We have run multiple diagnostic studies including genetics. While the genetic studies did show some anomalies, none of them explain the rapid neuromuscular degeneration we have seen in a matter of weeks. We're waiting for a Denobulan infectious disease specialist to arrive to see if she can detect any outside causes for her condition, but for now, we're completely at a loss."

"I take it her prognosis is poor," Dr. Smith frowned.

"At this point, this condition is going to be terminal. We've tried everything we know of to try to slow down the degenerative process, but her body is not responding. Eventually she will need to be put on life support to help her to breathe."

"Has her cognition suffered?" Catherine asked.

"As you can imagine, she is physically exhausted. When she is not attending therapy, she sleeps. We're trying to counteract the toxins from her muscle tissue breaking down in her system to help protect her brain tissue, but unfortunately there has already been some noticeable cognitive deficits," Dr. Russell explained.

"Well, we'll do what we can to help her keep her ability to function at an optimum level as long as possible using the best technology we have," Dr. Smith promised.

Later that afternoon, Dr. Smith and Catherine made their way back to their lab following their bedside visit with Miss Harewood. "It's so sad," Catherine noted. "Mrs. Harewood is so devastated, but she is trying her best to stay strong for her daughter. I cannot even begin to imagine how helpless the Harewoods feel."

"Hopefully the Denobulan can find something significant as to the cause, but at least we can do something to help," Dr. Smith replied.

Upon returning to the lab, Catherine pulled out her PADD to see that she had a message awaiting her from Admiral Marcus.  _"Oh boy,"_ she thought nervously as she opened the message.

" _Lieutenant Troi, forgive me for the delay in replying to your message, as I have been quite busy officiating numerous proceedings marking the end of the semester here at Starfleet Academy. I initially was going to deny your request to accompany Commander Harrison to Delta Vega, but after rereading your message, consulting with Dr. Smith, and much thought, I have decided that your reasoning is sensible and sound. You seem to understand Commander Harrison better than anyone else here at Section 31, and you are quite familiar with his medical condition and needs. You would be able quickly recognize any changes in his condition or demeanor that may indicate a medical emergency, or worse, a potential psychological breakdown. Forgive me, as I do not believe I have told you this before, but I commend you on your work with Harrison's care and the cryogenics project. My office staff will be sending you your travel orders in the next couple of days enabling you to accompany him to Delta Vega next week. As always, let me know if there are any changes with his behavior that I need to know about."_

"Well, that was easy," she thought aloud.  _"A little too easy. Regardless, I need to go tell John!"_

"Whoa, where are you going in such a hurry?" Dr. Smith laughed and asked as Catherine almost ran right into him.

"Sorry!" she apologized with a smile. "I'm headed to Delta Vega next week! Thank you for speaking on my behalf. Marcus reported that he consulted you on the matter."

"You're quite welcome. Harrison should be just fine, so it will be a nice little time away for you. Go on and let him know."

With Dr. Smith's blessing, Catherine ran to John's lab and let herself inside. "I take it you have good news?" he asked as she rushed inside with a smile on her face.

"The best news I've received in a while. I'm going with you to Delta Vega, John."

"Excellent," he smiled hugging her tightly and spinning her around a couple of times before deeply kissing her. "You're happy, but something concerns you," he noted sensing her emotions.

"I'm beyond happy, but it just seems like it was a little too easy to convince Marcus."

"Look at it this way. Either he suspects something, or, you have him thoroughly convinced that I am a mess that needs monitored at all times."

"Well, even though he lied about you having post-neural shock syndrome, you did genuinely have a fit that he witnessed. I did mention that it would not be good for you to have a mental breakdown and possibly expose the work being done by Section 31."

"Right, and regardless, you need not worry yourself as I am constantly on the alert and one step ahead of Marcus and his allies. Now, the next couple days, I want you to focus on your work and think about what you need to pack for our rendezvous," he smiled.

"As you wish, Khan," she whispered in his ear before kissing him on the jaw. "Does it bother you when I call you that from time to time?"

"No, not at all," he stroked her cheek. "It strokes my ego, makes me feel powerful."

"And you like being the dominant one," she purred before giggling.

"You know me so well," he grinned mischievously. "Go on, Imzadi. You have to go sort out what you need to pack."

Catherine quickly received her travel orders and the details pertaining to her trip with John to Delta Vega. The next few days seemed to drag on and go quickly at the same time, and Catherine struggled despite John's admonition to stay focused on her work. Much to her relief, the day finally arrived for her to meet with John at the shuttlecraft they would be taking on their trip.

"Are you sure you have everything you need?" he smirked as she dragged her heavy suitcase behind her.

"I like to be prepared," she returned his snarky tone before winking at him.

"Here," he took the suitcase and easily loaded it onto the shuttlecraft. "Ready to go?" he asked as she fastened her seatbelt for their takeoff.

"Now more than ever!"

After the pair was well on their way, John reached over and took her hand squeezing it knowingly. "What happened last week that has been bothering you so much?"

"Is it that obvious that something is weighing heavily on my heart?"

"Well, it's obvious to me, although prior to physically consummating our love for each other it probably would not have been that way."

"Dr. Smith and I went to see a little girl at Royal Children's Hospital. She is so sick, John. They don't know what's wrong, and everything they have tried has not worked. She's going to die," she held back tears. "We're not supposed to be involved emotionally. We're supposed to be objective."

"It is not a crime to have a heart, Catherine," he reassured her as he leaned across the aisle to give her a quick hug before going into deep thought.

Their time on Delta Vega was short, only a couple of days, much to Catherine's relief as she found the mining colony to be very boring and had no one to talk to while John met with the Section 31 engineers. Also, in order to ensure no one reported back to Marcus, they did not spend much of their free time together apart from meals and when she did her usual scans on him. She also found their time there to be excruciating as she anticipated their tryst on Risa and found herself also thinking of the Harewoods. Finally, the day they both greatly anticipated arrived. Taking their leave of Delta Vega, they quickly made their way to Risa.

Prior to entering orbit, Catherine showed John a handful of wedding chapels that she had researched on her PADD. Mutually agreeing upon one, John navigated the shuttlecraft and landed. Thankfully, the vessel had no official Starfleet markings on it, so they did not have to concern themselves with being asked any questions by anyone who happened to be on shore leave on the planet. Taking only what they needed with them for the ceremony, they disembarked and made their way to the selected chapel.

An old Risian man with an Orion woman clinging to his side welcomed the couple as they entered the chapel. "Greetings," he bowed slightly. "Welcome to Risa. May we be of service to you two young lovers?" he smiled.

"We would like to get married," Catherine shyly replied clinging to John's arm. "Do you accept Federation credits for payment?"

"Excellent! Yes, of course we accept credits for payment, my dear. Let me draw up the license," the Risian pulled out a PADD and after opening the appropriate document, handed the PADD to John to complete his portion of the electronic document. After signing the PADD, he handed it to Catherine.

" _John Smith?"_  she asked looking at his signature.

" _Even though this old fool probably would not report us, I think it is best to use false names,"_  he replied as she hesitated looking at the PADD.

" _I see,"_ she raised a brow,  _"Catherine Rose Tyler it is,"_ she smirked before completing her portion, signing her name, and paying the Risian.

"Miss Tyler, my dear Devna here will help you get ready for the ceremony," the Orion woman came and escorted Catherine away. "Mr. Smith, I will show you to a chamber where you can also prepare yourself."

Once ready, John stood in his deep purple sherwani as Devna led Catherine into the chapel.  _"You wore your sari,"_ John smiled seeing her in the blue and gold garment he had chosen for her months before.

" _It is beautiful, and I know it pleases you,"_ she smiled back.

"Before we begin," the Risian smiled as the couple took each other's hands, "have either of you prepared anything you would like to say to each other?"

"Yes," John replied. "I would like to say something."

"Go ahead, young man."

"Catherine, you know I find it difficult at times to express how I feel, so I hope this is adequate and pleases you," he cleared his throat slightly before starting to recite:

"Part of my soul I seek thee, and thee claim  
My other half: with that thy gentle hand  
Seis'd mine; I yielded, and from that time see  
How strength is excelled by womanly grace."

" _Milton,"_  she replied with a tear in her eye at John's demonstration of sentiment.  _"But you altered the last line a little."_

" _Yes, because it's true,"_  he smiled.  _"Although stronger than the average man, your grace has brought me to my knees."_

Later after the ceremony, the pair boarded the shuttlecraft and relocated to the popular Risian tourist destination Temtibi Lagoon where John had obtained accommodations at a small private beach house for them for a couple of nights. "John, it is absolutely picturesque here," Catherine gasped as he carried her inside.

"I am sorry. This is probably not the honeymoon you dreamed of as a girl," he frowned as he set her down on the side of the bed.

"We're together, and that's all that matters, Imzadi," she smiled as she started to unwrap the sari from her form.

"I have something for you," he knelt in front of her and pulled a small, black satchel out of his pocket. Opening it, he pulled out a gold, chain necklace with a lapis lazuli pendant on the end of it. "I have very little of my personal effects from my rule as Khan, and most of it remains on the  _Botany Bay_  in Marcus' possession. However, I managed to keep this from him," he explained as he climbed on the bed behind her and secured it around her neck.

"Imzadi, it's beautiful," she gasped. "Thank you," she smiled holding the pendant in her hand to admire it.

"A wedding ring would undoubtedly have people asking questions. You can wear this at all times, though, under your uniform, and no one will know."

"This way I will always have a piece of you next to my heart," she climbed onto the bed and started kissing him passionately.

" _Our state cannot be severed, we are one,  
_ _One flesh; to lose thee were to lose myself."_

"You really have enjoyed  _Paradise Lost_ ," she panted in his ear in response to him reciting more Milton as they broke their kiss.

Gazing intensely into her eyes, his eyes darkened with his pupils dilated, he pulled her close and panted back in her ear, "With you, my love, I have not lost but rather have found paradise."


	19. Freedom Fighters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you continue to enjoy this. Want to reassure you that in the future there will be explanations for John's headaches and emotional instability, so hang in there. Warning for sexually suggestive themes in this chapter.
> 
> Listening track selections: "The Plot" by Ben Foster and Murray Gold, "The Resistance" by Anberlin, "Freedom Fighters" by Two Steps from Hell, "All Through the Night" Welsh folksong, and "Valley of the Shadow" by Thomas Newman

Catherine hummed quietly to herself during the shuttlecraft ride back to London from their time on Risa as she played with the pendant John had given her with her fingertips. Despite their unconventional wedding and honeymoon, she could not have asked for more from John considering their circumstances. As she watched the passing stars, John worked on altering their flight records and diagnostic readings to make it appear as if their shuttle experienced a malfunction that would necessitate an emergency stop on Risa to repair it.

"How did you come about this pendant, John?" she asked.

"It was not plundered if that is what you were wondering," he replied defensively.

"No, I did not think that at all. I was just curious, though, where you got it."

"It was a gift. As the wars raged in the north and the east, an older Chinese woman was visiting one of my northern provinces as a refugee. I was out hunting alone when I heard her shouting weakly for help. I found her in a tree with a tiger, just as old and grey as she, prowling at the base of it. There's no knowing how long she had been up there."

"Why didn't the tiger just climb the tree?"

"As I said, he was old. Cunning as tigers can be, he probably decided that it was best to conserve his energy and wait for her to lose her strength and tumble out of the tree. Anyway, the tiger was not about to be easily frightened away from his meal, and by this time, he was getting quite cranky. He turned and attacked me."

"John, what did you do?" she gasped.

"I wrestled with him and had to use my dagger to kill him lest I be killed. After that, I helped her down. She was obviously grateful for my help. After sharing my lunch with her and giving her time to her regain her strength, she explained that the pendant had been her mother's. Her mother managed to survive the Rape of Nanking."

"Oh, what a horrible event that was!" Catherine frowned. "Mass rape and murder. And people had the nerve to accuse you and your people of war crimes!

"Yes, it was an atrocity," he agreed. "As you can imagine, given the circumstances and the personal sentiment behind the pendant, it was of great value to her. She explained that lapis lazuli is the color of the Buddha of Healing, and that her father had given it to her mother in hopes of helping to heal her emotional scars from the war. She insisted that I take it, as she had no one inherit it from her. She proceeded to tell me that she had lost her only daughter as an adult in an accident. As you probably know, China had a strict one-child policy at the time. She believed that it helped to heal her grief from the loss of her daughter."

"She must have felt that you needed help healing just as much as her mother and she did," Catherine reached over gently touching his hand.

"Perhaps. Once she gave it to me and I knew its significance, I vowed never to let what happened in Nanking happen in my empire or even to those with whom we were at war. Women, children, and civilian men do not deserve to be raped, tortured, and hunted down like animals," he spat in disgust as a tear rolled down her face at the thought of the event she had happened to examine in detail during her history studies.

After a few moments of silence, she asked, "Do you think I need healing? Is that why you gave it to me?"

"No, not at all. Firstly, I gave it to you because she requested for me to give it to the woman I loved. Second, although we're not Buddhists, I also think it is fitting to give something to you symbolizing healing and medicine," he kissed her hand. "You have worked tirelessly to help heal me."

"I only wish I could heal scars," she sighed as she got up and gently held his head to her chest. "The headaches are back and worse than ever, aren't they?"

"Yes, they are," he winced.

"Are you sure you cannot think of something that could be causing them? Did Marcus do something to you that you have not divulged to Dr. Smith or myself?"

"I honestly can think of nothing that had happened. As I said, though, I do not recall the exact events that had led to him putting me in cryostasis the second time prior to our meeting."

"John, what am I going to do with you?" she kissed the top of his head. "Let me get a hypospray with the migraine medications. I am not exactly trained in piloting a shuttlecraft, and I need you on top of your game."

A few minutes after she injected him using the hypospray and grateful for the relief of the pressure in his head, he sighed, "Thank you."

Sitting down again across from him, she took his hand, "Do you think your headaches would improve if we saved your family?"

"What?"

"Would it alleviate the stress that is probably contributing to your headaches if we whisked your family out of the storage bay and somewhere out of Marcus' reach? They would be safe, John, and you would be free of Marcus' grasp as he would not have them to use against you any longer."

"I have been toying with some ideas," he admitted.

"This has been going on long enough. If we're going to do this, we need to do it soon. I can't stand the thought of seeing you deteriorate from these headaches and the emotional stress. It's been killing me inside, and I'm sure now that you are bound to me you only feel my emotions adding to your own."

"Very well, as soon as we return, we will make definite plans. I will do this for you as much as I'm doing it for them and myself."

"Thank you, Imzadi,"she kissed him on the cheek. "Oh, how could I forget!" she got up and dashed to the back corner of the shuttle containing her suitcase.

"What are you doing?" he asked with slight smile.

Returning with a brightly colored package tied up with a gold bow, she handed it to him and smiled, "Merry Christmas!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't get you anything," he apologized taking the package from her.

"It's fine, John! I did not expect you to get me anything, as it was not something we had discussed, and from what you told me, it was not a holiday that you really celebrated. Now, go on and open it already!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, don't keep me waiting!" she slightly wiggled excited to see his reaction.

John untied the bow and tore open the wrapping paper pulling out four antique hardback books. He went through the pile reading off the titles, " _Frankenstein_ ,  _Paradise Lost_ ,  _Moby Dick_ , and  _A Tale of Two Cities_."

"I had the feeling that you missed the real thing. I myself always enjoyed using real books during my time in the library at Starfleet Academy. I love the smell of the pages," she laughed.

"I actually have never gotten around to reading  _A Tale of Two Cities_. Message, Catherine?"

"None that I am aware of other than Merry Christmas," she chuckled. "It is one of my favorites."

He gingerly opened the cover and turned to the first chapter to read the first lines. "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way," he gently closed the book again as a tear rolled down his cheek.

"John, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to cause you pain."

"No, it's just that, hundreds of years after Dickens wrote this, it is still relevant even now." Briefly clenching his jaw, he resolved, "We will free my family. You are right. Enough is enough, and I will no longer be used as part of Marcus' plans for mass death and destruction. Again, I do not expect you to make any sacrifices to help me with this, but the decision is yours."

"And you already know I have made my decision. I am willing to sacrifice everything, my career and even my life, to help you."

"As you wish," he sighed and returned to his work.

"John," she gently pried the PADD out of his hand setting it aside and sitting on his lap, "I want to teach you a Betazoid relaxation technique. It may help you feel a little more calm."

"I meditate to feel calm."

"And that has clearly been effective," she glared at him.

"I suppose you're right. It has not helped much lately as my mind turns to you and my family."

"I'm going to teach you a technique called plexing. It is very simple. All you need to do is stimulate the nerve cluster behind your carotid artery," she touched his neck in the area she described and started to use her fingertips to rub tiny circles. "You can massage the area or even lightly tap it depending on your preference. Well?"

"I do find this to be somewhat relaxing," he replied. She could feel some of the tension in his shoulders releasing.

"How's about this?" she leaned and started to kiss his neck in the same location.

"Mmm, that's even better," he rumbled closing his eyes. "I think, though, that I would much rather just have sex. It releases much more endorphins than this."

"Are you sure you're not part-Betazoid?" she teased him about his seemingly insatiable sex drive as she pulled away from his neck. "Unfortunately, we're not always going to be able to have sex, and I will not always be available to give you medication to help with the stress either."

"I know, Catherine. In the near future, we may experience prolonged periods of separation. I would prefer not to think about that, but you were wise to teach me this to self-calm and soothe myself if I am experiencing anxiety when you are not at my side."

" _Perhaps, then, given this possibility of periods of separation, we should have as much sex as possible now while we can,"_  she proceeded to continue kissing his neck.

" _I think you are right,"_ he picked her up off his lap and carried her to the back of the shuttlecraft.

Upon returning to Earth, they submitted their reports confident that they thoroughly covered their tracks and that no one, including Marcus, would question their unscheduled stop at Risa. John requested that Catherine meet with him that following weekend so that they could begin planning as to how they could save his family.

"So, how was your time on Delta Vega?" Dr. Smith asked as Catherine walked into the lab the day after their return.

"Well, I definitely would not recommend going there for a vacation," she laughed. "It was so boring. I give those mine colonists a lot of credit, though, for sticking it out that far away from Earth. Thankfully my company made the trip much more enjoyable."

"How did Commander Harrison do with his first space travel since reanimation?"

"He did well until the final leg of our trip home," she sighed with disappointment.

"Headaches?"

"Yes, and they're still getting worse. I gave him a dose of the migraine medications, and I also taught him about plexing, which I hope will help him with some pain relief in addition to helping him relax."

"Good idea, Catherine. Let me know if it helps him out. I heard you had to make a stop on Risa for some emergency repairs," he said before taking a sip of coffee.

"Wow, word travels fast. Who told you?" she grew concerned.

"Oh, no one. I saw it in your reports," he explained.

"How is Miss Harewood?" she asked quickly to change the subject.

"The Denobulan physician arrived yesterday and started running tests. Miss Harewood has not improved, but she has not gotten worse at this point either. They're hoping that they have found a solution to at least slow the progression of her condition."

"I sincerely hope that something can be done," she frowned.

That weekend as previously planned, as Catherine was getting ready and awaiting for John to contact her with where to meet him, she suddenly heard the communicator that he had given her beeping. Flipping it open, she heard John's deep voice, "Are you ready?"

"Well, I think I am. I just have to grab my bag," she explained.

"Go get it and then stand by your front door," he ordered her. "Are you at your door?"

"Yes, what are you doing?" she giggled.

"Stand still," his commanded as she suddenly found herself enveloped in blue light and appearing in his quarters.

"You transported me!" she gaped. "You actually did it, John. You have really perfected that portable transporter. How far can you transport? Have you developed any long-range capabilities yet?"

"I currently can transport anywhere in this system, but I anticipate that I soon will be able to transport even greater distances than that using a formula for transwarp beaming developed by a certain Lieutenant Commander Montgomery Scott who is currently the chief engineer on the  _USS Enterprise_."

"Oh, yes, I have heard of him. Anyways, this will come in handy for our plans, will it not?"

"Yes, it will," he smiled.

"So," she set her bag down on the coffee table and sat on the couch, "you said that you had some ideas."

He sat down beside her with his PADD in hand. "Photon torpedoes, Catherine."

"What?"

"The photon torpedoes I have been working on relentlessly. I think we can use them to smuggle my family out of London, and preferably, off of this planet."

"What will we need to do?"

"As you recall, the inner casing of the torpedoes shields the fuel compartment and warhead payloads from sensors. No one will be able to detect their vital signs while they are inside. I will need your help integrating the cryotubes into the torpedoes."

"John, I'm a nurse, not an engineer!" she spat.

"And there's no need for you to be. I will handle the technical aspects, and you will handle the medical. You have adequate knowledge to help me."

"What if something goes wrong and I can't save them? Are you sure you don't want to ask Dr. Smith for help?"

"No!" he snapped at her causing her to jump slightly in surprise. "While I have no doubts that Dr. Smith can be trusted, I do not want to involve him in this."

"You have been planning this all along, haven't you?" she reached over putting her hand on his arm.

"Yes," he looked down at the floor. "I have been putting much of my time and energy into altering the photon torpedoes so that the cryotubes could be integrated. I have purposely been giving Marcus and his team defective torpedoes to stall and give me more time. Unfortunately, Ricardo had to the pay the price for my defiance." Taking her hand and kissing it, he explained, "Ricardo's death was not your fault because it is I who ultimately have his blood on my hands."

"When can we start?" she quickly asked to distract John from his guilt and grief.

"New Years Eve. Everyone will be distracted, and the next day is a holiday meaning there will be next to no one around."

"Where will we send them?"

"I think the  _Vengeance_ would be a good place for now. There are already eighty torpedoes in her cargo bay. I will simply beam them to the warehouse. We will place the cryotubes inside the torpedoes, and then beam them back. The  _Vengeance_ is almost in running order. My hope is that once she is ready, we will beam there and take my family to a planet where they can be reanimated and safe."

"Do you know if anyone keeps track of the cryotubes in the warehouse other than Dr. Smith and myself?"

"No, no one else does to my knowledge. I have been keeping tabs on the surveillance footage."

"If we succeed, what are your plans for yourself?"

"I am not entirely sure. Regardless, you will come with me, will you not?"

"Absolutely, John," she did not hesitate.

"There's a possibility that Marcus may try to convict you as a criminal. You might not be able to see your family again."

"It is a possibility I have considered. I will miss them, but you are also my family. At some point, we will figure something out to secure our innocence."

On New Years Eve, Catherine gathered her medical equipment to take home with her after Dr. Smith had left the lab. After eating a small supper, John beamed her to his quarters as they had agreed upon earlier that day. "Did you have something to eat?" he asked with sincerity in his voice once she materialized.

"Yes, thank you."

"You're nervous," he cupped her cheek. "You do not have to go through with this."

"No!" she glared at him. "There's no turning back now. Look," she pulled a piece of paper out of the case carrying her tricorder.

"What is that?" he asked as she unfolded it.

"This is Admiral Marcus," she showed him a paper cutout.

"A paper tiger?"

"Yes," she turned on his stove and burned it. "He's lit a fire within our hearts that he will not be able to put out, and it will ultimately be his demise."

John clenched his jaw and nodded his passion renewed to carry out their mission. "Come, I have something I want you to wear," he led her to his bedroom. "I think it is best that we conceal our identities in case we are seen," he explained showing her an all black outfit he had obtained for her to wear.

"Okay," she agreed before starting to strip down.

"I think it may also be best to try to mask your feminine form."

"What?"

"You're too curvaceous, and if we are seen or suspected, I will not have them after you when they realize I have a woman helping me. Take off your bra," he ordered her before proceeding to go ahead and take it off himself. "Hold up your arms," he took a long piece of fabric and started to wrap it around her chest to bind her and flatten her chest. "Can you breathe adequately?"

"Yes, I'm fine."

"I'm sorry," he lightly touched her lips. "I'm humiliating you."

"No, you're not. It's just not exactly either of our idea of a romantic time."

"If all goes well, then I can at least look forward to unwrapping you," he teased to encourage her. "Go on and finish getting dressed," he said before changing his own clothes into a black outfit similar to the one he had gotten for her. He put a coat on her, pulled up the hood, and pulled up the collar on the front of her shirt over the lower half of her face, which doubled as a mask, before doing the same to himself. Handing her a pair of black leather gloves, he instructed, "Gather your equipment and wait for me in the living room."

"Yes, Khan."

Joining her in the living room, he reached under her coat and secured a phaser holster around her waist before handing her a phaser. "Set it to kill. No witnesses, no survivors," he ordered. "Oh, and Imzadi?" he pulled down his mask.

"Hmm?" she responded.

He gently pulled down her mask exposing her rosy lips. "No matter what happens tonight, I want to thank you for everything. I am frightened to think where I would be right now without you at my side. I love you," he kissed her. "If I tell you run, you run and don't look back. Understand?"

"Yes, Imzadi," she nodded. "Oh, John?"

"Yes?"

"Whether we succeed or fail, live or die, I have no regrets. I love you, too," she pulled her bask over her face before pulled up his as well for him. "All my hopes."

John proceeded to transport them to the warehouse, and they quickly set to work. He quickly beamed to the  _Vengeance_  to do a quick scan to ensure no one was on board. Just as he hoped, no crewmen or construction crew were to be found most likely due to the holiday. He then locked onto the coordinates and transported seventy-two torpedoes to the warehouse where Catherine and his family were waiting.

"We will have to get the two from your lab later," he explained upon returning. "Come, we must work quickly."

Naturally, he went to Kati and Luca first. Opening the panel of the first photon torpedo, he reached inside to manually disable the warhead and open the interior of the torpedo tube. Successfully opening it, he carefully removed the warhead before turning to Catherine who had been scanning Kati's vital signs.

" _Are you ready?"_  she asked him telepathically to which he nodded his head in reply. Lifting one end of Kati's cryotube with his bare hands, Catherine used an anti-grav unit on the other end to assist him in placing it inside the photon torpedo.  _"You really did plan this. It fits perfectly. I do not think any alterations will need to be made to the cryotube,"_  she smiled behind her mask.

" _I am pleased that it fits so well. Go ahead and make sure she's okay,"_  he insisted Catherine check Kati again before they closed the torpedo tube back up concealing his beloved sister inside.

" _No changes. She doesn't even know she's been moved,"_  she reassured him.

The pair continued on to Luca repeating the same process before moving on to the other seventy members of John's family in the warehouse.  _"You're getting tired,"_  he noted her eyelids growing heavy.

" _Don't worry. I came prepared for that as I expected this to be a long night,"_  she pulled out a hypospray and injected herself with it.  _"Pure good, old caffeine,"_ she explained causing John to shake his head in amusement.

Finishing the last of the transfers, they prepared to transport each photon torpedo tube individually back to the  _Vengeance_ to ensure that they did not cause any unforeseen malfunctions with the cryotubes. About halfway into the process, while Catherine had her back to John as she ensured one of the torpedo tubes was securely shut, she heard him shout with all his might and fear in his voice, "Vatican cameos!" causing her immediately to drop to the floor as a burst of phaser fire shot over her head.

Crawling around to the other side of the photon torpedo to shield herself from the phaser fire, Catherine reached under her coat to retrieve the phaser John had handed her earlier that night. She could hear the sound of bone snapping after which an unknown male screamed in pain briefly before going quiet.

"Quick, in here!" she heard another unknown man shouting as more footsteps entered the warehouse and more phaser fire ensued.

"Stay quiet!" she heard John shout knowing he had directed his order to her. She got as low as she could with her back against the torpedo so that she could hide but see if anyone approached her. The phaser fire continued with the occasional thud of a body dropping to the floor.

Catherine found herself nervously trying to perform plexing to calm down, but she could no longer stand hiding and not knowing what was going on around her or if John was safe. Turning around, she peered from behind the torpedo tube only to be greeted by a boot to the face. Tasting blood in her mouth, she groaned as the man who had kicked her jumped over the torpedo and started to strangle her before he was hit with a phaser blast and landed on top of her. Pushing the dead man's body off of her, she grabbed her phaser off the floor and slowly stood up from behind the torpedo.

Seeing John fighting off several Section 31 officers, she found herself frozen watching his graceful but strong movements amazed as he sent one man flying through the air. "We need backup!" she heard a man shouting into his communicator. Snapping back to reality, she aimed her phaser at the man using the communicator and shot him before firing at some of the men attacking John as she ran towards his location. Clearing most of the men away from him, as soon as he had the chance, John reached inside his coat to reach the controls to his transporter device.

"No!" Catherine screamed as she was surrounded by blue light and the scene from the warehouse faded from her sight. As the blue light dissipated, she found herself again in John's quarters. "Damn you, John Harrison!" she screamed and kicked over the coffee table before sinking onto the couch and sobbing.

Time passed, how long exactly she could not tell, but to her, it felt like an eternity before a blue light suddenly shone a few feet from her revealing John. He pulled off his hood and mask. Other than a small gash which was already healing on his cheek and a small amount of blood spatter undoubtedly from his victims, John looked no worse for wear. He slicked his hair back out of his face as Catherine got up off the couch and ran towards him.

Much to her shock, he backhanded her across the face and roared, "You disobeyed me, Catherine! You could have gotten yourself killed! You stupid woman!" As she started to sob anew, realizing what he had just done, he gently pulled off her hood and mask to discover her previously bloodied lip and her now bruised cheek. "I'm so sorry," he choked. "Oh, Catherine, I did not mean it," he reached to stroke her cheek causing her to pull away.

"No!" she cried.

"Please, Imzadi," he pleaded as tears filled his eyes. "I'm so sorry. Please, let me help you."

Sensing his remorse and pain, she rushed into his arms, "It's alright, John. I should have listened to you, but I was so frightened not knowing what was happening."

John pulled her close to comfort her before becoming overwhelmed with his own feelings. Gradually sinking to the floor and pulling her with him, he broke down, "I managed to get the rest of the tubes onto the  _Vengeance_  and disposed of the officers' bodies. Oh God, Catherine, what if we failed? What if word gets back to Marcus?"

"Shh," she pulled him onto her lap and stroked his hair as he continued to sniffle and occasionally moan in emotional anguish. Knowing that there was not much she could do at the moment, she started to gently rock him back and forth humming a lullaby before singing quietly:

"Love, to thee my thoughts are turning

All through the night.

All for thee my heart is yearning

All through the night.

Though sad fate our lives may sever

Parting will not last forever.

There's a hope that leaves me never

All through the night."

Calming down, John sat up and again attempted to stroke her bruised cheek as before, this time with her allowing him to do so. "Thank you, Imzadi."

"We can't give up, not after getting this far," she whispered. "You did not let me give up on El Capitan, and I will not let you give up."

John leaned forward and gently kissed her split lip causing her to wince lightly. "Sorry," he kissed her forehead. "I hit you. There is absolutely no excuse for a man ever to strike a woman. I have violated your trust, and nothing I can do can ever make up for that."

"John, you did not intend to hit me. I sensed that because at the last second you restrained yourself realizing what you were about to do. If you truly intended to hurt me, you would hit me as hard as you are able, and seeing what you are cable of doing this evening, you would no question have broken bone. I have already forgiven you, and I will hear no more about it."

"Then let's get you cleaned up and get some sleep," he conceded his voice sounding weary. Getting off the floor and helping Catherine up, he led her to the bedroom. "Sit," he motioned to the edge of the bed before taking off all of his layers until he was nude. "Come," he pulled her by the hand and started taking off her layers. Upon reaching the binding he had wrapped around her chest earlier, he gently loosened the end and began unwinding it. Finally, he had her in the nude as well.

" _I'm sorry, but for once, I do not think I'm in the mood,"_  she nuzzled into his chest.

" _It's quite alright, Catherine, as I am not either. I just need to feel you, the warmth of your soft flesh,"_ he explained.

" _Let's get in bed,"_ she suggested. After crawling into bed, she wrapped her arm around him and put her head on his chest.

As they lay in the dark both full of anxiety, they struggled to fall asleep. John reached up, sensing Catherine sharing his concern, and squeezed her hand whispering, "You are a superior woman. Never forget that."


	20. Infernal Affairs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter title and a section of dialogue were inspired by the Infernal Affairs movie trilogy on which they based the film The Departed. If you don't mind reading subtitles (it's in Cantonese), it is an excellent body of work (and I would unabashedly would love a remake set in London starring a certain favorite British actor of mine). ;)
> 
> Listening track selections: "Overtake You" and "Watch You Crawl" by Red, "A Tyrannical Menace" by Murray Gold

Somehow Catherine and John managed to fall asleep, but what little sleep they did get was restless. Blinking as the early morning sunlight shone through John's bedroom window, Catherine rolled over to find him sitting on the edge of the bed, still nude, with his head in his hands. Pulling off the covers, she, also bare, crawled over, swung her legs over the edge of the bed sitting next to him, and wrapped her arms around him putting her head on his shoulder.

"Morning," he said flatly.

"Morning," she replied. "Happy New Year, although, it is hardly happy," she commented her voice a bit raspy from her nearly being strangled the night before.

"2259. The year has just started, and I already wish it was over," he despaired. Sliding her hand up to the side of his neck, Catherine started to stimulate the nerve cluster behind his carotid artery to help ease his nerves. After she placed a gentle kiss on his shoulder, he squirmed out from under her arms to hold her. John reached over and tilted her chin so he could look her in the face. "You look horrible," he grimaced.

"What?" she took slight offence.

"Your lip, your cheek, and your neck" he gently kissed each of her injuries. "I found your medical equipment that you left behind during our mêlée last night and brought it back with me. Catherine, do I have your permission to help you?"

"Do you mean to give me an injection of your blood again?" she inquired.

"Only if you are willing to accept it," he stroked the hair out of her face.

"Okay, if you think it is best," she conceded.

Not sensing any concerns on her part, John nodded and went to the living room to retrieve her equipment. Upon returning and taking a seat beside Catherine, he withdrew some of his blood as he did the night after their trip to El Capitan and injected it into her neck. "How do you feel? You slept after the last injection I gave you. You were thoroughly exhausted that night."

She paused a moment to take stock of her faculties. "How do you do it? Everything, all of my sensations and emotions, are becoming heightened," she breathed heavily. "Is this what it feels like to be an Augment? How do you not ravish me, lose your temper with me, or physically tear me apart on a daily basis?"

"It is natural for me, Imzadi, but do know that it is a challenge for some Augments once they reach puberty to learn how to reign in their desires and control their emotions."

"Oh," she whimpered suddenly, "I'm sorry, but please, John."

"What, Catherine? I can help you. What do you need? Tell me."

"You. I need you. I feel like I'm going to explode," she squeezed his arm digging her nails into his skin as tears filled her pleading eyes.

"Beg me. Be explicit," he rumbled his voice full of desire.

"Please, John. Please help me. Just make love to me already," she started to become aggressive.

"Do you want me to take you?"

"Yes, or I'll ravish you myself!"

With her response, John growled and pinned her to the bed knowing she could not last much longer without his intervention. "So impatient," he whispered roughly in her ear before thoroughly giving in to her request.

"Imzadi," she moaned lightly in his ear as they snuggled after their morning coupling and the sensation heightening effects of his blood were starting to wear off. "I bit you on the shoulder."

"Yes, you did," he smiled as she traced the imprint she left behind on his skin with her fingertips.

"I'm sorry. John?"

"Yes?"

"I do not think that it would be wise to make a regular practice of me taking infusions of your blood. It turns me into an animal," she blushed.

"Perhaps, if the need arises again, we should mix in a sedative to take the edge off for you. I'm sorry that you had that experience and that you find it unsettling. Everyone reacts differently to Augment blood, and I did not anticipate it being so hard on you."

"But you helped me get through it, and I have a new appreciation of your self-control, John."

"What else is bothering you?" he sensed the hesitation in her voice.

"I just feel like, given what happened last night, that this was somehow inappropriate."

"And since when is making love to my wife inappropriate? No matter what happens, we only live one life, Catherine, and I mean to let nothing stand in my way of living that life with you to the fullest," he kissed her forehead. "What's wrong? Did I say something that hurt you?" he asked hearing her sniffling.

"No, it's just that this was the first time I've heard you refer to me as your wife. Uh oh," she squirmed out of his arms and ran to the bathroom to vomit.

Crawling out of bed, John followed her. Kneeling down beside her, he held back her hair as she spit to clear out her mouth. "Are you alright?" he rubbed her back.

"Yes, I think so. Must be the after effects of your blood."

"Here, you're chilled," he pulled his robe off the back of the door and wrapped it around her. "You feel a bit warm, too," he felt her forehead with the back of his hand. "Back to bed. I will care for you."

"I'm fine, really," she insisted trying to stand up only to feel dizzy.

"No," he scooped her up and took her back to the bed. Putting her down, he bundled her up under the sheets and blankets. "Do you have any medications in your kit for nausea and vomiting?"

"I am, unfortunately, allergic to all the antiemetic medications manufactured by Starfleet. We'll have to just treat this the old-fashioned way."

"Very well, I will get you some tea and biscuits." Returning with the said items on a tray, he noted her face, "You look much improved. The bruising is starting to fade."

"I feel much better, too. Sometimes it is better to let something out than to hold it in," she lightly rubbed her stomach.

Later in the day, satisfied that she tolerated the tea and biscuits with no further episodes of vomiting, John allowed her to shower and to join him on the couch. "Like I said," she continued to insist, "it must have been a reaction to your blood. Now, I will not have you fretting over me anymore today. Besides, we need to focus on the situation at hand."

John sighed, "I hacked into the Section 31 communications records from last night. There is no data indicating that there were any transmissions made to anyone outside of the archives last night regarding our being discovered, but that does not mean there were not reports via word-of-mouth."

"Why were those men there last night of all nights?"

"I do not know. I was confident that I was thorough in covering for our activities, but perhaps I made an oversight."

"Well, for now, I suppose we should just do our best to continue on as if nothing happened. Can you create false medical readings?"

"Of course," he nodded his head. "I can help cover for the fact that you will not have any true vital signs to report due to my family now being on the  _Vengeance_. Also, until things settle down, the other two will have to stay in your lab. If we are confident that no one knows of last night's events, once the ship is ready, we will transfer them before leaving. Besides, I do have something that I can use against Marcus if needed. I would prefer not to stoop to his level, but I will do it if it comes to it."

"What exactly can you use against him?"

"Something he apparently has no knowledge of at this time. Let me just say that it is something dear to his heart."

"You are referring to a person."

"Someone very near and dear to Marcus has been working in Section 31 right under his nose. They have even assisted me at times with my weapons designs."

"Well, that could potentially turn the tables. Why have you never mentioned this or threatened to use this person against him before?"

"Like I said, I would rather not lower myself to his level. Just because he has used my loved ones against me does not mean I should do the same to him."

"John, who is this person? I know you trust me."

"His daughter," he sighed. "She has been working under the name of Carol Wallace. She has occasionally assisted me with the photon torpedo designs."

"Does she know who you are or about your family?"

"Do I sense some jealousy in your voice?" he grinned.

"No," she batted him on the arm. "I just was curious about whether she knows with what she's actually been helping you."

"She's totally clueless, but I do believe she has a good heart unlike her father." Stroking her hair, he smiled, "Besides, if you were in fact concerned, you are far more beautiful than her. You are stronger and more intelligent, too."

"I was not concerned, but thank you," she giggled. "So, how did you know, John? The Vatican cameos, how did you know I would duck?"

"Any good scholar of World War II would know the meaning of the phrase. I had confidence that you were knowledgeable enough to know what to do."

"Well, I'm glad you have enough confidence in me for the both of us," she teased knowing how much he disliked when she belittled herself.

"Sometimes the daylight brings clarity to a seemingly hopeless situation. I feel much better at the moment about what we did last night. Thank you for being steadfast when I gave into my despair last night," he squeezed her hand.

"Want to watch some  _Torchwood_?"

"Sure," he agreed.

Catherine and John returned to their work the next day both doing their best to not let on that something had happened over the New Years' holiday. As Catherine walked into the lab, Dr. Smith asked, "What happened to you?"

"Pardon?" she lifted an eyebrow.

"Your face and neck. Did you and Commander Harrison have a bit of a domestic?" he teased.

"Oh, no! Just a bit of partying gone wrong on New Years Eve," she lied. "Some Tellarite had too much to drink. I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"Well, you know what they say."

"Tellarites do not argue for a reason. They simply argue," she smiled glad to see that Dr. Smith bought her story.

"Was Commander Harrison with you when this happened?"

"Yes, thankfully he came to my rescue, or I might be in even worse shape than I am now."

"You can always count on him to save the day," he laughed.

"Did you do anything special for New Years?"

"Well," he blushed, "I did, uh, go out."

"What's she like?"

"Of course, I can't hide anything from a half-Betazoid," he shook his head. "Her name is Sarah. She's from the colony on Deneva. It's her first time visiting London. I quite like her," he admitted.

"Good, I hope things work out for you," she smiled.

Catherine's morning was going quite well, but John's, however, was going quite bad if not worse. Upon arriving to his lab, he opened the door only to discover that his lab had been raided. Immediately getting a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach, he picked up the broken pieces of the model of the  _Vengeance_  which was strewn across the floor.  _"Kati, Luca, Catherine,"_  his hands trembled.

"Sorry about the mess," Admiral Marcus suddenly appeared on his view screen. "We needed a copy of your designs for the  _Vengeance_. That ship is a labyrinth, and we were having a hard time finding the cargo bay containing your torpedoes. It was a bit urgent, as we detected that they were missing the other night."

"Oh really," John glared. "Did you find them?"

"Odd thing is that we found them in the cargo bay we looked in earlier that evening. Isn't that a bit funny?"

"It's hilarious," he spat sarcastically.

"Come on now, Harrison, lighten up! Besides, I need you to report to my office for a briefing. While you're here, we can have a little toast celebrating the New Year and the completion of the  _Vengeance_."

"What time?"

"Report to me at 1000. We have quite important matters to discuss," Marcus folded his hands and glared at John before the screen turned black.

John crushed the pieces of the ship model that he had in his hands before throwing them at the view screen cracking it. Screaming in anger, John sank to the floor holding his head in his hands as it throbbed. Shortly after, Catherine walked into his lab.

"John, no," she gasped putting a hand to her mouth.  _"What happened?"_  she asked kneeling down beside him.

" _Marcus happened, and the explanation he gave me was undoubtedly a lie,"_  he shut his eyes, the lights in the lab contributing to his headache.  _"I have to meet with him at 1000."_

" _I wish I could go with you,"_ she kissed his temple.  _"I would even go in your stead if I could."_

" _I know, Imzadi."_

" _I will give you some medication to take the edge off of your headache. Then I want you to rest while I get some of this cleaned up. I'll let you know when it is almost time for your meeting with Marcus,"_  she explained to which he nodded his head in agreement.

"Computer, lights 50%," she ordered the lights to be dimmed before administering the medication and starting to clean up his lab. Once the appointed time came near, she stirred him, "John, it's time."

Groaning slightly as he got up, he pushed the hair back out of his face before stopping to admire the work she had done to help clean up his lab. "It looks much improved in here," he complimented before heading towards the door.

"Wait!" Catherine called after him. "Please let me know about your meeting with Marcus. Now I have just as much of a stake in this as you do." John nodded before kissing her and leaving to go to Marcus' office.

"Good morning, Commander Harrison," the same perky secretary that met Catherine the Saturday morning she was summoned to meet with Marcus greeted him outside the admiral's office. "May I help you with something?"

"Admiral Marcus wished for me to meet with him at 1000."

"Oh, I see. I will let him know you are here," she smiled.

" _I'd love to slap the smile off her idiotic face,"_  John thought to himself as she paged Marcus.

"Go ahead in," she winked flirtatiously at him.

John started to head towards the door before turning around. Bending over the secretary's desk and getting into her face, he growled, "You disgust me."

"Oh," she turned pale as he walked away and went into the office as directed.

"Hello, Harrison," Marcus greeted him as he leaned back in his chair with his feet on his desk. "It's been a while since we've seen each other in person. Have a seat. Romulan ale?" he offered John the blue alcoholic beverage.

"Romulan ale is illegal," John glared at him.

"Would you prefer something else?"

"No, thank you. I would rather not."

"Fine then, we'll get down to business," he took his feet off the desk and sat up leaning forward on his desk before sipping the glass of Romulan ale he poured for himself.

"I would prefer that as I have already been inconvenienced and delayed in continuing my work due to the mess created by your associates in my lab."

"You have yourself to thank for that, you bastard!" Marcus suddenly shouted pointing his finger at John. "If you would just behave yourself and cooperate for once, I wouldn't have to resort to such tactics!"

"If you would have let me sleep, you would not find yourself troubled by such matters in the first place. And now, if you would just let my family go, you would not have to deal with these internal affairs."

"And why would I do that? So you and your happy little family could continue the work you started before you were exiled? So you could continue your mass murder of anyone you deem to be inferior?"

"We only offered the world order!" John grabbed the bottle of Romulan ale and smashed it on the floor of Marcus' office.

"That's enough! I know you've been up to something. Twenty of my personal security officers are missing with not a trace of them to be found. And I don't know who it is, but someone has been helping you. Mark my words, if I have to interrogate every single member of Section 31 to find out who has been helping you, I'll do it!"

Regaining his composure, John leaned forward with a scowl on his face. "In my time, there was a story. Let me tell it to you. Two men need an organ transplant, but there's only one organ. So they play a game. They put a card in their pocket. Whoever can guess the other's card wins the organ."

"You know I can see your card," Marcus threatened.

"I see yours as well. By the way, whoever loses the game will die."

"Let's see when you're going to die," with a malicious gleam in his eye, Marcus held out his hand to shake John's.

"Ever see someone shake a corpse's hand?" John spat back before getting up to leave Marcus' office.

"What thousands must die, so that Caesar may become great?" Marcus called after him as he left.

Ignoring him, John walked out of the office past the secretary whom he had offended earlier.  _"I must find Catherine,"_  he walked quickly to the cryogenics lab.

"Commander Harrison, is something wrong?" Dr. Smith asked as John bolted into the medical lab.

"I need to see Catherine immediately."

"If you are unwell, I can help you," the doctor insisted.

"No, only her," John rushed around trying to find her.

"She's not here, Harrison," he attempted to catch up with him. "She was escorted by a Section 31 officer to a meeting."

"Who was it? What kind of meeting?" John asked feeling panic grip him inside.

"I don't know who he was, and he didn't say. He just told her that it was urgent."

"Where did they take her?"

"I don't know. He didn't indicate where they were going, what the meeting was about, or how long it would take."

"Shit!" John found himself uncharacteristically swearing.

"What's wrong?"

"I think she's in danger. I think they're going to interrogate her," he furrowed his brow in concern.

"Why? She hasn't done anything wrong."

"She's been helping me, and she married me. Both of those things are enough for Marcus to go after her."

"What the hell? You got married? What is going on here, Harrison?"

John slunk down in a chair as he explained, "Catherine and I got married while we were on Risa. On New Years Eve, we smuggled my family out of the storage warehouse, but we were discovered. We still do not know if Marcus is aware, but he has expressed suspicion of my activities as some of his personal security officers are missing."

As John explained the situation to Dr. Smith, Catherine found herself shoved into a small dark room where another officer pushed her down into a chair strapping her down by her wrists and ankles. "What is going on?" she asked her voice cracking slightly in fear.

"Lieutenant Troi, you will not speak unless spoken to," a gravelly voice came over an intercom as one of the officers blindfolded her.

"I have rights!" she shouted before someone slapped her across the face.

"I said that you are not speak unless spoken to! Do you understand?"

"Yes," she started to cry.

"Now tell me, what kind of relationship do you have with Commander Harrison?"

"He's my patient," she started to explain before another blow hit her in the face.

John and Dr. Smith sat agonizing about Catherine's safety for what felt like days before the security officer who escorted Catherine away to her "meeting" earlier returned her to the cryogenics lab. Shoving her inside the door and leaving, it was obvious to the two men waiting for her that she had been crying. "Catherine," John ran to her and caught her as she started to collapse to the floor.

"Quick, take her into the infirmary," Dr. Smith instructed John as he picked her up.

Placing her gently on the biobed as Dr. Smith started scanning her, John brushed the hair sticking to her tear-stained face away. "Imzadi, what happened? What did they do to you?" he asked fighting back tears.

"John," she whimpered weakly, "I did not tell them."

"What's wrong with her, doctor? Did they harm her?"

"Mostly soft tissue damage," he continued scanning her. "No broken bones. Her adrenaline levels and vital signs are through the roof, so she's clearly upset. If there was any torture involved, it had to been mostly psychological in nature."

"I'm going to be sick," Catherine struggled to roll over onto her side before vomiting all over John's boots. "Sorry," she coughed and sputtered.

"Shh, it's alright," he rubbed her back trying to soothe her.

"I think the best thing to do is for us to let her calm down first, Harrison, before trying to have her tell us what happened," Dr. Smith explained. "She is far too upset right now."

"Luke, if they come for you, please, do not tell them anything," Catherine pleaded as she struggled to calm herself down.

"I'm going to give her a sedative. Whatever happened, whatever they did, it was clearly too much for her," he injected her with a hypospray. "I'll go ahead and get something to clean up the vomit. You stay here with her."

"Khan," she called John sleepily as the sedative started to take hold of her.

"Don't fight it, Imzadi. Go to sleep. I am here to protect you," he took a cool cloth and soothed her sweaty brow as her body gave in to the sedative. Ensuring she was comfortable, John pulled a blanket over her and went to find out what happened to Dr. Smith retrieving the cleaning supplies to clean up the vomit. Walking out of the infirmary and into the main lab, John found the doctor's PADD and medical scanner on the floor. "No," he thought aloud. "Marcus is starting a witch hunt."

Knowing there was nothing he could do to help Dr. Smith, John found the supplies on his own, cleaned off his boots, and then cleaned up the infirmary stopping now and then to check the biobed's scanners to monitor Catherine's vital signs. Once finished, he sat on the biobed across from her and watched her sleep.

Much to John's surprise, Dr. Smith returned to the infirmary shortly after John had sat down on the biobed. The physician was clearly upset and had a fresh shiner. Knowing full well that he had just been interrogated, John allowed him to gather his wits first and explain what had happened to him when he was ready.

Dr. Smith cleared his throat, and straightened his lab coat. "I resisted them when they told me to sit down. That's what got me this," he pointed to his black eye. "They wanted to know what I knew about your activities outside of Section 31. I get the impression that they were gentler with me than Catherine, as they seemed satisfied with my vague answers. Outside of my black eye, they did not harm me. Do not worry, I did not tell them anything to jeopardize you, Catherine, or your family. Clearly, though, Marcus suspects she knows much more or is even involved in your activities. Once she is well enough, she can tell us what exactly they were asking her," he sighed and John nodded in agreement. "It was a short-acting sedative. She might start waking up soon."

With that knowledge, John scooted off the biobed to stand beside Catherine so he would be there for her the moment she woke up. "It's going to be alright, Imzadi," he told her quietly as she slept.

"You really love her," Dr. Smith commented.

"Augments are fully capable of love," he grew defensive.

"I'm sorry if I offended you, but that's not what I meant by my words."

"I love her with all my heart, soul, and strength," he stroked her hand. "Even before she knew my true identity, she loved me simply for being me, John, faults and all. She always doubts herself, but to me, she is superior."

"John," Catherine mumbled sleepily. "Help me sit up," she rolled onto her back before John complied with her request.

"How do you feel?" he asked his eyes full of concern as Dr. Smith started scanning her.

"Sore," she gently touched her bottom lip. "I got slapped quite a bit. I gave them a run for their money," she smiled weakly. "You would have been proud of me."

"I am always proud of you. What did they ask? What did they do to you?"

"They, of course, wanted to know about our relationship and what you've been up to lately. I was bound and blindfolded. They tried to intimidate me, made threats, but I knew that if I were gone long enough you would come on a warpath to find me. I know they were certainly capable of much worse."

"That is what I fear," John sighed. "I think Marcus suspects you, but he is only just starting his witch hunt. They may come for you again, and much worse may await you if they do. I think it's time for you to leave here. I can transport you away from here and provide you with all you need until I know that it is safe again."

"No, John, absolutely not!" she refused. "Now that I know I am under suspicion, I will just have to be on the alert and step up my guard. Know that if they try to come for me again, I will go down fighting if I have to, but I am not leaving. Luke needs me. The Harewoods need me. And most of all, you need me."

"You are most defiant. If it was not for the fact that I love you, I would most certainly punish you," he brooded. "I will let you stay, but at the first sign that it is no longer safe for you here, I will send you away. Do you understand?" he boomed.

"Yes, Khan," she nodded sensing his anger. "I am sorry if I have become an inconvenience to you or have caused you disappointment," she huffed.

"Catherine, do not start with me!" he warned her rubbing his temple as a headache started to set in. "You have no idea how worried I was about you!"

"Forgive me if I am overstepping any boundaries here, but," Dr. Smith interrupted them, "he was in agony. If even I was able to tell, then you know it was bad."

"What happened? Did John hit you?" she frowned.

"Catherine!" John's jaw dropped at her accusation.

"No, not at all! I spent a little time with the same friends that interviewed you earlier, Mrs. Harrison," the doctor explained.

"You told him?" she turned to John.

"Yes, I had to explain. Imzadi," John's demeanor grew tender, "I love you with all my being, but given today's events, I think it may be best for us to spend some time apart outside of our work."

"I do not want to," she got tears in her eyes. "I can't, John. You're a part of me now. Please, while we're at work, I will quickly do my scans on you and leave, but in the evenings you can transport me to your quarters. Please," she pleaded.

"Damn you, woman!" he threw up his hands in frustration. "Fine, we will go with your plan, but as I said, at the first moment I suspect your life or safety is at risk, you're out of London and possibly off this planet."

"Fine," she pretended to pout bringing a small smile to his face.

"You know I love you."

"Yes, I do. It's why you worry so much about me. And I love you, too," she smiled before kissing his hand.


	21. Fight Inside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listening track selections: "Fight Inside" by Red, "Cold War Transmissions" by Anberlin, "Love Will Leave a Mark" by Red

As John had agreed, that evening he beamed Catherine from her quarters to his own. After materializing with suitcase in hand, she put down her luggage and immediately walked over to embrace John. "Thank you for agreeing to this," she nuzzled into his chest. "It is not right for a husband and wife to be separated if there is no acrimony between them."

"I know it's not, but I fear for your safety," he kissed her forehead.

"I understand your concern about me when I am out of your sight, but at least know that while I am here with you I am safe."

"You look exhausted. Did you have something to eat yet?"

"Yes, I had a small meal. I wasn't particularly hungry."

"You often internalize your stress causing yourself gastrointestinal upset, do you not?"

"You have come to know me well. As you have often witnessed, I can certainly be outwardly emotional, but I still often internalize my anxiety. One semester I had to take organic chemistry, and I ended up losing several pounds from being so nauseated. It was horrible, but at least I can laugh about it now," she grinned.

"I know you do not readily admit it, but you have been under a lot of strain lately," he cupped her cheek with one hand. "Go get dressed in something comfortable, and then come back here. I want to take care of you."

"What do you have in mind?"

"You will see. Go on," he nudged her towards the bedroom before picking up her suitcase and carrying it to his bedroom for her. "I'll be waiting," he gently smiled.

Returning to the living room in a pair of flannel pajama pants and a Starfleet Medical T-shirt, Catherine raised a brow finding the room dim with multiple candles lit. John had relaxing music playing and incense burning. "What is all this?" she asked.

"Come," he led her to the couch and had her recline on it before sitting and having her put her feet and legs in his lap. Handing her a soft, warm blanket to snuggle, he then gave her a box. "Open it," he urged her as he took out a bottle of lotion and began to massage her feet and legs.

"Chocolates?" she lifted the lid of the box. "I love chocolate," she smiled.

"Indulge yourself to your heart's content," he smiled.

"John, this is heavenly," she sighed as he soothed the discomfort in her lower extremities. She quickly started to relax as she sampled a piece of dark chocolate.

"You have done so much for me and my family, and I feel like I need to take better care of you. I have told you before that you would have been my Khanum. You deserve to be treated like the queen you are to me," he explained as he gently massaged a knot out of her calf.

"I've never bothered to ask, especially since we used false names when we got married, but, what is really your full name?"

"Title and all, it is Khan John Noonien Singh," he huffed.

"You don't care for it?"

"Not with the title in front of it. It sounds like posh Bollywood," he snorted causing her to giggle.

"Where did Harrison come from? Was that Marcus' idea?"

"While he did insist on creating a new identity for me, I would not let him change my name. One of my mother's ancestors was British and had the surname of Harrison, so I adopted the identity of John Harrison."

"So where exactly does this leave me? Am I Mrs. Singh or Mrs. Harrison? Whatever you decide, I am not ashamed of your name," she smiled sleepily.

"My past as Khan is dead, so I somewhat feel that it is fitting for me to move on using a different surname. When we can make it official, I want you to be Catherine Singh Harrison. Do you have a middle name?"

"Yes, it's Mae."

"Catherine Mae Singh Harrison. Does that please you?"

"Of course it does. Many of the illustrated posters and the few photos of you from the time of your rule depicted you as Indian, tan skinned, dark-eyed, with long black hair and a Sikh turban. Why is that?"

"Propaganda, of course, my dear. Those who took me and Kati in after our mother's death and sought to train me to be a leader were afraid that the people would not submit to someone who did not look like them."

"Someone that might remind them of their time under British rule as a colony."

"Exactly. Brown contact lenses and time in the sun can do wonders to change my appearance," he laughed.

"I prefer you as you really are, Imzadi, but I can understand why they wanted you to appear differently. Did any of the common people, your subjects, know the truth?"

"Yes, of course. Many of them knew the truth and were accepting of it. Now, that is enough about me. Tonight is about you," he worked his way up to her thighs rubbing her sore muscles.

"That feels so good," she yawned before dozing off to sleep and snoring quietly as the box of chocolates slid out of her hands and down into her lap.

Seeing her so sweet and vulnerable, John smiled picking up the box and putting it on the table. He then carefully scooted out from under her legs before scooping her up and carrying her to the bedroom. After putting her on the bed and pulling the sheets and blankets over her sleeping form, John kissed her on the temple before going back to his living room to blow out the candles and then get ready for bed.

The next morning he awoke bright and early, as was his habit. Seeing Catherine was still quite soundly asleep, he got up and started his morning routine letting her get some extra rest. Smelling the scent of food wafting into the bedroom, Catherine groaned rolling over to discover John was already up for the day. Seeing the time, she swore to herself and jumped out of bed to get ready.

Standing in John's bathroom and looking in the mirror, Catherine frowned noticing her face looked puffier than usual particularly under her eyes in addition to the small areas of old and new bruising on her one cheek. "I look like ten miles of bad road," she huffed out loud to herself before starting to get ready.

After quickly showering, she again stood at the mirror applying makeup to try to cover the purple and yellow blemishes discoloring her skin. Noticing how queasy and tired she felt, she thought,  _"I feel like ten miles of bad road, too. I suppose I need to try to take better care of myself. I'm no good to John if I'm malnourished and exhausted."_  After struggling to get through brushing her teeth as she kept gagging, she finally got dressed and joined John in the kitchen.

"I'm so tired. How long did I sleep?" she asked as she scooted onto one of the stools at the kitchen counter.

"Oh, about ten hours," he grinned.

"Wow, I know I was tired, but I didn't think I was that tired."

"What would you like for breakfast?"

"Hmm," she thought trying to ignore her nausea. "I'm not very hungry. Still not feeling very well. I suppose I better just stick with some toast and tea."

"Are you sure?"

"Now don't be worrying about me. Like I said, I'm just to that point that I'm internalizing all of the stress I've been under lately. That's why I'm so tired and sick to the stomach besides having that negative reaction to your blood. I'm just going to have to try to take better care of myself."

"Very well," he prepared the items she requested. After they finished breakfast, John kissed her before transporting her back to her quarters where she would depart for the archives as usual. With her departure, he paused to water the Betazoid plant she had given him and whose blooms had now turned completely golden with some starting to wilt.  _"Just as she said it would,"_  he thought before heading out the door to make his way to his lab.

The rest of January passed and was uneventful other than Catherine continuing to feel unwell with severe nausea and occasional episodes of vomiting. John was ever faithful in watching over her especially when she was ill. "Are you sure you're fine? Perhaps you should have Dr. Smith examine you?" he often insisted.

"Yes, John, I'm fine!" she would reassure him. "I'm a nurse. I should know if and when I would need medical attention. Besides, I'm not dehydrated or losing weight."

One morning early in February, upon John's arrival to his lab, a transmission was awaiting him on his view screen. Hitting the appropriate keys, the transmission started to play. "Harrison," Admiral Marcus appeared on the cracked screen, "upon receiving this message, report to me immediately."

" _What now?"_  John thought as he rubbed his forehead before leaving his lab.

"Hey, where are you going?" Catherine ran after him seeing him leave.

"I am to meet with Admiral Marcus immediately," he stopped briefly to explain.

" _Did he say what he wants?"_

" _No."_

" _I'll come back later to check on you,"_ she touched his arm knowingly before he nodded and continued on his way to see Marcus.

Arriving at the admiral's office, upon seeing John approaching, the secretary quickly paged Marcus letting him know of his arrival in order to avoid as much as possible having to interact with him again. "Commander, Admiral Marcus is ready for you," she let him know. Glaring at her, he nodded and proceeded to enter the office.

"Have a seat," Marcus ordered John as he paced back and forth behind his desk.

"Enjoying your witch hunt? Do you take pleasure in hurting innocent people just to try to get information that does not exist?" John growled as he sat down in reference to the interrogation of Catherine and Dr. Smith the month prior.

"I told you, Harrison, that I can see your card. Shit," he swore shaking his head.

"What's wrong? Is my card giving you trouble?"

"No, actually, quite the opposite. Let's just say that a little bird has told me quite a lot about you and what you've been up to lately."

"I highly doubt the accuracy of the information you have received. I have been assured that any information about my activities is secure, and I trust that person, my card, with my very life."

"I think you underestimate their reliability. It was not difficult to get them to talk. In fact," Marcus started to circle John in a predatory fashion, "they willingly gave the information up. They have sought me out multiple times."

John clenched the armrests of the chair until one broke off completely. "And how many times has he come to you?"

"I do not recall ever indicating that the person was a male, so let me clarify,  _she_ ," he emphasized, "has come to me many times. Starting to let the seeds of doubt grow? Not everything is as it seems. You of all people should know that."

"I do not know what you're talking about."

"Damn you!" Marcus backhanded John across the face. "I'm sick of these games! You don't think I know about your torpedoes? You don't think I know what really happened on New Years Eve?"

John swallowed nervously as his mind raced desperately trying to reign in his anger lest he break Marcus' neck right then and there and endanger everything he worked for to ensure the safety of everyone he held most dear. Lifting a trembling hand, John rubbed his now throbbing head.

Noticing John's distress, Marcus grinned, "I've hurt you, and I wish to go on hurting you. I highly suggest that you start fulfilling my demands. That is, unless you want to attend a large funeral ceremony. Oh, and I'm sorry about that little incident a while back with your friend. It was rather nice of Lieutenant Troi to visit his grave with you, no?" John only clenched his jaw as he now held both hands to his head trying to alleviate his pounding headache. "Playing the silent game now? Well, I grow tired of this. Get back to your lab and finish preparing those torpedo and weapons designs else I use the ones we already have in the cargo bay on the  _Vengeance_!"

Getting up, John threw the chair he was sitting in across the room smashing it into pieces before dashing out of Marcus' office and back to his lab. As the door to his lab shut behind him, he sank to his knees and let out a primal cry of physical pain and emotional anger before pounding his fists on the floor.  _"It can't be true. Catherine would never tell Admiral Marcus. I know her. I love her. We are joined together in a way average humans are not capable. I would know if she was lying to me. If it isn't her, then who is telling Marcus? If only Kati were here,"_  he felt hot tears roll down his cheeks before calming himself, getting up, and returning to his work.

Catherine tried to wait patiently in the cryogenics lab for John to signal to her that he had returned from his meeting with Marcus. Completing her notes from her morning scans on the cryotubes, she paced back and forth before heading back to the room containing the cryotubes and their occupants. Sighing, she pulled up a stool next to Nandi's tube. "What was he like?" she found herself talking to the sleeping woman. "What was it like with him leading you into battle? I'm sure he looked different then, from what he's told me, but I'm sure his heart is still the same. I bet he drove you all crazy just as he does to me," she laughed to herself before resolving to go to his lab to see if he had returned yet.

As she entered his lab, she found him working busily away on a phaser rifle. "You forgot to let me know when you returned. I still need to take your vital signs today, and you were going to tell me what happened during your meeting with Marcus."

"I'm sorry. I forgot. I have much work to do," he replied flatly.

"That's not like you to forget," she shook her head as she started up her tricorder and medical scanner.

"I'm only human," he grumbled.

"John, what is wrong?" she stopped scanning him as a frown formed on her face. "I sense that you are so full of doubt right now. I have never known you to be this occupied with uncertainty. What happened in that office this morning? Please tell me," she pleaded as she reached to touch his arm.

"Just leave me alone!" John suddenly pushed her into the wall and got up taking the phaser rifle and smashing it into a glass display case. The display, which had previously managed to remain intact despite Marcus' raid of his lab, contained models of other ships and weapons he had designed.

Picking up one of the damaged models, she spat at him, "You broke your little ship," before throwing it back down into the pile of broken glass. "See you later," she dashed out of his lab holding back angry tears.

That evening after consuming yet another meager meal of toast and tea, Catherine curled up on her couch in her pajamas watching  _Torchwood_  as tears rolled down her cheeks. Hearing the character Dr. Owen Harper speaking to Toshiko Sato about her relationship with a World War I soldier kept frozen by the secret organization, she started to sob. He said, "I didn't think you had some fetish for defrosted men. I just, um, don't want you to get hurt, that's all, if you have to say goodbye." As she cried, she did not notice blue light illuminating the area of the room behind her.

John materialized behind her finding her sobbing in a fetal position on her couch. Quietly making his way to her side, he kneeled beside her and gently touched her back. "Catherine, please look at me," he implored only causing her to cry harder. Gently helping her roll onto her other side so she was facing him, he then helped her sit up. "I'm sorry for losing my patience with you today. I do not know what is wrong with me. I feel like everything is slipping away. Including you," he wiped her tears away with his thumbs.

Taken a bit surprised by his words, she stopped crying. "What do you mean?"

"My words fail me. I do not think I can adequately explain why I feel this way."

"John, you will always have me. No matter what happens, I will not leave your side. I do not take vows lightly. I am now, and will be until the day I die, Catherine Singh Harrison. I have been and always shall be yours. If you doubt all else, do not doubt us or our marriage," she leaned forward and touched her forehead to his.

"Are you still feeling unwell?" he asked gently rubbing the back of her neck.

"Yes, unfortunately," she sighed. "Oh no, not again," she shook her head warning him sensing that he was going to suggest her having another infusion of his blood. "Not right now, at least," she ran her fingers through his hair.

"Are you sure? It might help you feel better."

"I know, but given the fact that I have not felt well since the last one, I'm not sure I want to risk it just now. No offense."

"None taken," he smiled gently. "Is there anything I can do to make up for my short-temper today?"

"Just stay with me here tonight like we usually do at your quarters."

"Is that all?"

"Well, there is one problem. You are wearing entirely too many clothes at the moment," she teased.

"That will be easily remedied," he smiled mischievously.

Later that night after they had made love and as Catherine slept clutching him tightly, John lay awake as his mind raced and his head pounded. The interaction he shared with Admiral Marcus earlier that day played over and over in his head clouding his reason and causing him increased confusion. Despite Catherine's constant reassurance that she would never leave nor betray him and despite the unbridled ardor she showed him during their love-making that evening, he could not help but continue to wonder if she was telling him the truth. By early morning, he had decided to whom she was truly loyal and what course of action he must take in response to Marcus' threats.

As she cleaned up the kitchen from breakfast, he stood at her counter. Sensing his anxiety, she turned and asked, "What's wrong?"

"I just got an urgent transmission," he frowned and hoped she would not sense that he was lying. "Marcus has requested that I leave immediately to go on a covert mission to a currently undisclosed location. I'm afraid it will be far too dangerous for you to go with me, and neither is there anything that justifies you going with me as I have been medically stable. I promise that I will come back to you as soon as I can."

"Any idea how long you will be away?" she asked as they walked into the living room.

"No, I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I understand," she frowned.

Holding up his communicator, he explained, "I will take this with me, but you must only contact me if it is an absolute emergency. Do you understand?"

"Yes, I will only contact you if your family or if I am in danger," she replied as he slid her own communicator into her hand.

"Good, anything else can wait."

"Godspeed, Imzadi. Return to me quickly," she looked at him with pleading eyes before kissing him.

"I am truly sorry."

"I know, John, there's no need to apologize," she lifted her eyebrow.

"No, I am so sorry," he frowned before hitting her in the back of the head knocking her unconscious before catching her limp form and hugging her against him tightly. "I'm really, truly so sorry," he gently put her on the couch as a solitary tear streamed down his cheek. Said tear dripped onto her cheek as he leaned forward to kiss her. "What I am about to do, where I am going to go, you cannot follow. You will need to be brave and as steadfast as ever. Never forget that you are superior, my love. Godspeed, Imzadi," he choked back a sob before leaving.

As Catherine regained consciousness, she groaned and rubbed the back of her head, which was throbbing. Amnesic to the actual moment of John hitting her, she thought that she must have fallen asleep and slept in an odd position on the couch causing the pain in her head and neck. "Ugh, John?" she called out for him. Realizing she had her communicator in her hand, she then recalled that he had to leave on a covert mission and that she was only to contact him in the event of a dire emergency. "Not again," she held her stomach as she ran to the bathroom to dry heave.  _"False alarm. Thank goodness,"_  she relaxed.  _"I need a vacation after all of this stress."_

Catherine reported later that morning to the cryogenics lab. After apologizing for being late, she explained to Dr. Smith that John was away so she would be unable to monitor him until he returned. As she was scanning Nandi, Dr. Smith walked in and asked, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she forced a smile.

"I'm not Betazoid, but I know you're lying."

"You're right," she lowered her tricorder before looking away trying to hold back tears.

"Catherine," he circled around to face her, "you can tell me."

"I'm worried about him, of course. And on top of it, I've been feeling horrid. I feel so sick to my stomach. I've been hardly eating anything. I'm exhausted, and I'm an emotional wreck," she sniffled.

"Are you in any pain?"

"Actually, now that you mention it, I've got quite a headache and a kink in my neck," she rubbed her neck.

"Come on," he pulled her away from the cryotube and led her to the infirmary. "Get on the biobed," he instructed before starting to scan her head and neck. "Catherine, you have a mild concussion," he reported. "When and how did you hit your head?"

"Well, goodness, it could have been from any number of things. On New Years Eve alone, I was kicked in the face, tackled, and backhanded across the face. Then there was the interrogation during which I was shaken around quite a bit. I got knocked into a wall yesterday."

"How did that happen?"

"John lost his temper and pushed me, and, no, he is by no means abusive," she quickly came to his defense. "What would be a light shove for a normal human is practically a rocket launch for an Augment."

"Be honest with me, but has anything like this happened before?"

Catherine sighed frustrated with Dr. Smith's probing. "You want the whole truth?"

"Yes!" he shook his head.

"The first time he laid a hand on me was, certainly, when he broke my wrist, which you witnessed. That evening, he held a scalpel to my throat, bruised my neck, and shook me. He took me to Yosemite and had me run for my life by threatening to shoot me with a phaser before making me climb El Capitan with the second half of the climb being without any rope. On New Years Eve, he backhanded me across the face. Yesterday he pushed me into the wall. So, there, that's all of it," she crossed her arms not mentioning him knocking her unconscious due to her not remembering the event.

"Why would you subject yourself to that?"

"Because I'm half-Betazoid, Luke!" she shouted. "It's been a gift and a curse. I know his heart, his intentions. The incidents during the first day at the beginning were not intentional. The El Capitan incident was because he intended to gain control of me in order to use me against Marcus. Lately, although he does not mean it, he has been losing control."

"What do you see in him? Why would you be so willing to risk everything for him and his family?"

"John is everything to me. He is so kind and gentle. He treats me like a queen. He believes in me even when I refuse to believe in myself. I know it makes no sense. At first when I realized I had feelings for him, I even battled with myself because it was so illogical, but now he is my Imzadi. For once, I am glad to have followed my heart because I have gained much more than I could ever imagine."

"I'm sorry. It was not my intention to make accusations. I just wanted to be sure he is worth it," Dr. Smith smiled.

"It's alright. I know on the surface our relationship is rather unpredictable, but since when was marrying a 300-year-old former supposed tyrant and human popsicle conventional? I have no regrets," she smiled back.

"Good. Now, I want you to take the rest of today off and take it easy. Until you're feeling better from your concussion, I want you to work half days."

"Okay, and thank you for being such a good friend and coworker," she hugged him briefly.

Later that week early one morning, Catherine walked into the cryogenics lab to work her half-day. Discovering Dr. Smith was not in yet, she went ahead and got ready to perform her daily scans on the two cryotubes and their occupants that were still residing there. As the door to the room containing the cryotubes opened, she commanded, "Computer, lights 100%." As the lights flickered on, she dropped her equipment onto the floor due to the shock of discovering the room to be empty. "No!" she felt panic overwhelm her. As she turned around to leave, she ran right into Dr. Smith. "They're gone! They're gone again!"

"What?" he shouted and pushed past her. "Shit! Now what?"

"Oh no, he knows. Marcus must know. He sent John away on a mission. What if he's going to have him killed?" she asked as her hands started to shake. Working herself into a fit, she ran to the bathroom making it just in time as she started to vomit.

"Catherine?"

"I'll be alright," she coughed. "Please, go try to find out what's going on. I need to know." After the doctor left, she curled up on the floor feeling weak physically and emotionally.

Dr. Smith returned several minutes later as she sat up and leaned against the wall. "Admiral Marcus tells me that he forgot to inform us that the cryotubes were going to be temporarily moved so that biomedical engineering could perform some experimental upgrades and maintenance. A lie, no doubt," he sighed slumping down beside her against the wall.

"What else is bothering you?" she sensed that there was more upsetting him.

"Since I can't hide it," he explained, "I'm sorry, but Lucille Harewood is in an induced coma. Dr. Russell just informed me this morning. Her condition has quickly worsened. The Denobulan was unable to find an infectious cause to her disease. They're going to run another set of genetic studies to see if they missed something. I only hope she can hold on long enough."

"How long?"

"Well, she, of course, can be on life support for years even if her vital brain functions cease, but at that point, it will be up to her parents to decide if and when to terminate life support. For now, she still has brain function, but there's no knowing how long she has at this point in time."

After a few moments of silence, she asked, "Would it be alright with you if I just went home? John isn't here, and our cryotubes are gone. I feel terrible, and there's not exactly much I can do here anyway, is there?"

"No, it's fine. You've stayed here late many times over, and you're still recovering from your concussion. Go home and get some rest."

Catherine left the Kelvin Memorial Archives and hailed a taxi, which she took to the Royal Children's Hospital. Relieved to see that Lucille's parents had stepped out for a care conference with the physicians since she felt she would not be able to be much comfort to them in her current state, Catherine walked quietly into the little girl's room.

"Oh sweetie," she held back tears observing her near lifeless form connected to medical equipment to keep her alive. "I wish I could save you. I wish there was something I could do to help you," she gently held the girl's small hand before putting a stuffed rabbit she bought at the gift store next to her and leaving.

Departing from the hospital and getting another taxi for part of the way, she walked to Hampstead Heath where she was certain she could have some time alone and try to clear her thoughts before contacting John. Finding a bench under a tree, after calming herself to the best of her ability using plexing, she flipped open her communicator and turned the dial to open the frequency.

"John, can you hear me?" she asked only to hear static. "John, if you can hear me, this is an emergency. I think Admiral Marcus knows. He had the two cryotubes in the lab taken away again. His excuse has to be a lie. Please contact me as soon as you can. Things have gone to hell here. Like I said, the cryotubes are gone, Lucille Harewood is in a coma, and, damn it, John, I need you. I need to know you're safe. I'm so worried about you, and I feel so sick. So, please, contact me as soon as you can just so I can hear your voice, Imzadi."

Not hearing a response, she closed the communicator before shoving it in her coat pocket. Wiping away a couple stray tears, she groaned getting up off the bench and wrapped her coat around her tighter trying to shield herself from the cold, winter air before walking home.

Meanwhile in a distant region of space on the dying Klingon home planet Kronos, John quietly shut his communicator and shoved it inside his coat having heard Catherine's pleas for him to respond. Clenching his jaw as he fought back tears, he pulled up his hood and covered his face before growling lowly to himself, "It is time. They shall all feel my wrath. Darkness is coming, and I shall have my vengeance."


	22. Let It Burn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Now we're heading into the plot of Into Darkness... I'm going to do my best to post chapters consistently, but with the holidays coming up, I am not making any guarantees as I get very busy. Thanks to my followers and reviewers. I hope you continue to enjoy!
> 
> Listening track selections: "Curse of the Golden Flower" by Shigeru Umebayashi, "Let It Burn" by Red, "My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark (Light Em Up)" by Fall Out Boy, "Glass to the Arson" and "Breaking" by Anberlin

Dismayed that John did not respond to her pleas for help and feeling quite horrible, upon returning to her quarters, Catherine got into her pajamas and curled up on the couch with her communicator close at hand just in case John attempted to reach her. In an attempt to distract herself from perseverating over her situation, she decided to watch an episode of the old BBC show  _Sherlock_  and had the computer select an episode at random. Grateful for the diversion, she soon found herself captivated by the episode "The Reichenbach Fall."

"Molly," Sherlock crept up on the pathologist in the dark, "I think I'm going to die."

"What do you need?" she asked.

"If I wasn't everything you think I am, everything that I think I am, would you still want to help me?"

"What do you need?"

"You."

"Well, that's enough of that," Catherine turned the show off as she started to cry. "I really need to stop doing this to myself," she scolded herself wiping her tears away.

Not feeling any desire to eat anything, she got up, crawled into bed, and slept fitfully the rest of the day and through the night until early the next morning when she woke up suddenly with the urge to vomit.  _"This has to stop,"_  she rinsed her mouth out spitting into the sink after vomiting into the toilet.  _"May as well just stay up and get ready to go to the lab. At least it's Friday."_

Catherine struggled through the weekend and the beginning of the next week with recovering from her concussion, but with working half days and getting adequate rest, she quickly found her headaches resolving. She continued, however, to experience severe nausea and bouts of vomiting.  _"What is wrong with me? Should I ask Dr. Smith for help?"_  she fought with herself.

Sitting in the cryogenics lab reading some medical journal articles one morning, as she had nothing else to do, Catherine arched a brow in surprise when a blonde woman walked into the lab wearing a blue Starfleet uniform like hers.

"Hello," the blonde smiled. "My name is Carol. Dr. Carol Wallace," she held out her hand to shake Catherine's.

" _Ah, so we finally meet,"_ Catherine thought. "Lieutenant Catherine Troi. I'm a nurse," she shook Carol's hand.  _"Lieutenant Catherine Harrison, actually,"_  she wished she could say.

"Oh, are you Commander Harrison's nurse?"

"Yes, and I am assisting Dr. Smith with the cryogenics project. Can I help you with something?"

"Well, I was actually looking for Commander Harrison. I know he often visits your lab and vice versa for follow-up studies and care after his time in cryostasis last summer. I haven't heard from him in several days despite my attempts to contact him, so I thought maybe one of you would know where he is since his commanding officers do not know of his location at the moment either. I've helped him from time to time on his photon torpedoes project, and I had some questions for him."

"Dr. Wallace, I must be honest with you. I am half-Betazoid. I feel like most people in Section 31 cannot be trusted, but I feel like I can trust you woman-to-woman. I can tell that you're very concerned about something," Catherine looked at her with weary eyes. "I promise I will not tell anyone."

"So it is true," Carol gaped as she sat on a stool across from Catherine, "you have the ability to read others' emotions."

"Yes, I do not have all the psionic abilities of a full-blooded Betazoid, but I can read emotions," she nodded. "Starfleet currently forbids Betazoids to use their abilities on fellow crew members, but apparently Starfleet regulations do not matter here."

"You know, it's nice to actually see another woman around here for once," she smiled. "It feels like Section 31 for the most part is an all boys club."

"I know what you mean," Catherine weakly smiled.

"Anyways, I am just concerned about Commander Harrison. I know Admiral Marcus can be downright cruel to him sometimes. Also," she looked down at her hands and fidgeted nervously, "his photon torpedoes are missing."

"Missing?" she went pale.

"Actually," Carol leaned in to whisper, "they're still officially on the databanks of the ship manifest for the  _Vengeance_ , but they've been moved. I notified Admiral Marcus, but he says that he knows where they are being stored and that he and one of his staff visually accounted for all the torpedoes. I wanted to let Commander Harrison know since this has been his pet project recently."

"Unfortunately, I do not know where the commander is right now. He told me he was leaving on a covert mission assigned to him by Admiral Marcus."

"The admiral didn't send the commander anywhere," Carol replied in confusion. "The admiral was the one who suggested that I come here to try to find him."

"You are sure of this and not lying," Catherine furrowed her brow sensing Carol was being truthful with her. "Oh dear, then I have no idea where Commander Harrison is nor what he is doing."

"No, it's alright," she scooted off the stool. "It's not your responsibility to know where he is at all times. Besides, he's always been a bit mentally unstable. Thanks anyway," she turned and walked out of the lab.

" _I wonder what lies her father has been feeding her about John. John thought that Marcus didn't know Carol was working here, but it seems like that isn't the case. Where are the torpedoes?"_ she rubbed her head trying to ward off a light headache as Dr. Smith walked into the room.

"How's the concussion coming along?" he smiled.

"It's getting better for the most part," she sighed. "I just wish everything else in my life was, too."

"What's wrong?" he sat on the stool previously occupied by Carol.

"I just had a visitor here in the lab. It was Marcus' daughter Carol. She's occasionally helped John with his photon torpedoes, but he was under the impression that the admiral did not know she was here. She was looking for John. The torpedoes are unaccounted for, and she reports that the admiral did not send John on any covert missions."

"Harrison lied to you?"

"Someone is lying. I don't know who, and damn it, I should be able to tell!" she slapped her open palm on the counter. "What is wrong with me?"

"Is there any data on concussions and their effect on the psionic abilities of Betazoids?"

"No clue."

"Well then, let me propose that since all the other neurotransmitters in your brain are all out of sorts right now, it is reasonable to think that the ones responsible for your psionic abilities are also a mess."

"That does make sense. I just don't like feeling vulnerable like this. I don't know what to do."

"I think you being cooped up in this lab with nothing to do is not helping matters."

"No, it's not," she admitted. "Actually, I was thinking. Do you think the Harewoods need any help with anything? All of their family are off planet and unable to be here to support them."

"I think that's an excellent idea, Catherine. I think they would appreciate anything you could do to help them, and I think it will help you get your mind off of things for a while. I'll contact you if I need any help here in the lab or if I hear anything about Commander Harrison or the cryotubes."

"Also, I am getting cabin fever. As long as I don't overdo it, can I get out and get some exercise?"

"Absolutely. Do some light aerobic activity and avoid overexertion at first. Let me know how you do, and then we can increase your activity levels. Go on, get out of here," he smiled.

"Thanks," she got up. "Contact me if you need me," she smiled before leaving the lab.

Catherine walked home to her quarters. Although she was feeling nauseated, she was glad that she was permitted to get out for fresh air and do some walking at the very least. Heading to her bedroom, she pulled out one of her training uniforms. After getting out of her usual boots, blue dress uniform, and black tights, she slipped on the shirt. She then put each foot into a leg of the training uniform pants and pulled them up. As she got to her thighs, however, she was quite surprised to find herself struggling to get them pulled up past her lower abdomen.

"Ugh," she grunted pulling on the elastic material. "I haven't gained any weight. In fact, I'm lucky I haven't lost weight with all the vomiting I've done lately. Why aren't these pants fitting?"

Finally getting the pants pulled up all the way, she finished getting ready, grabbed her coat, and headed to Hampstead Heath where she and John had spent time together on more than one occasion. After walking a while and feeling no worse, she decided to try a light jog. Only about five minutes into her jog, she, yet again, found herself overcome with the need to vomit. Putting her hand on a tree to support herself, she crouched and dry heaved a bit before vomiting a small amount of bile.

" _This is not good. This is not good at all,"_  her eyes watered. As she stood up, she rubbed her aching stomach before sliding her hand to her lower abdomen. It was then that she came to the realization that the area felt a bit fuller and firmer than usual. Remembering her struggle earlier to pull on her pants, she gasped lightly. "No," she shook her head whispering to herself. "No, it can't be," a tear rolled down her cheek. "That's impossible. Isn't it?"

Feeling that her stomach had settled down enough, she quickly walked home to her quarters. Stripping out of her training uniform and slipping into her pajamas, she pulled out her medical gear. Taking out a small vial, she extracted a small amount of her blood and inserted the vial into her tricorder. Activating the tricorder and putting it in diagnostic mode, it scanned the blood in the vial and started to display the results on the screen.

" _Hemoglobin, hematocrit, sodium, potassium"_ she started scrolling down through the results. Finally finding the one result she was looking for, she selected it and read it out loud, "Human chorionic gonadotropin, hCG, levels greater than 12,000 mlU/ml." Popping the vial out of the tricorder and setting them both down on the coffee table, she picked up her communicator and walked to her bedroom.

Running her hand through her hair, she thought,  _"Should I tell him? Would telling him I'm carrying his child bring him back to me? Oh god, I'm pregnant! But I've been on birth control. How?"_

Sighing,she flipped open the communicator and again tried to contact John as she had done everyday since the cryotubes were taken from the lab. "John, please come home as soon as you can. I've tried to tell you. The cryotubes are gone. I don't know where Marcus has taken them. I'm afraid, John, and I need you. I know it's selfish, but I need you. I have something very important to tell you, but I think it is best to tell you in person. I beg you, at least answer me."

Again, getting no answer, she shut the communicator, put it on the nightstand, and lay on her side in bed. Pulling the pillow John used the night before he left close to her, she could still smell his scent lingering on the fabric. Putting her hand on her abdomen, she sniffled and whispered, "Looks like it is just you and me for now, little one."

The next morning, still not sure how to feel about her pregnancy, Catherine got up determined to at least carry on with life as usual to the best of her ability. After getting ready and forcing herself to eat some oatmeal now knowing she had two people to support nutritionally, she hailed a taxi and had it take her to the Royal Children's Hospital.

She made her way to the room of Lucille Harewood, and upon arriving, saw her mother sitting in a chair reading her PADD. Catherine shyly knocked on the door. "Come in," Mrs. Harewood replied not lifting her eyes from her reading thinking it was one of the doctors or nurses coming in to perform examinations or care.

"Mrs. Harewood?"

"Oh, hello," she looked up at Catherine.

"We haven't met before, but I'm a nurse and work with Dr. Luke Smith. My name is Lieutenant Catherine Troi," she introduced herself.

"We love Dr. Smith," she weakly smiled. "You can call me Rima. Nice to meet you."

"Nice you meet you as well, and you can call me Catherine. I am of the understanding that the rest of your family is currently not on Earth at the moment, and I came to see if there's anything I could do to help. I could even just sit here with your daughter to give you and your husband a chance to spend some time alone together."

"Actually, she's been quite stable the past couple of days. Perhaps that would be nice for Thomas and I to go out and at least have dinner together. We pretty much have spent all of our spare time here at the hospital."

"I'll transmit my contact information to your PADD," she pulled out her own device to perform said act, "and you just let me know if you and your husband want to accept my offer or if there is anything else I can do to support you during this difficult time."

"I got it," she showed her PADD to Catherine indicating she could contact her. "Thank you so much. I think I can convince him to accept your offer," she grinned.

That afternoon, Catherine reclined on her couch staring at the ceiling deep in thought.  _"What am I going to do? I can't hide my pregnancy forever. Maybe I should transfer to a starship. Only in Section 31 would I be scrutinized as to who the father might be. But I can't just leave. What if John comes back?"_ She was shaken out of her trance by her PADD beeping on the coffee table.

Picking it up, she saw that she had a new message awaiting her. Opening it, she read:

" _Catherine, my husband agreed to letting you sit with our Lucy while we go out for a couple of hours. I love my daughter, but I think it is a good idea for us to spend a little time away from the hospital. Besides, she would not want us moping about like this all the time. Anyway, let me know if you are still available, and we'll figure out a time. Thanks again! – Rima"_

Catherine quickly replied that she was still able to help, and the two women messaged back and forth to confirm what time she should meet them at the hospital to sit with Lucille. Arriving at the agreed upon time, Rima introduced Catherine to Officer Harewood.

"I work at the Kelvin Memorial Archives," he explained. "I'm a member of Section 31."

"Me, too," she nodded her head.

"I'm sure, then, that you understand what kind of pressure I'm under at work besides what I am going through with my daughter."

"I'm sure it is very difficult," she frowned.

"Well, anyways, thank you for your offer to help."

"You're welcome. I'm glad to be of assistance."

After Lucille's parents left, Catherine sat in a rocking chair placed by the hospital bed. Catherine rocked back and forth in the chair for a little while humming as she held the little girl's hand. She then took out her PADD, and although Lucille was in a coma, she started to read to her stories her parents had read to her often as a child. A few minutes before the Harewoods returned to relieve Catherine from her post, she stood and stroked the thinning hair away from the little girl's face. "Hold on, sweetie. Everyone is working very hard to figure out how to make you better. You are such a strong and brave little girl."

That evening as Catherine returned to her quarters, she received another new message on her PADD. This one caused her to feel slightly panicked as she saw it was from Admiral Marcus:  _"Please report to me at 1000."_

Slouching on the couch, she shuddered.  _"I wonder what this is going to be about. I'm not showing yet, but what if he still knows?"_ she set her hand on her belly.

The next morning, Catherine stopped at the cryogenics lab hoping that Dr. Smith would be there for moral support. "What are you doing here today?" he smiled as she walked into the lab.

"You have no idea how glad I am that you're here," she wrung her hands nervously. "I have to meet with Marcus at 1000. I'm actually afraid," her voice cracked slightly.

"Now, don't let him get to you," the doctor got up and pulled her over to have her sit down on his stool.

"What if he asks me about John? What if I get interrogated again? I have no idea where John is right now or what he is doing. I don't know whether he lied to me or not. Should I cooperate in the hopes of them finding him? And if they find him, what will they do to him?"

"I honestly do not know how to answer those questions. I'm not even sure I have any advice to give you. I do think, however, that if they do find him, they will let him live. They need him and his mind for their projects."

"And as far as I know, they know about the cryotubes. They can still use his family to coax him to come back. I just hope they don't kill any more of them."

"I'm so sorry that you're in this position," he put his hand on her shoulder.

"All John ever wanted was a small corner of the galaxy for his family to live in peace and not be treated as animals. These people, including John, deserve justice. I feel so small and like no matter what I do, no one will listen to me. I don't count."

"You do count, Catherine. You count to me. And you definitely count to Commander Harrison. Someone like Khan Noonien Singh would not choose just anyone for his wife. He personally has told me how much you mean to him."

"Then where is he and what is he doing? Why isn't he responding to my cries for help? We need him here!"

"I don't know. Just trust him. As difficult as it is right now, just trust that he knows what he is doing."

"I guess you're right. He has not failed me yet despite everything we've been through. Well, I guess I better get to that meeting. I think I'd like to come back to work tomorrow, if that's okay with you."

"Sure, if that will help you feel better, you can come back," he agreed.

"Thanks, I'll see you tomorrow then," she scooted off the stool and left to meet with Marcus.

Catherine made her way to Admiral Marcus' office where John's least favorite secretary greeted her. "Good morning. Do you have an appointment with the admiral?"

"Yes, Lieutenant Catherine Troi," she sighed.

"I'll let him know you're here."

"Thanks," she clutched the strap of her bag nervously.

"Alright, head right in, lieutenant," the perky secretary smiled.

Feeling like she had a lump caught in her throat, Catherine made her way into the office where Admiral Marcus was reading his PADD at his desk. Looking up from the PADD, he smiled, "Ah, good morning, lieutenant. Please, have a seat. Can I get you something to drink?"

"Just water, please."

Handing her a glass of water, he began, "I hope you're recovering from your concussion. Dr. Smith tells me you've had a rough time of it lately."

"Oh, yes, I'm gradually recovering. Despite our advances in medicine, concussions continue to be such troublesome injuries, and rest still seems to be the best thing to help in recovery."

"So, how exactly did you come about your injury?"

"Honestly, I am not entirely sure. I got jostled around a bit a few times in a matter of several days. It might have happened one day that Commander Harrison and I were training together," she lied.

"Speaking of Harrison," he sighed, "that is why I've asked you to meet with me."

"Is something wrong?"

"Lieutenant Troi, where is Commander Harrison?"

Catherine looked down at her lap nervously, "I'm sorry, but I do not know, admiral. I wish I did. He told me one morning that you were sending him on a covert mission. I haven't seen him since."

"Shit, that's what I was worried about," he rubbed the back of his neck.

"I'm so sorry. It's my fault. I should have been able to tell he was lying."

"No, dear, it's alright. I saw in Dr. Smith's report on your injury that your abilities have not been quite what they usually are. Besides, that bastard's as good at lying as the devil himself."

"I hope I have not disappointed you," she played it up further.

"Lieutenant, given the information we've gathered and now hearing that you do not even know the commander's location, I have reason to believe that Harrison's gone rogue and is actively working against Starfleet and Section 31. If there is any information you can give or know of any way we can contact or locate him, we'd be grateful. Remember, he knows quite a lot of information that could compromise Federation defenses. It's your duty to help ensure we keep innocent lives safe."

" _John and his family are innocent lives you sick bastard!"_ she thought to herself. "If I can think of anything that might help, I'll be sure to let you know right away. The best thing would be for him to come home."

"Thank you. You continue to perform your duties admirably. You are dismissed."

"Yes, sir," she got up and started to walk towards the door as he went back to reading his PADD. As she walked, her hand drifted to the bag she had slung over her shoulder. Thoughtlessly, her hand slid into the bag and came to rest on the communicator John had given her. She pulled it out, and after examining it momentarily, she turned around and walked back to Marcus' desk. "Admiral, try this," she said quietly setting the communicator down on the edge of his desk before turning around and leaving.

Admiral Marcus looked down at the communicator.  _"This is not Starfleet issue,"_  he thought as he picked it up and examined it. Flipping it open and turning the dials to open a comm link, he hesitated before speaking. "Commander Harrison, this is Admiral Marcus. Come in."

"Admiral Marcus," John's voice came over the communicator with a catch in his voice.

"I don't know what you're up to, but I highly advise you to return to London as soon as possible."

"How did you get the frequency to contact me?"

"Oh, let's just say that little bird flew in to my office again. You know, Harrison, that nurse of yours has such a nice ass," he thought of how to get under John's skin. "And those hips, they're so nice to grab hold of if you catch my drift. No wonder you liked her so much."

"You son of a bitch!" John spat. "Don't you touch her!"

"Too late, I'm afraid. She's a great bang," he insinuated to arouse John's anger.

"No, she would not let you do that. You would have to force yourself on her."

"Oh, and why, because she loves you? Don't you get it, Harrison? She played you, son! She never loved you! She just wanted in your pants because I asked her to keep an eye on you!"

"No!" John's voice cracked.

"Now you better haul ass and get back here before I have to start roasting some more human popsicles," he threatened. Not hearing a response, he checked to make sure the comm link was still active. "Harrison?"

John's voice suddenly rumbled through the communicator. Quoting  _Frankenstein_ , he growled, "There is love in me the likes of which you've never seen. There is rage in me the likes of which should never escape. If I am not satisfied in the one, I will indulge the other."

"Oh, and what are you going to do?"

"I will burn the heart out of you."

"Harrison!" Marcus shouted into the communicator as he was met with static. "Damn you!" he threw the device across the room.

On Kronos, John crushed his communicator with his bare hand before throwing it across the barren landscape. Sinking to his knees, he pulled out of his coat pocket a swatch of the blue and gold fabric used to make Catherine's sari. Unfolding the fabric, he pulled out a now wilted bloom from the Betazoid plant she had given to him, a bloom that had once been red, then gold, and was now brown and dead. "Imzadi," he started to sob clutching the items to his chest as his head throbbed in pain.

Meanwhile, Catherine left the archives and started walking mindlessly until she realized she had arrived at the building that housed John's quarters.  _"Why not?"_  she thought walking inside, as she knew the access code to his door. Arriving at his quarters, she punched in the access code, opened the door, and walked into the place at which she felt more at home than her own quarters. Examining each room, Catherine noted that nothing appeared out-of-place. In fact, John's quarters were immaculate and appeared as if no one had been there since he had left. The only thing that struck her as odd was the plant she had given to him.

" _It doesn't look like anyone's been here in days, but the dirt in this pot is moist. That's bizarre,"_ she thought.  _"Oh well, I better go. I hope giving Marcus the communicator wasn't a mistake. I just want John home."_

The next morning, Catherine got up glad to be getting back to her routine. While getting ready to head in to the lab, she switched on the news to catch the weather report. She was surpised to see a headline reading "Medical Miracle" with video of the Harewoods at the Royal Children's Hospital. She was shocked to see Lucille sitting up in bed smiling as her mother helped her eat a small, simple breakfast.

"We don't know how or why our daughter is well, but we're so happy to have her back again," Rima Harewood spoke to the reporter with tears in her eyes.

"The doctors thought for sure we were going to lose her, but she's pulled through just fine. We hope that by the end of the week she can come home," Officer Harewood added.

The video cut to the reporter standing outside the hospital. "While doctors continue to be baffled not only by Miss Harewood's life-threatening illness and sudden recovery, they are certainly happy to see that she is on the road to returning to full health. She will need intensive physical, occupational, and speech therapies, but her parents are glad to have their little girl back and plan to tackle each day as it comes."

"What in the world?" Catherine ran around finishing getting ready before dashing out the door to go to the lab. Upon arriving, she nearly ran into Dr. Smith as she flew in the door. "Did you hear?"

"Hear what?" he chuckled.

"About Miss Harewood's recovery! It was on the news!" she pulled him back into the lab by the sleeve of his lab coat.

"No, I missed that. What happened?"

"They don't know just yet exactly how or why she's well again, but she was sitting up in bed eating breakfast this morning. She's going to need therapy, of course, but given what she's been through, her parents are just happy that she's alive."

"That's excellent!" he smiled as the door opened to the lab. "Oh, Officer Harewood, Lieutenant Troi just told me the good news!" he walked over to shake his hand.

"Yes, we're so happy," the father smiled somewhat weakly. "I just wanted to stop by and thank you both for everything you have done to help our Lucy and us during this difficult time."

"You're welcome," Catherine and Dr. Smith each in turn replied.

"Well, I better get to work," Harewood looked somewhat pained before turning around and leaving.

"I bet he's so relieved," Dr. Smith started to talk before Catherine suddenly grabbed his arm.

"We have to get out of here!" she started to panic.

"What? What do you mean?"

"There's no time! Something's not right with him. Hurry!" she pulled him out of the lab and broke into a sprint to the turbolift. "Come on! Come on!" she fidgeted as they rode the turbolift to the basement floor of the archives. They then ran to the next turbolift and rode it to the main floor.

Running through the lobby and out the front door, they ran down the sidewalk to the end of the block. Just as they dashed through traffic and crossed the street, they were thrown forward as an explosion tore apart the Kelvin Memorial Archives complex.

Catherine's ears rang as she struggled to peel herself off the pavement. She could feel warm blood trickling down the side of her face where she landed. Gathering her senses, she rolled over and sat up gingerly making sure nothing was broken. "Luke!" she saw the doctor on unconscious on the ground several feet away from her. As she tried to stand up, she felt a sharp pain shoot through her ankle.  _"Must be sprained,"_  she hobbled over to the doctor's location.

"Ugh," Dr. Smith moaned as he started to regain consciousness. "What happened?" he slurred his speech

"The archives exploded. Don't move," she started to triage him.

"Catherine," he ignored her and struggled to move, "I can't move my left side."

"Stop moving! You have a large wound on the right side of your head," she tried to focus despite the chaos surrounding them.

"There's nothing we can do. We need help," he spit out with garbled speech.

"Stay here," she instructed him. "I'll find some help."

Later as Catherine sat on a biobed at one of the local hospitals as a doctor used a dermal regenerator on her wounds, a surgeon came out to update her on Dr. Smith's condition. "Lieutenant Troi," the surgeon addressed her, "prior to going in to surgery, Dr. Smith requested that we let you know his status. He has a pretty decent head injury. He's going to have some degree of paralysis on the left side. He's resting well. He shouldn't have any visitors tonight, but you're welcome to come back tomorrow to see how he's doing."

"Thank you," she replied quietly as the surgeon left.

"Lieutenant," the doctor treating her spoke, "I do not have any reason to believe that you have any internal injuries to your organs as your vital signs have been stable. Except for your sprained ankle and soft tissue injuries, you should be just fine. As well, do not be surprised if your concussion symptoms flare up again. If you do start to feel unwell, however, you should seek medical attention right away. Otherwise, you can go home and get some rest."

Hobbling into her quarters, Catherine walked to her bathroom and started the shower before getting undressed. Standing in the shower letting the hot water wash over her aching body, she suddenly panicked. Getting out, drying off, and wrapping a towel around her, she ran into the living room where she found her tricorder still sitting on her coffee table.

"Please still work," tears streamed down her face as she pulled the device and medical scanner out of the damaged case as she had it strapped over her shoulder when the explosion took place. Grateful as the device started to blip and beep as usual, she started scanning her lower abdomen. Altering a couple of settings, she sighed with relief hearing a tiny heartbeat thumping away quickly. "Thank you," she choked back a sob before smiling hearing the heartbeat of her and John's child for the first time.

That evening before going to bed, Catherine turned on the news out of curiosity to see if there was any information as to what caused the destruction of the archives. She frowned seeing a picture of Harewood with a headline indicating that he was the perpetrator but died in the explosion.  _"I knew something was not right with him. Why would he do that? He just got his daughter back."_

Yawning with exhaustion, she shut off the news and climbed into bed. Lightly rubbing her belly, she sighed, "I'm so glad you're safe, little one. I just wish your father was here."


	23. Art of War

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Used some dialogue from The Wrath of Khan, The Undiscovered Country, and Into Darkness. 
> 
> Listening track selections: "Lie to Me (Denial)" by Red, "Art of War" and "Paperthin Hymn" by Anberlin, "Viva La Vida" by Coldplay

The next morning, Catherine threw up a couple of times while getting ready. "Little one, please, I need you to be good for me," she cracked a small smile and rubbed her lower abdomen. "Seems like you're going to take after your father at this rate," she sighed.

Managing to eat a small breakfast, she finished getting ready before going to see Dr. Smith in the hospital. Walking into his room, she discovered a young woman with short red hair standing at his bedside as he slept. Catherine knocked quietly on the doorway causing the redhead to look at her. "Hello," she greeted Catherine as she took hold of the doctor's hand.

"Hi, um, we haven't met," Catherine walked into the room. "My name is Catherine. I've been working with Luke," she introduced herself.

"I'm Sarah. Luke and I have been seeing each other."

"It is nice to finally meet you, although, I wish it were under better circumstances. How is he doing?"

"They did what they could, but of course, he's going to have some long-term deficits from his head injury. It is unfortunate that we still cannot heal brain tissue. He is trying to keep up his spirits, though, and he is eager to get strong enough to start going to therapy," Sarah explained.

"I'll be good as new in no time," Dr. Smith rasped sleepily as he started to wake up.

"Luke, you need your rest," she scolded him.

"I know, Sarah, but I really need to speak to Catherine. Why don't you go get yourself some coffee, dear?"

"Well, alright," she agreed and left the room to go to the hospital cafeteria.

"Catherine, are you okay?" he winced lightly slightly as he raised the head of his biobed.

"Sprained ankle, soft tissue injuries. I haven't had any headaches, but I was told not to be all that surprised if my concussion symptoms flare up. But enough about me, we have to focus on getting you back on your feet."

"Admiral Marcus was here earlier. For now, the cryogenics project is going to be put on hiatus due to my current medical status and since our lab was destroyed. He will probably have information sent to you in regards to your debriefing. What will you do until we get started back up again?"

"Goodness, I don't know. I mean, given my personal situation not knowing where John is right now, I've considered asking for a transfer to a starship," she frowned. "With everything that's happened, I feel like I just need to get as far away from London as possible."

"You seem hesitant."

"It's just, what if John comes home? What if he can't find me or know where I am? I do not want him to think I've left or abandoned him. Right now, I'm all that he has."

"Well, since the program is only on hiatus, they can hold your quarters for you. Just leave him a secure message explaining your decision. He's very intelligent and will easily figure out the password to access it."

"I guess you're right. Besides, after visiting Miss Harewood at the hospital, I've realized that I miss bedside nursing a little bit. Spending a short time on a starship will give me the opportunity to brush up on those skills."

"Speaking of Miss Harewood, I heard the news about her father. I know they said that he's responsible for the explosion, but I just can't believe it. Yet, I think I have you to thank for even being alive right now. You sensed something was wrong, didn't you?"

"Yes, he was very nervous, sad, and afraid which made no sense given the good news about his daughter. He just had this impending sense of doom about him. I just felt the need to get out of there right away. I suppose my psionic abilities came in handy for once."

"Any updates on the possible causes of Miss Harewood's condition or recovery?"

"No, but I'd imagine you want me to get a blood sample to compare it against the Section 31 genetic database. We're probably wondering the same thing, am I right?"

"It would only make sense for such a sudden recovery when she was on death's doorstep. If you don't mind, I would greatly appreciate it if you could sneak a sample and run the diagnostics for me."

"I think I would have done it on my own even if you hadn't asked me to do it. I need to know. And, if it really happened to be John's blood that cured her, why would he do that but not even answer my pleas for help? I could have died yesterday, and he probably doesn't even know that. I just hate this, all of this not knowing!" she hugged her arms close to her body.

"I'm sorry, Catherine. I cannot even imagine being in your position. Like you said, your relationship with John is not exactly conventional. I think it might be good for you to take a step back for a little while and take a break. You're exhausted, and he would not want you to have a mental breakdown on his behalf. Go and ask Marcus for a temporary transfer. Don't make me tell you that it's doctor's orders," he threatened with a grin.

"Alright, I'll send him a request this afternoon for the transfer. I'm sorry I won't be here to help you during your rehabilitation."

"Sarah will be here to help me."

"But no, you've done so much for me, for John, and for his family."

"And I would do it again in a heartbeat. You do not owe me anything."

"You know, I've never thought of it this way, but with John and me being married, I guess that means they're my family now, too. I have always been fond of them even though I do not really know them. I suppose, though, that I have gotten to know them a little from what John has told me about them. I think I could even dare to say that I love them," she smiled briefly.

"I know it's hard, but we have to keep hoping that they're safe in their cryotubes waiting for you and John to awake them."

"I'm trying to hold on to what little hope that I have. Well, I'm going to head over and see Miss Harewood and get that blood sample. Then I need to contact Marcus. I'll try to visit again before I have to leave."

"Don't worry if you can't make it. This is not goodbye forever, after all, just for a little while. Take care, Catherine," he reached up and weakly squeezed her hand.

"Thank you, Luke. Behave yourself and cooperate with your nurses. I expect to see you back at work when I return," she smiled squeezing his hand back before leaving.

As she said she would, Catherine then made her way to the Royal Children's Hospital to visit with Lucille and Rima Harewood. After stopping at the gift shop to buy something for the little girl and a cup of tea for her mother, she quietly knocked at the door of her hospital room before entering.

"Catherine, I'm so glad to see you're okay," Rima stood up seeing her enter the room. "What about Dr. Smith?"

"He was injured, but he'll be fine," she handed her the cup of tea sparing her the details of his actual condition as to not make her feel guilty for her husband's actions. "I'm so sorry, Rima, about your husband. I cannot even imagine the pain you feel at his sudden loss."

"He would not want me to grieve overmuch especially in front of Lucy after what she's been through. I just wish I knew why he did that. I can understand if he wanted to commit suicide during Lucy's illness," she lowered her voice so the little girl couldn't hear her, "but to do it in a way that would kill others and especially immediately after getting her back, I just cannot understand it at all."

"Rima, I saw your husband not long before he supposedly committed the act of terrorism that destroyed the archives. I am half-Betazoid, and I sensed such fear, sadness, and anxiety in him. Something was not right."

"You mean," Rima gasped, "that you think perhaps someone made him do it?"

"That is what I'm wondering. I don't know what I can do to help prove his innocence, but if I can think of something to help clear his name, I will let you know. I promise."

"Thank you," she hugged Catherine. "Now come and meet Lucy."

After spending some time visiting with the mother and daughter, Catherine asked, "Rima, would it be okay if I took a blood sample? Dr. Smith would like to run some diagnostics to see if he can pick up on anything that might lead to an answer regarding Lucy's illness and recovery."

"Absolutely, go right ahead. It would be nice if we could have a fresh set of eyes on getting to a possible diagnosis."

"Thank you," she proceeded to collect the sample. Catherine then took it to the hospital's laboratory and requested that they perform the DNA sequencing. "Our sequencer is down at the moment," she lied to the staff. "Please send the results to Dr. Luke Smith and to me as soon as they are complete," she instructed.

Finishing at the hospital, Catherine returned to her quarters to start preparing her request to Admiral Marcus for a transfer. Making a cup of tea, she sat at her desk and started writing away on her PADD:

" _Admiral Marcus, as I am currently out of a job with the cryogenics project on hiatus due to the destruction of our lab and Dr. Smith's injuries, I humbly request that during this time I be transferred to a starship. I have thoroughly enjoyed the challenge of working on this project and greatly look forward to returning once the project is back up and running. I thank you for bringing me on at Section 31 for this amazing opportunity. I, however, cannot be idle during the aforementioned interval of time during which the project is suspended. It is critical that I be able to continue to work in order to maintain my skills and further my education. So, again, please assist me and assign me to a temporary assignment aboard a ship of your choice. – Lieutenant Catherine Troi."_

After reviewing her request a couple of times, she sent the message to Admiral Marcus.  _"I feel so sick. Not sure if it is from the pregnancy or the anxiety,"_ she thought holding her head in her hands.

Meanwhile, John, who had previously returned to Earth from Kronos to set his plan for revenge into motion, sat quietly on a deserted beach in India as the sun started to set. As the weather was much warmer there than in London, he had discarded his coat and usual black shirt and sat bare-chested watching the moon and stars starting to light up the sky.

Running his hand through his hair slicking it back, his head throbbed as a tear rolled down his cheek.  _"I used to rule over one-fourth of the world's population, and now I am completely alone,"_ he thought pulling out once again the piece of Catherine's blue and gold sari fabric from of his coat pocket.  _"All I love, my family and my wife, are gone. My wife, my beloved Catherine, the only woman I have ever loved has betrayed me. She used me. She really is no different from the other humans. Did she ever really love me? But she is superior to the others, so perhaps I really am only an animal, a tool to be used for their gains."_

Using the sari fabric to dry his tear, he then clutched it tightly in his hand.  _"No, Catherine would never go against me. She has never done anything to usurp me. She has always respected my authority and me. Marcus. Admiral Marcus is the true enemy here. He is the serpent that has come between my love and me. He will pay. Yes, he will pay for what he has done!"_

Pulling his shirt back on and picking up his coat, he walked off the beach and to the jump ship he had landed nearby in a forested area. Getting in and starting up the ship, as he took flight setting his navigation system's coordinates to northern California, he recited from  _Paradise Lost_ :

"Me miserable! Which way shall I fly

Infinite wrath and infinite despair?

Which way I fly is hell; myself am hell;

And in the lowest deep a lower deep,

Still threat'ning to devour me, opens wide,

To which the hell I suffer seems a heaven."

Meanwhile, back in London, Catherine received the DNA results from the sample of Miss Harewood's blood. She quickly skimmed the results reading,  _"Two distinct DNA sequences isolated from blood sample, one human female and one human male."_ Sighing, feeling quite nauseated again, she thought,  _"I have a feeling I know the origin of the male DNA,"_  as she started to have her PADD compare the genetic sequences to the Section 31 database.

As it started to process, she received a message from Admiral Marcus. Nervous, she opened the message and read:  _"Lieutenant, catch a shuttle and report to me in San Francisco in the next 48 hours."_

"Well then, little one, it looks like we're going on a trip. I need to get away from here, but part of me doesn't want to leave. Oh, that was fast," she thought out loud as her PADD beeped alerting her that the DNA matched an entry in the database. "Well, just as we suspected," she sniffled lightly looking at a picture of John staring back at her. "Imzadi, you saved that little girl's life. But why? Please come home," she started cry before once again becoming overcome with nausea and running to the bathroom.

After throwing up for what felt like the millionth time, Catherine reclined on the couch to recover her strength. Holding a hand to her head noting a light headache starting, she then suddenly sat up as she realized something. "John's blood. It has to be how I got pregnant. On New Years when he gave me the infusion, it must have rendered the birth control ineffective while simultaneously making me fertile. Even prior to that, just from being around him and his potent Augment pheromones, I had episodes of spotting blood that had never happened before. There can't be any other explanation. Little one, I may be very angry with your father right now, but I love him. He is quite a stud," she giggled lightly. "He's going to be in big trouble and have a lot of explaining to do."

Having sent Catherine instruction to report to him in San Francisco, Admiral Marcus sat at his desk fiddling with the communicator she had given him. Although he had thrown it across his London office in a fit of rage, it had little damage. Not knowing if John would reply to any further communications from him, he decided to take the chance. Flipping open the communicator, he opened the comm link and spoke into the device. "Harrison, come in."

Being met with static, he repeated his request a couple more times. Just as he was about to give up, John's deep voice came over the communicator, "What do you want, coward?" Although he had destroyed the mate to the communicator he had given to Catherine, he still programmed the encrypted frequency into his Starfleet issued communicator in the event of an emergency.

"I bet you're disappointed to hear that I am alive and well, you bastard. I was not in London. You just missed me," he taunted him.

"Oh, I assure you, London was just the birth pangs of the terror you and those you care about will feel once I am done dealing out my vengeance."

"Well, I just thought you would want to know that your woman is dead. Dumb ass, didn't you even stop to think that she might be at the archives when you had that Harewood fool blow up the place?"

His taunting was met with silence.

"What's the matter, Harrison? You don't actually still care about her, do you? Remember, she screwed you. She didn't give a shit about you or your family!"

"I'll see you in hell," John growled before closing the comm link. Dropping his communicator onto the floor of the jump ship, he put his head into his hands and sobbed out of grief and pain, his head feeling like it would explode. "All is lost," he moaned quietly between sobs. Calming himself down, he vowed, "I will cause Marcus pain unto my dying breath."

Losing communication with John, Marcus sat down and rubbed his temples.  _"I'm going to have to take this bastard out once and for all. It's a shame I couldn't keep him under control. The animal's a genius,"_  he thought as he picked up his PADD and generated a message for his top starship captains.  _"Emergency session at Daystrom at 1900."_

That evening in London, completely unaware of the goings on between John and Admiral Marcus, Catherine sat in bed in her pajamas with her PADD preparing the password protected message she intended to leave for John at each of their quarters in the event that he returned during her absence:

" _Imzadi, my beloved John, it greatly pains me to have to write this message for you. I know you made no guarantees about our life together, and I married you knowing full well that there was the possibility of periods of separation occurring as we worked to free your family. Actually, let me correct myself; we have been working to free OUR family. Recent events, however, have led me to question many things including, unfortunately, your love for me. I will not go into detail, because what matters the most is that I want you to know that no matter what you have done or why you have done it, I love you still with all my heart. Never be afraid to come to me for refuge, my love._

_That being said, I want you to know that I am currently no longer in London. I do not know where you are or why you have not responded to my pleas for you to return to us. I only desperately hope that you are safe. Given recent events, I can no longer stay here in London and have requested a temporary assignment on a starship. I am no longer in possession of the communicator you gave to me, but I will let Dr. Smith know how to get in contact with me in the event that you return to London before I do. My Khan, there is so much I need to tell you, but it would not be right for you to not hear it from me in person. I hope against all hope that we are reunited soon. I miss you and long to be at your side once again. I have been and ever shall remain your Imzadi – Catherine."_

Wiping a couple stray tears away as she finished her message, she created a password and loaded it off of her PADD onto her quarter's computer system.

In the morning, after what was really now a part of her morning routine of vomiting from morning sickness, Catherine packed a couple suitcases for what she would need while aboard a starship. As she was packing, she stopped and admired the sari John had gotten her and which she had worn for their wedding ceremony. She smiled sadly before deciding to go ahead and pack it for memory's sake.

Once ready, she secured her quarters and took the suitcases downstairs to the awaiting taxi shuttle. She had the driver take her first to the building housing John's quarters. Letting herself inside, after she uploaded her message to his quarter's computer system, she went room to room thinking of the time she and John had spent there together. Looking in his closet, she found his purple sherwani still there. Taking it off the hanger, she noted his scent still lingered on the collar and resolved to take it with her before leaving.

Before heading to catch her shuttle to San Francisco, she made a final stop at the hospital to say goodbye to Dr. Smith. She explained that she would keep in touch with him and that if John did return in her absence, he would likely turn to him in order to reach her to which the injured physician readily agreed. "May the Great Bird of the Galaxy keep watch over both of you and reunite you soon," he wished her as they parted ways.

Finally on the shuttle on her way to San Francisco, after watching the London skyline disappear, Catherine went to the lavatory, threw up, and then sobbed out of already missing the city and also self-pity at her situation. Calming down and making herself presentable, she returned to her seat and fell fast asleep.

Well before her arrival to San Francisco, the city was already abuzz with news of the attack on the emergency session at the Daystrom Institute which Admiral Marcus had organized in order to plan with his top fleet starship captains and first officers the hunt for John in order to execute his twisted sense of justice. While the media outlets had named Officer Harewood as the terrorist who carried out the attack at the Kelvin Memorial Archives, at the session, Marcus explained to his captains that it was in fact John who was responsible.

While Marcus was ruthless, and some would even argue heartless, he sat at his desk grieving the loss of some of his dear friends in the attack on their session including the kind-hearted Admiral Christopher Pike. Taking a sip of whiskey, his communicator beeped with an incoming message causing him to flip it open.

"How does it feel, Admiral Marcus, to have someone you love ripped away from you so suddenly, to see the life leave their body while you stand by helpless?" John asked flatly through the communicator.

"Khan, you bloodsucker! So now you're finally doing your own dirty work! Do you hear me? Do you?" Marcus shouted into the device.

"It is about time you remember by true name. It is a shame that you're still alive, my old friend."

"Still, old friend! You know, you manage to kill everyone else, but like a poor marksman, you keep missing the target!"

"Surely I have made my meaning plain. I mean to avenge myself upon you, admiral. I will deprive you of everyone you hold dear, and when I swing around again, I mean to deprive you of your life. You always questioned my humanity, but Catherine showed me that I am just as human as everyone else from this planet," his voice softened slightly mentioning her name before returning to its original tone to paraphrase Shakespeare. "Tickle us, do we not laugh? Prick us, do we not bleed? Wrong us, shall we not revenge?"

"Last night you were going to kill me. Khan, you're going to have to come here. You're going to have to come down here, you bastard!"

"You humans are so slow to catch on, Marcus. As you said, I've hurt you, and I wish to go on hurting you. Marcus, my old friend, do you know the Klingon proverb that tells us revenge is a dish that is best served cold? It is very cold in space, and that is where we shall meet in the end."

"Be honest, Khan, warrior to warrior. You prefer it this way, don't you, as it was meant to be? No peace in your time and now none in mine," Marcus hissed before taking his turn at quoting Shakespeare. "Once more unto the breach, dear friends."

"Perhaps what you should most be worried about right now is the location of your daughter. Where is little Carol Marcus and what is she up to? Getting into trouble again, I'm sure, and disappointing daddy as usual."

"Don't you lay a finger on her!"

"And why shouldn't I? I asked the same thing of you in regards to my wife. You wanted a war, admiral? You'll have it and more. Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of war!" John snarled before closing his comm link.

"Khan!" Marcus shook with anger as he shouted. "You bastard!"

An hour later while Marcus was meeting with some officers regarding the previous night's attack, a young officer burst into his office accompanied by a Vulcan. The officer was Captain James T. Kirk, the same captain that Catherine and her friend Janice had often joked about his reputation as a lady's man. After a snafu resulting in breaking the Prime Directive, Kirk had lost his command of the  _Enterprise_  but was made first officer by Admiral Pike who had died the night before.

"Admiral, sir, Harrison's not on Earth! He's on Kronos, sir. I request my command be reinstated and your permission to go after him," Kirk pleaded with Marcus.

Marcus dismissed the officers he had been meeting with and discussed the proposal made by the young captain and his Vulcan former first officer Commander Spock. He explained, "London was not an archive. It was a top-secret branch of Starfleet designated to Section 31. Harrison was one of our top agents."

"Well, now he's a fugitive, and I wanna take him out," Kirk spat.

"Pike's the one who talked you into joining Starfleet, wasn't he?"

"Yes, sir," he nodded sadly.

"His death is on me, and yours can't be."

"Sir, please!" Kirk begged.

Marcus sighed seeing Kirk's determination. "As part of our defensive strategy, Section 31 developed a new photon torpedo. Long range and untraceable, it would be invisible to Klingon sensors. I don't want you hurt, but I want you to take him out. You park on the edge of the Neutral Zone, you lock on to Harrison's position, you fire, you kill him, and haul ass."

After the eager, young captain and his reinstated first officer left his office, Marcus sat again at his desk deep in thought.  _"This is not the end, Khan. Two can play at this game,"_  he thought.  _"You killed my friend. You threatened my daughter. Now I will ensure that your wife, you, and your precious family are gone in one fell swoop!"_

Upon landing in San Francisco, Catherine found herself in the restroom thoroughly emptying her stomach of its contents.  _"Just when I thought this couldn't get any worse,"_  she held her queasy stomach.  _"Please, little one, I can't keep on like this."_

After freshening up and picking up her luggage, she took a taxi shuttle to Starfleet Headquarters. Securing her luggage where she could get it later, she proceeded to the Section 31 building where she first met Admiral Marcus where she was informed that she should proceed to the Daystrom Institute to meet him at his office there.

Walking on the sunny, green campus, Catherine thought about her carefree days as a student at the academy.  _"Things were much simpler then. I miss Janice. I've been such a horrible friend. I haven't talked to her in ages,"_ she frowned.

Upon arriving at the Daystrom Institute, she looked at the directory and found the location of Marcus' office. She let the Andorian secretary know that she needed to meet with the admiral. Shortly afterwards, she was admitted into Admiral Marcus' office.

"Please, have a seat, Lieutenant Troi," he motioned as she walked towards his desk.

"Thank you, admiral," she sat down.

"I'm sorry about your injuries from the attack on the archives, but at least you're safe and sound. How was your flight?"

"Had a bit of motion sickness, but it is most likely due to my concussion symptoms being exacerbated from the explosion," she lied. "I should be alright, though."

"So, I understand that you would like to transfer to a starship until the cryogenics project is able to proceed again."

"Yes, sir, if that is possible."

"Oh, yes, that is no problem. It is admirable that you are so devoted to your practice as a nurse that you want to take on another assignment while the project is on hiatus."

"Thank you. As I said, I do not want to lose any of my skills from being idle."

"I think I have an excellent fit for you, if you're up to it."

"Well, I certainly would like to know more if you can tell me."

"The  _Enterprise_ has had a vacancy for head nurse for a few months now. How would you like to take a stab at it?"

"Really? Me, a head nurse?"

"It would give you plenty of experience, and I think you would work well with their chief medical officer Dr. Leonard McCoy. If you want it, I'll sign your transfer orders right away."

"Well, sure, why not. I guess I'll take it," she agreed with little thought, as she just wanted to seize any opportunity to get away from her problems in London.

"Excellent, I'll sign them after our meeting, and you'll be boarding later today as the ship is embarking this evening on a mission. One of their officers will brief you in regards to that."

"Great, I'll be ready to go," she smiled and started to get up to leave.

"Just a minute, miss," he stopped her. "I still need to debrief you about your time on the cryogenics project up until this point."

"Oh, okay, sir," she sat back down as he got up and started to circle around his desk. She grew nervous sensing anger starting to brew deep within him.

"Lieutenant, we still do not know where Commander Harrison is right now, but we now have hard evidence that he has been actively working against Starfleet."

"I wish I knew where he was and could help," she feigned innocence as Marcus circled around to face her. Then to her shock and surprise, he grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her violently before backhanding her across the face. She gasped in pain and held her hand to her stinging cheek as a tear rolled down her face.

"Feel familiar?" he asked hovering over her staring her in the face.

"You were in the interrogation room," she gasped.

"I have no idea what the nature was of your relationship with Harrison, but I'm not stupid either. I have ways of gathering information, and sometimes information is most easily gathered directly from the source. I happen to know, for example, that you two were screwing each other. I also know that you married that bastard. I have to wonder what else the two of you did together, but not that it matters. It will all soon be over and done with," he spat as he backed away and leaned against his desk.

"Please, don't hurt him or his family," she cried. "I love them."

"They're animals, you fool! They're savage beasts meant to be reigned in for our use. They're not like us! They don't feel like us!"

"That's where you're wrong, sir," she sniffled. "John feels more deeply than any human I know. He is more capable of love and grief amongst other things than even you! If anything, he is the epitome of what it means to be human."

"If he loves you so much, then why did he leave you? Why hasn't he come back to save you? He knows full well what I am capable of doing to you."

"And I know full well what you are capable of doing to him and his family! You bastard, you tortured him out of some sick curiosity to see how his Augment body and his resolve would hold up. And when you realized how strong and intelligent he truly is, you used him to militarize Starfleet so that you could start a war with the Klingons."

"War with the Klingons is coming regardless of how I have used him, but I needed him. I need the intelligence and savagery of Khan to build the technology we need to defend ourselves from those monsters!"

"John doesn't want war! He had enough war in his own time. All he ever wanted for him and his family was a place to call home and live in peace!"

"They don't deserve peace! They massacred hundreds in the name of what they call peace!"

"That's not true!"

'That's enough! You forget your place, lieutenant! I could have you prosecuted at a court-martial for treason! Now get out of here, get on your ship, and behave yourself. Besides, you wouldn't want anything to happen to dear mom and dad, would you?"

"No!"

"I didn't think so," he crossed his arms. "Now get out!" he barked startling her.

Quickly getting up and running out of his office, she left the building before finding a solitary spot on the academy campus. Sitting under a tree, she cried and deeply regretted giving her communicator to Marcus.  _"I'm so tired,"_ she thought as she fingered the lapis lazuli pendant John had given her his vow of eternal love. _"I'm tired of getting hurt at the hands of others, and for pity's sake, I'm so tired of throwing up all the time. Oh John, I wish I could just hear your voice right now. I would give almost anything to know you're safe."_

Once again on Kronos, John sat in an abandoned building in the uninhabited Ketha Province. Taking out his PADD, he pulled up pictures of Catherine that he had taken of her while on Risa and smiled despite the ache in his heart before reflecting on their cruel fate as star-crossed lovers. Gently stroking his favorite picture of her and remembering the soft warmth of her skin under his touch, he recalled another passage from  _Paradise Lost_ :

"While yet we live, scarce one short hour perhaps,

Between us two let there be peace, both joining,

As joined in injuries, one enmity

Against a foe by doom express assigned us,

That cruel serpent."

Putting the PADD away, he sighed forlornly and growled, "I will avenge you, Imzadi. I will crush the head of that foul serpent with my bare hands!"


	24. NCC-1701

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Merry Christmas to you all especially my beloved followers and reviewers! I was not sure I was going to be able to pull this off, but I had a really slow day in the office at the hospital as expected. So, I took my laptop and was able to get this done for you all before Christmas!
> 
> Used some more dialogue from Into Darkness as it fit into the story line.
> 
> Listening track selections: "Try" by P!nk, "Brigadoom" by Michael Giacchino, "Going Under" by Evanescence, and "Mystery of You" by Red

After her argument with Admiral Marcus and subsequent breakdown while sitting under a tree on the campus of Starfleet Academy, Catherine started plexing and managed to calm herself down.  _"I must have aggravated my sprain,"_  she thought as she got up off the ground noting the pain in her ankle. Limping slightly, she went to gather her luggage and register for the shuttle that would take her to the  _Enterprise_ **. **

Showing her PADD to the officer checking boarding staff for their travel orders, she reported, "Lieutenant Catherine Troi presenting for transfer to the USS  _Enterprise_  as head nurse."

"Your orders from Admiral Marcus all seem to be in line," the young man nodded. "She's a beautiful ship. I think you'll like it there."

"Thank you," she took her PADD back and boarded the shuttle. Hoping her stomach would behave, she settled comfortably into her seat and waited for takeoff. As the shuttle left the atmosphere, she admired the view of the blue sphere that she had called home for most of her life.

" _I've never served aboard a starship,"_  she thought as they approached the  _Enterprise's_  shuttle-bay.  _"Who knows what we may face. I must be brave,"_  she resolved.  _"I will work hard and make John proud."_

Grateful that the shuttle ride was short and uneventful in that she did not need to run to the lavatory to throw up, she was greeted by a young commander who granted her permission to board and provided her with directions to her quarters. After depositing her luggage in her new quarters and freshening up, she decided to go ahead and present herself to sickbay to introduce herself to Dr. McCoy. Making a couple wrong turns and asking for directions, she finally found the ship's main medical bay.

Eyeing the chief medical officer, she walked towards him to greet him. "Lieutenant Catherine Troi reporting for duty, sir," she handed Dr. McCoy her PADD so he could read her transfer orders.

"Head nurse?" he asked and she nodded. "Well then, I'll have none of that, miss."

"Pardon?"

"Nurse Troi, I'm just an old country doctor. No need for that bureaucratic and military nonsense in my sickbay. Understand?"

"Yes, doctor," she smiled lightly at his cantankerous response to her introduction.

"So, what in God's name happened to you?" he asked noting the injuries to her face.

"I was injured in the terrorist attack on the Kelvin Memorial Archives in London."

"I'm sorry to hear that. What were you doing in London anyway?"

"I was working with Section 31 on a project there. Our labs were below the archives. The doctor I was working with and I got out of the building just in time, but we were still injured." She was suddenly overwhelmed with nausea. "Oh shit," she swore under her breath panicking as she looked around for something in which she could throw up. Spotting a large, empty beaker, she picked it up and threw up a small amount into it.

"Are you okay, nurse?" Dr. McCoy rushed over to her.

"I'm so sorry," she apologized looking around to find a sink to clean out the beaker. "I'm so embarrassed. I'm making a horrible impression," her faced burned red.

"Come on," he took the beaker out of her hand and pulled her to the nearest biobed. "Sit, I'll get you a hypospray of an antiemetic."

"No!" she stopped him. "I'm severely allergic to all Starfleet manufactured antiemetic medications. I would rather not," she insisted.

"Well, you won't exactly be much help if you're going to have space sickness all the time."

"Actually, I'm just recovering from a concussion. The nausea and vomiting have been particularly troublesome symptoms for me. I was starting to feel better, but since the explosion, my symptoms have been exacerbated quite a bit."

"I suppose it's time for a good old-fashioned country remedy," he smiled. "Go to your quarters to rest and sip on ginger ale."

"Ginger ale?" she raised a brow.

"Yes, the ginger will soothe your stomach."

"I don't want to be an inconvenience."

"You're no good to anyone in your condition. Stay in your quarters until you're feeling better. Rest remains the best treatment for concussions. I'll stop by and check on you every once in a while to see how you are recovering. And, until I clear you for return to duty, I do not want to see your face in this sickbay unless you're in need of medical attention."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, now get going, kiddo," he smiled and nodded his head towards the door.

"Thank you, Dr. McCoy. I promise that I will make up for this fiasco."

"Don't worry about it. I've managed okay without a head nurse since Christine Chapel left."

"Oh, yes, I know Christine. I heard about the circumstances leading to her departure. No need to worry about that with me. Now, if you're still sure, I'll go ahead to my quarters."

"I'll be fine until you're well again. Besides, if you're embarrassed about tossing your cookies, you should have seen how the captain started out on the  _Enterprise_. He was a medical nightmare," he laughed out loud recalling in his mind how he kept injecting Kirk with hyposprays of various medications much to his aggravation. "Now, go get some rest. I'll check on you in the morning if possible."

"Thanks again. See you tomorrow," she smiled weakly and headed out of sickbay.

Stopping now and then to ask for directions, she attempted to make her way back to her quarters. "Catherine?" a female voice that she recognized called out behind her causing her to turn around. "It's been forever since I've heard from you!"

"Oh, Jan, I'm so sorry I haven't kept in touch," she ran to hug her best friend. "I'm such a horrible friend, but you have no idea how glad I am to see you!"

"Honey, you look terrible," Janice frowned noting dark circles under Catherine's eyes as well as the scabbed over abrasions and bruises on her face. "What happened?"

"Torchwood. Harkness. Canary Wharf. Doomsday. Are you going on duty right now?"

"No, I just got finished."

"Do you want to go somewhere private and catch up?"

"Absolutely! We can go to my quarters," she wrapped her arm around her friend and led the way. "Would you like something to drink?" she offered after they arrived.

"I suppose some ginger ale. My stomach has been a bit upset lately. Dr. McCoy insists that it will help," Catherine replied as she sat down on Janice's bed wrapping her arms around herself. "If I tell you what's been going on with me, can I trust you not to tell anyone?"

"You know I would never jeopardize your safety or your integrity. I want to help you," she sat next to her handing her a small glass of cold ginger ale.

"My colleague, the man I referred to as Harkness when I first started at Section 31, he ended up being my everything, all that I had ever wanted in a man. He was so sad, so lonely when we first met, and yet, he was so beautiful inside and out. We worked together nearly everyday and became close. Before we knew it, our forbidden love for each other had bloomed. We married secretly so that our colleagues in Section 31 would not find out. There were many extenuating circumstances that if someone, especially Admiral Marcus, knew about us being together, lives other than just our own would have been in danger. Despite all of that, we were so happy. I had never seen him smile so much. Then one morning he suddenly told me he had to go on a secret mission and never returned. Admiral Marcus told me that he had gone rogue and that intelligence has shown him involved in activities against Starfleet. Imzadi," a couple of tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Oh, Catherine," Janice hugged her. "Let it out."

"I am so confused. Being my Imzadi, we could communicate telepathically, and never once did I sense any deceit or lies on his behalf. Either he somehow completely deceived me or something is utterly wrong. Knowing what they have done to him in the past, I have to hope that it is the second option, but I could no longer wait around for him. I had to get out. There were too many memories in London. Besides, with him gone, the archives destroyed, and the doctor in charge of our research injured, the project I was working on was put on hiatus, so I had no reason to stick around twiddling my thumbs. I just needed to get away, as far away from London as possible, so I asked to be transferred to a starship until the project is resumed."

"I can't believe you're married! Can you tell me more about your husband?"

"It's pretty amazing, almost unbelievable what I'm going to tell you about him, but Marla McGivers confirmed his true identity and can back me up if you need the proof."

"Marla? Didn't she specialize in 20th century Earth history?"

"Yes."

"Wait, are you saying this man is around 300 years old?" her mouth gaped.

"History tells us his name was Khan Noonien Singh, but to Section 31 and to me, he is Commander John Harrison. He is one of the Augment leaders from the Eugenics Wars. He and his people, his family, were condemned to death for crimes against humanity, crimes that they did not truly commit. They escaped on a sleeper ship called the _Botany Bay_  where they cryogenically froze themselves in hopes of finding acceptance and a new chance at life in the future or even on a distant planet. Unfortunately, humanity has not changed much in the past 300 years. When Admiral Marcus found them, he only reanimated John. Marcus had him tortured," Catherine's voice cracked.

"Shh," Janice comforted her.

Calming down, Catherine continued, "Marcus had him tortured when they figured out he was an Augment to see how he could handle injuries, pain. Then they forced him to work on designing weaponry with the threat of eradicating his family one by one if he did not cooperate. Marcus has killed at least one already. John and I smuggled almost all the rest of his family into the photon torpedo tubes he has been working on and onto a ship he designed called the  _Vengeance_. I don't know if Marcus knows about them being there or not, but he knows about our marriage now. Jan, I'm so worried about John. Ugh, my ankle is killing me!" she suddenly shouted in frustration out of emotional and physical pain.

"What exactly happened to you?"

"I was injured in the terrorist attack at the Kelvin Memorial Archives. The Section 31 branch in London was located underneath it. As I said, the doctor I worked with was also injured. He has some brain damage."

"That Harewood bastard! What the hell did he have to do that for? All of those innocent people!" Janice grew angry.

"Uh oh," Catherine put a hand over her stomach. "Can I use your bathroom?"

"Sure, over there." Catherine limped quickly into Janice's bathroom and immediately started to vomit. "Oh dear," Janice ran to help her.

"I'm okay," Catherine wiped her mouth. "That should be all for now."

"For now? Catherine, what is wrong with you? Are you sick? You've never had issues with space sickness before," she noted as she helped Catherine back to the bed and had her lay down.

"I'm pregnant," Catherine began to cry as she curled up in a ball to try to alleviate the cramping in her stomach.

After Catherine finally calmed down, Janice insisted that she stay the night in her quarters. "I'm sure Dr. McCoy can give you something for the nausea."

"Unfortunately, as I already explained to Dr. McCoy, I'm allergic to the synthetic components that are used in antiemetic medications manufactured by Starfleet. Sure, he could give me something to counteract the allergic reaction, but I don't want to endanger the baby. I did not lie to Dr. McCoy in that I do have a concussion, and he has basically confined me to my quarters until I'm better. This, however," she rubbed her lower abdomen, "is not going to go away anytime soon, and I'm worried that my nausea and vomiting is getting worse. So, at this rate, I'm going to be stuck in my quarters most of the time with my thoughts. Figures," she sat up on the side of the bed. "John doesn't know," she again rested her hand over the baby bump which was just barely starting to show. "I found out two weeks after he left. With how much Marcus has lied to both of us, for all I know John is dead."

"I'm so sorry. I wish there was something I could do."

"Just be my friend, Jan. Right now, that's all I need."

"You obviously won't be able to hide your pregnancy forever. I know you can't come right out and tell anyone that John is the father or that you're carrying the child of an Augment, but it might be a good idea to seek Dr. McCoy's assistance. He can be cranky, but he is an excellent doctor, a kind man, and a good friend. I'm sure he could come up with a solution to help you feel better. And besides, do we know anything about pregnancies with Augment children? What if the baby or you are at high risk for complications?"

"I'll think about it, and you're right, I can't hide it forever. I'm so tired of lying, but perhaps one last lie will at least ensure that our child and I get the best medical care possible. I will just tell Dr. McCoy that I suspect I am pregnant, let him confirm it, and let him take things from there," she suggested. "He can treat it as a typical pregnancy, but if any problems arise, he can intervene."

"If you want, I can always go with you for moral support," Janice offered.

"Okay, sounds like a plan. We'll just have to figure out the best time to carry it out."

Captain Kirk's voice suddenly came over the speakers of Janice's quarters as he started a ship-wide communication: "Attention, crew of the  _Enterprise_. As most of you know, Christopher Pike, former captain of this ship, and our friend, is dead. The man who killed him has fled our system and is hiding on the Klingon homeworld, somewhere he believes we are unwilling to go. We are on our way there now. Per Admiral Marcus, it is essential that our presence go undetected. Tensions between the Federation and the Klingon Empire have been high. Any provocation could lead to an all out war. I will personally lead a landing party to an abandoned city on the surface of Kronos where we will capture the fugitive-"

"Oh, not again!" Janice moaned as the speakers in her room cut off Captain Kirk's message mid sentence. "This is the third time this has happened! I'm going to have to speak with Commander Scott and let him know his crew has yet to correct this issue adequately."

"Just as he was going to tell us the name of whom we're going after, too," Catherine shrugged her shoulders. "I don't exactly like the idea of them going to Kronos. John insists that Marcus wants to start a war with the Klingons. What if this is the opportunity he's been waiting for?"

"Commander Spock is half-Vulcan and will do his best to keep the captain in line. I do not think he would let him do something that risky if he thought they could be detected."

"So, I didn't get a chance to ask, but I assume you got the yeoman position?"

"Yes, I'm Captain Kirk's yeoman, actually."

"Oh dear, what's that like? He hasn't tried making any moves on you, has he?" she managed to chuckle.

"He flirted with me a few times at the beginning, and I put a stop to that right away. He seemed to understand, and now I kind of feel like he's an older brother to me."

The two friends spent more time catching up with each other regarding the months that had passed since they had seen each other. Janice particularly enjoyed Catherine's stories about her relationship with John. Suddenly, the ship lurched violently. "What was that?" Catherine asked.

"That's odd. We dropped out of warp. Wonder what's going on? Oh well, you rest a while, and if you're feeling well enough and have any appetite, later we can head down to the mess hall and get something to eat."

"Okay," Catherine agreed.

As the engineering crew of the  _Enterprise_  worked on correcting what was believed to be a coolant leak, John, oblivious of their proximity to his location, went for a walk in what was once a bustling city in the Ketha Province on Kronos. He pulled up his hood and covered his face to protect himself from the high ash and pollutant content of the air. Looking up in the sky at the remains of the moon Praxis, the thought,  _"I suppose that no matter what color we bleed, we're all made of greed. The Klingons' greed and ambition to dominate those around them ultimately led to their demise. Were we Augments any different?"_

John wandered into what appeared to have been a school. Empty desks and chairs filled the abandoned rooms. Being quite intelligent and quickly learning intermediate Klingon during his time at Section 31, he picked up an open book off one of the desks and looked at the page of ornamental Klingon script.  _"A story about the great Klingon hero Kahless the Unforgettable,"_  he noted before closing it and putting it back down.  _"If things had ended differently, I wonder if there would have been stories written about me and my rule as Khan. Most of my people seemed to love me. I can remember their smiles and shouts of adoration when I would appear or speak to them. Mothers would insist that I kiss their children for good luck. We had peace for a time, and my people lacked nothing. Yet, they were fickle. Once we went to war, they no longer sang my praises. Instead, they cursed my fellow Augments and me. They blamed us for their suffering at the hands of the other Augment leaders as we fought amongst ourselves. We were made to be better, and yet, we were just as bad if not worse than our creators."_

Consumed with his thoughts and regrets, John walked back out into the empty streets and thought about a quote attributed to the ancient Earth author Nathaniel Hawthorne reciting it in his mind:  _"Eager souls, mystics and revolutionaries may propose to refashion the world in accordance with their dreams; but evil remains, and so long as it lurks in the secret places of the heart, utopia is only the shadow of a dream."_

Wandering about more of the city ruins, he continued to think to himself.  _"When we decided to escape and enter cryostasis, we had hoped for a better future for ourselves and for peace, but it was also our plan to continue the work we had started once we were reanimated. That most undoubtedly would have meant conflict and perhaps even war if we met resistance. During my time working for and suffering at the hands of Admiral Marcus and his colleagues, I have seen how extensive the galaxy truly is and that I am but one small man. What were we thinking? How could a rag-tag band of less than one hundred Augment humans take over a planet let alone a star system? We may be better, but we are few. And by now, we may only be one if Marcus has destroyed every last person I hold dear. Catherine,"_ he sighed.

Feeling a bout of rage coming on at thinking about Marcus, Catherine's supposed death, and the possibility that Marcus had eradicated every single member of his family, John started to quickly walk back to where he had been holed up while on Kronos. Hearing some growls and squealing, a Klingon targ, a large, boar-like creature known to be vicious and destructive, came charging at him. Not typically a predator, the animal was likely starving and desperate for food and hoped to gore and kill John for a meal. As the targ reached John, he angrily grabbed the beast by its tusks and slammed it into a nearby boulder killing it.

"Disgusting creature," he spat, "but I suppose it will do," he slung it over his shoulder to take it back and cook it on a spit over a fire.

Having roasted the targ, John sat down in the abandoned Klingon home he had set up as his headquarters to eat a small meal of the roasted targ meat as he had recently ran out of what little Starfleet issued provisions he had previously smuggled onto the planet. Suddenly, a comm burst aimed at his location activated his Starfleet issued communicator.

"Attention, John Harrison," a voice he did not recognize emanated from the device, "this is Captain Hikaru Sulu of the USS  _Enterprise_. A shuttle of highly trained officers is on its way to your location. If you do not surrender to them immediately, I will launch an entire payload of advanced long-range torpedoes currently locked on your location. You have two minutes to confirm your compliance. Refusal to do so will result in your obliteration. If you test me, you will fail."

" _Long-range torpedoes? No!"_ he felt as if his heart had skipped a few beats hearing the captain's threat.  _"I would rather die than surrender, but if my surrender means their lives may be spared, I must submit myself to whatever hell Marcus may have in mind for me. My love for my family will always be greater than my hate for Marcus,"_ he resolved standing up from the table.

John suddenly heard several D4 class Klingon bird-of-prey ships flying overhead and the sound of a ship he did not recognize. He then heard one of Klingon ship captains ordering the unknown vessel to surrender. Curious, John peeked out to see a small ship landing on the surface as it was surrounded by the Klingon patrol. The leader of the Klingon patrol and some of his officers disembarked and awaited the crew of the surrendered vessel to appear.

Much to John's surprise, a slim human woman of African descent exited the surrendered shuttle and made her way to the Klingon captain. Unbeknownst to John, she was communications officer Lieutenant Nyota Uhura from the  _Enterprise_. What he found even more astounding was that she started speaking fluent Klingon. With his sharp and heightened sense of hearing, John could hear her boldly explaining that she and her fellow crew were there to aid the Klingons and that they were searching for a deadly terrorist.

" _Looks like my ride is here, but they are no match for all these Klingons. I can't believe I have to do this,"_  John scowled to himself as he gathered his weapons.

As John peered out again at the scene unfolding before him, the Klingon captain suddenly grabbed the human woman by the chin and throat and lifted her off the ground. Seeing the Klingon going to reach for his weapon to undoubtedly kill her, John jumped out and started shooting at the Klingon patrol with the enhanced phaser and phase cannon he had designed.

Despite the brute strength of the Klingons, compared to John, they tended to be quite slow, and he made quick work of disposing of the patrol ships and their crews while defending the human woman and her companions who had joined in on the battle. Finding the woman, a human man, and a Vulcan cowering behind a wall, John pulled down his mask revealing himself to the trio and aimed his phaser rifle at them.

"How many torpedoes?" John asked with desperation in his voice.

"Stand down!" the Vulcan, Commander Spock, threatened aiming back at John who quickly shot the weapon out of his hand.

"Your torpedoes! The weapons you threatened me with in your message. How many are there?"

"Seventy-two," the Vulcan replied.

John felt like he had rats gnawing the inside of his stomach as he dropped his weapons, "I surrender."

The human man, not yet bothering to introduce himself as Captain Kirk, got up and approached John. "On the behalf of Christopher Pike, my friend, I accept your surrender," he spat as he suddenly started to punch John repeatedly in the face. Knowing if he were to resist or even try to fight back that harm may befall his family, John merely withstood the blows to his face that did little damage to his augmented body.

Shocked at her commanding officer's behavior, Uhura gasped, "Captain!"

Kirk stopped punching John who looked at him confused. "Captain?" he asked out loud as the message he had received was from a man of obvious Asian descent.

"Cuff him!" Kirk spat to Spock and walked back to their ship.

John willingly held out his hands as Spock placed thick shackles over his wrists. He and Uhura then led him back to their ship and had John sit in the back with a couple of security officers. Despite his inner turmoil, John sat and stared coldly straight ahead ignoring the activity of those around him.

Upon arriving on the  _Enterprise_ , a contingent of security officers in red Starfleet uniforms greeted them. As they led John through the ship to the brig, out of the corner of his eye he saw a brunette woman in a blue uniform accompanied by a blonde woman in a red uniform heading into what he thought appeared to be the ship's mess hall. He strained to hear their voices. Managing to catch a couple of the brunette's words, he gasped,  _"Catherine? No, it cannot be."_ He frowned, _"It's impossible."_

"Keep moving!" one of the officers jabbed him in the back with his phaser.

Reaching the brig, one of the officers pushed him inside a cell and activated the security force field that resembled a sheet of glass. Creating a small opening, the officer instructed John to hold out his arms so that the handcuffs could be removed. John complied and lightly rubbed his wrists once they were free. As the security officers left, Kirk, Spock, Dr. McCoy, and a female nurse entered the brig.

"Why the hell did he surrender?" the doctor muttered under his breath although John could easily hear him.

"I don't know, but he just took out a squadron of Klingons singlehandedly. I wanna know how," Kirk replied.

"Sounds like we have a superman on board," McCoy quipped.

"You tell me," Kirk sighed as the four of them reached John's cell. "Strip down completely," he ordered John. "Get washed. We will give you a clean uniform."

"Can I have some privacy, captain?" John glared and replied coldly.

"You've forfeited the privilege of common decency," Kirk growled as his companions looked at him surprised with his response. "Now strip."

John obeyed Kirk's orders and removed every bit of clothing he had on until he was stark naked. A bin popped out from the wall of his cell, and he placed his clothing into it as instructed by the nurse that accompanied Dr. McCoy. In the corner of his cell, a stream of hot water appeared for him to get washed. Standing under the shower, John's head throbbed in pain as one of his headaches began to take hold of him.

While Augments usually did not mind being nude in front of others, given his circumstances, John could not help but feel a bit shamed as he once again felt that he was being treated like an animal. As the hot water washed away the dirt, ash, targ blood, and lavender Klingon blood that covered the areas of his skin that were exposed while on Kronos, John winced lightly realizing that he had a gash on his side where one of the Klingons had just barely caught him with the end of their bat'leth blades. Gently washing away the blood that had congealed there, some fresh blood took its place before his skin started to close up and heal causing the others in the room to stare in shock at his ability to heal so quickly. Guessing that they were staring at him and despite his shame, John turned around in defiance to face them, his face twisted in pain and anger as the water ran down his face and over his bare body.

Realizing that they were staring at him and feeling a little guilty, the four turned away and started to discuss the situation at hand as John finished his shower, dried off, and put on the black uniform he had been provided.  _"Although humiliating me, why would Kirk insist on me showering and providing other such basic human needs?"_  John thought while dressing.  _"Kirk tries to come across as a fighter, but he is a lover that clearly has a wounded heart. Perhaps I can use that knowledge to my advantage."_

McCoy dismissed the nurse, and then he, Kirk, Spock approached John's cell. "Put your arm through the hole. I'm gonna take a blood sample," Dr. McCoy explained.

"Why aren't we moving, captain? An unexpected malfunction perhaps in your warp core conveniently stranding you on the edge of Klingon space?" John questioned as McCoy withdrew the sample of blood.

"How the hell do you know that?" the doctor raised a brow.

"Bones," Kirk scolded his friend.

"I think you'd find my insight valuable, captain," John returned his cold gaze to Kirk.

"Are we good?" Kirk asked Dr. McCoy.

"Yeah," he replied.

"Let me know what you find," Kirk instructed him as they started to leave the brig ignoring John's comments.

"Ignore me," John called after the captain, " and you will get everyone on this ship killed."

With John's warning, Captain Kirk stopped in his tracks. "Captain," Spock cautioned him, "I believe he will only attempt to manipulate you. I would not recommend engaging the prisoner further."

"Give me a minute," Kirk walked back to John's cell to address him. "Let me explain what's happening here. You are a criminal! I watched you murder innocent men and women! I was authorized to end you, and the only reason why you are still alive is because I am allowing it, so shut your mouth!" he shouted at John.

"Oh captain, you can punch me again over and over until your arm weakens. Clearly you want to. So, tell me, why did you allow me to live?"

"We all make mistakes," Kirk huffed.

"No, I surrendered to you because despite your attempt to convince me otherwise, you seem to have a conscience, Mr. Kirk. If you did not, then it would be impossible for me to convince you of the truth. 2-3-1-7-4-6-1-1. Coordinates not far from Earth. If you want to know why I did what I did, go and take a look."

"Give me one reason why I should listen to you!"

"I can give you seventy-two, and they're on board your ship, captain. They have been all along. I suggest you open one up."

During John's time in the brig, Catherine and Janice sat in the mess hall to eat a late supper. Catherine continued to sip on some ginger ale per Dr. McCoy's suggestion and did her best to eat the salad she ordered from the replicator.

"You feeling okay?" Janice asked noting Catherine picking at her food.

"Well, I've felt worse. I'm just not very hungry right now, but I think I'm getting used to force-feeding myself," she shrugged her shoulders.

"I'm all finished. Do you want to head back to my quarters now? I don't want you to spend your first night on board alone in your condition."

"Sure, I should get some rest. Let's go," Catherine agreed as they got up to dispose of their trays and dishes.

Making their way back to Janice's quarters, Janice asked quietly, "Do you have any pictures of John?"

"Yes, I have some saved on my PADD as long as he didn't delete them. He would not have wanted evidence of our relationship existing out of concern for my safety. Worst case scenario, I'll pull up his Starfleet dossier."

The two friends took a shortcut and walked past the area of the ship containing the brig.  _"2-3-1-7-4-6-1-1."_

"Did you say something?" Catherine asked.

"No, why?"

"I thought I heard someone giving coordinates."

"There's no one here," Janice insisted as they looked around the empty hallways. "Nobody usually bothers to come down this way."

"Great, now I'm hearing things," Catherine sighed.

Reaching Janice's quarters, Catherine sat in a chair and pulled off her boots. "Here," Janice pushed an Ottoman over for her to prop up her feet. "You said you thought you heard someone listing coordinates."

"I think I'm just tired and losing my mind. The last time I had this happen, though, was when John and I were falling in love. Admiral Marcus gave me permission to use my psionic abilities during my time in Section 31. In fact, he insisted that I use them to keep an eye on John. Since I'm only half-Betazoid, I've never been really able to share a telepathic link with anyone other than my mother. I'm not sure why I was able to start a link with John prior to our physical bonding, but he and I think him being an Augment might have something to do with it."

"Catherine, if you're hearing things, maybe he's nearby somewhere."

"No, that's impossible. He'd have to be on this ship and in close proximity to me for us to communicate with each other telepathically. Besides, if he was on this ship, I'd know it as well as everyone else given the fact that he's now a fugitive working against Starfleet."

"I guess you're right. Sorry, too bad it wasn't true."

"Do you still want to see his picture?"

"Of course," Janice smiled.

" _2-3-1-7-4-6-1-1."_ Catherine pulled out her PADD trying to forget that she thought she heard anything, but the numbers kept repeating in her head. " _2-3-1-7-4-6-1-1. Where have I heard those coordinates before? 2-3-1-7-4-6-1-1."_


	25. Doomsday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The last Into Darkness dialogue-heavy chapter as things will soon be redirecting away from the original plot of the film. I apologize ahead of time for Chekov's horribly typed out Russian accent, haha! Enjoy!
> 
> Listening track selections: "Doomsday" and "A Thousand Deaths" by Globus; "Overtake You," "Faceless," "Nothing and Everything," and "Watch you Crawl" by Red

"Damn it," Catherine groaned looking through the files on her PADD. "It looks like John found most of the pictures I took of him and deleted them. Let me try one more place where he might not have bothered to look." Opening said file, she beamed. "Aha! Here's my John, my Imzadi," she turned the PADD around and handed it to her best friend. "This is a picture of us after our wedding ceremony on Risa. The Risian that owned the chapel took it for me."

"Catherine, he's so handsome. His features are kind of unique, yet he's beautiful. You both look so happy. Where did you get that sari?"

"John gave it to me. I still have it and nabbed the sherwani he wore from his quarters before I left London. It's still hard to believe that I married a man who used to be a prince."

"A prince that looks a lot like Sherlock," Janice giggled. "What is he like?"

"Being an Augment, John is physically stronger than the average man, and yet, he is capable of being so gentle. Emotionally, he feels more deeply than any human I know. His heart is abounding with love for his family, and when I was sure of it, for me as well. He is an amazing lover and friend. He is a genius, and despite his usual outward display of confidence, I know that he sometimes feels so unsure of himself. He's my lonely angel."

"Aww, kind of like the Doctor from  _Doctor Who_?"

"Yes," she smiled sadly. "He's like the Tenth Doctor, the one who regrets, and like the Eleventh Doctor in that he tries to forget. And here I was worried about what would happen to him if we bonded and things ended badly. I'm a wreck. If he's still alive, I cannot even begin to imagine the pain he's experiencing right now. I miss him so much."

"Don't give up, Cath. You need to hold on and hope that he's okay. I know I'm not a Betazoid, but in this picture, I can see in his eyes the love he has for you."

"I guess you're right. Despite everything we went through while in Section 31, he always told me to trust in us. I'll try to hold on for him," she started to cry a little causing Janice to get up and give her a tight hug.

Meanwhile, Carol Marcus, who had once again used her mother's surname of Wallace and had falsified her transfer orders in order to board the  _Enterprise_  to track John's torpedoes, had accompanied Dr. McCoy and just discovered John's family inside said torpedoes.

Captain Kirk barged into the brig and approached John's cell. "Why is there a man in that torpedo?" he demanded John answer him.

"There are men and women in all those torpedoes, captain. I put them there," he answered.  _"It is probably best for me to not mention Catherine. If by some miracle Marcus lied to me and she is still alive, I will no longer put her in harm's way,"_  he thought sadly.

"Who the hell are you?" Kirk glared at him through the transparent security shield.

"A remnant of a time long past. Genetically engineered to be superior so as to lead others to peace in a world at war, but we were condemned as criminals, forced into exile. For centuries we slept hoping when we awoke things would be different, but as a result of the destruction of Vulcan, your Starfleet began to aggressively search distant quadrants of space. My ship was found adrift. I alone was revived," John painfully recalled his past both distant and recent.

"I looked up John Harrison. Until a year ago, he didn't exist."

"John Harrison was a fiction created the moment I was awoken by your Admiral Marcus to help him advance his cause, a smokescreen to conceal my true identity. My name is Khan," he hissed.  _"That is, Khan is the historical name most seem to know."_

"Why would a Starfleet admiral ask a three hundred year old frozen man for help?" Kirk questioned.

"Because I am better."

"At what?"

"Everything. Alexander Marcus needed to respond to an uncivilized threat in a civilized time, but for that he needed a warrior's mind, my mind, to design weapons and warships."

Spock interjected, "You are suggesting the admiral violated every regulation he vowed to uphold simply because he wanted to exploit your intellect."

"He wanted to exploit my savagery," John growled. "Intellect alone is useless in a fight, Mister Spock. You can't even break a rule. How would you be expected to break bone? Marcus used me to design weapons to help him realize his vision of a militarized Starfleet. He sent you," he turned again to Kirk, "to use those weapons, to fire my torpedoes on an unsuspecting planet. And then he purposely crippled your ship in enemy space leading to one inevitable outcome. The Klingons will come searching for whomever was responsible, and you would have no chance of escape. Marcus would finally have the war he talked about, the war he always wanted."

"No, no! I watched you open fire on a room full of unarmed Starfleet officers! You killed them in cold blood!" Kirk became angry remembering the death of his friend, mentor, and father figure Admiral Pike.

"Marcus took my crew from me!"

"You are a murderer!"

"He used my friends to control me. I tried to smuggle them to safety by concealing them in the very weapons I had designed, but I was discovered. I had no choice but to escape alone. And when I did, I had every reason to suspect that Marcus had killed every single one of the people I hold most dear," John turned around to face Kirk and Spock as a tear rolled down his cheek as he thought of his family and especially Catherine. "So I responded in kind. My crew is my family, Kirk. Is there anything you would not do for your family?" he asked.  _"Imzadi, if only they knew what Marcus had put us through."_

"Proximity alert, sir," helmsman Lieutenant Sulu who had earlier posed as captain alerted Kirk and Spock. "There's a ship at warp heading right for us."

"Klingons?" Kirk wondered aloud.

"At warp? No, Kirk, we both know who it is," John warned him.

"I don't think so," Sulu continued. "It's not coming at us from Kronos."

Kirk looked to the officer stationed in the brig. "Lieutenant, move Khan to the med bay. Post six security officers on him," he commanded before running to the bridge.

As ordered, John was moved to the medical bay by a contingent of security officers. Upon arriving, Dr. McCoy instructed him to sit on one of the biobeds. "Nurse Tennant," McCoy approached the nurse that had assisted him with John earlier in the brig, "please begin basic diagnostic scans of Commander Harrison."

Per McCoy's instruction, the nurse started scanning John with her tricorder. Although doing his best to remain stoic, he shifted ever so slightly uncomfortable with the nurse's scanning.  _"This nurse is incompetent,"_  he thought to himself.  _"She could take some pointers from Catherine. My Catherine,"_  he shuddered slightly.

"I'm sorry about earlier in the brig," Nurse Tennant suddenly whispered to John noting his discomfort. "That was wrong of the captain to do that to you. You had to feel humiliated having to strip down in front of us like that."

"I've experienced worse at the hands of Starfleet," he found himself whispering back before an unchecked tear suddenly rolled down his cheek. He quickly wiped it away hoping she did not see it.

"Are you sure you're alright?"

"No, I'm fine. It's just," he hesitated.

"Is there something I can do? Are you in pain?"

"You just remind me a little of someone very dear to me, someone I love. She is, or rather, she was a nurse, too."

"I'm so sorry," she paused. "What was she like?" she resumed scanning.

"Her name was Catherine. She was a most excellent nurse, compassionate and empathetic towards those in her care. Those were but only a couple of her qualities that made me fall in love with her."

"Funny, we have a new head-"

"Nurse Tennant," McCoy interrupted her, "if you're finished, I'll take over."

"Yes, Dr. McCoy," she walked away as he started performing his own scans of John.

Elsewhere on the bridge, Captain Kirk did his best to argue his case to Admiral Marcus who had arrived to the  _Enterprise_ 's current location on the  _Vengeance_. Kirk had Uhura broadcast Marcus' communication ship-wide for the record, but the communications system in Janice's quarters was still malfunctioning. Even if it did work, the two women had fallen fast asleep.

"Per Starfleet regulation, I'm planning on returning Khan to Earth to stand trial," Kirk stated confidently.

"Well shit," Marcus swore," you talked to him. It's exactly what I was hoping to spare you from. I took a tactical risk when I woke that bastard up believing that his superior intelligence could help us protect ourselves from whatever came at us next, but I made a mistake. And now, the blood of everybody he's killed is on my hands. So, I'm asking you. Give him to me, so that I can end what I started."

Kirk could hardly believe his ears when Marcus asked that he hand over John so that he could kill him. "And what exactly would you like me to do with the rest of his crew, sir? Fire them at the Klingons? End seventy-two lives? Start a war in the process?"

"He put those people in those torpedoes, and I simply didn't want to burden you with knowing what was inside of them," Marcus tried to explain. "You saw what this man can do all by himself, but I also have strong reason to believe that one of my very own Section 31 staff members was helping him. That devil can easily seduce others with his tongue."

"And what became of your staff member? Did you have them killed, too?"

"That person was punished, yes, but I can assure you that they are safe and sound freshly transferred to a starship."

"No!" John shouted and clenched his jaw as he and the others listened to Marcus and Kirk's conversation. "That bastard! He's lying!" his head throbbed hearing Marcus weave yet another tale about John and those he loved.

"That'll be enough of that!" Dr. McCoy walked over. "I will not tolerate that kind of outburst in my sickbay again," he scolded John. "This is a place of healing, not a battlefield. For god's sake, the captain is trying to help you, Harrison. Now behave yourself before I have to inject you with a sedative!"

John did his best to resume appearing that he had control of his emotions sitting straight up on the biobed despite the sharp pain in his head.  _"I do not know what to believe anymore. Is Catherine dead or alive? Marcus insisted that she died in London, and yet here he is telling Kirk that she is on a starship. If she is alive, where is she? If only I could sense her presence, hear her thoughts one last time."_

Marcus continued to argue his case against John and his people. "Can you imagine what would happen if we woke up the rest of his crew? What else did he tell you? That he's a peacekeeper? He's playing you, son! Don't you see that? Khan and his crew are nothing but a bunch of animals that were condemned to death as war criminals. And now it is our duty to carry out that sentence before anyone else dies because of him." Sensing Kirk's hesitation and resistance, he emphasized, "I'm gonna ask you again one last time, son! Lower your shields. Tell me where he is."

"He's in engineering, sir, but I'll have him moved to the transporter room right away," Kirk lied.

"I'll take it from here," Marcus agreed.

Despite Kirk's promise to have John moved to the transporter room, after confirming with acting chief engineer Ensign Pavel Chekov that they could use warp, Kirk ordered Sulu to set course for Earth and enter warp drive.

"Well, at least we're moving again," McCoy noted as they entered warp.

"If you think you're safe at warp, you're wrong," John turned to glare at Carol Marcus who had remained with Dr. McCoy after discovering John's family in the torpedoes. Seeing the wrath in John's eyes and realizing what he meant, she ran to the bridge to warn Captain Kirk that her father was undoubtedly pursing them on the  _Vengeance_.

Back in Janice's quarters, the two best friends remained asleep. Janice was tired from her twelve-hour shift on duty, and Catherine was exhausted from her ongoing physical symptoms from her pregnancy and emotional tribulations. Janice insisted that Catherine take her bed and traded places with her taking the armchair and Ottoman. Suddenly, they were both shaken awake as the ship shuddered and the red alert alarm started to signal.

"What's going on?" Catherine sat up and rubbed her eyes.

"Ugh, I have no idea," Janice groaned.

"Shit, I hope it's not the Klingons," she worried aloud not knowing it was in fact Marcus using the  _Vengeance_ to fire upon the  _Enterprise_.

"I've never known you to swear so much," Janice got up out of the chair before an explosion tore apart her quarters throwing both women to the floor.

"Jan!" Catherine choked on the smoke and dust in the air. "Where are you?" she called out again.

"I'm over here," a weak voice replied from behind a pile of rubble.

After determining that she was not severely injured, Catherine got up and started to dig through the debris. "Hold on! I'm going to dig you out," she encouraged her friend.

"No, get out of here," Janice insisted. "You need to keep your baby safe."

"I'm alright, and as long as I'm alright, the baby's fine. Remember, my child's father is an Augment," she tried to drum up conversation to keep Janice calm. "Though, I sure could use John's muscle power right now," she struggled to push a small, thin piece of tritanium paneling out of the way.

"I think you're getting closer, Cath. Ouch!" she grimaced as she tried to pull a piece of furniture out of her way. "I think my arm is broken."

"We'll get you to sickbay and patched up in no time, Jan," she reassured her as the room was shaken by another explosion.

"No!" Janice screamed. "Get out of here! Go get some help!"

"I am not leaving without you," Catherine peeled herself off the floor again and resumed digging her out. Finally creating enough of an opening, she crawled through to reach her friend. Janice had a large gash on her head, and her blonde hair, which was usually kept in an ornate weaved beehive, was hanging loosely around her shoulders. "Oh sweetie, you look a mess," she nervously teased her.

"I'm so scared," Janice admitted cradling her broken arm.

"Come on," Catherine started to try to get her onto her good hand and knees to help her crawl out the hole in the wreckage that she managed to create.

"No!" Janice froze in fear.

"We have to go now! I smell fire nearby," Catherine sniffed the air. "I won't let anything happen to you. I promise!"

The ship continued to shake and tremble as Marcus continued to have his crew fire upon the helpless  _Enterprise_. Janice hesitated, but after Catherine's ongoing reassurance, she let her best friend help her crawl through the debris to reach the door of her quarters. Using a piece of broken furniture, Catherine smashed a glass panel and turned on the manual override in order to get the door open. Just as she suspected, a fire was raging about twenty feet away from Janice's door down the corridor.

"Okay, Jan, I'm lost now. I need you to tell me where to go," Catherine wrapped her arm around Janice's waist to support her as they walked down the corridor in the opposite direction of the fire.

"Turn right," Janice instructed once they reached an intersection in the corridor.

As the two women struggled to make their way through the damaged ship to get Janice medical treatment, Captain Kirk made his way to sickbay. His former chief engineer, Lieutenant Commander Montgomery Scott, whom Kirk affectionately called "Scotty," had managed to find and sneak onto the  _Vengeance_ using the coordinates John had provided. Scotty disabled the ship before Marcus was able to completely destroy the  _Enterprise_. Per Spock's suggestion, given Scotty's presence on the  _Vengeance_ , their best odds would be to take the ship from within by sending a small boarding party.

"Tell me everything you know about that ship," Kirk approached John who remained on his biobed in sickbay.

"Dreadnought Class, two times the size, three times the speed. Advanced weaponry, modified for minimal crew. Unlike most Federation vessels, I designed it solely for combat," John replied listlessly.

"I will do everything I can to make you answer for what you did, but right now I need your help," Kirk admitted.

"In exchange for what?"

"You said you'd do anything for your crew. I can guarantee their safety."

"Captain, you can't even guarantee the safety of your own crew," John sighed.  _"Just as I couldn't even guarantee the safety of my own wife,"_  he thought regretfully.

Despite John's lack of complete trust in Kirk's promises, he agreed to go through with the suggested plan once Kirk and Spock explained that Kirk and John were going to board the  _Vengeance_  and take the ship from within with Scotty's help.  _"Perfect,"_  John thought.  _"Marcus can finally face his destiny."_

As John left sickbay and accompanied Kirk to go to the trash chute that they were going to use to launch themselves towards the  _Vengeance_ , Catherine and Janice made their way ever closer to sickbay.

"Don't worry, Jan, we're almost there," Catherine quietly encouraged her friend as they slowly walked down the corridor. John paused as he and Kirk walked down the corridor slightly overhearing Catherine's voice.

"Are you coming or not, Khan?" Kirk turned around noting John had stopped following him.

"Yes, Kirk, I am coming," he replied.

"Having second thoughts?" Kirk slightly teased.

"Are you suggesting that I am afraid?" John rumbled.

"No," he quickly shook his head.

"Then let us proceed," he sighed.  _"There is no way Catherine would let me do something like this,"_  he almost smiled thinking about their dangerous method of boarding the  _Vengeance_.  _"Then again, she would only let me do it if she could come, too. My sometimes silly but always brave Imzadi."_

"John?" Catherine whispered to herself quietly thinking she could hear him.

"What's wrong, Cath?" Janice looked at her puzzled.

"Stay here. I'll be right back. I promise!" she leaned Janice up against the wall of the corridor and started to jog. "John?" she called out slightly as she started to run even faster towards where she thought she could sense him.

"Imzadi?" John asked aloud as the turbolift doors closed after he and Kirk entered.

"Did you say something?" Kirk looked at him with a look of confusion.

"Um, no, just clearing my throat," he lied.

"John?" Catherine called out again as she turned a corner and was met with an empty corridor and a turbolift at the end of it. "Damn it!" she swore aloud.  _"I could have sworn I heard him. How could I be so stupid? It really is just a fool's hope!"_  she turned around to retrieve Janice from where she had left her in the corridor.

"What was that all about?" Janice asked as Catherine returned.

"Nothing," Catherine spat angry with herself. "Come on."

John suited up for what would be his first time hurtling through open space. Already having heard their plan over and over, he ignored Kirk and Spock as they rattled on over the details once again.  _"I could have sworn that I heard and sensed Catherine nearby. I am starting to think I am losing my sanity,"_  he thought as he pulled on his jumpsuit over the black uniform that had been given to him in the brig. As soon as he and Kirk were flying through space towards the  _Vengeance_ , John smiled deviously to himself despite the throbbing in his head as the thought,  _"Soon, my love, I will avenge you."_

Upon arriving on the  _Vengeance_ , the trio of John, Kirk, and Scotty easily made their way to the bridge of the ship with minimal interference. Per Kirk's orders, Scotty stunned John with his phaser, but neither Kirk nor Scotty knew that John was immune to common Starfleet issued phasers set to stun. John, however, decided to merely lie in wait for his opportune moment while Kirk and Marcus argued.

"Admiral Marcus, you're under arrest," Kirk barked angrily.

"You're not actually doing to do this, are you?" Marcus rolled his eyes.

"Admiral," Kirk aimed his phaser at him, "get out of the chair!"

"You better stop and think about what you're doing, Kirk. You better think about what you did on Kronos. You made an incursion onto an enemy planet. You killed a Klingon patrol. Even if you got away without a trace, war is coming, and who is going to lead us? You? If I'm not in charge, our entire way of life is decimated! So if you want me off this ship, you better kill me," Marcus spat.

"I'm not going to kill you, sir, but I could stun your ass and drag you out of that chair. I'd rather not do that in front of your daughter," Kirk looked towards Carol Marcus whom the admiral had beamed aboard earlier against her will.

Tired of hearing the captain and admiral bickering like a couple of school children, John got up and attacked Kirk to ensure that he would not interfere with his revenge against Marcus. After throwing Kirk across the room, John made his way towards Admiral Marcus who had run to one of the consoles on the side of the bridge.

"Listen! Wait!" Carol jumped in John's way hoping to appease his wrath. Knowing full well that she had some although most likely ignorant and small part to play in Marcus' sordid affairs regarding Catherine and his family, John pushed her aside before kicking her angrily in the leg easily breaking it. As she screamed out in pain, John continued onwards reaching the admiral who was now quivering in fear much to John's delight.

"You foul snake! This is for my wife," John whispered to Marcus as he grabbed hold of both sides of his head. "You should have let me sleep!" he growled as he crushed Marcus' skull killing him as Carol shrieked in horror at the sight.

By this point in time, Catherine was assisting Dr. McCoy with Janice's care despite his protests that she should return to her own quarters to rest. So focused on caring for her friend and for the dangerous situation at hand given the current condition of the  _Enterprise_ , Catherine had not even noticed the seventy-two cryotubes tucked into the far corner of sickbay after Spock had them removed from the torpedoes during John and Kirk's mission to the  _Vengeance_. As she held Janice's arm so the doctor could use the osteoregenerator to repair her fracture, the viewscreens in sickbay came on as a ship-wide communication came from the  _Vengeance_.

"I'm going to make this very simple for you," John smiled menacingly holding a phaser to a badly beaten Kirk as he spoke with Spock not knowing that his message was broadcasting to the entire crew of the  _Enterprise_. "Your crew for my crew. Oh, you are smart, Mister Spock."

"John?" Catherine wheeled around and gasped hearing his voice. "Those coordinates! It was for the location of  _Vengeance_ 's hangar! What the hell is going on around here?"

"Spock, don't!" Kirk pleaded before John hit him in the back of the head knocking him unconscious.

"Mister Spock, give me my crew," John continued as Catherine glanced over and finally noticed the cryotubes.

"And what will you do when you get them?" Spock asked skeptically.

"Continue the work we were doing before we were banished," John replied matter-of-factly.

"Which as I understand it involves the mass genocide of any being you find to be less than superior," Spock raised a brow.

"That's not true!" Catherine shouted although neither Spock nor John could hear her.

"Shall I destroy you, Mister Spock, or will you give me what I want?" John continued.

"I'll be back!" Catherine ran out of sickbay to the turbolift before Dr. McCoy or Janice could ask where she was going. "Bridge!" she commanded the turbolift.

As the turbolift rose more slowly than usual towards the bridge due to the heavy damage the ship had suffered, Spock and John continued their bantering with each other. "We have no transporter capabilities," Spock attempted to reason with him.

"Fortunately, mine are perfectly functional. Drop your shields," John commanded.

"If I do so, I have no guarantee that you will not destroy the  _Enterprise_."

"Keep playing him, Spock," Catherine thought aloud. "Keep him entertained. Come on!" she jumped up and down slightly even though it could do nothing to make the turbolift go any faster.

"Well, let's play this out logically then, Mister Spock," John sat down in the captain's chair. "Firstly, I will kill your captain to demonstrate my resolve. Then, if yours holds, I will have no choice but to kill you and your entire crew."

" _Don't do it, John. Killing him would endanger your freedom. Please don't do it,"_  Catherine started to worry.

"If you destroy our ship, you will also destroy your own people," Spock again tried to reason with him.

"You crew requires oxygen to survive. Mine does not. I will target your life support systems located behind the aft nacelle, and after every single person aboard your ship suffocates, I will walk over your cold corpses to recover my people. Now, shall we begin?"

"Permission to board the bridge?" Catherine rushed off the turbolift.

"Lieutenant Troi?" Spock raised an eyebrow.

"I can help! I know him!"

"Permission granted," Spock replied reluctantly.

Catherine ran toward the view screen. "John Harrison! Stop it this very instant! If you kill them, you'll have to kill me, too!"

"Catherine, you truly are alive?" John's eyes widened in shock.

"Of course, I'm alive, you fool! Where have you been? Why did you leave me? Why did you leave us?"

"Us?"

"John, I'm carrying your child," she answered, as she and Spock looked at each other sideways raising their eyebrows simultaneously. "I'm sorry, Commander," she whispered to Spock, "but now is not the time to explain."

"I don't understand. I'm, uh," John started to stammer putting his hands on the sides of his head grimacing in pain.

"John? Commander Spock, please beam me over to the  _Vengeance_. He won't hurt me, and I know I can soothe him and reason with him. He is not himself. Something is very wrong. I can barely read his thoughts, and the ones I can read make no sense. Something is interfering with our telepathic link. I cannot even sense his emotions."

"You are part Betazoid, am I correct?"

"Yes, sir. He is my Imzadi."

"Mr. Chekov," Spock signaled the Russian officer in engineering. "Are our transporters operational?"

"No, sir, ze transporters are still non-functional."

"Mister Scott, are you able to operate the  _Vengeance_ 's transporters?"

"Sorry, I don't even know where the controls are located, sir, and Khan's hardly in any state to explain right now!" the engineer shouted from behind John who was writhing in pain.

"Vait! Ve have ze remote transporter zat Harrison, well, I mean Khan, used. It should still be operational!" Chekov remembered. "Ze only problem is zat if ve drop our shields I cannot guarantee zat ve can raise zem again."

"I have reason to believe that the odds are in our favor," Spock noted as he watched Catherine strap on her tricorder and med kit that she brought with her from sickbay. "Mr. Chekov, at my command lock on to Lieutenant Troi, lower the shields, and beam her to the bridge of the  _Vengeance_."

"Aye, sir!"

"Be careful, Nurse Troi," Spock advised as he handed her a phaser set to kill. "Mr. Chekov, engage!"

Catherine ran to John's side dropping the phaser after she materialized on the bridge of the  _Vengeance_. "John!" she gently stroked the hair out of his face.

"I'm sorry, Imzadi," he looked at her with tears streaming down his face, which was now distorted with pain.

"What is wrong, love?" she asked as she began to scan his head.

"I cannot. I cannot tell you! I cannot even sense your thoughts," he gasped as he slid off the captain's chair and sank to his knees. Catherine could hear a high-pitched squealing sound starting to emanate from his head.

"Mister Scott, I need Dr. McCoy's assistance immediately! I think something is in John's cranial cavity!" she shouted as her adrenaline began to rush causing her hands to shake jostling the medical scanner and tricorder.

"Aye, lass, I'll get him right away!" Scotty ran to the control station to hail the doctor and ask him to beam him over.

"Hold on, John," she attempted to comfort him as calmly as possible despite thinking she could see something pulsating underneath the surface of his head.

"Nurse, what is the situation?" Dr. McCoy asked after he materialized with his own medical supplies.

"Something is in his cranial cavity. Hear that noise? I'm detecting massive amounts of neurotoxins, but I cannot verify the source. His vitals are through the roof even for him and his elevated metabolism."

John collapsed completely to the floor as blood began to run from his ears, nose, and mouth. He screamed in agony before starting to convulse as the squealing became louder.

"Draw up 40 milligrams diazepam!" Dr. McCoy instructed Catherine.

"40 milligrams? That's enough to take down a horse!"

"Exactly, nurse!" Just as Catherine was about to hand Dr. McCoy the hypospray, a large, brown eel-like creature with large pincers around its mouth crawled out of John's ear and fell to the floor. He immediately stopped convulsing. "What the hell is that?" the doctor asked.

"Don't let it near you," John managed to gasp. Captain Kirk who regained consciousness shortly before Catherine's arrival grabbed the phaser that Catherine had dropped and vaporized the blood-covered parasite.

Catherine cradled John's head in her lap brushing aside the hair from his face before resuming monitoring his vital signs. "Doctor, his vital signs are dropping. He's going into shock. We need to get him back to the  _Enterprise_."

"No, we need to stabilize him first," Dr. McCoy directed as he injected a dose of epinephrine into John's neck using a hypospray. Suddenly the ship lurched. "Now what?" he griped.

"Shit!" Kirk swore. "I had Scotty activate a silent countdown to start the self-destruct sequence in case things didn't go down the way we had hoped. Scotty, can you shut it down?"

"No, cap'n! The core is already starting to shut down. I can't rewrite the laws of physics you know!"

"How much time do we have?"

"About ten minute, and, no, we can't eject the core. Hence the term 'self-destruct.'"

"I designed the ship so that if it were to fall into enemy hands, the crew could destroy it so that the enemy would not be able to pilfer its technology or use it against us," John explained weakly.

"Well I sure as hell can't save your life under these conditions. We have to get out of here now!" McCoy threw his hands in the air.

"Scotty!" Kirk shouted.

"I think I've found the transporter controls, cap'n!"

"Spock, we're beaming back over," Kirk hailed his Vulcan first officer. "Once we get back, Sulu, you're going to have to high-tail it out of here. The  _Vengeance_  is gonna blow."

"Sir, our ship is badly damaged. I cannot guarantee that we can escape in time," Spock reported.

"We'll worry about that when we get over there. Scotty, beam us directly to the medical bay."

"Hold on, John," Catherine whispered as a tear she had been trying to hold back dripped onto John's forehead.

He weakly reached up and grasped her hand squeezing it as his body struggled to return to baseline with the help of the adrenaline McCoy had given him.  _"You saved me, Imzadi,"_  she could again clearly read his thoughts as he closed his eyes to rest as they became enveloped in the blue light of the transporter beam.


	26. Bleeding Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Happy New Years to my followers and reviewers! Your patience will be rewarded as some explaining takes place in this chapter. Warning for some suggestive but not explicit dialogue. 
> 
> Listening track selections: "Confession (What's Inside My Head)" by Red, "Together or Not at All" by Murray Gold, "Earthbound and Down" by Michael Giacchino, and "Bleeding Out" by Imagine Dragons

Materializing in sickbay, Catherine and John were surrounded by other medical staff that helped her lift him onto a biobed. Confident that his body was stabilizing itself, Catherine grabbed a few wads of gauze and began to dab the drying blood off of his face with some saline solution.

"Nurse Tennant, start setting Dr. Marcus' femur," Dr. McCoy ordered before rushing to John's bedside to resume treating him. "Nurse Troi, Spock mentioned that you and Harrison supposedly share a telepathic link. I need to know more about that creature to ensure that I provide him with the most appropriate care. Do you think he is strong enough to talk or at least communicate with you?" he asked after injecting John with medication to help alleviate the pain and swelling in his head.

"I'll try," she nodded. "John? Imzadi?" she gently shook John to try to arouse him.

"Safe? Are you safe?" he rasped as he awoke.

"Yes, we're safe. What was that creature, John? What was in your head?"

"Help me sit up. I need some water. My throat has some clotted blood in it."

Catherine raised the head of the bed and helped John drink a few sips of water. "Easy, not too quickly," she cautioned him. She could sense that he was still markedly weakened and in pain, but on the outside he quickly adopted his usual strong, stoic countenance.

"It was the larva of a Ceti eel," he started to explain as she took hold of his hand. "No doubt one of Admiral Marcus' favorite pets. It is native to the planet Ceti Alpha V near the Mutara Sector. The larva enters its host through the ear canal and wraps around the cerebral cortex causing extreme pain and rendering the host highly susceptible to outside suggestion. As the larva grow, most subjects suffer from madness and eventual death. I imagine Marcus had it implanted prior to my second time in cryostasis. I think it is reasonable to believe that my augmented immune system stunted the creature's growth thus prolonging its effects much to Marcus' delight."

"Oh, John, the headaches," Catherine gasped before gently stroking his cheek.

"Right. As I told you before, I never truly had post-neural shock syndrome. The headaches were from the eel larva growing."

"If only I knew, Dr. Smith and I could have spared you so much pain," she stroked his forehead. "Our scans never showed anything in your brain. Why didn't you just tell one of us?"

"Marcus probably tampered with the scanners in the cryogenics lab as he did with much of the other equipment there in order to prevent you from discovering the creature. And again, the host is easily controlled by the suggestions of others. Behind closed doors, Marcus, per his usual manner, threatened me and those I loved if I told anyone of the eel."

"Why didn't he just use an eel on me as well?"

"He preferred to use them on those that were not susceptible to his usual techniques of intimidation."

"Oh," Catherine looked down at her feet.

"That does not mean you're weak or vulnerable, Catherine," he took back her hand. "You always held up admirably under his harassments."

"Nurse, cut open his shirt and attach these sensors," Dr. McCoy handed Catherine a pair of bandage shears and a box of electrodes before going to retrieve another piece of equipment.

Having cut open John's shirt per the doctor's instructions, Catherine gently stuck the electrodes to the alabaster skin covering his firm, muscular chest.  _"Oh, how I've missed you,"_  she struggled to restrain herself from touching him excessively or inappropriately.

" _I know. I've missed you, too,"_  he took her hand and held it to his bare chest over his heart briefly before letting it go lest Dr. McCoy see.

"I would imagine your augmented body ensured your survival," Dr. McCoy noted as he returned and continued to scan John.

"Physically it certainly did, but during the past few weeks, I had been losing my emotional and mental self-control. I especially was quickly losing control near the end. If it were not for seeing Catherine and knowing she was indeed alive, I may have lost that battle and made decisions that would undoubtedly have killed us all."

"I was so worried about you at the time, but, that body with the disfigured face on the bridge of the  _Vengeance_. Was it?" Catherine hesitated but John knew what she wanted to ask.

"Yes, it was Admiral Marcus. I'm sorry in that I took away the joy of allowing you to do it yourself, but I could not contain myself any longer. I had resolved weeks ago that it had to be done. I crushed his skull with my bare hands."

"Oh shit, John," she swore pulling away and taking a step back from him.

"Catherine, Marcus insinuated that you had betrayed me. I never have felt such despair. He thought that telling me that you had deceived me would reign me in, bring me back to him and back under his control, but he was wrong. It backfired, and that's when I started to seek my revenge."

"And because you were jilted by a woman that's why you thought killing innocent people at the archives in London and Starfleet Headquarters before sending us on a wild goose chase to Kronos was a damned good idea? Those people and this crew had nothing to do with that madman!" McCoy spat as John closed his eyes in shame and fatigue.

"John, did you really do those things?" Catherine looked at him sadly.

"Of course, he did," Dr. McCoy barked. "How could you not know about anything that's been going on around here?"

"I didn't even know we were going to Kronos to retrieve John because the speakers in Janice Rand's quarters cut out in the middle of the captain's ship-wide communication! And it's not my fault that I've practically lived with my head in the toilet for the past few weeks!" she snapped back causing John to open his eyes abruptly at the mention of her pregnancy symptoms.

"The child," he looked at her with his eyes full of concern. "Is the child mine?"

"Of course the child is yours, John," she fought the urge to roll her eyes at him. "Why would you ask such a ridiculous thing?"

"Marcus told me that you and he, well," he struggled to finish the sentence.

"Hell no! Absolutely not!" she snarled before she started to gag at the thought of what he was implying bringing her to run to the nearest trash chute to vomit what little she had in her stomach.

"Are you alright?" he furrowed his brow as she walked back to his side.

"I'm fine," she huffed with frustration. "John, I have only ever been with you," she explained taking his hand again. "I would have happily killed Marcus with my bare hands if he ever tried to touch me like that!" she growled. She then paused a moment tying to find the words to say. "You know, when it comes to the affairs of the heart, even the greatest of warriors can be consummate idiots."

John gently pulled his hand out of her grasp and placed his palm on her abdomen. "I have been an idiot, and I'm sorry, so sorry for leaving you, for doubting you, and for shaming you like this. You have only ever been faithful."

"John, it's okay. You clearly did not have complete control over your actions," she reassured him.

"How far along are you?" he smiled returning his attention to her belly rubbing it gently with his hand.

"What?" Dr. McCoy threw up his hands suddenly realizing what the couple was actually discussing. "Nurse Troi, whatever you do in your private life is your own business, but this, the two of you, is a whole different can of worms. I need you to please explain what's going on here."

"I'm sorry, Dr. McCoy," she chased after the doctor who had walked over to a cabinet to retrieve another medication for John. "John and I were secretly married while we were working for Section 31. I'm carrying his child."

"Catherine," John called out for her.

"John, it's alright now. I'm here," she rushed back to his side and noted he was trembling ever so slightly.

"When I was on Kronos, Marcus sent me a transmission. He told me that I killed you in the explosion at the archives," he held back tears. "I thought all was lost. And here you were on the  _Enterprise_ all this time. We were like ships passing in the night."

"When you didn't come back and after the archives were destroyed, I asked Marcus to transfer me to a starship. I wanted to get as far away as possible from all of the memories we made together in London. I did not ask to be specifically transferred to the  _Enterprise_ , but now it only makes sense that he put me here to get rid of our family, of me, and you as well in one fell swoop. You know, I thought I could hear you. I heard you giving them the coordinates to the  _Vengeance_. At the time though, I thought I was losing my mind," she smiled.

"I, too, was able to hear you and shared the same concerns about my sanity."

"Did they harm you? Did Captain Kirk treat you well?"

"Outside of trying to injure my dignity by having me strip nude in the brig in front of everyone, he has not done anything to harm me."

" _Kirk probably just finds you beautiful and wants you all to himself,"_  her eyes twinkled slightly.

" _What, is Kirk like Captain Jack Harkness in that he will copulate with anything sentient?"_  he asked with disgust.

" _I'm sorry, John. I shouldn't be teasing you like this while you've been through so much,"_  she frowned.

" _It's quite alright. You have been through equally as much. I would have you smile again, Catherine. Sadness and sorrow are not becoming on you,"_  he reached up to tuck a loose curl behind her ear.

Suddenly a pair of armed security officers approached John's bedside, one pointing a phaser at John while the other handcuffed John's right wrist to the biobed with the same thick pair of heavy shackles he had been restrained with earlier. "Khan, otherwise known by the alias of Commander John Harrison, by the orders of Captain James T. Kirk, you are under arrest for acts of terrorism against Starfleet resulting in the deaths of innocent Federation citizens including that of Admiral Christopher Pike," the red-shirted officer notified them as he cuffed John.

"No, this isn't right!" Catherine protested.

"Catherine, they're just following orders," John gently grabbed her wrist with his free hand to keep her from going after the security officers. "I must take responsibility for my actions if you and our family are to remain safe and free," he quietly explained his submission. "I'm tired of fighting, Imzadi. I'm tired of bloodshed. I'm just tired."

"But John," she started to argue with him.

"No," he cut her off. "It's over, Catherine. Marcus is dead, and Kirk is not Marcus. Kirk is naïve, but I do feel that he has a conscience. Per Marcus' orders, Kirk could have easily killed me, and he had every reason to do so."

"Yet he didn't."

"No, he didn't. Despite his disdain for me and my actions, I do believe we have an ally in Kirk regarding our family because he too knows what it is like to have his family torn apart."

Meanwhile on the bridge and in engineering, the crew struggled to move the  _Enterprise_  on only impulse power to get enough distance from the  _Vengeance_ , which was set to self-destruct. "Report helmsman," Spock looked to Sulu.

"Sir, I'm not sure we're going to make it," Sulu reported. "Even if we make it to the minimal distance needed to clear the blast, we may still get hit with debris with our shields down."

"How much time left do we have?"

"One minute, sir."

"Uhura, open ship-wide communication," Spock ordered. Getting the go ahead from Uhura, he notified the crew of their impending situation. "All crew brace for impact!" he warned.

"Hold on to me," John pulled Catherine close with his free arm as they awaited impact. Dr. McCoy and his other staff rushed around trying to strap first the critically ill or injured patients unable to brace themselves and then the remaining patients to their biobeds.

As the  _Vengeance_ 's warp core completely melted down, the hulking ship exploded blowing apart primarily the saucer section of the ship as the enhanced design of the tritanium hull proved to be even stronger than John had expected. The ship's carcass quickly was pulled into Earth's gravity field and began to burn as it went hurtling into the atmosphere. Per Sulu's warning, some debris from the explosion hit the  _Enterprise_  causing hull breaches throughout the already severely damaged ship. As the main power grid died, suddenly the lights went out drowning the entire ship in darkness before the auxiliary power flickered on illuminating the interior in a dreary red light.

On the bridge, an ensign reported to Spock, "Auxiliary power is failing, sir."

"Commander," Sulu turned around in his chair, "we have no power and our ship is caught in Earth's gravity field."

"Can we stop?" Spock asked.

"I can't do anything," Sulu looked apologetic.

"Gravity systems are failing. Hold on!" Spock warned as the ship started to spin out of control upon entering Earth's atmosphere.

In sickbay, Catherine stood and had her arms wrapped around John's neck and shoulders digging her nails into his skin. "Why hasn't Spock ordered the crew to evacuate?" she nuzzled slightly into his neck.

"Even if he did, do you think the crew would abandon their beloved commanders? They are no different from my family and friends, Catherine. My people would have fought to their deaths rather than leave my side," John reasoned. "But even if they will not evacuate, you need to leave."

"No, I can't," she started to whimper.

"If I were not bound to this bed, I would throw you over my shoulder and strap you into one of those escape pods. Now go!"

"I won't!" she dug her nails deeper into his flesh only causing an increase in his annoyance at her insubordination.

"Get off the ship," he snarled. "Damn it, woman! Get in an escape pod and get off the ship!"

"No, I'm not leaving without you," she managed to resolve calmly despite her fear.

The ship lurched violently pulling John out of her arms and throwing him off the biobed with his arm still shackled to the side of it. "Catherine," he growled lowly in pain from the floor beside the biobed.

Regaining her balance, she ran to the other side of the biobed to him, her chin threatening to bleed from a small cut she got from hitting it off the edge of the biobed. "You're in pain. What's wrong?"

"My shoulder is dislocated," he replied calmly as she noted his arm dangling limply from the handcuff. "What about our child? Please, don't make me beg. Go before it is too late," he pleaded as his eyes started to brim with tears.

"No, John," she sat down beside him and wrapped her arms around him as the ship started to spin further out of control. "Together or not at all."

A loose, stray cryotube started sliding towards the couple. Eyeing it just in time, John kicked his legs out and braced himself for its impact to prevent it from crushing them. Grunting with strain after the cryotube made contact with his feet, John pushed and kicked the cryotube away from them. "Sorry, McPherson," he huffed.

"How did you know that it's McPherson?"

"The serial numbers on the side of the cryotube."

"Oh," she nuzzled into his chest as he wrapped his good arm tightly around her.

_"You've wanted this for some time now. Death. That sweet release you've been looking for since I left you and gave you no hope of my returning."_

_"How did you know?"_  she asked.

_"I can sense your despair. And if it were not for our child, you probably already would have taken drastic circumstances, am I right?"_

_"I'm sorry for losing hope, for not trusting you. The thought of ending my life has sometimes briefly crossed my mind,"_ she admitted.

_"It's remains in your mind otherwise you would not be here still. It is your decision, Imzadi, but you are superior and could carry on without me."_

_"You're wrong. I can't carry on without you, and I sure as hell cannot raise a child, your child, without you. I could not possibly bear to see them looking back at me with your heterochromatic blue eyes every day without thinking of you. It would kill me inside."_

He squeezed her tighter,  _"Now that the time has come, now that you have that chance to finally be released from all your pain, you're afraid. You're afraid to die."_

_"Yes,"_  she admitted and started to cry.  _"I'm selfish for wanting this, and I'm afraid. You must be so disappointed in me for wanting this, for wanting to take the easy way out."_

_"There's no shame in admitting your fear, Imzadi, and, no, I'm not disappointed in you. Disappointed in your decision, yes, but not in you, never ever in you. I had written off humanity until I met you. In the midst of chaos, you were a safe haven for me to run to in my darkest of days. You gave me hope."_

_"Now I have no hope left to give. I never had to actually take the command portion of the Kobayashi Maru scenario. So this is what it is like, a no-win scenario?"_

_"It is not a defeat until it is over, but yes, love, it is what it is like to face death. I am confident that you will do well,"_  he kissed her forehead.

_"I'm so frightened, John. I can barely think or move."_

_"Be strong, Catherine. Focus on my voice in your mind. Are you focused on me?"_

_"Yes,"_  she nodded.

_"Pay no attention to what is going on around us. Listen only to me. Think back to when we went to El Capitan. It was pouring down rain. You were clinging to the side of the cliff with no rope."_

_"Thanks to you!"_  she teased.

_"Good, I clearly have your attention now,"_  he taunted her back.  _"You were so frightened. Just like now, you didn't think you could even move, but you reached down inside yourself and found strength you didn't know that you had."_

_"Where did that strength go? I feel so weak."_

_"You still have it in your heart, Imzadi. Marcus tried to beat it out of you, to stifle it and put it out. Yet, even he could not snuff out the flame burning within you. You have survived, Catherine, and you have carried on without me just fine because you are and always will be superior."_

_"I'm still not leaving you,"_  she felt as if he was trying to talk her out of staying.

_"I'm not trying to change your mind. I just want you to know, before the end, that you are stronger and braver than you think and that you are not dying a coward's death. If you were with me during the Eugenics Wars and if it was something you desired, I would have proudly let you accompany me or even fight at my side on the battlefield as my Khanum."_

Feeling a sudden peace fill her heart and mind with John's admission of his confidence in her, not caring about their current situation or if anyone saw, she grabbed hold of his face and kissed him passionately before cutting back to gentle, chaste kisses. John winced faintly as he moved slightly to pull her closer and tangled the fingers of his free hand in her hair.

Despite the chaos in sickbay with the ship's ensuing demise, Carol and Janice, who had been strapped to their biobeds, and Dr. McCoy, who was holding onto Carol's biobed, noted and gaped at the couple that were now tenderly kissing and embracing. "They really do love each other," McCoy thought out loud. "The beauty tamed the beast."

" _They're so beautiful together,"_  Janice thought as a tear rolled down her cheek.  _"It is not fair that it has to end for them this way."_

Although she felt that she hated John with every fiber of her being for what he did to her and her father, even Carol could not help but feel touched at the sight of them and a slight pang of sympathy if not for John then at least for Catherine.  _"My father did not deserve such a gruesome and undignified death, but I cannot help but think that he did deserve to be punished in some way for what he's done,"_  she thought to herself.  _"Lieutenant Troi certainly did not deserve the way he treated her."_

Catherine broke the kiss momentarily,  _"I'm not afraid anymore, John. I'm ready. Let's just remember the good memories together. Let us remember our time of bliss on Risa."_

_"Those were truly the best of times. I was able to treat you like the queen you truly are to me. I would give anything to have had you at my side during my time as Khan. If only we knew a mad man in a blue police box."_

_"I don't need a Doctor in a TARDIS. I just need you,"_  she smiled and looked into his eyes.  _"A mad man with blue eyes who was kept in a box. My Khan."_

_"I may have lied to you about Marcus sending me on a mission amongst some other smaller things, but know that my feelings and everything I ever told you that I shared from my heart were the truth."_

_"I know that, John, now more than ever since that horrid parasite is gone and we are able to communicate more clearly than ever before. I love you, John."_

" _I love you, too, Catherine. I'm afraid I never told you enough. Just hold on to me, Imzadi, as our end is drawing nigh. I expect it to be soon upon us, but it should be over quickly,"_  he held her tightly as he started to hum an Indian lullaby to her. Although a bit surprised that he was humming to her as he never once hummed or sang in front of her, Catherine nuzzled peacefully into the crook of his neck and closed her eyes as they awaited their deaths.

Suddenly the ship stabilized and the main power came back on illuminating sickbay. "What's going on? What happened?" she asked.

"The mains are back online," John noted. "But how?"

"Does it really matter?" she laughed nervously as she started to plant kisses all over his face.

"Catherine," he scolded her noting Dr. McCoy standing behind her. "Catherine, please, my shoulder."

"Oh, I'm sorry," she stroked his cheek gently before crawling off his lap to stand up. "Oh!" she blushed as she turned around and came face to face with Dr. McCoy.

"Doctor, I believe my shoulder is dislocated. With your assistance, I can easily relocate it myself," John struggled to get up using his free uninjured arm.

"Obviously I'll have to uncuff you. Can I trust you not to try anything?"

"You have my word," he nodded.

Finding a security officer with the device needed to deactivate the lock on the shackles, Dr. McCoy had John sit on the side of the biobed after freeing his arm. Working together with Dr. McCoy providing John instruction, the two men quickly and easily relocated his shoulder popping his arm back into its socket.

"You didn't even flinch. Didn't that cause you any pain?" the doctor stepped back as John moved his arm about testing its range of motion.

"Of course it hurt. I may be an Augment, but I'm still human. And that is where Marcus made his error. It was ultimately the emotions that he thought that I was incapable of feeling because he felt I was only an animal that led to his demise. Feelings like anger, fidelity, and most importantly," he softened his tone as he took Catherine's hand, "love."

"Dr. McCoy," Chekov's panicked voice came over the sickbay's comm system, "ve need you in engineering right avay!"

"For now I'm not going to cuff you back to the bed, but I want you to lay down and stay there. Do you understand?" Dr. McCoy crossed his arms.

"Yes, doctor," John complied and reclined on his biobed. After Dr. McCoy rushed out of sickbay, John held Catherine's hand to his cheek, "Where would I go? Everything I need is right here in this medical ward."

Catherine used her free hand to rub the back of her head and neck wincing as she felt a slight headache coming upon her. "Stupid concussion," she moaned.

"When did you get a concussion?" John kissed her hand before freeing it.

"Dr. Smith and I are not entirely sure. It was before you left and could have been from any number of things, but it keeps getting aggravated from me getting thrown about."

"Actually, I think I know when you got it," he sighed. "I knocked you unconscious before I left."

"What?" she gasped.

"Clearly you are amnesic to the event, but yes, I did hit you. I'm sorry. If you are angry with me and cannot forgive me for physically harming you once again, I understand. Though please know now that the larva is gone, I am going to be better able to maintain my self-control."

"I should be angry with you. In fact, I should be furious."

"I don't blame you."

"But I'm not. As I said, now that horrid creature is out of your head, I can sense you and communicate with you more clearly than ever. I know you will never intentionally harm me again."

"Let me see your neck," he reached out his hand beckoning her to turn around. "Let me know if I am hurting you." John started to feel tissue in her neck and shoulders. "You are very tense. Did Dr. Smith examine your neck?"

"No, it was not bothering me at the time."

"It is possible, given my strength, that I may have also injured your neck which would certainly contribute to your concussion symptoms. Once Dr. McCoy returns, I will have him examine you."

"Okay," she nodded in agreement. "Well, I guess I should go and check the cryotubes to make sure none of them are damaged or that no one is hurt," Catherine kissed him on the cheek.

" _Ever the selfless one. As much as you desire to stay at my side, you wish to ensure our family is safe and unharmed,"_  he smiled gently.

" _I will try to be efficient. I promise,"_ she winked awkwardly at him before going to find Kati and Luca first.

Finding Kati and Luca and from her scans feeling assured that they were unharmed and that their cryotubes remained functional, Catherine looked to John and smiled giving him two thumbs up to show that they were safe. She then quickly went to each of the other cryotubes to complete examining them. Although quite old, the cryotubes were very sturdy, and thankfully only a couple of them at the worst had some loose connections that were quickly and easily fixed while others were merely dented from being tossed about the falling ship.

Just as she finished scanning the last cryotube and its occupant and wondering why Dr. McCoy was taking so long in engineering, the main doors to sickbay swooshed open revealing a morose group of officers, a couple of them in radiation suits, carrying a body in a white body bag. The crew gently laid the bag on the biobed beside John's. Dr. McCoy sadly unzipped the bag revealing Captain Kirk's body. His vital sign readings were barely registering and the electrical activity of his brain was weak.

"What happened?" Catherine gasped upon returning to John's side.

"He repaired the warp core and in the process was exposed to lethal amounts of radiation," Spock choked out overhearing her question. Catherine could sense he was overwhelmed with grief, which surprised her given that he was half-Vulcan. "He saved us. He saved us all."

"Dr. McCoy," John sat up gingerly.

"Not now, Harrison," Dr. McCoy snapped.

"Dr. McCoy!" John growled grabbing his arm and turning him to look at him. "Put him in one of the cryotubes. Then start giving him infusions of my blood."

Dr. McCoy raised a brow, "What?"

"No, John! You're too weak, and you're still under the influence of the neurotoxins from the larva. It could kill both of you!" Catherine fretted.

"While you're at it," John continued, "give my wife a vial or two also. That should be adequate enough to give her some relief from her nausea and vomiting, her residual concussion symptoms, and her potential neck injury."

"John!"

"Hurry, Dr. McCoy! His brain cells will start to die if you do not take action now," he insisted. "I will explain once he is in stasis."

Despite Catherine's protests and with John's insistence, Dr. McCoy and his staff quickly transferred one of John's family members out of a cryotube to a biobed following John's instructions as to how to maintain the cryostasis while out of the tube and prepared Kirk's body and started the cryogenic process while Nurse Tennant started to collect John's blood. Once they started giving Kirk the infusions and he appeared to start to revive and stabilize, John explained his reasoning.

"I once discovered this by accident, the benefits of my blood, that is. The actual details of the discovery are not of importance. Just as it does for me, though, my blood can quickly heal the damaged cells of the person who receives it. I do not know how or why it works. I do not know to what extent it can help, but it is worth trying. My blood has healed Catherine of her injuries. My blood saved the life of Thomas Harewood's daughter who was on the brink of death from an unknown illness." Still unrestrained, John carefully slid off his biobed as he made Catherine lie down in his place. "Do not forget my wife's injections," he reminded Dr. McCoy as he gently stroked her forehead.

" _It really was you that saved little Lucy Harewood,"_  she looked at him.

" _Of course it was. We'll discuss this more later."_

"Are you okay with going through with this?" Dr. McCoy asked her as he prepared the hypospray.

"I've had injections of his blood a couple of times before. Yes, I trust him," she reached, took hold of John's hand, and smiled weakly at him. "I trust him with my very life. Please, though, give me a low dose of a sedative in addition to the blood. Last time things got a bit interesting," she looked at John and blushed causing him to grin.

" _Yes, we do not want you doing that to me in sickbay in front of everyone, dear,"_  he teased.  _"Although, all of that raw, sexual energy and the excitement of it all might draw Kirk back around much more quickly to the land of the living,"_  he suggested causing her to snort and giggle.

" _Oh, behave yourself,"_  she scolded him.

Dr. McCoy injected both vials of John's blood as well as the sedative she requested and waited a few minutes before asking, "Well, how do you feel?"

"A little sleepy but much better. Besides the concussion, our little one has been giving me a very hard time thus far," she patted her small baby bump.

"Have you even had a proper medical exam since your husband here tried to blow you up?"

"Actually, no. I know, it's horrible with me being a nurse, but I've had no prenatal care."

"It was not my intention to harm my wife," John snarled. "I told you that I had little control over my actions."

"Well, we'll see about that," Dr. McCoy scoffed as he walked off to grab his medical scanner.

" _He's cranky, John, but he's got a good reputation as a doctor and I sense that he's a good man. Once he studies the eels, he will know you are telling the truth,"_  Catherine played with the hem on the sleeve of John's cut shirt.

" _I hope for your sake and not my own that your intuition is right,"_  John sighed.

Dr. McCoy came back with his equipment. "Let's see how mama is doing first," he started to scan her. "Vital signs are good. You are a little dehydrated, but that is nothing that some IV fluids can quickly and easily correct if you are having a hard time taking liquids by mouth. Any injuries from the explosion also seem to be healing just fine. There does appear to be some ligamentous laxity and soft tissue damage in your neck. I suppose we can expect that it will resolve between the blood infusion and some possible therapy. The neurotransmitters in your brain are quickly stabilizing."

"How is the child?" John asked eagerly squeezing Catherine's hand.

"Good strong heartbeat. No injuries noted. No developmental abnormalities. Appears to be doing just fine," Dr. McCoy smiled.

"I think our child has his or her father to thank for their resilience," she noted.

McCoy looked up at John, "Do you know anything about Augment reproduction? Any data about situations like this?"

"To our knowledge, there was not a lot of interbreeding that took place. My sister Kati married a human and did just fine. As for non-Augments carrying the children of Augments, the few pregnancies that we knew of at the time, albeit usually difficult on the mother, were carried successfully to term. It is my impression that most pregnancies were hidden out of fear of backlash and persecution."

"Well, Nurse Troi here isn't full-human, so I think we need to be extra careful. Have you seen your little one yet?" he smiled.

"No, neither of us have seen the baby up till now," Catherine answered McCoy as he spun his display screen around to show the couple their growing child within her womb.

"See the heart?" he pointed to a tiny heart beating away. "It's a bit early in the pregnancy, but if you want to know the sex we can try to visualize it."

Catherine looked at John,  _"I want it to be a surprise."_

" _Anything you want, Imzadi,"_ he smiled.

"We want to be surprised."

"You know, it's kind of creepy when you two do that," Dr. McCoy shook his head. "Well, anyways, congratulations."

"Thank you," Catherine smiled.

John's knees suddenly gave out causing him to nearly collapse as he stood by the biobed. "I'm fine," he insisted as he stabilized himself.

"No, back to bed with you," Catherine swung her legs off the bed as Dr. McCoy stood by to assist John if needed. Coming to the realization that he was exhausted, John gave in and complied. "When was the last time you slept?" she asked.

"I honestly cannot remember," he sighed.

"Then you need to rest," Dr. McCoy advised.

"I will rest, but I must know something first. When or rather how was our child conceived?"

"Your geneticists didn't teach you about the birds and the bees?" the doctor asked.

"I thoroughly understand the mechanics and biology of human copulation and conception, Dr. McCoy, but Catherine faithfully took her birth control. Chemically, there was no reason for it to fail."

"New Years Day," she shyly rejoined the conversation lest things get ugly between the two men. Both men looked at her with confusion written on their faces. "On New Years Day, you injected me with your blood and, as I'm sure you recall, very shortly afterwards we made love, John. The only thing I can come up with is that your blood not only counteracted the birth control but also sped up all my reproductive processes and cycle thus rendering me fertile. By that time your little soldiers would have had no trouble finding base camp and planting a flag. Also, I'm sure your pheromones had been causing a stir in things as I had episodes of blood spotting a couple of months prior to that which had never happened before. What can I say? You're a very potent man, John," she giggled nervously and blushed.

After a few moments of awkward silence, Dr. McCoy responded, "Well then, you have your answer," and walked away.

"I think I made him uncomfortable," she looked to John who grinned. "You rest now. You're exhausted, your brain needs to recover, and they will possibly need more of your blood for the captain. We certainly have much more to discuss, but it can wait until later," she pulled a blanket up to keep him warm. "I will help care for the others that are injured."

"Very well," he replied.

"I love you, John," she leaned in to give him a quick kiss.

"I love you, too. I'm so happy to have you back. Both of you," he lovingly glanced down at her abdomen and back to her face briefly before closing his eyes to sleep.


	27. The Healing of Harms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello everyone! Sorry for the delay. There unfortunately will likely be another delay for the next chapter as well as I will be out of town in NYC for the weekend for a viewing of National Theater Live's Frankenstein. Hope you all enjoy! I promise there is more to come!
> 
> Listening track selections: "Recovery Begins" by Fireflight, "At Arms Length" by Plumb, "Just Give Me a Reason" by P!nk, "Start Again" by Red

John rolled over and groaned noting that his head ached a bit. Feeling also somewhat foggy, he opened his eyes upon realizing he was no longer on a biobed in sickbay but rather in a larger, much more comfortable bed. His cut shirt had been removed, and he had only the black pants on which he was given while in the brig. Pushing back the hair that had fallen into his eyes, he sat up and went to get out of the bed but stopped upon feeling dizzy.

"You're awake," Catherine's soft voice met his ears.

"Where are we?" he asked looking over finding her in a chair at his bedside reading her PADD.

"We're in my quarters on the  _Enterprise_. Thankfully there was little damage to it from Marcus' attack. Dr. McCoy felt that you were stable enough to be moved from sickbay, but he's concerned that you're still not well enough just yet to be cooped up in the brig. Commander Spock, who is acting as captain, was in agreement with putting you here with me for the time being. There are security guards posted outside the door in case you're wondering. How do you feel?"

"Like I have the worst hangover of my life. I've only experienced several in my lifetime, but given my Augment physiology they were always minor and short-lived. How long have I been asleep?"

"About thirty-six hours. Surprised?"

"Yes, a little."

"I'm going to give you something for the pain and vertigo," she explained before returning with a hypospray. "Better?" she asked after injecting the medication into his neck.

"Yes, thank you," he sighed with relief.

"Although you can withstand much more than the average human, your body has taken quite a beating even for you. While you were resting and knowing that you can be quite stubborn, I suggested to Dr. McCoy that we give you a sedative to ensure you got adequate rest to which he readily agreed."

"As my nurse in the past, you especially know I can be a noncompliant patient," he smirked.

"Yes," she briefly smiled. "Once you were completely asleep, Dr. McCoy and I did a more thorough scan of your brain to determine if the eel larva did any damage to your brain. We were able to neutralize the neurotoxins left behind by the eel larva but did discover several lesions on the surface of your cerebral cortex. They appear as if they are trying to heal which, of course, is something brain tissue in the average human is not capable of doing. We don't know yet if they are going to heal completely, if you're going to have any deficits, or if you do have deficits if they'll be permanent. Only time will tell."

"I see."

"There's no way of knowing how many days you went without eating adequately or sleeping," she continued. "You were also dehydrated, and it didn't help that they took a sizable amount of your blood for Captain Kirk's infusions. We gave you some IV fluids as well to help with that."

"What is Kirk's current condition?"

"He's in a medically induced coma, but the infusions of your blood are helping. Dr. McCoy does not know if he'll have any brain damage or long-term illness or disabilities from the radiation exposure, but given how well the Harewood girl recovered despite being near death, he has high hopes."

"More importantly, how are you?" he asked before pausing. "How is our child?"

"I'm feeling much better. Haven't had any headaches or neck pain, and I haven't thrown up since that last time in sickbay. Our little one is behaving, too," she smiled and rubbed her belly. "That's the first time you've referred to the baby as ours."

"I suppose I'm still processing the idea that I'm going to be a father," he admitted. "Why aren't you in uniform, and why are we still on the  _Enterprise_?" he asked noting she was in civilian clothing. "The ship was so badly damaged that I would have thought we would have been evacuated with us being so close to port so they could start repairs since she's the flagship of the fleet."

"I'm currently not on duty. We haven't disembarked yet because Starfleet currently has its hands full with the cleanup effort," she frowned.

"Of what do you speak?"

"The remains of the  _Vengeance_. They landed in San Francisco near Starfleet Headquarters. It's going to be a while until they have an official death toll calculated. For now, we've been ordered to remain in spacedock for repairs. They did evacuate non-essential personnel and those most critically wounded, but Dr. McCoy wants to keep an eye on us and Kirk," she explained. "Would you like something to drink?"

"Some Darjeeling, please."

"Of course," she nodded and went to the replicator to retrieve a cup of Darjeeling tea for him. "Careful, it's hot," she cautiously handed him the beverage.

He sighed contentedly after taking a sip and noted, "That feels and tastes so good. While I was on Kronos, I was starting to think I'd never taste this again." He looked over to Catherine who was again seated beside the bed twirling a curl of her hair in her fingers while staring off into the distance. "You feel distant, Catherine, almost like you're avoiding me. What is troubling you?"

"Initially, I was so happy to have you back, but I'm just now starting to be able to process everything that has happened to and between us."

"Now that I'm back and you've had time to think about what I've done, you don't fully trust me anymore."

"I didn't say that," she retorted sharply.

"Ah, but even though you can easily shut me out from reading your thoughts, your demeanor betrays you. In sickbay, you spoke so lovingly, passionately and quite possibly would have taken me right then and there if it was possible, and now all of a sudden all you can give me are factual statements. I would have expected you to show more feelings than this now that you have me alone in the privacy of your quarters." He scooted over swinging his legs out of the bed to sit up beside her and put his cup of tea on the nightstand. "Imzadi," he gently took her hand and immediately sensed her become tense and wanting to pull away, "please come back to me."

"How can I, John?" she started to cry feeling guilty for doubting him. "I know it's not completely your fault, but you made no attempts to contact me either. Just as you instructed me, I contacted you when the proverbial shit hit the fan. I begged, pleaded with you to come home after the cryotubes were taken from the lab and Lucille Harewood took a turn for the worse. I was desperate for your help. I was so worried about our family and what Marcus might have been doing to them. How could you just sit by listening to me cry out for your help and not at least communicate some comfort or reassure me that you'd come back? And when you never made any effort to respond or return, I feared the worst. I started to wonder if Marcus had you killed."

"I'm sorry. Please don't cry," he wiped the tears off her cheeks. "Look at me, Catherine," he cupped her cheeks and had her look him in the eyes. He looked pained to see her so upset. "I know all the apologies and explanations in the galaxy could never possibly heal the hurt that I've caused you, but I will be honest and divulge everything to you because I love you. You deserve to know the truth as to why I did what I did. I didn't respond because the day before I left you, Admiral Marcus had already planted seeds of doubt about your loyalty in my mind. He informed me that he knew about the cryotubes being placed in the torpedoes and insinuated that you had been giving him information about my activities. Catherine," he took her hand and gently stroked it, "it tore me apart inside hearing you begging for me like that, but I was so far gone at that point in my hatred for Marcus and had resolved that I needed to kill him that there was no turning back. Between Marcus' lies and the eel, I was fighting off insanity every day."

"You sincerely speak the truth," she noted sensing his honesty and remorse. "I suppose I did not help matters and owe you an apology as well."

"In what way?"

"I turned over the communicator you gave me to Marcus, and I have no excuse for that. He also planted seeds of doubt in my mind, but unlike you, I did not have a parasite living in my brain. At the time, though, I hoped that maybe he could get you to come home. Did he use it to contact you?"

"Yes, he did. He used it to feed me more lies, including the lies that you slept with him and died in London, and these fueled the flames of my desire to avenge you and our family."

"I'm so sorry. I cannot even imagine the pain you felt thinking that I was unfaithful to you and died because of something you did."

"Clearly, we both have contributed to the divide that exists between us, although I feel as though I share the greater part of the responsibility."

"John, you said in sickbay that you did help Miss Harewood. I suppose that means you were in London at one point while I thought you were gone. I stopped at your quarters and the soil in the potted Betazoid plant I had given to you was moist. Why did you help her? Did you only mean to use her as a bargaining chip to get her father to blow up the archives?"

"Yes, I was in London briefly. I'm sorry that I did not come and see you. Even though I questioned your loyalty, I helped her because it was important to you, because I knew it had been breaking your heart to see a child suffering needlessly like that. Given my state of mind, though, I also helped her because I knew her father was desperate and would do anything to save her. Now I will have to live with what I've done to the Harewood family for the rest of my life. They did not deserve this," he clenched his fists as he tried not to lose his temper out of anger with himself.

Catherine reached over and placed her hand over one of his fists until he relaxed, unclenched it and took hold of her hand. "There is no way of knowing how she will react towards you once she knows the truth, but Mrs. Harewood will appreciate the closure. If possible, I will be with you when you share with her what you've done. She is acquainted with me as I sat with Lucy one night so they could have some time together outside of the hospital, and my presence may help to defuse the situation."

"So, I'd imagine you've been doing a lot of thinking?"

"I've had a little time on my hands," she nodded.

"I suppose the possibilities about our future are becoming clear to you."

"Yes, there are multiple possibilities."

"But none of them positive," he closed his eyes and sighed.

"Don't think like that, John. That's not true."

"Catherine, for the first time in my life I know without a doubt that I have innocent blood on my hands. Even if it was because I could not help myself, who would want to let me go unpunished? History has already given me a reputation as a bloodthirsty tyrant. Everyone already knows that my family and I were considered war criminals and condemned to die."

"But you weren't. You aren't. I am confident that we can provide you an adequate defense."

"What if they want to put me back in cryostasis? What if I'm sent to a penal colony? We might rarely see each other, or even worse, never see each other again. Don't you realize that? I know that the death penalty no longer exists, but I would rather die than be apart from you and our child."

"I'm starting to wonder if you were hoping for death just as much as I was while the ship was falling. Do not give in to defeat just yet, Imzadi. We've come so much farther than I ever hoped would be possible. I never thought we'd ever get out of that hole in the ground in London or be free of Marcus."

"I've told you before that I originally planned on using you against Marcus and for my own personal gains, but after I developed feelings for you, it was not my intention to drag you into this mess. I'm sorry. I fear I have ruined your life."

"For this particular thing, there is no need to apologize, and there never has been. I have told you before that I willingly chose to be part of this, and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. You have not ruined my life at all because you are the best thing to ever happen to me, John. I mean it with all my heart," she kneeled down in front of him as he remained sitting on the side of the bed and took his hands into her own.

"What are we going to do? You cannot single-handedly clear my name."

"John, this time we're truly not alone in our fight for justice. I have already contacted Luke and Marla, and they are willing testify on your behalf. Besides the physical cleanup of the  _Vengeance_ , word is that Starfleet is going to have a nasty cleanup in regards to Section 31. I read a report that Dr. Zineeri and Dr. Uzumaki have both already been arrested. As Starfleet learns of what truly happened in Section 31, they will see that we were treated unethically and that you had no choice but to strike out. Dr. McCoy has softened to me as I've told him some of our story, and he is going to study Ceti eel larvae to determine if what you say about them is true as there has not yet been any official Starfleet cataloguing or study of the flora and fauna of Ceti Alpha V."

"I suppose it is a start."

"Someone else has volunteered to help make your case. You'll probably be surprised to hear who it is."

"Oh?"

"Commander Spock has stepped forward and wishes to speak in your defense. I was unaware of this recent development as we were preoccupied in our own personal affairs, but the Federation Council has recently voted in favor of allowing Vulcan mind melds to be presented as evidence in both civilian and court-martial trials. Spock was quite distraught about Captain Kirk's condition, so I was taken aback when he approached me this morning about the possibility of helping you. I know Starfleet regulations dictate that I'm not supposed to use my abilities on fellow crew members, but sometimes I can't help it. He's half-human and can be difficult for me to read, but I would have thought he would blame you for what happened to the captain."

"I am quite surprised at his offer of assistance." John paused, and Catherine remained silent as she could sense he was trying to reason through something. "He is half-Vulcan, though, and I may have sparked his curiosity. Reason, objectivity, and logic are things that he no doubt esteems, and so he probably wants to understand the purpose behind my actions."

"I'm sure that is part of it. He would probably not openly admit it, but I have a feeling that he struggles just as much as you do with emotions."

"Speaking of feelings, I think you deserve to know. Now that the eel is gone, you may find that my personality is not like that to which you are accustomed."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not sure how to explain it. I'm usually not as emotional, not as labile as you have come to know me."

"You mean you're not as weepy," she smiled.

"I suppose you could put it that way," he smiled back. "I just do not want you to feel as if I am a stranger or that I'm not the man you grew to love. I am often stern, but I still feel that with you I can relax."

"Thank you for trusting me enough to feel that you can unwind and share your feelings."

"Maybe, well," he hesitated, "no, that would be foolish."

"No, tell me," she insisted.

"Perhaps we should start again?"

"Pardon?"

Taking her hand and kissing it, he grinned, "My name is Commander John Harrison. Some know me as Khan Noonien Singh. And whom do I have the pleasure of meeting?"

She arched her brow, "Lieutenant Catherine Troi. Troi is my maiden name, but I was recently married."

"And what brings you here, Catherine?"

"I'm head nurse of this ship, recently transferred. What do you do?"

"Oh, I used to rule one-fourth of the Earth's population, but then I made a career change. I became an engineer of sorts and started to design starships and weaponry."

"That's so fascinating," she started to struggle against the urge to laugh.

Seeing Catherine cheeks blushing pink and her struggle to continue his little game, John himself burst out laughing with the heartiest laugh she ever witnessed come from him. "Imzadi, the look on your face," he laughed harder almost to the point of tears.

With his wanton jollity, she quickly joined in his laughter. "I've never seen you laugh like this," she noted as they started to calm down. Feeling more comfortable with him again, getting up off the floor she sat on his lap, wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed him. "You have no idea how good it feels to see you laughing like this, John."

"It does feel good, but what feels even better is that you are starting to trust me again. I know it will take some time to heal the damage that has been done, to repair the rift that has come between us. Take as long as you need, Catherine, and please tell me if there is anything I need to do to facilitate this process."

"Just be yourself. I do not think it will take me long," she kissed his neck tenderly. "By the way, how is your shoulder?"

"A little stiff, but it should be back to normal by tomorrow. I have no pain there," he slightly shrugged his shoulder to show he was not experiencing discomfort.

"Are you hungry at all? I can get you something from the replicator if you think you're ready to try eating," she offered.

"I'm not all that hungry, but I should probably still eat something if I am to regain my strength. I trust you know me well enough to choose something for me," he kissed her on the forehead.

"Okay," she hugged him before getting up and going to the replicator. She soon returned with an Indian rice dish. Pulling a tray table over from the end of the bed, she placed the dish and his cup of Darjeeling off the nightstand in front of him and sat down beside him. "I know you're not a fan of replicator food, but I at least picked something that you would find somewhat enjoyable," she gently rubbed his bare lower back.

"Thank you," he smiled and started eating his meal.

Catherine sat quietly and watched John while he ate feeling peaceful just sitting in his presence once again. She still had much more she wanted to ask him but decided to wait until he was finished so that he could eat in peace and quiet after everything he had been though.

As he neared the end of his meal and noting her racing thoughts as she let her guard down, he turned toward her slightly and said, "It's alright. Go on," as he worked on scooping up the last of his rice.

"What, John?"

"You were wondering about my time on Kronos. You want to know what it was like. I can hear your thoughts, remember?" he smirked.

"I didn't want to bother you while you're eating," she insisted.

"I'm just about finished. Go ahead."

"What are Klingons really like? I've only seen pictures and have never seen one in person. Spock told me that you had no problem taking them out despite their infamous physical strength."

"Klingons are a proud, tradition oriented people. As a warrior race, they highly value honor and combat. They are definitely aggressive. Physically they are very strong, but they are not necessarily agile beings. And yes, they are as ugly if not more ugly in person as they are in the pictures you've seen," he snorted. "With the explosion of their moon Praxis causing the gradual death of Kronos, they unfortunately do not always maintain their ideals of honor anymore. If I had not intervened, one of them would have killed Lieutenant Uhura in cold blood despite her insistence that they were there to help them."

"No species seem to be safe from the ill effects of avarice and needless violence," she sighed.

"My thoughts exactly," he nodded. "It is a shame. The architecture of the Ketha Province that I saw was beautiful although derelict and thus rundown. The area was primarily known for its farmlands, so with the demise of the planet's atmosphere, it did not take long for it to become abandoned. Other than the rare Klingon patrols, the only other creatures I saw while there were wild targ. I almost ended up having to eat one after running out of provisions," he cringed in disgust.

"Is that why you're not complaining about the replicator food?" she giggled.

"I suppose I am grateful that I do not have to eat wild targ," he laughed back.

"So the planet is that bad off?"

"Yes," he frowned. "I felt as if I had stepped into Hell itself. I sincerely hope this incident does not lead to war. I do not care much for the Klingons, but I cannot help but think that even Klingon children do not deserve to suffer the horrors of war."

"Imzadi, hearing you say something like that is proof enough that you are not a tyrant."

"I am not one now, but I do not know about before all of this. Regardless, I am a changed man. Even if I am superior due to being an Augment, I am but one small man in the galaxy. Even if my family and I were not discovered by Marcus and reawakened on our own, would we really have been able to find a place to call our own and live in peace? Would we not have been met with more war and bloodshed out of our own arrogance?"

"John, there are many unexplored planets that we have not even discovered yet. I am confident that there is somewhere that you, that we, can call home if everything works out for us. If anything, I hope that there will finally be peace and acceptance between humans and Augments."

"I suppose it is possible," he wrapped his arms around her to hug her. "After all, we have set aside our differences and get along just fine," he kissed her temple before releasing her.

"That we do. Then again, I am a superior woman," she teased.

"Yes, that you are," he laughed.

"So, what do you think? Does the thought of being a father make you nervous?" she shyly asked.

"A little, yes, of course," he nodded. "I never had a real father, so I am at a complete loss how to be one. However, I did see how my brother-in-law cared for Luca, and it was often said by others that he was a good father. I hope that his example is a start. Ultimately, though, as long as I am not incarcerated in some way and am able to be in the life of our child, I am going to be responsible for that little life and shaping and molding it into a caring, responsible, and productive member of society."

"The great Khan is terrified," she smiled.

"Yes," he laughed. "I expect fatherhood to be my greatest challenge yet."

"While the ship was falling, you were humming a song. What was it?"

"It was an Indian lullaby. I do not remember the actual words, but my mother used to sing it to me as a child. I always found it very soothing."

"It was beautiful. You should use your musical abilities more often," she smiled.

"I will keep that in mind," he smiled back.

"I want you to name the baby."

"Really?" he arched his brow.

"Yes, it is only fitting for a Khan to name his children. As long as you do not come up with something truly bizarre," she giggled, "I will consent to whatever you decide."

"Very well, but I will not tell you my decision until our child is born," he resolved. "I suppose that means I will have to come up with two possible names, one male and one female. Do not worry, though, they will have a proper and meaningful name."

"John, I have no doubt that you will be a wonderful father, and raising our children will be a challenge we will tackle together to the best of our abilities no matter what our future holds," she leaned on his shoulder. "I promise that we will be at your side if at all possible."

"My Khanum, how could I ever have possibly doubted your faithfulness?"

"Just so you know, Marcus never tried to touch me in that way. And if he did, I certainly wouldn't have let him get away with it without a fight and leaving him with some sort of permanent damage. I did find out, however, that he was the one that hit me during the interrogation. He hit me again before I transferred here and asked me if it felt familiar," she shuddered and held back tears.

"Shh," he snaked his arm around her to hug her and gently rubbed her arm. "Do not try to think about it anymore, love. We are finally free of that bastard, and I want you to put it out of your mind for the time being, although you will undoubtedly have to testify about it all in court. For now, just try to focus on taking care of yourself, the coming of our child, and anticipate starting our family."

"Oh!" she brightened and grabbed his thigh excitedly. "Speaking of family, Luke and I briefed Dr. McCoy and shared all our data that we thankfully saved on our PADDs in regards to the cryotubes and making sure our family is safe and healthy. Starfleet has agreed to Dr. McCoy taking over their care. It has yet to be determined, of course, if they are to remain in cryostasis or if we will ever be permitted to reanimate them, but at least we know they are in good hands."

"I will continue to fight for their freedom, but at least it is nice to have a little good news and know they are safe for once," he agreed.

"I too will argue for their reanimation."

"Thank you," he smiled.

"Are you feeling alright? Is there anything else I can get you?"

"I'm fine, and no, you needn't get me anything else. In fact, I think I'm going to get a quick shower."

"Just be careful," she advised. "If you start to feel like you're going to go down, call for me."

"I doubt I will need your assistance, but if necessary, I will call for you," he smiled.

"Are you sure you don't want an audience this time? I can see if Dr. McCoy can reverse Kirk's sedation so he can come and watch," she teased.

"No, that won't be necessary," he rolled his eyes. "I plan on being quick. You're so mischievous sometimes," he smirked.

Catherine got up and stood by in case he needed help standing up off the edge of the bed. John slowly stood to ensure he did not lose his balance, and upon noting that he had no new vertigo, he made his way to the bathroom. Hearing the water running, Catherine walked to the window to admire the view of Earth against the black canvas of space speckled with glistening stars. Feeling a little chilled, she wrapped her arms around herself. True to his word, John quickly finished his shower. Quietly walking up behind her, he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her neck before leaning his chin on her shoulder to join her looking out the window.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" she asked.

"Yes, it is," he sighed contentedly. "Although I had Kati and our other Augment comrades, I often felt lonely. Perhaps it was because after my mother died our new caretakers singled me out to be groomed and trained to become a leader. Sometimes I felt like the other Augment children felt contempt for me because of that. As a child, I can remember always looking up at the night sky and wondering what might be out there. I wondered if there was anyone out there like me, someone who could be my best friend. Little did I know that I would find that person almost three hundred years in the future and that she would be only half-human," he smiled and gently rubbed her baby bump causing her to smile back.

"You truly are a kindred spirit, John. You know, I've never bothered to ask, but when is your birthday? How old are you?"

"Unfortunately, I do not know the exact date of my birth, but I was born in 1970. I was about 26-years-old when I went into exile with my family on the  _Botany Bay_."

"That makes you about 288-years-old! I've always like older men," she quipped.

"Adjusting for my time in cryostasis, I'm guessing I'm about 30-years-old now, although you and Dr. Smith noted that the telomeres in my DNA are a lot shorter given my chronological age. Given my body's ability to ward off illness and repair itself, however, I do not foresee shortened telomeres being a problem. I've never bothered to ask you, either, but how old are you?"

"I'm 28 currently, and my birthday is May 19, 2230. Since we do not know what exact date you were born, we can share my birthday together as yours, too," she suggested.

"I've never celebrated my birthday, but I will be honored to share a day of celebration with you."

Catherine wriggled loose from his grip and turned to face him only to discover he only had on a towel around his waist. "You might want to put some clothes on, John," she snorted. "Dr. McCoy will be here in about ten minutes to check up on us. Remember when I was caring for you in the infirmary of the cryogenics lab and you came out in nothing but a towel?"

"Yes, you wouldn't have admitted it at the time, but you found it to be quite arousing," he grinned impishly. "Do you have any other clothes I can wear?"

"Actually, I do," she went to her closet and pulled out his sherwani and the accompanying pants that she pilfered from his quarters in London. "Will this be comfortable enough? They gave me some other basic clothing items for you, but I'm sure you do not particularly want to wear the shirts as they have the Starfleet insignia on them."

"My sherwani will be perfect," he discarded the towel from around his waist, took the clothing from her, and started dressing. "You never cease to amaze me in your ability to read my feelings."

"Oh?" she arched her brow as she admiringly watched him dress.

"You were right in that I do not feel comfortable wearing anything linked to Starfleet right now. It makes me feel dirty," he explained.

Just as John finished dressing, the door chime to Catherine's quarters rang. She went to the door to open it and was greeted by Dr. McCoy. "Good evening, nurse," he addressed her.

"Come in, doctor," she stepped back to allow him entry noting there were still security guards posted at her door.

A third security guard was about to follow Dr. McCoy into her quarters, but he quickly turned around and shooed him away. "I'll be just fine without you, thank you very much. Patient doctor confidentiality," he grumbled at the officer until the door shut behind him. "How are you feeling, Nurse Harrison?" he managed to crack a smile.

"I'm doing well. It's the best I've felt in a while thanks to John," she walked over to John who was now sitting in a chair at her table. She put her hand on his shoulder and gently patted it.

"Harrison, Khan, whatever your name is, how are you feeling?" the doctor walked over and started to pull out his medical equipment.

"You may call me John, doctor. I'm much improved. I feel my physical strength quickly returning. I fear the emotional scars may take longer, however," he frowned. "How is my family? How are Kati and Luca?"

"They're all well, sleeping as if nothing has happened," Dr. McCoy reported as he started scanning John, "and you'll be happy to hear that two other undamaged cryotubes were recovered from the ruins of the Kelvin Memorial Archives. Dr. Luke Smith, although currently recovering from his own injuries, is advising another physician in ensuring that the occupants are well cared for until they are returned to join the rest of the cryotubes."

"Thank you for watching over my loved ones and for your offer to study the Ceti eels," John held out his hand to shake the doctor's.

"Oh, uh, you're welcome," Dr. McCoy shook John's hand. "I still don't know what to think about you or your actions, but I suppose I owe you thanks as well. If it weren't for your blood and quick thinking, we would've lost Jim for sure."

"Jim?" Catherine and John asked simultaneously.

"The captain," the doctor explained. "Well, if you both are feeling fine, I'll be on my way. If anything changes, just contact sickbay," he insisted before walking out the door.

"I suppose he's not as bad as I originally thought," John admitted after the doctor had left.

"You have trust issues, John, and understandably so after what you've experienced at the hands of Starfleet officers in Section 31," she frowned. "I'm going to get ready for bed," she rooted through her drawer to find some nightclothes before going to the bathroom.

Although he had slept so long, John noted that he also felt a little tired.  _"It won't hurt to get some more rest,"_  he reasoned as he took off his sherwani that he had put on a little earlier leaving him only in the pair of black pants.

Catherine returned from the bathroom wrapped in her robe. She walked towards John noting his chest was bare once again, and she could not help but to feel physically drawn to him. Shirking off her robe and throwing it on a chair, she stood before him in a lacy nightgown that she occasionally wore for him during their time in London. Taking his hands into her own, she looked him in the eyes,  _"Take care of me, John. I need to feel you."_

" _But, Catherine,"_  he hesitated noting the desire in her eyes,  _"there are security guards outside the door. They might hear us."_

" _I don't care,"_ she let go of his hands. Hugging him closely, she started running her hands up and down his bare back.  _"Make love to me, John. Please don't make me beg, Imzadi,"_  she started kissing the warm skin over his collarbone and neck causing him to gasp.

" _If we're going to do this, we're doing it on my terms,"_  he rumbled causing her to smile. He picked her up and gently laid her on the bed. Getting on top of her, although they were both still clothed, he started kissing his way down her body. He lifted the bottom of her nightgown to expose her rounded belly.  _"Hello, little one,"_  he nuzzled his face into her baby bump before placing a gentle kiss on it. He then moved down and started kissing her inner thighs. At first she made quiet little moans and gasps trying not to be too loud else the security officers hear, but she then fell silent. Although she sometimes did stop vocalizations while they made love and turned to expressing her enjoyment via their telepathic link, he could not even sense her responding in that manner either. Lifting his head, he found her lying still with her eyes shut. He crawled up next to her and noted that she was still breathing. "Catherine?" he asked nudging her a bit.

"John, you were absolutely amazing," she sighed sleepily and rolled over putting her head on his chest and pinning him to the bed.

"Catherine?" he frowned realizing that she had indeed fallen asleep before he could even get her clothes off of her. Grateful that he had at least not reached the point of being fully aroused with no way to relieve himself, he wrapped his arms around her and gently stroked her hair as she started to snore quietly. Despite the letdown, he could not help but chuckle to himself regarding the situation.  _"Poor thing. She must be completely exhausted to fall asleep during sex like this,"_  he reasoned. "You have no idea how happy I am to have you back safe in my arms where you belong. Sleep well, Imzadi," he kissed her on the forehead.  _"For who knows what tomorrow will bring,"_ he thought and sighed before falling asleep.


	28. The Reckoning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So sorry for the delay in updating! Things got really busy this month. Had a great time in NYC, and if you ever have the chance to see a screening of National Theater Live's Frankenstein with Benedict Cumberbatch as The Creature, do it!
> 
> As always, thank you loyal followers and reviewers!
> 
> Listening track selections: "Always" by Switchfoot, "Wait It Out" by Imogen Heap, "This Is the Countdown" by Mae, and "Theme of the Empress" by Shigeru Umebayashi

Catherine and John slept soundly through the night both finding a deep sense of comfort in being once again in each other's arms. Feeling one of John's thumbs gently stroking circles on her skin, Catherine sighed happily as she woke up in his strong embrace. She lifted up her head to be greeted by him looking back at her with a tender smile. She smiled back until she realized that they still were clothed from the night before. Frowning, she asked, "What happened last night?"

"I know that you are of the opinion that I am a good lover, but I didn't know I was that good. I didn't even have a chance to undress you," he teased. "You did tell me, however, that I was amazing."

"Oh, John!" she rubbed her eyes. "Last night, I wanted nothing more than to be with you in every way, to share myself fully with you once again, and I had to go and spoil it," she huffed. "Please do not take my falling asleep like that as an indicator of your effectiveness as a lover."

"Do not worry yourself over it," he tried to reassure her kissing her on the forehead. "I have no doubt in my mind that you wanted to make love with me, but you were simply exhausted. It seems you physically have been through just as much as I have, but you've been so worried about caring for everyone else, including me, that you appear to have forgotten to take care of yourself. I know that you're not usually a selfish person, Catherine, but I think you need to start watching out for yourself for once. Besides, someone very important is depending on you," he beamed as he lightly rubbed her lower abdomen.

"I suppose you're right," she sighed. "But you can just get it out of your head right now if you think I'm going to do nothing but be on bed rest all the time. I would go mad with boredom and will only do it if Dr. McCoy thinks it's necessary."

"Of course, Imzadi. I know that I certainly wouldn't want you to end up shooting the walls with a phaser out of ennui," he laughed. "I am no doctor, but I only believe that you need to take better care of yourself. Try your best to eat properly. Get some exercise and adequate sleep. As I told Dr. McCoy, Augment pregnancies can be difficult on human women. I only fear that you will end up exhausting yourself if you push too hard."

"And those are reasonable suggestions," she replied as she pulled herself up in the bed to be face to face with him. "Please help and remind me to treat myself better, John," she stroked his cheek.

"Only if you let me dote upon you every day, even if it is some small deed on my part," he counter offered.

"You are a ruthless negotiator," she purred before kissing him.

" _Now, let me finish what we started last night. Let me take care of you just as you had asked,"_  he started kissing her neck.

" _I am in your hands, my Khan,"_  she gasped as he nibbled gently on her neck in the spot he knew was the most sensitive. The couple passionately started kissing as their hands roamed over each other's bodies. John pulled Catherine into a tight embrace and rolled her over to his other side and onto her back with which she responded with a slight yelp at his display of strength and abrupt maneuver. John rolled on top of her and began to kiss down her shoulder pushing the lace strap of her nightgown down her arm when the door chime to her quarters suddenly interrupted them. "Shit!" she swore under her breath.

"What do they want now?" John grumbled. "Can we have no privacy?"

"What time is it?" she asked as she gently pushed John off of her and rolled over to look at the clock on the nightstand. "We've slept too late. Dr. McCoy is here for his morning rounds," she explained as she climbed out of bed and wrapped her robe around herself. Before John could say anything to warn her of her appearance, she walked over to the door and opened it.

"Did I interrupt something?" Dr. McCoy asked looking quite uncomfortable.

"Oh, not at all. Come right in. Why do you ask?" she questioned as the door swooshed shut behind him.

"Your husband is still in bed, the linens on your bed are askew, and well, oh, hell," he pulled her over to a mirror on the wall and had her look at herself.

"Oh!" she blushed seeing her hair in a wild state of disarray from John tangling his fingers in it. "Excuse me!" she ran to the bathroom.

"I really can come back later if that would be better," Dr. McCoy offered John who was now sitting on the side of the bed.

"No, that's quite alright. You no doubt have other more important things to attend to this morning, and I would not want to be an inconvenience," John replied. "Besides, I'm sure Catherine and myself will have adequate time to ourselves to finish what we were doing later."

"Um, right," the doctor choked slightly as he pulled out his tricorder and medical scanner.

"Do we make you uncomfortable, doctor?" John asked as Dr. McCoy performed his diagnostic scans. "It is natural, after all, that a married man and woman in love share themselves physically with one another."

"Of course, it's natural," the doctor huffed. "It's supposed to be private, though, and it just feels like from what I've observed that all you two ever have on your minds is sex."

"That is not always true, but at the moment, I do concede that it is probably a high priority for both Catherine and myself," John admitted. "You have no idea what we've been through. We both thought we lost each other forever and that we contributed somehow to each other's demise. We are broken people, doctor, and we need time to heal. And I feel that we need time to reconnect before it's too late," he frowned.

"What do you mean by that?"

John paused a moment, and once noting that he could hear Catherine in the shower, he explained, "I am deeply concerned as to what fate Starfleet may have in mind for my family and myself. I am trying to be strong and positive for Catherine's sake, but I cannot help but to believe that they will punish me with the full force and extent of Federation law and perhaps even beyond that. I believe with all my heart that Catherine has done nothing wrong or unethical. She has only fought against injustice and stood up for those who were at the mercy of Admiral Marcus. And yet, I worry that my punishment will also be her own in that we will be separated forever. She is a superior woman, but I fear that although she would continue on existing for the sake of our child, she would ultimately be dead inside. She would merely exist as the shell of what she once was." John put his hand to his head and winced.

"Your blood pressure and heart rate are going up. Are you in pain? Please be honest with me. I'm only here to help you. Catherine has told me that you have the tendency of downplaying any physical discomfort you may be experiencing."

"She can be so sneaky," he managed to smirk. "I'm having a bit of a headache, however, it is nowhere near as severe as what I experienced in the past while the eel larva was inside my head," he admitted.

"You may have some residual headaches for a while. I'm sure your wife has explained that we are not sure if you'll have any permanent damage or not."

"Yes, she has," John nodded.

"I'm going to give you something to alleviate the pain," Dr. McCoy injected him with a hypospray.

"Thank you," John relaxed as he felt the throbbing in his head ebb away. "If only medication could numb the pain I feel in my heart."

"Now stop worrying yourself. It'll only make things worse," the doctor scolded him. "I'll be honest in that I still don't think I like you very much, but the more I learn of what was done to your family, to your wife, and to you by Marcus and that Section 31 outfit, I can't help but to feel sorry for you."

"I don't want your pity," John growled.

"That's not what I meant. What I mean is that besides the inhumane and unjust actions that were taken by Admiral Marcus in general, unethical medical practices took place against you and your fellow Augments which I find revolting. The more I learn about what took place, the more I find that I understand what went wrong and to some extent why you did what you did. I've read up a little about you, Khan, and history doesn't have very nice things to say about you. When I see you with Catherine and how much you love her and your family, however, I find it hard to believe that what historians wrote about you is completely true. And if you were such a horrible tyrant, why would you risk your life for Jim by offering your blood despite the risks to your own health? I know you do not trust doctors because of what they've done to you your entire life. To you, doctors usually mean pain rather than healing, but, damn it, just swallow your pride and cooperate for once in your life. Let me help you!"

"And what about Catherine? What can be done for her?"

"I know that Betazoid officers are restricted in using their psionic abilities by Starfleet at this time, but I think that given the big picture, her abilities may have ultimately spared many lives. If Marcus did not have her use her abilities to sort you out, she would most likely never have felt anything for you let alone figured out your true identity."

"Her ability to see past the monster on the outside and to see my heart allowed her to love me despite everything. Her love saved me from doing much worse. She gave me a reason to keep pressing onwards. She gave me hope for a better future for those like myself."

"I have only known her for less than a week now, but I think she deserves to be able to use her ability without restrictions. The Federation and Starfleet claim to be without prejudice, but how is limiting a being's innate abilities which can be used in a positive manner a good thing? Why should Vulcans be permitted to use mind melds but Betazoids not be permitted to use their psionic abilities? If she and her abilities were not an active part of your life, you may have completely snapped and took the lives of many more than you actually did."

"Will you speak on her behalf as well?"

"Of course, I will," the doctor nodded.

"But John is to continue to be our main priority," Catherine emerged from the bathroom dressed in a black Starfleet training pants and long-sleeved shirt uniform as she felt that it was more comfortable than her blue medical dress uniform. "If we cannot demonstrate his innocence, then all is lost for me as well. After all, I willingly helped him," she explained as she sat down beside John on the bed taking his hand into her own. "What must be done, Dr. McCoy?"

"Spock believes that we fortunately do have some time on our hands as Starfleet is concerned about doing damage control at the moment in regards to Section 31. They have a lot of explaining to do to the public as to how this organization came to be and how it got out of control. In a sense, it is indirectly Starfleet's fault that the wreckage of the  _Dauntless_  killed civilians on the ground. For now, I'm going to start an official study on the effects of the larvae of the Ceti eel on individuals that are infested with the creatures to officially document and demonstrate that you had great difficult controlling your behaviors. Of course, John, I will need your consent to perform a thorough physical exam to document the harm done to you by Section 31 and the eel larva. Catherine showed me the pictures of your injuries from when Marcus had you tortured. I'm sorry about that. I cannot even begin to imagine the pain you experienced."

"As my skin does not usually scar, I am grateful for the photographic evidence that they gathered as it will now incriminate them. I grant full consent to your medical examinations and care."

"Excellent. Later today, if you are feeling well enough, I'd like to perform a thorough physical assessment documenting your past and current injuries. I'd also like to take another look and see how your brain is doing."

"Very well," John nodded. "Now for Catherine," he motioned for Dr. McCoy to examine her.

"Any reoccurrence of the nausea and vomiting, Nurse Harrison?" Dr. McCoy asked as he started scanning her.

"No, none yet, although I will notify you when it returns," she sighed slightly.

"What do you mean by 'when it returns'?" John asked.

"Unlike my broken wrist and my concussion, my pregnancy is not a condition that can just be corrected and disappear. The effects of your blood will likely only be temporary, and as my hormone levels fluctuate and the pregnancy progresses, I may again experience morning sickness gone wild otherwise known as hyperemesis gravidarum. We will just have to take a wait and see approach. If it does in fact return, another infusion of a vial of your blood should be adequate to return my body to its proper balance," she explained.

"You're intelligent and knowledgeable about medical topics. Why didn't you just go to medical school? Have you ever considered going back?" Dr. McCoy arched his brow.

"No thanks," she smiled. "I'm happy in my role as a nurse and will want and need the time to devote to my family. Besides, in the past if I had gone to medical school, I would still be there and would never have met John."

"Isn't she brilliant, though?" John looked at her lovingly.

"Oh, John," she playfully pushed his arm.

"Do you note any other negative symptoms at this time?" Dr. McCoy asked bringing them back to the subject at hand.

"I'm just very tired, but as John pointed out to me this earlier, I have been through quite a lot lately and should try to rest to regain my strength," she replied.

"And that is sound and wise advice especially as you will find yourself getting more tired as the pregnancy progresses. You do not want to wear yourself out," the doctor agreed. "Well, the three of you seem to be holding up just fine at the moment. I want you both to rest, have some lunch, and then I'll see about starting my workup on Khan, I mean John, early this afternoon."

After Dr. McCoy took his leave, Catherine turned to see John staring intensely at her. "What?" she smiled.

"Nothing," he smiled back, "just admiring you, your beauty and intelligence. By the way, I noticed last night, and again today, that the doctor referred to you as Nurse Harrison."

"Yes, I was tired of lying, the constant vigilance and hiding. There's no reason to conceal neither our love nor our marriage anymore. I submitted to have my Starfleet dossier updated to change my name on my records. So now, in regards to Starfleet, we're official."

"You wanted to show them that now I am yours and that you are mine."

"I have been and always shall be yours," she pulled the lapis lazuli pendant out from under her shirt to show him that she still wore it. John reached over gently placing his hand over the pendant and her heart. "I never took it off despite my doubts," she told him as she placed her hand overtop of his.

"Will you lie with me for a little while?" he asked softly.

"Of course. What have you got in mind?"

"Just following the doctor's orders."

"Oh," she frowned.

"It seems that I am going to have a busy afternoon, so what little time I have remaining this morning, I want to spend it with you in my arms. I am sorry if it is not in the manner you desire."

"It's alright. I can think of nowhere else I would rather be," she smiled.

After the pair nestled in bed together for about thirty minutes, John got up to get a shower and get ready. Catherine also got up to get something to eat. Coming out of the bathroom clean and dressed for the day, John retrieved some tea and food from the replicator and joined her for a small lunch. Just as he finished eating, the door chime to Catherine's quarters alarmed. She got up and was greeted with a group of security officers who were to escort John to sickbay. "Aren't you coming?" he asked as she sat down again at the small table.

"As much as I would like to go, I should stay and try to rest. Besides, I cannot actively participate in assisting Dr. McCoy now that he is gathering evidence for your case."

"You are right. You are biased and your involvement would possibly be considered interference or tainting the evidence," he noted as he turned to leave with the security detachment.

"Wait!" she scrambled up from her chair and ran to him.

"Imzadi?" he asked turning to be greeted by her throwing herself into his arms and kissing him.

"For luck," she smiled. "I'm hoping for good news about your brain scans upon your return."

" _I love you,"_  he smiled back.

" _I love you, too,"_ she replied as he left down the corridor with the red-shirted security officers. Catherine began to fidget around her quarters trying to find something to occupy herself. She finally decided to sit down and try to catch up on her reading. After about an hour, she was relieved when she received a message on her PADD from Janice asking if she could come and visit to which she readily agreed.

"How are you feeling?" Janice asked and smiled as she entered Catherine's quarters giving her a tight hug with her uninjured arm.

"Physically, much better thanks to John. Emotionally? That's another story," she frowned as she had Janice sit with her on her small couch. "How is your arm?"

"The fracture is healing well," she showed Catherine her arm, which was slightly swollen and bruised. "Dr. McCoy wants me to take it easy to avoid re-fracturing it, of course, and it's going to be sore a little while. Where's John? I was hoping he would be here so I could finally meet him."

"He's in sickbay at the moment. Dr. McCoy is examining him to see if there is any improvement of the lesions on the surface of his brain and to gather evidence for the trial."

"How is he doing? Is he happy that he's going to be a father?"

"He's getting used to the idea, but, yes, he is happy. He's understandably concerned, though, that any punishment handed down to him will mean his separation from us. Physically he is rapidly improving as expected of an Augment. I envy his ability to recover so quickly," she admitted.

"If you don't mind my asking, how are the two of you?"

"It's going to take some time, but we're healing. I feel like such a hypocrite, though. I keep trying to tell him to be positive and not to worry, but I'm so scared, Jan. What will become of us? Besides the upcoming trial and its possible results, I feel like something might have happened to our telepathic bond. Part of me wonders if there is just something wrong with me. This may be a little too much information, but I am desperate to be with him again. I think that if there is something wrong with our link, that will correct it, but I also just need to feel him and his raw strength. When we make love, it feels like nothing else in the universe exists or matters."

"Yes, that's a little too much information," Janice laughed, "but I can't help but say how beautiful it is that the two of you have that kind of relationship. No matter what happens, I will be here for you. I truly hope things turn out well for you. All three of you!"

"Thank you," Catherine leaned over and hugged her friend.

"Did you tell him yet?"

"No," she sighed, "and I feel so ashamed and almost dirty having kept it from him this long already. I'm going to tell him later today. I just I hope that I do not make him angry."

"Well, if you need anything, please tell me."

"Have you heard from my parents yet?"

"They're on their way in from Betazed, but that's all I know at the moment."

"They're going to be so angry."

"No, they're not," Janice squeezed Catherine's hand. "Let's try not think about all of this at the moment, okay?"

"I'll try," Catherine agreed. The two friends did their best to change the subject and discuss other lighter matters. After some time passed, the doors to Catherine's quarters opened and John walked inside. "You're back," she smiled and got up to greet him. "Good news?"

"Yes, good news," he kissed her forehead. "The lesions are almost completely healed. Although the headaches may linger for a while as my neurotransmitter and electrolyte levels remain disrupted, Dr. McCoy expects a full recovery," he cracked a small smile before spinning her around and kissing her passionately. "Oh, I'm sorry. I did not know we had company," he apologized noting Janice sitting on the couch blushing slightly at his display of affection.

"No, it's alright," Janice smiled.

"John," Catherine pulled him over, "this is my dearest friend Janice Rand. She has been wanting to meet you."

"Cath has told me so much about you. I am glad to meet you finally," Janice got up to shake his hand. The three then sat together discussing various issues including Janice's misadventures as Captain Kirk's yeoman.

"Why is it so easy to poke fun at him? I haven't even officially met him yet!" Catherine noted as the three laughed at the captain's expense.

"I will not deny that he has a good heart, but his reputation with women certainly precedes him," Janice shook her head.

"I would not be surprised if he is a changed man if he survives this," John noted. "I'm sure his priorities will be quite different."

The two women agreed, and after some further conversation, Janice decided to take her leave so that her friends could rest. "If you need anything, let me know," she reminded Catherine on her way out the door.

"Are you hungry?" Catherine asked John. "Neither of us have had much to eat today."

"Go ahead and choose something for me," he nodded his head and took his seat at the small table where they ate earlier. Catherine selected a couple different dishes and placed them in front of John before shuffling through the replicator cards trying to choose something for herself. "Is something wrong?" he asked noting she was taking a long time to select something to eat. "Are you feeling ill?"

"John, I need to tell you something," she put the replicator cards down. "Please do not get upset," she requested as she sat down at the table across from him.

"What is it, Imzadi? You look so frightened."

"I stayed here earlier when you went to sickbay for reasons other than just wanting to rest. I've been confined to my quarters not only because of my health and because it made it easier for me to keep an eye on you and your health, but also because I am to be placed under arrest once it has been determined that we are both safe and healthy enough to travel," she explained timidly.

"What? No!" John shouted and knocked his cup of tea across the room causing the cup to shatter against the wall.

"Please, John," she pleaded with him ducking beside her chair afraid that he would hit her in his fit of rage.

Seeing her cowering in fear of him, John took a deep breath and calmed down before quietly walking around the table and kneeling beside her. "There's no need to be afraid, my love, for I am not angry with you," he gently rubbed her back. "A little disappointed that you did not tell me sooner, yes, but I am not angry with you and will never harm you ever again. I promise. I am, however, enraged at the audacity of Starfleet in that they would place an innocent woman with child under arrest."

"I'm sorry for delaying in telling you. You're already under enough stress. I didn't want to upset you with the state of your physical health, but as you are recovering so rapidly, as you usually do, our transfer to Earth may happen unannounced and at any moment. Dr. McCoy is doing his best to delay things as Starfleet regulations state that the transport of a patient is to be performed at the discretion of the attending physician."

"But these are extenuating circumstances," John frowned.

"Yes, they are," she sighed getting up and sitting back down at the table.

"I am, after all, considered not only to be a tyrant and former war criminal but now also an intergalactic terrorist," he commented as he helped push in her chair closer to the table stroking her hair gently before going to the replicator to select something for her to eat. Placing a bowl of chicken noodle soup in front of her, he again took his seat across from her.

"I'm not very hungry, but thank you," she sighed sadly.

"Please at least try to eat a little," he looked at her his eyes pleading. "For me."

Catherine stirred the soup around with her spoon. "I told them that I would willingly surrender myself to the authorities and fully cooperate in providing information about you and our involvement with Section 31 under one condition," she admitted.

"You mean to betray me?" he asked clenching his fists in anger. "And what was that condition? Tell me!" he barked.

"That we be incarcerated, tried, and punished together likewise. Whatever happens to you will happen to me. They gave me their word that they would uphold my request. I have it in writing if you want to see the proof."

"Catherine, why would you do that?" his voice faltered at her response. "Why would you risk your freedom for me like that?"

"It will at least guarantee that the worst cannot happen to you, to neither of us, at least not while I am pregnant. After I give birth, whatever punishment they decide upon for you will also be carried out for me. If you are put in cryostasis, I will be at your side. If you are sent to a penal colony, I will join you there. I have accepted my fate, John, and it is my hope that this action will lessen the severity of our punishment."

"What about our child?"

"I have not spoken with them yet, but it is my hope that my parents will raise our child in the event that we cannot."

"I see."

After the pair picked at their food eating a small amount of it, Catherine curled up on the couch while John furrowed his brow deep in thought and went to the window to look out at the view of Earth. After a couple of minutes, he heard some sniffling and turned to find Catherine crying. "Imzadi, why are you weeping?" he sat down beside her on the small couch and wrapped his arms around her pulling her close to him.

"Given my decision to share in your punishment, I just realized that we may never have the chance now of being together again in the manner of husband and wife even though we may physically be together in one another's company. We won't have any privacy. Last night might have been our only chance, and I ruined it. Sometimes I wish that I were an Augment like you. I hate feeling weak and frail."

"Where is this coming from all of a sudden? Catherine, Augments are not perfect. I am a flawed being as are my people. We are just as vulnerable as humans and experience fear, anger, pride, spite, and yes, even moments of weakness. Many Augments outside of my family struggled greatly to reign in their emotions, and some ultimately were driven insane. It was not unheard of for the scientists to have such Augments humanely euthanized for this very reason."

"How horrible!" she gasped as she wiped away her tears. "How could they treat you like mere animals?"

"I'm not saying it was right for them to do that, but at the same time, those Augments were quite dangerous. You yourself have seen firsthand what insanity can do to a single Augment, and I was not even yet a fully lost cause. Imagine what a mentally unstable group of my kind could have done together. If they managed not kill each other in the process, there would have been rape, destruction, and the shedding of innocent blood."

"Have you ever had to kill a fellow Augment for this reason?"

John's face blanched ever so slightly as he furrowed his brow remembering what he wished to forget. "Unfortunately, yes, I had to personally carry out the execution of two criminally insane Augments in the field while we were at war. It is not something I am proud of doing. In fact, thinking of it still makes me sick. It had to be done, though, for the sake of justice, mercy, and the protection of the weak and innocent. I still remember their names, Giroux and Ovechkin. We had brought them on after they had defected from another faction. I still do not know what led up to them losing their minds, but they ransacked a village. I can remember the carnage they left behind, people cut open and dead in their homes, young women laying in the streets bleeding from between their legs from being raped," his voice trembled. "We did what we could to alleviate the suffering they had caused. Needless to say, many people received the gift of my own blood that day, but it, of course, was never enough to heal the emotional scars left behind," he explained as a tear rolled down his cheek. "I hunted those bastards down personally, fought them, and beheaded them both."

"I thought you weren't going to be so weepy anymore."

"I just said that it would not be as often, Catherine," he defended himself. "Even though the eel larva is gone, I'm still human and still feel pain and regret. You are one of the few with whom I feel comfortable enough to share my feelings. Are you blocking my thoughts and emotions out again?" he asked angrily.

"No, I'm not doing it consciously or on purpose, Imzadi. I'm sorry, John. That was very insensitive of me to say. I was not thinking. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I fear that our bond with each other may have been damaged. I think it is one of the reasons why I am so eager to be with you physically once again. Or maybe it is just me that is damaged. I still struggle with feeling insecure and incompetent, John."

"But at least you can admit that. I only wish there was something more I could do to help you feel secure with yourself."

"Perhaps if I did not feel so physically small and frail I would feel better about myself. If only I could be an Augment, too," she started to sniffle again trying to hold back her tears.

"Your inner strength makes up for the physical strength that you lack. I am glad that you are not an Augment, Catherine. Your unaltered, flawed humanity is part of what I love so much about you. If you were an Augment, you probably would not have been able to empathize with me so easily nor have been able to help me to embrace my own humanity. We Augments are not exactly known for our ability to feel compassion."

"But, I hate being flawed. I am so envious of you, you know. Your physique is flawless, and you are perfection embodied. And your personality, you're so charismatic, magnetic, and electric. From the first moment I saw you, I could not help but to be drawn to you. Even apart from your physicality, you're so sure of yourself even when everything else has gone to hell. I, on the other hand, just fall to pieces," she slouched despondently and looked down at her feet.

"You clearly are forcing my hand this time. I have told you on more than one occasion that I am not perfect," he growled lightly grabbing her forcing her to look him in the face, "and I certainly am not always sure of myself. Whether you sense it or not, you must believe me, Catherine, when I tell you that I am scared to death of what might happen to us. Just look at my hands," he lifted his hands in front of her, "they're shaking. My adrenaline levels must surely be through the roof. It was so different before when all my focus was on keeping our family safe. Now that I feel that at least to some extent they are not in any danger, all I can think of is you and our child," he shuddered. "If love and sentiment are flaws, then I am a hopeless case, because I cannot bear the thought of being apart from you ever again in any manner. You have touched the deepest part of me, the part that I had guarded my entire life after the death of my mother, and I can never again be the same man I was when I went to sleep in that damned cryotube all those years ago. When you berate and doubt yourself, I feel that you are berating and doubting me, too, because the most vulnerable part of me, my heart, loves, trusts, and believes in you," he breathed heavily and looked away angrily as a fresh tear rolled down his cheek.

"Oh, John," she gasped and started to cry at his raw display of emotion. "I'm sorry, so sorry," she started to profusely apologize and placed gentle kisses on any inch of exposed skin she could find. "What is wrong with me? What has happened to my abilities? Why can't I sense your emotions or read you as I used to? I need to feel you," she cried a little harder.

"Now, do not cry," his features softened seeing her feeling as vulnerable as he did. "We will figure something out. I promise that as long as I am living and breathing, I will do everything in my power to make sure we can share ourselves fully with each other once again not just physically but also mentally and emotionally," he explained as he leaned in to whisper something in her ear. "But especially physically. Worst-case scenario, I will have you up against the wall of our cell if need be whether we have privacy or not," he rumbled in her ear giving her shivers down her spine.  _"You like the thought of that?"_ he asked sensing her response.

" _You and your voice make just about anything sound good,"_  she grinned.  _"You could read the manual on Starfleet regulations to me and I would find it arousing."_

" _Perhaps our link is not as damaged as you thought, or perhaps it is like an injured muscle and needs time to heal and be exercised,"_ he wiped the tears off her cheeks as she calmed down.

" _If you don't use it, you lose it. Or, at least that's what they say in regards to muscle."_

" _Well, I get the impression that we're going to have a lot of time together to work our kinks out."_

" _Yes, we are,"_ she nuzzled into his neck momentarily before they started to kiss.

Once again, in the midst of their display of affection for one another, the door chime to her door rang before the doors swooshed opened without warning. "Spock!" Dr. McCoy's voice sounded from the hallway. "They're my patients and you can't just barge in there!"

"I have my orders, Dr. McCoy," Spock calmly noted before walking through the open door into Catherine's quarters. "Khan Noonien Singh otherwise known by the alias of Commander John Harrison and Lieutenant Catherine Harrison née Troi, I have been ordered to arrest you, take you into custody, and transfer you to Starfleet Headquarters."

"I'm sorry. I tried to stall things as long as I could," Dr. McCoy followed in behind Spock.

"It's alright, doctor," John replied calmly as Catherine unwrapped her arms from around his neck.

"This is becoming a theme," the doctor huffed under his breath looking at his feet in embarrassment.

"Commander Spock, I believe it is law that you must disclose to both of us for what crimes we are being arrested," John sighed.

"You are correct, Mr. Singh," Spock noted and pulled out his PADD. "You are to be arrested and tried for acts of terrorism against Starfleet resulting in the deaths of numerous Federation citizens and Starfleet personnel as well as the murder of Admiral Alexander Marcus."

"That son of a bitch deserved what he got," Catherine hissed.

"Lieutenant, you are being faced with charges of conspiracy, espionage, insubordination, murder of a Starfleet officer, firing upon Starfleet officers, sabotage, falsifying records, smuggling, treason, trespassing, and theft," Spock explained as security officers filed into the room.

"What the hell?" she gasped.

"Why is my wife being charged with so many crimes?" John took her hand to reassure her. "She hasn't done anything wrong, but I have!"

"While to some extent I am in agreement with you, unfortunately, your wife is a Federation citizen and a member of Starfleet. You, however, technically are not as you are from a time before the formation of the Federation. You are not going to be held to the same standard."

"Oh, let's just get it over with already," Catherine stood up and held out her hands. Spock signaled for one of the officers to cuff her.

"Catherine!" John protested standing up as a couple armed security officers approached him and a third cuffed him.

"I'm alright, John," she insisted.

"Catherine, you do not have to do this!" John shouted and struggled against his bonds.

"I must take responsibility for my actions, John, just as much as you do," she held out her arms further allowing the security officer to place the handcuffs on her wrists. "After all, I essentially aided you to some degree indirectly in your acts of terrorism."

"What about our child?" he asked as he started to feel panicked. "An Augment with possible psionic abilities, what if they want to turn our child into an experiment? What if they want to use our child as a weapon?"

"John, we'll be okay," she put her hands to her abdomen.

"I promise that I will make sure they get the care that they need," Dr. McCoy spoke up. John turned to Catherine for her input.

"He will not let anything like that happen to us," she nodded in agreement.

"But," John sighed, "what about my past? What if they try to hold that against me?"

"I think Commander Spock's testimony will be helpful, and if Dr. McCoy can successfully prove that you did not have complete control over your actions when you had Harewood bomb the archives, when you attacked headquarters, and when you killed Admiral Marcus, then there really is nothing else that they can charge against you. Besides, John, like Commander Spock said, you're technically not even a Federation citizen."

"I gave my word to your wife that I would assist in defending you," Spock added. "I admit that I have a desire to understand you and your motivations better. Speaking with your wife and learning a little more about your situation, I believe that you are both in fact victims of crime. It will be some time until your trials. Once the ship is evacuated and repairs begin, I will meet with you as soon as possible to begin gathering information for your cases."

"Thank you, Commander Spock," Catherine smiled weakly before the security officers started to escort the couple out of her quarters to the shuttle bay.

Dr. McCoy followed the couple and their security detachment. Upon arriving to the shuttle bay, they noted a medical crew loading Captain Kirk on a medical bed onto a shuttle. "We're maintaining him in an induced coma, but his body's systems are stabilizing. We may need more of your blood down the road," the doctor reported.

"Of course," John nodded. "You'll know where to find me." As most of the security officers left leaving a couple armed officers behind to escort the couple onto their own shuttle, everyone started turning around upon hearing a commotion behind them. Catherine and John turned around to see Carol Marcus hobbling towards them.

"You bastard!" Carol slapped John across the face upon reaching him. "I hope they bring the death penalty back just for you, and when you're dead, I hope you rot in hell!" she screamed before Scotty caught up to her, wrapped her in his arms, and tried pulling her away as she sobbed and started shouting obscenities directed at John. The security officer rushed him onto the shuttle.

"That's enough, lassie," Scotty tried to calm her down. "You'll hurt your leg again if you aren't careful."

Catherine could not hold her tongue and shouted at Carol, "Don't feign ignorance in these matters! You too had a role to play in your father's sick games!" She glared at her before following John and the security officers onto the shuttle. "That crazy bitch," she muttered under her breath as she took her seat beside John.

"If looks could kill," John smirked at Catherine and her outburst. The couple became silent as the shuttle took off from the shuttle bay. Some time into their flight, John heard Catherine sniffling.  _"What's wrong, Imzadi?"_  he asked noting fresh tears streaming down Catherine's cheeks.

" _I was just thinking about how disappointed my parents are going to be in me about all this."_

" _Have you ever done anything to make them disappointed in you before?"_ he asked as he took hold of her hand.

" _No, nothing like this."_

" _Have you reason to believe that they would love you any less?"_

" _No, I suppose not."_

" _They may be angry with you at first, but once they know the truth, they will understand. And ultimately, if they want nothing to do with you, you always have our family and me. I am always yours. I have been and always shall be,"_ he remembered her words from earlier.  _"Are you feeling nauseated?"_

" _Yes."_

" _Do you need Dr. McCoy to give you another infusion?"_

" _No, not yet. I think this time it's just anxiety from being arrested and all that. Not like that happens every day, you know,"_ she lightly elbowed him in the side.

" _No, it does not,"_  he sighed.  _"I still don't like it and disagree with your arrest, but I'm glad you're here with me."_

" _Me, too,"_ she leaned her head on his shoulder.  _"Me, too."_


	29. Living In a Glass House

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: If anyone's wondering, I promise that I will cut Catherine and John a break eventually! Really I do! They deserve it! There's a little treat at the end of the chapter. Just something that made me smile.
> 
> Listening track selections: "Theme of the Empress Fate" by Shigeru Umebayashi, "Ode to John Harrison" by Michael Giacchino, and "Songs of Captivity and Freedom" by Murray Gold

After discussing her concerns about her parents, Catherine and John became silent during the shuttle ride to San Francisco from the  _Enterprise_. The shuttle landed at Spacedock for personnel transfers, and then landed in Hong Kong and Paris before continuing onwards to San Francisco. Despite both of them being handcuffed, John continued holding her hand and occasionally leaned over to kiss her on the temple. As they came closer to their destination, the shuttle began to be jostled about from air turbulence.

"Damn it," Catherine hissed under her breath.

"What is it?" John leaned over and whispered in her ear.

"I'm really starting to feel sick from this turbulence," she whispered back as her eyes started to water from trying not to vomit. "Don't the pilots know what they're doing?"

"Clearly they are inexperienced as this is something easy to correct," he sighed.

"Well, they better get it under control soon, or else they're going to have a mess to clean up!" she shouted in panic and frustration as she started to gag.

A security officer walked over upon hearing her raise her voice. "What's wrong with her?" he asked as he kneeled in front of her.

"Get away from me!" she used her foot to try to push him away.

"Whoa, lady! There'll be none of that!" another officer threatened her drawing his phaser.

"Stop! Do not harm her," John growled. "Can't you see that she's ill? Tell the idiots piloting this shuttle to pay more attention to what they're doing! The turbulence is upsetting her." The officer who pulled out his phaser accordingly went to the cockpit to advise the pilots of their passengers' complaints. "Such incompetence!" he grumbled under his breath. "Imzadi, try to focus on me," he encouraged her.

"John, I can't! Someone, please help me!" Catherine started retching harder bending over at the waist trying to alleviate her discomfort. John felt helpless with his hands bound, as all he could do was try to hold her hair back as he expected her to start vomiting at any moment.

Much to their relief, one of the  _Enterprise_ 's nursing staff was onboard, heard the disturbance, and rushed to her aid. "Nurse Harrison? What's wrong?"

"The turbulence has upset her stomach," John quickly explained.

"Hold on. I'll be right back," the unidentified nurse ran and grabbed her kit. "Here you go," she handed to her a small bag into which she could vomit if necessary.

"No antiemetics!" Catherine gasped out between gagging.

"It's alright. I know about your allergy, and Dr. McCoy told me what to do," she pulled out a hypospray and empty vial. "Sir, do you mind?" she looked to John.

"Not at all," he reached up with his cuffed hands and pulled down the collar of his shirt to thoroughly expose his neck so the nurse could draw his blood.

The nurse quickly withdrew some of John's blood and used the hypospray to inject it into Catherine. "There you go, miss. You should be right as rain quite soon," she reassured Catherine who was starting to plex to calm herself.

"Do you by chance have any sedatives in your kit? I'm sorry in that I do not know your name. I really did not have a chance to get to meet everyone in sickbay."

"Nadia Johnson. I'm usually on night duty, and, yes, I'll give you a dose to counteract the effects of his blood," she nodded as she pulled out the medication and started to draw it up into the hypospray. "Here you go," she injected the sedative. "Are you sure you'll be okay?"

"I'll be alright," Catherine nodded. "Thank you, Nadia. You can go back to your seat now."

"Yes, thank you," John also thanked her before once again taking Catherine's hand as Nadia left. "Dr. McCoy was wise to have someone onboard in the event that you had any difficulty with travelling. Do you need anything else? Is there anything I can do?"

"No," she replied as she leaned her head on his shoulder. "Although, I think I'm going to be quite sleepy for the remainder of our journey. Besides, who knows what time it is at the moment. Being on the  _Enterprise_ , I've lost track of time, and my internal clock is a mess."

"Go ahead and rest," he leaned his head on hers. "I will wake you when we get close to our destination." Catherine soon dozed off snoring quietly every once in a while much to John's amusement. Soon enough, they began their descent towards San Francisco. "Catherine," he nudged her, "we'll be there shortly."

"Hmm?" she groaned sleepily.

"It's time to get up," he smiled.

"That sedative really did a number on me this time around," she slurred her words slightly as she stretched and yawned.

"You can sleep to your heart's content once we get settled in wherever they decide to put us."

After landing and the few other passengers disembarked, armed officers boarded to assist in escorting John and Catherine to where they were to be processed and booked. John stood up first and held out his hands, although cuffed, for her to hold so that he could help her stand. She took his hands, and upon standing, she became overwhelmed with dizziness nearly collapsing as her legs started to give out from under her. John struggled to help her remain standing given that their hands were bound.

"John, I feel horrid," she gasped. "I'm so tired."

"Nurse Johnson told me about her being ill. Is she going to be able to walk?" the lead security officer in charge of their transfer, Lieutenant Anderson, asked seeing the couple's struggle.

"If you could take these shackles off of me, I can carry her," John said as he helped ease Catherine down to her seat as she struggled to maintain consciousness.

"I do not think that would be wise. Why should any of us trust you? You're a criminal," Anderson hesitated.

"I will not make any attempts to escape as it would endanger my wife and unborn child," John tried to reassure him. "Her condition is already seemingly fragile at the moment, and I would neither put her at further risk nor abandon her to escape on my own. We have accepted our fate and will face the penalty for our actions. We're tired of running."

"If you try anything, my men and I will fire upon you both. Do not make me regret this," he warned John as he motioned to one of the other officers to take off John's shackles while he set his phaser setting to "kill."

"Thank you," John rubbed his wrists briefly after the shackles were removed before scooping up Catherine in his arms.

"What's going on?" she sleepily asked him.

"You're not in any state to be walking right now. I'm going to carry you."

"Okay," she nuzzled into his chest and fell back asleep resting her fettered hands in her lap.

The guards with Lieutenant Anderson in the back led John off the shuttle out into the chilled, early morning air of San Francisco. Some fog lingered in the bay as the sun started to rise steadily into the sky. John breathed in deeply relishing the crisp, fresh air glad to be experiencing it once again after being off the planet for so many days. The air of Kronos was dirty, practically toxic, and the filtered air of the  _Enterprise_  felt artificial to him. Birds were starting to awaken and chirped happily in the trees lining the paved sidewalk on which the guards guided him. Despite their current state of affairs, John felt content to once again be home on Earth carrying the woman he loved in his arms. His serenity, however, would not last long.

As they approached a building, which he determined was most likely their destination, John noted a group of people huddling outside of it. Some were wearing Starfleet uniforms of varying colors while others were dressed as civilians. Getting closer to the doors, he and a sleeping Catherine were soon bombarded with flashes of light from cameras, journalists shoving microphones and recording devices in his face, and people shouting not only questions but also insults at them both. He cringed upon hearing a woman shout, undoubtedly directed at Catherine who had no idea what was occurring, "What's it like to sleep with the Devil? Slut!" He tightened his grip on her hoping in some way it would shield and protect her from the onslaught.

" _In another time and place, they would have been severely punished for such insolence!"_ he thought to himself while trying to remain composed. Suddenly an egg flew through the air from the crowd and splattered into the side of John's head, the yolk and egg white starting to drip down the side of his face. Sensing the situation quickly deteriorating into a possible riot, the armed security officers came to his aid pushing back the crowd away from him and Catherine while Lieutenant Anderson rushed them inside.

"I'm sorry. We should've taken better precautions and have been better prepared for something like that," Anderson frowned apologetically. "Are either of you harmed?"

John looked down at Catherine's sleeping form to note if she was injured. "She appears to be unharmed, and only my pride is hurt," he sighed as the broken egg continued dripping off his face onto his shirt and started to dry feeling sticky on his skin.

"What the hell is going on out there?" an African-American man dressed in a Starfleet admiral's uniform shouted upon entering the lobby in which they were currently standing.

"Admiral Morrow!" Anderson stood at attention.

"At ease!" the admiral barked. "What is the meaning of the disturbance outside?"

"I believe that we are the reason behind the unrest of which you speak," John frowned as he shifted Catherine in his arms to get a better grip on her.

"Is she alright?" Admiral Morrow's visage and tone softened upon seeing Catherine out cold in John's arms.

"She should be fine. She became ill during our shuttle ride. Thankfully there was a nurse aboard to attend to her needs. She is tired and just needs to sleep off the sedative," John explained before tenderly kissing the top of her head.

"My name is Admiral Harry Morrow. I have been charged with leading the initial board of inquiry for both of your cases. Let's get you somewhere where you can get cleaned up and let her rest," he motioned for John and the security officers to follow him. Admiral Morrow led the group through the corridors of the building, and after passing a few security checkpoints, he brought them to a room resembling the brig cell in which John was held on the  _Enterprise_. "Please, let her rest here," Admiral Morrow motioned to the bench which could double as a bed, "and you also can get cleaned up and rest. We'll leave you both to have some peace and quiet until later this morning. If you get hungry, there's a replicator in here," he opened a panel.

"If my wife wishes to bathe upon awakening, is there a way for her to have some privacy and preserve her dignity?" John questioned remembering his shower on the  _Enterprise_ as he gently set down Catherine. A security officer removed her shackles, and John pulled a blanket over her.

"There's a privacy barrier that can be activated here," the admiral pressed a button causing a panel to come out to hide the bather from prying eyes during their shower.

"Is this a standard feature?"

"Yes, all Starfleet brig cells contain this feature. Even criminals deserve common decency. Why do you ask?"

"Oh, no reason," John forced a smile and tried not to roll his eyes thinking of his treatment by Kirk on the  _Enterprise_  after his surrender on Kronos.

"Very well. I will have a physician stop by in a while to check on you both. If you need anything, a guard will be down the hall."

"Thank you, Admiral Morrow." After the admiral took his leave and the glass-like security field generated behind him securing John and Catherine inside, John stooped down beside Catherine and stroked some loose strands of hair out of her face before kissing her on the lips.

Suddenly, she gasped loudly and sat up quickly nearly head butting him in the process. "What happened? Where are we?" she breathed heavily putting a hand to her chest.

"You were struggling with the effects of the sedative, so I carried you after we landed here in San Francisco. We're in a holding cell," he sat bedside her wrapping his arms around her to help her calm down.

"Oh," she chuckled and turned to dangle her legs off the side of the bench.

"What's so funny?" he raised his brow.

"Just goes to show that I'd make a terrible drunk. Oh John, what happened?" she started picking pieces of eggshell off his face and shirt.

"We were bombarded by a mob upon our arrival. As expected, some are not particularly fond of us," he sighed. "I am glad that you did not hear what some of them said about you."

"Who cares what they think? We know the truth. I don't know about you, but I will fight to ensure it gets revealed."

"How are you feeling? I'm sorry that this pregnancy is being so hard on you, love."

"I'm alright for now. I know that it's not necessarily going to be easy, but I'm happy. Hopefully my hormones will calm down in the next couple of weeks. They have not been much help in regards not only to my physical state by also my emotions. By the way, John, do yourself a favor. Don't ever get pregnant," she again slurred her words slightly from the lingering effects of the sedative.

"Thank you for your professional medical advice. I will do my best to avoid it," he smiled.

"Always use contraception," she hiccupped suddenly, her stomach still trying to settle down from the shuttle ride, causing John to laugh.

"Well, I hope you won't be doing any drinking in the near future given your pregnancy," he nudged her slightly in the side.

"Don't worry. I'm not planning on it," she yawned.

"Would you like some tea?"

"Yes, please," she nodded. John retrieved a cup of Earl Grey from the replicator for her before starting to wash the egg off his face, neck, and shirt. Catherine sipped at her tea and watched him sadly thinking how he must have felt after being mobbed and insulted by the people outside. As he finished and dried his face off, she looked at him intensely,  _"How far the mighty have fallen. I'm so sorry. It hurts you so much."_

" _No good deed goes unpunished,"_  he turned to face her putting down his towel.  _"Besides, no one mourns the wicked."_

She set down her cup of tea, and getting up carefully, she walked to him on wobbly legs before throwing herself into his arms.  _"I do. My heart aches for you when you hurt, John, and you're not wicked. You are good and so wise. You have brought out and nurtured such positive characteristics in me that I didn't know I had within my heart. No matter what happens, you will always be my Khan,"_  she kissed him before stroking his cheek noting a tear that had escaped his eye.  _"I'm sorry that Dr. Marcus hit you like that,"_  she gently kissed the cheek that Carol had struck.

" _I probably deserved it. I did break her leg when she tried to get between me and her father,"_ he looked away feeling ashamed for hurting a woman like that.

" _Hey,"_  she cupped his cheek and turned his head to have him look at her,  _"we have all done things recently that we regret including her. She did in some way contribute to the suffering of our family and us. I'm not saying that it was right of you to hurt her, but at that point, I'm sure you were barely holding onto control of yourself."_

" _I'm afraid to know where I'd be right now if it weren't for you, my other, better half,"_  he cupped her cheek and smiled sadly. _"Come, let us rest,"_  he led her back to the bench and helped her sit down before taking a seat beside her.

"It is not highly publicized information outside of Starfleet, but do you realize that things may have turned out very differently for us if it was not for that Romulan from the future, Nero, and his interference with the space-time continuum?" she asked as she picked up her cup of tea.

"I am very aware. If our timelines were not altered, it is likely that we would never have met," he played with some of her curls.

"There is a rumor that there is one person also from the future that knows how the lives of some of us would have turned out if things were not changed," she paused. "Do you ever wonder what our lives might have been like?"

"Well, it hardly matters. We must make the best of the time and the lives that we have now. Besides, if my other life did not have you in it, it would not have been worth living," he tucked a loose curl behind her ear.

"Do you think there are some fixed events in time? Some things that are destined to happen regardless of other factors?"

"If you mean fate, I'm not entirely sure what I think on the subject."

"I suppose that's a question for someone like the Doctor," she teased causing him to smile.

John scooted closer to Catherine wrapping his arms around her and kissing her once again on her temple. "I love you. Have I told you that recently?" he rumbled in her ear.

"Yes, of course you have. You always tell me," she reached down and squeezed his hand.

"Then it is inadequate. I must tell you more often."

"I love you, too," she guided his hand down to her abdomen over her womb. "Sometimes I still find it hard to comprehend that I'm with child."

"It is not exactly something either of us were expecting," he agreed. "I'm not sure if I believe in what they call miracles, but, to me, our child just might be the closest thing to it. A little ray of light conceived in such darkness and chaos."

"Our little one has taught me that life goes on despite the pain and darkness. I'm just curious to see when he or she will decide to arrive," she smiled.

"Oh?"

"Betazoid pregnancies last ten months."

"I see. Human gestation is only nine months."

"Yes, so between the Augment, human, and Betazoid, who knows when I'll go into labor."

"I do not look forward to you going through the pain of labor, and I will do everything possible to be at your side when the time arrives," he rubbed her belly.

"Good morning, love birds," Dr. McCoy suddenly appeared outside their cell. "Nurse Johnson notified me of your little trouble with the ride home. How are we doing?"

"Waiting for the rest of the sedative to wear off, but otherwise fine," Catherine reported.

"No problems here," John added.

Dr. McCoy looked to the security guard who deactivated the security field. After the doctor entered their cell, the field was reactivated. Pulling out his medical equipment, he started scanning Catherine first. "Baby's fine," he smiled. "As you said, looks like your body just needs to finish metabolizing the sedative."

"Right, that's why I'm feeling a bit groggy," she agreed.

Dr. McCoy then scanned John and determined, "As expected, you're a finely tuned machine. Everything is just about back to your baseline. You're about as bad as that green-blooded hobgoblin."

"Commander Spock?" Catherine chuckled.

"Yeah," the doctor nodded and smiled.

"Do you by chance know what's in store for us next?" Catherine looked to both John and Dr. McCoy. "I was out cold when we got here."

"I'm about as much in the dark as you," John shrugged his shoulders. "An Admiral Harry Morrow greeted us upon arriving. He is to lead the board of inquiry, but that's all I know."

"Admiral Morrow let me know that sometime this morning, the two of you will be booked and processed," Dr. McCoy informed them. "I'll try to get more information from him to give you an update on the schedule they've set. Well, I better go and see how Jim is doing. Still in an induced coma, but making excellent progress. If anything changes with your health, they are to contact me immediately. I want to keep my eye on you," he smiled.

"Thank you for everything," Catherine smiled as he took his leave.

With Dr. McCoy gone, Catherine and John assumed a comfortable silence relishing in each other's company. Unsure of how much time had actually passed, a female officer suddenly approached their cell. "Excuse me," she shyly began, "I'm Commander Miranda Neal. It is time for you to be booked and processed. Please approach the field and stick your hands through the holes so I can cuff you."

John stood first to assist Catherine and to ensure that she would not lose her balance. She stood, and shaking her head to assure him she was fine, they complied with the officer's orders. She cuffed John first. As she was placing the shackles on Catherine's wrists, Catherine noted, "You're timid, but you're not afraid of us."

"They told me you're half-Betazoid," the woman noted. "No, I'm not afraid. I only recently returned from an assignment on one of our colony planets, so I am not entirely knowledgeable about what either of you did. You seem, however, to be a normal everyday couple, so it's hard for me to see what the hype is about." John and Catherine pulled their bound hands back inside the cell as a couple of armed security officers joined Commander Neal. She had the guard deactivate the barrier. "Come with me," she instructed them.

The group led John and Catherine to a room where some more officers were waiting. The armed officers left the room to wait outside. The room was mid-sized with little furniture, but it was well-lit. Other than Commander Neal, a handful of male and female officers were awaiting to begin the official proceedings. One of the other officers approached the couple, unbound them, and instructed, "I need you both to take off all of your clothes."

John turned to see Catherine's face turning bright red. "No, absolutely not!" he growled. "I will not have my wife treated like a common whore! I don't care about myself, but no man will ever see her nude without her or my consent."

"It's okay," Commander Neal held up her hand and motioned for the male personnel to leave. Once they were gone, she instructed the couple, "Go on."

John quickly undressed before assisting Catherine and pulling her close to him to help shield her body. He could feel the heat radiating off her face from her blushing. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"I'm going to have to take this," Commander Neal started to unclasp Catherine's necklace with the lapis lazuli pendant John had given her as a sign of his commitment to her.

"No!" Catherine swatted her hand and moved away from her. "Please, you can't!" she pleaded. "It's all I have of John's. We don't even have wedding rings!"

"I'm sorry, but it will be returned to you if you are released. Until then, we will keep it and your other personal items secure."

"Give it to her, Imzadi," John encouraged her. "It's alright."

"Fine, but only if you take it off," she huffed and turned to defiantly face the other women despite being nude so that John could unclasp it.

"Keep it safe," he handed the item to one of them.

"Come with me," Commander Neal led the couple to a corner with a small enclosure that contained a shower fixture. "Wash up quickly, get dried off, and put on these," she handed them towels and different clothes. "When you're done, come back out here."

As the couple showered, hot tears streamed down Catherine's face mixing in with the hot water streaming from the shower head. She was upset not with being forced to strip nude but with having her necklace taken away from her. She turned slightly away from John and wiped off her face hoping that he would not notice her crying.

" _Imzadi,"_  he gently put his hand on her shoulder.

" _I should know better than to try to hide my emotions from you,"_  she turned to face him.

John cupped her cheeks and passionately kissed her briefly.  _"I know it is of sentimental value to you, but you do not really need the necklace. You still have me,"_ he did his best to flash her a cheesy grin. To his relief, it worked causing her to crack a smile.  _"Besides, thanks to your Betazoid heritage and psionic abilities, we have something even better than a cheap token declaring our love for each other. We have this,"_ he kissed her forehead,  _"a precious bond that no one can break."_

She smiled wider and nodded her head in agreement before returning to the task at hand. As instructed, they dressed in the simple, black clothing they were provided, which to John's relief had no Starfleet markings on them, and returned to the main area of the room where the staff finished processing and booking them.

"Lieutenant, I'm going to take you back to your cell, and Admiral Morrow wants to meet with you, Commander Harrison," Commander Neal explained as she once again bound the couple with their shackles.

" _I'll be okay,"_ Catherine gave John a reassuring nod before being led out of the room back to her cell. "You were just doing your job," she commented to Commander Neal once they reached her and John's cell. "I know it's standard procedure for processing criminals of such a high-caliber like us," she sighed. "We're not exactly petty thieves."

"Again, I am not up to speed on your supposed crimes, but I hope everything turns out alright. As I said, you don't seem to be dangerous people. I hope we did not make you feel too uncomfortable."

"Look at it this way, you ladies got a nice eyeful of what I'm lucky to sleep next to every night," Catherine teased.

"He is gorgeous," she blushed. "Good luck to you both. Oh, and I almost forgot. There are a couple of visitors here to see you. I'll go tell the guards to admit them," she took her leave.

After a short wait, a middle-aged man and woman came walking down the hall towards the cell. "Mum, Dad," Catherine gasped upon recognizing them

"Oh sweetie," Kestra frowned seeing her only daughter imprisoned.

"I'm so sorry," tears started to stream down Catherine's face as she looked at them from behind the glass-like security field of her cell. "You must be completely ashamed of me."

"Little one, it's all right. I do not know the entire story, but I do not believe you could possibly have done everything that they are charging against you," Kestra put her hand on the glass. "I wish I could hug you," she started to cry as well.

"More importantly, are you alright?" her father asked. "You've been through hell."

"Emotionally, I am understandably having a rough time, but otherwise overall, yes, we are just fine. Including the baby," she rubbed her baby bump, which was really starting to become noticeable.

"Do you love him?" Kestra asked wiping the tears from her cheeks.

"With all my heart and soul," Catherine smiled weakly as the doors at the end of the hallway swooshed open revealing a security detachment leading John back to their shared cell.

"Stand back please," the lead security officer ordered her parents. Kestra shuddered slightly as John looked at her coldly as he did not know who she was.

"John," Catherine rushed to him and embraced him, "what did they do to you?"

"Nothing, love. Admiral Morrow just had some questions for me," he squeezed her tightly and placed a kiss on her forehead. "It's alright, I'm here now. How are you feeling?"

"I feel fine," she nuzzled into his chest briefly. "I want you to meet my parents," she pulled away and took his hand leading him back to the front of their cell. "Mum, Dad, this is John Harrison, my husband. John, this is my mother Kestra and my father Dylan," she introduced them.

"Mr. and Mrs. Troi, I am sorry that I have dragged your daughter into this mess. She has been nothing but an angel. She does not deserve anything that has befallen her because of me. I sometimes think that for her sake it would have been better if we had not met," he frowned.

"John, don't you ever say that again!" Catherine scolded him. "I'd rather die than live a lifetime without you."

"One cannot help whom one loves, even despite their faults and inadequacies whether they be true or only perceived!" Dylan interrupted much to Catherine and Kestra's surprise as he usually was soft-spoken and Kestra was the more dominant one of the pair. "Son, I do not think anything you could have done would have prevented Catherine from loving you. And from what I've learned from Janice Rand, your current situation is not your fault. Now, all the two of you can do is to make the best of your state of affairs, and most importantly, stand by and love each other."

"Imzadi," Kestra glowed at her husband with tears in her eyes, "you have reminded me what made me fall in love with you."

"When I married you, John, I vowed to stand by you no matter what. I refuse to break that vow. We will survive this just as you survived the death of your mother, the Eugenics Wars, your exile on the  _Botany Bay_ , and Admiral Marcus' tyranny. And in the end, we will come out stronger. Besides, together, we are better."

"At everything," he squeezed her hand cracking a small smile.

"John, sweetheart, do you have any family?" Kestra asked.

"I did not have a father. My mother, Dr. Sarina Kaur, was a geneticist on the eugenics project that produced me. She carried me and gave birth to me as a surrogate, but she was as much a mother to me as if I was her own biological son. I lost her in a lab accident as a child along with my baby brother Amit," he frowned.

"I'm so sorry," Kestra frowned sensing the depth of his grief.

"I have a little sister, Katrina, that did survive. She and her son Luca are in cryostasis at the moment. It is my hope that someday they can be reanimated and join me again as well as my other comrades whom I also considered to be family."

"I know it's not the same, but Dylan and I would be honored if you wished for us to act as your parents," she smiled.

"I don't now what to say," he gasped. "Thank you."

"You're terrified at the thought of becoming a father, no?" she winked.

"Well, if you're anything like Catherine, it'd be pointless to try to lie to you," he smiled and blushed.

"Welcome to my life," Dylan laughed causing Kestra to glare at him. "Don't worry, lad. I'm sure you will do just fine. If you ever have questions or need anything, never be afraid to ask."

"Time's up," one of the security officers interrupted the family reunion. "I'm sorry, but you can come back tomorrow."

The group said their goodbyes, and John and Catherine sat down on the bench in their cell. "John, what's wrong? Your emotions are all over the place. I can't sort out what you're feeling," she took his hand.

"I have parents," he sniffled slightly with a look of confusion on his face. "Parents that love you despite what you've done. And although they might very well lose you, despite everything and possibly ruining your life, the life of their only child, they love me, too. I have a mum and dad," he struggled to hold back his tears.

"Oh, love," she hugged him tightly and kissed his cheek. "Has it been worth it?"

"Of what do you speak?"

"Everything you have lost, your mother and brother, your power and wealth, your freedom even, has it all been worth losing them to gain my parents and me?"

"While no one could ever replace my mother or Amit, the other things, the things that came from being Khan, were worth losing to gain you. Power and wealth corrupt, but beauty, grace, and love purify and improve. Up until the point you entered my life, I was arrogant and bent on finding a way to free and reanimate my family so we could subdue humanity due to its ineptitude and lack of progress while we were asleep."

"I helped to change your mind?"

"Yes," he smiled.

"What did Admiral Morrow ask you?"

"Oh, just some basic questions about my identity. He wanted to keep things brief as they are planning to have Commander Spock start performing mind melds on us tomorrow."

"And that concerns you," she sensed him feeling uncomfortable.

"While I know I have nothing to hide, I just do not like the idea of feeling so vulnerable and having my privacy invaded," he confessed.

John curled up on the bench putting his head in Catherine's lap.  _"Imzadi, shh, it will be fine,"_ she started to gently stroke his hair before he rolled onto his back to be able to look at her.

"I hope so," he sighed as she continued to gently stroke his forehead pushing the hair back that had fallen into his face.

"You know, it's a shame," she thought aloud.

"What is?"

"The  _Vengeance_. She in some ways reflected her creator."

"You mean she was deadly and took the lives of many innocents," he sighed.

"That's not what I meant, John," she frowned. "She was beautiful, sleek but strong."

"You really think so?" he asked.

"Yes," she nodded. "Would you have named her something different if you hade created her under different circumstances?"

"The  _Dauntless_."

"It's fitting," she smiled. "Still, it's a shame, and I hadn't thought about it really at the time given the severity of the situation."

"Thought of what?" he asked sitting up again beside her.

"You looked amazing sitting in that captain's chair," she took his hand and held it in her lap. "It suited you."

"You really think so?"

" _Absolutely, thinking about it right now, if I was there then, I would have had you right there on that captain's chair begging for mercy."_

" _Me, begging for mercy?"_

" _Oh yes, many times over!"_

" _In front of the others?"_ he felt embarrassed at the thought of being so defenseless in a moment of passion in front of other people let alone people who were practically strangers to them.

" _Despite the fact that Captain Kirk probably would have enjoyed watching or even taking part in said activities, no, I would have had you put them in the brig before having my way with you."_

" _I wish I could have my way with you now,"_  John frowned as he put his head on her shoulder.

" _I know. I long to feel your touch,"_  she lifted his hand to her lips kissing it.

" _It feels good to be wanted,"_  he sat up and grinned.  _"You know, you looked absolutely stunning in that shower earlier. I don't know how I was able to keep control of myself."_

" _Ugh, I just hope I don't get fatter from this pregnancy."_

" _You are not and never have been fat,"_ he scolded her.  _"You fit the classical definition of beauty. You are deliciously curvaceous, and that's the way I like it. You're athletic but plump in all the right places,"_  he ran his hand down her side.  _"Perfect hourglass."_

" _You're being such a flirt, but I love you for it,"_ she smiled.  _"Let's get something to eat before things get out of hand."_

" _Good idea,"_  he smirked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And for the little treat: "I really relished it though. They gave me a complex enough and interesting enough character arch to draw something out that was very, well, super human I guess. Everyone said, 'He's so cold. He's such a machine.' Well not really. He has super emotions as well. He's super angry. He gets super upset. He can't get super happy, but maybe that might be reserved for the musical version. Khan the Musical!" - Benedict Cumberbatch
> 
> Nice to know the actor feels the same way about the character's humanity. :) That would make one interesting musical, haha...
> 
> Anyways, for the next chapter, more reunions and time with Spock coming up.


	30. Nice to Meld You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you beloved followers and reviewers for your patience. I hope your waiting on me is worth it!
> 
> Listening track selections: "Meld-Merized" by Michael Giacchino, "Spock" by James Horner

John sat down next to Catherine on the bench inside their cell pausing to watch her as she took a bite out of a slice of a sandwich. Feeling comforted in that she had an appetite and was eating well at the moment, he himself began working on a bowl of pasta with chicken that he had just retrieved from the replicator.

"Pasta?" she turned and arched a brow noting his meal selection.

"Yes. I'm not allowed to eat it?" he chuckled.

"Of course you are. I'm just surprised. You usually select Indian dishes."

"I'm a well-rounded, cultivated man of the world, my dear. Although I prefer the cuisine of the people of the country in which I was raised, I do enjoy dishes from many cultures."

"You're just full of surprises," she smiled before continuing to eat her sandwich.

"I'm beyond pleased to see that your appetite has improved. You've had me worried for quite some time now in regards to your health. Looking back, though, between the pregnancy and all the anxiety you've been experiencing, it only makes sense that you did not want to eat lest you be sick."

"You're right, you know," she reflected after swallowing the bite that she was chewing. "I am feeling much better. I'm sure the stress we were under only made things worse in regards to my nausea and vomiting from the pregnancy. And while, yes, I am very much concerned about our upcoming trial and the outcomes, right now I feel a sense of peace. Perhaps it helps knowing that my parents are not angry with me, that they love and support us, and that no matter what happens, I will be at your side."

"I wish that I could admit to feeling the same sense of ease as you," he sighed as he twirled some pasta around his fork.

As they resumed eating their meal, Catherine sat quietly admiring him in that he was willing to acknowledge his fears. Once they were both finished, she could not help but to try to get him to discuss his concerns so that she could attempt to reassure and comfort him.

"What worries you so much about the mind meld?" she gently put her hand on his back.

"While I know that it is obviously going to be very beneficial in providing support for our defense, from what I know about the process, it is very intimate."

"And, as it is, it takes a lot for you to trust someone enough to open up to them let alone be intimate with them."

"I've always been a rather private person. When you never know who might be out to ruin your reputation or possibly even assassinate you, you tend to limit with whom you share the most intimate details of your life," he explained.

"While I do not think Commander Spock is out to assassinate you," she smiled stroking his back, "I can understand your trepidation. It took you a while to open up to me, but once you were ready, you were quite willing."

"Trust me, I wanted nothing more than to share all of myself with you much sooner than I actually did, but between the eel larva, Marcus' threats, and not knowing who I could trust, I was delayed in coming around to you."

"I am honored that you chose to be my Imzadi. Realizing now how guarded you truly are with others, it was a risk for you to choose to enter into such an intimate relationship with me, sharing not only your body and heart but also your mind and very soul."

"It's because I love and trust you, Catherine. Our love made me crave to share myself with you in every way possible," he tenderly tucked some loose hair behind her ear.

"I don't know if they will allow it or not, but if they gave me permission, would you want me to accompany you during your mind meld sessions with Commander Spock? From what I know, humans usually tolerate mind melds rather well, but given your heightened sensitivity and emotions as an Augment, I don't know how well you will do. I won't be able to communicate with you telepathically, but I will be able to sense if the mind meld becomes too overwhelming for you. It may be very difficult on Spock as well."

"Given the varying factors as I am an Augment and Spock is only half-Vulcan, perhaps it would be wise of them to allow you to observe us in the event that things spiral out of control. What about you? Who will look out on your behalf?"

"I'm not overly concerned about him performing a mind meld on me. I expect my psionic abilities to facilitate the mind meld process making it easier than it would be if I were only human. It's kind of funny," she noted pursing her lips.

"And what do you find amusing?"

"Like you, I've always been a rather private person, but even more than that, I've always been notoriously shy. While becoming a nurse helped to get me out of my shell a bit, you've made me bold. So, in regards to the mind meld, I feel like I have nothing to hide."

"Well, I hope you don't reveal too much. I'm a dominant and possessive man, Catherine. There are some things I want to keep all to myself," he smirked mischievously causing her to grin and blush slightly in return.

Glad to both see and sense that John was feeling more relaxed in regards to the upcoming mind meld sessions, Catherine took his empty pasta bowl and fork putting them with her dishes in the refuse bin where they would be collected and recycled. She then sat next to him with a happy sigh and wrapped her arms around him nuzzling into his shoulder. "Now what do we do? Sit and wait? I'm going to get bored. There's only so much you can do to keep me entertained under these circumstances," she teased.

"I was informed that there are a selection of items that we can order from for recreation. Perhaps you would like a PADD to catch up on some reading?" he suggested.

"That would be perfect," she agreed as he untangled himself from her arms.

John got up and accessed a panel similar to the one that was used for the food replicator. Punching in her request on the control panel, a PADD soon appeared, and he handed it her. He sat back down next to her and closed his eyes to meditate and rest as she started up the device.

Catherine decided to try to catch up on the news. The thought had not even crossed her mind that she and John would be a front page story, so when she loaded one of the local newspapers and saw a picture of John carrying her into the building where they were currently housed featured prominently with a scandalous headline taking up the cover page, she felt broadsided. After skimming the article, her curiosity was stirred, and she began reading articles from other sources and personal blogs to see what they said about her and John. Finally, feeling enraged with what she read, she threw the PADD across the cell in the manner of a Frisbee. The PADD slammed into the wall and fell the floor with a loud cracking sound drawing John out of his quiet reverie.

"What was that?" he opened his eyes and asked before turning to see Catherine bent over with her face in her hands. "What is it, Imzadi?" he leaned forward gently stroking the back of her head running his fingers through her hair.

"I don't want to talk about it," her voice quivered with anger.

Upon noting the PADD sitting on the floor across the room, John stood, picked it up, and skimmed an article on the device that was still legible despite the screen now being cracked. Sighing at knowing the cause of her distress, he knelt down in front of her tossing the PADD onto the bench beside her. "Catherine, you should not let the opinions of others upset you like this," he gently tried to pry her hands away from her face.

"I don't care what they say," she huffed indignantly through her hands and sniffled.

"Then why are you so disconcerted?" he asked running his hand through her hair to push it out of her face. "Please tell me," he pleaded kissing her on the forehead. "I want to make it better for you."

Catherine lifted her tear-stained face out of her hands. Wiping her cheeks with the back of her hands, she clenched her jaw slightly before rumbling, "I do not care what they think of you or me. I don't care if they think I'm a willing whore, a sex slave, or an easily persuaded and ignorant fool. I don't care if they think you're a psychopath, a domineering tyrant, or that you took advantage of me. I don't care about those things because I know they're not true. I am, however, enraged that they have formulated an opinion of us before even hearing our story. It's like they've already decided in their minds that we're some villainous intergalactic terrorists that deserve a maximum sentence for our supposed crimes. Those idiots have no idea not only what we've been through, but what our family might have gone through if we did not take action to protect them. It's just so stupid!" she threw up her hands. "I should have known better than to continue reading," she scolded herself.

"Then we will prove them wrong," he stated calmly and wiped a tear away that had just escaped her eye.

"Oh John," she gasped sensing him feeling a pang of pain, "what I'm feeling right now, it's exactly how you felt when you found out that you and your family were condemned to die for war crimes that you did not commit. When the people refused to hear the truth and turned on you, they had already decided in their hearts that you needed to die to make retribution for the blood that had been spilt. Yes, we will prove them wrong. We must not let what happened to you all those years ago happen again."

"Thankfully, not all of the people turned against us Augments. There were some who knew the truth and refused to believe what was said about us. If it were not for them, I would not be here now. Some of the human scientists risked their lives to put us in cryostasis and launch our ship. To this very day, I do not know their fate. If not for our sakes and the sake of our family, the truth will be heard for those dear, loyal people of mine that risked everything because they loved me, their leader. Whether you are present with me or not, I'm ready for the mind meld now," John vowed.

"While the first session is not set to take place until tomorrow, I am glad to hear that you are willing and eager to participate in the mind meld," the pair suddenly heard Spock quip from outside their cell.

"Mr. Spock, the mind of the  _Enterprise_. The fearless genius who ensures a calm force of intelligence guides their every mission. But look deeper and you will see an outsider who does not belong, a man of two worlds. This tears him apart, the constant battle between what he thinks and what he feels. What does he do? Does he follow his head, embracing logic and the path of reason? Or does he follow his heart, knowing the emotions he cannot control may destroy him?" John questioned.

"You are very insightful, Commander Harrison, or rather, Mr. Singh," Spock arched his pointed brow.

"Harrison will do," John grumbled. "What do you want?" he stood up and approached the security field to face Spock. Catherine got up and stood at John's side taking hold of his hand.

"I have come to prepare you for your first mind meld session tomorrow. It is good for you both to have an idea of what you may experience as there are risks," Spock explained.

"Go on then," John nodded.

"I will place my fingertips on key locations of your head to initiate the connection. If successful, our minds will essentially become one. I will then be able to probe your mind."

"And the risks?" Catherine asked.

"It can be physically debilitating for both participants," Spock began. "The pressure changes that take place in the vasculature of the brain may aggravate pre-existing medical conditions. If your minds prove to be powerful or dynamic, it may be hard for me to break the mind meld. Also, although you will not be able to probe my mind, once the mind meld is over, we will carry with us some knowledge of each other. Dr. McCoy will be present during all sessions to monitor us, and if needed, he can administer lexorin to you to treat any aftereffects."

"Commander, I do have some concerns," Catherine reported.

"Yes, Lieutenant Harrison," Spock acknowledged her.

"Being an Augment, John experiences heightened and much more intense emotions than the average human. My concern is that either you will be overwhelmed with his emotion or that he will be unable to cope with the probing done during the mind meld. If the board of inquiry is agreeable, I would like to be present to help monitor you both for this potential complication. While you are both connected, I will not be able to communicate with John telepathically, but I will be able to sense both of your emotions. Commander, you may also want to consider having someone who you trust with you for support as I expect this to be very taxing on you as well," she suggested.

"Your reasoning is logical," he agreed. "I will present your request to the board of inquiry and notify you both of their decision tomorrow morning prior to the first session. I will see you both at 0800. Until then, I believe there is someone here to see you. A Lieutenant Marla McGivers is here and reports that she wishes to speak on your behalf in your defense at the trial."

"Oh, excellent," Catherine smiled. "Marla is an expert on the Eugenics Wars. We were classmates at Starfleet Academy. She helped me to confirm John's identity," she explained.

"Very well, I will have security admit her," Spock turned and left.

" _You don't like him very much, do you?"_ she smirked at John.

" _No, he irritates me. What was it that McCoy called him? A green-blooded hobgoblin?"_ he grinned.

" _Oh, behave,"_ she playfully hit him in the arm.

Soon enough, the red-haired historian approached their cell. "I'm glad to see you both safe and sound, although, I wish it were under better circumstances," she smiled sadly.

"Thank you for coming to our aid," John expressed his gratitude. "Like Catherine, you are a superior woman."

"I only hope that what I have to say helps to clear your names in regards to the present," she looked at Catherine, "and to the past," she looked at John.

The three began to thoroughly discuss the situation at hand and Marla's role in their defense at the upcoming trial. During the discussion, Admiral Morrow stopped by with a couple of security officers to escort John to another room for another session of questioning. Once the men were gone, Catherine and Marla sat down on the floor with the security field separating them.

"Something's bothering you, Marla. What is it? Did John or I say something wrong earlier?" Catherine asked sensing Marla's discomfort.

"If I tell you something, please don't be angry with me," Marla sighed.

"I won't make any promises, but go on," she smiled.

"I must admit that I find myself quite attracted to your husband," Marla frowned. "Do not worry, I would never attempt to seduce him, and I know he is neither interested in me nor would he ever be unfaithful to you. I just needed to get that off my chest especially since I'm going to be working closely with both of you during the course of your trial. I'm sorry if it offends you. Please don't hate me or mistrust me."

"Marla," Catherine giggled, "it's okay. He's an attractive person, and I don't only mean physically. He just has this charisma about him. I wonder if it helped him to gain followers during his reign as Khan."

"Oh, I'm sure it did," Marla agreed. "Anyways, it's good that you got to him before I did. I wouldn't have been very good for him. I have a bad habit of putting men of power and influence on a pedestal and seeing them as infallible. Alexander the Great, Flavius, Leif Erikson, Napoleon, and others of the sort, I love and admire them despite their historical reputations as men of force. Khan, or rather John, would have had me wrapped around his little finger, and I would have been ready and willing to do anything to help him accomplish his vendetta even if it meant helping him commit murder. Men of power are my weakness, and I would have encouraged him to go on a warpath to regain his power by being compliant with his every command. I don't know how, but your gentle nature tamed him and won him over."

"But Marla, I also was willing to kill to help him. He never asked it of me, but I told him on more than one occasion that I was willing to do it anyway. Actually, I did end up committing murder for him. I shot and killed a man with a phaser when we were caught transferring our family's cryotubes into John's photon torpedoes as we planned to smuggle them onto the  _Vengeance_. Who's to say things would have turned out much differently if you were in my place?"

"You didn't encourage him to act on his wrath though, did you?"

"No, between Marcus' goading him and the eel larva, John did that on his own," Catherine explained. "Anyways, Marla, he called you superior, which, for him, is the highest of compliments."

"I know, but compared to you and what you've gone through, I feel like nothing. I'm weak, and even if I had been in your place and he loved me, he would have no doubt exploited my feelings for him and my weakness to accomplish his vendetta. You're so strong, and between the balance of your love and strength, you both soothed and supported him."

"I am strong, but only because he helped to bring out the strength that I didn't know I had within me. Even then, I had a death wish after he left me. Marla, do not be so hard on yourself. There's no reason to get upset over what-ifs and could-have-beens," Catherine advised.

"I suppose you're right. Oh well, it's nice to know that he has found some happiness in his chaotic and troubled life," Marla smiled.

"In case you were wondering," Catherine smiled back, "John's far from perfect. Even I recently have been guilty of putting him on a pedestal, but I am learning everyday that he has his flaws. Granted, he does his best to hide them lest he shows weakness, but I always express my gratitude when he admits to them. Anyways, how much has Janice been able to tell you about our current situation?" she asked rubbing her abdomen.

"She pretty much told me everything that she knows. By the way, I owe you congratulations on your marriage and your pregnancy!" Marla beamed.

"Thank you, it's all happened rather quickly, but I'm happy. And I'm overjoyed that John is happy, too. He was so full of pain and sadness when we first met."

"I am happy for you both as well."

"Marla?"

"Yes, Catherine?"

"I know we were pretty competitive while we were at the academy, and I even recall us butting heads at times. Looking back on that now, it all seems so silly and childish. I'm sorry if I ever gave you a hard time or hurt you. Also, I just want to thank you for being my friend and helping John and me. We are so grateful, and I feel that your testimony is going to play a key role in assuring our salvation."

"Catherine, let's not worry about what happened in the past," Marla shook her head. "Besides, without our healthy competition, we would not have excelled as we did, and if that were the case, I may not have been much help to you now. Well, I'm experiencing a good case of jet lag. Will you be okay here alone until John gets back?"

"Oh, I'll be fine. I'm sure you're going to be quite busy in the near future. You go and get some rest."

"Alright, I'll be seeing you in the next couple days or so to continue planning and gathering information. I hope you have a good evening and night, and good luck with the mind melds tomorrow," Marla got up off the floor.

"Thanks, good night," Catherine also got up and bid her friend farewell.

Once Marla was gone, Catherine got herself a cup of Earl Grey from the replicator and settled down on the bench. Not sure what else to do with her time by herself, she picked up the cracked PADD and decided she would try to do some actual reading and stay away from the news and tabloids. Choosing to do some lighter reading, she pulled up one of her favorite books from her time before leaving for Starfleet,  _Anne of Green Gables._  Losing herself quickly in the digital pages of the book, she smiled and wondered if life really was simpler then than it was now. Pausing staring mindlessly at the PADD, she wondered what it was like to live during John's era.

"What are you thinking about?" John asked standing in front of her.

"Oh," she laughed. "I didn't even realize you were back," she put the PADD in her lap and made room for him to sit beside her. "I was wondering what it was like to live during your time period."

"I see." He picked up the PADD to see what she was reading, " _Anne of Green Gables._  Kati loves that series," he smiled.

"Is there anything you miss from your time? Outside of your family, of course," she tenderly put her hand on his thigh.

"Actually, I miss driving. Don't get me wrong, I love the new modes of transportation available, but there's nothing like driving a good car with the wind blowing through your hair," he smiled fondly recalling one his favorite pastimes before his responsibility as Khan was thrust upon him.

"Some people still have cars, but they are considered antiques now. If we ever get out of here and can find someone who would let you drive one around for a little while, I'd love for you to, what's the phrase, take me for a spin?"

"Yes, that's it," he chuckled.

The couple decided to try to find something to keep their minds off of things and ended up engaging in several games of 3D chess taking breaks only to stretch and eat. Catherine urged John not to just let her win, and he complied knowing she would be able to tell if he was deceiving her or not. To her surprise, she won twice, and of course, he heaped his praises upon her bringing a smile to her face. As the day wore onwards and evening approached its end, he noted her growing tired and insisted on them turning in for the night. To his relief, she readily agreed as she also sensed that he was tired emotionally and mentally.

After preparing for bed, Catherine lay on the bench up against the wall. John dimmed the lights in their cell and joined her facing her and wrapping his arms around her. Pulling her close, he whispered to her in the dark:

"Doubt thou the stars are fire;  
Doubt that the sun doth move;  
Doubt truth to be a liar;  
But never doubt I love."

"Shakespeare?" she asked sleepily.

"Yes,  _Hamlet_ ," he answered.

"I love you, too," she leaned over and kissed him quickly on the lips before they drifted asleep.

As morning approached, Catherine awoke finding John fully awake and staring at the ceiling. Knowing that he was troubled in regards to their upcoming mind melds, she knowingly snuggled up next to him putting her arm around him and her head on his chest before falling back asleep for a few more minutes. Once it was time to get up and ready for the day, John gently nudged her to wake her again. "We should get up and prepare ourselves," he said quietly as he stroked her hair.

"You're right," she sat up and stretched as he rubbed her lower back. "I'm going to get a quick shower. Care to join me?" she turned and asked him.

"Sure," he agreed. Setting up the privacy screen, John pulled her behind it with him before they started to undress and started the water running. " _So beautiful,_ " he paused admiring her nude form tenderly stroking her cheek before they slipped under the hot stream of water. Quickly washing, they got dried off, performed other various morning tasks, and dressed again before reemerging from behind the screen. John sighed to himself recalling her beautiful form and feeling cheated on not being able to have his way with his own wife.

"Are you hungry?" she asked as she got herself some breakfast.

"Not really, so something light will do just fine."

The couple quietly ate their meal together preparing themselves mentally for what they were to experience that day. As they finished eating, at exactly 0800, true to his word, Spock stood outside their cell. "Good, I see that you are both prepared for our sessions today," he commented.

"Did the board of inquiry make a decision on my accompanying John during his mind meld session with you?" Catherine asked standing and walking to towards Spock.

"Yes, they did. I was easily able to convince them that it is only prudent and logical for you to be present. They were agreeable to you joining us, and he will be permitted to stay in the room during your session as well," he reported.

"Good," she cracked a smile as John joined her.

"If you are both ready, I will escort you to the room where the sessions are to be held."

"John?" she turned and asked him while taking his hand.

"I'm ready," John nodded.

Spock signaled for the armed security officers who were waiting down the hall to join him before disengaging the security field. The couple was once again bound at the wrists with handcuffs before being led through a series of white corridors to a large room where a panel of Starfleet brass including Admiral Morrow was seated. Dr. McCoy stood to the side with his medical equipment as well as a clerk who was charged with recording the proceedings so that they could be presented in the trial.

"Good morning, Commander and Lieutenant Harrison," Admiral Morrow smiled kindly. "I hope you slept well, and thank you both for voluntarily undergoing these proceedings. I trust that Commander Spock thoroughly informed you what will take place as well as the risks involved."

"Yes," Catherine said as John nodded in agreement.

"Do either of you have any questions or concerns before we begin?"

John looked to Catherine who shook her head before he replied, "No, but thank you for allowing us to be in the room together."

"Well, you have Commander Spock to thank for that," the admiral smiled again. "Would either of you prefer to go first?"

"I'll go first," Catherine boldly stepped forward.

"Very well, please have a seat," Morrow motioned to a pair of chairs facing each other. Catherine sat in one while John was led to a seat on the side of the room. Spock sat across from her while Dr. McCoy began scanning them both. "Once Dr. McCoy finishes and Commander Spock's chosen companion arrives to support him, we'll begin. Ah, there she is now," the admiral noted as Lieutenant Uhura walked into the room.

"Good morning," Uhura smiled shyly before taking a seat not far from Spock.

"You both are registering at baseline in regards to your vital signs, so I think we are good to go," Dr. McCoy reported as he finished his scans. "I'll be doing periodic checks on both of you throughout the session."

"If everyone is ready, let's begin," Admiral Morrow directed.

Spock leaned forward gently placing his fingertips to Catherine's face before reciting, "My mind to your mind. My thoughts to your thoughts."

Looking to the clerk to ensure that she was recording the session, Admiral Morrow then started by asking the first question. "What is your full name?"

In unison, Spock and Catherine answered, "Lieutenant Catherine Mae Singh Harrison née Troi."

The panelists then each took turns asking various questions to confirm her identity and background before delving into questions about her time shortly prior to and during her being involved with Section 31. Through Spock's link, she and Spock thoroughly recounted in detail everything she was told by Admiral Marcus and the events that transpired while she was under his command. As expected, the panel soon began to ask questions about her relationship with John and if she knowingly had any involvement in his attacks on Starfleet in London and San Francisco. Suspecting things to become emotional, Dr. McCoy started to increase the frequency with which he scanned the pair involved in the mind meld.

As Spock and Catherine together told of the pain and danger involved in her relationship with John, Uhura found herself occasionally dabbing tears off of her cheeks. Across the room, John sat with his eyes closed doing his best to remain stone-faced while he listened to his beloved recall in detail the dark hell they experienced under Marcus' tyranny.

Looking to the other panelists to see if they had any further questions and seeing that they were satisfied with the results of the mind meld, Admiral Morrow decided that it was time for Spock to sever the link between him and Catherine. "Commander, you may complete the mind meld," he advised him.

Upon pulling his hand away severing their link, Spock sighed with fatigue as Catherine broke down in tears putting her hands over her eyes. Dr. McCoy rushed to her side, "It's alright, Catherine. It's all over."

"I'll be fine," she wiped her face off and took a deep breath. "It's just a little much re-experiencing it all over again in a matter of a couple of hours like that."

"I'll go ahead and give you a prophylactic dose of lexorin just to be sure," Dr. McCoy explained before injecting the medication into her arm through the fabric of her shirt. He then scanned her to ensure her vital signs were within normal limits. Satisfied that she was in good health, he then proceeded to scan Spock and also found him in good condition.

"We'll take a fifteen minute recess before continuing," Admiral Morrow announced.

Dr. McCoy helped Catherine out of her chair and escorted her over to where John was sitting. "I'll get you some water to drink," he told them as she took a seat by John.

"Are you okay?" John asked reaching over to take her hand.

"Yes, I'll be okay. Emotionally, it is going to be hard, but the actual mind meld itself is not bad. I'll be here, though, to make sure things go as smoothly as possible for you," she reassured him.

After everyone had refreshed themselves, the panel had John take his place across from Spock in the seat once occupied by Catherine, and once it was confirmed that everyone involved was ready, Spock placed his fingertips on John's face just as he had with her. Speaking the same recitation as before, he initiated the mind meld, and the panel began asking questions.

Just as they started with Catherine, they first asked him for his full name to which he and Spock replied, "I was born John Noonien Singh, was later given the title of Khan, and then took on the surname of Harrison."

The panel then started to query him about his origins, his reign as Khan, and the timeline of events after Admiral Marcus reanimated him. On more than one occasion, several gasps were heard from other people in the room including the panelists as he recalled various events from his tumultuous life. By the end, more than just Uhura found themselves dabbing tears from their eyes.

Admiral Morrow concluded the proceedings for the day, and Dr. McCoy moved in to start scanning John and Spock. Despite the strain, John managed to maintain his composure, but he noted that Spock looked genuinely fatigued and even saddened by his encounter with him. With Uhura moving to Spock's side to comfort him, Spock looked at John unsure of what to think of what he had learned from his link with him. Meanwhile, Dr. McCoy motioned for Catherine to come to John's side.

"Take a deep breath," Catherine leaned over and whispered in John's ear as she began to massage his neck to ease his tension.

"Can someone take us back to our cell now?" he asked with obvious agitation in his voice.

Admiral Morrow motioned for the armed security officers to go ahead and escort the couple back to their cell. John walked quickly causing Catherine and the officers to struggle to keep up with his pace. Once they were back in their cell and had their shackles removed, John paced the room perseverating over the day's events.

"John," Catherine said his name pleadingly. "I'm sorry. I should've told them to stop."

"There was no need to do that," he huffed walking past her. "I was handling it just fine!"

"Then what is wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," he rumbled as he continued to pace.

"Then just stop!" she snapped. "Just stop," she quietly begged stepping in front of him in his path and wrapping her arms around him.

John slumped ever so slightly resting his head on her shoulder. "It's just frustrating and exhausting feeling so exposed like that," he explained his voice cracking. "I just hope that it helps."

"It will, Imzadi," she rubbed his back. "Many in the room were in tears. Even Spock looked like he was ready to shed a tear. Let's get something to eat. We missed lunch a good while ago. You will feel better after having a good meal."

John reluctantly agreed and sat on the bench while Catherine got something for them both to eat. "How are you feeling?" he asked as she joined him.

"Emotionally, I'm feeling better than I did earlier. Physically, I feel good. I'm grateful to be feeling well," she smiled.

"I am glad that you are well, also," he managed to smile.

"Once we're done eating, I think I'm going to get another shower to wash away the blues. Then, how would you like a proper shoulder massage?"

"That would be perfect," he agreed.

Upon finishing their meal, Catherine repeated the process she noted John perform that morning and started her shower. As she showered, although the frosted privacy barrier shielded her from prying eyes outside their cell, John could easily make out her silhouette. Finding himself longing to see her nude form once again, he scooted down towards the end of the bench to try to catch a view of her from behind as she showered. He felt a twinge of desire inside as his efforts were rewarded discovering himself with a wide-open view of her wet body. Briefly admiring her curves and her swelling abdomen ever-growing with their child within her womb, he found himself breaking into a sweat as she bent over ever so slightly to wash her legs and feet. Realizing that he was quickly losing control of himself, he glided back down the bench, sat back, and closed his eyes to meditate in hopes of quelling his arousal.

Unbeknownst that she had a voyeur, Catherine finished rinsing the soap off her body, squeezed the excess water out of her curls, and turned off the water. Quickly drying off and getting dressed, she walked out finding John sitting with his eyes shut, sweat pouring down his face. She could tell he was in deep thought, but she found that she could not sense exactly what he was feeling. She quietly made her way closer and noted that he appeared to be in pain and was full of some kind of buzzing energy. As she reached out and gently placed her hand on his shoulder, she quietly asked, "John, what's wrong?"

With her touch and her question, he jumped opening his eyes and pulled away being startled as a bead of sweat dripped off his nose. He closed his eyes again trying to return to his meditative state as he rumbled deeply, "I peeked."

"What?" she looked at him puzzled.

"I peeked! I stole a glimpse of you. Look what state I'm in now, and there's nothing I can do about it," he sighed trying to maintain focus while opening his eyes again.

"Oh," she looked down to his crotch and noted his obvious arousal. Sitting next to him but keeping a respectable distance, she now noted that he was faintly shaking as well. "Can I touch you?" she held out her hand.

"Yes," he nodded.

Gently taking his large hand into both of her own, she kissed his knuckles briefly before interlacing her fingers with his and squeezing his hand tightly. "Take a deep breath, count to ten, and then focus on my voice in your mind," she instructed. John complied with her directions.  _"Do you trust me?"_

" _Always, Imzadi,"_  he answered as he trembled.

Comfortable that she had his full attention and was submissive to her leadings, she began to telepathically tell him in explicit detail all the things she would do to him right then and there if she could.  _"I would make love to you over and over to you, John, until I had you screaming my name."_

After about five minutes of what was essentially telepathic sex, John let out a deep groan before sighing contentedly as he felt his release. He leaned over and whispered, "Thank you," in her ear before kissing her gently on the cheek and leaning his forehead on her shoulder. She reached over and stroked his hair a bit before he pulled away and explained, "I best get a shower and put on clean clothes."

"If you're still up for it, I'll give you that massage I promised you earlier," she offered.

"Oh, I'm still up for it," he managed to crack a smile.

Returning from his own shower with clean clothes, John sat down on the floor in front of the bench so that Catherine had easy access to his shoulders. "You're so full of tension," she noted as she worked on the knots in his muscles. "How does that feel?"

"Heavenly," he sighed happily. "Don't stop."

"I'm sorry, love. I now have a much better appreciation for the control you must have over yourself with me," she frowned.

"It's not your fault," he reached back and patted her hand briefly. "It's in my very blood and DNA to react like that to you. Sometimes, just the your scent is enough to drive me mad."

Leaning forward and wrapping her arms around him resting her hands on his chest, she put her head on top of his and reminded him, "I love you. Thank you for looking out for my well-being."

"I love you, too."

"Umm, excuse me," a woman's voice came from the corridor outside their cell.

"Uhura?" Catherine lifted her head noting the communications officer looking at them.

"I'm sorry. I should come back later," Uhura went to leave.

"No, what is it? Is something wrong?"

"After what I've learned about you both today, I wanted to see if there was something I could do to help. I pulled some strings, and if you are both agreeable to it, I've secured some accommodations that are just as secure as this one but they would provide you with, well, more privacy," she reported.

John got up off the floor and approached the young woman. "I've done nothing but bring pain and chaos to the ones you love. Why would you want to help me?" he hissed.

"Because despite the popular opinion of most at the moment, you do feel. You're just as human as the rest of us, and you were the victim of many heinous crimes. Besides, after all, you did save my life on Kronos. If nothing else, I owe you for that," Uhura stood her ground.

"When can we be moved?" he asked.

"Right now if you want."

"Would this be to your liking?" he asked Catherine who readily nodded her head in agreement. "How will we know that this isn't some ploy to spy on us?" he became skeptical.

"Spock checked out the quarters personally. If anyone would find equipment used to spy on you, it would be him," Uhura reassured him.

"John, let's do it," Catherine squeezed his arm.  _"We can finally be together again. Spock can be trusted despite your reservations about him. I need you, and from what happened earlier, I know you need me."_

"We'll go," he conceded.  _"You're right. We do need each other, and since you mentioned that, I can't wait any longer,"_  he squeezed her hand and smiled.

" _Finally,"_ she sighed with relief.


	31. Reunification

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: *hides face* I've never written smut and wasn't exactly planning on it, but I feel like I owe it to poor John and Catherine. So, it just sort of happened... Hope it isn't horrible! Some fluff in this chapter, too.
> 
> Listening track selections: "Lovers" by Shigeru Umebayashi, "Wrapped in Your Arms" by Fireflight, and "Your Love Is a Song" by Switchfoot

Bound again in shackles, Catherine and John were led by Uhura and followed by security officers through the corridors.  _"I forgot to tell you yesterday that I passed by your friend Miss McGivers on the way back to our cell,"_ John reported to Catherine.  _"She smiled and greeted me, but she seemed uncomfortable."_

" _Oh, that's because she fancies you,"_ Catherine answered matter-of-factly.

" _Beg pardon?"_  he turned and looked at her with confusion written on his face.

" _She told me last night after Admiral Morrow took you away for questioning. She admitted to me that she is very attracted to you. Don't worry, John. She promised she wouldn't try to seduce you or anything,"_ she grinned and held back a laugh.

" _Good, because I would not have that at all. You're all that I need,"_  he looked at her tenderly.

" _I wouldn't share you anyway,"_  she teased bringing a small smile to his face.

After using a turbolift to reach a higher floor, they continued onwards until they met up with Spock who was standing outside a set of doors. "I see you were agreeable with changing your accommodations," he arched one of his pointed brows.

"Yes, some privacy would be nice for once," Catherine nodded. "Thank you for helping to arrange this for us."

"It was Nyota's suggestion," Spock glanced at Uhura with affection. "These quarters are as secure as your cell, and I have ensured that your privacy will not be violated. The quarters are usually used for holding high-ranking officials."

"Nothing ever changes," John sighed. "Even now those more rich or powerful than the common man get preferential treatment when it comes to punishment," he sneered.

"Do you want to stay here or not?" Spock asked.

"We'll stay," Catherine answered before shooting John a scolding glare.

"Very well," Spock nodded. "Nyota, please show Lieutenant Harrison the accommodations. I would like to have a brief word with the commander."

After Uhura took Catherine inside to show her their new temporary home and its features, the security officers separated and covered each end of the hallway to give John and Spock some space to speak. John spat, "Just because you had a front row seat to the details of my so-called dark and tragic life, I don't need your pity. I will not play the role of a victim."

"Whether you choose to admit to it or not, Commander Harrison, you both were victims of crime," Spock noted. "And you misunderstand our intentions if you believe we are helping you out of pity."

"Then why do you want to help us?"

"Simply because, whether you believe it or not, you deserve it. I am not one known to express my feelings well, but, as I am half-human, I do experience them. You saved not only the life of my captain, my friend, but also the life of my lover, Nyota. And for that, you will always have my gratitude. Also, today, if anything, I learned that we are both much more alike than what either of us previously realized. I, too, lost my mother under tragic circumstances," Spock found himself baring his soul to John.

"What happened?" John asked normally without the usual amount of bite that he usually used when speaking to Spock.

"I lost her in the destruction of Vulcan," Spock closed his eyes briefly in pain. "I tried to save her and failed. I will have to carry the pain of that memory and reality with me the rest of my life."

"Perhaps you are right, Mister Spock. We may have more in common than we wished to believe," John conceded with a frown thinking of his own mother.

"I will leave you to your wife now," Spock turned to walk away.

"Commander," John called after him.

"Yes?" Spock turned around.

"Thank you," he briefly stated before entering his new habitation.

"Do you have any questions?" Uhura was wrapping up showing Catherine the room.

"No, I think you covered everything. Thanks again," Catherine again expressed her gratitude as John joined her.

"I believe Dr. McCoy will be here around 0900 to check up on you and update you on his research. Spock said you will have the rest of the morning to yourselves, and then tomorrow afternoon, they will most likely resume their sessions of questioning both of you," Uhura explained before making her way to the door. She paused and turned back around, "Until today, neither Spock nor I really knew to what extent either of you had suffered at the hands of Admiral Marcus. I hope you are not punished for what was out of your control. I truly hope everything works out in your favor. Oh, and Commander Harrison?"

"Yes, Lieutenant Uhura?" he pulled Catherine close to his side.

"Thank you again for saving our lives on Kronos. I'm sorry that Jim was such an ass to you after you saved us like that," Uhura frowned.

"It's quite alright. He had his reasons. Have a good evening, lieutenant."

"You, too," she nodded. "Both of you," she cracked a small smile and left them alone.

"So, Spock and her," he looked to Catherine trying to find the appropriate term, "are they a thing?"

"A thing?" Catherine broke down laughing. "If you mean a couple, yes, they are."

"How does that even work?" John asked flabbergasted.

"Oh, and we have a lot of room to talk!" she poked him in the side playfully glad to see him relaxed for the first time in what felt like much too long. "Mister Nearly 300-Year-Old Superman Popsicle and Miss Preggo Half-Betazoid Cries A Lot."

"I was not a popsicle," he feigned pouting, "and you're just very hormonal right now."

"True, but it's not helping. Anyways, Uhura admitted that Spock drives her crazy sometimes. He really struggles with expressing his emotions and sharing them. In fact, she relayed to me that they had quite a spat prior to landing on Kronos."

"I suppose we've had our own little quarrels here and there," he reflected.

"I hate when we argue, but despite everything we've been through, our bond to each other has only grown stronger, don't you think?" Catherine faced him.

"Yes, I concur," John smiled and stroked her cheek before giving her a quick kiss. "Let's get comfortable and settled in our new flat," he suggested.

Catherine nodded in agreement and sat down on the bed to pull off her boots. "Isn't this carpet glorious?" she asked as she wriggled her toes feeling the fibers between them.

John chuckled, "Let me see," and sat down beside her to take his boots off as well. "Not bad," he stood up and walked around to feel the carpet under his own toes, "but it's nothing like what I had in my compound in India."

"Oh, I'm sure you had only the best at your disposal."

"I did have access to just about any luxury I wanted," he admitted, "but it felt so empty not having someone with whom I could share it. Also, I was often not home long enough to enjoy it myself. Catherine, if we get out of this mess, while I no longer have the power or riches that I once had all those years ago, I want to give you the best that I can manage to obtain. My Khanum, you deserve only the best."

Catherine sighed and stood before walking over to him. "My Khan, I already have the best," she explained taking his hands. "I have John Harrison, the bravest, wisest, most loving man I have ever met. I don't need power or things of luxury because, to me, I already have the most valuable thing in this galaxy. I have your heart," she let go of one of his hands and placed her small hand on his chest over his beating heart.

"What have I ever done to possibly deserve-"

"Oh, John, do shut up," Catherine interrupted him.

"What?" John furrowed his brow surprised and confused at her reaction.

"Don't ruin the moment. Just kiss me already!" she demanded.

Smiling and letting out a small snort trying to hold in his laughter at her orders, John complied and pressed his lips to hers gently. They soon enough embraced each other tightly and released the passion they had pent up for each other for weeks.

"John," Catherine eagerly pulled up on his shirt trying to get it off of him in order to feel his warm skin over his taut muscles. "Please!" she begged as she struggled to get the garment off of him.

"Imzadi," he stopped her putting his fingertip on her lips briefly before putting his hands on her arms. "Slow down. We are not a couple of animals in heat. I know it has been far too long, but I want us to go about this properly. Let me romance you."

"You won't hurt me or the baby if that is what you're worried about," she huffed with frustration and fought the urge to roll her eyes.

"While the thought did briefly cross my mind, I'm not concerned about it now as long as you let me take my time. Understand?"

"Okay," she compromised and sat on the side of the bed with another huff.

John took a seat beside her, and after kissing her neck in the spot he knew was the most sensitive, he whispered lustily in her ear, "Please do not be angry with me, love, and do try to be patient. I thought that I was bad off earlier in our cell, but you're always ever the eager one. I know you are already quite aroused. I can smell your scent. I can practically taste you."

Catherine gasped upon hearing his words, as this was a new side of him she never experienced before. "You do realize that last time we were together was New Years? I've no idea what the date is today, but it's been two and possibly almost three months," she panted. "And while I never had any complaints about you physically as a lover, from where are these words coming? You've never said anything like this before. You ask me to be patient, but your words are driving me crazy."

"Between the eel larva and fear of possibly offending you, I held much back during our brief time together. Now that my thinking is much clearer, our telepathic link is stronger, and I have a better understanding of what you like, I know I can share myself even more fully with you. That is, if you're willing to let me," he leaned in again and resumed kissing her neck.

"Oh, I'll let you," she sighed passionately. "Just let me, too. I know you like being the dominant one, but you've never let me explore giving you pleasure yet. It's something I've always wanted to do," she admitted as he pulled away from her neck.

"Of course, I'll let you," he smiled gently as he loosened her hair from its bonds allowing it to fall around her shoulders. Kissing her again tenderly on the lips, he leaned his forehead onto her own. "While, yes, I do enjoy being the dominant one, I will always consider you as an equal, my Khanum. Now, shall we begin?" he rumbled.

"Yes," she breathed heavily.

Catherine resumed trying to pull off his shirt but at a slower and less fevered pace than previously. This time, John raised his arms above his head allowing her to take if off of him. Successfully divesting him of his shirt and throwing it aside, Catherine ran the palms of her hands over his chest and leaned in to briefly kiss his collarbones before pulling her own shirt off and having it join his on the floor. She then stood up and shimmied out of her tight black pants leaving her in only in the black bra and panties with which she had been provided during their captivity.

John gazed at her appreciating once again her curves that he loved so much before motioning for her to come closer to him. He was still seated on the bed, and she took her place standing between his legs. He wrapped his arms around her pulling her close and kissing her baby bump. Remembering her concerns about her figure, he smiled into her skin before noting aloud, "You're more beautiful than ever, Imzadi. Pregnancy is quite becoming on you."

"Oh, John," she blushed slightly, "while I want to give you as many children as you want, I do hope that you do not plan on keeping me constantly barefoot and pregnant."

"Only if it is what you desire," he grinned before again kissing her stomach.

Reaching up behind her back, John unhooked her bra and slid it down her arms before discarding it on the floor. Although to him they were of ample size before, appreciating that her breasts now appeared slightly larger due to her pregnancy, he cupped them both before taking one of her nipples into his mouth causing her to gasp.

Sensing that he was going to pull away due to her response, Catherine grabbed the back of his head and held him against her. "Not painful, just a little more sensitive," she explained to reassure him he was not hurting her.

With her reassurance, John continued lavishing her breasts with attention as she stroked the back of his head encouraging his actions. As he continued, he moved his hands downward and began to push her panties off and down her legs. Finding himself successful, he felt between her legs, and as he noted before, she was quite aroused. "So wet," he breathed heavily into her chest as she let out a small moan from his touch.

"Let me have a turn," she looked down at him her eyes pleading.

After he nodded his head with approval, she knelt down stroked his obvious arousal through the fabric of his trousers before starting to undo the fastenings. Upon opening the front of his trousers, she was somewhat surprised when his erection freely sprang from between the layers of the fabric.

"I decided to refrain from wearing anything underneath after what happened earlier," he grinned mischievously down at her before lifting his behind so she could finish removing his trousers.

"Naughty," she giggled as she pulled them off the rest of the way. "Tell me if I'm hurting you," she requested before tentatively taking his erection into her small hand and stroking him lightly.

John let out a low groan causing her to pause her ministrations. "Don't stop. Do it harder," he advised her.

Catherine continued at his instruction as he snaked a hand into her hair pulling her head closer to him. As she got closer, she knowingly took his length into her mouth and swirled her tongue around the head of his penis tasting the small amount of pre-cum that was present at its slit. Using her free hand, she cupped his scrotum and gently massaged the heavy testicles it contained inside its wrinkled skin. Hearing him quietly vocalize his appreciation of her action, she continued until he suddenly bucked his hips and cried out her name as he came into her mouth and throat.

She swallowed and released him. After wiping her mouth on the back of her hand, she shyly asked, "Did I do okay? Was that good for you?"

"Come here," John helped her stand and had her sit on his knee. "That was splendid, and with practice, you will get even better," he smiled before pulling her close and kissing her. Between tasting himself on her lips and due to his quick recovery time as an Augment, he could already feel himself becoming aroused again. "Now it's my turn," he whispered in her ear. "Lay down on the bed," he patted beside him.

Nodding her head, Catherine complied and lay on the bed as he had indicated with her calves dangling off the side. John then knelt down on the floor between her legs, and wrapping his arms under and around her thighs, he pulled her down so that her bottom was just at the edge of the bed. Resting her legs at the crooks of her knees on his shoulders, he began kissing her inner thighs bringing about her usual mews of delight. "John," she sighed in pleasure as she tried to peer at him over her baby bump.

"I believe this was where we left off on the  _Enterprise_ ," he lifted his head so she could see him.

"I won't fall asleep this time. I promise," she grinned.

"Oh, you won't," he grinned back. "I'll make sure of it!"

John dipped his head back down between her legs kissing a trail up her inner thigh until he came to her hot, wet center. Remembering how sensitive her breasts were, he tentatively took his tongue and gently licked a trail between her dripping folds before stopping just before her throbbing bud. "Please, John," she gasped. "Don't stop!" she tried to reach down to pull his head closer to her, but finding herself unable to do that, she wrapped her calves around the back of his neck and pulled him inwards.

Reassured that she was not uncomfortable and needed his touch, John turned his full attention where he had just stopped and began lapping at her bud with his tongue. Although he could not see her face over her belly, he could tell she was holding back trying not to cry out in pleasure.  _"It's alright, Imzadi. Come for me. Call my name,"_  he encouraged her as he slipped a couple of his fingers inside her curling them upwards. He then began pumping away at her sweet spot in unison with flicking his tongue on her bud.

"Khan!" she panted loudly as she felt her release. "Oh, love," she sighed, "I need you. Now!" With her plea, John released her now limp legs from his shoulders, got off the floor, and helped pull her up on the bed to support so that her lower body was properly supported. He was about to climb on top of her when she put her hand to his chest stopping him. "No, you lay down," she gently pushed him aside and down onto the bed.

Complying with her request albeit a bit surprised at it, John settled his head onto one of the pillows as she climbed on top of him straddling his waist. She first leaned forward kissing him deeply now tasting her juices on his lips just as he had done earlier tasting his own ejaculate on her lips. She then sat up, and gently taking hold of his erection, she ran his tip between her wet folds and against her still throbbing bud eliciting a groan of satisfaction from him before centering him at her opening and sinking down on top of him taking his full length inside of her. After taking a moment to allow herself to adjust to his girth, she began rocking her hips.

Together they soon found their rhythm, and Catherine felt a sense of power and satisfaction at seeing her mighty John come undone beneath her and because of her. Sweat dripping down his brow, John reached up once again cupping her breasts gently teasing her nipples with his thumbs. Grinding into his pubic bone, Catherine soon found herself seeing stars as she reached her climax.

Not yet having found his own release and knowing he could easily tease her into coming again, John sat up, scooped her limp form in his arms, and helped her flip onto her back before settling between her legs and pressing his hardness back into her being careful not to put too much of his weight onto her abdomen out of fear of harming their growing child. Regaining her wits and the strength in her lower limbs, Catherine wrapped her legs around him urging him on as he began to thrust his hips. As she had done in the past, she began to express her appreciation for his actions through their telepathic link, and the only things that could be heard in the room was the sound of John kissing her neck, the occasional groan of pleasure from deep within his throat, and the sound of his heavy scrotum slapping against her bottom.

As John had predicted, Catherine again soon reached yet another climax clenching her core around his hard member. Giving in to his needs, John erratically thrust into her several more times before finding his own release moaning her name into her ear as he spilled his hot seed inside her. Breathing heavily, he went to pull out of her, but she clenched her legs tighter around him in an attempt to keep him close. Nodding his head knowingly, he then instead wrapped his arms around her and rolled them both onto their sides still joined despite the fact that his member was becoming flaccid again inside of her.

Catherine gently stroked his hair out of his face before kissing him affectionately. She fought back tears as she noted, "That was the best yet, my love. Thank you for allowing me to pleasure you." Despite her efforts, a tear escaped her eye rolling down the bridge of her nose before dripping onto the pillow.

"No, Catherine," John wiped away the wet trail her tear left behind with this thumb, "thank you."

"I think a post-coital nap is in order," she sighed sleepily.

"I wholeheartedly agree," he smiled. "Let me cover you lest you get a chill."

"Alright," she closed her eyes.

"Catherine?"

"Yes, John?"

"You'll have to release me first," he chuckled.

"Oh, right," she smiled as she untangled her legs from around his waist allowing him to pull out of her.

Climbing off the bed, John gently started pulling the duvet down as she lifted her body so he could shimmy it out from under her. Successfully freeing it from under her body, he got back into the bed next to her and pulled the duvet up over them both to keep warm. Wrapping his arms protectively around her, John gently kissed her forehead before they both fell fast asleep.

About an hour or so later, John awoke feeling Catherine stroking the skin on his chest with her fingertips. Yawning and stretching his arms above his head, he returned his arms to their original position wrapping them around her. Upon realizing he was awake, she looked up at him with her dark eyes. "Hello," she smiled.

"Hello," he smiled back as she settled her head back on his chest.

"You know, you're not perfect," she stated her warm breath brushing across the skin of his chest.

"Thank you for stating the obvious," he sighed. "You're just now realizing this?"

"I don't mean it in a negative way, John," she said as she squirmed out of his grip and leaned on her elbow. "Although an Augment, your body has its little imperfections, and I love them all."

"Oh?"

"Well, your skin is speckled with all these little freckles and moles," she started to explain as she traced his skin with her fingertip. "And somehow I never noticed that you have chest hair," she grinned.

"Oh," he looked down at his chest. "That would be because that aspect of my personal grooming has been neglected as of late."

"What? You mean to tell me that up until recently you've been shaving your chest?" she arched her brow.

"Yes," he replied looking at her a bit sheepishly.

"Don't do it anymore! I like you better like this," she smiled.

"While you're at it, what other imperfections of mine do you admire?" he smirked.

"Well, I've always found the dark pigmentation on the edge of your upper lip intriguing," she gently traced the curve of his Cupid's bow lips.

"Too much time spent tanning to fulfill my image as Khan," he explained. "Even my Augment body couldn't keep up with it, and I ended up with some sun damage."

"Perhaps my favorite thing about you is your eyes, John. All the different flecks of colors make them so unique and beautiful besides the fact that they sometimes change colors depending on your emotions. You have what is called heterochromia."

"Yes, while it can happen spontaneously in nature, the scientists working on the Chrysalis Project attributed it to my genetic engineering," he noted.

"Whatever the cause, they remind me of a nebula I saw one time," she recalled. "I'm sorry," she suddenly apologized.

"For what?"

"When I was speaking with Marla yesterday, I came to the realization that I often have put you on a pedestal and have at times had unrealistic expectations of you just because you're an Augment. If I have ever put undue pressure on you, or if you have ever felt like you have to be an example of perfection to suit me, please forgive me," she frowned.

"Catherine, there is nothing to forgive," John reassured her. "Why must you apologize so much?"

"I don't know why I'm always apologizing," she shook her head. "I suppose it goes back to my constant struggle with feeling inadequate."

"Why do you struggle with that? Did anyone ever make you feel inadequate?"

"I suppose some of it is my own fault. I've always been my own worst critic putting unnecessary pressure upon myself to excel at everything I do."

"But there's something else that happened," he looked her in the eyes knowingly.

"You see, around the time I reached puberty, I gained some extra weight despite eating a healthy diet and getting plenty of exercise. The doctors weren't concerned about it and told my parents and me that I would just grow into the weight during growth spurts, which I did, but I always felt so self-conscious about my weight ever since then. And, while I wasn't outright bullied about it, I still overheard enough insults made behind my back from my peers to feel hurt," she sighed.

"If I were there, I would've broken each and every one of their legs," he furrowed his brow hearing of her pain.

"Thank you," she grinned at his reaction. "But, yes, that's why even with you I fret over possibly failing you somehow and about my physical appearance."

"Well, love, please do not fret anymore. I do not want you worrying so much. It is not good for your health. If you wrong me somehow, I promise that I will just tell you."

"Really?"

"I swear it. I cannot even begin to imagine the anguish you must have felt after I left you wondering if it was something you had done to drive me away, so, never again will you experience that at my hands."

"I love you," Catherine smiled as she snuggled close to John.

"I love you, too," he whispered into her hair. "And you, too," he added gently rubbing her belly. Suddenly her stomach growled loudly.

"Oh dear," she laughed.

"You seem to have worked up quite an appetite," he joined in her laughter. "We did miss a meal earlier today."

"Let's get a quick shower," she looked up at him and winked. "Then we can get a bite to eat."

With her suggestion, John eagerly climbed out of bed, gathered their clothing that was strewn all over the floor, and carried the pile to their small bathroom where he then turned on the shower to let the water heat up. He returned to the bed and gently scooped Catherine into his arms causing her to giggle before carrying her to the bathroom. They started to wash each other but soon found themselves having sex again against the wall of the shower stall. Once they were both satiated, they finished washing each other, got dried off, and dressed. Both barefoot, John gently led her by the hand to the small table in their room and helped her onto one of the seats.

"What would you like to eat?" he asked as he knelt on one knee to speak to her at her level.

"Hmm," she thought. "I'm craving some pineapple, nice and cold."

"Pineapple it is," he smiled getting up to retrieve her requested dish. "Here you go," he placed the dish of fruit in front of her. He then sat across from her with a cold dish of kheer, Indian rice pudding.

"Oh, kheer is so yummy!" she beamed seeing his dish.

"I can share if you would like some," he offered.

"Well," she hesitated at first, but when he held a spoonful in front of her with a grin on his face, she couldn't resist. "Okay!"

She opened her mouth, and John carefully spooned the rice into her mouth. "How is it?"

"Simply amazing," she replied with her mouth full. "Want some of my pineapple?"

"Sure," he agreed.

Catherine stabbed a chunk of the sliced pineapple with her fork, and just as John did for her, she carefully fed him the piece of fruit. "Good?"

"Yes, it reminds me of home," he noted feeling slightly sentimental.

"I just realized something."

"What?" he asked before putting another spoonful of kheer into his mouth.

"I told you that I was craving pineapple."

"And?"

"I was having a craving, John. I wonder if this is going to be one of my pregnancy cravings."

"Which part? The sex, the pineapple, or the kheer," he teased.

"Good point," she blushed and brushed his foot with her toes before they continued eating their snack. "You know, if we're able to continue on like this, we're going to have to get creative when it comes to positioning," she announced suddenly.

John nearly choked on his kheer. "Positioning?"

"Well, my stomach is only going to get bigger, silly. You really won't be able to be on top all the time until after I give birth."

"Oh, I see what you mean. Well, my people are well-known for finding creative ways to make love."

"Have you ever read the  _Kama Sūtra_?"

"Should I even bother trying to lie to you?"

"No," she smiled sitting back and crossing her arms. "I can read you like a book. Pun intended."

"Yes, I read it as a teenager," he huffed and started stirring his spoon in his kheer. "As I've told you, our caretakers were grooming me to be a leader. Despite my superior intellect, as a somewhat horny teenager, I had this grandiose idea that being a leader meant that I would have many wives and concubines, so, I thought it was only logical to read it as it contained advice on how to handle so many women and keep them satisfied," he looked down at his kheer and turned bright red.

"Oh, John," she giggled. "Don't be embarrassed! I find it both adorable and endearing. Besides, as teenagers, we've all done silly things."

"Two can play at that game. What did you do?" he looked up at her and flashed her an impish grin.

"Well, I may have practiced kissing on my pillows," she found herself taking her turn in blushing.

"The practice was worth it."

"Really?"

"You are an excellent kisser, Catherine."

"You're the only man I've ever kissed. Well, you're the only man I've ever been with at all, so not that I would know otherwise, but John, you're the best."

"Thank you," he reached across the small table taking one of her hands. "Part of me wishes that I've only ever been with you," he frowned.

"No, John, it's okay," she patted his hand with her free hand. "I don't hold that against you. Really, I don't."

"I know, but I shared such an intimate part of myself with two other women, something I only want you to know."

"John, I'm half-Betazoid, and I sometimes think of Betazoids as being practically the hippies of the Alpha Quadrant, free love and all that," she laughed. "What you did with those women happened so long ago in such a confusing time of your life, how could I possibly be angry with you over that? Besides, what were their names?"

"Well," he paused racking his mind in an attempt to recall them, "I honestly cannot remember."

"Just what I thought," she smiled.

"I suppose they were rather quick and heated encounters," he noted.

"John, I did more than just kiss my pillows. I did plenty of self-discovery as well."

"You naughty girl," he rumbled. "Although, I've seen plenty of solo action myself."

"It's only normal, and with your heightened Augment libido, it's probably necessary to keep yourself sane."

"Ugh," he laughed and rubbed his eyes, "thank God Kirk can't hear us."

"Oh, John," she snorted. "Eat your kheer before it gets warm."

After the couple finished their snack occasionally sharing bites of their dishes with each other, they settled together on the small settee in their room. "I never expected captivity to be this kind to us after what we've been through," John noted. "I just hope this does not lull us into a false sense of security. The worst is still ahead of us. I'm not looking forward to our trial and having to face such a large room full of people feeling so exposed."

"I know. I'm not either. We'll just have to maintain a stiff upper lip and trust our friends to help defend us. We cannot show weakness or let the prosecutors get to us, but I just hope I can maintain my composure and stand my ground with my hormones raging," Catherine expressed her concern.

"Then we'll have to do our best to focus on each other and give each other strength. It has worked before, and it will help again."

"Right," she nodded. "So, have you had a chance to think of any names for the baby?" she asked changing the subject.

"I actually have several in mind, but as we discussed, I will not tell what the child is to be named until he or she is born," he smiled and gently patted her belly.

"Depending on the outcome of our trial, worst case scenario, I know we already discussed the possibility of my parents raising our child. I was thinking a bit. Would it be okay with you if I asked Janice if she could help them out as well? She is my best friend and the closest thing I have to a sister."

"Of course, Catherine," he consented.

"I truly hope it does not come to that. If anything, I desperately hope that I can meet Kati and Luca face-to-face someday."

"I hope for that, too. They will love you. As I've gotten to become even closer with you and know you better, I see there are some things that you and Kati have in common. She will enjoy having a sister-in-law to confide in and with whom she can do womanly activities. While they were never outright disrespectful due to the fact that she was my sister, many of the Augment women alienated her because she married a mere human. And because all she ever did was worry about and devote her attentions to Luca and me, she did not really have the time to make or keep any close friends. My hope is that, if we are permitted to reanimate them, she can find someone who makes her happy again. While Luca is the light of her life, I know she misses Giovanni desperately. She was never the same after his death."

"Then, if they are reanimated, that is our goal," Catherine brightened. "We'll play matchmaker. Just don't get too picky or overprotective, or we'll never be successful."

"Me, overprotective? Never!" he teased.

"By now it surely must be getting late. It's been quite a long and busy day," she stretched.

"That it has," he agreed. "We've been through a lot and have experienced a wide range of emotions."

"And we've been quite physically active."

"Very," he pulled her close kissing her temple.

"As we do not have proper nightclothes, I believe I'm up for sleeping in the nude tonight," Catherine resolved as she stood up and stretched. "What about you?"

"The thought doesn't bother me. Just as long as we get up and dressed before Dr. McCoy gets here in the morning. The poor man is convinced that our only waking thought is sex," John chuckled.

"You mean it's not?"

"Well, not usually," he winked as they started to strip down for their night's sleep.

"Maybe we should give Spock and Uhura some relationship advice," Catherine teased.

"Couldn't hurt, but I don't think Spock and I are at that point in our own relationship to discuss matters of intimacy," John teased back causing her to laugh.

After getting undressed, as the couple clung to each other's nude forms in bed under the duvet, they spent a short time staring lovingly admiring each other's faces before dimming the lights. In the dark, Catherine ran her fingertips lightly over John's lips before kissing him. She whispered, "I am ever so grateful that you came into my life. Despite all the horrible things we've been through, never ever think that you aren't worth it. I thank the Great Bird of the Galaxy everyday for you. You will always have my heart, all of it. I love you, John Harrison."

"And I love you, Catherine, my Imzadi," John whispered in reply before kissing her back. "You knew exactly what I needed before I even realized it and helped to heal my heart. You saved me, and I owe you my very life."

"Good night, my love."

"Good night," he pulled her closer as they drifted off to sleep.


	32. Preparations and Reparations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Listening track selection: "Sights" and by London Grammar

Catherine yawned and stretched slightly. Upon realizing that she was alone in bed, she flicked open her eyes to look for John. Rolling onto her side under the covers, she found him still nude standing and gazing out a small window that their new accommodations contained that they did not notice the preceding night. Slipping out from under the sheets and duvet, she quietly walked to his side and wrapped her arms tightly around him.

"Good morning, love," Catherine nuzzled her cheek against his shoulder briefly before looking up at him. "How did you sleep?"

"Wonderfully," John smiled. "It was even more restful than being in cryostasis," he teased. "Probably the best night's rest I've had since my ship was discovered and I was reanimated. How are you feeling? Did you sleep well?"

"It was lovely being in your arms. I always feel so safe when I'm with you. I had not a single worry last night. I slept very well," she reached down and took his hand before looking out the window. "Not too bad of a view," she commented. "It looks nice out there. I wish I could soak up some of that sunshine and smell the sea air."

"Perhaps if we request it, they will allow us some supervised time outside for some exercise and fresh air."

"Oh, that would be wonderful," she sighed. "I'm going to get freshened up real quick and get ready for the day. Want to join me?"

"No," he declined, "go ahead without me. I want to linger here a bit longer."

"Okay," she pulled away to make her way to the bathroom.

"Catherine," John turned to catch her by the arm before she got far from him.

"Yes?" she faced him. "Something wrong?"

John pulled her tightly against his body in an embrace tangling his fingers in her hair and kissing her deeply. "I love you," he whispered against her lips. "Sometimes I don't feel like I tell you or express it enough. You were worth the almost 300 year wait," he tucked stray curls behind her ear.

"I love you, too," she smiled as she stroked the skin on the small of his bare back. "I'm going to go get ready. You probably shouldn't linger too long unless you want Dr. McCoy to see you in your birthday suit," she smiled.

"It wouldn't be the first time. I won't wait too much longer, though," he grinned before turning back to look out the window.

Catherine sauntered to the bathroom to get ready while John remained at the window to peer at the outside world. As she stood at the sink washing her face, she looked in the mirror only to realize that she had a couple marks on her neck left behind from John's worship of her body the previous night. At first, she worried since she had no makeup with which she could attempt to hide the marks, but then smiled to herself feeling somewhat proud to be marked by him.  _"Now no one will doubt that I belong to John,"_ she smirked.

Still standing at the window, John ran his hand through his hair pushing back the loose strands that had fallen into his face while deep in thought. Starting to feel the strain from all of the preparations for the trial, worrying about their own fate and the fate of their family, Catherine's health, their unborn child, and from constantly putting on a brave face for Catherine's sake, John thought about the night of passion he and Catherine had shared, and suddenly feeling overwhelmed with such strong and mixed emotions, he found his façade starting to crack as tears started to stream down his face. Letting out a couple of quiet sobs, he took several deep breaths and wiped the tears off of his face.  _"I must be strong for Catherine, for our child, and for our family,"_  he resolved.  _"I must endeavor to persevere as I have always done. This will not be the end of us. I swear it."_

Standing quietly in the doorway of the bathroom watching John's shoulders tremble with his sobs and hearing him sniffle as he wiped away his tears, Catherine paused as she sensed his inner turmoil. While she ached and longed to comfort him, she also knew that he was doing his best to be strong for her, that this was important to him and gave him a sense of purpose. With this in mind, she reluctantly decided to give him a moment longer to collect himself. Sitting on the lid of the toilet, she wrapped her arms around her feeling horrid that he rarely knew a moment's peace in his entire life.  _"I wish he didn't feel like he has to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders all the time,"_  she reflected.  _"While, I have no doubt that he trusts me and would tell me anything, he wants to take care of everything and be strong for me, but we're in this together. I wish he could just let go and share all of himself with me just as he let go last night."_

After waiting several minutes, Catherine emerged from the bathroom, slinked up behind John, and wrapped her arms around him. Lightly feeling the muscles of his abdomen and the hair on his chest with her fingertips and getting up on her tiptoes, she leaned around and placed a tender kiss on his neck below his ear. "Go on and get ready, love. I'll get us some breakfast. Do you have any preferences this morning?" she asked before nuzzling her face into his upper back.

Gently prying away her hands from around his waist, John turned around, and again putting on a brave face, smiled, "Having you would be nice, but I don't think Dr. McCoy would appreciate finding us in a moment of passion."

"No, he wouldn't," she shook her head.

"Anything for breakfast will be fine. I'll go ahead and get dressed," he pecked her on the cheek before walking towards the bathroom.

" _He trusts me to choose his breakfast, but he can't trust me enough to share with me his deepest concerns,"_  Catherine pouted as John walked a way.

"What was that?" John stopped dead in his tracks and turned around having overheard her thoughts as she let her guard down. "Catherine, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. Why must something always be wrong?" she snapped with her back to him while standing in front of the replicator.

"Catherine, please, you can tell me anything," he rejoined her and put his hand on her back.

"I can tell you anything, but can you do the same?" she huffed.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not sure that I understand. Imzadi, help me to understand. I do not want you to be upset."

"Of course you don't," she sighed. "John," she turned to face him and took hold of his hands, "I just want you to remember that we're in this together, okay?"

"Um, okay. I think," he furrowed his brow.

"Just remember that you're not a lone wolf. I'm always here for you, and you can come to me for anything."

"I know, Catherine, and thank you. Don't worry yourself over me," he insisted. "Now come here," he pulled her close and kissed her deeply. "Go ahead and have some breakfast. I will join you shortly," he smiled.

Catherine retrieved some yogurt, granola, and berries for herself. She then set the replicator to what she decided upon for John and left it so that he would only need to press a button to have the food appear lest it get cold while he was getting washed and dressed. Dumping the granola and berries into the bowl, she stirred them into the yogurt absentmindedly thinking about her interaction with John before he left her to eat.  _"I just don't want him to self-destruct. He may be an Augment and does not have that horrid parasite in his head anymore, but his emotions are so strong. He will eventually wear himself out fussing so much about everything."_

Returning from the bathroom refreshed and fully dressed, John leaned over and kissed Catherine on the temple. "You haven't eaten a single bite," he noted her stirring her yogurt slowly.

"Oh, no I haven't," she shook her head. "I guess I was just distracted. I chose something for you. You just have to have the replicator generate it."

John nodded and retrieved the breakfast she selected for him from the replicator before sitting down across from her. "Eggs Benedict," he looked at the plate as he picked up his fork.

"Is that alright? You can pick something else if you don't like it."

"Oh no, it's fine," he smiled. "I just cannot remember the last time I had it."

The couple grew silent as they both ate their breakfast. While Catherine's appetite was fine, John noted that she was eating quite slowly as if her mind was elsewhere. Having finished his breakfast quickly and not wanting her to feel as if he was being overprotective or smothering her, John went back to his window to look out at San Francisco. Suddenly, the sound of dishes and silverware crashing to the floor caused him to turn around only to find Catherine holding one hand to her chest while doing her best to brace herself against the wall with the other. He rushed to her side and supported her until she regained her balance.

"I'm okay," she insisted pulling away from his grasp. Attempting to pick up the items she had dropped, she almost collapsed again.

"Catherine, enough," John scooped her up, carried her, and put her on the bed.

"Really, John, I'm fine," she tried to sit up before lying back down upon feeling dizzy.

"No, you're not," he frowned taking a seat beside her on the edge of the bed and gently wiping away the cold sweat that had formed on her brow. "You're white as a ghost."

"Dr. McCoy will be here soon. I'll just rest until he arrives. This isn't an emergency," she rolled onto her side into a fetal position. "Just stay here with me, John, if you're that concerned."

"I won't leave you," he reassured her.

Just as Catherine suggested, Dr. McCoy was waiting outside their door about ten minutes later. As soon as he alerted them to his presence, John ran to the door to let him inside. "Morning," the physician greeted John.

"Help her," John's voice faltered ever so slightly as he stood aside allowing Dr. McCoy to see Catherine curled up on the bed.

"What's going on here?" Dr. McCoy rushed to the bedside and knelt to examine her. "What happened?" he asked as he started scanning her.

"Good morning to you, too, doctor," Catherine smiled weakly. "I got up from the table to get rid of our breakfast dishes. I had a heart palpitation, which is not unusual as I've had them on and off for many years and they have been deemed to be benign, but I broke out into a cold sweat and almost blacked out," she explained.

"Everything is checking out just fine including Baby Harrison," Dr. McCoy noted. "Probably was a vasovagal episode. Any thoughts on what might have caused it?"

"No, not really. Could be all of the stress, and I was a little upset this morning. I'm better now, though," Catherine asserted as she rolled onto her back.

"What happened here?" Dr. McCoy gently touched the small, discolored areas on the side of her neck.

"Haven't you ever seen a hickey before? You know, a love bite?" she grinned mischievously.

"Shit," Dr. McCoy swore as he stood quickly. "I want you to take it easy today. You should be fine, but just be careful. If you start feeling faint again, sit down," he advised.

"Certainly," she nodded her head in agreement. "By the way, how is Captain Kirk?"

"Fully conscious, but not fully coherent just yet. More impulsive than usual and driving my female medical staff crazy with his inability to keep his big mouth shut," the doctor grumbled. "I guess some things never change."

"If you plan on giving him any more infusions of my blood, I suggest giving him a high dose of a sedative," John smirked.

"Absolutely! It's bad enough that he's all but sexually harassing my staff. I don't need him seducing and impregnating them either!" Dr. McCoy rolled his eyes. "Sorry," he apologized realizing what he just said. "I'm not insinuating that something like that happened between you two. Please don't take it that way."

John and Catherine looked each other and started laughing as the doctor blushed in embarrassment and frustration. "It's okay, doctor," Catherine reassured him once she calmed down. "It didn't even cross my mind that you meant it that way until you brought it up."

"Dr. McCoy, on a more serious note, do you have any updates on your study of the Ceti eels?" John asked.

"Yes, I almost forgot to tell you. A zoologist friend of mine who became quite interested in your story and owed me a favor helped me to obtain a few of the creatures, and our studies have produced a lot of valuable data."

"And?" John sighed.

"Upon reaching Ceti Alpha V, he performed a quick scan on a young eel and detected trace amounts of mammal DNA to which he was able to attribute back to a creature resembling an American bison. Successfully finding a herd of said Ceti bison, he found that many of them were infected with the eel larvae. He noted that some of the infected bison would stagger about, but overall, as both creatures evolved together on the planet, the bison do not appear to be harmed too much from acting as hosts."

"But what about non-native hosts?" Catherine asked.

"Thus far our studies on the larvae have demonstrated that what John here told us is likely true. The larvae produce small amounts of a potent neurotoxin similar in chemical makeup to domoic acid here on Earth. The longer the larvae live inside the host, the more the neurotoxin builds up in the host's body."

"Domoic acid causes the condition referred to as amnesic shellfish poisoning," John noted. "The condition usually is suffered by marine mammals, but I recall a human outbreak in Canada in 1987 due to food poisoning. Those that survived had long-term neurological problems including memory loss."

"Although human infection is rare, we at least have an antidote for domoic acid poisoning now. Anyways, aside from the eel larvae producing the neurotoxin, it's also reasonable to propose that their presence within a non-native host's cranial cavity is in and of itself enough to cause erratic behavior as increased pressure is applied to the frontal lobe," Dr. McCoy explained further.

"Oh John, how you must have suffered," Catherine frowned. "I know that you couldn't tell me, but I wish I could have done something to help you sooner. It would have spared you so much pain and would have prevented needless deaths."

"Doctor," John chose not to reply to Catherine fearing that he might show too much emotion in front of the doctor, "do you feel confident that your data is strong enough to present during the trial?"

"Yes," Dr. McCoy nodded. "I believe that I can make a strong argument on your behalf if it is something to which you are still agreeable. Plus, we still have time to gather more information as it will not start until Jim is well enough to testify."

"I thank you for your offer of assistance and still accept it. While your argument alone will not be likely enough to prove that I had little control over my actions, I do feel that it will greatly aid in my defense taken as a whole."

"I'll be sure to keep you updated on Jim, the eels, and anything else I'm permitted to tell you. If you continue having fainting spells, Catherine, we'll take a look at possible medications to help with that," the doctor explained. "As I said, take it easy today, and I'll stop by again sometime tomorrow to see how you're doing."

"Thank you," Catherine smiled. "See you tomorrow," she bid the doctor farewell as he walked out the door. "Help me to the couch?" Catherine asked reaching out her hand to John.

"Of course," John took her hand pulling her up gently to help her to stand. After she stood and they both made sure she had her balance, John walked with her to the couch to ensure that if she were to faint again that he would catch her before she fell. Once she sat comfortably on the couch, John sat down beside her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"Penny for your thoughts," she snuggled closer to him noting that he was feeling uneasy.

"You already know my thoughts," John sighed. "Imzadi, you told Dr. McCoy that you were upset this morning, and I noted that you were a bit angry as well as you shouted at me. Did I do something wrong? Did something I do last night displease or hurt you?" he asked using his other hand to tilt her chin so that she had to look him in the eyes. "Please tell me. Although we can communicate telepathically, unlike you, I cannot easily sense your emotions. I usually can only deduce what you're feeling through your mannerisms, and it pains me when you shut me out of your thoughts."

"I'm admittedly very frustrated with you at times," she frowned averting her eyes. "Just know that I worry about you worrying about me. We're in this together, as we always have been, and there is no need for you to bear our burdens alone. Sometimes I feel like we're back to square one like it was before I told you that I knew your identity as Khan. John," Catherine again looked him in the eyes and stroked his cheek, "you have touched me deeply, and I have shared with you the most intimate parts of myself. Never feel as if you have to hide anything. You always help me, and I want to help you. You don't have to protect me from everything. I'm not made of glass and will not break. I just want you to feel free to let go, Imzadi."

"Sometimes it's difficult to teach an old dog new tricks," he grimaced.

"But old dogs are often the wisest and most beloved," she gently smiled.

"Perhaps," he kissed her on the forehead. "I will try not to worry too much over you and our situation, but I cannot guarantee it. I was molded to be a leader, and thus it is in my nature to feel concern over those who are in my care. Catherine, my bond with you, I have never felt so close to someone before. You are part of me now, and I think that if I were to lose you that it would be the death of me. You saw what it did to me before when I thought I had lost you."

"And I almost did lose you on the  _Vengeance_. John, you looked so ill. You were deathly pale by the time I got to you. I feel the same as you. I do not know what I would have done if I had lost you then."

"I did not think it possible, as our bond was already strong, but last night, we were both so vulnerable and gave so much of ourselves to one another in a manner that we had not done before, that I felt as if we were truly one during our coupling."

"I also felt that way. It's both beautiful and frightening, no?"

"Yes, it is," his voice quivered ever so slightly.

"John, it's okay to feel this way even if you, myself included, do not fully understand it. I'm learning what it feels like, too. I now feel things more deeply through you. We knew that there was some risk involved in our coming together in a romantic, intimate bond, an Augment and a half-Betazoid. I don't know about you, but I'm glad we took that risk. In the end, I know that we're going to be just fine, you and me. We can learn together."

"Imzadi," he panted before pulling her close and kissing her deeply.

" _Feeling better?"_  she smiled as he broke the kiss.

" _Shouldn't I be asking you that question? You're the one that fainted,"_ he smiled back.

" _You're too much, John,"_  she rested her head on his shoulder.

" _Have you ever considered becoming a counselor?"_

" _Actually, no I haven't. Why?"_

" _You would be excellent at it. Just something to consider,"_ he suggested.

" _Please don't scold me as I am about to apologize for something,"_  she looked up at him and glared at him slightly recalling their conversation about her being apologetic so often. _"I'm sorry for nearly starting a fight with you earlier and snapping at you. I hate it when we bicker, and I should try harder not to be the cause of it. And my hormones are no excuse!"_  she grinned.

" _I forgive you, and we're both under a lot of pressure. Not that it makes it okay for us to quarrel with one another, but it certainly does not help. As you said, we can learn together. Even with our ability to communicate using telepathy, we clearly can do a little better communicating with each other. I will try better at letting you know when I need you,"_  he resolved.

" _Thank you, John. I will try letting you know when you're pissing me off rather than stewing over it until I want to explode. You really think I would make a good counselor?"_

" _You are gentle and caring, but you do not put up with nonsense either. Like I said, just something to think about in the future. For now, let us keep our focus on our current situation."_

That afternoon, John was escorted away for another session of questioning by the board of inquiry. There had been plans for Catherine to be questioned separately by some of the board members, but given Dr. McCoy's report about her spell that morning, they decided to postpone her first full session to the next day if the doctor cleared her to participate. After his session was complete and Catherine sat reading, John returned causing her to look up at him as he walked into their quarters.

"What did they do to you?" Catherine gasped as John walked inside with blood running from his brow, around his eye, and the corner of his mouth down his face.

"Apparently one our security officers has a personal vendetta against me due to my actions against Starfleet both in London and here in San Francisco," he sighed as he sat on the side of the bed holding out his arms so the escort could take off his shackles. Once they were removed, the officer left them alone.

Catherine went to the bathroom and moistened a towel before returning and sitting beside John. "This might sting a little," she warned him before she started to dab the blood off of his face.

"It's already starting to close and heal," he insisted before wincing slightly as she dabbed at his brow.

"Yes, it is, as I expected that it would, but it is still causing you pain," she noted pursing her lips whilst focusing on his care. "What happened?" she asked after a couple of minutes of tending to his wounds.

"They were bringing me back here after my session of questioning. My assailant was around a corner lying in wait, and when we turned the corner, he started swinging a club-like object at my head. I did not see what it was with which he hit me, as they stunned him with a phaser and whisked me away," he sighed looking down at his lap.

"John, I sense that you're feeling frustrated and quite upset. It's okay," she gently stroked the uninjured side of his face.

"I'll be fine," he hissed lightly as tears gathered in his eyes. "I just need a moment to collect myself."

"Do you wish for me to let you have some time alone so you can meditate?" she offered.

"I do wish to meditate, and if you are agreeable to it, I would very much like for you to massage my neck and shoulders as well."

"Of course," she smiled gently before climbing onto the bed and kneeling behind him.

"Thank you," he sighed as she started to knead the tension out of his muscles.

"Go on and meditate," she encouraged him.

Around fifteen minutes later, John sighed feeling content once again. "That was wonderful," he broke the silence and reached around to help her sit beside him on the bed.

"Feel better?"

"Much," he sighed. "I was upset for a couple of reasons. First, I let my guard down. I was so deep in thought that I was not prepared to defend myself which is not at all like me. It also upset me, because for a brief moment, the thought flashed through my mind that my assailant might have gotten to you first. I feared the worst."

"Thank you for sharing your concerns with me," she kissed him on the cheek. "I know you don't really scar much, but I've always wondered, how exactly did you get this scar?" she asked lightly tracing a scar at the corner of his mouth.

"I got it as a child. I was only in my first year of school. On my way back to the compound after school one day, a group of much older human boys ambushed me. They gave me quite a beating whilst chanting 'Freak!' It's how I got my scar, but let's just say, they never did it again," he noted with a glint in his eye.

"What did you do?"

"When they attacked me, they had strength in numbers. Anytime I found one of them alone, however, I returned the favor. Do not worry, as there was no permanent damage done to them."

"Strong and brave even as a child. I can see why they wanted you to be Khan."

Catherine experienced no further vasovagal episodes, and so she, too, was subjected to sessions of questioning with the board of inquiry. Days quickly passed, and days grew into weeks. As Catherine, John, and their supporters focused themselves intently on the upcoming trial, March had quickly passed, and they soon found themselves well into April. One day, Marla visited with the couple to update them on her work.

"In preparation for your upcoming trial, I've been delving into what little documents have survived from the Eugenics era, and I found something that you both may find very interesting," Marla reported.

"Go on," John urged her.

"In one of the transcripts of your sessions with the board of inquiry, I noticed that you stated that some of the human scientists from your empire risked their lives to help you and your family escape on the  _Botany Bay_  and that you had no idea what their fate was after your escape. I managed to track the path of one of those scientists. Do you by chance remember a Dr. McKay?"

"Hmm," John thought hard. "Although vaguely, yes, I do remember him. He was an American."

"Dr. McKay managed to slip out of your borders and returned to the United States where he changed his surname to McCoy. McKay was actually an alias."

"No, it couldn't be," Catherine gasped. "Could it?"

"From what I found tracing Dr. McKay's descendants, yes, he was one of your very own Dr. McCoy's distant ancestors," Marla explained.

"Is Dr. McCoy aware of this?" John asked.

"Unless he has decided to hide it, I have no reason to believe that he has any knowledge of this. In which case, I thought it best for the two of you to tell him if that was what you wish to do."

John looked to Catherine and then decided stating, "I will tell him after the trial regardless of its outcome. I do not want to distract him or skew his views on me. Thank you, Miss McGivers, for all of your dedication not only to Catherine and me but also to preserving the true history of my people."

"You're welcome," Marla blushed before she left.

" _We have got to find that poor woman a man,"_  John put a hand to his head and groaned.

" _If we get permission to reanimate your family someday, do you have any friends that you can match with her?"_  Catherine smiled.

" _I have a couple in mind, and it's a shame we cannot reanimate them under some sort of vague Federation emergency protocol just so that I can get her mind off of me. While I am flattered that she finds me attractive, it just feels so awkward. Under different circumstances, I would do something to scare her away, but she's so kind, she's helping us, and she's your friend. At least you're present whenever I have to interact with her."_

" _I know this is frustrating for you, John. Thank you for not losing your temper with her. Once this stupid trial is over, she can go back to her work in New Delhi and hopefully move on with her life and find someone special. Unfortunately until then, I'm not sure if I have a solution right now since you and I are her main focus. I will ask Janice if she has any ideas or can help to distract her during her free time."_

" _That would be excellent,"_ he sighed.  _"For now, please distract me."_

" _Right away,"_ she grinned.

Another day one morning while Catherine had time alone and sat reading as she awaited John's return from speaking with Admiral Morrow and his team, someone signaled the door chime to their quarters. Catherine got up rubbing her baby bump expecting Dr. McCoy to be checking in on her, as he wanted to examine her a little more often now that she was into her second trimester. She was surprised, however, when she opened the door to be greeted not by Dr. McCoy but by Rima Harewood who was holding a small vase of flowers in one hand and the hand of her daughter Lucille in the other.

"Rima?" Catherine gasped. "I wasn't expecting you," she put a hand to her mouth.

"Hi, Catherine," Rima smiled. "May we come inside?"

"Oh, yes, of course," Catherine backed out of the doorway to allow them to enter.

"Go and play, Lucy. Mummy needs to talk with Miss Catherine," Rima gently patted the girl's back. Lucy nodded, took her backpack off that she had with her, and sat on the floor to play with her dolls that the backpack contained.

"She looks so healthy, so good," Catherine noted.

"You look good yourself," Rima glanced down at Catherine's ever-expanding waistline.

"Thank you. I still want to pinch myself at times," she rubbed her belly nervously. "It was certainly not something that I was planning or expecting, but I'm happy. Would you like some tea?"

"That would be lovely. These are for you, by the way," Rima offered Catherine the small vase.

Catherine took the vase smelling the flowers. "They're beautiful. I wish I could go outside and experience them out in nature. I haven't been outside or have had fresh air since we were brought here. If I'm not in here, I'm in the other room being questioned," she frowned. "Anyways, please, have a seat. I'll get your tea," Catherine had Rima sit at the small table. She soon returned with two cups of tea. "I'm sure by now you've read and seen the news reports about John and me," Catherine furrowed her brow as she sat across from Rima.

"Yes, I have," Rima nodded.

"They don't have particularly nice things to say about me," she sighed as she looked up to peer out the window.

"No, they do not." Reaching across the small table and taking Catherine's hand, she added, "I find it hard to believe everything they say about you."

"Rima," Catherine started to cry, "you're going to hate me. Has anyone told you how Lucy got well? Do you know what really happened that day your husband died from supposedly causing the explosion at the archives?"

"John, your husband, coerced Thomas into committing that terrible act of terrorism in London," Rima replied angrily causing Catherine to close her eyes tightly. "And John also saved my little girl's life," she continued more gently her voice quavering as tears formed in her own eyes. "I don't hate you, Catherine, and even though I have every reason to feel that way, I don't hate John either."

"What? Why?" Catherine gasped opening her eyes.

"Don't misunderstand me. I don't hate John, but I am still furious with him for tearing my family apart. At the same time, though, I know my Thomas would probably have done the same thing to save us if he was in the same situation and the opportunity had arisen."

"I'm so sorry, Rima. It's not fair that you lost your husband and that I get to have mine," Catherine continued as tears continued to run down her cheeks. "It should be the other way around."

"Don't talk like that! Catherine," Rima squeezed her hand, "you were not aware of John's actions and do not deserve to be punished for them. Starfleet has remained tight-lipped about their investigation into his actions, but I have been provided with information that he may not have been in his right mind when he spoke with my husband. I was provided that information because I stepped forward to speak in your defense."

"You did?"

"Yes, of course, I did. Although I only knew you a short time, you were so kind and caring towards us while Lucy was in the hospital and after we lost Thomas despite everything you were personally experiencing at the time. While my husband was sworn to secrecy just as much as John and you, he would mention from time to time the pressure Marcus' would place on those under his command in Section 31. If my husband knew what Marcus was doing to you, John, and those people in those cryotubes, he would have been mortified. Catherine, when you visited with us and helped with Lucy, I couldn't even tell anything was wrong. You're so strong," Rima smiled as she wiped away her tears.

"At the time, I certainly didn't feel strong," Catherine sniffled as she became calm and stopped crying. "Despite our current situation and our possible fate, things have improved for John and me now that we're free from Marcus and our family is safe. Besides, we have a baby on the way," she smiled weakly.

"A baby is always something happy and brings such joy."

The door to the Harrison's' quarters opened as John was escorted inside by one of the security officers. Catherine turned around in her chair feeling slightly panicked not knowing what to expect in regards to the now inevitable interaction between the Harewoods and John. After John was unfettered and the security officer left, John came to the realization that Catherine was not alone.  _"Shit,"_  he thought freezing at the door and looked at her unsure what to say or do upon realizing the identity of their guests.

"John," Catherine got up from her chair. Upon reaching him, she took hold of his hands and squeezed them tightly to reassure him.  _"It's okay. She's angry, but she does not hate you. I will be at your side the entire time. I promise. Are you ready?"_

" _I suppose,"_  he nodded.

" _Then come with me,"_  she gently pulled him by one hand towards the table where Rima was sitting and watching them. "Sit down, John," she gently pushed him into the chair across from Rima and placed her hands on his shoulders.

"Commander Harrison," Rima greeted him coldly.

"Mrs. Harewood," John managed to return her greeting before growing silent and looking down at his lap.

"Have you nothing to say for yourself?" Rima barked at him. "How can you just sit there and act like nothing happened? Are you really that cold-hearted? Don't you feel anything?"

"I, uh," John struggled to find the words to say. Swallowing nervously, he looked over at Lucille who was still playing quietly on the floor. Watching the young girl and thinking of his own growing child in Catherine's womb, tears soon began to flow freely from his eyes. Looking back at Rima, he choked out, "Contrary to what many people think of Augments, I do feel. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Well, sorry won't bring Thomas back, now will it?" Rima furrowed her brow.

"No, it won't," John sank out of the chair onto his knees in front of her. "If I could trade places with him, I would," he started to weep. "I'm so sorry. I wish there was something I could do. Please forgive me."

Overhearing the emotional conversation between Rima and John, little Lucy looked up from her play upon hearing John's cries. Feeling concerned, Lucy grabbed her stuffed rabbit, got up off the floor, and approached him. "Mister, it's okay. Don't cry," Lucy put her hand gently on John's shoulder. "Here, hold onto my bunny. When I'm sad, he helps me to feel better," she offered him the rabbit. "Mummy says that you helped me to get better when I was sick."

"Yes," John nodded his head as he took hold of her stuffed rabbit and clutched it to his chest as he struggled to regain control of his emotions.

"Thank you," Lucy leaned over giving John a kiss on the cheek and wrapping her arms tightly around his neck.

"Oh," he gasped quietly in surprise before wrapping an arm around her and patting her back. "You're welcome."

"You can hold onto my bunny for now. I'm going to go play again," she smiled and went back to her dolls.

"You didn't tell her about what I did to her father?" John asked Rima after Lucy left.

"No, I will tell her someday, but not now. Children do not need seeds of hate sown in their hearts. When she is older and my heart has healed, I will tell her," Rima explained.

"Nothing I could ever say will ever be enough to make reparation for what I have done to you. If you cannot find it within your heart to forgive me, I do not blame you," John dried his cheeks as Catherine knelt beside him and put her arm around his shoulders.

"I'm angry with you, John Harrison, and I have no idea how I have found myself able to do it, but I forgive you because it is what Thomas would have wanted. As I told Catherine, I have come forward to speak in her defense and have learned information that has shed some light on your actions. Despite what I said earlier, you do feel," Rima said as she slid out of her chair and sat down on the floor joining John and Catherine.

"My psionic abilities have enabled me to see that Augments like John feel even more deeply than you and I," Catherine nodded as she released John's shoulders and rested her hand on his forearm.

"Admiral Marcus had every single person that I love within his grasp, and he showed me that he was not afraid to hurt or kill them to force me to do his bidding," John explained. "To make matters worse, he infected me with a parasite to influence me psychologically. I was desperate. I'm sorry that I took advantage of your daughter's illness and your husband's love for both of you to exact my revenge on Marcus," John frowned looking down at Lucy's rabbit still in his hands. "If by some miracle Catherine and I are granted our freedom and you ever need anything, do not hesitate to come to us. While I no longer have the resources that I had during my rule as Khan, I will do what I can to help you. I know you said that you wanted to wait until your daughter was older to tell her what I did to her father, but, with your permission, I would like to tell her myself."

"Since you offered, yes, I give you permission. Lucy, sweetie, Commander Harrison would like to talk to you," Rima called the little girl over to join them. Heeding her mother's call, Lucy came over and sat on her mother's lap.

"Thank you for letting me hold your rabbit, Miss Harewood," John handed the little girl the stuffed toy. "It helped me to feel better."

"You're welcome," Lucy squeezed it tightly.

"I just wanted to let you know that your father loved you very much," he began. "People may tell you that he was a bad man because he did horrible things to people, but it's not true. You must never believe them. Lucy, your father took his own life and hurt those people in London because I told him to do it."

"I know," the little girl nodded.

"What?" the three adults asked and looked at her confused.

"When my daddy gave me your special medicine and I started to get better, he told me that he loved me very much and that he wanted me to take care of my mummy. I was still so tired that I couldn't open my eyes or talk, but I could hear him. He told me that a man was making him to a very bad thing and that I would not see him again, and he told me to be a good girl," she explained as she played with the ears of her rabbit.

"I see," John arched his brow. "If you ever have questions about what happened, do not be afraid to ask me."

A couple of days after the Harewoods' visit with John and Catherine, they were informed that they had been granted permission to have some supervised time outdoors for some fresh air and exercise.  _"I wonder of Rima had any say in this,"_  Catherine thought to herself as they were led into a walled-in courtyard with armed guards around the perimeter. After their wrists were released from their bonds, Catherine asked, "Are we permitted to jog?"

"Yes, of course," the security officer nodded before taking his post at the perimeter.

"Are you sure that is a good idea, Imzadi?" John quietly asked her. "Between your pregnancy and unstable constitution recently, you have not gotten much rigorous exercise. You might harm yourself or our child from overexerting yourself."

"Exercise is not contraindicated in pregnancy," she rolled her eyes. "I'll be fine. Besides, some exercise and fresh air should do me some good," she swatted his arm before taking off in a light jog. "Come on!" she shouted back at him urging him to join her.

Knitting his brow, John stood firmly in place and crossed his arms feeling frustration with her stubborn defiance and concern about her health.  _"I refuse to partake in something that could bring you harm,"_  he glared at her as she completed her first lap.

" _Your loss!"_  she glared back at him and continued onwards.

After a few laps, she stopped when she reached John's position again to take a breather.  _"Are you okay?"_  he asked as she bent at the waist and leaned with her hands on her thighs.

" _I'm fine,"_  she insisted.  _"I just need, oh shit,"_  she stopped mid-thought as she threw up into the grass.

"You need to stop," John rushed to her side.

"I'm alright. Feel a little bit better actually," she lied and pulled away from him as she resumed jogging.

"Stop!" he growled.  _"You have nothing to prove to me if that is your intention!"_

" _Maybe I have something to prove to myself."_

Despite his pleas, Catherine continued jogging. As she was halfway around another lap and across the courtyard from John, she suddenly stumbled before collapsing flat on her face. John immediately sprinted to where she lay with her face in the grass and dirt before any of the security officers even realized what was happening.

"Catherine! Please, no," he gently rolled her over onto her back and began to brush the dirt off her face smudging it as it turned to mud from mixing with her sweat. Blood slowly also began to run from a small cut on her forehead. "What are you standing around for? Get some help!" John shouted at the officers who were now staring at them. "Imzadi," he gently patted her cheek to try to arouse her.

"John?" she weakly rasped as she opened her eyes.

"No, stay quiet and do not try to move," he tore off some of the fabric of his shirt and started to dab at her face.

"What happened? I'm so tired," her head started to bob and she struggled to keep her eyes open as she started to lose consciousness again.

"No, Catherine stay with me," John tried to have her stay awake and focus on him. Despite his efforts, she again blacked out and became unresponsive. "Catherine!"


	33. In Sickness and In Health

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry dear followers for leaving you with a cliffhanger last time! Life got a little messy for me, and I had a bit of writer's block. Oh well, onwards! A lot of John and Kestra getting to know each other. I based her strongly on Lwaxana Troi as I love how she interacts with those around her.
> 
> Listening track selections: "Strong" by London Grammar and "In Two (The Lament)" by Jennifer Knapp

Despite maintaining a calm visage, John felt dread within his heart as Catherine became unresponsive even with his efforts to keep her conscious. After what felt like hours to him, two medical personnel, a male who identified himself as Dr. Kelly and a female who identified herself as Nurse McCall, arrived with their kits to start providing her with care until she was stable enough to be moved inside to the infirmary. John quickly summarized to the medics the events leading up to her collapse and verified with them that Dr. McCoy had been notified so that he could see and treat her as soon as possible given her unique situation in regards to her pregnancy.

Dr. Kelly began scanning her as Nurse McCall began to report out loud her physical exam: "Barely responsive to painful stimuli. Distal pulses are weak and thready, but central pulses are strong. Heart rate is 260 beats per minute. Respiration rate is elevated, but no distress noted. What's her heart rhythm, Dr. Kelly?"

"According to my tricorder readings, she's in SVT, supraventricular tachycardia. We need to get an IV in her stat," Dr. Kelly reported.

"I'm on it," the nurse started to cut open one of Catherine's sleeves to access her inner arm.

"Can I do anything?" John looked to Dr. Kelly who was continuing to monitor Catherine's vital signs with his tricorder as Nurse McCall worked on inserting a large-bore IV catheter into the crook of her elbow.

"Put this over her eyes and try to keep her comfortable," Dr. Kelly nodded handing John a cold pack from his kit. "Dr. McCoy told us about your blood and it's ability to heal."

"But this is an emergency, and we do not fully understand the abilities of my blood. I do not think we should rely solely on it at this very moment," John resolved as he placed the cold pack over her eyes as instructed. "I am no doctor, but we need to get her heart back into an appropriate rhythm. Do you still use adenosine to treat SVT?"

"Yes, old but reliable," Nurse McCall reported as she prepared one syringe of the medication and another of saline solution.

"It won't harm our child, will it?"

"Completely safe to use in pregnancy," Nurse McCall reassured him. "I'd rather give her this than have to use electrical cardioversion on her. While that is also safe, there's slightly more risk to the fetus. It can also be painful depending on how conscious she is at the time it is performed."

"Then get on with it," John urged her to administer the medication.

Nurse McCall quickly administered the first dose of adenosine and flushed the IV line. Dr. Kelly continued to monitor her heart rhythm and instructed the nurse, "Go ahead and draw up another dose. If there is no change in the next two minutes, we'll have to give it again."

John, still holding the cold pack over her eyes, leaned down next to Catherine's ear and whispered to her, "Please Imzadi, you can do this. You're going to be just fine. I'm right here with you. You are so strong."

"No changes," Dr. Kelly reported once the waiting period was complete. "Give her the next dose of the adenosine."

As planned, Nurse McCall administered the second dose and flushed her line with saline solution again as Dr. Kelly continued scanning. John, who was still leaning over Catherine and whispering in her ear words of support and comfort, gently started to massage the nerve cluster behind her carotid artery that she used for plexing. "Catherine, I do not want them to have to shock you. It is so painful. Please respond," he whispered pleadingly.

After another minute passed, Dr. Kelly shook his head, "Nurse McCall, get the equipment ready to cardiovert her. She's not responding to the adenosine."

"Come on, Catherine, please," John whispered lowly in her ear.

"Wait! She's back!" Dr. Kelly smiled. "She's back in sinus rhythm. Let's start giving her boluses of IV fluids and get her inside. See if you can get her to wake up for you," he looked to John.

"Catherine," John gently removed the ice pack and patted her cheeks. "Wake up, Imzadi."

"Ugh," Catherine managed a weak moan.

Although unable to move or speak and before once again losing consciousness, Catherine could feel John's strong arms scooping her up and carrying her as they moved her inside where she could receive further care and advanced monitoring. John was grateful to see that Dr. McCoy had just arrived and was waiting for them as they entered the room. As John gently put her on one of the biobeds, Dr. McCoy began barking orders to the staff while Dr. Kelly provided him with report. Nurse McCall took John slightly to the side to answer any of his questions, to reassure him, and to make sure he was not in the way but still close enough to be near Catherine.

A couple of hours later, Catherine lay motionless on her biobed in the small infirmary located within the building where she and John had been held since being taken into custody back to Earth. By this time, she had been changed into a thin, white hospital gown, a new IV had been inserted into her arm, and she was being given IV fluids. Waiting for Dr. McCoy to return to reassess her condition, John, whom was permitted to stay with her as the infirmary was well guarded being part of their prison compound, listened to the steady "thump thump" of the biobed's monitor indicating her heart rate as he sat on a stool next to her bed and clutched one of her hands to his chest. "Imzadi, please wake up soon," he whispered quietly to her as she slept. "I need to know you're going to be well just as Dr. McCoy said that you would."

Suddenly, Catherine's mother Kestra came running into the room. "John, what happened? What's wrong with her?" she asked upon reaching Catherine's bedside.

"We were given permission to go outside in order to get fresh air and exercise. She wanted to jog. After a few laps, she vomited. I advised her that she should cease lest she overexert herself, but she insisted that she was fine and continued before collapsing. When she became completely unresponsive, I started to think that I was going to lose her," John lifted Catherine's hand and held it briefly to his cheek before kissing it and gently putting it down at her side.

"Oh John, at least you were with her when it happened. I think it is what she would want if the worst were to befall her," Kestra hugged him tightly and kissed him on the cheek a bit to his surprise before pulling up a stool beside him. "Is she going to be okay?" she asked as she stroked Catherine's forehead.

"Dr. McCoy insists that with some rest and fluids she should be just fine. Her heart had been thrown into an unstable electrical rhythm, and he is doing a workup to determine what caused it and what can be done to prevent it in the future," John explained. "I do not know what I would have done if I had lost her. Right now she is my world. She is all that I have with my family still in cryostasis. When we first met, I was so alone and so afraid of what could happen to my loved ones, and despite how horribly I treated her then, she saw past the monster and loved the man. I feel like I owe her my very life. I'm afraid to know where I'd be right now if she had not stepped into my universe," he looked to Kestra who was gazing at him intently taking in his words and deeply sensing his emotions. "Sorry, I'm not sure why I'm baring my soul and sharing my burdens with you like this. She's your daughter, and if anyone should be worried and upset now, it's you," he tentatively placed his hand on Kestra's back.

"Sweetheart, don't worry about me," Kestra smiled. "Let's just worry about getting Catherine healthy and back on her feet." After a few minutes of silence, Kestra reached over and took John's hand.  _ "I can see why my little one was drawn to you. Despite your insistence that you are, or rather were, a monster, you are so full of love. Do not be afraid to share your heart with those that care about you, little warrior. I do not feel that I have lost a daughter but rather have gained a son, and I look forward to getting to know you better." _

" _I forgot that you're Betazoid,"_  John felt a bit startled with Kestra's communicating with him telepathically.  _"I thought that only Catherine and I could communicate this way due to our bond with each other."_

" _Being full Betazoid, my psionic abilities are more advanced and developed than Catherine's, but you are special, John. You're clearly superior since your Augment brain is more responsive to my telepathy than the average human's. Your bond with my daughter, however, is special, sacred. I will not use this method very often with you so that you two can maintain that bond and your privacy."_

"John?" they suddenly heard Catherine quietly rasp.

"Darling," John sighed in relief in seeing her awake.

"What happened? I'm so tired," she reached out for him. John and Kestra both slid off their stools, and Kestra moved aside so John could pull Catherine into a comforting embrace.

"You collapsed while you were jogging. Dr. McCoy is running tests to determine what caused it, but your heart was in supraventricular tachycardia. We almost needed to perform cardioversion on you, but you finally responded to the adenosine," John explained before placing a kiss on her forehead and releasing her so she could lie back down on the biobed.

"John, the baby. Is the baby safe?"

"Yes, love, the baby is fine," he nodded.

"No thanks to me," she hissed turning her head away to avoid his gaze as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"Now, I will have none of that," John frowned and cupped her cheek turning her head gently to face him. "None of this is your fault. You had no control over your heart going into SVT."

"But I should have listened to you when you told me to stop. I never listen to you. Why don't you just make me listen to you? You could have stopped me, and this could have been prevented."

"Catherine, I would never force you to do something against your will," he frowned. "Yes, there was the time when we first met that I coerced you by threatening your life while training you, but I have not since and will not do it again."

"Catherine Mae, stop distressing the poor boy," Kestra scolded her as she walked around to the other side of the biobed. "He was worried sick about you."

"Where's Dad?" Catherine asked sleepily.

"He's on his way. He was in Pittsburgh taking care of some business."

"Oh, I see," she yawned. "I'm so tired. I can hardly keep my eyes open."

"Then go to sleep," John gently stroked her forehead. "Get some rest. They're allowing me to stay right here. I'm not going anywhere," he reassured her. "I'll even hum to you if you would like," he smiled tenderly.

"That would be nice," Catherine closed her eyes as John began gently stroking her arm and humming to her the Indian lullaby his mother sang to him as a child.

Soon enough, Catherine was asleep breathing deeply with an occasional quiet snore. Feeling at ease that she would pull through and finding himself more comfortable with his mother-in-law, John began conversing with Kestra about his childhood and reign as Khan in vivid detail and asked what Catherine was like as a child. Before Kestra could tell any potentially embarrassing stories about her daughter, Dr. McCoy returned to check on Catherine's progress.

"Did she regain consciousness at all while I was out?" the physician asked as he ran some scans on her.

"Yes, she was fully awake for a short time. Very tired, but she was able to have a meaningful conversation with us. She's exhausted, could barely stay awake. I advised her to go back to sleep," John explained.

"Dr. McCoy, have you determined what is wrong with my daughter?" Kestra knit her brow in concern.

"Catherine mentioned to me one day after nearly collapsing that she has had heart palpitations throughout her life that were previously considered by her physicians to be benign. Is this true?" Dr. McCoy asked.

"Yes, while sometimes uncomfortable, they never caused her much trouble. They seemed to get worse for her during times of great stress, final exams week and the like. One Betazoid cardiologist suggested having her wear a heart monitor for a week to see if anything popped up, but she decided against it as they never harmed her, at least not before this," Kestra recalled.

"While we can never know for sure since she decided to forgo the heart monitor, I have to wonder if she's been having episodes of SVT her whole life but was able to compensate in order to bring herself back into sinus rhythm. Did she ever do anything during these episodes of heart palpitations to try to alleviate her discomfort?"

"She usually would start plexing if they were really bothering her," Kestra noted. "But, come to think of it, she always looked like she was bearing down a little bit as well."

"Vagal maneuvers," John arched his brow. "Then she probably has been having episodes of SVT all this time. Why is she not able to compensate now, Dr. McCoy?"

"Her electrolyte levels are a mess, but from what I can tell, the fetus is doing well, thriving actually," Dr. McCoy reported.

"What exactly are you getting at?" John sighed.

"As it grows and gets larger, which he or she appears to be doing quite quickly, the child is leeching your wife of her electrolytes, nutrients, and energy which leads me to believe that in terms of genetics, the child is strongly Augment. It's a miracle that Catherine was even able to manage avoiding going into a severe episode of SVT before now with all the vomiting she did early on in the pregnancy and the extreme duress she was experiencing at the time. While you said that from what you know human women are capable of carrying Augment babies to full term, between her apparently fragile cardiac state, abnormal blood work, and the extreme stress she's been experiencing, Catherine is in danger of going into SVT again and perhaps even worse," Dr. McCoy explained.

"Can anything be done? My blood?" John wondered aloud.

"Your blood would only be a temporary fix as it has been in the past as the baby will only continue to grow. In regards to treatment, I feel there are two options that are the best for her right now. For the more conservative approach, we can try to give her supplemental doses of electrolytes and vitamins, put her on a calorie dense diet, and give her doses of anxiolytic medications as needed to counteract the stress she's experiencing with the hope that it will be adequate enough to get her through the trial and the pregnancy without further episodes of severe SVT. If that is the route we try first and it ends up being unsuccessful, I'll have no choice but to operate."

"Termination?" John's eyes widened.

"No, there is absolutely no need to abort the fetus," the doctor made it clear much to John's relief. "I would merely need to perform an ablation of the conduction pathway that is causing her heart to erroneously go into SVT. It's a rather simple and safe procedure with a short recovery time, but of course, I would prefer to reserve it for a last resort if the conservative measures fail."

"Dr. McCoy, what if she would rather just have the ablation done and over with instead of trying the supplements? With the trial coming up at any point in the near future, the stress might just be too much for her, and she'll want to be in the best condition possible when she's being interrogated. Shouldn't the decision ultimately be up to her?" Kestra questioned.

"You're right in that it is her decision," Dr. McCoy nodded. "I will present to her the options for her treatment and if she needs to hear them their risks and benefits as well and let her decide. I won't judge her regardless of which she chooses. She knows her body and its limitations the best."

"This is all my fault," John grimaced. "She would never be in such a fragile state or danger if it weren't for me. I was irresponsible, and now she's paying the price. I injected her with my blood not knowing the full repercussions of what might happen and gave into my own lust rather than putting her needs above my own fleshly desires."

"John, you know that's not true," Kestra sighed. "Neither of you knew that your blood would counteract her birth control, and you know full well that Catherine was a willing participant in what took place the day she conceived given her reaction to the injection. If she didn't trust you, she wouldn't have let you inject her with your blood in the first place, and she certainly wouldn't have given herself to you willingly. I have a feeling she even begged you, didn't she?" Kestra asked as she sensed John's thoughts. She also asked him based on what she learnt on a previous day from her daughter in regards to some of what occurred leading up to his and Catherine's coupling and her conceiving that fateful New Years Day.

"What?" he felt a bit shocked blushing ever so slightly at his mother-in-law's insinuation.

"A half-Betazoid with Augment blood coursing through her veins. No wonder she couldn't keep her hands off of you. She was never able to hide anything from me, you know. I know she was always chaste and have no doubt that she has only ever been with you, but I also know that she has always struggled with her potent Betazoid sexuality. Well, at least she has an outlet for that now and a nice one at that," Kestra smirked.

"Must everyone around here have public knowledge of our sex life?" John groaned looking back and forth between Kestra and Dr. McCoy.

"I'm sorry, dear. I've said too much. I forget that humans are not so frank about their sexuality as we Betazoids," Kestra apologized.

"Are you absolutely certain that she will be safe carrying the child to term?" John asked in order to change the subject at hand.

"Yes, of course," Dr. McCoy nodded. "There's no reason to even need to consider terminating the pregnancy. Why do you ask?"

"I just cannot bear the thought of losing her let alone losing her to my own seed. If that's what it came to and had to be done, I would authorize it."

"John, how could you even consider that?" Kestra gaped at him. "Catherine is very forgiving, but I do not think she could even possibly consider forgiving you if you did that without her consent."

"Do not mistake my cold decision for a lack of love or sentiment," John closed his eyes placing his hand on Catherine's baby bump and gently rubbing it. "I would die a prolonged and painful death for both of them if it meant that they would live long healthy and happy lives. You have no idea how relieved I am to hear that, although difficult on Catherine, they will both live and be just fine," John opened his eyes releasing a couple of tears.

"Dr. McCoy, would excuse us just a moment? John, come with me," Kestra walked to John's side and gently pulled him away to speak with him privately. "Little warrior, sweetheart, you're experiencing emotions you never really felt before, aren't you?" she quietly asked as she wiped the tears off of his cheeks. "It's okay, you can tell me. Despite my daughter's insistence that I am a blabbermouth, I can in fact keep secrets."

"I never cried much before in my life, not until I met Catherine," he sighed deeply. "And when I did discover myself shedding tears so often after she came into my world, I later blamed it on the influence of the eel larva in my head."

"And you're now realizing that wasn't really the case."

"I don't understand it. Is something wrong with me? Have I lost my mind? Or did the larva really do permanent damage to my frontal lobe that Dr. McCoy's sensors cannot detect?"

"No, there's nothing wrong with you. You've merely changed, John. I sense that some barrier within your heart has broken. Did you grieve for your mother and brother after losing them?"

"The more I think back upon it, no, I do not recall having a proper chance to express my grief. After their deaths, our lives quickly erupted into chaos, and my sister Kati and I were only children at the time. I do not think we were able to fully process or comprehend what was going on around us. It would also be the first of several times, but Kati was almost separated from me and sent away to another eugenics project. Even after I somehow managed to convince our new caretakers to keep us together despite only being a child, they immediately started performing experiments on me and training me to become Khan. They were brutal, and under different circumstances, they likely would have been charged with child abuse for what they did to me. So, I suppose that instead of grief, I ended up feeling anger, pain, and rage within my heart during such a difficult upheaval in my life. What does this have to do with Catherine and the here and now?" he looked at Kestra with confusion written on his face.

"I believe that some very old and very deep wounds that you probably thought were now only scars on your heart have been torn wide open, John. Your relationship and bond with Catherine are likely the cause. Lately, I'm sure her pregnancy hormones are giving you a rough time, too. You're finally expressing the grief you felt all those years ago. And, since that barrier is broken, other types of tears are able to freely flow now as well," Kestra explained.

"I had even warned Catherine that I would probably not cry much after the eel larva was out of my head, but here I am a weak and broken, hurting man full of raw emotion," he frowned looking down at his feet feeling ashamed.

"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not a mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition and of unspeakable love," she hugged him gently patting his back.

"Washington Irving?"

"Yes, my well-read dear. Let your tears falls, little warrior, lest you drown in them. We're all here for you, especially Catherine."

"She is always ever faithful to me, but if anything, she needs me to be strong for her right now. Regardless of what you tell me, I still cannot help but feel guilt for what has befallen her, and I do not only mean her troublesome pregnancy but all of this, the trial, tarnishing her and her reputation, everything that has happened these past few months. I do not want to burden her further with my own plights. Ever since we met, all she has ever done is worry about me, and now it is my turn to be there for her."

"John, you know she'll be able to tell if something is bothering you," Kestra cautioned him.

"I know," he nodded. "I'm doing my best to maintain my composure."

"Just be careful. Find an outlet for yourself, your emotions. I would not want to see you have a breakdown."

"Certainly, I would be of no use to Catherine in such a state." John sighed thinking a moment before asking, "Why do you call me your little warrior? I'm not exactly little."

"When I was young before I met my Dylan, I once knew a tall, handsome warrior named John. Oh, he utterly adored me. We went everywhere, simply everywhere. You remind me of him a bit. Also, although you're not little and almost 300 years old, you are very childlike in some ways. You're so intelligent, and yet you have so much to learn about yourself, your emotions, and even your humanity. I cannot even begin to imagine the struggle you must feel trying to find your way in our time without even feeling like you fully know or understand yourself. I know that I can never replace your mother, nor is that something that I desire, but I would be honored if you would allow me to help guide you on your way when you feel uncertainty in your heart. I'm sure Catherine has been a great help to you in this area, but as you said, you do not want to burden her too much with your concerns especially right now. What do you think?" Kestra smiled.

"Thank you," John nodded in agreement with her offer. "I hope that I do not disappoint you further than you must already be in regards to my past behavior, but I will do my best to make you proud."

"I am proud of you, and despite the bad things that you have done, John, your mother no doubt would have been proud of you, too. In your time, you brought peace to your lands, sought justice for the innocent, and ruled fairly. And here in our time, you protected the helpless, stopped a madman and his unethical practices, worked to prevent him from starting a war which no doubt would have brought about the deaths of many innocents, and have humbly stepped forward taking responsibility for the blood you have shed. And although in the big picture it sounds selfish, you've made my daughter a very happy woman, saved her from the loneliness and boredom she refused to admit that she was experiencing, and have created life within her womb. Being a mother myself, I am confident that your mother would have been as proud of you as I am. Dear child, I love you as if you were my own," she pulled him down so she could kiss him on the forehead.

"I don't know what to say," John furrowed his brow.

"It's alright, little warrior. I know you're still not accustomed to all of these emotions and sentiments. Believe it or not, even I cannot sometimes find words suitable to express myself. Come, let us see how our Catherine is doing," she pulled his hand and led him back to Catherine's bedside where Dr. McCoy was still monitoring her. "Don't be surprised if she fusses over me giving you advice. I can hear her already, 'Mother, you're not helping by giving him a lot of mixed messages!'" she mimicked her daughter causing John to smile. "Well, I exposed her to all sorts of mixed messages as a child, and she still turned out deadly dull. I love my little one desperately, but sometimes she does make everything sound like an epitaph," she continued on causing John to laugh.

"John, it's so good to hear you laughing even if it is at my expense," Catherine chimed in sleepily with a weak smile on her face.

"How are you feeling now?" John asked taking her hand.

"Still tired, but much improved," she looked at him lovingly.

"Hello, everyone," Dylan Troi sheepishly joined the group as he had arrived from his business trip to Pittsburgh. "How are you, honey?" he kissed Catherine on the cheek.

"Okay, I guess, despite something being wrong with my heart. Dr. McCoy, have you found anything to explain my condition?" Catherine looked to the physician hoping he had an answer.

"Yes, from the workup I performed and from what your mother and husband here have relayed to me, I believe that you may have been experiencing episodes of supraventricular tachycardia throughout your life. It seems that between plexing and vagal maneuvers, you previously were able to compensate and kick yourself back into sinus rhythm. At this time, however, between the stress you're experiencing and your pregnancy, your previous method of compensation is no longer effective," Dr. McCoy summarized his findings.

"Why is my pregnancy an issue?" she arched her brow. "The baby's healthy, right?"

"Yes, the baby is fine, but for you and your heart right now, that's the problem. Your electrolytes are a mess, and your lab work makes you look like you're starving although you've been eating normally as of late. Without performing actual testing but given this information, I believe your child is genetically very much an Augment."

"So, if I understand this correctly, my little one has quite an appetite and this is contributing to my heart going into SVT."

"That is what I believe is happening," Dr. McCoy nodded.

"What are our options?" she asked as with one hand she took hold of John's hand and squeezed it and with the other rubbed her baby bump.

" _Why must you both always think the worst?"_  Kestra frowned thinking to herself while looking at John and Catherine.

"Conservatively we can supplement your diet and give you anxiolytic medication to try to boost your electrolyte, nutrient, and energy levels to get you to term and to alleviate your stress during the trial. If that does not work or if you would prefer, I can perform an ablation to correct the errant conduction pathway in your heart that causes it to go into SVT in the first place. If you want, I can go into detail about the risks and benefits of each treatment. I personally recommend trying conservative means first, but the decision is ultimately yours."

"Can I think over it a little?"

"Of course, but you should try to make your decision soon preferably by tomorrow sometime. For now, why don't we get you something to eat?" Dr. McCoy suggested.

"Sure, I'm really hungry," Catherine smiled. "My little one apparently is hungry, too."

With Dr. McCoy's permission, John helped Catherine sit up and dangle her feet off to the side of the biobed and wrapped a blanket around her shoulders to keep her warm. He then sat beside her and wrapped his arms around her.  _"I was so frightened that I was going to lose you,"_ John kissed her on the temple.

" _That's what my mother said. I was so scared that something was wrong with the baby and that it was my fault,"_ Catherine nuzzled into his chest.

" _I would never hold that against you, Catherine,"_  he reassured her.  _"Your mother is a lovely woman. She's quite interesting."_

" _Yes, she is definitely different,"_ she smiled.

" _She has been very kind to me, and she has a lot of insight into the emotions I have been experiencing. I must admit that I was starting to wonder if something was wrong with me, but she reassured me that what I am feeling is normal. I feel a bit relieved to know that I could trust her and your father and that she would be able to handle raising our child if that's what is needed. Anyways, what would you like to eat?"_

" _Whatever, you can pick this time. I'm always choosing for you,"_  she lightly nudged him in the ribs.

" _Very well, my Khanum. Your wish is my command,"_  he scooted off the bed and bowed in front of her slightly with a mischievous grin on his face.

John soon returned with a dish of kheer and pineapple, and after placing it on a tray table, he wheeled it in front of her. "Good choice. Safe, but good," she picked up her spoon to start eating the rice pudding.

"I figured that they would be a gentle start after all you've been through. Comfort food," he again sat next to her and began rubbing her back.

Having eaten her fill of the food John had brought her, Catherine started to scoot off the biobed. "Where are my clothes?"

"You need to stay here for now. You're not well enough to go back to our quarters yet," John slid off the biobed and positioned her back on the bed.

"No, I want to go back to our room," she shook her head.

"You're still too weak."

"I am going back to our room!" she shouted and knocked over the tray table causing the dishes to crash to the floor.

Standing between her legs, John gently put his hands on Catherine's arms trying to keep her from getting off of the biobed. "Darling, neither Dr. McCoy nor I will let you leave until you are stable. Don't worry, I will stay right here with you," he gently rubbed his thumbs in circles on her arms.

She reached down, pulled out her IV, and threw the tubing to the side as a small amount of blood started to trickle down her arm from where the IV had been inserted. "Let me go, John," she growled.

"Catherine, please be reasonable," he quietly tried to plead with her squeezing her arms a little tighter.

"Shut up, John! Let me go!" Despite his gentle requests, Catherine shook her arms free of his grasp, and glaring at him, slapped him across the face with a loud smack that everyone in the infirmary could hear causing them to look in their direction. John looked at her through a few strands of hair that she knocked loose with shock written on his face. Knowing that she caused him little to no physical pain, Catherine slapped his other cheek as hard as she could. "I hate you! You fucking bastard!"

"Catherine Mae, watch your language! Shame on you!" Kestra started to scold her before her husband hushed her.

"They have to sort this out themselves, Imzadi," Dylan whispered to her.

"This is your fault, you son of a bitch! You Augment freak! Why did you do this to me?" Catherine started to cry angrily as she continued to slap him. Still noting no change in John's countenance, she turned to using her fists. After punching him a couple of times, she balled up her fists tighter and began hitting him angrily in the chest before succumbing to exhaustion and crumbling into a sobbing pile in his arms. "I can't do this anymore! I just can't!"

"Shh," John held her tightly and rubbed her back. The biobed's monitor was thumping frantically as her heart raced from her display of anger.

Dr. McCoy walked up behind her, and with a nod from John, injected her in the neck with a hypospray of an anxiolytic medication to calm her down lest she throw herself into SVT once again. He then drew a curtain around the biobed to conceal them both. "Let's give them some privacy to work this out," the doctor explained to her startled parents.

"I just want it to be over already," Catherine quietly cried into John's chest as she clutched onto the fabric of his shirt. "I can't stand this sitting around waiting to find out what is going to happen to us. I would rather them just hand us out our punishments than have to wait any longer for this fucking trial to start."

"Let it out, Imzadi. What else is bothering you? You have nothing to hide."

"I kept running despite your warnings and against my better judgment because I felt that I had to prove to myself that I am strong. I'm so tired of feeling so weak, helpless. Everyone, including you, keeps telling me that I am strong, but it's a lie. I'm not strong, John. I'm not strong at all. I can put on a brave face and bullshit to no end on how we need to stick together and that everything will be fine. Really, though, I'm scared to death and exhausted most of the time, and now on top of everything I'm sick," she pulled away from his chest to look at him. "And now I've hurt you. Oh how I hurt you, my love," she gently stroked his cheeks which were slightly pink from her slaps.

"You know that you cannot hurt me," John closed his eyes trying to remain in control of his emotions.

"Physically? No, it would take a lot for me to manage maiming you in some way. And emotionally? John, you know I can sense what you're feeling. I shouldn't have said and called you such horrible things. I know that my words hurt you deeply just now," she put a hand over his heart as his tears began to flow. "You're not a freak," she reassured him recalling his being bullied as a child.

"I know you didn't really mean it," he whispered. "You're going through quite a lot right now."

"It doesn't excuse my behavior towards you. After everything we've been through together, everything we've shared, how could I be so cruel? Please forgive me."

"Of course, I forgive you, Imzadi. You mean everything to me. I could never let a petty squabble like this get between us. Not after nearly losing you more than once now. After all, you belong to me. I chose you. You are mine, and I refuse to let you go so easily," he rumbled in her ear causing her to tremble. "You find that appealing?"

"Yes, quite," she managed to gasp.

"I'm tempted to mark your flesh with my mouth to remind you and everyone else that you belong to me, but right now given your condition and situation, it would be inappropriate," he winked. "We better let everyone know that we're okay and have mended things," he went to pull away.

"Wait!" Catherine grabbed his arm. "I'm so sorr-"

Knowing that she was going to apologize, John placed his fingertips over her lips stopping her short. "I know. It's alright now," he smiled gently. "Besides, after all those times I physically hurt you, I had it coming."

"Then let me show you how I feel," she pleaded. After John nodded with consent, Catherine wiped away what remained of his tears and pushed back the hair she had knocked loose. Wrapping her arms around his neck pulling him close, she placed a few gentle kisses where she had struck him before passionately kissing him on the lips. John soon enough responded and kissed her back strongly. Having shared a brief moment of ardor, she pulled back and announced, "I've decided on a treatment."

"I support whichever treatment you have chosen. I believe they are both safe and reasonable approaches to treating your condition, and I will help you in any way that I can," he leaned his forehead on her own.

"I want Dr. McCoy to perform the ablation. I just want to be done with it and not have to worry about my health during the trial. It's safe and easy, and I'm sure that if everyone agrees to it, an injection of your blood will provide me with an extra boost to get well and back on my feet sooner."

"I am in agreement with all that you propose. I must admit in that I feel as if I have somehow failed you. With all the infusions of my blood you've received, they've never corrected your heart condition. I am at a complete loss as to why that is the case."

"Maybe it is something related to my half-Betazoid physiology. Some sort of genetic incompatibility?"

"Perhaps. You know, I would give you my own heart if I knew it would help."

"You've already given me your heart," she smiled. "Oh!" gasped suddenly.

"What is it? What's wrong? Are you in pain?" John knit his brow in concern.

"No, I'm fine. Here," she took his hand and placed it over her swollen abdomen. "Did you feel it?"

"Is that our child?" he looked at her with his eyes wide open full of wonder.

"Yes," she grinned. "And if you still had any doubts remaining, it must definitely be your child and very much Augment. I won't be surprised if our little one decides to come earlier than a Betazoid or even a human child. It's a tad bit early even for human pregnancy for me to notice any kicking yet."

"Kati did not make it to nine months gestation. I was worried at first about Luca's prematurity, but from the start, he was strong and healthy. I think our child will be just fine if you go into labor earlier than expected. Catherine!" John gasped and started laughing feeling their child kicking his hand once again.

"Is everything okay in here?" Dr. McCoy poked his head in between the curtains.

"Yes, doctor, we're quite alright," John beamed.

"Just experiencing some quickening, Dr. McCoy," Catherine smiled.

"Quickening, already? Fascinating. God, I'm starting to sound like Spock," Dr. McCoy started to scan her. "Fetus size would indicate that the timing would be right. Are you sure you didn't conceive at an earlier date?"

"I have no reason to believe otherwise. I became overwhelmingly nauseous that very day. We thought it was just from me having a reaction to John's blood, but really I think my hormones were thrown into overdrive due to such a radical conception," Catherine reasoned.

"My sister's pregnancy did not last nine months, and my nephew was completely healthy. I think it is logical to conclude that Augment pregnancies are slightly shorter than that of a human," John added.

"Well, we'll just plan for an early arrival. Do the two of you need more time to smooth things over?"

"No, we're fine now," Catherine pulled John close and winked at Dr. McCoy. "And I've decided to go with the ablation. John and I believe that an infusion of his blood will help move things along a little better as well."

"Are you absolutely certain this is what you want to do?"

"Yes, we're both in agreement with proceeding with the ablation," John nodded.

"Very well, if you are stable enough, we'll do it first thing in the morning," the doctor agreed as he opened and pulled back the curtain from around the biobed before walking away.

Kestra and Dylan rejoined the couple at Catherine's bedside. "Such language, Catherine," Kestra frowned shaking her head.

"I'm sorry, mother, for my language, my outburst, and the mess I made. I've developed a bit of a dirty mouth these past few months," Catherine grimaced.

"In her defense, today is the first time I've heard her drop the proverbial 'F-bomb,'" John smirked.

"I plan on cleaning up my language, mother, especially with our little one on the way."

"It's okay, dear," Kestra hugged her. "I was just a bit shocked. So, you've decided on the ablation?" she asked sensing her daughter's thoughts.

"Yes, if I'm well enough, Dr. McCoy is going to do it tomorrow morning."

"How do you feel about that?" Dylan asked.

"It's silly as I'm a nurse and should know better, but honestly, I'm afraid," she squeaked out as tears gathered in her eyes.

"There's nothing wrong with being afraid, Imzadi," John sat beside her on the biobed once again wrapping his arms around her. "I will be here and be the last thing you see when you are sedated and go to sleep and be the first thing you see when you wake up. I've got plenty of blood to spare in the event that it's needed. We're all here for you. Both of you," he smiled rubbing her belly.

"I love you all, John, Mum, Dad," she kissed John on the cheek and then hugged her parents. "Well, I better let them get a new IV in me and get some rest to make sure I'm ready for tomorrow."

Late that evening, Dr. McCoy rechecked her labs, and satisfied that they were within normal limits, he verified that they would proceed with the procedure the next day. "I'll see you both in the morning," he bid the couple goodnight as her parents had already left.

"Can I get you anything?" John asked as he tucked some of Catherine's curls behind her ear.

"No, I'm fine. You should get some sleep. I put you through quite a lot today. Thank you for staying with me despite everything. A lesser man would have walked away, but you are superior," she smiled. "Hold me? It's a tight fit, but your body won't interfere with the biobed's scans."

"Of course," John squeezed onto the biobed with her and held on to her tightly. "Sleep well, Imzadi."

"Goodnight, John."

The next day, the procedure went as planned, and by the evening, Dr. McCoy deemed Catherine to be well and stable enough to return to her quarters with John. Having tucked her into their bed and ensuring that she was comfortable, John caught up on his reading briefly before joining her.

"How are you feeling?" he asked when they awoke in the morning.

"A little tired, but otherwise I feel pretty good. Dr. McCoy was very happy with the results of the ablation yesterday. A couple of days of rest, and I should be just about back to my baseline. How are you doing?" she kissed the tip of his nose.

"Me? I am fine," he answered arching his brow. When he received a slight glare from Catherine with his response, he then added, "Okay, being honest, I am very relieved. I was just as anxious as you were about the procedure even though I did not admit it at the time. I am more than pleased that everything went well."

"Thank you again for all of your support and most importantly your love. I wasn't being very lovable when I went off on you like I did. I know it took a lot for you not to lose your patience with me."

"If it wasn't for all the negative emotions we were experiencing at the time, I might have actually found you hitting me to be somewhat arousing," he purred in her ear.

"Really? I'll have to remember that," she grinned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will finally be the trial...


	34. Calm Before the Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listening track selections: "Darker Side" by RHODES and "The Problems of Your Future" by David Arnold and Michael Price

Both Catherine and John were relieved as they noted her regaining her strength after Dr. McCoy had completed the ablation procedure to correct the erroneous conduction pathway in her heart that was causing her to experience episodes of severe supraventricular tachycardia and subsequently lose consciousness. During this brief time period, the board of inquiry suspended their sessions of questioning the couple so that John could tend to Catherine while she worked on getting well again. Besides his usual possessiveness, John also started to display overprotective behaviors and was almost constantly at Catherine's side eager to meet her every need. Despite feeling a bit smothered by his attentiveness, Catherine remained patient with him knowing that he had been quite worried about her health.

During her recovery, Catherine became accustomed to awaking only to find John nuzzling his head into her shoulder and gently rubbing her baby bump while whispering, singing, or humming quietly to their unborn child. She would feign still being asleep in order to prevent interrupting his one-sided conversation until the child would begin vigorously kicking away inside of her in response to his or her father.

"Our little one takes great pleasure in hearing your voice," Catherine smiled sleepily one morning in response to the little kicks coming from inside her womb. "He or she always gets very excited during your little morning discussions. What would you like him or her to call you?"

"Papa," John looked up at her and smiled. "It is not only used in English but also means 'daddy' in Punjabi. And what are you to be called by our child?"

"Oh, I don't know. Mummy?"

"I'm not sure if I've ever said anything like this in my life, but that is adorable," he chuckled. "You will make a wonderful mum."

"Did you ever think about domestic life during your time as Khan? Was it something you wanted?"

"Deep down, yes, I believe it was something that I desired, but by the time I was old enough to be able to settle down and to consider it we were plunged into war. My needs and wishes had to be put on hold, and despite the loneliness of sleeping in a tent on the battlefield many nights, my thoughts at the time were consumed with the safety of my people, battle plans, and war strategy. Now that you are in my life, I realize how lonely I truly was during my reign," he frowned recalling the many cold and lonely nights he spent during the Eugenics Wars.

"It can be lonely at the top, and it is not good for a man to be alone," she agreed. "So, exactly how many languages can you speak?"

"Hindi, Punjabi, and English are my primary languages. During my time at university, I also became quite fluent in French, Spanish, Latin, and German. My rule as Khan led me to learn an adequate amount of survival Italian, Greek, Serbian, Russian, Swahili, Arabic, Mandarin and Cantonese Chinese, and Japanese to carry on a discussion well enough. I've also picked up some Vulcan and Klingon during my time in Section 31."

"John, you're simply amazing. You really are a genius," she gasped.

"A genius that feels like a total idiot when it comes to matters of the heart," he grunted.

"You're not an idiot!" she swatted him playfully. "I will never be as proficient in learning other languages as you, but I would very much like for you to teach me some basic phrases in your native tongue someday. Perhaps you can teach our child and me together."

"I would greatly enjoy that, Imzadi."

A few days after the procedure, Dr. McCoy gave Catherine permission to start light exercise. With his approval and at John's suggestion, she decided to take up basic yoga poses and t'ai chi. Having been trained and having regularly practiced both disciplines during his life, John was eager to teach and guide Catherine while monitoring her with a tricorder on loan from Dr. McCoy.

"How was my form today?" Catherine asked John one morning as she finished the routine he created specifically for her.

"Beautiful," he wiped some sweat off her brow. "Your vital signs were picture perfect as well. You are getting stronger, too. You are a natural. Ling would be very impressed with how quickly you have picked up on t'ai chi."

"Ling?"

"Suzette Ling, one of my most faithful followers and closest friends."

"Oh right, I remember her now. She was one of the first few cryotubes we transferred into the torpedoes after Kati and Luca," Catherine recalled.

"She taught me all she knows about the Chinese martial art of t'ai chi. I, in exchange, taught her yoga. She still doesn't care for it as much," he grinned as the door chime to their quarters sounded. "I'll go see who is here," John handed her the towel he used to wipe away her sweat.

As the door opened, John found himself gazing at Dr. Smith who was standing with a cane in one hand and leaning on the doorway with the other. "Commander Harrison," Luke smiled and greeted him.

"Dr. Smith, please, come inside," John offered.

"Thank you," Luke took an unsteady step before John quickly wrapped his arm around his waist to stabilize him and provide him with additional support. "I'm still not quite back to full strength," he sighed and laughed nervously.

"Luke!" Catherine beamed and also offered her assistance upon noting his presence. "You're still a wreck! What are you doing here? Did they kick you out of the hospital?" she teased as they helped him sit down.

"No, I've been home for a couple weeks now and have been going faithfully to my physical, occupational, and speech therapy appointments. Like right now, however, I've noted my walking and balance are much worse when I'm tired, but Sarah has been a great help to me. She's visiting with some family here in town while I'm meeting with you. Oh well, that's enough about me. Look at you! Dr. McCoy told me about the troubles you've been having, but it seems that you've hopefully turned a corner and will have a much better time of it now that he performed the ablation. Needless to say, I was a bit surprised when he told me about your pregnancy," Luke grinned.

"Sorry that I didn't tell you outright. I myself was a bit shocked when I discovered it, and I really didn't know what to do or who to tell," Catherine frowned.

"It's alright, Catherine. You were going through quite a lot at the time. All that matters is that you are both healthy," Luke reassured her.

"Thank you for looking after her in my absence. I am sorry that my actions resulted in your injuries," John apologized. "You only were ever a help to us, and yet you had to suffer for our cause because of me."

"Harrison, it's alright," Luke held up his hand to stop him from continuing. "Dr. McCoy told me about the eel larva, and I believe you were not fully in your right mind. Ultimately, I blame Marcus for what happened that day in London, not you. I know firsthand what you both went through and even experienced Marcus' cruelty myself when I was interrogated. Why else would I be here to speak on your behalf?" he smiled.

The door chime to John and Catherine's quarters once again sounded, and this time, Catherine answered the door finding herself to be greeted by Dr. McCoy and a nurse with a wheelchair. Knowing why he was there, she turned to John and Luke and announced, "Time for my checkup. I'll be back later." Grinning at Dr. McCoy she asked, "Still don't trust me to walk all the way to the infirmary on my own power yet even though you have me exercising?"

"No, not yet, my dear. Now hop in the chair," Dr. McCoy motioned to the wheelchair.

"As you wish," she sat down as he had indicated. As the nurse wheeled Catherine down the hallway with Dr. McCoy walking beside them, she noted, "You're not really picking me up for an exam today, are you?"

"How the hell could you tell?" Dr. McCoy grumbled.

"You're anxious. More than usual," she giggled. "What's going on?"

"Someone wants to talk to you. Another patient of mine," he answered vaguely.

"Captain Kirk," she sighed. "Which means the trial will be starting soon, no doubt."

Dr. McCoy didn't say anything but nodded his head somberly. The three finally reached their destination and entered the designated room. The room was similar to the one where the board of inquiry met with John and Catherine during their sessions, but it was different in that it had large glass windows lining the outer wall. As the nurse wheeled Catherine inside with Dr. McCoy in tow, she noted a man also seated in a wheelchair looking out the windows. "Jim, we're here," Dr. McCoy announced.

The seated man in the wheelchair slowly spun around and wheeled up to the table where the nurse had deposited Catherine. "Captain," Catherine went to stand to show respect to her most recent commanding officer.

"No, please, lieutenant, sit down," Kirk motioned and placed his hands on the table.

"Thank you, nurse. I'll contact you when we're finished," Dr. McCoy dismissed the nurse and sat down beside Catherine across from Kirk.

"Dr. McCoy told me about your little health scare. How are you feeling?" Kirk asked with what she sensed to be genuine concern.

"I'm feeling much better. The best I've felt in the past few months actually. I am glad to see that you are doing well. If it weren't for you, we wouldn't be alive right now. Thank you," Catherine looked down feeling a bit nervous.

"Uh, you're welcome," Kirk responded before falling silent.

"Sir, what is it that you want to speak with me about?" Catherine quietly asked finally breaking the silence.

"Look," Kirk sighed, "I know that your husband and I are not on very good terms right now, and if I were to be honest, it's mostly my fault. I used him and then betrayed him on the  _Vengeance_  by having Scotty take him down once we gained control of the ship. What I did to him was no different than Admiral Marcus. Despite my nagging conscience and Spock telling me otherwise, I was so desperate that I went against everything I believed in order to achieve my goals. Khan was responsible for the death of Admiral Pike, the man who probably believed in me the most. Admiral Pike believed in giving people second chances. Not only do I think your husband deserves a second chance, but I ask that you both give me a second chance, too."

"I personally have nothing to hold against you, however, I think that you need to speak to John about your concerns. I would be more than willing to mediate such a conversation if you desire to have it at some point," Catherine offered.

"I will consider it," Kirk nodded. "We clearly got to know very different sides of your husband. What is he really like, or rather, what is he like when he's with you?"

"Sir, I'm not completely sure how to answer your question," she hesitated.

"What drew you to him? What is your relationship with him like? I want to understand him better. Admiral Marcus' opinion of him cannot be considered accurate, and as Khan himself was rather guarded while in my custody, I want to learn about him from someone that can be trusted."

"Captain Kirk, this is the first time we've even met. Why do you feel that you can trust me? Have you heard with what I'm being charged and for what I will be tried in the very near future now that you're well enough to testify? At the moment, in the eyes of Starfleet, the Federation, and apparently, from what I've seen in the news, a large portion of the public, I am a criminal," she sighed.

"Catherine, do not forget that you are both considered innocent until proven guilty. This is a right granted to all Federation citizens," Dr. McCoy reminded her in hopes of encouraging her.

"But John could be considered a non-citizen of the Federation being from a different time. Even Spock noted that. What if they try to tear him apart for his actions during the Eugenics Wars?"

"Lieutenant, I will do everything in my power to make sure that your husband gets treated fairly. Although from a different time, Khan is still a citizen of Earth, and that should count for something. Starfleet-"

"Starfleet!" Catherine shouted with her voice trembling interrupting Kirk. "John and I worked under Starfleet! Through Admiral Marcus it was Starfleet that tortured John, held his family hostage threatening to kill them, and forced John to do horrible things to carry out Marcus' dirty work! Yes, I used to believe in Starfleet. I used to believe that the United Federation of Planets and its beloved Starfleet were just a peacekeeping and humanitarian armada, and I was proud, very proud, to be a member of that noble cause. I honestly don't know what to believe anymore. Humanitarian? How could anyone allow something like what happened to John and his fellow Augments, who are full-blooded humans like you and me, and say that it was for the good of the Federation let alone mankind? John and I suffered and bled for Starfleet, willingly and unwillingly, and now we're the ones being led to the slaughterhouse. And what of our child?" she held her hands to her stomach. "John and I are not so concerned about what happens to us, but our innocent child, our very own flesh and blood, will ultimately be the one that is punished and suffer for our supposed crimes! Shit!" she swore and broke down sobbing laying her head on the table.

Captain Kirk, a bit taken aback with her breakdown, looked to Dr. McCoy with his mouth agape unsure what to say or do for the sobbing woman. Dr. McCoy frowned back to his commanding officer whom he also considered as a friend before pulling out a hypospray of an anxiolytic medication and injecting it into her arm. As she started to calm down, the doctor gently patted her on the back before getting up and retrieving a box of tissues for her to dry her tears and blow her nose. "Take a deep breath," he advised her.

"I'm sorry," Catherine blushed slightly and apologized. "I wasn't planning for or expecting that to happen."

"There is no need to apologize, lieutenant," Kirk smiled gently. "I can't blame you for feeling the way you do. I myself have had my doubts about Starfleet through all of this, but I truly hope that the other top Starfleet brass were neither knowledgeable of Section 31 nor promoted its activities."

"Section 31," she hissed. "I feel filthy and used having been a part of it. By the time I knew something wasn't right, it was too late, and I too involved emotionally. John even tried to convince me to transfer out of the organization once, but I couldn't just leave him and the others behind not knowing what would happen to them. You can't just leave behind someone you love."

"No, certainly can't do that," Kirk agreed thinking of when he broke the Prime Directive to rescue Spock on Nibiru. "If you are feeling up to it now and are comfortable with it, could you please tell me about your husband?"

"Of course," Catherine nodded. "In my opinion, John is very magnetic, enigmatic. I was drawn to him immediately, both his personality and physique. All of his emotions are intense and passionate: anger, hate, grief, pain, and love. I have probably witnessed him express every emotion possible. He is physically stronger than the average man, and yet he is equally as gentle. I will be honest in that I have experienced both pain and comfort from his hands, but definitely more often than not love and comfort," she flashed a quick smile. "He is a proud man afraid of showing weakness. He tries his best to appear invincible, but I recently learned that I am fully capable of hurting him with my words. I know a lot of what his life was like during his childhood and his reign as Khan, but I know that there is also much more that he hasn't told me about what he suffered at the hands of his caretakers and his role in the Eugenics Wars. Really, I'm okay with that because I trust him. I know he is capable of doing horrible things. Actually, I know without a doubt that he has done terrible things both then and now. I ultimately believe, however, that although he will always carry his identity of Khan and all that it means within his heart, John is a different man and regrets his transgressions against mankind. He deeply regrets and wishes he could forget. He beats himself up constantly for his recent mistakes that have brought others pain even though he was under the influence of Marcus and that eel larva leaving him not fully in control of his actions. Currently, I know he does nothing but worry about our family, our child, and me. He also fears the possibility of war with the Klingons and cannot bear the thought of children, human and non-human alike, suffering. John Noonien Singh was born into a bloody, war-torn world. His mother Dr. Sarina Kaur bred him to be better than us and bore him herself as a surrogate in hopes that he would lead the world to peace one day. Dr. Kaur died for her cause, and although only a child when she died, John was intelligent enough to know her wishes for him. John suffered then and now under human hands for being different, an Augment. He never wants to see anyone subjected to anything he and his kind experienced ever again. Other than myself, I believe only Commander Spock can fully understand the pain that John carries within his heart which has spurred him to continue fighting for his family and for peace these past few months."

"You seem to be quite confident in his change of heart. What do you think brought about this change?" Kirk asked.

"If you were to ask John, I know he would give me the credit. Really what it comes down to is pure love and acceptance, something that anyone could have shown to him and not only me. I just happened to be the first non-Augment to accept him completely with his faults and all and to show him that I loved him unconditionally. I showed him that I cared. During his whole life, humans have treated him like he is some kind of freak or just a tool to be used and then tossed aside. I treated him as a person with a heart and soul. After that initial barrier was broken, he has gradually come to trust others like Dr. Smith and now my parents. He particularly seems to be developing a special relationship with my mother who isn't human but fully Betazoid. I feel so honored that he chose me as his wife and to be my Imzadi. I share such a deep connection with him that no one else can fully share or even understand, and in the end, through that connection is how I know without a doubt that he is no longer the same man he was when Admiral Marcus found him on the  _Botany Bay_ ," she smiled somewhat peacefully thinking of the love she and John had for each other. "I hope this helps you to understand John and our relationship a little bit better."

"It does. You clearly love him very much. This has been very enlightening." Captain Kirk shifted uncomfortably in his wheelchair.

"What is bothering you, sir?" she asked sensing his inner turmoil.

"It's easy to dehumanize someone whom you've been told is nothing but a criminal or a monster. I'm afraid that I have been guilty of that in regards to your husband Khan. Marcus painted him as a heartless terrorist at our meeting at the Daystrom Institute, and then when he attacked us there causing the death of my friend Admiral Pike, that was what cemented my opinion of him as someone who deserved to die. The room was in a state of chaos. People were injured and screaming in fear and pain. After I disabled his jump ship and he started beaming out of it, he looked at me with such a cold expression. It made me so angry because I believed he felt nothing, no remorse for what he had just did. I begged Admiral Marcus to let me go after him and take him down. If it weren't for the fact that he saved our asses on Kronos, I probably would have happily killed him, but I was so confused as to why he saved us. And even though after I found out about his crew and what Marcus had done to him, I still distrusted him and used him. Yet, despite all that, he saved my life by insisting that Bones give me infusions of his blood," Kirk shook his head in disgust at himself.

"You feel guilty because, although we consider ourselves to be more advanced and evolved than those that lived during John's time, you feel as if you are no different than all of those who have mistreated him throughout his entire life," Catherine observed.

"Yeah," he nodded his head. "I was such an ass, and ultimately, it almost cost the lives of every single one of my crew including you and your baby."

"Captain, we've all made mistakes in regards to this entire incident including me. Yes, John has changed, but I have changed as well. John has at times expressed fear that he has sullied me somehow," she shook her head and laughed. "What it comes down to is that we're all human and flawed whether we like it or not. If anything, we have all learned from this experience. Despite what happens to John and me, I only hope that out of all of this, our family gets the justice they deserve and that no one ever has to encounter anything like this ever again."

"I agree. Well, thank you for speaking with me. Rest assured, I will not speak negatively against either of you during my testimony in your upcoming trial. I will merely answer any questions they ask of me," he reassured her.

"Thank you," Catherine nodded. "Well, I suppose we will see you in the next few days."

"Yes, the Federation Council will be notifying us soon of the official stardate when your trial will commence."

"The Federation Council? I was under the impression that Starfleet was going to be handling this as Section 31 was an internal matter," she noted. "I was ready to face a court martial."

"Given the extensive nature of what took place and the fact that Khan participated in an attack on a non-Federation planet, Kronos, the Federation President believes that the council would be more appropriate to handle this," Kirk explained.

"I see," she sighed. "I'm not sure what to feel about that. The council usually only takes on cases when the most serious of crimes have been committed."

"Lieutenant, I know that after learning this things may seem grim for Khan and you right now and that it may feel like everyone is against you, but please rest assured that there are people including myself that are going to do everything we can to ensure that you are both treated fairly," he reached across the table and squeezed her hand. "Besides, even though I just met you, you're still one of my crew. You're stuck with me now," he winked causing Dr. McCoy to roll his eyes.

"I only hope that the council members listen with open hearts and minds just as you did today," Catherine knit her brow in worry. "Thank you, though, both of you," she squeezed both Dr. McCoy's and Kirk's hands, "for all that you have done and will be doing on our behalf."

"You're welcome," they both replied.

"Well, if we're all done, I'd like to go back to John now. I'm getting better, but I'm still working on getting back my previous energy level. Besides, I think that I should let him know what's soon to come so that he can start preparing himself mentally and emotionally."

After getting a nod from Captain Kirk, Dr. McCoy stood up, "Sure kiddo, I'll just go ahead and take you back to your quarters rather than waiting on the nurse."

Just as Dr. McCoy was about to wheel her out of the room, "Oh, and lieutenant!" Kirk called after them. "Best of luck to both of you."

"Thanks, and you can just call me Catherine, sir," she smiled as Dr. McCoy wheeled her out into the hall.

"Are you going to be okay?" Dr. McCoy asked after he pushed her along in silence for a couple of minutes.

"Physically, thanks to you and John, yes, I'll be fine. After my recent emotional breakdowns as of late, however, I'm not sure how I'm going to hold up in that aspect," Catherine frowned and sighed.

"Do you feel that you're experiencing any symptoms of depression?"

"No, not really. I think my primary problem right now is anxiety over the upcoming trial. At least I know that it will be soon now that Captain Kirk is well enough to be up and about to testify."

"If you want, I can give you a long-acting medication to help with the anxiety during the trial," he offered.

"I'll think about it. While I certainly don't want to be breaking down into hysterics, I don't want to be overly mellow either. I think it'll be important to display some emotion. Now, I don't want them to pity me or to be looked upon as a damsel in distress, but I do want them to see how I've been hurt and affected by all of this. Does that make any sense, or am I starting to babble on like a lunatic?" she looked back at Dr. McCoy.

"No, I understand what you mean," he smiled. "Regardless of the outcome, I am going to recommend that you both receive some professional counseling after your trial. You have both shown some subtle signs of having post-traumatic stress disorder."

"I agree and will happily comply with your recommendation. I honestly think John has had some of the symptoms even before his run-in with you on the  _Enterprise_. He has nightmares from time to time. I'm just not so sure he will be so eager to go to therapy as me," she shook her head. "I will do my best, though, to encourage him to comply," she resolved as they arrived at her door.

Looking to the security officer at the end of the hall to deactivate the lock, Dr. McCoy then pressed the button next to the door to open it and wheeled Catherine inside the room. John, who was seated at their small table reading his PADD, got up and walked over to greet her and Dr. McCoy. "Welcome home," John smiled as he took her by the hand and helped her out of the wheelchair.

"Thank you," she forced a smile.

"Dr. Smith needed to rest, so he left a few minutes ago," John explained the doctor's absence.

"I'll be checking up on you in a couple days," Dr. McCoy excused himself leaving them alone to discuss Catherine's meeting with Kirk.

After Dr. McCoy left their quarters, Catherine sighed and frowned. "What it is it? Are you alright?" John cupped her cheek.

"John, we need to talk. Can we sit on the couch?"

"Of course," he kissed her on the forehead and gently led her to the couch helping her sit down before taking his place beside her. As she snuggled close to him, he asked, "What happened this morning?"

"I had a discussion," she paused before finishing, "with Captain Kirk."

"I see," he rumbled. "Our trial will start soon, then, I imagine."

"Yes."

"I thought that is what you wanted, Catherine. Aren't you relieved to finally get it out of the way?"

"John, it's horrible," she shuddered slightly. "I thought we were going to be tried by Starfleet. Kirk informed me that we are to be tried by the Federation Council because of the incident on Kronos."

"Then they mean to throw us to the dogs," John briefly yet uncharacteristically let his despair show. "What else transpired during your meeting with Kirk? He didn't try to seduce you, did he?" he growled lowly after a brief silence.

"Are you serious?" Catherine could not help but chuckle despite the gravity of their current situation and the overall mood in the room. Noting his nostrils flare as he sighed, she continued, "You're downright jealous! John, he did no such thing." She leaned into his neck so her lips brushed against his skin, "Yes, he may have flirted a little bit, but he did not try to seduce me. Besides, Kirk only has boyish good looks. I prefer a man like you." After kissing him on the neck, she whispered in his ear, "Only you. Only ever you."

"If he ever tries to touch you, I swear that I will kill him with my bare hands," John purred as she continued to kiss his neck. "Learn anything else from your little meeting, my dear?" he winked at her as she pulled away from kissing him.

"Well, Kirk is asking for a second chance. I told him that he should be speaking with you about that. I wasn't the one that he betrayed. More importantly, though, he feels that we deserve a second chance, too. After speaking with me, he has a better understanding of the reason behind your actions in recent months. He says that he will not speak against us when he testifies in the trial. He wasn't lying, John. I sensed no deceit."

"Perhaps Kirk has a conscience after all as I had originally thought, but his betrayal still leads me to hesitate trusting him. He used me, Imzadi, just like the others. I'm tired of being used! My entire life I've been nothing but a puppet used for others' whims, and anytime I have fought back and have tried to assert my independence as an individual, I am treated as a monster and made out to be a criminal!" he spat breathing heavily clutching his fists in anger.

Gently stroking the back of one of his clenched fists, Catherine frowned, "I'm sorry, my love, that people have caused you so much hurt."

"You bring me such comfort, Catherine. You always have," he unclenched his fists and tenderly took hold of her hand. "I can never thank you enough for treating me as someone that matters. You also opened the doors to my heart in order for me to trust all the additional non-Augments that care for me despite of my genetic makeup: your parents, Dr. Smith, Miss McGivers, and all the others. If you truly feel that Kirk intends to help us, then I trust you," he conceded.

"In possibly the darkest and most vulnerable moment of your life, when you thought just about all was lost, you started to trust Kirk, and when he betrayed you, it was as if he stabbed you in the heart. He hurt you deeply," she noted. "While he does not know or understand your hurt, he does realize that what he did was wrong. I sensed true remorse on his part."

"What should we expect from the Federation Council conducting our trial?"

"Federation President Claton Mintaine will oversee and conduct the proceedings. The councilors will have the opportunity to cross-examine witnesses and us, and those who wish to testify on our behalf will have the opportunity to speak. The board of inquiry will present their findings as well. Probably the only good thing out of this situation is that we won't be facing a prosecutor, but that doesn't guarantee that any of the councilors will not be hostile or have a vendetta against us," she shrugged her shoulders.

"Well, we both have experience with being interrogated which will play in our favor. And we will be in the same room together. We can use our bond to communicate comfort and draw strength from one another if we experience any times of duress while being questioned."

"Yes, we can. I'm afraid that I might need to rely on you quite a lot in this manner given my little emotional breakdowns as of late. Dr. McCoy offered to medicate me for anxiety, but I'm not so sure if I want to do that," she shook her head.

"There's nothing to be ashamed of in taking medication for your anxiety. There's no weakness in admitting that you need help. Whatever you decide, Imzadi, I support you. I know you've lately struggled with self-doubt, but you are stronger than you think," he squeezed her hand.

"Thank you for believing in me even when I can't," she kissed him on the cheek.

"I have faced difficult situations like this before, but I am ever so glad to have you at my side this time," John cracked a smile.

"I will stand at your side proudly and with dignity. I am your Khanum, after all, am I not?" she smiled back to him.

"Always," he nodded as her stomach growled loudly. "Hungry?" he laughed.

"It seems our little one is ready for some lunch," she patted her belly as she scooted forwards in preparation to stand. "Oh!" she winced and put a hand to her back as she sat back down on the couch. "It's my back. I have a muscle cramp," she huffed.

"Let me see," John gently lifted the back of her shirt and felt the area that she indicated. "Yes, you certainly do. Try to relax," he started to gently massage the tight muscle.

"Oh John," she gasped lightly in pain before the cramp started to resolve. "Hmm, that feels much better."

"I think that I am going to change up your exercise routine a little. We need to strengthen and prepare your body for giving birth. We'll also focus on strengthening your back as you're going to experience further strain on those muscles as our child continues to grow larger," he stopped massaging her back and snaked his arms around her.

"Sounds like a good idea," she agreed.

"For now, let's get something to eat. Then we'll get a nice hot shower, I'll give you a more thorough back massage, and we can spend part of the afternoon lazing about lying on the bed. How does that sound?"

"Nice and relaxing."

"Good," he kissed her neck. "I'm going to take care of you."

Later after John's suggested activities as they reclined on the bed together staring into each other's eyes after spending quite some time alternating between deeply and gently kissing, Catherine sighed and stroked John's cheek.  _"Imzadi, I'm not going to leave you. How could you think that?"_ she scolded him.

" _Catherine?"_  he arched a brow trying to feign ignorance.

" _You're concerned that I might leave you, that I might want a separation or even divorce after the trial. You have told me much about your past, but I know that there is much more that you haven't told me. And that's okay because I trust you completely. There are things, however, things that you are concerned will make me hate you, that may come up during the trial that didn't during the mind meld."_

" _You may not like to see the depths of the darkness in my heart,"_ he frowned.  _"I would not blame you if you despised me for what I have done, the trouble that I caused during the Eugenics Wars."_

" _John, that was your past, nearly 300 years ago. You have changed. You're a different person from the man that I helped to bring out of cryostasis. Your past is your concern and belongs to you. Your present and future problems are our concern, and they belong to both of us. Chaotic it may be, we've built a life together, and I can't imagine a life apart from you. I'd never leave you willingly."_

" _Nor could I leave you. I do not know how I managed the separation last time. Clearly I was mad,"_  he slightly teased.  _"I know that I'm not nearly as good at reading emotions as you are, but while we're on the topic of things that worry us, what is bothering you?"_

" _You do seem to be getting better at reading me,"_ she cracked a smile.  _"Spending those couple of days in the infirmary, I got to wondering if they're going to take away my nursing license. Granted, I have far greater things to worry about right now, but I'm just curious."_

" _I don't see why they would have reason do that. In your role as a nurse, you never once committed negligence or malpractice. You took excellent care of our family, those injured on the ship, and me. I'm sure that both Dr. Smith and Dr. McCoy will testify to that."_

" _You're right,"_  she nodded before stretching and sitting up leaning her back against the headboard. "Did you ever get used to it?"

"Get used to what?" John propped himself up next to her.

"It seems as if you've known little peace during your life. Did you ever get used to living in constant upheaval?"

"No," he shook his head. "I longed for peace, but it was always as if it wasn't meant to be for me. Anytime things did seem to calm down, something else would begin to stir within the world calling for my attention. Probably the best times in my past life, though, were when I was at university and during the first years of my reign as Khan. Despite my superior nature and ability to adapt, there are some things all humans, even Augments, truly desire. One of those is to live in peace and security surrounded by those that they love." As he finished, the door chime sounded. "Ah, I expect that might be your mother," he explained as he got off the bed to answer the door.

"Hello, John," Kestra smiled as the door opened. "I'm not interrupting you two, am I?" she peeked behind John noting Catherine sitting on the bed.

"Mother!" Catherine protested and rolled her eyes.

"No, not at all," John laughed. "Please," he moved aside to allow her to enter their quarters.

"How are you feeling, little one?" Kestra asked as she dropped a couple bags on the table.

"A little tired, but I'm getting stronger," Catherine replied as she slid off the bed. "What's in the bags?"

"Clothes for you both for the trial. I won't have you looking like a couple of slobs in front of Starfleet's top brass," Kestra explained as she started to root through one of the bags.

"Mother," Catherine sighed, "we're going to be tried by the Federation Council."

"Oh, little one," Kestra frowned. "Well, look at the bright side, dear. At least you'll both look good," she tried to lighten the mood. Catherine and John could not help but smile at each other with Kestra's bizarre take on the situation. "Here you go," she handed Catherine some clothes. "You'll need to try them on to see if they fit over your belly."

"These are lovely, mum. Thank you. I'll go try them on to see if they fit," she took the bundle of clothes to the bathroom.

"I'm sorry that I didn't get you something brand new, little warrior, but when they gave Dylan and me the contents of Catherine's quarters on the  _Enterprise_ , I knew this would be perfect for you," Kestra explained as she pulled John's purple sherwani out of the other bag. "I'm sure you look like the prince you are when you wear it."

"Thank you, Mrs. Troi," John smiled as he took the garments from Kestra.

"You can call me whatever you like, but no more of this Mrs. Troi nonsense!" she scolded him.

"Mum?" he arched his brow.

"That's better," she smiled and kissed him on the cheek.

"Well?" Catherine asked as she stepped out of the bathroom. "I hope I don't look like a hippo," she grumbled as she turned in a circle to show them the gray tailored maternity suit Kestra picked out for her.

"You look beautiful," John walked over and gave her a hug. "Very professional."

"How does it fit, little one?" Kestra joined them.

"It's comfortable and not too tight. There's still a little room to grow into it, but I hope that the trial won't last that long."

Before they knew it, the fateful day arrived. Due to the fact that Catherine and John were attacked by a mob upon their arrival at the main entrance of the secure facility where they were held, they were taken to a back entrance not open to the public where they were loaded into a transport vehicle to be taken to the Federation Council Building. Reaching their destination, they were escorted to a holding room connected to the Federation Council Chamber.

"Are you ready for this? Are you going to be okay?" John hugged Catherine and whispered into her ear.

"I'm not sure one can ever be completely ready for something like this, but I think I'll be fine."

"Remember, if you start to feel overwhelmed, just look at me. I will talk you through it just like El Capitan," he reassured her. "Okay?" he smiled.

"Okay," she nodded trying to hide the fact that her hands were shaking.

"Imzadi," he took her hands gently into his own, "there's nothing wrong with being nervous."

"I know, but I just feel a bit silly," she smiled anxiously.

"No matter what happens in those chambers, always remember that I love you."

"I love you, too," she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him.

Once the Federation Council, all those that were to present evidence during the case, and the few spectators that were permitted to sit in on the trial, namely the Trois, were in attendance, Catherine and John were led into the chamber and made to stand in the middle of the room facing the podium where Federation President Claton Mintaine was standing. Catherine felt John's large hand taking her own and squeezing it tightly. As he looked around the room, he noted Captain Kirk sitting in the crowd and shot him an icy glare before returning his attention to Catherine and the situation at hand.

"The Federation Council is now in session. Except for the accused, please take your seats," President Mintaine announced. "Admiral Morrow has presented to us the board of inquiry's findings in regards to investigating the actions of the accused. We have all had the opportunity to review his report, and at a later stardate, the admiral will present the key findings for all those present to consider. Now, Lieutenant Catherine Harrison, for you the charges and specifications are conspiracy, espionage, insubordination, murder of a Starfleet officer, firing upon Starfleet officers, sabotage, falsifying records, smuggling, treason, trespassing, and theft. Do you understand the ramifications of these charges?"

"Yes, Mister President," she replied as her cheeks flushed in embarrassment at the long list of charges being held against her.

"How do you plead?"

"Not guilty," she quietly replied causing the room to break out in hushed murmurs at her defiant response.

"Are you absolutely certain?"

"Yes, sir. Although I will not deny that I have broken Starfleet regulations, I did so out of necessity. Under the circumstances, it was the right thing to do, and I am willing to accept the consequences of my actions. I only hope that my testimony will aid in exposing the truth in regards to the activities of Section 31 under the leadership of Admiral Marcus."

"Very well," President Mintaine nodded. "Commander John Harrison, also known by the alias of Khan Noonien Singh, the charges and specifications are acts of terrorism against Starfleet resulting in the deaths of numerous Federation citizens and Starfleet personnel and the murder of Admiral Alexander Marcus. How do you plead?"

"Not guilty," John boldly responded causing an even greater response from the crowd.

"So entered. Commander Harrison, you may be seated. Lieutenant Harrison, will you please take the stand?" he motioned Catherine to take a seat next to his podium.

"Yes sir," she gave John's hand a quick squeeze before approaching the podium.

Reaching her seat, a female Vulcan council member stopped her. Having Catherine put her hand on the surface on of a PADD, she asked, "Do you solemnly swear or affirm that you will tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth under pains and penalties of perjury?"

"I swear it," Catherine nodded before taking her seat.

"Noted," the Vulcan reported for the record.

"By lot, Councilor Keval Endilev of Andoria has been selected to cross examine the defendant first," President Mintaine announced as the blue skinned alien took his place at a smaller podium. "You may proceed."

"Lieutenant Harrison, or rather, should I call you Lieutenant Troi as your marriage on Risa with Commander Harrison was registered using false names?" the Andorian questioned. "Never mind, that is not the matter at hand," he shook his head. "Tell me, miss, are Betazoid Starfleet officers permitted to use their psionic abilities in the course of their duties?" he skipped the basic questions and dove right into deeper matters.

" _Oh John, he's already on the attack,"_  Catherine felt slightly panicked.

" _Calm down and take a deep breath. Remember that Andorians despise dishonesty, but they are not known for charity or sympathy either,"_  John explained.

"Miss, please answer the question," the president noted her hesitation.

"Although I do not understand the reason behind it and feel that it is racist, no, we are not permitted to use our empathic or telepathic abilities in the line of duty," she calmly answered.

"And yet, by your own admission on more than one occasion and according to Admiral Morrow's report from the board of inquiry, you used your abilities on a regular basis while under the command of Admiral Alexander Marcus. Why is that?"

"When I joined Section 31, Admiral Marcus told me that such regulations did not matter in regards to the organization. He told me that part of the reason why I was chosen for my position was so that I could read John's emotions and determine if he needed reported to the admiral for any suspicious behavior given the highly dangerous and classified nature of their work. Obviously since I was not previously permitted to use my abilities, I was not actively sensing the admiral's emotions when I first joined the organization or else I would have certainly realized that he was lying to me," she huffed.

"Why would you act against your conscience and everything you had been taught? Why did you believe that what he was telling you was acceptable?"

"When I joined, Admiral Marcus explained Section 31 as being an officially nonexistent covert organization within Starfleet Intelligence with a duty to protect the security interests of Earth and the United Federation of Planets. He impressed upon me that the safety of Federation citizens was more important than Starfleet regulations," she explained.

"And even as you learned more of the admiral's activities which many believe to be illegal and unethical, you did not question him or report him to the appropriate authorities. Why?" he pressed further.

"Because I was afraid. I was afraid of what he would do to my loved ones or me. By this time, I knew what he had done to John. I saw the photographic evidence of his torture. I knew that he was holding John's family captive. I couldn't risk bringing them harm."

"In regards to your loyalties to Commander Harrison, was the nature of your relationship always sexual?" Councilor Endilev smirked.

"I hardly see how that is relevant," Catherine glared at him.

"Just answer the question, please."

"No, it was not always sexual. In fact, I believe that our relationship developed quite naturally. We began as colleagues, became close as friends, and only after several months did we become intimate. John never coerced or seduced me. In fact, he was the one that was hesitant at first, and I had to plead with him to consummate our relationship. He was nothing but a complete gentleman, and prior to our first coupling, he right out proposed marriage to me. While we're on the subject, would you like to know about our favorite positions, what gets John off, and about the mind-blowing orgasms he gives me?" she smirked. "Were you expecting something kinkier? Admiral Marcus watching us or performing sick experiments with us to learn about Augment reproduction? Making his own daughter participate in the bedroom action, a nasty threesome gone badly? Or how about the animal tyrant Augment tying me up and whipping me into submission?" she rolled her eyes as the room erupted with a mixture of shock and laughter at her comments.

"Order!" the Council President hammered his gavel. "There will be no further outbursts from the floor."

John looked her in the eyes from where he was sitting and smiled somewhat deviously,  _"Mine. Always mine. So submissive without needing to be whipped. Remind me, though, to mark you later to help remove their doubt in regards to the current nature of our relationship."_

" _Imzadi, you can be so mischievous,"_ she smiled shyly back to him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to have to break it up, but if I continued this chapter would be entirely too long. Did my best, though, not to leave it off at a cliffhanger.


	35. Disorder in the Court

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little Wrath of Khan, a little Undiscovered Country, a little of the Eugenics Wars novels... 
> 
> Sorry about any spelling or grammatical errors. I was eager to get this up and I'm a bit sleepy, so I was not as thorough as I try to be with proofing.
> 
> Selected listening tracks: "No Light, No Light" by Florence + The Machine, "One Truth" and "Save Me" by Globus

With President Mintaine’s warning, except for a few quiet remarks made here and there about Betazoids’ bluntness and overt sexuality, the Federation Council Chamber started to quiet down after Catherine’s evocative speech. “Lieutenant, please contain yourself and try to refrain from being so explicit,” the president cautioned her. “Councilor Endilev, please continue,” he advised the Andorian. 

“Lieutenant, do you love Commander Harrison?” the councilor asked arching his brow and scratching his head behind one of his antennae. 

“So dear I love him, that with him all deaths I could endure, without him live no life,” Catherine replied by quoting Milton’s _Paradise Lost_. Being one of John’s favorite books, his jaw dropped ever so slightly at her thoughtful response, and he could not help but give her a tender smile in return. 

“I see. That will be all,” Councilor Endilev went and took his seat leaving not only Catherine and John but also some of his fellow council members slightly confused at his brief but odd probing into the nature of the Harrisons’ relationship. 

A Tellarite council member by the name of Naarg was next to begin questioning Catherine. After itching his snout-like nose, he asked, “What does Sherman’s Planet mean to you, lieutenant?” 

“Not much, sir. All I know is that it is the fifth planet, M-class, of the FGC-24187 system near the Klingon border,” she replied. 

“Oh, but I’m afraid you are personally more familiar with it than that,” he snorted.

 “What do you mean, sir?” Catherine tried to feign ignorance.

 “Was it not on Sherman’s Planet that you lost your Uncle Robert and Aunt Karen Troi and their children to an attack from a group of Klingons prior to the signing of the Organian Peace Treaty?” Sensing her hesitation, he pressed further, “Wouldn’t you want the Klingons to suffer for taking innocent lives, the lives of little children?” 

“Yes, my aunt, uncle, and cousins were killed by a Klingon raiding party on Sherman’s Planet,” she frowned. “It was later determined that the group that murdered them acted of their own volition and were not following the orders of the Klingon High Command. And although the Klingons that caused their deaths deserve to be punished, I would not want to cause all Klingons to suffer needlessly for the crimes of a few.”

 “Yet, it was so convenient, wasn’t it, to meet Commander Harrison? He was no doubt someone who could easily inflict pain and suffering on the race that caused you and your loved ones so much sadness and sorrow. I bet you couldn’t resist it. At what point did you decide to use your psionic abilities to win him over in order to get him to do your bidding?”

 “What?” Catherine gasped. “Betazoids cannot use their psionic abilities to control others! It is false information like this that leads to moronic policies like the current one in place in Starfleet banning us from using our abilities while on duty! After meeting John, once, and only once, did the thought briefly cross my mind that perhaps he could do something to help avenge my family. So, if you want me to say it, then yes, I considered using him, but I never acted upon it!” her skin flushed as she tried to hold back tears with her response. She could not bear to look at John out of fear that she hurt him with her revelation.

Councilor Naarg paced back and forth quietly a couple times before asking, “Did you kill one of Admiral Marcus’ security officers?”

“Yes, sir, but it was in self defense. While we were smuggling the cryotubes into the torpedoes and transferring them to the _Vengeance_ , we were attacked without warning by a group of his security officers. An officer physically attacked me and tried to strangle me. If it wasn’t for John’s accurate aim with a phaser, I would be dead right now. I then shot one of the officers that were attacking John with my phaser that he had me previously set to kill, as any survivors would endanger the safety of his people. Those officers did not even try to ask us to surrender peacefully. What were we supposed to do?” 

“So, did you then encourage Commander Harrison to murder Admiral Marcus?” 

“No, I did not outright encourage or tell him to kill Admiral Marcus.” 

“And yet, he has been quoted as saying that he did it for you!” Naarg began shouting. 

“John did it for all of us! He did it for our family. He did it for me. He did it for you. He did it for all those that would be put in harm’s way due to Marcus’ lust for war. My only regret in the matter is that I didn’t get the chance to kill Marcus myself with my own bare hands!” she shouted back and clenched her teeth. The room erupted once again at her bold response, and John put a hand to his head in worry feeling unsure how her answer would affect the council’s view of her, their case, and ultimately their verdict. 

“Bah! Such murderous treachery!” Councilor Naarg threw up his hands in disgust before taking his seat.

After President Mintaine brought the chamber back to order once again and several other councilors finished grilling Catherine over various matters, it was near noon. President Mintaine announced that there would be an adjournment for an hour allowing all present to eat some lunch and refresh themselves. As soon as she was permitted to leave the stand, Catherine dashed past where John was seated making her way back to the room attached to the chamber where they were held earlier. Receiving permission to join her, John ran after her and found her standing with her hands covering her face. 

“Why didn’t you wait for me?” John softly asked pulling her by the upper arm so she would face him. 

“John, how can you even look at me?” Catherine started to cry. 

“Catherine,” he wrapped her in his arms gently rubbing her back, “don’t be upset. You did wonderfully.”

 “You’re not angry with me?” she asked, as she felt too upset to bother trying to sense his emotions. 

“No, why would I be angry with you?” he arched his brow.

 “You heard me out there. I thought about using you, John. I know how you feel about being used. It was easy telling it to everyone is those chambers, but having to tell you directly to your face now, I feel so ashamed,” she tried to pull away. 

“Imzadi,” he smiled pulling her tightly to his body. “Do not worry yourself about it. Yes, I was a bit surprised when you admitted it, but how could I possibly be cross with you for something that I had also considered at the same time when we met? I even attempted it by trying to break you at El Capitan!”

“True,” she giggled into his chest. 

“Why did you never mention the murder of your family members?” 

“I try not to think about it, and the two of us always had more pressing concerns to worry about. My aunt and uncle were specialists in agriculture and were working on cultivating quadrotriticale on Sherman’s Planet. Their children, my cousins Wesley and Rebecca, were only toddlers,” her voice started to give way. 

“It’s okay. We do not have to discuss it right now as it is making you more upset,” he stopped her.

“Shit!” she sighed. “I told them that I wish that I had killed Marcus. What if I’ve ruined everything? I couldn’t help myself,” she started to sniffle again. 

“Catherine, stop. What’s done is done, and you cannot take back your words. Ultimately, I’m the one with his blood on my hands. If anyone should be worried because of Marcus’ murder and the effect it may have on our verdict, it should be me. Given your request to share in my punishment, I fear that I may have damned you to a terrible fate,” he frowned.

“Don’t worry about that, John. While the Federation does not have a death penalty, Marcus’ treacherous actions in trying to cause a war were alone enough for him to deserve to die by many legal codes from the past and other legal codes in the galaxy,” she rested her head on his shoulder.

After they stood quietly for a few moments, John asked, “Are you feeling better?” 

“Yes.” 

“As I was saying, you did wonderfully,” he cupped her cheeks with his large hands and beamed at her. “I am so proud of you. You stood your ground and didn’t let them get away with pushing you around. You answered their questions well and conveyed what you experienced at the hands of Marcus without coming across as a completely helpless victim.” 

“Well, having you in the room helped. You always help me to feel brave.” 

_“Perhaps later,”_ he took her hand and gently pressed it to his crotch, _“you can use me properly. I’ll even let you be on top.”_  

_“Oh John,”_ she smiled and blushed, _“with this belly of mine that’s where I’m going to need to be at this rate. I just hope that I’ll have the energy by tonight.”_

_“Who said we had to wait until tonight?”_ he teased with a smirk on his face causing her to laugh.

Taking their seats together after the adjournment, John and Catherine held hands as President Mintaine reinstated the proceedings and asked that Marla McGivers take the stand in order to give her statement. Having been sworn in under oath, Marla began: 

“Between 1992 and 1996 there took place a series of conflicts on Earth which we now call the Eugenics Wars. It is estimated that the end death toll was somewhere between 30 and 37 million people both human and Augment. These conflicts were spawned through fighting between Augment leaders, and these leaders were ultimately prosecuted and put to death with all those of their kind at the end of the war. At least, this is what the general population of Earth was led to believe and reported around the world. Some of these Augments, however, went missing before they could be executed. It is only fitting that one of the best, most humane leaders and least deserving of such a punishment, Khan Noonien Singh, was one of those to escape with his family and small band of faithful followers.

“Born to scientist and surrogate mother Dr. Sarina Kaur, John Noonien Singh showed great potential even at an early age as documented in some of Kaur’s very rare surviving journals. Her hope was that, through their superior abilities, John and his siblings would unite Earth and bring about peace and freedom to all mankind regardless of their genetic makeup. And despite the abuse he experienced from his caretakers after her death, John strived to do just that. When he was only 17, John fought with Soviet soldiers outside Vladimir Lenin’s tomb stopping a coup. He later maintained the safety of President Mikhail Gorbachev during a summit in Reykjavik, Iceland. Without his intervention in protecting the Soviet president who fought so hardly to bring about government reforms, the USSR may not have ever dissolved. In 1987, John incited the pro-democracy uprising in South Korea and fought alongside the Afghan rebels in their struggle against their Soviet Union invaders. John singlehandedly restored democracy to Pakistan by personally arranging the plane crash that killed General Muhammad Zia-ul-Haq. There is even evidence that he may have had a role in the death of the Ayatollah Khomeini. Taking advantage of power-hungry individuals in leadership roles in governments, businesses, and various independent agencies that allowed themselves to fall under his authority, John quietly assumed the role of Khan and organized his nation, which was referred to as the Great Khanate. And to think, he did all of this before even attending university or reaching the age of 21!

“While many considered Khan Noonien Singh to be a dictator, his empire was completely lacking in genocide and other such atrocities that are usually associated with dictatorships. John’s people were fed, clothed, employed, had access to healthcare, and lived peaceful lives. Seeing the chaos and suffering of the people in the nations surrounding his empire, John hoped to win over his fellow Augment leaders and unite them to bring the world to order. And so, in 1993, Khan held a summit with six other Augment leaders where he attempted to unify them to bring about a new world order with him as the prevailing voice of reason. The summit was a failure, and his dream of unity collapsed as his fellow Augments began to turn on one another thus bringing about what we now call the Eugenics Wars.

“During the war, there were many opportunities for Khan to destroy large populations of people through nuclear and bio weapons, but he never acted upon them. He could not bring himself to kill thousands of innocents in order to take down his Augment siblings who did not hesitate to kill humans in attempts to assassinate him. For example, in September 1993, Vasily Hunyadi, a Romanian Augment behind the Serbian government, attempted to assassinate Khan by luring him into the Ajorra caves in central India. Hunyadi used an underwater concussive charge to trigger an earthquake in the region of Maharashtra. Entire villages were destroyed, and over 10,000 subjects living within the Great Khanate were killed.”

_“John, how horrible,”_ Catherine squeezed his hand tightly as Marla continued speaking.

 John clenched his jaw tightly and fought to hold back the tear that threatened to roll down his cheek. _“I lost many humans whom I considered to be friends in the earthquake and almost lost my personal bodyguard who was also my dearest friend, Joaquin Weiss, from the cave-in. Even as an Augment it took him months to recover from his injuries. The children, Catherine,”_ he shuddered as she let go of his hand and started to rub his back, _“there were so many innocent children. And they died because of me!”_

_"_ _It wasn’t your fault.”_

_“Yes, it was! It was because I was a failure. I couldn’t even unify my fellow Augments, how could I have possibly brought about world peace?”_

_“Imzadi, such a heavy burden for you to bear by yourself. No one person could ever bring about world peace on his or her own. It is the responsibility of us all. I suppose Earth just was not ready for it. Our kind was not worthy or perhaps not yet evolved enough for unity. John, you were too good for them.”_

As John and Catherine finished their conversation, Marla concluded her presentation: “Propaganda and history have defined Khan Noonien Singh as a cruel, bloodthirsty tyrant who wanted nothing else than to systematically exterminate non-Augment humans. Yes, his methods may have been cunning, cold and calculating, and perhaps even downright devious at times, but my research, which I have presented to you today, has demonstrated that he was no master of mass genocide and destruction. He has only ever sought to unify the people of Earth in peace, tolerance, and understanding with one another. And even now in our century, despite the prejudice and unethical treatment he has experienced at the hands of an admiral who vowed to obey the laws of the United Federation of Planets, to defend its security, and to abide by the principles for which it stands, Khan Noonien Singh, known to us here today as Commander John Harrison, has only ever fought to protect the innocent and helpless from exploitation and illegal acts of war. In his private life, he has been faithful and loving to someone who is not only not an Augment but also not even a full-blooded human. Ultimately, he is a lover and not a fighter, but if provoked or necessary, he will not hesitate to fight for what and whom he loves. John may be an Augment, but he is also a human who deserves to be treated with dignity and respect. Perhaps if we humans were not so abominable during his era, things may have turned out differently.”

Following Marla’s presentation, Drs. McCoy and Smith each took turns giving their testimonies and being questioned. There was also time for Rima Harewood to be questioned and testify. Catherine and John smiled as little Lucy grinned and waved to them from her seat in the stands where she sat with her grandmother. After Admiral Morrow presented his full report of the board of inquiries findings, President Mintaine adjourned the trial for the day so that everyone could return to their dwellings for the evening.

“Such a long day,” Catherine noted before yawning as they finished their meal. “I’m sorry, dear, but like I thought earlier, I’m afraid that I’m just not going to have the energy tonight,” she smiled sleepily.

 “That’s quite alright,” John smiled. “You went through a lot today. You performed admirably. You deserve a good night’s rest.”

 “Thank you for understanding.”

“You also deserve a reward,” he winked. “You may not have the energy to put into it, but I do. I shall pleasure you until you fall asleep. Nope,” he held up his hand as she was about to protest. “Do not worry about me. I am here to serve you tonight,” he grinned.

 “You know how to keep our love life interesting. I will give you that,” she shook her head and giggled.

The next morning, President Mintaine first had Spock take the stand. In conjunction with Admiral Morrow’s report, Spock gave his findings as a result of the mind melds he performed on the Harrisons. He also gave his testimony when questioned in relation to the events that took place starting with the night he witnessed John’s attack on the Daystrom Institute.

In his conclusion, Spock noted, “Until I took part in this investigation, I had been under the impression that Commander Harrison, particularly as his prior role of Khan Noonien Singh, was a tyrant. In retrospect, however, I feel that the true tyrant in this entire incident was Admiral Marcus.  And like many tyrants, Marcus came to fear the ones that he sought to keep under his control. In the end, it was his undoing. As with all those infamous tyrants that came before him, it only took one of those he sought to oppress to rise up against him. Actually, in this case, it only took two: John and Catherine Harrison. If it were not for their indomitable spirits, we might have been at this very moment embroiled in a bloody war with the Klingons.

“As many of you may know, I am indeed half-human. In the course of my research into preparing for this case, I have learned a lot about what it means to be human from the Harrisons. I have also learned that John Harrison and I may have more in common than I thought possible. And so, in that case, what was done to him and his wife, I should feel the same outrage as if it were done to the ones that I love and to me. We should all feel outraged that anyone be treated, no matter what their species, the way they were under Admiral Marcus. Logically, Commander and Lieutenant Harrison deserve not only our mercy but also justice.”

After Spock, Captain Kirk was questioned. As he had promised to Catherine, he did not speak ill of either her or John. He also admitted to the council that some of his actions, particularly his betrayal, had most likely played a role in what ultimately caused John to snap and kill Admiral Marcus.

Once the council was finished questioning Kirk, the trial was adjourned and then resumed that afternoon after everyone had adequate time once again for lunch and some rest.

“I would like to call the stand Dr. Carol Marcus,” announced President Mintaine as the trial resumed.

Catherine and John looked to each other with disgust written on their faces as Carol made her way to the stand with a slight psychosomatic limp. After being sworn in under oath, she took her seat and tucked her short blonde hair behind her ears. Councilor Indira Bhutto, a woman from Earth, stood to begin questioning her.

“Dr. Marcus, before encountering them on the _Enterprise_ , were you acquainted with both of the accused?” Councilor Bhutto began.

“Yes, I met Lieutenant Harrison briefly in the cryogenics lab and often worked with Commander Harrison on a long-range photon torpedo project,” Carol replied.

“Were you aware of their relationship status at the time?”

“No, I did not know that they were romantically involved. I was under the impression that they only knew each other in the context of a nurse-patient relationship.”

“Did your father ever speak to you about the Harrisons?” Councilor Bhutto tucked a strand of her long, dark hair behind one of her ears.

“Again, no, he never spoke of them as a couple. He mostly griped about Commander Harrison and his work on the torpedoes. He only brought up Lieutenant Harrison a couple times but in front of me did not act if he knew they were involved romantically.”

“Remind me, Dr. Marcus, of your education and your area of specialty.”

“I have a doctorate in applied physics and specialized in advanced weaponry,” Carol reported.

“And what about the other doctorate, the one you always fail to mention as of late?”

“The one in molecular biology?”

“Ah, yes, that’s right, molecular biology. Now, what would someone with so much knowledge in regards to biology, physics, and weaponry be up to while working for a clandestine organization such as Section 31?” Councilor Bhutto started to walk back and forth.

“I’m not sure if I understand your question, councilor,” Carol answered as she started to become nervous.

“Ladies and gentlemen of the council, Mister President, may I present to you, the MorningStar device!” she announced as the screen flickered to life and displayed a picture of an ancient satellite. “Tell us all about it, Dr. Marcus. You’re the weapons specialist here.”

“As I have recently learned, it is Commander Harrison’s. Granted at the time I did not know his true identity, and he told me that it was Khan Noonien Singh’s original design, which I did know having studied it thoroughly during my time at Starfleet Academy. He created and launched it during the Eugenics Wars. It had the capability of destroying the ozone layer thus killing all life on Earth,” she explained evoking hushed gasps with the exposure of John’s capability of committing planetary genocide despite Marla’s prior information that he had such weapons of mass destruction but never used them.

“And was it your intent to further develop this device into a weapon that could be used against our enemies?” Councilor Bhutto pressed further.

“No! That was not our goal!” she protested.

“Our? Are you speaking collectively as in Section 31 or individually? With whom were you working on this project?”

“Commander Harrison himself,” she frowned as Catherine looked at John in surprise with Carol’s admission. “I have the results of our work right here,” Carol pulled a data pack from her handbag and held it out to submit it as evidence. After the data pack was loaded, a picture of a torpedo-like object appeared on the screen with its schematics. “Unlike the Morning Star device, he did not intend for this to be used as a weapon. We named it Genesis.”

“Tell us, what exactly is Genesis?”

“Well, put simply, Genesis is life from lifelessness. It is a process whereby molecular structure is reorganized at the subatomic level into life-generating matter of equal mass. Stage One of our experiment was conducted in the laboratory. We never reached this point, but Stage Two of the series was to be attempted in a lifeless underground. Stage Three was to involve the process on a planetary scale. It was our intention to introduce the Genesis device into the pre-selected area of a lifeless space body such as a moon or other dead form. The device is delivered instantaneously causing what we call the Genesis Effect,” she explained as a video started to play showing a computer simulation. “Matter is reorganized with life-generating results. Instead of a dead moon, a living, breathing planet capable of sustaining whatever lifeforms we see fit to deposit on it. The reformed moon simulated here represents the mere fraction of the Genesis potential. When we consider the cosmic problems of population and food supply, the usefulness of this process becomes clear. It was mostly Commander Harrison’s idea. I did not tell him, but I discovered that he was an Augment during our time working together and used some of his Augment DNA in the design of the matrix. I nicked one of his blood samples from the cryogenics lab one day. Until he was aboard the _Enterprise_ ,I did not know the truth of his origins and had figured that he probably had become an Augment through one of Section 31’s genetics programs.”

Despite sensing John’s anger with Carol’s admission of using his DNA without his knowledge or permission, Catherine squeezed his hand, _“You wanted to make a new home for your family in the event that you were able to save them and escape.”_

_"Yes. And, after all of this, although it was not my intention at the time we designed it, Genesis would certainly help the Klingons create a new home, would it not?”_

_“It would, but I do not think they can be trusted with such technology. I feel like they need to prove themselves worthy. Besides, I doubt they want our help,”_ she thought bitterly.

“Dr. Marcus, did you have any knowledge about your father holding the family of Commander John Harrison captive and threatening to harm them if he did not do his bidding?” Council Bhutto continued questioning Carol.

“No, I did not know about his people in the cryotubes, and my father told me that the ones in the lab were Section 31 officers that had volunteered just as Harrison did for the cryogenics experiments taking place.”

“How did your father find out about the relationship between the accused? Did you tell him?”

“I told you before that I did not know they were romantically involved.”

“Someone had to have been telling him such information. Are you sure you never noticed or said anything pertaining to-“

“Fine!” Carol interrupted her. “I did it! I found out and told my father about their relationship!” she crossed her arms as her face contorted in anger.

“How did you discover it?”

“One day I was going to go test a phaser prototype in the simulation lab when I discovered that the doors were locked. I couldn’t even access the room with my security code. I was, however, able to manage to log into the surveillance system. I saw Commander Harrison training his nurse, the lieutenant, to use a phaser. At first, I didn’t think it was anything odd or important as I knew he was to be in charge of training her up to Section 31’s standards, but I was curious and watched their entire session together. As they finished, they had a rather animated discussion that I could not quite hear.”

“Then what happened?”

“They kissed each other quite passionately,” Carol rolled her eyes.

“And this is when you told your father?”

“No,” she replied and hesitated before continuing, “At that time, I just started to keep tabs on them.”

“You mean to say that you stalked them?” Council Bhutto scrunched her nose in disgust.

“I don’t mean it like that, but yes, I did watch them. I followed them and spied on them quite a lot, so, okay, maybe it was stalking. I even hacked into Lieutenant Harrison’s PADD sometimes. She had quite some interesting things on there.”

_“I think that I’m going to be sick,”_ Catherine winced as John held her close to his side. _“Before you got around to deleting them, there were pictures from our time on Risa on that PADD. And I myself later deleted them, but I had some pictures of you sleeping in the nude on there, too. I’m sorry. I should have asked you for permission to photograph you in such a vulnerable state.”_

_“I’m certainly angry, but with her, not you,”_ he kissed her on the temple. _“She had no business stalking us like that.”_

“Have you no honor? Why did you invade their privacy? And why did you ultimately tell your father of their relationship?” the councilor asked.

“I couldn’t let their relationship compromise our work on the torpedoes!” Carol raised her voice.

“And how would them having an intimate relationship compromise the work you were doing together. Is that what your father told you?”

“I was jealous!” Carol’s face turned bright red with anger and embarrassment. “Don’t you get it? I was angry that they were together! I wanted to be with John, but he wanted to be with that wench! I tried and tried to get him to notice me. I flirted. I tried to impress him with my knowledge of weaponry. I even flat out asked him on a date a couple times. For a while, I was starting to think that he was either homosexual or even asexual because he never once reacted to me. He just ignored me more and more. When I found out that they were married, that’s when I told my father. I had enough. If I couldn’t have John Harrison, then no one could!”

_“John?”_ Catherine arched her brow and looked up at John whom had a look of confusion written on his face.

_“I honestly had no idea that she was attracted to me,”_ he looked back at her. _“I must not have been paying any attention when she was trying to pursue me. Now I think that I’m the one that’s going to be sick,”_ he sighed. _“It all makes sense now, though. Marcus told me that a little bird, a woman, had been giving him information. He was inciting me to think that it was you when it was actually his daughter. How could I have been such a fool?”_

_“You were fully suffering the effects of the eels by then. Marcus had you right where he wanted you. Pretty sad that he was willing to stoop low enough to prey on his own daughter’s emotions and use her to get to us. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.”_

“Do you still feel this way about Commander Harrison?” Councilor Bhutto asked with a slightly saddened look on her face.

“Look, I was stupid, so stupid for all that I did. I wish that I never did any of it. It was so, well, I don’t know,” Carol paused trying to find the right words to express her feelings as tears started to flow freely. “I suppose that it was petty and childish. I never thought that telling my father would have such severe repercussions. I never thought that it would put anyone in danger. I never thought that it would lead to innocent people dying, and I certainly did not think that it would lead to my father’s murder. No, I do not feel the same way about Commander Harrison, and I’m sorry for the pain my actions have caused for both of them. I wish that I could take it all back and somehow make it better. Yes, a part of me is angry with Harrison for killing my father in the gruesome way that he did, but another part of me now understands why he did it. In the end, I just want Commander Harrison to be happy, and if he is happy with someone else, then I understand that. But, if I were ever offered the opportunity to work with him again, I honestly would accept it in a heartbeat, as he is so insightful, a true genius. He was the best partner I’ve ever had on a project.”

“No further questions, Mister President,” Councilor Bhutto sighed and took her seat.

“Dr. Marcus, you may take your place in the stands,” the president dismissed her.

“Sir, can I say one more thing?” she shy asked.

“Please keep it brief,” he nodded his head.

“John,” Carol looked directly at him. “I’m so sorry for the hurt that I’ve caused you. Take good care of Catherine and your baby, okay?” her voice cracked as she started to cry and got up leaving the stand. Sitting between Captain Kirk and Dr. McCoy, she looked to Kirk and quietly whispered through her tears, “I’m sorry, Jim.” As she reached for him seeking his comfort, Kirk slid down the bench away from her with hurt written on his face causing her to sob quietly into her hands at his avoidance of her. Dr. McCoy clenched his jaw and wrapped an arm around the sobbing woman patting her gently on the back.

“To conclude our session for the day, I would ask that the accused Commander John Harrison, also now known to us as Khan Noonien Singh, please take the stand,” President Mintaine announced.

_“I love you. Don’t forget that,”_ Catherine gave him a quick peck on the cheek. _“Give them hell.”_

Nodding slightly to acknowledge her encouragement, John got up and made his way to the front of the chamber. Reaching the stand, the same female Vulcan council member that swore in Catherine stopped him and had him put his hand on the surface of her PADD, again asking, “Do you solemnly swear or affirm that you will tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth under pains and penalties of perjury?”

“I swear it,” John replied.

The Caitian councilor, Starfleet Admiral S’rrel, stood up and walked forward to begin questioning John. With Nero’s destruction of Vulcan, the Caitians joined the Federation slightly sooner than they otherwise would have if it were not for his interference with the timeline. His long cat-like tail swinging behind him, Admiral S’rrel stroked his whiskers thoughtfully before starting to ask John many questions about his involvement with Admiral Marcus and Section 31. He then honed in on John’s past and his involvement with the Eugenics Wars.

“As we heard from Miss McGivers and later from Dr. Marcus, you had within your possession items which in your era would have been labeled as weapons of mass destruction, did you not?” Admiral S’rrel asked.

“Yes, I did. I will not deny it. As so described earlier, I developed and launched the Morning Star device into orbit around the planet. I had in my possession the genetic sequence for the flesh eating strain of ‘group A’ _streptococcus_ and was able to transform it into weapon form. I also had acquired over 200 bio-warheads from the former Soviet Union in 1995. While fully capable, I never once used any of these weapons,” John calmly explained. Catherine shuddered ever so slightly at the realization of just exactly how strong and dangerous of a man he could truly be.

“I read a report and transcript of an assembly you held with delegates from various nations in the Middle East and Southern Asia regions of Earth. It said that at that meeting, you demonstrated the Morning Star’s abilities before issuing them an ultimatum. Can you remind me, what exactly was it you told them? I wouldn’t want to misquote you.”

“If I fall, the world falls with me,” John winced and mumbled.

“I’m sorry. Can you say that again? I didn’t quite hear you,” Admiral S’rrel lied as his cat ears gave him an excellent sense of sound.

“If I fall, the world falls with me!” John repeated loudly. “Need I remind you that I could very well have destroyed the world with my defeat, but instead my family and I fled to find a new world of our own.”

“Noted,” the admiral nodded. “Which brings us back to the present day. During the investigation into Admiral Marcus’ activity, we discovered a recording of one of his sessions with you after he first found you adrift on the _Botany Bay_. I will play it now.”

A slightly grainy video began to play on the screen. In the picture, a shirtless John dripping with sweat could be seen strapped down to a biobed that was tilted so that he was nearly standing. Admiral Marcus paced back and forth while Dr. Zineeri injected John with various hyposprays despite his audible protests. Marcus walked up to John and whispered something in his ear to which John replied full of anger, “I’ve never trusted humans, and I never will! I’ve never been able to forgive them for the death of my mother!”

Catherine covered her mouth as she tried to hold back tears knowing that they were probably in the midst of torturing John when this event took place.

“Are those your words, Harrison?” Admiral S’rrel asked after stopping the video recording.

“Those words were spoken by me,” John’s voice quivered.

“Objection!” Kirk suddenly stood up and shouted. “The man was clearly being tortured and was in duress! Besides, his political views are not on trial!”

“On the contrary, Captain Kirk, Harrison’s views and motives are, indeed, at the very heart of the matter,” the admiral sneered.

“Captain Kirk, take your seat. Another outburst like that, and I’m afraid that I will have to hold you in contempt,” President Mintaine warned him. “Continue.”

“Indeed, history does show that Harrison collaborated with a gentleman who carried out an attack on a session of the United Nations using sarin gas. This attack so conveniently killed the very Augment, Vasily Hunyadi, who was his rival and earlier attempted to assassinate him. Do you deny your alliance with the man who performed this attack killing innocent people, Commander? Don’t wait for the translation! Answer me now!” the admiral shouted. There were often delays in the proceedings as those who were speaking had to wait for the universal translators to finish processing their words for those councilors who were not familiar with the languages of Earth.

“I cannot deny it,” John looked down at his lap feeling slightly defeated as the room filled with hushed murmurs at his admission.

_“John, please do not give up,”_ he suddenly could hear Catherine’s soft pleading in his mind above the other noise in the room. _“I’m still here, and I still love you,”_ she smiled tenderly as he looked up at her. _“Remind them how far you’ve come. Remind them of us and our love, and remind them of our unborn child which is the product of that love. If you hated humanity as much as Admiral S’rrel is trying to make it sound like, then we would not be together.”_

_“Imzadi, thank you,”_ John regained his composure and straightened his sherwani as he sat up straight and proud. “If I am so hateful of humans that you make me out to be, then what about Catherine?” he asked loudly causing those in the room to hush.

“Beg your pardon?” Admiral S’rrel moved his cat ear to listen better.

“Catherine is human, and only half-human at that, and yet, I love her even more than I love my own life. I even risked the lives of my fellow Augments to marry her and be with her. I could easily have used her and then abandoned her once my family was safe. Yes, I may be superior to her genetically in every way, but she is ultimately my better half. Only together are we better,” he looked at Catherine.

_“At everything,”_ she mouthed back to him.

“If she is only a mere human, and half at that, what caused an arrogant Augment such as you to fall in love with her. What made little Nurse Catherine Troi so special?” the admiral asked almost purring.

“I loved her not for the way she danced with my angels but for the way the sound of her name could silence my demons,” John lightly smiled recalling the words written by Christopher Poindexter. “Catherine accepted me as a person. She did not care that I was different or even a freak as so many have called me. She did not care what I had done or the mistakes I had made in my past. She only cared that I was a man that was alone and hurting, a man that needed a friend and ally. She looked past my flaws, which I was too proud to admit that I even had, and true to her noble profession sought to heal me of my pain. No one, not even my closest Augment family and comrades had ever done that to the extent that she did. They, including my sister and nephew, were mostly worried about pleasing me and following my orders. Catherine was willing and ready to sacrifice everything for me: her career, her reputation, her freedom, and even her life. I do not know how her heart was able to endure both of our pain as I know her psionic abilities causes her to experience all of my emotions. I even tried to send her away once to spare her, but she refused to leave my side. How could I not love her?

“My life has always been difficult, and I’m honestly tired of the constant struggle. My recent actions have caused many so much grief, and for that I am remorseful. At this time, I only ask that you show me mercy, not for my sake, but for the sake of my wife and unborn child. True to her faithful and loving nature, I know that my wife has requested that we share the same punishment, but she is not a wretch like I am. And our child is completely innocent of both of our crimes. He or she should not suffer or face persecution because of the blood on my hands. So, here I am, the great Khan Noonien Singh, pleading with you to please at the very least provide us somewhere quiet where we can be safe and unharassed,” John finished allowing a couple tears to flow freely.

 “And what about your fellow Augments? What should we do with them?” the admiral asked calmly.

“Of course, I would prefer that they be reanimated and allowed to lead their own lives as their only crime is that they have only ever followed my orders. If this is not to be permitted, then I beg that they at least be kept safe from harm and left to sleep,” he answered.

President Mintaine allowed a couple other councilors to question John before starting to adjourn for the day. As he was preparing to conclude, Admiral Morrow ran to his side and whispered in his ear. Catherine noted the president’s face turning pale as the admiral returned to his seat. After calming down, the president announced, “Tomorrow we were to hear testimony from Dr. Uzumaki and Dr. Zineeri who were collaborators with Admiral Marcus. I have just been informed, however, that Dr. Uzumaki was gruesomely murdered and his cellmate, Dr. Zineeri, has escaped. At this time, Dr. Zineeri is considered to be armed and dangerous. We will therefore, proceed with deliberations tomorrow while our security forces search for the doctor. Clearly, he will need to be examined at his own trial now. This concludes today’s proceedings, court is adjourned.”

“John,” Catherine gasped, “I’m frightened.” 

“Dr. Zineeri is certainly on the run. I do not believe we have anything to be concerned about,” John attempted to comfort her before they were led out in handcuffs to their awaiting security detail. 

The couple rode in silence in the transport vehicle that was taking them back to the compound that held their secure quarters. As always, the vehicle was flanked by security forces to ensure their safety and also to ensure that they could not escape. Catherine clasped tightly to John in worry over the recent news of Dr. Zineeri’s escape. He leaned his head on hers occasionally kissing her on the temple in attempts to reassure her. Suddenly there was chaos surrounding their vehicle as phaser fire erupted and their driver slammed on the brakes. Soon, the atmosphere became filled with a smoky gas causing everyone, including John, to choke. 

“John, I can’t breathe,” Catherine gasped for air. “I think that I’m going to pass out,” she noted before losing consciousness. 

“We need to get out of-“ John tried to break the window before he also succumbed to inhaling the toxic fumes. 

Some unknown amount of time later, Catherine struggled to open her eyes and blinked as they adjusted to the bright light of the room in which she was being held. She shivered feeling cold and managed to look down to note that she only had on a rather short, thin hospital gown. She put a hand to her belly, and upon feeling the baby kick, she felt at least some relief. Feeling a draught on the back of her neck, she reached her hand up to try to warm it only to discover that her once long, curly hair was almost completely buzzed off. Struggling to sit up, she choked back a sob as she noted that there was crusted blood at the corner of her lip and that her ankles were shackled to chains that were attached to the wall. 

“John?” she started to cry not being able to sense his presence. 

“Ah, nice to see you’re awake,” a voice noted. “Welcome home, Nurse Troi,” Dr. Zineeri grinned as he entered the room. “I never really got to work with you before now, but your husband will be overjoyed to see me, I’m sure. The four of us, you, John, the baby, and me, are going to have so much fun together. Like one little happy family.” 

“John!” Catherine cried and screamed at the top of her lungs as Dr. Zineeri started to laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry to leave it off here! :( I will get the next chapter up as soon as I can!


	36. Unbreakable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for violence, medical torture, and non-con
> 
> Listening track selections: “Midna in Distress” by Koji Kondo, “Pain Everlasting” by Murray Gold, and “The East Wind” by David Arnold & Michael Price

“Fascinating,” Spock climbed out of the empty transport vehicle with his tricorder in hand. 

“What have you discovered, commander?” Admiral Morrow asked walking into the lab with Captain Kirk and Dr. McCoy. 

“The driver was found inside already deceased at the scene. The autopsy showed the cause of death to be asphyxiation, but there are no physical signs to indicate that he was strangled. Until his toxicology reports are completed, it is only logical to conclude that some sort of gas was utilized. Some of the surviving security officers described an odd smell in the air, but none could confirm that a gas was used, as there was already smoke in the air from the wreckage of their vehicles. In the backseat, however, I found some blood drops indicating that a struggle likely took place. My readings show that the blood belongs to both a male and a female.” 

“The Harrisons?” Kirk wondered aloud. 

“It is reasonable to assume that it is indeed their blood, but I will compare the samples against their Section 31 database records which were recovered from Admiral Marcus’ office,” answered Spock. 

“Commander, are you suggesting that the Harrisons did not escape but rather were taken against their will?” the admiral questioned. 

“An ancestor of mine maintained that if you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth,” Spock again arched his brow. 

“No shit, Sherlock,” Dr. McCoy rolled his eyes and muttered under his breath. 

“Harry!” Kestra Troi appeared in the doorway trying to force her way between the two guards posted there. “Let me in!” she stomped on one of their feet. 

“Kestra?” Admiral Morrow noted the commotion. “Officers, it’s alright. She won’t compromise the evidence or hinder our investigation,” he ordered them to admit her. 

“Harry,” Kestra paused to catch her breath upon reaching where the admiral and his companions were standing. 

“It’s been quite a long time, Kestra,” the admiral smiled gently. 

“You two know each other?” Dr. McCoy asked Kestra. 

“We were classmates. I attended Starfleet Academy for a short time until I got bored and found better things to occupy my time,” Kestra explained. 

“She means that she discovered men,” Admiral Morrow laughed. 

“Harry, what happened? Where are my daughter and son-in-law? Do you think that they’re in danger?” she started to get tears in her eyes. “And don’t lie to me. You know that I can tell if you’re lying,” she warned him. 

“Really, we don’t know what happened to them yet, but I have my best officers and scientists on this case,” he reported in reference to Spock, Dr. McCoy, and Captain Kirk. “I’m going to do everything in my power, devote all of the resources I have available, to finding them and bringing them back home safe and sound.” 

“Are they in harm’s way?” she wiped a stray tear off her cheek. 

“Well, there’s no use in lying, but it appears that it is likely that they were kidnapped and that there was a struggle,” Admiral Morrow frowned. 

“Please, do everything you can to bring them home. I love them both so much,” Kestra started to cry freely. 

“Commander Spock, update me with your findings when you learn something new,” the admiral ordered. “Come on, Kestra,” he led her out of the lab to leave his crew to work. 

Meanwhile, in a location unknown to the Harrisons and those looking for them, Catherine shivered as she wrapped her arms around herself in an attempt to warm her body the thin hospital gown being ineffective in providing her with protection from the chilled air. _“John, where are you? What does Dr. Zineeri want with us?”_ she sighed and thought to herself. 

“What’s on your mind?” Dr. Zineeri slunk through the door to her cell. 

“How did you get us here? What did you use on us?” 

“Something that your husband is quite familiar with having consorted with someone that used it to kill one of his enemies in an attack on the United Nations. I used heavily concentrated sarin gas but did put in an additive giving it an odor to ensure that if there were a leak in any of the canisters it could be detected.” 

“If it was so concentrated, why didn’t it kill us?” she furrowed her brow. 

“One of the many wonderful vaccines that you both received during your time in Section 31 is what prevented you from succumbing completely to the gas. Yours truly developed it. No need to thank me,” he laughed. “You probably do not remember as you were both barely conscious at the time, but you both put up quite a fight when my men tried to take you from the transport vehicle.” 

“Why did you cut off my hair?” 

“I didn’t order it, actually. I’ve always quite liked your hair, so lovely and soft,” Dr. Zineeri went to stroke her nearly bald head causing her to duck away in disgust. “Do not worry. Between the progesterone coursing through your veins and a couple injections of your dear husband’s blood, I’m sure your hair will be growing back in no time.” 

“What do you want with us? I barely even know you!” 

“First of all, I want your husband so I can complete the work that I started when we found him. I can’t have the rest of the Augments as they are heavily protected right now, so I will just have to settle for him. I was making such excellent progress when that fool Admiral Marcus decided your husband would be better off helping him with his war mongering,” Dr. Zineeri grumbled. 

“You were torturing him! As much as I hated Marcus, at least it seems he got John away from you!” Catherine spat in anger. 

“Space is full of disease and darkness, and I was working to make us all better! Your husband’s body is like nothing I’ve ever seen before. We Denobulans have successfully dabbled in genetic engineering with positive results, but not to the degree of success achieved by Dr. Kaur. No, she was a genius despite the crude technology she had at her disposal. I had heard bits and pieces about the Chrysalis Project, but never in a million years did I ever think I’d get my hands on any of the Chrysalis children let alone the alpha male himself!” he rubbed his hands together in glee. 

“What the hell do you want with me? I’m not an Augment. I’m not even a full-blooded human!” 

“No, but you are half-Betazoid, my dear. I had hoped that Marcus could find me a full Betazoid, not a half-breed like you, but I was growing impatient and settled for you,” he scrunched his nose. 

“Then it was true,” she frowned. “Marcus never did select me because of my professional prestige or abilities as a nurse. He selected me because I could babysit John for him and because you wanted a Betazoid.” 

“Now, do not be so down on yourself,” Dr. Zineeri scolded her. “You’ve done wonderfully. Besides, I never thought or dreamed that you and Khan would hit it off and fall in love. You made it so much easier for me. I was delighted to learn of your pregnancy.” 

“You will not touch our child!” she stood up and put her hands over her abdomen protectively. 

“Do not worry. If something does happen to this one, there will be many, many more to take its place. I simply cannot wait to see what kind of abilities your little ones will have. Now, I do not think I will let the two of you have conjugal visits very often, but there are certainly other ways of achieving conception without sexual intercourse being involved,” he reached under her gown cupping her bare sex. 

Spitting in his face and swatting his hand away, Catherine snarled. “Where is John?” she asked through clenched but chattering teeth not wanting to hear Dr. Zineeri’s excited squeals any longer. 

“Ah, yes, I suppose it’s time to reunite you two lovebirds,” he nodded. Taking out a small control pad from his lab coat, he punched in a code causing the one wall to turn from white to transparent exposing an adjoining room. 

“Imzadi,” Catherine gasped at the sight she beheld through the glass. 

Just like in the video clip played during their trial, John was once again strapped to a biobed tilted at an angle so that he was almost standing. Bare except for a small loincloth that was barely adequate to cover his well-endowed loins, he had multiple pieces of medical equipment attached to his skin and tubes inserted into his various blood vessels and bodily orifices. A gastrostomy tube had been inserted though his abdomen wall and into his stomach so that he would not need to be fed food orally anytime in the near future. 

On the other side of the transparent wall, unaware that anyone could see or was watching him as his side of the wall looked like a mirror, John struggled to regain consciousness. Noting that his right eye was swollen shut, he slowly opened the left wincing at the bright light in the room. While he would usually instinctually try to fight against the bonds that held him down to the table, John refrained knowing it would be best to try to determine the exact nature of his situation before making a move to escape. Noting the medical equipment and tubing, he gently wriggled side to side to test his bonds only to discover a sharp pain in his side. _“Definitely have broken ribs,”_ he determined. _“Why am I so injured? Why aren’t my wounds healing? Where is Catherine?”_  

A door opened in the wall to his side, and an Orion woman with a lab coat over her otherwise scantily clad form entered carrying a tray of syringes filled with an opaque green substance almost the same color as her skin. “That’s my Marta,” Dr. Zineeri explained. “She used to be the top attraction at the largest casino on Rigel II until she lost her mind. I was able to save her somewhat, but unfortunately her star will never shine as brightly as it once did.” 

Thinking John was still unconscious and knowing that those on the other side could not hear her unless Dr. Zineeri activated the intercom, Marta began speaking to John as she prepared some more syringes and attached more tubing to one of the ones inserted into his arm. “You poor dear. Why did they have to go and smash up your beautiful face so much? If it would help, I’d kiss you and make it better,” Marta pouted. “Maybe if I’m really good and please Dr. Zineeri, he will let me have some fun with you,” she forgot about the two-way glass and stroked his inner thigh briefly before returning to her work. It took every ounce of John’s self-control not to lash out in rage at hearing the Denobulan’s name or her touching him so intimately without his consent. 

“Marta,” Dr. Zineeri’s voice suddenly came over the intercom causing her to jump. “Behave yourself and proceed.” 

“Yes, sir!” Marta’s cheeks became hot realizing Dr. Zineeri saw her fawning over John. 

Hooking up a small bag of clear liquid to the IV tubing, she injected the green-filled syringes and mixed it before opening a valve allowing the substance to fill John’s veins. As soon as it came into contact with the inner walls of his circulatory system, John felt as if he were burning from the inside out, became drenched in sweat, and could not help but release a scream experiencing the searing pain. 

“What are you doing to him?” Catherine demanded as she ran to the glass wall dragging her chains behind her. “John!” she hit at the wall with her fist. 

“He can neither see nor hear you without this,” Dr. Zineeri shook his head holding up the device he had spoken into earlier to give his orders to Marta. “Watch.” 

Still in agonizing pain, Catherine watched in horror as Marta pulled a strap over John’s forehead and tightened it so he could not move his head. Pressing some controls on the wall, a device with two long needles lowered from the ceiling. After positioning a needle on each side of John’s head, Marta pressed another button causing the needles to bore into John’s temples and into his skull. John again screamed as his body shook within its bonds from the agony. Catherine felt as if her blood ran cold within her veins as she began to cry. “Imazdi,” she wept placing an open palm over the glass hoping desperately that John could somehow sense her presence. 

“Come now, stop crying,” Dr. Zineeri patted her on the head and pressed a button causing the wall to turn white once again. “We wouldn’t want to upset baby, now, would we?” 

“Please stop it,” she sniffled. 

“Oh, you’ll come around to me someday, my dear. Well, I think it’s time for your husband and I to become reacquainted. I’ll be seeing you later,” the scientist walked out the door leaving Catherine sinking to the floor heaped into a ball crying. 

As Dr. Zineeri joined Marta in the room with John, she reported, “I successfully obtained the brain tissue samples you wanted.” 

“Good girl,” Dr. Zineeri beamed a wide Denobulan grin as he briefly squeezed one of her breasts through her lab coat. “Take them down the hall to the histology lab. I’m curious to see how he recovered from those wonderful Ceti eel larva of mine.” 

“Yes sir,” Marta nodded and left. 

“Long time no see, Khan,” Dr. Zineeri patted John on the cheek. 

“You sick bastard,” John raged as he worked on catching his breath. “Where are we?” 

“Oh, how quite rude of me. I should have told you before. Welcome home, Khan. We’re in your former compound north of Chandigarh in the Himalayan Mountains. All of the equipment needed updated, of course, but I was delighted to discover that the infrastructure was well preserved despite the bombings President Bill Clinton of the United States of America had ordered to be carried out on the region. I can’t believe that pathetic womanizer was the ultimate cause of your defeat,” Dr. Zineeri heckled. “Anyways, I found this left behind in the armory with an ample supply of ammunition. Isn’t it primitive?” he held up an antique small caliber revolver. “Quite effective, though, in getting the job done.” 

Sick of Dr. Zineeri’s ramblings, John snarled, “Where is my wife?” 

“Oh, she and baby are very close by safe and sound. I was just telling her about all the fun we’re going to have. Can the kids call me Uncle Zineeri?” he mocked as he tucked the revolver away in his lab coat pocket. 

“If you do anything to them, I-“ 

“You’ll do what? Kill me? You’re hardly in any position to harm a fly let alone touch me. Don’t worry, I’ll let you see them every once in a while. More often than not, though, you’re wife will probably be pregnant when you get to see her.” 

“There is no way in hell we’ll have more children just so that you can play sick games with them!” John growled. 

“As I explained to your wife, there are other ways of bringing about conception. I think that I shall explain and even demonstrate,” Dr. Zineeri began circling around John. “First, using tried and true methods, I’ll force Catherine to hyperovulate and harvest her eggs.” 

“You’re insane if you think I’ll voluntarily give you what you need,” John snorted. 

“Oh, I know you won’t, so I will force the issue,” the scientist pulled on some gloves and stood behind John patting his bare behind briefly through an opening in the biobed which left it constantly exposed. “Take a deep breath,” he advised before ramming a cold, wet device into John’s rectum causing him to wince with the invasive discomfort. “The human male prostate is such an interesting organ,” Dr. Zineeri explained as he flipped a switch causing the device to vibrate while still inside of John. “Using this method, I will merely stimulate you to the point of orgasm and collect the semen I need in order to perform in vitro fertilization and plant the fertilized eggs in your woman’s womb,” he turned of the device and set it down. Taking off his gloves, he walked around to face John. “I see my special formulization that Marta gave you just a bit ago is already wearing you down. That was entirely too easy,” he remarked observing John’s prominent erection. “Maybe I’ll even let the Orion men play with you, too, since you seem to get off on it. Well, I best get going. I’ll leave you with your thoughts.” 

“Let her go! I’m the one you want!” John shouted as Dr. Zineeri walked out the door leaving him humiliated and exposed with his arousal peeking from behind his loincloth. Not caring if anyone saw or heard, John screamed and fought against his bonds in pain and anger. 

Not entirely sure how long they had been there, about what Catherine thought to be a week went by with her only seeing John during some of his sessions through the glass-like wall. Despite wanting to rebel and be uncooperative, Catherine did everything she was told in hopes that it would somehow spare John and keep their unborn child safe. Her hopes, however, were to be shattered when Dr. Zineeri and Marta walked inside her cell early one day before she got her usual meager breakfast. 

“Hold still, my sweet,” Dr. Zineeri advised as Marta injected Catherine with a hypospray. 

“What?” Catherine barely got out before losing control of the muscles of her body as she fell to the ground. She maintained the ability to breathe and was conscious. 

“The paralysis should only last about ten minutes which is just long enough to complete our first task of the day,” he explained as Marta pulled Catherine’s head and neck onto her lap. After having Marta adjust the positioning slightly, Dr. Zineeri pulled out a long, thin needle. Cleaning Catherine’s neck with alcohol and using a tricorder with an ultrasound capability for guidance, Dr. Zineeri twice inserted the needle into the front of her neck injecting a small amount of a substance into the nerve bundles he had pinpointed. Being unable to do anything, Catherine could only express her pain within the confines of her mind. “All done,” Dr. Zineeri announced. “Now we’ll wait a few minutes and come back for you,” he and Marta left her lying on the floor. 

As the hypospray wore off, Catherine struggled and was finally able to get off the floor and onto the bench in her small cell. Part of her longed to cry, but she was still quite weakened from the paralytic Marta gave her. Soon enough, Marta and a bulky Orion male arrived. The male cuffed Catherine and unchained her ankles before lifting her roughly and plopping her into the wheelchair they had brought with them. 

“Dr. Zineeri said that if you’re really good today, you might get to spend some time alone with Khan later. You can probably even touch him,” Marta smiled. “I know that I love getting to spend time with him. He’s gorgeous.” 

Catherine, unable to make a sound in reply, gritted her teeth as they wheeled her into a large room with an operating table. She felt bile rise into her throat unsure as to what was soon to take place in this room. Still too weak to fight back, the Orion male picked her up and put her onto the table. Taking off her cuffs, he and Marta began strapping Catherine down starting with spreading out her arms. In the end, all she could move was her head. 

Marta remained behind while the Orion male left to inform Dr. Zineeri that they were ready. As the two women waited, a few silent tears rolled down Catherine cheeks. A few minutes later, the door opened revealing the Orion male pushing John in on his biobed with Dr. Zineeri not far behind. 

_“Imzadi,”_ Catherine hoped that he could communicate with her. 

_“Catherine,”_ John nearly wept at the sight of her strapped to the operating table. “What are you going to do to her?” he roared at Dr. Zineeri as Marta pulled up Catherine’s hospital gown exposing her abdomen. 

“Do not worry. You will not have to listen to her screams. I temporarily paralyzed her vocal cords to spare you,” Dr. Zineeri smiled maliciously. “Marta, if she’s ready, you may proceed.” 

Nodding with Dr. Zineeri’s command, Marta went to the control panel and punching in some commands lowered and started a device. A long, needle-like object pierced Catherine’s lower abdomen as tears began to run in streams from her eyes. She opened her mouth in a natural reaction to scream, but all that came out of her throat were quiet, raspy breaths. She turned her head and looked to John with fear and pain in her eyes. John, powerless to help her, fought back his own tears as he looked at a large monitor showing their child within Catherine’s womb. As the needle reached the baby, it started to squirm with the invasive prodding. Catherine’s face contorted in pain both her own and her unborn child’s. Although she could not yet communicate with the child telepathically, they still shared a deeper bond than what humans could experience. 

“Stop! You’re hurting them!” John screamed. “Please, let them go! I’ll do anything you want. You can keep me forever. Just stop this,” he pleaded through his tears. 

“Did you get the tissue sample?” Dr. Zineeri ignored John’s pleas. 

“Yes, sir,” the green-skinned Orion woman replied. 

“Very well, you may finish the procedure. Get her cleaned up and take her back to her room,” he pulled off the gloves he had donned and sauntered towards John. “They’re quite alright. Besides, if your child is as augmented as we suspect, it is probably already healed. And if not, well, it will give me the opportunity to experiment on treating congenital deformities.” 

“They do not deserve this. They are not heartless animals. They’re not like me,” John frowned as the Orion male unstrapped Catherine, rebound her hands, and forcefully sat her back in the wheelchair before taking her away back to her cell. 

“You are always such a gentleman. Oh well, now it’s your turn,” Dr. Zineeri motioned to the operating table. 

A few hours later, Catherine finally regained her ability to speak as the medication wore off that had paralyzed her vocal cords earlier. Marta stopped by to check on her and bring her something to eat, but all Catherine could do was sob and hold her abdomen, which was still tender where the needle was inserted. Despite her madness, Marta could not help but feel a little sorry for her part in what happened to Catherine. 

“Don’t cry, honey,” Marta pulled Catherine’s head to her chest and gently stroked her hair, which was now growing out quite quickly as they had given her a couple injections of a serum made from John’s blood. “Your baby is okay. We didn’t hurt it. We just needed a tissue sample,” she tried to reassure her only succeeding in making her cry harder. “You’re not making it easier on her, you know!” 

“Her?” Catherine gasped and sat up. 

“Your little girl,” Marta smiled. “She’s very strong, but all of this crying is surely upsetting her.” 

“You mean that I’m having a little girl?” Catherine wiped away her tears. 

“You didn’t know?” the Orion woman gawked at her. 

“No, John and I were going to let it be a surprise,” she looked down at her lap thinking of her husband. 

“Oh, I’m sorry about that,” Marta felt embarrassed for ruining the surprise. 

“It’s okay. You didn’t know. God, what I’d do to get out of here,” she sighed and thought aloud. 

“I can’t let you do that!” 

“I know you can’t. It’d be nice to at least be able to see John like you said earlier.” 

“I’ll see what I can do,” Marta smiled before getting up and leaving. 

_“I just want to go home. We thought Marcus was cruel. Even our cell with no privacy was more humane and tolerable than this!”_ Catherine struggled not to start crying again. 

The next morning, Marta brought Catherine her usual breakfast and had a big grin on her face. “Good news,” she reported. “Dr. Zineeri said that I can take you to see Khan this morning.” 

“When?” Catherine’s face brightened. 

“Once you’re finished eating. He said you have to eat all of it. He’s noticed you’ve lost a couple pounds,” Marta explained. 

“Oh, poor appetite,” she conceded. 

True to her word, Marta bound Catherine’s hands and took her around to the entrance to John’s adjoining room where Dr. Zineeri was awaiting them. “I’m taking these off, but do not think of trying anything,” she warned Catherine. 

“I won’t,” Catherine agreed looking to her then Dr. Zineeri. 

“Okay, go ahead,” Marta opened the door letting her go inside with Dr. Zineeri following her. 

“Imzadi,” Catherine took a few steps and stopped in front of him almost afraid to touch him out of concern that it may cause him pain. 

“Catherine?” John looked in the direction of her voice, but she noted that his eyes were not focused directly on her. 

“Why aren’t you looking at me?” 

“Catherine, I can’t see you. I am blind,” he reported. 

“What the fuck did you do to him? You sick bastard!” Catherine barked at Dr. Zineeri. 

“Now, now, do not be so quick to judge,” Dr. Zineeri snickered. “I induced cortical blindness by causing lesions to his temporal cortex. It will only be temporary. Would you rather I gouged his eyes out to see if they regenerated?” 

“No!” 

“Catherine,” John called for her his voice quivering as he longed to feel her touch. 

“Can’t you just leave us alone for a little while? I’ve cooperated with you and have done everything you’ve asked of me,” Catherine noted. 

“Very well, you may have five minutes,” Dr. Zineeri agreed and walked out of the room. 

“Have you overheard anyone say where we are?” Catherine asked as she carefully stroked John’s cheek. 

“We’re actually being held in one of my former compounds. We’re north of Chandigarh in Nepal in the Himalayan Mountains,” John replied. “Please kiss me. You won’t hurt me.” 

Her heart aching for him, Catherine carefully stepped onto the bottom of John’s biobed before leaning up and kissing him gently on the lips. _“John, I can’t stand another moment here,”_ she struggled to maintain her composure. 

_“Kiss me harder, and I will tell you the plan I’ve been formulating,”_ he bargained with her. 

She complied and kissed him passionately before gently brushing his now quite greasy, dirty hair out of his face. _“Well?”_  

_“I know our exact location in the complex, and being of my own design, know each and every way out of here. I have successfully loosened the binding to my right wrist. Using her lust for me to my advantage, I have learned from Marta the location of stores of food and clothing. If we are to survive the harsh conditions of the area, we will need those items. There is only several other staff here at all times. Marta also carries a phaser inside her lab coat which she enjoys running up and down my inner thighs in attempts to bring me to arousal.”_

Catherine grunted. 

_“She’s been unsuccessful every time,”_ John grinned. _“If we are to do this now, time will be of the essence. If needed, I will stay behind to give you a better chance of escaping.”_

_“Absolutely not! You’re coming with me!”_

_“I will do my best then,”_ he nodded. _“There are scalpels in the drawer to my right, so arm yourself with one to start out. Let us hope those phaser lessons I gave you when Carol Marcus was being a voyeur will pay off,”_ he managed to tease. _“I’m going to need you to be my eyes.”_  

After five minutes, Dr. Zineeri returned as he said he would. “How are my two favorite lovers?” he asked as Catherine pulled away from John. 

“Something’s wrong with his wrist,” she insisted. “His right wrist.” 

“What could possibly be wrong with it?” 

“Here, look,” she encouraged the scientist to look closely at John’s arm. 

Peering closely, Dr. Zineeri suddenly found John’s fist making contact with his throat causing him to choke. John then punched him in the face knocking him out quite soundly falling in a heap to the floor. “Marta!” Catherine shouted. “Something’s wrong with Dr. Zineeri!” 

Marta came running inside, “What happened?” As she bent over to check on him, Catherine stood behind her and using one of the scalpels from the drawer, slit her throat from ear to ear. 

“That’s for hurting my baby, you bitch,” Catherine spat before pushing Marta’s lifeless body over onto its side. Successfully finding the phaser, she grabbed a spare lab coat that was hanging by the door and put it on placing the phaser in one pocket and the scalpel in the other. After cuffing Dr. Zineeri’s hands with the shackles Marta had used on her earlier, Catherine then rushed to John’s side to help him finish removing his bonds and disconnecting him from the various tubing connected to him. “Careful, John,” she warned him as he took a tenuous step down off the biobed. 

“I’m alright,” John reported noting the strength in his legs to be adequate. “Practically naked, but fine.” 

“You know that’s how I like you best,” she jabbed before pulling the phaser out of her pocket. “Ready?” 

“Yes,” he took hold of her left upper arm so she could lead him. 

Cautiously peering out into the corridor, Catherine reported, _“We’re a go.”_

_“Turn right,”_ John began to direct her. After a few uneventful twists and turns, they successfully found their way to the supply room. Catherine found adequate clothing boots and quickly dressed herself before helping John to dress as well. Packing a knapsack with as many supplies as she could, she put it on his back over his heavy coat with which she bundled him up for the cold mountain weather. After packing a bag of her own, John held it up for her so she could get it onto her back. Overjoyed to find one, albeit it was outdated compared to the one she had while she was with Section 31, Catherine strapped a tricorder over shoulder. They then continued their escape knowing that by now someone had probably discovered Dr. Zineeri and Marta. 

As John continued to provide Catherine with directions, their suspicions were correct as they encountered a few of Dr. Zineeri’s minions. Quickly and easily taking them out with her stolen phaser, Catherine continued with John in tow as they finally reached an exit. Bursting outside, Catherine felt a chill go down her spine as the cool mountain air hit her in the face. “This is going to be hard, John,” she sighed noting the rocky terrain. 

“I trust you to lead me, but we need to be quick as possible. If I start to lag behind, keep going.” 

Using her tricorder to determine their coordinates and John’s recollection of the area, they carefully made their way through what were actually only the mountainous foothills of the Himalayas. As the sun started to set, they determined that they needed to find shelter for the night. 

About half an hour later, Catherine grinned, “I see a cave, John. It’s quite large, too.” 

“Have your phaser ready, Imzadi. Who knows what may be lurking inside,” he advised. 

Finding the cave empty, they slung off their bags placing them on the ground. Catherine quickly unrolled two small slumber bags they had brought with them and spread them out before having John sit down to rest on one. 

“I’m going to find some items to use for fuel in the event that we need it. I also heard a stream nearby, so I will fill our canteens. I’m taking the phaser with me,” Catherine reported. 

“Be careful, my love.” 

Upon returning, Catherine found John lying on his back covered in sweat and shivering. “John, are you alright?” she asked setting down the canteens and some kindling. 

“Something isn’t right. I feel so odd,” he replied. 

“John, you’re burning up with a fever,” Catherine felt his forehead with the back of her hand. “Damn it! If only I had a basic med pack with me, I could give you an antipyretic. We need to get this fever to break,” she sighed. 

“So this is what it is like? I’ve never been ill before in my life. It’s horrible,” he shivered. 

“What exactly were they injecting into you?” 

“I don’t know. It felt like they were pumping me full of acid. My veins and arteries still burn. I’m so thirsty,” he reached up weakly. 

Handing him one of the canteens, Catherine gently propped up his head to help him to take a drink of water. “Drink slowly,” she cautioned him. 

After pulling out some space blankets that John had pilfered from NASA in the 1990’s, she covered him and used the phaser to heat up some nearby rocks. She then wet a cloth and placed it on his forehead trying to break the fever. 

“You know how you’ve told me that you wish that you were like me, an Augment?” he asked quietly his voice slightly raspy. 

“Yes,” she nodded. 

“Before this I never admitted it, but I’ve always been jealous of you,” he said with tears starting to form in his eyes. “I wish that I could have lived a normal life, had parents to love me. With you, despite our harrowing circumstances, I almost got to have that sense of commonness, having parents and my own little family with a wife and child. Now I likely will not even live to see that day,” he closed his eyes as he started to weep quietly. 

“John,” Catherine felt unsure what to even say. Deciding against saying anything, she lay down next to John, and to the best of her ability given the size of her stomach, kissed him on the temple and had him lay his head on her shoulder gently stroking his hair to comfort him. 

“Promise me,” he said his voice shuddering. 

“Promise what?” 

“Promise me that if you make it out of this alive, tell our child about me, the good and the bad.” 

“Imzadi, don’t talk like that,” she scolded him. “Don’t you dare give up on me!” she held him tightly. 

“I’m not giving up. I’m just trying to be realistic. Catherine, I can feel my body growing weaker. Whatever they’ve been injecting into me, it is slowly killing me. I do not know how long my body can hold up before I cannot go any further. In the morning, you should go and try to find help. The longer we tarry here, the higher the chance that Dr. Zineeri will find us. At least if he has me, he will not be in such a hurry to find you.” 

“He wants both of us. He’s told me himself. John, he’s going to use us as long as he can, and when we’re gone, he’s going to use all of the children he will have forced us to have. I’m not leaving you behind.” 

“I just wish that I could see your face one last time,” John began to sob. 

“John, shh,” she did her best to comfort him. As he started to grow quiet exhaustion taking hold of him, she hummed the Indian lullaby that his mother used to sing to him as a child. Finally noting him to be asleep, she gently kissed him on the forehead still covered in a sheen of sweat, “Get some sleep.” 

Early the next morning, the sun starting to rise, Catherine shivered next to John under the space blanket they currently shared. Although she preferred to stay next to him, she crawled out and heated up the nearby rocks again with the phaser. Noting that John was still asleep, she took the phaser and went outside to do her business. Upon returning, he was awake and still quite ill. 

“Catherine, that east wind blowing into the cave is so cold.” 

“I’m sorry, John. Let me get you another blanket,” she started to root through one of their bags. 

“I’m not getting any better,” John said weakly before wincing in pain. 

“What is it? What’s hurting you?” she knelt down beside him. 

“This damn gastrostomy tube keeps getting tangled up and tugging on my flesh,” he lifted up his shirt showing her the tube still protruding from his abdomen. “What were to happen if it were removed?” 

“The opening would just need a bandage placed over it, and it would close spontaneously. But we can’t just pull it out, John, there’s a small balloon holding it inside of you,” she warned him. 

“If you won’t do it, then I will,” he reached and took hold of it. Before she could stop him, he yanked with all the remaining strength he had left and pulled it out before crying out in pain. After calming down, he advised, “Go on, bandage my wound.” 

“Stubborn man,” she huffed and fetched the first aid kit that she packed. As she cleaned the opening and bandaged it, she bit her lip noting just how pale he looked. 

“Did you miss me?” a voice suddenly asked from behind them. “I certainly missed you. You two made quite a mess of things back at the compound, but it’s okay. If you come back with me, I will completely forgive you, and we can start all over again. Now, you did kill my sweet Marta, but I’m sure you can make up for her loss in your own way,” Dr. Zineeri grinned. “Ready to come back home, my sweet pets?” 

“No, we’re not coming back to your den of torture devices!” Catherine shouted in defiance. 

“As if you have any choice in the matter,” Dr. Zineeri frowned and shook his head as he pulled his antique revolver out of his lab coat and aimed it at the couple. Catherine looked for the phaser, and just as she locked eyes on it, Dr. Zineeri shot it into hundreds of pieces along with Catherine’s hope. “You do not have the adequate medical equipment or supplies to deal with his current condition, and if you continue to resist, you most certainly won’t be able to deal with what else I can inflict upon you both if you remain here.” 

Squeezing John’s hand tightly, something akin to primal rage awoke within Catherine. Dropping his hand gently at his side, she got up and suddenly rushed towards Dr. Zineeri with an animalistic scream. Launching herself at the scientist, they both struggled with one another over the revolver until Dr. Zineeri managed to push her causing her to trip and fall backwards over John’s body. She struggled to get back up and knelt with John between her and Dr. Zineeri. 

Steadying the gun in his hand, Dr. Zineeri quickly aimed at John and pulled the trigger. A loud gunshot echoed throughout the cave and John cried out in pain as the bullet pierced his torso, his blood splattering in a mist onto Catherine’s face. 

“No!” Catherine shouted. 

“Now look what you made me do, you stupid woman!” Dr. Zineeri struggled to keep his grasp on the revolver his hands now shaking. 

Catherine got up leaping over John and began struggling again with Dr. Zineeri who dropped the revolver. Managing to reach into the pocket of her coat, Catherine pulled out the scalpel that she swiped from the lab and earlier slit Marta’s neck during their escape. At the opportune moment, she plunged the scalpel into the Denobulan’s neck multiple times before leaving it within his flesh and twisting it, his blood spurting all over her with each of his ever weakening heartbeats. Dr. Zineeri gurgled briefly on his own blood before collapsing dead at her feet. Standing still a bit in shock at what she had just done, Catherine returned to reality upon hearing John moaning in pain. 

“John,” she whispered to herself before running to his side. 

“Imzadi,” John rasped quietly wincing in pain. 

“No, stay quiet,” she admonished him putting her now bloodstained fingers over his lips. After gently pulling aside his coat, she tore through his blood soaked shirt swearing to herself under her breath as she examined his wound. Quickly pulling off her coat and the sweater she found in the supply room, she balled up the sweater and advised him, “I’m going to apply gentle pressure to the wound. Then I’m going to help you to try to roll to your side so I can determine if there is an exit wound. Do you understand?” 

John nodded his head “yes” and proceeded to roll with her help to his side. 

“Good, go ahead and lay on your back. It didn’t go all the way through. If I can keep you from hemorrhaging to death, then you’ll at least have a chance,” she wiped her forehead with the back of her hand smearing blood on it. She picked up the tricorder that she stole from the lab and started scanning him with one hand as she held pressure on his wound with the other. 

After some time passed, John spoke quietly, his breath ragged, doing his best to ignore the burning pain spreading throughout his chest, “It’s alright, Catherine. You’re not a doctor, and you certainly have no experience in treating a wound such as this. I’m not afraid.” 

“Don’t talk like that. Don’t leave me here alone,” she pleaded as she lifted the sweater to check his bleeding. “You might have internal bleeding, but you’re not bleeding out anymore. I think your lung might collapse, too, if you aren’t careful. So stay quiet!” she used a piece of gauze left out of the first aid kit from earlier to wipe the sweat off of his forehead. “If only I had something that I could give you for the pain,” she thought aloud as he started to struggle more and more to breathe. “Keep breathing, John. Just keep breathing,” she urged him. 

“Yours is superior,” he gasped out before losing consciousness the tricorder indicating that his heart was slowing down and starting to stop beating. 

“No you don’t!” she struggled to start performing chest compressions due to her stomach being in the way. The beeping on the tricorder continued to slow despite her ministrations, and growing frustrated, she paused to take a break before slapping him across the cheek in hopes that it would startle him and somehow stimulate him. “Don’t you dare, John!” 

Just as exhaustion was starting to set in and the tricorder was barely registering a heartbeat, Catherine could hear shouting outside the cave entrance. Torn between helping John and whether or not she would need to defend herself, Catherine scanned the cave floor for the revolver Dr. Zineeri dropped. Footsteps growing closer, she spotted the gun, got up and grabbed it, and took aim towards the oncoming intruders. “In here!” she heard a vaguely familiar voice shout. 

“Stay back!” Catherine shouted aiming the revolver at the first person to come in line of her sight. “We’re not going back to that living hell!” 

“Lieutenant Harrison, we’re not going to harm you,” Spock held up his hands and slowly bent down to put his phaser on the ground. 

“Sir?” she choked back a sob upon realizing who it was. 

“Please, put down the gun,” Spock requested. 

“Oh God,” Catherine dropped the revolver and collapsed to her knees upon realizing that they were finally safe. “Is Dr. McCoy with you?” she asked frantically. 

“Yes, he-“ 

“John’s dying! He needs Dr. McCoy’s help!” she crawled on her hands and knees back to John’s side to resume performing the chest compressions. 

“Captain, they are inside the cave. We need Dr. McCoy’s assistance immediately. Commander Harrison is severely wounded and in critical condition,” Spock spoke into his communicator. In a matter of a few seconds, the cave was filling with the blue light of several people being transported inside it. As the blue light subsided, it revealed Dr. McCoy and his medical team. 

“Catherine, what happened?” Dr. McCoy rushed to their side. Spock gently pulled Catherine away so the medical team could start working on John. 

“Dr. Zineeri shot him with an antique revolver,” she panted trying to regain her breath. “It’s a long story,” she started to hyperventilate. 

“Spock, get her out of this filthy place. We’ll be behind you shortly once I can get him stabilized,” Dr. McCoy barked. 

“Please don’t make me leave him,” Catherine cried in the midst of hyperventilating before passing out as Spock scooped her up and had them both transported to one of the awaiting shuttlecraft which then sped with all due haste towards San Francisco. 

 “Catherine, it’s time to wake up.” 

“Hmm?” Catherine started to stir. 

“Come on, little one, open your eyes.” 

Catherine slowly opened her eyes. As her vision came into focus, she registered that her mother was standing over her. “Mother? Where am I?” 

“You’re back in San Francisco, honey,” Kestra stroked Catherine’s short hair out of her face. 

“John?” 

“We nearly lost him. He’s had a hard time of it, but Dr. McCoy thinks that with his Augment resilience, he’s going to be just fine,” the Betazoid woman explained. 

“Where is he? I need to see him.” 

“Over there,” Kestra motioned to the bed next to Catherine’s. “Try not to be upset with all of the equipment. Dr. McCoy has him in an induced coma at the moment to give his body adequate rest,” she warned knowing Catherine would be concerned given that John was currently on a ventilator. 

“Dr. McCoy is a wise man. If he didn’t have him sleeping like this, John would be doing nothing but worrying over the baby and me. Oh, the baby?” 

“Is also fine,” Kestra nodded. “Thanks to mama bear,” she smiled gently. 

“Physically, we’re going to be okay. Mentally, oh mum, it was horrible,” Catherine started to cry. 

“Try not dwell on it right now. Just worry about regaining your strength and helping John get well. Once your bodies are healed, we can focus on healing your hearts and minds.” 

“I will do my best. Do you think Dr. McCoy would let me get cleaned up if you were to help me?” 

“I’ll go and ask him,” Kestra kissed her on the forehead. “No offense, but you could use a good scrub.” 

“Oh mother,” Catherine rolled her eyes. 

A few minutes later, Kestra was washing Catherine’s back when she suddenly noted that her daughter was holding back a sob. “Little one, what is wrong?” 

“My hair!” Catherine let out a cry before alternating between crying and laughing at such a little problem in the grand scheme of things. 

“Sweetheart,” Kestra joined in also crying and laughing in joy to have her beloved children back where they were safe. 

In a couple days, Dr. McCoy cut back on the medications he was using to keep John in the induced coma. Once he felt that John could breathe on his own, he extubated him letting him breathe freely on his own. Despite some slight malnutrition and minor wounds, Dr. McCoy treated Catherine with some prophylactic antibiotics and discharged her thus allowing her to stay at John’s side at all times. 

One evening as she sat next to him reading holding her PADD in one hand and holding John’s hand in the other, Catherine felt his hand twitch before noting him starting to stir. He groaned slightly as his brow furrowed in slight discomfort and confusion. After rubbing his eyes, he opened them and struggled to focus his vision. 

“Darling?” Catherine quietly stood at his side. 

“Imzadi,” John looked directly at her making eye contact. 

“Can you see me?” 

“Yes,” he nodded. “A bit blurry still,” he squinted, “but I can see you.” 

“How do you feel?” 

“Like I got hit by a shuttlecraft,” he grimaced as he shifted to try to make himself more comfortable on the biobed. “I feel terrible, but much improved compared to how I felt before this.” 

“My mother told me that we almost lost you,” Catherine started to sniffle. “Admiral Morrow’s team is not finished with the investigation yet, but Dr. McCoy reports that Dr. Zineeri was testing a compound to see if it could inhibit your immune system.” 

“Well, apparently he was successful. It would explain why my injuries were not healing and why I became so deathly ill,” John closed his eyes briefly. “I hope that I never get ill like that again.” 

“Dr. McCoy believes that your illness was inadvertently my fault,” Catherine frowned. “You were probably fine up until the moment I kissed you. Since your immune system is usually so good at just outright destroying invading organisms, it never had any reason to build up antibodies before this outside of the vaccines that Dr. Zineeri gave you. I exposed you to anything and everything that I’ve ever been incubating in my body during my lifetime, and you had no chance against them without the right antibodies in your system.” 

“It was never your fault. None of this was your fault,” he squeezed her hand causing her to smile as she noted his former strength returning in his grasp. 

“I know it’s not directly my fault,” she nodded. 

“I couldn’t see at the time, but, did you?” he hesitated to ask her. 

“Yes, I killed Marta and Dr. Zineeri. I don’t know what came over me at that time, but I did it,” she swallowed hard. 

“You did what you had to do to get us to safety.” 

“If Spock hadn’t found us just in time, you wouldn’t have made it,” she wavered. 

“Catherine,” John suddenly changed the subject, “I know you’ve always thought that I’d be resistive to going to counseling. I just want you know that after this, I will go willingly. I do ask, though, that you be at my side.” 

“John, what has caused you to change your mind?” 

“Outside of you and whoever is our therapist, I don’t ever want anyone else to know this,” he warned. 

“I won’t way a word without your consent,” she agreed. 

“Dr. Zineeri, that damn Denobulan,” John cringed, “he violated me in a way that no one ever has, in a way I never thought could happen to me.” 

“John, he raped you,” she began to cry in realizing what he was getting at. “You do not have to go into detail,” she wept as she leaned over and held him tightly. 

John wrapped his arms around her just as tightly and wept quietly into her shoulder. “I have been through much, but I never felt so degraded and emasculated as I did then. Even worse was the fact that my body betrayed me in its weakened state.” 

“I will help you through this, my love,” Catherine wiped away his tears. “We’ll take things as slowly as you need.” 

“I have no fear of your touch,” he managed to smile. “Your touch, the touch of an angel, always heals me.” 

“But as I’m always so eager, as you would say, please do not be afraid to tell me to stop if you’re not ready.” 

“Our child!” John suddenly exclaimed recalling the horrible day he witnessed Catherine strapped to the operating table. “Catherine, is our child healthy and unharmed?” he held his breath awaiting her answer. 

“She’s perfectly healthy,” Catherine smiled gently rubbing her abdomen causing him to sigh in relief.

 “She? I thought you wanted it to be a surprise.” 

“I did. Marta let it slip,” she frowned at the memory of her once captor. “Dr. McCoy confirmed it at my request. Besides, after all of this, I just didn’t feel right constantly saying ‘the baby’ or ‘the child.’ At least ‘she’ feels a little more personal, connected,” she smiled. “I hope you’re not disappointed.” 

“Not at all,” John beamed. “I have the perfect name for her when she arrives.” 

“I can’t wait to learn what you have in mind.” 

“I can’t wait to meet her and finally hold her in my arms. You’ve had her all to yourself for all this time,” he feigned pouting. 

“John?” 

“Hmm?” 

“While we were in that cave, I was thinking. I didn’t have a chance to ask you then.” 

“What would you like to ask?” 

“John, when this is all settled and over, will you marry me?” 

“But we’re already married,” he arched a brow in bafflement. 

“I know, but this time it will be with a proper ceremony surrounded by our friends, and hopefully, all of our loved ones past and present.” 

“Of course I’ll marry you. Perhaps we can even have proper rings this time,” John cupped her cheek. “I love you, Catherine Harrison.” 

“I love you, too, John Harrison,” she leaned in and passionately kissed him knowing that at least this time she would not make him deathly ill.


	37. The Fate of Our Brave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for brief mentions of non-con, smut
> 
> Listening track selections: “Atonement” and “Losing It All” by Anberlin

_John grimaced in discomfort as Dr. Zineeri stood behind him and once again shoved the inadequately lubricated vibrating rod into his rectum against his will. Across from him almost close enough for them to crane their necks and kiss if they so desired, Catherine, heavily pregnant, was standing nude with her arms bound and hanging by a chain above her head. Having secured the vibrating rod in place inside John, Dr. Zineeri walked up behind Catherine, and after unzipping his trousers, pressed his arousal inside of her causing her to yelp with his sudden invasion. John clenched his jaw and closed his eyes in shame as he found his own member hardening, the vibrations continuing to massage away at his prostate. He could hear Catherine panting, but whether it was in pain or pleasure, he could not determine nor did he wish to know._

_Unable to hold back any longer, John hissed as he found his release, his seed spurting freely from his erection. Opening his eyes, he was met with Catherine’s frightened gaze, tears streaming down her cheeks as Dr. Zineeri continued his frenzied thrusts. Feeling utterly ashamed in his body’s reaction, John felt a hot tear roll down his cheek as he whispered quietly to her, “I’m so sorry, Imzadi. Please forgive me. I have failed you.”_

“John! Wake up!” Catherine gently shook his upper arm before patting his cheeks. “You’re having a nightmare, darling.” 

“No!” he sat up quickly, nearly head butting her by accident, and gasped as pain tore through his chest. “Ah!” he moaned to himself as he clutched at his torso where Dr. Zineeri had shot him barely a week earlier. 

“Careful or you’ll reopen your wounds,” she scolded him as he struggled not to cry out loudly in pain. Sensing he was holding back to the best of his ability, she bit her bottom lip in worry and embraced him gently rubbing his back as he breathed heavily trying to ease the pain. 

“I’m alright,” John finally sighed and shuddered recalling his dream as he wrapped his arms tightly around her. “How long, Catherine? Exactly how long were we in captivity?” 

“It’s hard for me to comprehend, but they have told me that we were gone for two and a half weeks. I thought it was only about a week. I suppose it is easy to get disoriented to time, though, when you have no idea when it is day or night.” 

“Two and a half weeks of our lives lost that we can never get back,” he frowned. 

“Do you want to talk about it? Your nightmare?” she nuzzled into his neck. 

“No, I would rather not discuss it right now,” he ran his fingers through her short hair before releasing her from his embrace. “I know it upset you quite a bit, but your hair is still lovely even though it is short,” the corner of his mouth lifted in a small smile. 

“Oh, thank you,” she tucked a few strands behind her ear. “Besides, it’ll grow back again. Anyways, how are you feeling? Want to try some real breakfast today? I know you’re getting tired of those protein shakes.” 

“As you can see, I am still quite sore, but despite the pain, I am starting to get stir crazy. While I understand that I need to let my body heal and work on regaining my strength, I’m quickly growing tired of being in this bed. I suppose, then, I should try to eat something,” he reasoned aloud. 

“I’ll go ahead and get something from the replicator for you. If you tolerate your meals today without any trouble, I’ll ask my mother to bring in some real homemade food for you tomorrow.” 

“That would be wonderful,” John smiled as he gingerly lay back onto the bed then raised the head of it so that he could sit and eat more comfortably and have adequate support of his trunk. 

“I also think that it’s high time we get you a decent and thorough bath and wash your hair. We were both utterly filthy when they found us. Bed baths usually are adequate for your run-of-the-mill patients, but for you they’re just not cutting it. Besides, it should feel good and help to ease your pain. I might even massage your back for you,” she winked as she walked away to figure out what to get for his breakfast. 

“How is my VIP patient this morning?” Dr. McCoy walked up to the biobed and began scanning John. 

“Eager to get out of bed,” John grunted, “but doing my best to put up with my current physical limitations.” 

“Well, now that your immune system is on the mend, you should start to feel stronger each day. Before we know it, you’ll be back to your usual form, but until then, I will not be having you reopening your wounds and bleeding out while under my care,” the physician warned him. “Oh, almost forgot,” he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small bottle handing it to John. “It’s the bullet I got out of you. Thought you might want it.” 

“Dr. McCoy, how close of a call was it?” John asked as he opened the bottle and held up the bullet to examine it. 

“I truly think that if we found you only a few minutes later, it might have been too late. You had massive internal bleeding. If you had not been shot, you probably would have made it only a few more days as you were on the verge of sepsis. Our cohort raided Dr. Zineeri’s lab, and our biochemists are studying the substances that he was using on you. I can never condone his actions, but I must admit that the man was probably a genius. I have never seen anything like it. He was using nanoprobes to attack your immune system cells. The technology he was using is more advanced than anything Starfleet scientists have yet been able to achieve.” 

“Nanoprobes?” 

“Yes, microscopic machines that can be suspended in a subject’s bloodstream and attach to specified cells. Theoretically, they could be used to repair and protect the body’s cells from various diseases and microorganisms or even rewrite the DNA of the cells to which they are attached. In your case, he was using them to disable your immune cells. From what we can tell, if he continued to use the nanoprobes in high doses, it would have eventually killed you. He probably only intended to give you a large loading dose and then small doses at regular intervals to keep you under his control. Theoretically, he could also have used it to make you vulnerable enough to infect you with other organisms, stop administering it, and then see how your immune system would recover in order to better understand how it works.” 

“I see,” John put the bullet away back into its bottle. “Are these nanoprobes still present within my body?” 

“Yes, they are, but I was able to disable them with low doses of radiation. One of my predecessors, Dr. Phlox, mentioned something in a different context about nanoprobes and radiation once, so I figured that I would give it a try.” Dr. McCoy paused and looked up nervously to see whether Catherine was on her way back to John’s side just yet before quietly explaining, “When I knew that you were stable enough to do so, I had to perform a full forensic examination on you as part of the investigation into what happened to you both once you were kidnapped.” 

John went pale and replied, “You’re going to tell me that you found recent tearing to my anorectal anatomy suggesting rape or at least nonconsensual medical probing of some sort.” 

“You do not have to tell me what happened if you do not wish to do so, but I still will have to present my physical findings to the council,” Dr. McCoy frowned. “You can tell me how you wish for it to be stated, if you want. The council members will ultimately be respectful of your privacy.” 

Looking over to see Catherine still flipping through replicator cards, John swallowed hard before looking down at his hands that he had folded in his lap. “Present it in whatever way you feel will best play into the sympathies of the council members in the hopes of them being lenient with our sentencing,” he finally responded. 

“Very well,” the doctor nodded before turning to leave. 

“Doctor,” John latched onto his arm, “I do not care about what happens to me. I was prepared to sacrifice my freedom or even die for Catherine if it came to it. You cannot imagine what it felt like for me having to stand by helplessly and watch them hurt her because of what I am. If they never found me adrift in space on the _Botany Bay_ , she would have been safe and never in harm’s way as Dr. Zineeri never would have needed a Betazoid to carry out his sick experiments. I do not want her to suffer because of me. They lured her to Section 31 under false intentions. She should not be punished for wanting to be by my side.” 

“We’re doing everything we can to influence the council in both of your favors. I think that if any of them had previous doubts about what happened to you during your time in Section 31, they will be changing their minds once they learn the sordid details of what you both just experienced.” 

“I hope this will appeal to what little appetite you have,” Catherine suddenly appeared at his bedside carrying a tray of food. Placing it on the bedside table, she wheeled it over in front of him. 

“Oatmeal with brown sugar will do just fine,” John managed a smile. “Full of nutrients, filling, and easy on the stomach in terms of digestion.” 

“I’m glad,” she grabbed his spoon and stirred the oatmeal. Scooping some up and blowing on it to ensure it was not too hot, she lifted it up to his mouth. 

Arching his brow, John opened his lips to protest and insist that he could do just fine without her help, but before he could get a word in otherwise, he found the spoon of oatmeal shoved into his mouth. 

“It isn’t too hot, is it?” she asked in genuine concern. 

Shaking his head “no,” John shot Dr. McCoy a look of annoyance as she worked on getting another spoonful ready for him. 

“Sorry, friend, being divorced, not my area to give advice,” Dr. McCoy held back a laugh and made a quick exit. 

John suffered through the rest of his breakfast in silence allowing Catherine to feed it to him knowing that she only did it out of concern for his health. Relieved when the meal was over, he quickly found himself forgiving her noting the weary look on her face and the way she held her hand to her lower back as he watched her gathering towels and other items so that he could get a bath. He had forgotten about her muscle spasms and how her back had recently started to ache almost constantly, and he wondered how much pain she might have withstood during their captivity and subsequent escape but did not utter a word about it either for his sake or because she forgot about it as she was simply too concerned about him. 

“Ready?” Catherine smiled upon returning from filling the bathtub in the adjacent room. 

“Of course,” John nodded and returned a smile. 

After patiently waiting for her to move his tray and disconnect him from the remaining medical devices that were still attached to him to monitor his condition, John then moved until his legs were dangling off the side of the bed. As he had been working with a physical therapist and had already stood and walked short distances around his biobed with a steady gait, Catherine and John had unspoken confidence that he would at least be strong enough to walk and get into the bathtub without any major incidents. Carefully sliding off the edge, he allowed her to wrap her arm around his waist to help him stabilize his balance. 

Successfully making it into the bathroom, Catherine quickly turned her attention to John as soon as the door closed behind them. Facing him, she reached behind his neck and then his lower back to untie his hospital gown before sliding it off of him. Taking in his nude form, she could not help but to inhale sharply as she felt heat pooling between her legs. Gently stroking his dirty hair out of his face, she could not help but to lean up and kiss him hungrily despite his filthy, foul smelling state. Although John returned her kiss with equal desire, she pulled away suddenly with no warning putting a hand over her mouth. 

“I’m sorry. I should have asked. It’s too soon for you, physically and mentally. I wasn’t thinking,” Catherine explained as she nervously dipped her hand in the water to make sure it was the right temperature. 

“Imzadi,” John rumbled lowly taking hold of her bicep and pulling her back against his nude body and kissing her deeply. “I trust you. Take care of me.” 

Understanding his order, Catherine helped him as he stepped into the tub and eased slowly down into the hot water with a sigh of contentment, the warmth soothing his aches and pains. _“The bruising is almost completely faded now,”_ she thought to herself as she once again stroked his hair out of the way and examined his face in the bright light of the small en-suite bathroom. The swelling around his right eye had subsided days prior to this. _“Despite everything, his immune system seems to be almost back to normal, and even now with it still weak, his body heals so quickly.”_

Catherine started by wetting his dark, thick hair and lathering it with shampoo. As she massaged his scalp, John occasionally let out quiet moans taking pleasure in her ministrations. She grinned to herself noting his flaccid penis starting to become erect under the water. Once finished washing his hair, she turned to washing his body. Working on his chest, she gently washed around his healing gunshot and gastrostomy tube wounds. Although closed over with newly grown skin, they were not only tender but also very vulnerable to reopening if they were to be insulted with fresh trauma. 

“Such horrible weapons we used to have during your time,” Catherine remarked quietly thinking of the revolver wielded by Dr. Zineeri. “I would take a phaser burn over this any day.” 

“I will most certainly have a permanent scar from this, but shh, no more speaking of such things,” John lifted a wet finger and placed it over her lips. 

“Yes, Khan,” she beamed and returned to her task. 

By the time Catherine was finished washing his body, John’s penis was fully erect and lay proudly against his abdomen. Looking to John and getting his nod of approval, Catherine took his member into her hand and began pleasuring him. Enjoying her touch, John pulled her to him, albeit a bit awkwardly given them being separated by the bathtub, and began kissing her with fervor moaning into her mouth. 

The sound of splashing water serving as a cover, John growled with satisfaction into her ear as he came, “Catherine!” 

After allowing him a moment to bask in the afterglow of the hand job she just gave him, Catherine kissed the tip of his nose and asked, “Was that good for you?” 

“It was excellent, better than a massage. I owe you for that,” he smiled and gave her an Eskimo kiss rubbing the tip of her nose with his own. 

“No, that’s making up for that night you pleasured me during our trial,” she began kissing his jaw. 

“There you two are!” Kestra suddenly burst through the door. “I was wondering what you two were up to when I discovered that John wasn’t in bed.” 

“Mother!” Catherine scrambled and grabbed a towel throwing it over John’s lap. “Have you no respect for his privacy?” 

“Oh, it’s not like I’ve never seen a penis before, little one,” the Betazoid woman laughed. “I brought John some comfortable clothes, although I regret that I will never get the opportunity to see that cute bottom of his peeking out of that hospital gown,” she pouted and plopped a bag down beside the bathtub. “Little one, you clearly have your hands full with him at the moment, but if you need any help, I’ll be right out there waiting,” she winked and left. 

“I’m so sorry, John. I’m so embarrassed,” Catherine held a hand to her forehead. 

“It’s a good thing you got to me first, or I think she would be after me,” John snickered. “I have to wonder if I had women pursuing me before this but never noticed. I was clearly oblivious to Carol Marcus’ advances. Then again,” he paused a moment thinking, “is your mother on the hunt?” 

“No,” she laughed, “she’s always been like this. She’s a Betazoid woman that really likes males of just about any species, and she is not afraid to verbalize appreciation of what she finds attractive. She considers you to be a fine specimen of a man, but you will always be like a son to her. That just means that her remarks will be even more embarrassing. Oh well, it’s her way of showing her love, I guess. And yes, you probably did have legions of women throwing themselves at you, but you were just distracted with your duties as Khan.” 

“I thought your friend Marla was bad. She might be attracted to me, but that Orion woman Marta downright lusted after me,” he shook his head. “Thank you for appreciating me as a whole and not just my body.” 

“Well, I don’t know. You are quite sexy even when you’re not trying.” 

“Oh, stop,” he grinned. 

“Come on,” Catherine stood up and gathered a large towel in her hands, “let’s get you out of that water before you get a chill.” 

 As Catherine worked to dry off John’s skin, he stopped her suddenly holding up his hand. “Did they touch you? Dr. Zineeri or the others, did they violate you?” 

“He touched me sexually once and only once. Molested, yes, but penetrated, no,” she replied looking down at the towel in her hands. 

“What happened?” 

“He didn’t get any further. I spat in his face.” 

“Good girl,” he beamed in pride as he tilted her chin so she would look him in the eye. “I find that oddly arousing,” he laughed. 

“And you always say I’m the insatiable one. Let’s get you dressed before my mother barges in here again and finds us in an even more compromising situation,” she suggested. 

“Catherine, despite what Dr. Zineeri did to me, you do not need to be concerned about pushing any boundaries. I trust you completely, and I am eager to make love to you properly as soon as possible,” he cupped her cheeks and kissed her lovingly. 

“Oh, John,” she blushed taking one of his hands and kissing it before she continued to dry his skin. “Do you forgive me? I upset you earlier feeding you breakfast like that in front of Dr. McCoy. I can let you feed yourself now.” 

“You’re just doing what comes naturally to you, taking care of the sick and injured. I do not hold it against you. Are you okay?” he asked as she hissed and put a hand to her lower back briefly. 

“My back has been killing me, and I’m so tired,” she started to sniffle as she helped him to pull up the black, silk pajama pants Kestra had brought for him. “I have not been sleeping well.” 

“Nightmares?” 

“Yes, besides my back almost constantly aching, I’ve been having nightmares pretty much on a nightly basis. There’s always so much blood, John.” 

“Have you spoken with Dr. McCoy about this?” he shrugged on the matching pajama top and began buttoning it. “He can surely give you something to help ease your pain and to also help you sleep.” 

“I keep forgetting to ask him. I’ve been so worried about you,” she wiped her tears off her cheeks. 

“Imzadi, you must look after yourself as much as you do for me. You know that. Besides, I am no longer in danger and quite on the mend now. Perhaps, though, it is the unseen wounds which run deeper and are more difficult to heal,” he pulled her into an embrace and gently rubbed her aching back. “I could not see at the time, but I’d imagine Marta’s and Dr. Zineeri’s deaths were quite gruesome. I’m sorry that I could not spare you from taking such actions as I am more accustomed to taking the lives of others in the heat of battle.” 

“I did what I had to do,” Catherine rested her head on his chest whilst trying to be mindful of his wounds. 

“And I owe you my very life for it. You saved all three of us.” 

“Hardly, it’s my fault you were shot in the first place. You almost died because I lost my patience. I could have confronted him differently.” 

“Catherine, you know full well that I would rather have died than go back to that lab or have to see you get hurt further. Now, enough of this kind of thinking. Let’s get Dr. McCoy to take a look at your back, okay?” 

“Okay,” she nodded and held onto his arm to help him exit the bathroom. 

“Feeling better, little ones? Oh, here, let me help,” Kestra smiled as she quickly came to Catherine and John’s aid and helped him back onto his biobed. “How are your pajamas?” 

“Very comfortable, thank you, mum,” John nodded. 

“I brought you both something to brighten the room and your spirits,” Kestra went across the room and picked up a potted plant, brought it back to John’s bedside, and handed it to him. “Once the official investigation was completed, Dylan and I were given permission to go to both of your quarters in London. I found this in John’s flat.” 

“The flowers from Betazed. It was a gift from Catherine,” John reminisced looking at her with tenderness in his voice. 

“Although it is usually a rather hardy plant, it was just about dead when we found it, but look at it now! It is thriving,” Kestra looked delighted. 

“Perhaps it is symbolic?” Catherine thought aloud. 

“There is always a chance, little one. Do not give up on hope just yet,” Kestra kissed them each on the cheek. “Now, is there anything that I can do for either of you?” 

“Could you find Dr. McCoy and ask him to come and see Catherine? Her back is causing her much pain. It is disrupting her sleep,” John explained as he rubbed her lower back further. 

“Oh, sweetheart, of course I can do that,” Kestra left to find Dr. McCoy. 

“You didn’t mention the nightmares to her,” Catherine worked on reattaching the monitors to his skin. 

“No need to as I believe in her heart she already knows,” John explained. 

“Then I won’t mention yours either unless you wish for it,” she bargained with him. _“Please, just do not hold in your feelings. You know it worries me when you do that, Imzadi.”_

_“I’ll do my best if it pleases you,”_ he agreed. 

A couple of days later, John’s condition had so greatly improved much to everyone’s, including his own, surprise that Dr. McCoy was comfortable with discharging him back to their room in the secure complex where they had been residing in San Francisco since their arrest and extradition from the _Enterprise_. Upon examining Catherine’s back more carefully, Dr. McCoy discovered and treated an injured nerve that was ultimately responsible for her back spasms. In fear of overmedicating her, he was hesitant in giving her a sedative to help her to sleep much to John’s frustration. 

“Dr. McCoy, she is exhausted and her nerves are shot! She cannot keep up like this much longer. Please, can you not give her even a low dose just to give her one night’s decent rest?” John protested in the hallway outside their room. 

“No, I will not put her or the baby at risk. I want you to attempt conservative measures first. Your lives have been so disrupted that it is important to try to restore proper sleep hygiene. Try going to bed and arising at the same times every day. Help her to relax prior to bed. Avoid caffeinated beverages. Limit napping. Look, I know that it is difficult on you to watch, but eventually she will simply tire herself out,” Dr. McCoy explained. 

“When can we begin our counseling sessions? Physically she came out much better than I did, but psychologically, I feel that she took the brunt of it,” John sighed. 

“Within the next couple of days if you are both feeling up to it, you can start. I’ll contact my colleague Dr. Helen Noel to see if she is available to begin sessions with you.” 

“But you’re an accomplished practitioner in psychology, doctor. You will not be presiding over our psychological rehabilitation?” John asked somewhat disappointed. Although he would not readily admit it, John had taken some degree of comfort in Dr. McCoy’s uninterrupted care and presence in their lives. Besides his Southern charm, Dr. McCoy also had gumption, a trait that John greatly admired. 

“While I appreciate your confidence in my abilities, I honestly do not feel that I am the best to handle matters of the heart,” Dr. McCoy frowned. 

“Ah, you mentioned that you are divorced. It was not an amicable split?” 

“No, not at all. My ex-wife took everything from me including my little girl Joanna. I’m a horrible father. I haven’t even fought for the opportunity to see her. Maybe I should change that,” he reasoned. 

“We only live one life, Dr. McCoy, and our children are our legacy. You should try to see her before it’s too late,” John encouraged him. 

“You’re right. I think that I will do that once things are stable enough around here for me to pop over to Atlanta for a few days.” 

That evening, John insisted that Catherine be in bed early. Just as Dr. McCoy suggested, John set about doing everything he could think of in order to help her to relax, but ultimately, his actions only frustrated her to the point of tears. Completely exhausted and disheartened with her inability to sleep restfully, Catherine burst down and sobbed bitterly. Not knowing what to do, John sat beside her on the bed resting his back on the headboard and had her curl into a ball next to him so he could stroke her hair comfortingly. Her sobs gradually lessened to sniffles until she went completely quiet. “Imzadi?” John whispered only to be greeted by a snore. _“Dr. McCoy was right. She’s exhausted herself. I only hope that she can sleep peacefully through the night.”_  

As it was still a bit too early even in his weakened state for him to go to sleep, John carefully scooted off the bed, changed into his pajama pants sans shirt, and settled down with a cup of Darjeeling and his PADD to read. Only an hour later, he heard Catherine whimpering in her sleep. Pausing a moment to see if she continued, John got up and sat beside her gently stroking her arm as she lay curled up with her back facing him as she continued to whimper and make pained facial expressions. 

“It’s alright, Imzadi,” John quietly whispered to her hoping to provide her with consolation. “I’m here, and we’re safe. Do not be afraid. I will protect you.” 

To his relief, her whimpers subsided and she continued breathing quietly with the occasional snore. Despite her now peaceful state, unable to contain himself any longer with everything that had recently happened to them, John began to weep with his head in his hands. Amidst his quiet sobs, he could not hear the quiet ringing of their door chime multiple times before the door finally opened. 

Due to neither of them answering the door, Kestra had the guards open the door out of fear that something was wrong. Her heart sank seeing John weeping over Catherine’s sleeping form. She quietly made her way to their side. “Little warrior, why are you weeping?” Kestra whispered as she rested a hand on John’s bare shoulder. 

“I weep for my Catherine, my beloved wife. I grieve for the loss of her innocence,” John looked up at her with reddened eyes and tear-stained cheeks. 

“Come with me,” she motioned for John to join her at the table. “Why such sorrow, John?” she took his hands. 

“Catherine, she’s always been so beautiful, so gentle. She was so innocent when I met her, and now she is ruined because of me. Before me, she never would have harmed anyone, and now she has blood on her hands. She had to commit brutal murder for me. She would have been better off if she had left me when she had the chance or, better yet, never met me,” he explained as he wiped the tears from his cheeks. 

“My little one may have been innocent when she met you, John, but she was not ignorant. Despite what you think, she had already seen and experienced her share of horrors in her lifetime. Now that you know of the death of our family members on Sherman’s Planet, it only makes sense for you to know that she insisted on helping with their autopsies,” Kestra explained. “It deeply effected her for weeks, but she bounced back and carried on just fine.” 

“Do you think that she will be able to recover from this?” 

“Yes, with time and your love and support, I think that she will be just fine.” 

“I wish none of this ever happened to her.” 

“John Noonien Singh Harrison, I will hear no more of this sulking!” Kestra quietly scolded him lest she wake her daughter. “Catherine chose you just as much as you chose her! When she became bound to you, when you became her Imzadi, she knew the risk that she was taking. Such a decision is not taken lightly by Betazoids. Oh yes, certainly at any point in all of this, she could have left you and avoided the terror she has lived through, but don’t you get it? It would have been the death of her! You are a part of her heart now. In the end, little warrior, she chose this, chose you, knowing that anything could happen.” 

“No! No, she did not choose to be battered, molested, or tortured! She did not choose to have to take the lives of others lest she lose her own!” 

“John, she chose you willingly, and thus, whether you like it or not, she chose all that comes with you, the good and the bad,” Kestra shook her head. “If you are so upset at what has happened to her because of what you deem to be your fault, then do everything you can to not fail her.” 

“At this point, what can I possibly do? I have not felt so foolish and helpless since I was a child!” he admitted slamming a fist onto the table. 

“Humble yourself if need be, but let her look after you hand and foot. She worries about you constantly. She carries the weight of her own guilt upon her shoulders for your near death.” 

“It’s why she’s been hovering at my side even more than usual,” he noted. 

“Knowing that you are well and recovering physically will help her recover psychologically. Be patient with her, and let her serve your every need if that is what it takes. Do you think you can do that?” Kestra smiled. 

“Yes, I’d do anything for her.” 

“I knew that I could count on you. Now give me a hug,” she stood up and opened her arms. Standing up, John obeyed and wrapped his arms around his mother-in-law. “I don’t know what I would have done if I had lost either of you. I think that it would have broken my heart into a million pieces,” she started to cry as John patted her back. “But I got both of you back, and now I have a granddaughter on the way as well. Hold on to hope, John, if not for yourself and Catherine, then at least do it for your daughter. Where there is life there is always hope. While I do not know the decision of the Federation Council in regards to your verdict, do know that I have sensed that recent events have deeply affected them.” 

“I am prepared to make whatever atonement they require of me, but I have always said that for Catherine’s sake, I desire for them to show us mercy,” he furrowed his brow. 

“Do not give up just yet,” Kestra gently stroked his cheek. “Well, it is getting late, and you need your rest. Goodnight, little warrior,” she leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. “I will pray to the Four Deities that you both sleep well tonight. Try to think good thoughts so Catherine can sense them.” 

“Goodnight, mum,” John also kissed her on the cheek before she let herself out. 

Feeling fatigued from such a strong expression of emotion, John crawled into bed next to Catherine and carefully pulled up a blanket that was folded at the end of the bed over top of them both. Pressing a kiss to her forehead, he got comfortable and quickly fell asleep. Aside from the brief time that Catherine had whimpered in her sleep, for the first time since their rescue, John and Catherine slept soundly and neither was awakened by their nightmares. 

At John’s request, Dr. McCoy succeeded in contacting his colleague Dr. Helen Noel who subsequently initiated counseling sessions with the couple. Despite his readiness to attend said sessions, John did not have a lot to say much to Catherine’s dismay. 

“John, can Dr. Noel and I have a moment?” Catherine asked at the end of one of their sessions. “I have something that I’d like to discuss with her alone if you don’t mind.” 

“Of course,” John replied before exiting the office and waiting outside the door with their security escort. 

“What would you like to talk about, Catherine?” Dr. Noel folded her hands on her desk. 

“It’s John,” she sighed. “I can sense that he’s holding back and not expressing his emotions. I hate it when he does this. He bottles it up inside of him, and we’ve discussed before the importance of not doing that. I believe that what we just went through, our captivity, was so much more pervasive than what we experienced under Admiral Marcus. John’s even said that he’s never felt so helpless, so emasculated in his entire life. I fear what may occur if he does not unload his feelings about what happened. Being an Augment, his feelings are much deeper and stronger than a normal human’s. After all we’ve been through, I would not want to lose him to self-destruction.” 

“I certainly understand your concern especially if he’s had a difficult time before in regards to expressing his negative emotions. It appears that his primary coping mechanism is withdrawing himself. I know that this is probably not what you want to hear, but I think we need to give him some time. I think that he’ll open up when he’s ready. Tell you what, we’ll work during our sessions using a different method which I think will help gently coax him into opening up and talking about his feelings,” Dr. Noel suggested. 

“It’s worth a try. I know him, though, and I may end up having to take some drastic measures to prod him along. Well, see you at our next session,” Catherine took her leave. 

With slight unspoken tension between them, Catherine and John walked quietly back to their quarters with their security entourage. Although curious to know what Catherine had discussed with Dr. Noel, John refrained from asking and occasionally stole a glimpse at her out of the corner of his eye. Upon entering their quarters, they were greeted by Kestra who asked anxiously, “Did you hear the news?” 

“What news?” Catherine asked in return. 

“The preliminary investigation into your kidnapping and captivity was completed and the findings presented to the Federation Council. They were already deliberating your case since your disappearance, and the information they just received in regards to your kidnapping seemed to help them to quickly come to a decision,” she stopped and hesitated for a moment. “They have reached a verdict for both of you. They are going to report their verdicts and hand down your sentences tomorrow.” Catherine blanched prompting John to wrap his arms around her, and Kestra joined the couple showering them with kisses and hugs to try to give them comfort and reassurance. 

The day when the Harrisons were to learn their fate finally arrived. Kestra once again provided the couple with clothing so that they could look presentable and professional when appearing before the Federation Council. While they awaited their summons in the holding area, Catherine straightened the collar of John’s new sherwani, his prior one having been lost during their captivity. 

“Are you alright?” John asked reaching up and taking hold of her hands. “You’re trembling,” he frowned noticing her hands shaking. 

“I’m understandably nervous, but I know that I can face this with you by my side.” 

“As can I,” he nodded. “Just remember, I am not immortal and might not always be with you. You no doubt learned recently that I am not indestructible. I would never within my right mind leave you again willingly, but there may come a day when I do not have that choice.” 

“I understand. I would rather not think about it, but I know that you can die. After all, you almost died right underneath my hands. Your lips were so blue, and your skin was so ashen gray. I really did almost lose you.” 

“I’m sorry if it appears that I gave up fighting to live.” 

“You were so ill and then with all the blood that you lost, how could I have expected you to stay conscious? You didn’t give up, but I was and am still a little concerned that you seem to have no hope left within your heart for yourself. Lately, your eyes are full of sadness just as they were when we first met. John, my darling,” she cupped his cheek stroking it with the pad of her thumb, “whatever our destiny, always remember that I love you and that I am proud of you. In spite of all the horrible things that have happened to us, you are still the best thing to happen to me. There was a time when I struggled with confidence in myself. Now it is my turn to believe in you.” 

“Imzadi,” he leaned into her touch closing his eyes trying to prevent himself from breaking down into tears. 

“I’m ready,” she pecked him on the lips and wrapped her arms around him pulling him into an embrace. “I just hope that they come and fetch us before I lose my nerve,” she managed to giggle at herself causing John to relax slightly much to her relief. 

As Catherine had hoped, they were summoned soon afterwards to the council chamber. Walking hand-in-hand, Catherine and John made their way inside and stood in the middle of the room to face the podium. 

After calling the session into order and providing opening remarks, President Mintaine began: “As noted in prior proceedings, Lieutenant Catherine Harrison, for you the charges and specifications are conspiracy, espionage, insubordination, murder of a Starfleet officer, firing upon Starfleet officers, sabotage, falsifying records, smuggling, treason, trespassing, and theft. And you plead?” 

“Not guilty, sir,” Catherine replied quietly. 

“So entered. Due to past and recent mitigating circumstances, all charges but one, murder of a Starfleet officer, are summarily dismissed. Of that charge, lieutenant, we find you guilty.” 

Noting the blood draining from Catherine’s face, feeling her grip on his hand weaken, and feeling her skin became cool and clammy, John quickly wrapped his arm around her to provide her support in the event that she were to faint. 

“Commander John Harrison, also known by the alias of Khan Noonien Singh,” President Mintaine continued, “the charges and specifications for you are acts of terrorism against Starfleet resulting in the deaths of numerous Federation citizens and Starfleet personnel and the murder of Admiral Alexander Marcus. And you plead?” 

“Not guilty,” John replied. 

“So entered. Of these charges, we find you guilty.” 

“No,” Catherine gasped quietly to herself struggling to hold back tears. 

John remained stoic as he held her tighter. “How do you intend to punish us?” he asked calmly. 

“In due time, commander. We want you to understand why we have given you both a guilty verdict. While we understand that given your situation you felt that you needed to take the lives of those you did, and some of them no doubt did deserve to be punished for their crimes against you and humanity, we the Federation Council believe that life is precious. Murder is morally wrong, and in this situation, the end did not justify the means. We believe that there were other actions that could have been taken to expose the crimes being committed against you both and the Augments being held hostage unawares while in cryostasis. Lieutenant Harrison, you willingly surrendered yourself and cooperated with us fully under the condition that we would incarcerate, try, and punish you equally. We are going to uphold your request in regards to your sentencing. Councilor T’Lar, do you have the council’s decision?” the president asked a Vulcan woman seated nearby. 

“Yes, President Mintaine,” she replied as she stood up and handed him the PADD she was holding. 

He began to read: “It is hereby deemed by the Council of the United Federation of Planets that Lieutenant Catherine Harrison and Commander John Harrison are sentenced to be incarcerated together in the Federation penal colony on Tantalus V for rehabilitation for no less than ten years.” 

“I object!” Captain Kirk who had been permitted to attend the final proceedings shouted from the stands as Catherine began to sob with her hands covering her face knowing that Tantalus V was used for the most criminally insane offenders and that they would surely be in danger while there. John felt as if he were frozen in place and emotionally numb. 

“Order!” President Mintaine shouted. “Another outburst like that, Captain Kirk, and I will have you ejected!” 

“Sir, please!” the young captain pleaded as Spock’s father Ambassador Sarek tried to make him sit down. 

“You need to let me finish! Commander Harrison, we are actually prepared to offer you alternative punitive action if you wish to hear the terms.” 

“I will hear them,” John managed to speak. 

“We believe that you both show great promise. You are both intelligent, resilient beyond what the average person could ever withstand both physically and mentally, and despite your guilt in the taking of the lives of others, you do hold high moral standards and seem to believe in the very foundations on which the United Federation of Planets was built. We feel that it would be a waste of talent to lock away two highly qualified Starfleet officer candidates. We are willing to wave your incarceration on several conditions.” 

“And they are?” 

“First, your wife will be demoted to lieutenant junior grade and yourself to lieutenant commander. Second, you will receive an adequate, proper education at Starfleet Academy. I have no doubt you will do well and quickly succeed in graduating given how quickly you adapted to our time and technology. You may even have something to teach our professors while there. Third, you will both continue to undergo rehabilitation for the traumas you have experienced at the hands of Admiral Marcus, Section 31, and Dr. Zineeri. Upon successful completion of these tasks, you will both be assigned to serve a five-year mission aboard the flagship of the fleet…“ 

_“Wait a minute!”_ Captain Kirk thought to himself with slight panic. 

“… the USS _Enterprise_ …“ 

_“Shit!”_ Kirk put a hand to his head. 

“… under the command of Captain James T. Kirk,” the president finally finished. 

_“Fuck!”_ John thought to himself equally as disgusted as Kirk. Calming and clearing his thoughts, he began to ask, “What of our family, my people? Are they to be imprisoned in cryostasis forever? Will my decision determine what happens to them as well?” 

“We believe that the time for prejudice shown against human Augments should come to an end. Genetic engineering will remain banned, but those born of past projects should not be treated as criminals for something they had no ability to control, their very genetic structure. Augments should have the same freedom to pursue self-determination and have protected rights as all other members of the Federation. We will, however, proceed with caution given the overly ambitious actions of your people in Earth’s past. With this in mind, at a pre-determined time depending upon which punishment you select, we will allow you to awaken your sister, your nephew, and up to four other companions. If they successfully adapt to life in our century, we will allow you to gradually continue awakening your people in successive phases until they are all released from cryostasis. It is our hope that during the _Enterprise’s_ mission an uninhabited planet suitable for human life will be found for you and your people to call your own, a chance for a new start.” 

“Will my daughter receive the same political immunity? You will not keep her as some sort of new scientific curiosity given her mixed Augment-Betazoid heritage?” John gently placed his hand on Catherine’s belly. Catherine was still sobbing being so utterly distraught after hearing of their impending imprisonment that she had yet to hear or realize that they were being given another option. 

“Your daughter will come to no harm and will not be subjected to any studies without your knowledge or consent just as any other child who is a citizen of the United Federation of Planets. If you choose imprisonment, she will be removed upon birth and be placed in the custody of Dylan and Kestra Troi until your probation is granted. If you choose to serve, she will remain ever at your side and under your care as we are granting families permission to partake in the exploratory mission. Do you have any further questions?” 

“No,” John shook his head. 

“Then what is your decision?” 

“May I have a moment?” 

“Yes, but we need your decision quickly, commander.” 

John put a hand over his eyes struggling to concentrate as his mind raced. _“Either way I’ll be enslaved, always enslaved, and never free. I will always be just a puppet to do humanity’s bidding. Captain Kirk, that bastard, I’d rather be in prison than be subject to his command,”_ he thought and felt nauseated. Being brought back to reality by suddenly feeling Catherine’s body tremble and hearing her cries, John reached deep down within himself and made his decision. Putting his hand down from his face, standing up straight and proud, John spoke loudly and with resolve, “I will serve.” 

“Are you certain?” 

“For the sake of those I hold most dear, yes, I will serve,” John replied before kissing Catherine gently on the temple. “It’s going to be alright, Imzadi,” he whispered to her. “I’m going to take care of everything.” 

“Very well, then,” President Mintaine smiled gently. “In conclusion, while words alone can never make up for what you experienced or heal your wounds and scars, we sincerely apologize for what you experienced at the hands of Admiral Marcus and especially Dr. Zineeri. We were deeply grieved upon learning what Dr. Zineeri had done to you and intended to do in the future. While we are giving you both a second chance, we hope that you can somehow find it within your hearts to forgive us and to give us a second chance as well. We have learned that evil still resides within our midst, and we need to remain vigilant lest it take hold and snuff out all in which we believe and seek to uphold. We will continue to investigate the crimes of Section 31, Admiral Marcus, and Dr. Zineeri and all those that carried out their orders, and we promise to provide you with any recompense that we deem to be appropriate. You have alerted us to our own short-sightedness, and for that we are forever in your debt.” He then proceeded through the necessary formalities to officially hand down their sentencing and brought the trial to a close. 

By this time, Catherine had stopped sobbing but was still so upset and had shut herself down almost to the point of catatonia that she had yet to realize that she and John were truly not going to Tantalus V. John stood in front of her and pried her hands off of her face finding her cheeks stained with mascara and tears and her eyes red and swollen from crying. Using his thumbs to gently wipe off her cheeks, John leaned low enough so that he was eye-level with her.  

“Imzadi,” John spoke quietly trying to pull her back to him and reality. “We’re not going to Tantalus V. Didn’t you hear? They gave me a choice. They showed us mercy. Surely if it weren’t for your faithfulness to me, they would not have done so otherwise. Darling, please snap out of it,” he took her shoulders and shook her lightly. 

“What happened?” Catherine furrowed her brow. “I didn’t hear anything after I heard that we were going to the Tantalus penal colony.” John briefly explained their alternate sentence, the sentence he had chosen for them. “John,” she leapt and wrapped her arms around his neck squeezing him tightly forgetting about the fact that he was still a bit sore from his injuries. “Thank you,” she whispered in his ear before kissing his neck. 

“Catherine?” John groaned his chest in pain. 

“Oh no! Sorry,” she quickly let go of his neck. Reaching up, she gently massaged his neck in the spot used for plexing to help alleviate his discomfort. “Better?” 

“Yes,” he managed to crack a smile. 

“Pardon me for interrupting,” a Vulcan male suddenly approached them, “but I must speak with you both. I believe that you have met my son, Commander Spock. I am Ambassador Sarek.” 

“Your son has played an important role in securing our freedom,” Catherine noted. “What do you wish to speak about?” 

“My superior requests a meeting with both of you this evening,” Sarek explained. 

“Ambassador, my wife has had a difficult day, and we are both quite fatigued. Can it not wait until tomorrow?” John asked. 

“I’m afraid that it cannot. It is urgent in that the ambassador must return to New Vulcan tomorrow.” 

“I’ll be alright, John,” she took his hand. “When and where are we to meet?” 

“I will arrange for a Vulcan escort to meet you at your current quarters at 1900,” Sarek replied. 

The rest of the day was consumed with completing various formalities in regards to the end of their trial. By the time the Harrisons arrived at their quarters, they had only an hour remaining to eat and refresh themselves for their meeting with the Vulcan ambassador. At exactly 1900, the Vulcan escort was waiting at their door to transport them to the Vulcan embassy. 

After being brought into an office and provided with refreshments, an elderly Vulcan dressed in a long, hooded cloak entered and sat at the desk across from Catherine and John. He briefly steepled his hands under his chin deep in thought before finally speaking. 

“I am such an old, foolish Vulcan,” the cloaked ambassador scolded himself as a tear rolled down his cheek. “Is it possible that I have grown so old and so inflexible that I have outlived my usefulness?” he seemed to ask himself. 

“Sir?” Catherine arched her brow. 

“Forgive me, Mrs. Harrison. I should introduce myself,” he pulled down his hood. “My name is Spock.” 

“Surely not?” John nearly choked. 

“Surely yes,” Spock nodded calmly. “And you are Khan Noonien Singh, the most dangerous adversary the _Enterprise_ ever faced. You are brilliant, ruthless, and you will not hesitate to kill every one who stands in your way. And I was never so wrong. I should never have let my past cloud my judgment.” 

“We’ve encountered each other before?” 

“In the original version of our timeline, I was part of the crew of the _Enterprise_ that discovered you and your people adrift on the _Botany Bay_. Things turned out very differently, then again, you were a different man,” Spock looked briefly at Catherine who was gazing lovingly at John. “Would you permit me to perform a mind meld on you? I have always wanted to better understand the man I have known previously only as a worthy adversary.” 

“Having experienced a mind meld before with the current version of yourself, I consent. I’ve been through much worse recently anyway,” John frowned slightly. 

“Please, come and have a seat over here,” Spock got up and motioned for John to join him on a small couch. “Mrs. Harrison, please join us as you will be able to determine if the meld should be broken if either of us are no longer able to tolerate the bond.” 

John and Catherine complied with Spock’s directions and took their indicated places. Despite brushing off the impending mind meld as nothing to be concerned about, Catherine sensed John’s anxiety and took his hand giving it a soft squeeze. “Are you both ready?” she asked John and Spock. 

“Yes,” John nodded before clenching his jaw ever so slightly. 

Spock placed his fingertips on John’s face then recited, “My mind to your mind. My thoughts to your thoughts.” 

The melded pair spoke quietly back and forth with one another before relying solely on their mental link to communicate. Spock learned from John about his past life and of the events that occurred to him since Admiral Marcus and his men, not the crew of the _Enterprise_ , had discovered him and his people on the _Botany Bay_. Not feeling there was a great risk in disrupting the timeline any further, Spock relayed to John in detail what his life as Khan would have been like if Spock had not traveled to the past thus allowing Nero to change the course of history. Catherine could sense that both John and Spock were soon reaching their breaking points when Spock suddenly broke the meld. John cried out and shuddered before holding a hand over his mouth working to catch his breath. 

“Forgive me. Emotional transference is an effect of the mind meld,” the elder Spock explained as tears streamed down his cheeks. 

“So you do feel?” John lowly grumbled looking up at him with fear and confusion written on his face. 

“Yes,” Spock nodded. 

“Going back in time, you changed all our lives,” John noted. 

“It is a burden I will have to carry with me for the rest of my days.” 

“I’m not sure how I feel about it. Ambassador, I’ve been through hell and back this time around, but,” John paused taking hold of Catherine’s hand and looking up at her briefly, “part of me is glad that you did it. Perhaps things will turn out for the better if I work hard to achieve it.” 

“I have no doubt that you are certainly capable of achieving anything you want. Just do not let your superior ambition destroy you from within,” Spock imparted words of wisdom. 

“Point taken,” John nodded thinking about what he learned about his life during this Spock’s timeline. 

“Thank you for sharing your mind with me. I think that now I am able to put some old demons to rest. Now, if you’ll excuse me, this old Vulcan needs some sleep, as I am to return to New Vulcan in the morning. John and Catherine, I truly hope that you both live long and prosper,” Spock held up his hand displaying the traditional Vulcan salute with a peaceful smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Catherine seems to be happy with what she believes to be their freedom, but John doesn't seem to think of it in the same way...


	38. Shore Leave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you to all of my faithful followers and reviewers! You keep me motivated! :)
> 
> Listening track selections: "Armageddon" by Anberlin and "Lovers – Flower Garden" by Shigeru Umebayashi

Riding in the back of the Vulcan embassy transport vehicle on their return to the security complex where they were to spend at least one more night until they could find a place of their own in San Francisco, Catherine snuggled up to John taking hold of his hand and putting it in her lap.

"It's so nice not having our hands bound for once whilst outside of our room or stuck in the infirmary or hospital," she thought aloud as she stroked his hand. "Don't you think?"

John made no reply as he gazed outside the vehicle's window distracted by his thoughts.

"John?"

"Hmm?" he answered not tearing his gaze from the view of the outside world.

"Are you alright?" she asked sensing the inner turmoil brewing within his heart and mind.

"Yes," he answered shortly.

"Are you sure? I was considering having Ambassador Spock stop the mind meld. It was getting so intense for both of you. Okay, yes, I really should have stopped him," she decided. "But I suppose it is too late for that now. When we get back to our room, I'm going to contact Dr. McCoy and ask him to bring you some lexorin. Imzadi," she stroked his forearm, "you don't look well, and you're paler than usual. Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine, Catherine, really," John finally looked at her. "I'm just tired. It was a trying day for both of us, no?"

"Yes, I suppose it was. Perhaps you just need a good night's rest, but if you're still not yourself in the morning, I will be in contact with the doctor," she threatened.

"Very well," he huffed slightly and looked out the window once again.

"No need to bark," she spoke timidly almost as if to herself before resting her head on his shoulder in silence.

Arriving at the complex, John got out of the vehicle first and then helped Catherine wriggle out also as it was becoming more and more difficult to maneuver due to her ever-progressing pregnancy. Linking arms, John led her inside and through the hallways not uttering a single word. While they walked quietly without a security escort, as they were now essentially free despite their chosen punishment, Catherine peered up at John and frowned seeing his face appearing quite pale noting dark circles under his eyes and a pained expression upon his face as if he would break down in tears at any moment.

" _He's emotionally exhausted. Oh darling,"_ she thought to herself as she once again rested her head against his shoulder,  _"why must you always do this to yourself?"_

Reaching their room, John began stripping down. Taking off his shirt and flinging it onto the floor near their small dining table, he went into the bathroom to start getting ready for bed. Catherine sighed and shook her head before bending over struggling to pick the shirt up off the floor. Successfully reaching it and standing back up, she nuzzled her face into the still warm fabric and breathed in John's scent deeply before noticing his PADD on the table with a notification that a message was awaiting him.

Picking it up and opening the message seeing that it was from her parents, Catherine read:  _"My precious ones, we are elated to hear the news that the Federation Council has shown you clemency! I wept with relief once Admiral Morrow told me of your potential punishments and John's decision. Not that we aren't already proud, but we know that you will both make us even more proud serving in Starfleet. We already found a place for you to stay here in San Francisco. You may not like it, but it will work until you can find something more to your liking. Besides, it will be better than that horrid, small room you've been trapped in recently. Better yet, there is enough room for the baby if you do decide to stay in the new place. We're going to just stay here on Earth for the remainder of your pregnancy and to help you for a short while after the baby arrives. Tomorrow, we're going to pick you up late morning, take you out for lunch, and then get you moved into your new home. Sleep well my little one and little warrior. All my love – Mum…. And Dad, too."_

Catherine smiled reading the note that was obviously all her mother's doing and was happy to know that she and John would be spending their last night in their cramped albeit somewhat posh, being that it was usually used for high-ranking officials, prison quarters. Kicking off her shoes and unzipping her tailored dress sliding it off her body, Catherine unhooked her bra, took it off, and pulled her nightgown over her head.

John emerged from the bathroom wearing only a pair of tight, grey boxer briefs that hugged him in all the right places. If it were not for the fact that she already knew he had been through enough that day and was emotionally exhausted, Catherine would have pounced on him then and there as she already felt her loins stirring. Instead with slight disappointment in her heart, she gently kissed him on the cheek and handed him the PADD so he could also read her mother's message before making her way into the bathroom for her nighttime routine. John quickly read the message and then crawled into bed awaiting Catherine to join him. As he waited, his thoughts raced once again.

" _Kirk, that backstabbing bastard,"_ he clenched his jaw tightly in anger. _"How the hell can I possibly submit myself to his command for five entire years? I do not even know in what capacity I will be expected to serve aboard that garbage scow! If only the_ Vengeance _had survived. We would be completely free of Starfleet. I would have my own ship. We would have the means to go where we will and would escape our exile aboard the_ Enterprise _. I would prove my superior intellect and defeat the plans of Captain Kirk. He tasks me. He tasks me, and I shall have him!"_ he fought the urge to growl out loud. Catherine emerged from the bathroom catching his attention and helping him to refocus his thoughts.  _"No, I must heed Spock's warning. I must not let my heart stray from that or rather from those who are more important than my hubris and ego. I must not allow myself to blindly fall into the fate of my other self,"_  he managed to relax and unclenched his teeth.

Climbing into bed, Catherine snuggled up next to John. Tenderly brushing away the usual fringe of hair that had fallen into his face, she leaned in and pressed her lips against his own before settling down and nuzzling into his neck. "Thank you, John. I cannot even begin to find the words to express my appreciation for what you did for our daughter and for me today. I know the thought of having to work for Starfleet pains you after everything we've been through in regards to Section 31. How can I ever show you my gratitude?" she spoke quietly her lips brushing against his skin.

"Having you proudly and ever at my side, my Khanum, will always be enough. I only want your happiness," John struggled to answer her, his voice threatening to break.

"I know that I always say it, and they're such simple words, but, John, I love you," Catherine found herself fighting back tears. "You're a part of me, you know."

"And you also are a part of me," he nodded knowingly.

"Just remember, Imzadi, that what causes you pain causes me pain as well. I know that the pain in your heart is ultimately your own and not my responsibility, but you must realize that it tears my heart apart when you withdraw and do not share your burdens with me. I'm not trying to make you feel guilty or trying to start a quarrel or anything. I just want to remind you."

"I know, and I've never forgotten. Do not think that it is because I do not want to share my heart with you that I withdraw myself from you and the world around me, as I trust you more than anyone with my heart. If I truly knew deep down why I do it, I would try to find a way to stop myself. I no longer have the excuse of trying to save face since I am no longer in the role of Khan and having to be a leader to my people. I do not want to end up rotting from within from the pain and wrath that dwells inside of me ever threatening to eat my heart and soul alive as well as those I love. Catherine, please help me," John struggled to contain his emotions. "I do not want to become the old, bitter and mad man that I saw in the mind meld this evening with Spock!"

"John," Catherine reached up and stroked his cheek trying to soothe him, "you're not going to become the man that you saw in Ambassador Spock's mind. When you're feeling better, you can tell me more about what you saw during the mind meld, and we can sort through that together. Regardless, you will not be that man. The ambassador himself was a bit stunned at the difference he saw in you compared to the Khan that he knew. Besides, I will not allow you to turn into the Khan you saw. Now, I think this is enough talk of such matters for tonight. I can tell it's making you even more upset. You're emotionally drained, Imzadi, and I really do think you would benefit from a dose of lexorin in the morning. For now, let's try to get some sleep."

Catherine quickly fell asleep which was some comfort to John despite the fact that it soon appeared to him that sleep would allude him this night. Holding her tightly, his mind wandered to what he saw and experienced in the mind meld. A moment in time, almost a flashback, went through his consciousness:

" _You fled. Why? Were you afraid?"_ Captain Kirk pressed.

" _I've never been afraid,"_  Khan boldly replied.

" _But you left at the very time mankind needed courage,"_  the young captain taunted.

" _We offered the world order!"_ Khan slammed his fist on the table.

Another moment from Spock's memories flashed through John's mind:

" _Your ship is mine. I have shut off the life-support system to your bridge and jammed up your exit routes. I am willing to negotiate,"_  Khan contacted Kirk from the engineering section of the  _Enterprise_.

" _Flood all decks with neural gas,"_  the captain commanded.

" _Impossible. Intruder control systems inoperative. Mr. Khan was very thorough in his study of our tech manuals,"_  Spock reported.

" _Contact Starbase Twelve,"_  Kirk looked to Lieutenant Uhura.

" _All channels are totally jammed, captain,"_ she replied.

" _Brilliant, every contingency anticipated,"_  Spock noted. John could almost picture his eyebrow arching in fascination.

" _Your air should be getting quite thin by now,"_  Khan smiled to himself from engineering.  _"Do you surrender the bridge?"_

" _Negative."_

" _Academic, captain. Refuse and every person on the bridge will suffocate…"_

John shuddered as he recalled and whispered to himself in the darkness, "And after every single person aboard your ship suffocates, I will walk over your cold corpses to recover my people. Now, shall we begin?"

Putting his hand over his eyes, John struggled as yet another vision of Spock's flooded his mind:

" _Admiral! The commander_ Reliant _is signaling. He wishes to discuss terms of our surrender,"_  Uhura shouted out to Captain Kirk with desperation in her voice.

" _Visual on screen!"_  Kirk replied.

" _Admiral?"_

" _Do it! While we still have time,"_ the captain did his best to hide the fear in his voice.

" _On screen, sir."_

" _Khan!"_ the captain gasped.

An older version of himself, a long, white-haired bedraggled Khan appeared on the bridge's view screen. A rag tag group of Augments wearing a mixture of rags and stolen Starfleet uniforms could be seen behind him.

" _You still remember, Admiral? I cannot help but be touched. Of course, I remember you,"_  Khan sat in the captain's chair of the  _Reliant_  with a gleam of madness in his eyes.

" _What is the meaning of this attack? Where is the crew of the_ Reliant _?"_  Kirk demanded answers.

" _Surely I have made my meaning plain. I mean to avenge myself upon you, admiral. I've deprived your ship of power, and when I swing around I mean to deprive you of your life. But I wanted you to know first who it was who had beaten you."_

" _Khan, if it's me you want, I'll have myself beamed aboard. Spare my crew!"_  Kirk pleaded in the same manner the present-day Kirk pleaded with Admiral Marcus to spare his crew.

Unable to bear the flashbacks intruding his thoughts any longer, John carefully scooted out from under Catherine's sleeping form and picked up his PADD. Sitting at the table, he sent a transmission hoping against all hope that Dr. McCoy was still awake.

"Commander?" Dr. McCoy furrowed his brow sleepily as he appeared on the screen of John's PADD. "God, man, you look horrible!" he exclaimed noting John's physical appearance.

"Please help me," John responded quietly lest he wake Catherine.

"What's happened?"

"I appear to be suffering from a Vulcan mind meld, doctor," John winced as another brief albeit emotionally painful vision flashed through his head. "Catherine suggested lexorin."

"That would explain why you literally look green around the gills. Where is Catherine?"

"She's asleep. After the difficult day we had, I did not want to trouble her further," John flipped the PADD around briefly to show Dr. McCoy that Catherine was indeed in bed and asleep.

"I'll gather my med kit and be right over. Are you sure you'll be all right before I get there? Perhaps you should have Catherine monitor you until I arrive," Dr. McCoy suggested.

"No, that won't be necess- Ah!" John shouted out in pain falling out of his chair onto the floor with a loud crash dropping the PADD and awakening Catherine with a jolt.

"Commander! Commander!" she could hear Dr. McCoy's voice shouting from the PADD. Noting John was not in bed with her, she turned around and found him lying on the floor holding his hands to his head.

" _No, not again!"_  Catherine recalled when he suffered from headaches due to being infested with the Ceti eel larva. Jumping out of bed, she dashed to his side picking up the PADD.

"Catherine! What is going on?" Dr. McCoy asked as she noted him rushing about his quarters gathering his med kit supplies.

"I don't know! I was asleep. He's in quite a lot of pain," she did her best to report the situation calmly.

"Keep him comfortable as possible. I'll have to stop and get multiple doses of lexorin, but I'm on my way!" Dr. McCoy stopped his transmission.

"John, tell me what's wrong. What is causing you so much pain?" Catherine patted him on the bicep, as he appeared to be calming down.

Still holding his hands to his head, John began muttering to himself what sounded like nonsense to Catherine. "Ship out of danger? Don't grieve, admiral. It is illogical. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one. I never took the  _Kobayashi Maru_  test until now. What do you think of my solution? I have been and always shall be your friend. Live long and prosper."

"What are you talking about? John, we're not on a ship. There's no admiral here. I can't communicate through my telepathic link with you. Your mind is a complete jumble right now."

"Catherine," John struggled to come to his senses and back to reality.

"I'm right here, Imzadi. What is it?"

"Don't go to Ceti Alpha V. You must never go to the damned planet. In fact, stay away from the entire system! Don't go to Ceti Alpha V!" he started to shout over and over as he tried to sit up on the floor. "Don't go to Ceti Alpha V!"

"John, stop! I won't go to Ceti Alpha V!" she tried to force him to look at her.

"Please don't go there. Please don't go," he started to weep.

"I promise you that I will never go to Ceti Alpha V," she sat beside him and cradled him in her arms to comfort him despite feeling utterly confused about his ravings.

"Imzadi, that green-blooded half-breed did this to me. Make it stop."

"Then you must focus on me, John. I will try to alleviate the discomfort, but you must listen to me. Understand?"

"Yes," he nodded.

" _What you saw happened in another timeline and place. You were a different man and had a different goal in life. You are not the Khan that Ambassador Spock knew."_

" _I'm afraid that I'm not so confident of that as you."_

" _Spock wept to see you. I sensed some degree of affection within his heart for you, this version of you rather, despite whatever it was that you had done to him in his life."_

" _I'm so tired."_

" _I know, John. Dr. McCoy will be here soon. We'll start treating you with the lexorin, and then you can get some sleep,"_ she reassured him.  _"I won't leave your side. Okay?"_

" _Okay,"_  John allowed his body to relax despite the ongoing chaos in his mind and his excruciating headache.

" _Hold my hand,"_  she instructed him.

"Catherine, give me an update, please," Dr. McCoy burst through the door.

"After our trial, Ambassador Sarek approached us and informed us that his superior wished to speak with us this evening. He could not wait since he has to return to New Vulcan in the morning. The elderly ambassador, a Vulcan scientist of your acquaintance, requested to perform a mind meld with John. At one point, I considered stopping the meld as both were reaching their breaking points, but they mutually broke their bond, the intensity being too much. They both experienced a great degree of emotional transference. John has not quite been himself since. Mentally, he's in there and frightened, but he keeps raving almost like a mad man. For a while, what he was telling me made no sense," Catherine reported.

"Let's get him to bed," Dr. McCoy pulled John out of Catherine's lap allowing her to get off the floor and help him move John to their bed. Having John sit on the side of the bed first, Dr. McCoy pulled out his tricorder and began running scans. "I've heard of mind melds causing negative side effects, but this case seems particularly bad," he frowned. "I'm going to give him a double dose of lexorin to start with as well as something for the headache and a sedative to let him get some sleep. I'll contact the embassy to see if the ambassador is also experiencing any ill effects and see if they have any further recommendations in regards to treatment," the doctor injected John with said hyposprays of medication.

"Will he recover?"

"I think he will be fine as there are numerous other factors feeding into the severity of his condition at the moment, one being exhaustion. I know he would never readily admit it to anyone except perhaps you, but he's been through quite a lot recently physically, mentally, and emotionally. His body is still not quite back to 100% of his previous strength. Dr. Noel tells me that he's not making much progress during your sessions either," Dr. McCoy said as he helped Catherine scoot a now sedated John into the bed.

"No, he's not," Catherine frowned. "He's been very withdrawn. I fear he will hide away even more now that his very soul has been exposed to the ambassador. With all due respect to Dr. Noel, as she has helped me greatly, I may have to take matters into my own hands in regards to John's therapeutic needs."

"Well, you do seem to know and understand him best," the doctor agreed. "I'm going to leave this hypospray of lexorin here. Give him another double dose at around 0600. I'll stop by first thing to see how he is doing and let you know if the Vulcan ambassador has any further recommendations."

"Dr. McCoy-"

"Leonard. You can call me Leonard except for when we're on duty, Catherine," he smiled.

"Leonard, do you think John will be well enough to be moved to our new home tomorrow?"

"Play it by ear and ask him how he is feeling in the morning. He should be fine to go out and about, but try to keep him from becoming overstimulated. Besides, it should do him some good to finally get out of this gilded cage."

In the morning, Catherine gave John the second dose of lexorin as Dr. McCoy instructed. John awoke briefly, and after letting Catherine know that, although still quite tired from the sedative, he was feeling somewhat better, he rolled back over and fell back asleep. Hearing him start to snore quietly, Catherine smiled to herself and decided to stay up and get ready for the day in hopes that he would be well enough to move out. After having some breakfast and updating her mother in regards to the events of the prior evening, Catherine was surprised to receive an incoming transmission from the Vulcan embassy on her PADD.

"Ambassador Spock?" Catherine answered.

"Dr. McCoy informed us of the unfortunate response your husband had to our mind meld last night. Is the commander available?" Spock asked kindly.

"John is resting at the moment. It is probably best to let him sleep, but I'd be happy to convey any messages to him on your behalf."

"I just wanted to apologize for what he experienced. It was never my intention to bring him harm let alone the mental anguish he must have experienced due to my actions. I believe that he will recover with no complications with ongoing treatments of lexorin, but in the event that he continues to experience any difficulties, we will arrange for him to be seen by our top Vulcan medical practitioners on New Vulcan as part of his ongoing rehabilitation."

"Thank you, sir. I will let him know," Catherine looked down sadly.

"What is wrong, Mrs. Harrison?" Spock asked with genuine concern letting his human half take over.

"You do not have to explain anything as John will tell me everything when he is ready, but he is terrified of becoming like the Khan that you knew."

"Keep reassuring him that it will not happen. After all, he has you," Spock encouraged her. "He did not know you in my time."

"Well, I hope then that I can help him stay on the straight and narrow," she cracked a smile.

"There's an old Earth saying: Behind every great man, Catherine, there is a great woman. I am confident that you will not fail him."

Insisting that he was well enough and given Dr. McCoy's go ahead after examining him that morning, John wanted to proceed with their previous plans to have lunch with her parents and then move into their new home. Per usual, Kestra brought them both new clothes to wear, and after John collected their personal belongings from Commander Neal, the Harrisons were officially released from the security complex. Taking Dr. McCoy's advice, they went to a quiet area of a park to provide John with a less stimulating environment. John rolled his eyes slightly as Catherine was resolute that he wear sunglasses to prevent him from coming down with another headache.

Kestra parked John at a picnic table, and seeing that he did not look well, quietly went about doting upon her favorite little warrior to ensure that he was as comfortable as possible while Dylan and Catherine took a short walk nearby to admire the flower gardens.

"Your birthday is coming up soon, little girl," Dylan started quietly. "Anything specific that you'd like?"

"Nothing comes to mind really. I know that it's not anything that you or mum can do, but I just want John to be well and happy. I just want him to be whole for once in his life. Speaking of birthdays, as he has no idea what his day of birth was, John and I decided to celebrate our birthdays together. I want to do something special for him for his first birthday celebration, and I think with that you can help," Catherine beamed.

"What did you have in mind?"

That evening after Kestra and Dylan had left John and Catherine in their new dwelling, Catherine walked into their bedroom to see how John was feeling. The bedroom had large windows with a view overlooking part of the bay, and John stood once again in naught but his boxer briefs staring out the window. Catherine quietly walked towards him and noted that he was holding his left hand to his mouth deep in thought. Looking at the windowsill, she noted fresh drops of blood. As she got closer lifting her gaze to John's face, she saw a stream of blood running from his hand, down his arm, and dripping off his elbow and realized that he was biting furiously on the side of his closed fist with hot tears streaming down his face.

"John, what are you doing?" Catherine reached to pull his hand away from his mouth. "You're hurting yourself!"

"Catherine," John inhaled sharply slightly startled as he had not heard her approach.

Running and grabbing a towel, Catherine gently wiped away the excess blood and watched as his self-inflicted wounds quickly began to close on their own. "What's wrong, John? Why are you doing this? What are you feeling? Please tell me."

"For an instant I dared to shake off my chains, and look around me with a free and lofty spirit; but the iron had eaten into my flesh, and I sank again, trembling and hopeless, into my miserable self," he quoted  _Frankenstein_.

"What?"

"I don't know what I'm feeling," he started to weep as he sank to the floor on his hands and knees. "I don't understand. Help me understand what I feel," he crawled and latched on to her legs.

Catherine knelt and gently stroked his hair as she focused on sorting through the wide array of emotions he was feeling. By this time, he was sobbing bitterly, completely and utterly broken down and even moaning in the emotional agony he was experiencing. Wriggling out of his grasp, Catherine knelt down further on her knees and cupped his cheeks with her hands.

"This isn't from the mind meld. This is all you tonight, Imzadi," she started to explain as she wiped the tears from his cheeks. "I sense many mixed emotions in your heart right now: anger, grief, confusion, love, and more. I think, however, the greatest emotion that I can sense is complete and utter relief. While you still have not fully come to terms with the punishment you chose for us both, you are relieved. Our family is safe, and you will see them again in the upcoming months ahead. Our daughter is safe, and I am going to be safe, too. For the first time in so long, you do not have to worry about harm coming to those that you love. All the pain you had experienced, all the sacrifices that you made have finally paid off allowing you to take a deep breath and just relax."

"Then why am I so upset? Why have I been brought to my knees as a blubbering fool?" he started to calm down as she embraced him and rubbed his back.

"You're experiencing a catharsis, John. Everything that you've been holding inside of you for the past several months and perhaps even years is finally being released. Think of it as a cleansing. I will not judge you. It is okay to cry, you know," she herself began to sniffle a bit.

"I'm not sure what to think," he sighed in frustration with his feelings.

"Then don't think, John," she held up his hand and intertwined her fingers with his own. "Just breathe," she leaned forward and kissed him lovingly. "Let me hold you and shelter you until you feel strong again."

Early May, John took numerous exams to determine his best placement at Starfleet Academy. It was no surprise to anyone that other than several catch-up courses that he could take during the summer term as part of the Starfleet Academy Preparatory Program, the Superintendant of Starfleet Academy gave John standing as a senior with no hesitation. Naturally, John chose to major in Engineering and opted to also take courses for the command-track curriculum being that he was eager to take the infamous  _Kobayashi Maru_  scenario and also the Starfleet bridge officer examination. Despite his ongoing emotional difficulties, John could not help but want to prove his superiority especially if it meant upstaging Captain Kirk. Some of the professors snickered and sneered at his arrogance in attempting to accomplish so much in such a short time at the academy, but others were interested to see how he was going to perform given that he was an Augment. With approval from the Federation Council and Starfleet Academy, Catherine took John's previous suggestion and signed up for classes for counseling.

The Harrisons also resumed their counseling sessions with Dr. Noel. Despite John's cathartic release the evening after they moved out of the prison complex, he continued to be withdrawn even with Catherine much to her dismay. Soon, he stopped attending their sessions completely using the excuse that he needed to study and prepare for the upcoming semester.

"So, how have your nightmares been?" Dr. Noel asked Catherine who was seated across from her on the other side of her desk.

"Surprisingly much improved," she admitted. "I am still having them, but they feel shorter, don't seem as severe, and are becoming less frequent. I understand that given the situation, I had to kill in order to survive. I still struggle at times with that, but I understand that it is not my fault."

"Good. So, where is-"

"Don't even bother asking, Dr. Noel," Catherine got up from her chair and plopped onto the couch in Dr. Noel's office. "John isn't coming today, and I think it's safe to say that he isn't coming anymore at all. I'm so worried about him. I'm starting to think that he's depressed, but as you're the doctor, I'll leave diagnosing him up to you."

"What have you observed, Catherine? Give me your best nursing assessment," Dr. Noel smiled.

"I don't know why but I sense that he feels guilty a lot, and it's like he's out to punish himself. He hides himself away studying constantly. His affect is so flat, and he's been somewhat irritable. It would take the act of a deity to make him smile. He just looks sad, and I sense that he has little hope despite all the good things that are going to happen in the upcoming months," she reported.

"Is there anything else?"

"This is how I know something is wrong: he has had absolutely no interest in sex which is not like him at all! I've tried more times than I can count to get him to bed me, and even when we're laying there at night in bed, I feel like I'm sleeping next to a lifeless log of wood."

"Although it quite sounds like it, without actually asking him further questions myself, I cannot outright diagnose John with depression nor treat him for it," Dr. Noel explained.

"I know and understand. I just don't know what to do. It's like he's lost his spirit. He used to be so undaunted by even the worst that we experienced together while we were in Section 31. He's lost his ability to fight."

"We'll keep thinking on possible ways to help John, but for now, I think it would be a good idea for you both to get away from it all for a couple weeks before you start the summer term at the academy. I've already cleared everything with Dr. McCoy and the Federation Council. You just need to select somewhere to go within reason."

"John won't go anywhere," Catherine scoffed.

"He doesn't have a choice about this," Dr. Noel smiled gleefully. "These are orders from his superiors, myself, and Dr. McCoy."

"I like the way you all think," Catherine grinned. "He's going to be so pissed of about it and downright cranky, but I know just the right place to take him. I also think I know what must be done to stir the coals in his heart as well. I'll be taking a risk. But it must be done, and I need to be the one to do it."

"Just be careful," the doctor warned.

As Catherine expected, John was not happy about being torn away from his studies and being forced to spend two weeks away from civilization. Ignoring his complaints, Catherine packed their bags and began formulating a plan to get her John back. Kestra and Dylan picked them up and took them to their awaiting shuttlecraft that was already stocked with the supplies Catherine knew that they would need for the destination that she selected for them. Besides the fact that he did not want to go, John could care less where she was taking him, so, she kept it a secret.

John sat in one of the pilot's chairs in the front of the shuttlecraft with his arms crossed and brooding, and Catherine could not help but crack a smile despite her concern for his emotional well-being. She put in the coordinates for their destination and set the controls to autopilot. Shortly into their trip, he finally grumbled, "Where are we going?"

"Yosemite. I certainly won't be doing any climbing in this state, but you could always strap me to your back and carry me up El Capitan," Catherine teased.

"I don't want to do any climbing," he snarled back.

" _Oh, you will want to do more than that when I'm through with you,"_  she shook her head.

After landing, John begrudgingly set up their campsite outside the shuttle while Catherine worked on getting their lunch. Walking out of the shuttle carrying the tray of food, Catherine stopped as she watched a shirtless, sweaty John chopping wood with an axe. Pushing aside her thoughts of wanting nothing more than throwing aside their lunch and ravaging him right there on the forest floor, she kept a safe distance and cleared her throat to gain his attention to let him know his lunch was ready.

"Thank you," John said curtly taking his plate of food. Catherine sat on a log, and he quietly sat beside her.

"I'm tired of this, John," she briefly lost her patience with him. "Sorry," she winced at her own words.

"Tired of what? Being stuck with me?" he grumbled before taking a large bite of his sandwich.

"That's not what I meant. Just never mind what I said," she frowned trying not to cry knowing what she was going to do to him that evening.

Having spent the rest of the afternoon and early evening in silence with each other, Catherine went inside the shuttle to start getting ready for bed and to prepare herself mentally and emotionally for the task she set for herself. Entering the shuttle having ensured that their campfire was well contained, John came inside to shower and also get ready for bed.

Once he came out of the shower with naught but a towel a round his waist, taking a deep breath, Catherine began her assault. "So, do you think you might be able to get it up tonight, or am I going to have to get off by touching myself yet again? So, what does it take now, a vibrator up your ass?" she flung to him quite possibly the lowest blow she could think of at that moment.

"What did you just say?" John spun around his towel almost falling off his hips.

"You heard me with those Augment ears of yours!"

"How dare you!"

"Who would have thought it? Khan Noonien Singh, one of the most powerful men to ever live, prefers taking it up the ass. I guess that I can't give that to you adequately, so you have no use for me anymore at least in a sexual sense!"

"Are you mad?" he furrowed his brow unsure if he should be concerned or angry.

"When they said during the trial about all the weapons you once had at your disposal, all the power you had within your grasp, I shuddered at the thought and nearly soaked through my panties with how aroused it made me. Now look at you! Cowering in our bedroom surrounded by books and PADDs all the time, the shell of the man you once were. Nobody has defeated you, John, not Admiral Marcus, not Dr. Zineeri, not Captain Kirk, and certainly not the Federation Council! The only person that has defeated you is yourself! You've been your very own Armageddon! I am ashamed of you!" Catherine slapped him across the face as hard as she could. John only stared at her in shock, so she slapped him a second and third time. As she went to strike him a fourth time, John caught her by the wrist.

"How dare you strike me without my permission, woman!" John glared at her with hurt and fury written on his countenance and in his eyes, his hair having fallen into his face. If she had been on Kronos at the time, Catherine would have recognized the same look on his face as the one he had given Captain Kirk when he had struck him over and over.

"Or what, you'll crush my skull with your own bare hands? You haven't the guts anymore! You're a coward!" she taunted and spat at his feet.

With her words, John launched himself at her grabbing by the shoulders roughly spinning her around pushing her against the wall of the shuttlecraft before he did in fact take hold of her head between his two large hands. Catherine held up her hands in surrender and flinched almost expecting him to follow through with crushing her skull when he suddenly pulled her head towards him and instead crushed his lips hungrily and roughly to her own in a ravenous kiss. Lowering her hands to rest on his shoulders and pull him closer, Catherine realized that in his display of anger, John's towel had fallen off and pooled on the floor. She felt his once again proud erection nudging into her belly.

" _Do you trust me?"_ he suddenly broke the kiss and looked intensely into her eyes.

" _Completely."_

" _You will tell me if I am hurting you? You will tell me to stop if need be?"_

" _Of course,"_ she nodded quickly.

" _You do not have any sentimental feelings for any of the articles of clothing you are wearing, do you?"_

" _No, none."_

" _Good,"_  he growled lowly and tore at the front of her nightgown to expose her breasts.

"Imzadi," Catherine panted running her hands through his hair.

After roughly lapping at her pert nipples, he spun her around so her back was facing him. Lifting up the bottom of her nightgown and using two hands lest he give her brush burns on her skin, John tore off her panties and felt between her folds groaning upon finding her dripping wet for him. Nudging her legs apart a bit more with his knee, John thrust his member inside of her to the hilt causing her to yelp in surprise and pleasure.

Waiting a moment as she panted and then let out a moan in frustration with his stillness, John whispered in her ear, "Okay?"

"Move, John, please move inside me," she pleaded as she tried to roll her hips to cause the friction she desperately needed.

Complying with her request, John began pounding himself into her, the sound of his flesh slapping off her bottom. Catherine practically squealed in feeling the pleasure of him stretching her, as her pregnancy caused her genitals to be more engorged with blood than usual thus making her all the more sensitive. John wrapped one arm around her to aid in his thrusts and snaked his free hand down around her front to tease her swollen bud causing her to nearly scream in delight upon his first stroke.

Desperately wanting to satisfy her before finding his own release, which was quickly drawing near, John changed his angle ever so slightly and rubbed vigorously away at her aroused bud. Hearing a change in the quality of her moans, he knew she was also getting close to her climax.

"You are my only weakness," John somehow managed to groan in her ear. "Oh fuck, I can't hold on much longer, darling," he tried to slow his thrusts to try to prolong his pleasure and help her reach her orgasm.

"John, I'm going to come!" Catherine gasped before feeling her center clench around his member. To both of their surprises as she had never done it before during an orgasm, clear liquid came rushing from her center running down her legs and his erection.

With her response, John could no longer hold back, and feeling his own release, he bit down hard on the crook between her neck and shoulder as her muscles milked his member and his seed pumped into her center. "Oh god," he released his bite and rested his head on her shoulder as they both gasped for air.

Catherine reached behind her pulling him as close to her as possible. "I finally have my Khan back," she sighed as tears formed in her eyes. "I didn't think our love-making could possibly get any better, but John, that was amazing. You caught me by surprise."

Pressing a gentle kiss to the bruised bite mark he placed on her body, John sighed in contentment before pulling his now flaccid member out of her and turning her around to face her. "You are also full of surprises, my dear," he grinned and looked at the puddle of her bodily fluid on the floor before he used his foot to use his towel to wipe it up lest she slip and fall.

"I know it is possible, but I had no idea that I was capable of that," she chuckled as a tear rolled down her cheek. "Look what you made me do," she teased.

"Thank you a thousand times over," John kissed her forehead. "You knew what it took to stoke the fire in my heart once again."

"And your loins apparently."

"There, too," he laughed.

"Oh, looks like we have a little spy," Catherine pointed to a raccoon who was sitting in the doorway of the shuttle watching them. John grinned and barked at it like a dog causing it to scurry away. Catherine burst out laughing and he shortly joined her.

"It was selfish of me to turn inwards and focus only on my self-pity and self-doubt, and for that, I am sorry. It is still going to be difficult for me, but I think that I can now at least talk things out with you," John shared.

"I'm sorry for my words earlier. It was wrong of me to mock you for what Dr. Zineeri did to you," she blushed recalling her making light of John's rape. "I truly hurt you."

"I know why you said what you did, and I know now that you did not mean it. I forgive you," he embraced her. "Let's get cleaned up, and then, let's go look at the stars for a little while. Okay?"

With Catherine's agreement, they showered together on the shuttlecraft quickly and got dressed in warm clothes. John spread out a blanket, and after helping Catherine get down on the ground, he joined her. As they reclined looking at the starry sky, Catherine could not help but to ask, "How do you feel?"

"I feel," John paused a moment taking a survey of his current emotions before continuing, "I feel young. Yes, I feel young. I feel loved. I feel safe. And I think that deep down I might actually feel hope. How do you feel?"

"Blissful. Sleepy. Maybe a little sore," she elbowed him playfully in the ribs. "I've missed you, you know."

"I think even when I was self-absorbed and in my own dark, little world that I missed you, too."

"Our little one also missed you. She was not as active when you were silent. I was starting to grow concerned. But she's happy now that her papa's back," Catherine pulled his hand to her belly so that he could feel their daughter kicking away. A low laugh rumbled from between his lips.

The next day, Catherine packed a lunch and had John beam her to the flat top of El Capitan where she would await his arrival. Having set up their little picnic, Catherine sat down and thought fondly about the last time they were at this location. Her reverie was soon broken as she saw one of John's hands reach over the edge. She got up to urge him on just as he did for her.

"Ugh, this was harder this time around after having been shot," John grunted out as he worked to pull himself up over the ledge.

"Almost there, darling," she cheered him on.

Soon enough, John finished his climb, and feeling hot and sweaty, he peeled off his shirt while Catherine retrieved for him a cold drink of water. Drinking his fill and feeling rejuvenated, John got up and joined her for lunch. "Well, I broke no records this time around," he shook his head before taking a bite of the apple she handed him.

"At least you pressed on and made it to the top," Catherine smiled.

"That's because I knew that I'd find you at the top," he winked.

Finishing lunch and allowing John to rest a while, Catherine finally spoke, "If you're feeling up to it, can you tell me what you saw in the mind meld with Spock?"

"I'm ready," John nodded. "It was horrible, darling. You weren't a part of that version of my life at all, and my superior ambition led to my ultimate downfall. The _Enterprise_  discovered the  _Botany Bay_  and awakened only me. I revived my crew and tried to kill Captain Kirk in an attempt to overtake the ship and launch out an effort to conquer anything within my grasp. I failed and was exiled with my people on Ceti Alpha V."

"You told me never to go there."

"That planet is doomed, Catherine, and that is why we are never to go there. Not long after our arrival on the planet, Ceti Alpha VI exploded and destroyed the atmosphere of our planet. A planet once full of life was turned into a desert. My people began to fall one by one to the eel larvae, and some even tried to turn against me. After fifteen years of hell, the crew of the USS  _Reliant_  found us. Needless to say, it did not take much for me to overpower them and commandeer the ship. In that timeline, Carol Marcus and her son David, the bastard child of Kirk, had created her own version of the Genesis torpedo. I lured Kirk in to seek my vengeance and to steal the Genesis device in order to wreak havoc upon his precious Federation before finally settling down again with my people. My desire for revenge and my own madness, however, ultimately led to my defeat. I died alone, a bitter old man. Spock died to save the crew of the  _Enterprise_ , so having seen things through his eyes, I am sure that I probably muttered some things that he had said."

"Was there a woman in your life at all?" Catherine asked shyly.

"Yes, but her identity does not matter," he replied quickly not wanting to admit to her that the woman was in fact her friend Marla McGivers. "In that timeline, I thought her to be superior and loved her, but Imzadi, she is in no way comparable to you. She easily succumbed to the environment on Ceti Alpha V, but you, Catherine, are so much stronger and have been through so much worse already. This timeline has not been easy either, but I am all the more happy to have you at my side. She was nothing but submissive. While you allow me to be dominant most of the time and submit to my will, when appropriate, you know when to speak up and defy me for my own good," he smiled at her with love in his eyes. "It is because you are a superior woman and because you understand that you are really my equal."

"I do enjoy allowing you to be dominant, but like last night, I do sometimes like giving it to you good," she felt her cheeks grow pink.

"And you've learned that I like it when you do. I've been so horrid lately that I think perhaps you need to spank me," he leaned towards her as his voice dipped low.

"Oh John," she laughed and playfully pushed him away.

Late that afternoon after they had eaten supper and as the sun started to set, the couple went for a hike in an area that John had selected. Helping Catherine along the path, they could hear the roar of water nearby. Coming upon a clearing, Catherine gasped as she took in the sight of a beautiful waterfall.

"This place is called Wapama Falls. Beautiful, isn't it?" John smiled and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"It's lovely! Thank you for bringing me here!"

"Let's get closer," he led her by the hand. Coming to the pool at the base of the falls, he turned and asked her, "Care to take a dip?"

"But I didn't bring a bathing suit," she started to protest.

"Neither did I," he grinned devilishly.

"But surely the water is too cold this time of year," she continued to stall.

Ignoring her excuses, John took off his gear and quickly stripped down completely before carefully wading into the water. "Darling, the water is fine. You will feel invigorated. Come on in!" he shouted back to her.

"What if someone sees us?" she asked nervously.

"You know that you have nothing to be ashamed of in regards to your body, and besides, if I catch someone watching you, I'll pluck their eyes right out of their skull!" he yelled with emphasis. "Come on, Catherine. For me?" he made a goofy face almost looking like a puppy.

"Oh, all right! But if I fall ill or if anything happens in regards to the pregnancy, it is all your fault!" she huffed as she dropped her bag and stripped down until nude. John greeted her at the side of the pool to assist her into the water. "It's cold," she gasped as her teeth chattered.

"You will get accustomed to it quickly," he reassured her and led her deeper.

"Keep me warm," she latched onto him and gently kissed the scar on his wet chest before resting her head on his shoulder.

"I'll do more than that," he pulled her close and kissed her softly. "I love you, Catherine Mae Singh Harrison. I'm sorry if I haven't told you that enough recently."

"I love you, too," she pushed his wet hair away from his eyes before she leant in and kissed him deeply.

Given the recent turn in their relationship, their kisses soon turned fervent leading to them quietly and gently making love to each other in the water, the waterfall drowning out their moans and sighs of pleasure and passion. Noting Catherine was indeed cold as the sun had gone down and there was a slight chill in the Spring air, John helped her out of the water, pulled his coat over her shoulder and quickly grabbed their belongings before beaming them back to the shuttle where they could get a hot shower and some tea.

The rest of their two weeks went smoothly, and Catherine was overjoyed to see John regain his spirit again. As they rode back to San Francisco, he excitedly told her of his plans and hopes in regards to his upcoming brief time at Starfleet Academy, the reawakening of some of his family, and the upcoming arrival of their baby daughter. He agreed with her request and returned to their sessions with Dr. Noel. Having already shared most of what was concerning him with Catherine during their two weeks of shore leave, John finally felt comfortable enough to talk to Dr. Noel about what he had experienced and how it had affected him.

"Your birthday is coming up soon," John remarked one day looking up from the PADD he was studying one afternoon.

"So is yours," Catherine reminded him.

"What would you like? I've never had to buy a birthday gift before," he admitted.

"You, John. All I want and need is you," she smiled.

"Shall I wrap myself in gift wrap and a bow?" he snorted.

"No, your birthday suit will be fine," she winked and walked out of the room.

"I better start looking for an actual gift now, or she'll have me tied down to the bed for her birthday," he smirked and mumbled to himself. "Then again that might not be all that bad..."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I in no way condone Catherine's method of handling John's depression-like symptoms. Having been through depression myself, you definitely can't just shake someone out of it! If you or someone you love is experiencing depression, seek medical attention!


	39. Happy Birthday, John

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Some sickeningly sweet Khan fluff to give the poor man a break... He'll be back to normal in the next chapter. :)
> 
> Listening track suggestions: “Over the Rainbow/Simple Gifts” by The Piano Guys, “Chocolate & Ice Cream” by Plumb, and “A Gift of a Thistle,” by James Horner

Catherine rubbed the sleep from her eyes and stretched before putting her hand on the bed beside her. Finding the other side of the bed empty and cool sheets beneath her hand, she noted John was likely up and about already as was often his wont. Sniffing the air, she noted the smell of cooking food wafting in from the kitchen, but her nose being a bit stuffy, she could not quite put her finger on what exactly was being made. Before she could throw back the covers and swing her legs out of bed, John, carrying a tray of food in his arms, appeared barefoot in the doorway wearing only his black pajama bottoms and an apron. “Good morning,” he grinned. 

“What have you been up to?” Catherine laughed noting the apron. 

“I’ve made breakfast. Today’s your birthday, isn’t it?” the smile on his face faded as he arched his brow feeling slightly confused and hoping that he had not somehow made a mistake and gotten the date wrong. 

“Yes, it’s _our_ birthday,” she emphasized. “What did you make?” 

John’s smile returned, and he set the tray on the nightstand before helping her sit up in the bed a bit better. Ensuring that she was comfortable, he placed the tray in front of her and explained to her the spread that he had made. “I thought that it would be nice to have real food, not something from the replicator, so I made French toast and sausage for you. On the side, there’s some strawberries, fresh-squeezed orange juice, and hot decaf Earl Grey.” 

“John, this is wonderful!” she exclaimed picking up a single rose that he placed on the tray for a garnish. “Share it with me? You’ve made quite a lot, and I won’t be able to finish it all. I would hate for it to go to waste with the effort you’ve put into it.” 

Nodding, John took off the apron and flung it on a chair before getting onto his side of the bed and sitting next to Catherine who was finishing putting maple syrup on the French toast and sausage. “Here, let me,” he took the fork and cut a piece of the toast before stabbing it and attempting to feed it to her. 

“It’s just my birthday. You don’t have to spoil me by waiting on my every need,” she playfully elbowed him in the side before he could get the food into her mouth. “Or is this payback for when I fed you in front of Dr. McCoy?” 

“Maybe a little bit of revenge, but seeing as the tray is not as close to you as it should be due to your abdomen being somewhat in the way at this point in your pregnancy, I wouldn’t want you to get the syrup all over you or your nightgown.” 

“Well, you could just lick it off,” she suggested. 

“Enough! Go on and bite it,” he rumbled as he fed her the piece of French toast. He held his breath awaiting her reaction to his cooking. 

“Darling, it’s amazing! When did you learn to make French toast?” she finally asked after chewing and swallowing her first bite. 

“This morning,” John shrugged his shoulders. “I’m not exactly experienced in the kitchen as others were usually in charge of our rations and serving the food both in my compound in Chandigarh and on the battlefield. Out in the field if I was on my own, I followed a hunter and gatherer sort of diet, and after Admiral Marcus allowed me to live away from the lab where they reanimated me and before I met you, I got a lot of takeaway food, kept simple staple food items in my flat that did not require much in terms of preparation, and when desperate, used the replicator. This morning, I just read the recipe. It wasn’t that difficult,” he explained. 

“You never cease to astound me with your ability to learn and adapt. Given your culinary success this morning, I think that you should cook more often.” 

“Now that we are getting settled into our new home, I was actually looking forward to sampling your cooking, but perhaps I will take it up as a hobby on the side and cook a few meals a week,” he resolved. 

“Sounds like a plan,” she nodded as he sampled the food he had prepared. 

The pair fell into a comfortable silence as they continued to consume the breakfast that John had made. Once finished, John moved the tray aside and leaned his head on Catherine’s shoulder resting his open palm on her belly. “Do you think we can do it?” he quietly asked. 

“Do what, John?” she stroked his hair. 

“Do you think that we can live a somewhat normal, quiet domestic life? Or have we become so accustomed to chaos and suffering that we will find ourselves bored and lose our minds? Can we provide our daughter the stability that she needs to develop into an emotionally healthy young woman someday?” 

“I don’t know what the future holds, and I don’t know how we’re going to adapt to the big changes that are ahead of us. In regards to normalcy, I do not think we will ever be what you consider to be normal or average. As individuals and in regards to our entire situation, we are so unique, exceptional, and we knew that things would be different for us when we came together. What I do know is that we are resilient, and we have so many people that love us that will be there to support us if we need it. I also truly believe that you are going to make an excellent father. You’re already an exceptional husband, and I trust you completely. Besides, have you forgotten?” 

“I do not forget,” he grumbled. “Fine, what is it?” he then sighed and admitted defeat after she did not respond. 

“You are better.” 

“At everything. My superior woman,” he kissed her on the cheek before turning to his nightstand and starting to root through the drawer. 

“What are you looking for?” 

“This,” he spun back and around and held up the necklace and lapis lazuli pendant he had given her when they were wed. “Time to return it to its rightful owner. Happy birthday, Imzadi,” he smiled tenderly as he clasped the necklace around her neck. 

“Oh, how could I have possibly forgotten about it? Thank you,” she tightly embraced him. 

“I have much more in store for you later,” he winked and jumped out of bed to start getting ready for the day much to Catherine’s frustration as she was hoping to at least cuddle some more if not possibly even spend some time making love. 

“Get back here! I’m not done with you yet!” Catherine called after him. 

“We’re having company over later this afternoon! We have to get ready for the party!” John called back to her from the bathroom before turning on the sink faucet as he was preparing to shave. 

“Bah!” she huffed recalling that her parents and several friends were coming to celebrate their birthdays and the outcome of their trial. To her surprise, John in particular also wanted to thank them all for their support and especially thank those that spoke in their defense. Dragging herself out of bed, Catherine hobbled into the bathroom to join John who was currently at the sink shaving. Playfully squeezing his backside, she quietly noted, “It wouldn’t have to be a long ordeal. We could be quick.” 

“When I said that I have more for you later, I meant it. You will have to be patient and wait. Besides, I have a cake to bake,” he explained before resuming shaving. 

Catherine reached up and felt his forehead with the back of her hand, “Are you feeling okay? Who are you and where is my husband?” 

“I’m fine. What’s wrong?” 

“It’s just, well, where is all this coming from?” 

“What? I’m not sure that I understand,” he stopped shaving with half of his face still covered in shaving cream. 

“All of this domesticity. Now that the worst is seemingly over and we are for the most part free to lead a somewhat stress-free life together, please do not feel that you have to force yourself into some preconceived role just to make me happy, John. I love you the way you are and do not expect you to be something that you’re not. You’re a leader, a genius, and a warrior, not Mr. Mom.” 

“Wasn’t that a film?” 

“John,” she groaned. 

“No, I see what you mean. Do not worry yourself. I am not pretending to be something that is not within my nature, and what I am doing is mainly for today. I am doing these things not because I think that I have to fulfill some kind of role just to please you. I want to do these things to show you, especially on your birthday, just how much I love you and appreciate you and all that you have done for me. You mean so much to me, and I am simply trying to make your day special.” 

“Really? Just for me for my birthday?” 

“Really,” he nodded. 

“I’d kiss you right now but you’re covered in shaving cream,” she giggled. 

“Later then?” he smirked. 

“Since you seem to be building up the sexual tension on purpose, fine, it can wait until later. Besides, two can play at this game,” she whispered in his hear as she slipped her hand down into the front of his pajama pants. Upon finding that he had nothing on underneath, she briefly stroked his penis eliciting a moan from deep within his throat and then quickly pulled her hand back out before going about her morning routine. 

“That’s not fair, Catherine!” he hissed. 

“Life’s not fair, John. Besides, I may have started it, but you could have easily and quickly finished it,” she winked mischievously before stripping slowly in front of him, almost to the point of being tortuous, and getting in the shower. 

“Shit,” he swore under his breath doing his best to finish shaving despite the aching sensation in his loins. “Ah!” he hissed quietly to himself having nicked his jaw line with the razor. John watched a couple drops of blood appear before the wound quickly closed. _“Back to normal,”_ he thought feeling relieved that it appeared his body was just about back in prime form. 

Later that morning, Catherine stood in the doorway of their kitchen and watched as John quickly gathered the necessary ingredients that he needed to bake her cake. “Do you mind if I watch?” she shyly asked trying to diffuse the sexual tension that was silently brewing between them. 

“Yes, of course,” John walked around the island and pulled out a stool for her to sit. “Here you go, love,” he helped her up onto the stool before giving to her a quick kiss on the cheek. Returning to the other side of the island, he asked, “Will chocolate cake and icing please you?” 

“You know me too well. I do have quite a weakness for chocolate!” 

“Besides your insatiable weakness for my cock,” he muttered. 

“Ugh, enough!” she slapped her open palm on the countertop breathing heavily. “Can we please call a truce? You’re killing me. It’s our birthday, and we shouldn’t be torturing each other like this. Let’s do our best to get through this party, and since you’re so insistent that it must wait, we’ll screw each other’s brains out later once everyone has gone home. Okay?” she asked looking as if she would either cry or fly into a fit of rage, John could not tell for sure which. 

“I’m sorry,” John frowned. “I thought you just wanted to play. I didn’t intend to hurt or frustrate you,” he reached across the island countertop taking hold of her now clenched fist. “Forgive me?” he looked at her with pleading in his eyes. 

“With that look on your face? Of course I forgive you. We clearly both know how to get under each other’s skin. What happened between us this morning, do you think it was some sort of power struggle?” 

“Perhaps. I do quite enjoy it, though, when you keep me motivated and on my toes. I wouldn’t expect anything less from my equal. I’ve already told you that you are my greatest weakness. No one, not even Admiral Marcus or Dr. Zineeri, has ever had the power that you have over me. I know that I’ve mentioned this before, but darling, your voice, your scent, your touch, the very sight of you can drive me mad and even faint with need,” his baritone voice dropped low as he gently caressed her hand. 

“Knowing you are such a dominant man and having experienced a taste of your heightened senses when you injected me with your blood, I can truly appreciate how that must make you feel. I still find it difficult to understand how you control yourself with me.” 

“I sometimes lose a little control. I did when we were on the shuttle at Yosemite.” 

“I didn’t mind. Given the mind shattering orgasm I had, I found it rather enjoyable, and you were still mindful as to whether you were hurting me or bringing me pleasure. We should probably avoid rough sex like that, though, once I get into my third trimester,” she noted. “Anyways, I will try to be a little more conscious and understanding of how my actions effect you, and along the same vein, I will also try to be more responsible with the power that I wield over you,” she kissed the back of his hand. 

“Shall I bake your cake now?” he asked with a slight twinkle in his eye as they had come to yet another new understanding with one another. 

“Make it so, Mr. Harrison,” she smiled and sat back on her stool crossing her arms with authority. 

“Aye, sir,” he cracked a smile and commenced in measuring the necessary ingredients for the cake. 

As John later mixed the batter in a large bowl, Catherine suddenly noted, “You’ve changed, John.” 

“In what way? Not for the bad I hope.” 

“No, not in a bad way. You were so arrogant when we first met. For a brief time, I think that I might even have hated you a little bit for your arrogance and the way you treated me. I do at times actually kind of miss your blatant arrogance, but I think that it is still there just under the surface ready to emerge when needed.” 

“Perhaps it is now not arrogance but confidence in myself and in you. I was a rather arrogant fool when we first met, though, wasn’t I? Unfortunately, it was my arrogance that led to the demise of myself as Khan in the other version of our timeline. I feel as if the recent events of our lives have humbled me, but at this moment I feel quiet confidence in our superior abilities. Want to taste test this?” he held out his batter covered spoon. 

“Sure,” she opened her mouth to sample the chocolate cake batter. “As long as it bakes alright, I think your birthday cake endeavor will prove to be successful. It tastes just right.” 

“Well, if it doesn’t turn out, your mother has a back up cake ready,” he chuckled and blushed slightly with his admission. “I’ve been consulting her quite a bit to prepare for today.” 

“Plotting against me with my own mother now, are you?” Catherine wriggled off her stool and walked around to stand beside him. 

“No, but this might be considered to be plotting against you,” John grinned and dipped his finger in the batter before smearing it on the tip of her nose and over her lips. 

“John!” she gaped feeling flummoxed at his behavior as he licked the batter off his fingertip. 

“Here, let me clean you up,” he leaned forward lightly licking the tip of her nose before kissing her deeply being sure to lap all of the batter off her lips. “Mmm, tastes perfect. Feel better?” 

“I think that it will hold me over until later. Let’s get this batter into the pan and into the oven. If your icing is just as good, perhaps you should save some for this evening.” 

“I like your way of thinking, Imzadi,” he looked at her with clear desire in his eyes. 

After John got the cake into the oven and baking, he set about going over the checklist that he created to prepare for their gathering. Catherine had already started putting up a few decorations and cleaning up the remaining messes from their move when she walked into the living room where he currently sat in a chair reading the list on his PADD. She paused and did a double take upon noting an unexpected difference in his appearance. “John?” 

“Yes?” he looked up from the PADD. 

“I’ve clearly missed something. Since when did you start wearing glasses?” she arched her brow noting the thick, dark-rimmed glasses perched on his nose. 

“Since several days ago. Dr. McCoy gave them to me,” he replied. She could sense him becoming anxious. 

“But we have many methods of correcting vision other than glasses now. Although,” she paused and took a moment to admire his new look a bit before concluding, “they do suit you quite well. Why did Leonard prescribe glasses?” 

“It is just temporary. While studying and preparing for my upcoming classes at the academy, I started to note blurred vision and mild headaches. A few days ago when checking in with him, I reported my difficulties, and Dr. McCoy noted a mild visual deficit and changes in my brain tissue that he had missed previously on his scans. He feels the problems are likely residual from when Dr. Zineeri blinded me. He prescribed some medication to help boost my recovery, and he already has noted great improvement with my visual acuity and reversal of the negative changes in the visual cortex of my brain. He wants me to wear glasses particularly when reading to help alleviate strain which was contributing to the headaches. Apparently these are from his antique collection and they just happened to be the right prescription strength. You’re not upset with me for not telling you about it, are you?” John asked nervously as he took off the glasses and hooked them onto the collar of his shirt. “I know you want me to come to you when something is wrong.” 

“No, I’m not upset. A little surprised, but not upset.” 

“I wasn’t all that worried about it, so I did not really feel the need to worry you with it,” he explained. “Sorry.” 

“No, it’s fine,” she smiled and reassured him. “If you and Leonard are not concerned, then I’m not either. Thank you for trying to spare me from getting myself worked up over something seemingly trivial. I do tend to worry too much over you sometimes.” 

“Sometimes?” 

“Fine, always!” she ran her fingers through his hair. “So, how’s your checklist coming along?” she carefully sat herself on his lap. 

“It’s coming along just fine, thank you,” John turned off his PADD lest she see his list. 

“Are you nervous about starting classes at the academy on Monday?” she changed the subject knowing he would not let her in on his plans for the day. 

“I am certainly not concerned about my academic abilities. I am, however, admittedly worried about what my classmates will think of me. Having been one of the main headlines in just about all the media outlets since February, they’ll all know who I am and what I’ve done.” 

“Then despite the publicity surrounding us and the outcome of our trial, you’ll just have to prove them wrong. I suppose we both will,” she sighed. “Anyways, I almost forgot! I received notification from Admiral Morrow that Starfleet is seriously reconsidering their current regulations in regards to Betazoids and our use of our psionic abilities while on duty. They may still restrict us in that we may only be able to use them under certain circumstances, but that is still a step in the right direction.” 

_“That it is,”_ he agreed as he began communicating to her telepathically to emphasize his own appreciation for her ability and Betazoid heritage. _“I will continue to support you in your efforts to reverse the current regulations.”_

_“I also spoke with my academic advisor. After this summer semester, I am going to put my counseling studies on hiatus. It only makes sense as the baby will be arriving soon, and I will need to direct all my energies to her care. By next summer, we will probably be onboard the_ Enterprise _, and I can resume my studies through correspondence while there. Leonard is more than qualified to proctor me as needed and to direct my clinical practice. Besides, they did notify me that I am still permitted to practice as a nurse as, outside of forming an intimate relationship with a patient, I did not break any other nursing codes or commit anything medically unethical.”_

_“Are you sure this is what you want to do? We can find someone to help care for our daughter so that you can continue at the academy.”_

_“No, I’m sure this is what I want. I’m in no hurry to become a counselor, and I’m so excited for our little one to arrive. All I want is to be with her and to support you. I’m going to be plenty busy as it is and doubt that I will be bored, but if I need something to do, I’m sure Luke or Leonard will let me help out in their clinics.”_

_“Speaking of classes and our little one, we aren’t exactly as prepared as we should be for her arrival. I took it upon myself to enroll us in a private prenatal and childbirth class at the academy for expectant parents. I hope you don’t mind,”_ he played with her hair. 

_“John,”_ she felt tears gathering in her eyes. 

_“Did I do something wrong?”_  

_“No, not at all,”_ she wiped away a tear that rolled down her cheek and smiled. _“I’m just a bit surprised and probably a bit hormonal on top of it all. Thank you. You are truly devoted to us both.”_

_“On the side, I’ve been reading up on fetal and child development. I feel like we’ve been neglecting this area, but now that our situation has improved, I think we need to put our focus on preparing for her arrival. It was only logical that we learn all there is to know about her upcoming birth especially as we do not know for sure when you may go into labor.”_

_“Leonard says that she is definitely ahead of schedule. She’s growing so quickly that my body is having a hard time keeping up with her size,”_ Catherine frowned and lifted her shirt to show him her belly. _“I look like a watermelon with these horrid stretch marks.”_

_“You look beautiful just the way you are and the deep purple color will fade. Consider them your battle scars.”_

_“Anyways, I am glad that you can be with me and coach me during labor and delivery.”_

_“It will be my honor to assist you in birthing our daughter,”_ he smiled. 

The time for their birthday celebration had finally arrived, and their guests soon began to file inside their new abode. John felt particularly warmed seeing all those that assisted them coming to share in celebrating a happy event rather than being there to get them out of trouble. As he and Catherine conversed with her mother, he suddenly frowned as he saw Captain Kirk come in the front door behind Dr. McCoy. 

“Who invited him?” he growled lowly. 

“I did,” Kestra smiled. “I invited that little Carol Marcus to come, too, but I suppose she wasn’t able to make it.” 

_“Mother!”_ Catherine scolded as John squeezed her hand tightly with anger. 

_“What is it, little one?”_

_“John doesn’t particularly like Captain Kirk, and from the trial, you know full well what the captain and Dr. Marcus each did to us.”_

_“If you are both as superior as you two walk around saying you are, then prove it to everyone else including Jim Kirk and Carol Marcus. They’re just as human as you and John, and humans make mistakes. Forgive them and at least try to be civil, because if you don’t, the bitterness will eat you both alive from the inside out,”_ Kestra warned her. 

_“Fine, I’ll try,”_ Catherine huffed and rubbed the bridge of her nose. _“I’ll encourage John to do so as well.”_

_“Good girl,”_ Kestra smiled. 

“We should greet our newly arrived guests, John,” Catherine gently tugged on his sleeve with her free hand. _“I know you’re not happy, but please, try to be nice.”_

_“Only because you ask it of me,”_ he sighed and let her lead him towards where Dr. McCoy and Captain Kirk were standing and conversing with Dr. Smith and his girlfriend Sarah. 

“Hello, Leonard, Captain Kirk,” Catherine smiled upon reaching the group. “Thank you for coming. Commander Spock and Lieutenant Uhura not feeling up to joining us today?” 

“Despite softening up quite a bit lately and embracing his human half, Spock still does not really enjoy socializing all that much. We’re working on it, though,” he winked. “Uhura’s feeling a little under the weather, but she sends her best regards and wishes to you both,” Dr. McCoy explained. 

“Thank you for inviting us, and please, we’re off duty. You can call me ‘Jim’ if you like,” Kirk insisted. “Happy birthday to you both, by the way.” 

“How are the glasses working out for you?” Dr. McCoy asked John. 

“They have greatly helped. Catherine rather likes them on me. I think she will be somewhat disappointed when I will no longer need them,” John managed to crack a smile. 

“Anyways, part of the reason we invited you was to thank you for everything you have done to help us. The three of us wouldn’t be here today without your aid,” Catherine patted her baby bump. “Thank you,” she suddenly gave Dr. McCoy a hug taking him by surprise 

“Khan, wanna go for a drink sometime?” Kirk suddenly asked John as Catherine released Dr. McCoy from her embrace. 

“What?” John arched his brow. 

“I just thought that maybe you would like to go to the bar and get a drink with me and some of the guys. It’ll be on me. It’s not much, but you did kind of save my life even though I was a complete and total jackass. Also, it would give you the opportunity to meet some of your future shipmates. You already know Spock, Scotty, and Bones, but you haven’t met Sulu or Chekov. If you don’t want to go, I completely understand.” 

John blinked his eyes rapidly and hesitated as the gears of his mind went whirring trying to decide what to do. 

_“Go, John. It’ll be good for you. I want you to go,”_ Catherine encouraged him. _“I’ll invite Jan over to keep me company so we can catch up with each other.”_  

“When and where shall we meet?” John finally asked. 

“I was thinking next Friday night. I’ll send you the information to your PADD if that’s okay with you,” Kirk suggested. 

“Agreed,” John nodded. 

Much to John’s relief, a small girl’s voice suddenly cried out, “Mr. John!” before he felt a thud and small body wrapping around his legs. 

“Miss Lucy,” he looked down and smiled at the little girl who was sitting on the floor hugging his legs. Effortlessly prying himself from her grip, he knelt down to her level, “How are you feeling?” 

“I feel good. I miss my daddy, but I know that he’d be happy that I’m all better,” Lucy noted. “Besides, you are so strong, and I know that you will always help to look out for me! Happy birthday!” she stood up, wrapped her small arms around his neck, and kissed him on the cheek. “Me and mummy got you and Miss Catherine presents, but you can’t open them until after we have cake and ice cream.” 

“Okay, we won’t open them until after the cake. I promise,” John smiled. 

“Good! I’m going to go see what yummy food there is to eat!” 

“Go ahead, Miss Lucy,” he patted her on the back before she ran off to do said activity. John then joined Catherine who was speaking with Rima. 

“You’re so good with her, John,” Rima smiled. “I suppose, though, in a way, you are both connected to each other. Your blood runs through her veins. Your very life essence brought her back to us. She misses Thomas. We both do, but we’re going to be just fine. You’re going to be an excellent father,” she patted Catherine’s tummy. 

“Our little one seems to like all the attention she’s getting this afternoon,” Catherine laughed as the baby kicked happily away inside her womb. 

“Like, I’ve said before, if you need anything, we will do what we can to help,” John nodded. 

“Enough about us! Happy birthday to you both!” Rima pulled them both into an embrace somewhat surprising John. “Go ahead and mingle with your guests. Today is about you,” she smiled and shooed them away. 

After the couple spent a brief time greeting the others that had arrived including but not limited to Marla and Janice, Kestra started clanging on her wine glass to get everyone to quiet down. Once she had everyone’s attention, she started to speak. “Thank you everyone for coming to celebrate with us today. We certainly have much to be grateful for and to be happy about. For a while, I admittedly thought that I was going to lose my daughter,” she winced causing John to frown. “Instead, I got my daughter back, and in the process, I gained a most beloved son and will soon have a granddaughter as well,” Kestra beamed. “I couldn’t be more happy or more blessed. I know that John has a few words that he would like to say. I don’t want to take away from that, but I must at least thank you all from the very bottom of my heart for everything you did and said to help my little ones. It would have broken my heart to lose either one of them, and now they are here safe and sound. Thank you!” she squeaked out before breaking down in tears. Sensing John was about to rush to her side to comfort her, she assured him, _“No, little warrior, do not worry about me. Go on and give your speech.”_

_“Very well,”_ John sighed nervously. 

_“You’re going to do fine, Imzadi,”_ Catherine patted him on his back. 

John sighed and picked up his PADD. Slipping on his glasses and noting everyone staring at him, he felt a little embarrassed and cursed under his breath, “Damn it.” 

_“I know it’s been almost 300 years since you’ve had to do something like this, but it will come back to you. You were bred for this,”_ she reassured him further. 

Nodding, John swallowed hard, glanced briefly at his PADD, took off his glasses, and began: “As my mother-in-law previously stated, thank you for coming today to spend time with us in celebrating not only the day of my beloved wife’s birth but also the outcome of our trial and various tribulations. If you had met me in the 1990s when I was known to most merely as Khan, you would not likely have recognized me, and I do not mean simply in terms of appearance. I was no doubt one of the most arrogant, headstrong, pompous men to walk the face of the earth. 

“Being an Augment, I, of course, was bred and reared to be that way. The only sentiment that I had for the most part was for other Augments such as myself, and even then during the last two or three years of my reign, I was afraid to let in even my own sister and nephew into my life out of fear that our enemies might sway them in order to seek my demise. I was cold, calculating, controlling, and trusted hardly anyone. Ever since the death of my mother when I was taken in only to be abused and used by my scientist caretakers, I vowed never to trust humans. Sure, I cared for the humans under my rule and grieved for those that suffered needlessly, but I must wonder at times if it was probably only as a typical paternalistic dictator would. 

“Regardless, when we found ourselves defeated, I was humbled although I did not admit it at the time. True to my Augment nature, I merely vowed that we would persevere and find a new place to call our home. At the time as I put each and every one of my people into cryostasis, I came to realize that those who followed me onto the _Botany Bay_ were truly like family and that, although I kept them at a distance, I had come to love each and every one of them. I never imagined that I would awaken to a nightmare nearly 300 years in the future. My worst fears became a reality when Admiral Marcus and Dr. Zineeri discovered us. They saw into my heart and preyed upon the love that I had for those that put their trust in me to lead them to safety and prosperity. I never felt so alone. Just as I began to truly despair and vowed never to trust humanity again, I was forced back into cryostasis by Marcus only to be awakened into what felt like a pleasant dream, meeting my Catherine, mixed into the nightmare. 

“Catherine was the first to help me to trust humans again, and with her help, I came to trust all of you to some extent. Some of you have broken that trust, but you have also stepped out in good faith to try to repair what has been broken,” he glanced briefly at Captain Kirk. “I have done unspeakable things both in my distant and recent past, and some of you have had to bear the weight of what I have done on your shoulders. Yet, when we needed it the most, you all willingly came to our assistance. It is often difficult for me to express what I am feeling in words, but I am going to try,” he managed to smile. “Catherine, you have saved my life in more ways than one. You have given me a family, parents, and soon a child of my very own. You taught me to trust and to love and have brought out emotions in me that I did not think that I could possibly feel. You will always have my heart. I only ask that you take care of it, for you know that if broken I will become a dangerous, reckless man. I cannot even begin to thank you, Imzadi,” John kissed her tenderly. 

“You’re welcome,” she whispered in his ear before hugging him briefly. 

“Kestra and Dylan, mum and dad, you accepted me just as I was from the very moment you met me despite the fact that I endangered Catherine and got her in quite a lot of trouble with Starfleet and the Federation. I never really had parents, but I feel like I belong to you both now. Mum, you in particular deserve my gratitude for all of your words of encouragement. You have also greatly helped me understand my feelings and have helped bring me closer to Catherine. Thank you,” John kissed Kestra on the cheek and hugged her before shaking Dylan’s hand. 

“My little warrior, how far you’ve come,” Kestra smiled and wiped away a stray tear. 

“Dr. Smith, thank you for looking after my family and also after Catherine during my brief absence. Thank you for looking after me when I was at one of my weakest points with those never-ending headaches I experienced while infected with the Ceti eel larvae. Thank you for keeping my identity a secret, and thank you for all you did to testify on our behalf. I am sorry for the injuries you sustained as a result of my activities against Section 31, and it is my hope that perhaps someday you, Dr. McCoy, and I can find a way to use my blood to help you to heal,” John continued. 

“If asked of me, I would do it all again,” Dr. Smith tapped his cane on the floor and winked. “You’re my friends.” 

“Miss McGivers, Marla,” John tenderly called her by her first name feeling a bit more affection for her having learned of their relationship in the other version of their lives, “thank you for your extensive research and expertise. Without your assistance, the truth about what truly happened during my life and the Eugenics Wars may not have been revealed. You have helped to dismiss almost 300 years of misinformation and lies about my people and me. For that, you are a superior woman, and I thank you.” 

“It was my honor, Khan,” Marla blushed causing John to smile. 

“Janice,” John looked to the blonde yeoman, “thank you for being there for Catherine when she needed it the most upon her arrival on the _Enterprise_. I cannot even begin to imagine the emotional state she was in when she managed to find you. You helped hold her together long enough until we could be reunited again. Thank you for being such a good friend to her.” 

“She will always be one of my dearest friends, and I am happy that you will both be joining us on the _Enterprise_ ,” Janice smiled. 

“Rima, Miss Lucy,” John’s countenance grew somewhat saddened, “of those gathered here today, you both perhaps have had the most difficult burden to bear because of me. Thank you for speaking on our behalf and for having the strength to forgive me even though I still struggle to forgive myself for the pain that I have caused you.” 

“Thank you for saving Lucy’s life, John. She wouldn’t be here right now without you,” Rima hugged her daughter tightly. 

“Dr. McCoy, you have become not only my trusted physician but also a friend. I feel that I can truly trust you with my health, both mental and physical. I thank you for the care that you have shown to both Catherine and me. You helped to save both of our lives, actually, all three of our lives,” John reverently regarded Catherine’s swollen abdomen. “I thank you for the information you provided about the Ceti eel and its larvae as it helped to demonstrate that I was not in complete control of my actions. Speaking of research, Miss McGivers found some information that should be of interest to you. When my people and I escaped on the _Botany Bay_ , one of the human scientists, Dr. McKay, assisted us. Miss McGivers was somehow able to track his movements. After my escape, he slipped out of what remained of the Great Khanate back to the United States to his home in the Deep South. McKay was an alias. His true surname was McCoy, and he was apparently one of your ancestors,” John explained. 

“Well, I’ll be damned,” Dr. McCoy smiled. “We McCoy’s have helped to save your hide on more than one occasion.” 

“I’d imagine your ancestor had just as much gumption as you do,” John laughed. “I know that they are not here today, and we will be sure to convey to them our thanks personally, but I feel it important to mention my gratitude also to Lieutenant Uhura and Commander Spock. Lieutenant Uhura showed us both empathy and kindness and assisted in securing for us much more comfortable and private quarters during our internment here in San Francisco. Mr. Spock was pivotal in providing information for our defense through his mind melds with us and by providing testimony on the witness stand.” 

_“I think you’re forgetting someone else, dear,”_ Catherine dipped her hand and pinched his backside very hard causing him to shoot her a look of frustration. 

_“Who?”_

_“Captain Kirk. Go on. You know he helped us despite you both trying to screw each other over.”_

_“Fuck,”_ he sighed. _“Fine!”_  

_“I’ve turned you into a potty mouth,”_ she nearly snorted. _“I’ll have to punish you later.”_

_“It’s bad enough you convinced me to go socialize with him. Isn’t it punishment enough that I’m going to have to spend five entire years under his command? Five years! His command, Catherine! He’s going to hold everything I’ve done wrong over my head. It’s my fault that the man he considered to be his father, Admiral Pike, is dead.”_

_“John, we’ll discuss this later. Now thank him!”_ she pinched his backside again even harder causing John to wonder if she might have possibly even left a black and blue mark on his usually pristine alabaster skin. 

“Last, but not least, I thank Captain Kirk for seeking to help us and uphold justice. Your outbursts during our trial proved to be,” John paused struggling to find the right words to say, “quite enlightening.” 

“Yes, captain, thank you for speaking on our behalf,” Catherine quickly added. 

“You’re welcome,” Kirk nervously rubbed the back of his neck. “Besides, I wouldn’t be alive right now if it weren’t for Khan’s quick thinking.” 

“Well, John, that was quite lovely of you to thank all of us,” Kestra gave him another hug.  Knowing how difficult it was for him to speak so candidly and bare his soul to those present and sensing him growing upset, she quickly changed the subject, “I think that it is time for some birthday cake!” 

“Birthday cake! Finally! It’s what I’ve been waiting for all day!” Lucy cheered causing everyone in the room to smile and laugh. 

“Blow out the candles with me?” Catherine leaned up and whispered in John’s ear as everyone started to gather round closer to both of them to sing. “It’s supposed to be your birthday, too.” 

“Okay,” John agreed as Kestra lit the candles and the group began to sing to them. 

_“Don’t forget to make a wish when we blow out the candles, and you can’t tell anyone your wish,”_ she advised. 

_“Why is that?”_

_“They say that if you tell, your wish won’t come true.”_

_“I see,”_ he nodded with understanding 

_“Make a wish, John,”_ Catherine smiled. 

_“I’m wishing,”_ he winked before they blew out the candles in unison. 

Not much later, the pair sat huddled together in the kitchen eating their pieces of the birthday cake John had made earlier that day. “This turned out wonderfully, Imzadi. The icing is particularly good,” Catherine teased. 

“Too bad that I had just enough for the cake,” John feigned pouting. 

“Aww, really?” 

“Yes, my dear, it’s true, but we won’t need chocolate icing for what I have in mind later anyways.” 

_“I look forward to it,”_ she stole a quick kiss before returning to her cake. 

_“Besides, I prefer the taste of you over chocolate any day,”_ he quipped causing her to start to choke on some cake crumbs. “Here,” he patted her back and handed her a glass of water. “Are you okay?” 

“You devil,” she playfully batted at him once she regained her breath.

After everyone had a chance to finish their cake and ice cream, Janice came over to the couple. “Happy birthday, you two!” she hugged Catherine. “It’s time for you to open your gifts, but I need to explain something so that you’re not disappointed in the lack of number of them. Most of us guests have been in touch with one another, and the majority of us decided to give you an alternative gift. You have a little girl on the way, and before you know it, she’ll be here. Right?” 

“Yes?” Catherine arched her brow. 

“Where is she going to sleep? What is she going to wear?” Janice continued. 

“Oh dear, we haven’t exactly thought about that, have we, John?” she frowned. 

“You might not have, but I did,” his face lit up. “Surprise, Catherine.” 

“You were in on it, too?” 

“Of course, I was, Imzadi. I may not have the wealth I once did, but I will see to it that I can at least provide for my little family’s basic needs,” he caressed her cheek. 

“When the time gets closer for her to arrive, we’re going to have a baby shower for you. A non-traditional one in that it isn’t going to be only for women and there won’t be any of those silly games, but still, it’s what we all want to do,” Janice explained. 

“What an excellent idea!” Catherine pulled Janice back into a hug. 

“It was mostly John’s idea,” Janice noted. “I just helped organize it.” 

“Come on, there’s more in store for you,” John scooted off his stool and helped Catherine to her feet before pulling her back to the main living area where everyone was gathered. 

Catherine and John opened the several small gifts that some of their guests and her parents brought to the party. The two pictures the Harewoods gave to them particularly touched their hearts: one was a framed picture that Lucy had drawn of the Harrisons, and the other was a framed photograph of Lucy at a recent trip to the beach. After opening the gifts that their guests had brought, John insisted that Catherine open the gift that he had gotten for her. 

“Go on, open it,” he urged her on as she untied the bow around a small box and began to rip off the wrapping paper. 

“What could you have possibly managed to get me?” Catherine asked as she uncovered a small black box. “John?” 

“Yes?” he asked from his new position down on one knee. 

Catherine flipped open the lid of the small black box and gasped as she beheld a diamond studded ring, “Imzadi.” 

“I know that you have said before that it did not matter that our engagement and marriage were not traditional or conventional. You even said that you did not mind not having wedding rings. You, however, recently asked me to marry you, and I did accept. So, I would like to know, Catherine Harrison, in the upcoming months, would you do me the honor of renewing our vows of eternal love properly in front of all those that we hold most dear as our witnesses?” John asked gently taking her hand. 

“Of course, John!” she replied and began to cry as he slipped the ring on her finger. “Come here,” she pulled him to stand and embraced him tightly. 

“Little warrior, kiss her already!” Kestra beamed as John passionately kissed Catherine causing the room to erupt in cheers. 

“I have something for you, too!” Catherine finally pulled away and ran to grab a small wrapped package. “Happy birthday, John!” she beamed as she handed him the gift. 

“Catherine, you didn’t have to get me anything,” he hesitated but began to unwrap the gift upon seeing the excitement in her eyes. Opening the small cardboard box, John pulled out a key. “To what does this key belong?” 

“Come with me, son,” Dylan smiled and motioned for John to follow him. He led John outside of the apartment building that housed the Harrisons’ new home, and everyone else followed not far behind curious to see what the surprise was. John’s eyes went wide upon seeing a car parked beside the curb. 

“Is that for me?” John managed to ask as his mouth went somewhat dry. 

“It’s all for you,” Catherine took his hand. 

“But how?” 

“It was my brother Robert’s. With his death, it became mine, but I honestly know nothing about antique cars. It’s from after your time era. It’s a 2014 Jaguar XKR convertible, but I figure that you’d still like it. I’m sure you’ll appreciate it more than I do. It’s just been sitting in a garage back home in Pittsburgh,” Dylan explained. “Catherine told me about how much you said that you enjoyed driving. It’s going to need a lot of work to get it running again, but I have no doubt that you’ll have it back in top condition in no time.” 

“Mr. Troi, I mean, dad, thank you,” John held out his hand to shake his father-in-law’s hand. 

Dylan shook his hand but could no longer contain himself and pulled John into a tight embrace, “You’re welcome, son. Happy birthday!” 

_“Too bad it doesn’t run yet. I was hoping that you could take me for a ride,”_ Catherine hugged John as their guests made their way back inside leaving them alone outside. 

_“I fully intend to take you for a ride, but not in this car,”_ John kissed her on the neck. _“Let’s try to wrap up this party. I’m not sure how much longer I can wait!”_  

Much to their relief, John and Catherine’s party guests gradually started to file out of their flat after they had finished with their gifts. Of course, her parents were the last to leave as her mother was hovering over them both. Although Catherine knew Kestra had good intentions, she could sense John growing frustrated. 

“You look tired, little one. Are you sure you don’t need help with anything else?” Kestra asked as Catherine tried to coax her parents out the door. 

“We’re fine, mother. We’ll clean up the mess later. John really enjoyed himself. Thank you for helping to make his first birthday celebration special,” Catherine hugged her mother and father. 

“You’re welcome, sweetheart. Come on, Kestra, let’s give them some time alone,” Dylan walked out the door. 

“Let me tell John goodbye first!” Kestra shouted before running back to the living room where John sat wearing his glasses reading his PADD trying to distract himself. 

“Mum?” John asked noting her presence. 

“I just came to tell you goodbye. Come here,” Kestra held out her arms for a hug. John obliged and stood up allowing her to embrace him tightly. “Did you have a good day?” 

“Yes, it was very nice. Thank you,” he couldn’t help but smile at her affection and concern for him. 

“Good, I’m glad. I am so proud of you for what you did this afternoon. I know that it was not easy for you to thank everyone like that or to let yourself appear so vulnerable. Oh well, looks like we have a vow renewal ceremony to plan. My little girl is in good hands. Have a good evening, little warrior,” she winked before releasing him and leaving. 

“Are they gone?” John whispered impatiently when Catherine walked into the room. 

“Yes!” 

“Finally!” he sighed and looked at her over the rim of his glasses with his eyes full of need. “I know that you could not help it, but I could smell your arousal all afternoon.” 

“I know, darling. I’m sorry, but I do fully plan to make up for it,” she gently took off his glasses causing him to let out a shaky breath. 

“What were you planning?” he managed to ask. 

“Take off your shirt,” she ordered. 

His hands nearly trembling, John fumbled and quickly pulled off his simple long-sleeved shirt. Catherine stood simply admiring his physique inadvertently painfully drawing things out further for John until he breathily pleaded, “Catherine, please. Please touch me.” 

“Let me control this?” 

“Anything, just please do something.” 

Catherine smiled and launched herself into his arms thoroughly kissing him on the lips before trailing her kisses down his neck to his chest. Pausing to reverently place a kiss over the scar on his chest from his gunshot wound, she then, to his surprise, began lapping at one of his nipples while her hands made short work of undoing the fastenings on his trousers. She then, getting on her knees, continued to trail her kisses down his abdomen, and upon reaching the waistband of his trousers, roughly pulled down his trousers and pants in one fell swoop. She stopped and leaned back slightly to enjoy the view, “Beautiful, John.” 

“Imzadi, don’t make me beg,” he looked down at her as erection bobbed about helplessly. 

Nodding with understanding, Catherine resumed her trail of hot kisses down his abdomen, and, after avoiding the one spot he was dying for her to touch, she finally took him into her mouth causing him to jerk his hips forward with a slight yelp escaping his lips. Having excellent sexual stamina and usually able to control himself, John this time quickly succumbed and came in her throat not long after she began massaging his testicles. As John gasped with ragged breaths, Catherine smiled resting her head tenderly on his hip as she massaged his backside. Feeling his long fingers gently tangling into her hair, she looked up and took the free hand that he offered to help hoist her off the floor. 

“Feeling better?” she nuzzled into his chest as he held her tightly and kissed her forehead. 

“Infinitely,” he rumbled. “Are you ready for round two?” 

“Actually, if this is enough to hold you over for now, I’d like to take a nap first, get a small bite to eat, and then resume our activities. Like I said earlier, my body is starting to have a hard time keeping up with our little one,” she admitted her fatigue. 

“May I lay with you?” 

“You want to cuddle?” she giggled as he nodded. “Pull up your pants lest you trip over them.” 

Later that evening after they had christened multiple surfaces of their new flat, as they lay in bed together both feeling satiated, John whispered a mixture of sweet-nothings and filthy things in Catherine’s ear causing her to blush and laugh. John wrapped his arms and legs around her pulling her even closer holding her tightly and began pecking at her neck. “Was it worth the wait, my pet?” he growled in her ear between kisses. 

“Oh yes!” Catherine gasped out as she continued to work on catching her breath still on her way down from her climax. 

“I am glad you enjoyed it as much as I did. We are certainly becoming creative with all the positions we have been using,” he grinned as an alert went off on his PADD that was resting on his nightstand alerting him that someone was attempting to start a comm link with him. 

“What’s that about?” 

“I don’t know. It’s a bit late. Perhaps I should see who is trying to contact me,” he rolled over and picked up the PADD. “It’s Dr. Smith. Should I answer him?” 

“Yes, you probably should,” Catherine rolled onto her back and sat up straight pulling the sheet up to cover herself adequately. “He wouldn’t call us so late if it wasn’t something important.” 

John nodded in agreement and accepted the incoming comm link, “Hello, doctor.” 

“John, Catherine, I’m sorry to bother you,” Dr. Smith blushed and apologized noting them both being in bed in a state of undress, their hair tousled and both covered in sweat. 

“No, it’s okay, Luke,” Catherine insisted. “What do you need? Is something wrong?” 

“It’s Kati,” the young doctor frowned. 

“Kati, no,” John gasped. “What happened? Is she?” 

“No, for now, she’s fine,” he reassured them. “It’s her cryotube that’s the problem. It appears that the circuitry in the coolant system has severely degenerated and is starting to fail. The bioengineers and I cannot do anything about it. The system’s just too old to repair without completely replacing it.” 

“But if she’s left in the cryotube and the coolant system fails, she’ll die. We can’t just leave her in there,” John furrowed his brow. 

“Exactly, and that’s why I needed to contact you. Kati and Luca are being transferred to Starfleet Medical as we speak, and early tomorrow morning, we’re bringing her out of cryostasis by emergency order of the Federation Council. If all goes well, we’ll wake up Luca sometime tomorrow or the day after. Dr. McCoy and I need your help since you are the most familiar with the sequencing that was used, and she’s already vulnerable to complications with the coolant system on the fritz. Catherine, you’re more than welcome to come along to assist as well. So, surprise! Happy birthday, I guess,” Dr. Smith smiled. 

“I don’t know what to say other than to give you my thanks for letting me know, of course.” 

“What time do you want us to be at Starfleet Medical?” Catherine asked. 

“We’re planning on starting at 0700. I’ll see you then. Sleep well,” Dr. Smith signed off as the PADD screen went black once again. 

“John? Are you okay?” Catherine rubbed his neck. “It’s not often that you are speechless.” 

“I’m fine,” he sighed. “I just wasn’t expecting this so soon. I knew that this was going to happen in the upcoming months, but now that it is here and so suddenly, I don’t know what to think. Am I dreaming?” 

“You’re experiencing many mixed emotions,” she leaned her head on his shoulder. 

“Of course, I am elated. We’ve been working towards this moment for so long, and it’s finally coming to fruition. But at the same time, I am anxious. What if something happens to Kati or Luca? What if Kati is angry or upset with me for the decisions that I have made? What if she is disappointed in me and the man that I have become?” 

“I don’t know how close you were or what kind of relationship you and Kati had, but I would hope that even if she is not happy with you or what you have done that she would still love you and want you to be a part of her and Luca’s lives. If she cannot accept you as you are, as hard as it may be for you to do given all you’ve gone through to keep them safe, you might have to let her go, John.” 

“I know, and in the end I just want her to be happy. I suppose, though, that I should not worry about it right now and take things as they come. How do you feel about all of this?” John asked. 

“I also am so happy for you. I’m looking forward to finally meeting them both, but I am nervous, too. I know that you’ve said that your people would accept me as one of their own because they trust you as their leader, but I am still worried that she or the others will hate me for not being an Augment,” Catherine admitted. 

“You have proven yourself to be superior many times over, Imzadi, and I will be sure to tell them all everything you have done to help save their lives. Besides, anyone who has saved the life of Khan Noonien Singh is worthy of praise and admiration.” 

“You really do think that I’ve saved your life, don’t you?” 

“In more ways than one, and I’m sure you will do it many times in the days to come. You know how headstrong and reckless I can be,” he managed to laugh. 

“Kati’s not going to try to break my arm when we wake her, is she?” Catherine teased as she leaned forward and mussed John’s hair even more. 

“I was just having a bad morning. You should have let me sleep!” John groaned. 

“Then get some sleep now, my love,” she gently kissed his jaw line. “Or at least try.” 

“You’re right,” he sighed happily despite the anxiety causing news he had just received. “I love you,” he whispered in the dark after they had once again settled down in the bed. 

“I love you, too.” 

“Happy birthday, Catherine.” 

“Happy birthday, John.”


	40. Some Old Habits Die Hard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I do not know Punjabi at all! Any words in Punjabi used in this chapter, I found doing Internet searches. I have found that like many languages, Punjabi can have multiple words meaning the same thing in English. If you by chance know Punjabi, feel free to correct me! :)
> 
> bhaiṇa – sister  
> bharā - brother  
> patanī – wife  
> patī – husband  
> kaur – princess  
> māsī - aunt  
> bhabi – my brother’s wife  
> māsaṛa – uncle  
> mamī – mother, mummy  
> bhatījā – nephew  
> vita mia – “my life” (Italian term of endearment)
> 
> Listening track selections: "Illumination" by Globus and "Love Can Make You New" by JJ Heller

Sighing quietly, John picked up his PADD off of the nightstand to check the time.  _"0430,"_  he inwardly groaned putting it back as Catherine snuggled into his side.

"Can't sleep, Imzadi?" she sleepily asked having woken up due to his restlessness.

"No."

"I honestly didn't think you would be able to sleep much if at all, but it was worth a try. Really only an Augment male like you would have the physical fortitude to be able to stay awake after as much sex as we had. What time is it?"

"It's 4:30 a.m."

After a short period of silence, Catherine asked, "You and Kati had an argument aboard the  _Botany Bay_  before you put her into cryostasis, didn't you?"

"How did you know?" John frowned as he ran his fingers through his hair.

"Just a guess. It would be understandable for you to be anxious due to the fear of her possibly being angry with you for what you've done, but you became extremely anxious upon realizing that it was time to wake her up. I would think that she would already have to be quite angry with you in order for you to be that worried," she explained.

"For just a guess, you are completely correct."

"How bad was it?"

"As bad as it possibly could be. I hurt her, hurt them both, quite deeply."

"Are you comfortable talking about it?"

"I suppose that it would probably be for the best if I did to get it off my chest," he nodded.

"Want some tea?"

"But you need your rest, and it's rather early, Catherine."

"So? We're going to have to be up in about an hour anyway. I'll go put the kettle on," she wriggled free from his arms, got out of their bed, put on her robe, and made her way to the kitchen.

Shortly afterwards, John, wrapped in a deep burgundy dressing gown, took his place at the small breakfast nook at the one end of their kitchen. "Thank you," he carefully took the steaming hot cup of Darjeeling that Catherine handed to him.

"Whenever you're ready," she scooted next to him on the bench as he cautiously took a sip of tea.

"Upon my impending defeat, the Great Khanate was in an utter state of chaos," John began to recall the sad tale of the Augments' escape. "The day before we left Earth, Chandigarh was just starting to be barraged by American bombers, and the  _Botany Bay_  was already in orbit awaiting our arrival as it was previously launched during the wars. We waited as long as we could for as many of my Augment followers as possible to make it to the rendezvous site. My heart ached knowing that perhaps so many more could have made it to safety if only we could have waited a bit longer. It haunts me even now wondering what may have happened to them. When we started to hear the gunfire and bombs just off in the distance, we decided to launch our rockets. Upon reaching the  _Botany Bay_ , I organized the effort to put my people into cryostasis as quickly and as safely as possible. As you can imagine, some of my people were a bit shell-shocked and in a stupor from what just occurred, others were angry at our defeat. I could see the fear in some of their eyes, but they would never have admitted it to me. We were all full of anxiety, and there was so much tension in the air."

"What led to the argument?" she asked gently rubbing his back.

"Luca was afraid," John explained as tears gathered in his eyes. "He was, he still is, just a little schoolboy, and he was frightened to get into his cryotube. He did not want to be separated from Kati. By this time, almost everyone else was already asleep, and we could not afford to wait around in orbit much longer lest we be discovered and shot down. He was hiding behind his cryotube, and Kati was trying to gently coax him to come out. I lost my patience and my temper. I grabbed him by the shirt, pulled him out of his hiding place, and thoroughly shouted at him. Catherine, I made the child cry! Never in all of his young life did I ever shout at him nor make him cry as I did that night. All he ever did was trust me and look up to me, and I terrified him," he put his face in his hands in shame.

"Shh, it's okay."

"No, it's not okay!" he shouted as he uncovered his face and looked at her with tears streaming down his cheeks. "It's even worse than just that. Kati tried to comfort him, and in my frustration and impatience, I ordered the remaining scientists aiding us to immediately sedate and place him in the cryotube despite her protests."

"I'd imagine this is what led to the argument," Catherine gently wiped the tears off of his cheeks.

"She was understandably livid, and those last few years of me constantly pushing her away certainly fed into her anger. Before that, she never once protested, never once shouted at me despite the hell I'd put them through. She had only ever supported me, her big brother."

" _How could you do that to my child? Your own flesh and blood!" Kati slapped John across the face._

" _We have no time for childish tantrums and fears of the bogeyman! There are much worse things for him to fear, and you damn well know that! We lived through it as children. Do you want him to go through it, too? That's what will happen if they shoot us out of orbit and capture us if we somehow even manage to survive the crash. They will take Luca and do exactly to him what they did to us! He's only half Augment, and he'd never be able to survive it!"_

"John?" Catherine shook his arm to pull him back from his reverie.

"She slapped me, and being an Augment herself, she managed to split my lip in the process. We began arguing about anything and everything that we held against each other for years. By the time we were finished, everyone else was in cryostasis. She was in tears and refused to discuss things any further. She got into her cryotube, and before they sealed the hatch, she called me a cold-hearted bastard."

"How did you respond?"

"I responded in kind. I said, 'You of all people do not need to remind me that I am a bastard. You're no different than me!' She began sobbing and told them to seal the hatch. You may not have noticed it, but she still has a slight sheen to her face where the tears froze on her cheeks. I caused her so much pain with my words. I know it always hurt her that we did not have proper parents growing up. And, although an Augment, she has never been like me. I do not know if it is because she perhaps did not end up with the same base pair malformation like the rest of us Augments, but she was always kinder, gentler. While I always looked after her physically, she, much like you, always looked out for me emotionally. I'm such a fool. What have I done? And now, what should I do?"

"Imzadi, recognizing that you were wrong is a good place to start," she wrapped her arms around him and put her head on his shoulder. "If she is as kind as you say she is and if you show her genuine remorse, I can only hope that she will forgive you. By your own admission in the past, you've done horrid things to me. Have I not forgiven you?"

"Even though I do not deserve it," he agreed.

"I have forgiven you because I love you. Darling, I will be by your side and support you as you work on reconciling with Kati and Luca. Try to relax. Go on and drink your tea. It will help you to feel better," she kissed him on the cheek.

"As you wish."

While John worked on his tea, Catherine made them a small breakfast knowing that he likely did not have much of an appetite as she could sense the disquiet he was feeling deep within his heart. Upon finishing eating her own food and noting John was merely picking at his, she slid out of the breakfast nook, took his hand, and pulled him leading him to the bathroom. After starting up the shower and ensuring the water was warm enough, she gently peeled his dressing gown off of him, disposed of her own robe, and pulled him under the hot spray of water with her.

"Catherine, I just can't right now," John stiffened thinking she wanted to have sex. "I feel so numb."

"No, John, it's okay. It is not my intention to initiate anything sexual," she put a finger softly over his lips.  _"You feel paralyzed with anxiety and grief right now. You don't have to do anything."_

After washing their hair, Catherine took the soap, and having created some lather, gently began washing both her and John's bodies. Reaching up to his neck and shoulders, she deeply massaged the tension out of his muscles before gently rubbing the areas on his neck where she showed him to plex several months ago. Feeling satisfied that some of the pent up anxiety had left his body, she had them both rinse off the remaining soap, turned off the water, and started to dry their bodies with a large towel.

" _Thank you,"_  John took the towel from her hands and wrapped it around her shoulders.

" _Do you trust me?"_

" _You know that I do. With my very life,"_  he held her close.

" _Sit down,"_  she pulled the towel from her shoulders and, after wrapping it around his waist, had him sit on the small bench against the bathroom wall. After putting on her robe to keep warm, she got out John's razor and shaving cream. Applying some of the cream to his face, she gently tilted his head back and shaved him.

" _You did well,"_  he felt his now smooth jaw line before heaving a profound sigh.

" _Tell me. What is it?"_ Catherine sat next to him and held his hand in her lap.

" _Why does it feel like every time I manage to make some progress in regards to my mental and emotional health something must happen to make it feel like I have no clue as to what I am doing?"_ he looked at her with saddened eyes.

" _You may be Augment, but you are still human. I know it frustrates you, nevertheless as I have always said, you simply feel emotions much more deeply than the rest of us. Do not put yourself down, Imzadi. You've made so much progress since we first met. Even mother has noted how far you've come. At least you readily admit that you have deep psychological wounds, and the fact that you can admit that shows just how brave and strong you really are. Some live in denial about such matters until their dying breath. Besides, you've experienced far more in your 30 or so years than some have experienced in a lifetime. Your body may heal quickly from its wounds, but your broken heart cannot heal overnight. Keep fighting, my Khan, for the victory is worth it,"_  she brushed some stray hair from his eyes.

" _I suppose my childhood, the wars, and Section 31 had all psychologically wounded me much more than I ever realized. Before it was always so much easier to feign being fine and to put up barriers to shut people out. Although it is so painful sorting through all of what I've experienced, I suppose it has been worth it, letting others into my life and sharing my heart with them. I have never felt so intimate or so loved with anyone as I feel with you. If I am to face the demons of my past, I am ever so grateful to do it with you at my side. You are worth far more than what I lost in regards to my wealth and power,"_  he managed to crack a weak smile.

"My lonely angel," she smiled back.

"I'm not lonely any longer," he hugged her tightly. "I'm going to go get dressed."

A little later that morning as they rode in a taxi shuttle to Starfleet Medical, John and Catherine quietly discussed the medical details in regards to the plan to reanimate Kati and Luca. It was then that Catherine came to realize just how much medical knowledge John truly had tucked away in his mind.

"Why have you never mentioned just how much you know about medicine?" she arched her brow.

"I know quite a lot about biology and medicine as I was surrounded with it throughout my life from living in the Chrysalis Project compound and from all of the experimentation done on my body, but I have a lot of catching up to do. I have usually kept my mouth shut in regards to such matters as I figured that I'd leave it to the up-to-date professionals such as yourself, Dr. McCoy, and Dr. Smith," John explained. "I know enough modern medicine, though, to get a person out of a bind in the event of an emergency."

"Oh," she nodded. "Well, you're like a sponge, so I'm sure it won't be long until you've soaked up all you need to know. You took quite quickly to my tricorder and basic med kit when we were in London."

"Yes, I did," he agreed.

"Well, here we are," she noted as their taxi pulled over in front of Starfleet Medical. "Try to focus on safely waking her up first. Then you can worry about sorting through the relationship issues afterwards," she squeezed his hand.

Making their way inside, they were greeted by Dr. McCoy who was waiting for them. "Sorry for the short notice, but there was no other way to correct the situation. Bringing her out of cryostasis was the safest option. Luke is waiting upstairs for us in the lab and is preparing for the reanimation process. Come with me," the Southern physician led the way. "From the board of inquiry's investigation, we knew that they almost lost you when those Section 31 bastards woke you up the first time, and Luke filled us in on what happened the second time. We figured that it would be best if you were here to oversee things since you are the most knowledgeable about the technology and the sequencing that was used," he explained to John.

"Thank you for looking out for the health and safety of my loved ones. Having experienced it twice myself, it can be very unnerving coming out of cryostasis besides the risk to one's life. It will be good for them to wake up to a familiar face. Well, mostly familiar face," he thought about his change in appearance.

Upon reaching the lab, John spent a brief moment alone at Kati's side before he began to direct the group in preparing to awaken her. Between the four of them, they were quite efficient and ready to start slightly ahead of schedule. John opened the glass hatch to her cryotube, and after tenderly stroking her hair, which was the same dark color as his own, he directed Catherine to proceed with getting a baseline set of vital signs and starting an IV line. Once ready, Dr. Smith also began running other scans while Dr. McCoy proceeded with administering various medications as instructed by John. Then they began to wait as Kati's body began the gradual process of regaining normal body temperature.

" _Was waking me up much like this?"_  John asked Catherine as she used a tricorder to scan Kati's heart to ensure that her cardiac tissue was getting enough oxygen.

" _Yes, very much so, but hopefully this will go much more smoothly,"_  she winked.

" _I do not know if it is something my mind conjured up, but I think that I was able to hear your voice while you and Dr. Smith were working on me,"_  he admitted. _"Despite what later happened in the process when I unconsciously attacked you and broke your wrist, it was quite comforting and soothing to hear you speak."_

" _Perhaps you should speak to her. It may help to alleviate any fears she may be experiencing if she is starting to regain consciousness at this time,"_  she suggested.

"Bhaiṇa," John quietly spoke in Punjabi as he took her cold hand. "Kati, I'm here. Don't be frightened. We're waking you up, and you're safe now. We all are."

"What does 'bhaiṇa' mean?" Catherine asked after John had fallen silent.

"It is Punjabi for 'sister,'" he explained. "Kati often affectionately refers to me as 'bharā' or 'brother' in our native tongue."

"And what am I to you?"

"You are my Imzadi, my Khanum, of course," he smiled with love in his eyes. "In Punjabi for 'wife,' you are my 'patanī'. I am your 'patī'."

"You're my Khan," she smiled back.

Noting Kati's body temperature was finally getting closer to normal levels and her respiratory and heart rates were starting to speed up, the group reassembled and took their places around her to complete the reanimation process.

"What's wrong? What's happening?" John asked with panic in his voice as alarms on the bio scanners suddenly started to sound.

"Something has disrupted the electrical signals in her brain. She's going into a seizure," Dr. McCoy quickly explained while Dr. Smith drew up some medication in a hypospray.

"John, help me turn her onto her side so that if she vomits anything she does not aspirate it into her lungs," Catherine instructed him as Kati's body began shaking violently. "No need to restrain her. Just provide her body with support to maintain her side-positioning."

John, feeling helpless in not being able to do anything to make the seizure activity stop, obeyed and assisted Catherine with gently turning Kati's trembling body. Finally after Dr. Smith injected her with a couple hyposprays and Dr. McCoy adjusted some settings on their equipment, the seizure stopped and Kati slumped flaccidly in John and Catherine's arms. After ensuring there was no vomit or excessive secretions in her mouth, Catherine directed John to go ahead and let Kati lay flat again.

"Is she going to be alright?" John asked with concern in his voice.

"She seems to have had an electrolyte imbalance which caused the seizure. There should be no long term effects, and she should be stable from here on out," Dr. McCoy reassured him. "Looks like despite the seizure she actually might be starting to come around soon. Do you want to be left alone with her? We can monitor her from the station behind the window."

"I can check on Luca if you want me to stay nearby," Catherine offered.

"That will do," John agreed as the physicians left the immediate area and Catherine took her place next to Luca.

Kati began to stir ever so slightly under John's watch. Her eyes still shut, she groaned a little as she stretched her muscles finding them stiff after being asleep for so long. Finally, she slowly opened her eyes, blinked at the bright light in the room, and took a moment to focus her vision before asking, "Bharā? John? Is that you?"

"Bhaiṇa," John replied nervously. "Yes, I'm here."

"I almost did not recognize you. Why did you cut your hair? Where are we? How long have we been asleep? Where's Luca?" Kati began rapidly asking questions as she tried to sit up to swing her legs over the side of the cryotube. "Oh dear," she put a hand to her head feeling dizzy.

"Lie down, Kati," he insisted. "You just had a seizure and need to take your time to regain your strength. The year is 2259. We're in San Francisco. It's been almost 300 years since you went to sleep. Luca is here in this room still asleep safe and sound in his cryotube. He's right over there," he gestured to where Catherine was standing and currently monitoring Luca with her back to them.

"Who is that and what is she doing?" Kati whispered.

"It's okay. She's a nurse and is making sure that Luca is healthy. Her name is Catherine." John paused and swallowed hard before continuing, "She's my patanī."

"John, really?"

"Yes," he nodded.

"Oh bharā!" she smiled. "Finally! How did you meet?"

"Much has happened," his voice faltered as he tried to hold back his emotions. "There is a great deal to explain. It will take some time."

"Sorry," Kati shrugged her shoulders. "I will try to be patient."

"Kati, I," John struggled to find the words to say.

"What is it? What's wrong?" she squeezed his hand weakly.

"I'm so sorry, Kati," he began to weep. "I'm sorry for everything. I was such a damn fool and hurt you both so much. For over the past year I had to live with how I treated you not knowing if you would live or die."

"Bharā, it's okay. We both said some horrible things to each other that night on the  _Botany Bay_. I forgive you. I want to give you another chance. You're my big brother, my very own flesh and blood. Aside from Luca, you're all that I have left. I only hope that you can forgive yourself," Kati noted as she carefully sat up with John's assistance.

"It is something that I have certainly been working on with Catherine's help. Kati, I want you to know that I truly hope that things between you and I will be quite different now. I'm sorry for pushing you away when all you ever did was support and try to help me. What an arrogant bastard I was," he frowned as his tears continued to flow.

"You were always so, how should I put it, emotionally constipated?" Kati laughed as she cupped his cheeks with her hands wiping away his tears with her thumbs. "I honestly think the last time I can remember seeing you cry was when we were still children. I'm looking forward to learning what has happened to cause such a change in your heart."

"Yes, I certainly have changed, but hopefully for the better."

"Can I have a blanket? I'm still rather cold, and this sports bra and shorts are not helping much."

John smiled with relief and fetched a blanket for her from the blanket warmer. Wrapping it around her shoulders, he asked, "Would you like to meet her?"

"Yes! How exciting!"

"She's not an Augment. She's not much like us at all," he hesitated.

"Neither was Giovanni, and I loved him all the more for it," Kati fondly remembered her deceased husband. "If it doesn't bother you that she's only human, it doesn't bother me. I just want you to be happy."

"Imzadi," John's commanding baritone voice echoed throughout the lab as he beckoned for Catherine to join them.

Finding herself nervous now that she was finally to meet the Augment woman whom also happened to be her sister-in-law, Catherine put down her tricorder and waddled over to join the siblings. "Hello," she latched onto John's arm.

"Kati, this is my beloved, Catherine Mae Singh Harrison," John introduced her. "Catherine, this is Katrina Kaur Singh. As you aware, she is my longsuffering sister."

"John, you didn't mention that she's pregnant!" Kati exclaimed noting Catherine's baby bump. "Is the child yours? You mean that you actually lowered and allowed yourself, the high and mighty Augment Khan, to copulate with a mere human?"

"You said it didn't matter if she was human, and of course the child is mine!" he growled.

"I'm joking! Get a grip! I just find it difficult to comprehend, and I sort of think that it's even a bit humorous, that you have a sex life. For the longest time I thought that you'd die a virgin or that you were perhaps asexual," the Augment woman shook her head. "For a short time I even thought that perhaps you were bisexual or just homosexual. You and Joaquin Weiss were rather close there for a while, and you were devastated when he was injured. I often wondered what you two were up to out in the field."

"Although I am ashamed of it now, I'll have you know that I did bed two women prior to Catherine during my time at university, and I have always been heterosexual," John pouted as Catherine laughed. "Joaquin was only a close friend and my personal bodyguard, not a lover or anything more."

"May I touch your belly?" Kati suddenly asked Catherine.

"Certainly," Catherine smiled.

"Do you know what you're having?"

"We are to have a kaur, a beloved daughter," John beamed.

" _A Kaur?"_ Catherine thought to herself that perhaps their child was to have his mother's surname not knowing that "kaur _"_  also happened to mean "princess."

"Any ideas for a name yet?" Kati continued her curious prodding.

"John is to name her, but he insists that it is to remain a surprise and will not divulge what her name is to be until she is born," she explained as Kati gently rubbed her tummy.

"I'm so excited! You were right, John, much has happened," Kati took John's hand and put it on Catherine's abdomen beside her own.

"Imzadi, why don't you go ahead and continue checking on Luca," John frowned and reluctantly pulled his hand away from her.

" _I understand,"_ she nodded.  _"Just call for me if you need me,"_  she left the siblings alone once again.

After Catherine resumed scanning Luca, Kati leaned in and whispered lowly, "She's beautiful, but what is wrong with her eyes?"

"Nothing. Catherine is human, but not fully human," John explained.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Bhaiṇa, remember when we were children, and I would lie in the field at night looking up at the stars wondering what was out there?" he asked.

"Yes, you always loved to do that," Kati recalled.

"There is so much more out there than either of us could ever have imagined. The things that I have seen within the past year, things of evil and horror, things of utter grace and beauty," he looked at Catherine briefly, "so many frighteningly, wonderful things. Those of us from Earth have never been alone in this galaxy, Kati. There are other beings, other diverse species scattered throughout the galaxy. It has actually made me, the mighty Khan, feel quite small and insignificant."

"You mean to tell me that your patanīis an alien?" she gasped.

"No," John laughed. "Well, yes, I suppose in a sense she is in that she's only half-human. She is half-Betazoid, and they are a humanoid civilization from the planet Betazed. They have such amazing abilities. They are empathic, able to sense another's emotions, and telepathic, able to communicate with others using only their minds. Catherine and I share a deep bond with one another and can communicate telepathically. As I said before, there's so much to explain," he rubbed his neck.

"Then slow down, John. We can take our time. Besides, you cannot explain everything in only a matter of minutes. I'm glad to see that you're no longer alone. I know you would have never admitted to it at the time, but I know you were quite unhappy and lonely during the wars. Regardless, I'm so happy for you," she smiled. "If you two are married, why is her last name Harrison? Do they do things differently now?"

"Her maiden name was Troi. She is a Singh, too."

"Then why is she using Māsī Sharan Singh's maiden name for her married name? Why is she not just a Singh?"

"Again, it is a long story, but in the here and now, I am known as John Harrison," he sighed with a pained look on his face.

Noting his facial expression and the emotional discomfort he was experiencing, Kati decided to drop the issue for the time being and instead asked, "Can I see Luca now? I really want to see my little boy."

"Of course, just let me help you. You might have a little weakness at first," John held out his arms ready to help Kati walk to Luca's cryotube. Kati carefully slid off the side of the open cryotube to John's awaiting arms. Holding onto her ensuring she had her balance, he asked, "Okay?"

"I think I'm ready," she nodded and began taking slow steps towards Luca. After patiently making her way although she wished to run to him, Kati reached her son's side. "My little boy," she smiled. "He hasn't changed a bit all this time."

"He's going to have plenty of catching up to do in terms of school, but I think that it will be good for him. It will certainly keep him out of trouble," John thought aloud.

"I think that he's going to be very disappointed that school still even exists in this era," Kati laughed briefly before suddenly breaking down into tears.

"What's wrong, Kati? Did I do something wrong?" he furrowed his brow.

"Thank you!" she squeezed him tightly. "Thank you for saving us, for saving him. We owe you our lives, and now we have a second chance to hopefully live in peace."

"There isn't anything that I would not do for my family," he gently rubbed her back. "I will explain later, but Catherine is also responsible for saving your lives as well as my own and certainly at great cost to her safety, reputation, and well-being. For that, she is a superior woman. I want you to be a prime example to the others in showing her due respect."

"John, there's no need to order your sister around like that in regards to me," Catherine blushed scolding him quietly. "She's my family now, too, you know, but even if she wasn't, I would have done it anyway."

"Bhabi!" Kati released John and twirled around latching herself onto Catherine. "I do not know how I can ever truly thank you. I am forever indebted to you. Despite how you may feel about it, my brother is right. You do deserve my utmost respect. No Augment women let alone a mere human woman has ever risked anything for me such as you have. I look forward to getting to know you and learning more about what you have done for us. You must truly be special to have swayed the stubborn heart of Khan Noonien Singh," she smiled.

"I do not think that I am that amazing, but I love him and decided to be brave enough to let him know it," Catherine smiled back. "I think that made a world of difference for him."

"It most certainly did," John nodded. "Come, Kati, the doctors will want to examine you to make sure you that you are not experiencing any adverse effects from cryostasis, the seizure, or the reanimation process. Then we can discuss waking up Luca," he led her to a nearby biobed and motioned for one of the physicians to join them.

"Dr. McKay? Is that really you?" Kati stared at Dr. McCoy as he approached them.

"No, it's Dr. McCoy, Leonard H., although I have recently learned that the Dr. McKay that you knew was one of my ancestors," the doctor explained.

"Dr. McCoy is an excellent physician, bhaiṇa. I have surprisingly come to trust him despite our past experiences with men of medicine. He will not harm you and will do nothing without your consent," John reassured her. "He also has saved my life," he briefly pulled up his shirt exposing his chest to show her his gunshot wound scar.

"Despite modern medicine, a mere man would not have survived. It was that close of a call for an Augment like your dear brother here," Dr. McCoy noted. "If you do not mind, I would like to take a sample of your blood. We would like to study your genetics and to also see if your blood holds the same regenerative properties as your brother's."

"Sure, I don't mind," Kati agreed. "A simple blood sample is nothing compared to some of what we went through as children."

"I find what they did to you disgusting and inhumane. While I am certainly curious about Augment physiology, I will never permit or participate in anything like what you experienced. Now, let's see if your body is running up to Augment standards," Dr. McCoy began running various scans.

"I'm sure my brother has set the standard high," she laughed and scrunched her nose.

All being assured that Kati was doing quite well, Catherine obtained some basic clothing for her to wear until they could take her shopping for a proper wardrobe. Having tolerated a simple meal, Kati began to grow eager for them to advance their plans to reanimate Luca. After a thorough discussion, the four involved decided to proceed with awakening the child after lunch. The procedure went as planned with no complications, and they waited patiently for the little boy to regain consciousness.

"We'll wait just outside behind the window," John went to take his leave.

"Don't you want to see him when he wakes up?" Kati furrowed her brow.

"I want you to be the first person he sees, not his grumpy, cruel māsaṛa," he frowned.

"John, you were always a wonderful uncle with Luca," she disagreed.

"You clearly do not remember the events that transpired on the  _Botany Bay_  the night we escaped. I terrified the boy, made him cry."

"I know you did, but you were under so much pressure. He's a child and will easily forgive you if he even manages to remember. Are you sure you want to wait outside?"

"Yes, but I will rejoin you as soon as you've had the opportunity to talk with him first to make sure that he is not frightened of me."

"Fine," Kati shook her head and returned to her son's side while John left the room to join Catherine and the doctors. Soon enough, Luca began rubbing at his eyes. Yawning and looking at his mother, Kati beamed, "Vita mia, Luca!"

"I was so sleepy, mamī!"

"Yes, you certainly were! Come here and give me a hug," she held out her arms. After giving him a hug, Kati began tickling him.

"Oh mamī, stop!" Luca laughed. "Where's Māsaṛa Khan? Did he go back to Chandigarh? Is he still fighting to save us?"

"No, Luca, the fighting is over, and we are safe. Your uncle is here just outside this room," she explained as she ran her fingers through his dark, messy curls. "We've been sleeping for a very long time. A lot has changed, but you shouldn't be afraid. Everyone has been very kind to me so far. I'm hoping that we will like it here."

"Do I have to go to school?"

"Yes!"

"Mamī!" he protested.

"Would you like to see your uncle now?" Kati asked. Luca nodded his head quickly, and Kati motioned for John to come into the room.

"Hello, bhatījā," John nervously smiled upon joining the mother and son. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, Māsaṛa Khan!"

"You do not have to call me that, Luca. I am no longer Khan," he gently explained. "You can call me Māsaṛa John now."

"Mamī says that the war is over. Is it true? You don't have to leave us behind to go fight anymore?" the child asked.

"It is the truth. The war between our kind is over."

"I'm glad that you do not have to fight anymore. Mamī always cried while you were away fighting."

"Kati, did you really cry over me?" John frowned.

"Quite often, yes," Kati nodded with tears in her eyes. "I was so afraid of you getting hurt or even killed especially after the incident in the Ajorra caves when Joaquin Weiss nearly died saving your life. Ever since I was born, you always looked out for me. What would I have done if I had lost you?"

"I'm sorry that you had to bear such a burden alone and that I kept my distance. I should have thought more about how my actions during the wars affected the two of you," John apologized.

"You had the weight of the world upon your shoulders. Millions of lives were hanging in the balance. I could never have possibly asked you to put Luca and me above all those that were depending upon you to bring us peace," she squeezed his hand. "Now, enough of this talk. Today should be a happy day! Besides, Luca needs to meet his new māsī."

"I have an aunt? You found yourself a kaur, Māsaṛa John?" Luca asked his eyes alight with curiosity.

"I found someone even better than a princess, bhatījā. Her name is Catherine. Come, Imzadi," John beamed and signaled for her to join them.

"Māsī Catherine, you're beautiful," Luca sighed in awe. "I'm to have a cousin, too?" he looked at her belly.

"Soon enough, yes, you're going to have a new cousin, Luca," Catherine smiled. "You will help us to look after her?"

"I won't let anyone hurt her!" the boy vowed. "I'll teach her everything I know, too!"

"Good boy," John patted Luca on the back.

"Māsaṛa, must I really go to school?"

"Yes, you must go to school," John answered and joined Catherine and Kati in laughing. "I think, though, that you will like school now as it will be much more of a challenge for such a smart boy as you. Besides, Māsī Catherine and I will also be going to school, and your school is going to be on the same campus as the academy that we will be attending."

"I suppose that I should also go back to school, too," Kati reasoned. "At this rate, I don't want to get left behind!"

"Perhaps until you make some friends, your mamī _,_ māsī, you, and I can all have lunch together each day at school," John suggested. "Would you like that?"

"Well, yes, but only until I have mates of my own to eat with!" the boy insisted.

Although John was reluctant to leave them behind after only just getting them back, Kati and Luca remained at Starfleet Medical for the night so that medical staff could continue to monitor them before proceeding with completing full physical testing the next morning in order to clear them to leave the medical facility.

"I sense that you are feeling great joy and relief, Imzadi," Catherine snuggled up to John in their bed at home late that evening after they left Starfleet Medical. "But you are still a little concerned, aren't you?"

"I just do not want to them to feel overwhelmed, and of course, I'm afraid of how others may treat them upon learning who they are," John explained wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "Regardless, I am quite happy with today's outcome. Problem is where are they going to stay? I do not want them to be far from us, but at the same time, we need our privacy if you know what I mean," he winked.

"Tomorrow night they can stay in our spare room since we haven't transformed it into the nursery yet, and actually, my mother selected this flat knowing that the one right across the hall is empty. With some assistance, she ensured that it was put on hold knowing that within the next few months Kati and Luca would be in need of a home of their own. I know she drives me crazy sometimes, but I love my mother and am glad she had the foresight to do that for us."

"That was very wise and kind of her to do for two people that she has not met yet," John agreed. "I know that I have experienced many horrid things, but recently, I feel that my blessings outweigh the misfortunes. I am a very lucky man to have people that love me unconditionally. Despite my concerns, I think Kati and Luca are in good hands, the same hands that have cared for me."

Everything went as planned, and Kati and Luca were released to leave Starfleet Medical the very next day. They accompanied the Harrisons home to their flat where they were to stay for the night. Kestra and Dylan Troi stopped by to introduce themselves and to offer their help to expedite furnishing their new flat so that they could move across the hall as soon as possible. That Monday since John was starting his classes at Starfleet Academy, Kati and Luca accompanied the Harrisons so that Catherine could give the mother and son a tour of the campus. She showed Luca where he would be attending school and got him registered for the upcoming school year. They then met up with Kestra so she could take the two shopping for clothing and items for their flat. Despite having their own home, Kati and Luca joined their family every evening for supper giving John time to continue explaining all that had happened during the year he had been awake. He always saved the more adult topics and situations for after Luca had fallen asleep on the couch.

Thursday evening as they sat eating while taking in all of his words with awe in their eyes, an alarm on his PADD suddenly went off notifying him of an awaiting message. Picking up the PADD and reading it, he sighed with frustration and ran his fingers through his hair.

"What is it, John?" Catherine asked.

John picked up his PADD and read aloud, "We're meeting at the 602 Club at 2100 tomorrow night. Me and one of the guys will pick you up at your place shortly before that. See you then. Jim Kirk."

"John Harrison, you are going to that bar and you will like it!" Catherine threatened pointing her fork at him and scrunching her eyes.

"Go on and have some fun, bharā! You deserve to have a good time for once! Seriously, you need to learn to lighten up sometimes," Kati joined in pushing him to go.

"Haven't I told you what that man did to me?" John's face grew stern.

"And yet you saved his life anyway. You of all people should know that life is too short to hold grudges, and it sounds like although he's only human that he's being the bigger man. At least he's trying," Kati folded her arms.

"Are you daring to insult me in my own home, bhaiṇa?" John's voice deepened.

"What else is new? Old habits die hard!" she replied before playfully sticking out her tongue at him.

" _Little pitchers have big ears, John. What are our behaviors teaching the next generation?"_  Catherine looked to him with concern in her eyes and then at Luca who was quietly eating his supper and appeared to not be paying attention to the bickering adults in the room.  _"Please try. Try not because of my meaningless threats and me but because of the children. Try for Lucy Harewood, Luca, and our little one."_

John sighed as the room fell quiet with everyone continuing to eat their meals and not wanting to discuss things further. Downing his glass of wine then pouring another and downing it, John wiped his mouth with his napkin and muttered under his breath, "I'll go."

"What did you say?" Kati grinned feeling that this was a battle that she and Catherine had won together.

"In the spirit of peace and goodwill, I will go."

" _Regardless of the outcome of tomorrow night, you won't regret it. I promise,"_ Catherine winked.

" _Are you promising me some kind of reward?"_  he arched is brow.

" _Of course,"_ she grinned as she ran her toes playfully up his pant leg as his eyes began to dilate.  _"But not tonight. Only if you go tomorrow night,"_  she stopped playing with him.

" _You task me, woman,"_ he sulked.

"Kati, would you like to join a couple of my girlfriends and me tomorrow night while John is out with the boys? Luca can sleep in the spare room, and John can carry him across the hall to his bed when it's time for you to go home," Catherine offered.

"I would like that very much. Thank you, bhabi, for inviting us," Kati smiled. "I will thoroughly enjoy telling you embarrassing stories about John from our childhood."

"Katrina," John shot her a threatening look before finding himself unable to stop himself but to smile with the happiness of simply having her back in his life once again.

Friday evening quickly arrived, and John paced quietly in the bedroom while Kati and Catherine prepared some food for their fellow female guests who were about to arrive. Luca, dressed in his pajamas and already up past his bedtime, sleepily walked in on his uncle who was running through potential scenarios in his mind as if he were planning for battle. "Māsaṛa, are you afraid?" the curly haired child innocently asked as he took hold of his large hand.

"Bhatījā? What are you still doing up?" John asked as he knelt down to be on Luca's level.

"Mamī said that I can stay up until Māsī Catherine's friends get here and you leave," Luca explained. "Are you afraid, māsaṛa?"

"Now, why do you ask that?" he tenderly smiled.

"Your hand is all sweaty, and you were pacing like you used to do before you had to leave to go to battle," Luca wiped off the hand that he used to grab onto John's.

"Between you and me, I suppose that I am just a little nervous," John whispered. "You won't tell anyone, will you?"

"No, as long as you won't tell anyone that sometimes I'm still afraid of the dark," Luca whispered back. "I have nightmares."

"It's okay, bhatījā. I have nightmares, too, sometimes."

"Mamī helps me to feel better."

"Catherine helps me to feel better, too. Well, I should get going. Give me a hug?"

"Sure," Luca wrapped his arms around John's neck. "Can you tuck me into bed?"

"Of course," John got off his knees and picked up the boy carrying him to the spare room. "You're such a brave boy, Luca," he pulled the blankets up over Luca's small body. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, māsaṛa."

After tucking Luca into bed in the spare room, John entered the living room to find that Janice Rand and Marla McGivers, who had decided to stay in San Francisco for the time being, had joined Kati and Catherine. The door chime to their flat went off, and Kati got up from her chair, "I'll get it! You stay right here, bhabi." Kati opened the front door to be greeted by two men. "Hello! I'd imagine you're here for my brother. My name is Katrina, but most people call me Kati," she held out her hand.

"Captain James T. Kirk," the captain took her hand and shook it. "You can call me Jim," he grinned.

"Ensign Pavel Andreievich Chekov," the young Russian gently took her hand and kissed the back of it. "It is an honor to meet you."

"Oh, you are so sweet," Kati giggled and blushed slightly. "I'll go fetch John."

"She is beautiful and has vonderful muscles," Chekov noted her toned physique quietly to Kirk once she walked away.

"Love at first sight, Chekov?" Kirk asked.

"Perhaps, sir, perhaps," his cheeks turned bright red.

"Bharā, your boyfriends are here!" Kati grinned as she reentered the living room. "Don't keep them waiting!"

"Kati," John growled.

"Here's your coat, Imzadi," Catherine helped him put on the leather coat and adjusted the collar. "Do try to behave yourself and not end up on the news, okay?"

"I'll do my best," he forced a smile.

"At least try to have some fun, then," she kissed him on the cheek.  _"Remember my promise about later."_

" _How could I forget it?"_  John kissed her on the lips before making his way to the door. "Sorry that I kept you waiting," he apologized upon meeting up with Kirk and Chekov.

"No problem," Kirk shook his head. "Let's go have a good time."

After John had left, the four women began discussing many things ranging from the changes in beauty products over the past 300 years to their favorite chick flicks. Kati told them of her marriage to Giovanni, and Catherine told them more about her whirlwind romance with John.

"That Imzadi thing is so romantic, bhabi. Who knew my brother could be so tender-hearted? That also was so sweet of him to propose before allowing you to give him your virginity and bind yourself to him telepathically. I suppose John is full of surprises," Kati smiled.

"He would be utterly embarrassed if he were here and heard me telling you ladies this, but John is lovely in bed. Despite his usual cold exterior, he is very gentle with me, romantic, and always makes sure that I am satisfied. I have yet to be disappointed," Catherine blushed slightly and giggled. "I think that he can be quite a sweetheart."

Kati could not resist and soon began divulging many stories about when she pulled pranks on John or embarrassed him on purpose in front of important world leaders. She also told them some further, painful details about their childhood that John never told Catherine before.

"After our mother died, we were taken care of by some of the remaining scientists in the compound until our mamī's friend Mr. Gary Seven came and had us moved to our relatives' home. Our Māsī Sharan Singh was our mother's half-sister. Her maiden name was Harrison. She was very kind and was an illustrator for children's books. Her husband, Māsaṛa Prahbot Singh, was a civil engineer. As kind as his wife was, he was equally as horrible. She was a victim of domestic abuse, and we soon find ourselves victims of child abuse as well," Kati frowned. "At first, Māsaṛa Prahbot just insulted us, particularly John, calling us things like freaks. He blamed us for their financial troubles. John, true to his nature, became defiant and spoke up one day. Māsaṛa Prahbot tore off his shirt, pulled down his pants, and beat him with his belt for thirty lashes only because he knew John's little Augment body would be able to handle it. He was even younger than Luca is now, and he cried so much. I was very young, but I can still remember his screams. I was so scared, and yet, John comforted me even though he was the one in pain. It got to the point that he just took the beatings and no longer cried about it. John never once let him touch me."

"Kati, how horrible! How did you get out of that situation?" Marla asked.

"As it often happens, the domestic abuse escalated until Māsaṛa Prahbot hurt Māsī Sharan so badly one night that she was in a coma. She died several days later, and Māsaṛa Prahbot went to prison for her death. Mr. Seven was very upset to find out what happened to us and took us back to the Chrysalis Project compound, but I'm sure if he had known what was going to happen to us there, I do not think he would have trusted our care again to the scientists," Kati visibly shuddered.

"My poor, John," Catherine wiped her eyes. "I'm so sorry, Kati. It was bad enough having to see and experience it firsthand myself for a brief time, but I cannot imagine having to watch it or experience it for years."

"As you know, John told me what happened when you were both taken captive, but if you do not mind, I want to hear about it from you. I want to understand better the sacrifices that you have made for my brother, for us. I only want to better appreciate what you have done. John constantly tells me that you have saved his life," Kati dabbed at her eyes.

"I don't know about that, but I have done my best to always support and love him despite the fact that he thinks that he does not deserve it. When he was so sick and then that disgusting Denobulan shot him, I did all that I could to keep him alive. But if they had not found us in time, it wouldn't have been enough. I would have lost him," fresh tears began to stream from her eyes.

"What was it like leading up to that, sweetie?" Janice held her hand.

"It was complete and utter hell. Section 31 and Admiral Marcus were just psychological torture, but it wasn't that bad as Dr. Zineeri was two and a half weeks of intense psychological and physical torture. I have never told John, so he may or may not know this, but for those two and a half weeks I had to watch most likely every single day for an unknown amount of time. I had to watch him be insulted, molested by that Orion bitch, and physically tortured, and I could do nothing about it. I couldn't comfort him. I couldn't even let him know that I was alive. I had to listen to him begging to know where I was and for them not to hurt the baby or me. When they finally did let him see me, it was only so he could watch them hurt me. I still cannot fathom how one man could not only survive all of this but also thrive as well as he does."

"Because although he constantly punishes and degrades himself as if he is unworthy, he really is better," Kati managed to smile through her tears as Janice and Marla hugged them both.

"Oh dear, yes, he certainly is better at everything," Catherine shook her head. "I think that I need a break. Can we think and talk about something cheerful now?"

"Do you know anything about that baby-faced Russian? What was his name? Oh right, Pavel Chekov," Kati's face brightened.

Meanwhile at the 602 Club, John downed the shot of vodka that Chekov just handed to him. "Now this is a man's drink," Scotty next handed him a tumbler of Scotch. "Vodka is like milk, but Scotch will put hair on your chest, lad!"

"Scotch was inwented by a little old lady from Leningrad!" Chekov protested causing John to crack a smile at the two men's ethnocentric bickering. Sulu and Dr. McCoy sat between them to stop things from getting ugly.

Captain Kirk, who was already thoroughly drunk, sat next to John. "Thanks for comin', Khan," he slurred his words. "You know, you should lighten up a bit. Have some fun! Your sister seems like the type to have fun. Do you think I'd have a chance with a beautiful, Augment woman like her?"

"I do not know," John answered shortly. Despite drinking just as much as Kirk had, John just barely had a lisp to his speech as his Augment body metabolized the alcohol much more quickly.

"Carol and I are still fighting. She's okay in bed, but anymore lately, I just can't put up with her drama the rest of the time. I think she still has a crush on you or something. You're lucky, Khan. I bet that Catherine of yours is great in bed. Maybe we all could get together sometime," Kirk suggested.

"What do you mean by 'get together'?" John's voice dipped low as he started to become angry.

"You know, the four of us could have a whirl," Kirk chuckled and spun around on his bar stool nearly falling off in the process. "I'm sure stuffy Carol would love to finally get a chance to have a go with you, and I've always wanted to see what banging a Betazoid is like."

With that, John, now enraged, hopped off his barstool and punched Kirk cleanly in the face knocking him off his seat. Still conscious and his nose bloodied, Kirk, struggled and got to his feet before swinging and somehow managing to punch John in the jaw despite how drunk he currently was. The two men then started a full out brawl with each other rolling on the floor, their crewmates afraid to intervene. Finally, a couple burly off-duty Starfleet security officers jumped in and pulled them apart. "Cupcake? I'm sorry. I mean, captain?" the one officer pulled up the bloodied Kirk off the floor.

"We're off duty, Cupcake," Kirk hiccupped.

"Your captain fighting with another of his girlfriends?" the other security officer who happened to be drunk and was holding onto John teased as he shook John slightly.

"I'd be careful what I say. Don't you know who that is?" Cupcake shuddered recalling seeing John's physical prowess firsthand on Kronos.

"Of course I know who this is. He's the coward that took innocent civilian lives in London and here when he crashed that monstrosity of a ship into the city. We should've locked him and all of his kind away forever, or better yet, executed them all including his wife and bastard child. And thanks to your precious captain, they're going to all be free. Maybe we would've been better off if that garbage-scow you call the  _Enterprise_  crashed, too!" the drunken, ignorant security officer ranted.

"What did you call the  _Enterprise_ , lad?" Scotty pushed up his sleeves.

"A garbage-scow!"

With those words, Scotty jumped on him and the entire bar erupted into chaos as most of those present were either officers from the  _Enterprise_  or they sided with Kirk agreeing with him and approving of his role in helping to secure John and his family's freedom. John and Kirk soon found themselves working together to help clear the room of those that had sided with the mouthy officer.

Later as they stumbled into the Harrisons' apartment building, Kirk laughed, "That was great, Khan! I had a blast. You should have seen the look on your face when I said that we should share our women with each other. You take things so seriously!"

"You mean that you were joking?" John gaped at Kirk who had a bloody napkin hanging out of his nose.

"Yeah! I may be stupid, but I'm not that stupid. I know that there is no way in hell that you'd share your wife with any man. And I don't blame you! She's a keeper for sure. She stood by your side through hell and back."

John gaped at Kirk a bit more processing what just took place before finally bursting out in laughter at how foolish he had been. Seeing John laughing wholeheartedly and seemingly enjoying himself, Kirk and Dr. McCoy, who had quietly tagged along to make sure they both made it home safely, joined in until all three were howling. After calming down, they made their way up to John's flat. Bursting through the front door, the three drunken men loudly clambered into the living room thoroughly startling Catherine and Kati who sat sleepily under a blanket on the couch together watching  _Anne of Green Gables_.

"Luca's sleeping!" Kati scolded them.

"John Harrison, what have you done?" Catherine gasped noting the dried blood on his and Kirk's faces and all three men's torn clothing.

"He had a great time, that's what," Kirk slurred and grinned stupidly.

"Old habits?" John shrugged his shoulders letting go of Kirk who nearly toppled over. "It has been brought to my attention that I need to learn to take a joke. Am I in trouble?" he stumbled ever so slightly over his words causing Kati and Catherine to laugh.

"Well, we'll be on our way," Dr. McCoy pulled Kirk away and out the door to take him home.

"I'll just go ahead and take Luca home. I can carry him," Kati got off the couch. "You clearly have your hands full with this man-child," she shook her head and grinned before going to the spare room to fetch her sleeping son.

Once they were alone, John explained what happened while Catherine wiped the dried blood off his face and helped him out of his clothes. Before helping him into bed, she held him tightly and started to sniffle. "Imzadi, did I do something to hurt you? Why are you upset?" John asked.

"I just love you," she nuzzled into his chest thinking about the abuse he experienced at the hand of his uncle as a child. "You are a good man. You are a good brother. You are a good uncle. You are a good husband. You are going to be a good father. You stubborn man, how much I truly love you. That is all," she wiped away her tears and kissed him.

"I love you, too. Even though I messed up this evening, do I still get my reward?" he asked sounding a bit like a child.

"Yes, you still get your reward. Get in bed," she grinned.


	41. A Princess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry this is so long, but I couldn't bring myself to cutting it in half as we've been awaiting baby Harrison's arrival! I had a very difficult time finding a song for Sarina Kaur's lullaby. I ultimately chose the one titled "Neend Bhari Re" as I liked the tune but could not find a translation of the lyrics into English anywhere! You can find all the music for this chapter on You Tube. Sorry for any typos or errors! 
> 
> Listening track selections: "Jia Ren Qu" by Shigeru Umebayashi, "Neend Bhari Re" performed by Lalitya Munshaw – aka Sarina Kaur's lullaby, "Saun Ja Meri Rani" performed by Nuzhat Abbas, and "A Princess" by Javier Navarrete

 

A couple of days had passed after John inadvertently started the brawl at the bar at the 602 Club with his new shipmates near the campus of Starfleet Academy. As those present were all involved with Starfleet in some way including academy students who happened to make up most of the staff at the club, news of their behavior did not reach the outside world thanks to threats of punitive action from both Admiral Morrow and Admiral Barnett, head of the Starfleet Academy Board. Although John explained to Catherine what had happened leading up to him handing out the first blow to Captain Kirk, she did not press him further at the time to discuss whether or not his feelings about Kirk had changed in light of them working together to fight for the same cause. So, she was thoroughly surprised when it was he who brought up the issue as they sat at their dining room table working on their studies together.

"I've been thinking," John announced as he took off his glasses which he would soon no longer need as his mild visual deficit had quickly improved with Dr. McCoy's treatments consisting of small daily doses of Retinax.

"Oh?" Catherine arched her brow as she put down her PADD. "What about?" she asked before she took a sip of her tea.

"Jim Kirk."

With his reply, Catherine began choking on her tea causing John to get out of his chair and rush to her side. Waving him away assuring him that she was fine, once she caught her breath, she asked, "Did I just hear you say that you've been thinking about Captain Kirk and you referred to him informally as 'Jim'?"

"Yes, you heard correctly."

"And?"

"I believe that we have come to some sort of unspoken, new understanding with one another. Do not misinterpret me. I will not hesitate to choke the life out of him the moment he puts anyone I love in harm's way. But," he sighed, "I think that I might be able to make this work. It will not be easy, as you know I am proud and stubborn, but you also know that I always endeavor to overcome any obstacle in my way. Furthermore, I am superior and will happily prove to Starfleet that I am far more capable in commanding a starship than him."

"As you have said, you need to learn to relax a little. His light-hearted personality should be a good influence on you," Catherine teased.

"I'm not sure if I completely agree with you on that. I have heard that it has often been noted by his superior officers that his carefree attitude and lack of discipline could ultimately lead to what gets him and his crew killed. As we will now be part of that crew, that certainly has me concerned."

"Your concern is understandable, but I think that it is safe to say that the captain has been changed by his brush with death and will try not to be so careless. If anything, although he still does his best to come across as confident and fun-loving, I sense that deep down he is very conflicted with himself and is struggling to come to terms with what happened. Did you know that he cheated on the Kobayashi Maru simulation so that he could beat it?" Catherine smirked slightly.

"No, I did not know that. Seems they conveniently left that out of his Starfleet dossier. So he cheated death before, and when really faced by Marcus with a no-win scenario, he had no idea how to handle it. I remember him pleading with Marcus to spare his crew. Hearing that brought back so many memories of myself doing the exact same thing: telling Marcus that I would do anything and begging him not to hurt my family," John frowned. "I suppose Kirk's solution was adequate, though. His actions did save us all," John decided.

"So, my superior one," she grinned trying to help him not to linger on painful memories of the past, "why exactly do you want to prove that you are a better commander than Captain Kirk? I did not know that command of a starship of your own was something you desired."

"It is not my direct goal to achieve an illustrious career in Starfleet and command of my own ship, but, I do want to show them that I am capable of doing so and ultimately that I am capable of ruling my own people once we are given a planet of our own to inhabit. Although the Great Khanate is no more, I am still the leader of my people and their spokesman. If I am capable of commanding a crew of hundreds, I can easily lead a group of less than one hundred Augments," he explained.

"Love, you have already successfully led your people once before, and I have confidence that you can do it once again. You do not need to prove yourself to anyone."

"Thank you for trusting and believing in me, Imzadi, but I do not feel that my rule as Khan was triumphant."

"I know you don't think that you were successful, and you already know that others and I disagree with you. Despite the fact that we differ on that issue, I wholeheartedly support you in your endeavor," she reached across the table and squeezed his hand. "Besides, I am your Khanum."

"That you are," he smiled. "There is one thing that I actually have found in Kirk that I respect."

"What is it?"

"Despite his joke that triggered my rage at the bar about him and I sharing Carol Marcus and you between the two of us, he really does respectfully admire you for how you've stood by my side in spite of all we've been through. While drunk, he admitted that he and Dr. Marcus are in a bit of a rough spot in their relationship."

"I was not completely sure at the time, but I figured that they were together given the way they interacted with each other at our trial. He was quite angry with her after she admitted under oath her infatuation with you and how she stalked us. Maybe he is also envious of the relationship we have with one another."

"Perhaps," John nodded. "I know that I have expressed my gratitude to you many times, but, thank you, Catherine, for never leaving my side."

"My Khan, I could never have abandoned you in your time of need. I only wish that I could have been in your life sooner and helped to spare you or at least alleviate some of the pain you have felt," she gently stroked the hand that she had been holding. "John, I know you would rather have taken the prison sentence. You could have easily held your own there and most likely would have escaped and gained your freedom. You sacrificed your chance to flee because of me and because of my request to share the same punishment as you. I would have only held you back if I went there with you. Thank you for choosing to serve in Starfleet for my sake. I know this is not the life you necessarily would have chosen if I were not a factor in the decision."

"Imzadi, do not ever think that you were or currently are a hindrance to me," he scolded her. "If it were not for you, I would likely not be alive right now, and you know that. If the eel larvae did not kill me first, given what Commander Spock has told me in regards to what his plans were to meet my demands in exchanging my crew for Kirk, Dr. Marcus, and Mr. Scott, I would likely have died on the  _Vengeance_  in a manner no different than the other version of myself died on the  _Reliant_. He was going to take the  cryotubes out of the torpedoes, activate the detonation sequence on the torpedoes, and beam them to the  _Vengeance_  just as I had demanded of him."

"That cunning little Vulcan! Blowing the ship up from the inside out besides the fact that Scotty already activated the self-destruct sequence," she gasped. "I really would have lost you."

"Seeing you alive and your understanding that I was not myself ensured that I was removed from the ship, received the medical treatment that I needed, and stopped my madness. You're right. Serving in Starfleet was certainly not my preference, but after everything you've done for both me and our family, I could not bear to see you so afraid and crying especially after all that you had been through because of me. Seeing you cry breaks my heart. If choosing something I find undesirable means that you do not have to be afraid or cry, then I will endure it for your sake. You are a part of me. You are my life now, and you will always come first."

"We may yet face danger during our five year mission, and we may yet experience pain. At least we will be together, the three of us."

"Of course, we will have each other and also our friends. We would have had no one to look out for us in prison," he nodded. "I know that I will never have psionic abilities like you, Catherine, just as you will most likely never be an Augment, but I think that I may be able to ever so slightly sense your emotions. Is that possible?"

"You are Augment, John, and so I certainly would not say it is impossible. We have grown extremely close with one another since we were reunited. Our bond is very strong now. What do you think you have sensed?"

"You were so afraid when they gave us our sentence to go to the Tantalus colony. Imzadi, I felt nothing but raw fear emanating from you. You would not have been afraid of simple imprisonment having already experienced worse at the hands of Dr. Zineeri. I have researched the prison colony on Tantalus V, and now I understand your fear. Only the most violent criminals are sent there for so-called rehabilitation. No one in Starfleet will speak of it, but I have heard murmurings about Dr. Tristan Adams and his leadership of the penal colony. You also know of such rumors, do you not?" he asked as a shiver ran up her spine.

"Yes," she sighed. "I've heard it from others, but I also overheard Dr. Noel once before one of our sessions discussing with her colleague the treatment of a Dr. Simon Van Gelder. He was Dr. Adams' associate. They say that Dr. Van Gelder is suffering from severe mental illness including delusions, paranoia, and even partial retrograde amnesia. Dr. Noel mentioned something about Dr. Van Gelder blaming his symptoms on a device called a neural neutralizer. John, some have reason to believe that Dr. Adams is experimenting on his prisoners. I've also heard rumors that Dr. Adams was associated with Section 31 and perhaps even connected to Dr. Zineeri. I could not bear the thought of us going through something like that again. As you said, Starfleet remains tight-lipped about the tittle-tattle regarding Dr. Adams, but I hope that after what happened to us that they at least investigate to see if it is true or not. They've already witnessed the horrors of medical experimentation through our experience. So, you really could sense my fear?"

"It was very strong. I believe that it was unmistakable that I was sensing it. I was ruminating as to which sentence I was going to choose when I felt your fear hit me like a tidal wave. Every now and then lately, I do get hints of your emotions. I take great pleasure in that," he smiled as he got up from his chair and knelt at her side. "I have often felt as if I have been missing out on something with you always being able to read my emotions. I feel so much more closer and intimate with you now even if I can only feel your emotions just a little," he explained as he pulled her on her chair away from the table, wrapped his arms around her, and nuzzled into her side.

"You know, we'll never get our work done if this continues any further," Catherine giggled as she ran her fingers through his hair.

"I can settle for a kiss for now," he looked up at her and did his best to shoot her an innocent grin.

"Then it is a kiss that you shall get," she leaned over the best she could and kissed him on the forehead. "Later, you can have more, but in about a month, we're going to have to start being careful as I'll be in my third trimester. Leonard is not considering this to be a high-risk pregnancy per say, but he wants us to take it easy."

"Not looking forward to that," he pouted.

"Me neither!" she sighed but smiled.

As expected, John excelled at all of his classes. Despite her increasing fatigue from carrying their child, Catherine also did well with her summer classes bringing John great pride in his wife. Kati and Luca were adjusting well to their new world and often spent time with Kestra going on outings in the city. As no one knew Kati and Luca's identities and their relationship to John, much to his relief, they experienced no harassment from the public outside of getting occasional glares for what others considered to be slightly odd behavior. Luca, who never had any grandmotherly influences in his life, particularly became close to Kestra and enjoyed spending time with her despite Catherine's worries that she would teach him bad habits.

One late afternoon in July, John walked into the flat carrying multiple PADDs and stacks of electronic blueprints after having a meeting with his academic advisor. Although the items were by no means too heavy for him, they were all rather awkward and cumbersome leaving him to ungracefully plop them all over the dining room table with a frustrated groan.

"How did your meeting go? Gracious, what's all this?" Catherine asked walking in from the kitchen drying her hands on a towel.

"My senior project," John huffed and sat down at the table. "I am to work on it for the next two semesters in order to graduate."

"You're not happy with your chosen project? What is it going to be?" she stood behind him and began massaging his shoulders.

"I'm not sure if I was exactly given a choice, but it was strongly suggested that I should choose to work with Commander Scott on redesigning the  _Enterprise_  and then be in charge of overseeing her refit under his supervision as my preceptor. Starfleet Command obviously knows what I am capable of doing since they have been studying the wreckage of the  _Vengeance_. Needless to say, they  are impressed with my work and feel it is far more advanced than the designs that they have now. While they claim that, unlike Admiral Marcus, they do not want to militarize Starfleet further, if the  _Enterprise_  is going to spend five years exploring the unknown, they want her to be ready to face anything and at least be able to defend herself," he explained.

"Well, even though you are outwardly pouting and expressing that you are not quite so happy about it, I can tell that deep down inside you are absolutely reveling in the opportunity. I know that you enjoy reading and learning, but your hands are just itching to do something more constructive since you've already got your Jaguar back into running order. You're getting bored! This will be good for you, John," she smiled as she sat down next to him.

"I guess you're right," he shyly smiled knowing that what she said was true. "The other options were not quite so interesting anyway."

"I'm excited. I will finally get to fly on a ship of your design since my time on the  _Vengeance_  was so short-lived. You also owe me a spin in the car! Oh well, it's just the two of us tonight. Kati and Luca are going out with Janice and my mother. I'm going to go finish our supper," she got up and went back to the kitchen.

Later as they ate the meal Catherine prepared being her turn to cook for them both, John smiled after taking a couple bites, "This is delicious, darling. Where did you get the recipe?"

"It is a traditional Betazoid dish from my mother's side of the family. I'll let her know that you like it," she replied as she worked to scoop up some food onto her own fork. "She'll be thrilled, I'm sure."

"Oh yes, I'm sure she will," he chuckled before they continued to eat in silence.

Suddenly, Catherine innocently asked, "John, who is Gary Seven?" John immediately dropped his knife and fork letting them clang onto his plate startling Catherine. Sensing him feeling anger and hurt, she immediately apologized, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. You don't have to explain if it upsets you."

John, who looked slightly paler than usual, after a few moments finally answered, "No, I will tell you. You deserve to know. I have no reason to hide anything from you anymore."

"Would you like some more wine first?" she asked wishing she herself could have some, too, to help her relax, but she continued to abstain from consuming alcohol due to the pregnancy.

"Yes, please." Taking a couple gulps of the wine she poured for him, John began to explain, "I do not know much about Mr. Seven's background. He was not Augment, but he clearly had some sort of genetic alterations done to him. I do not know if he was from Earth, the future, or what, but he had a device that he called a servo that was sort of like a sonic screwdriver from  _Doctor Who_. For a while, I thought of him as a friend or at least some sort of ally. Later on in my life, I wasn't so sure of that. I had known Mr. Seven since I was a young child. He knew my mother. I do not know if their relationship was strictly professional or not. He at times spoke very fondly of her. Other times he did nothing but criticize her zeal for her work. After my  mamī's death, he took Kati and me away from the Chrysalis compound to our māsī and māsaṛa's home."

"I'm sorry for not telling you before, but Kati already has told me of your time there. You do not have to recall and tell me what you experienced at the hands of your uncle," Catherine held back tears taking hold of his hand. "So much pain at such a young age."

"Yes," John nodded and squeezed her hand back. "Mr. Seven was appalled at what happened to us and took us back to the scientists at the compound. Later in 1984, he whisked us away from the riots caused by Indira Gandhi's assassination. I told him that I owed him a debt, and it was then that he recruited me for my first mission. I later rescued him in Moscow in 1986 when he was captured during our mission at Lenin's tomb, and he considered my debt to be repaid. From that point onwards, he ceaselessly meddled in my affairs. I later and still feel that he betrayed me," he picked up his fork squeezing and bending it just as he had done at the Indian restaurant when Admiral Marcus had interrupted their unofficial first date. "I do not know of his fate after our exile. Not sure if I care to know, either."

"Such bad blood that still lingers," she let go of his hand. "Again, I'm sorry for bringing it up," she sighed wearily getting up from her chair and taking her still half full plate away to the kitchen.

"Catherine," he quietly called after her feeling ghastly that she thought he was upset with her because of her innocent questioning. Hearing her clanging dishes around in the kitchen quite loudly, he got up and went after her. "Imzadi."

"What?" she turned around with tears running down her cheeks.

"Please know that you should never be afraid to ask me questions. I will answer anything you ask of me. I'm not upset with you. Why are you crying?" he gently asked as he approached her.

"I know you're not upset with me, but you're still upset!" she sniffled. "It was so stupid of me to bother asking. You were enjoying your meal, and I had to go and ruin it! I feel so stupid, unattractive, fat, and I don't know what else!"

"You're exhausted," he cupped her cheeks with his large hands. "I've been so busy and distracted with my heavy course load, but now I notice and even sense your overwhelming fatigue. I'm the one that needs to be apologizing. I'm sorry. I should be looking after you. Why do you feel stupid?"

"Besides asking questions that upset you, final exams are going to be in a couple weeks. I am so tired, and my back is starting to hurt again. How am I going to be able to study when I can barely stay awake in the evening?"

"That by no means makes you stupid!" he did his best to hold back a laugh lest he upset her further. "Have you gone to Dr. McCoy about your back?"

"Yes, and there is not much that can be done this time. Just normal pregnancy aches and pains. Too big of a baby inside too little of a body," she sighed.

"Is there something I can do? You know I'd do anything to help you. I'd even dress up as a French maid if it would make you smile," he whispered getting her to crack a grin.

"I wouldn't mind seeing that, but I'd rather you just wear the apron part of the costume and nothing else."

"Really, though, you're not stupid, and you're by no means unattractive. Please tell me what I can do," he tucked her now shoulder length hair behind her ear.

"Can you just hold me a little while on the bed? Maybe sing something to me? Then I'll rest so that I will be able to finish cleaning up from our supper."

"I can certainly do that, but I will clean up for you. If you are to get through this rest of this pregnancy and your studies, you need to rest," he gently took her by the arm and led her to their bedroom. After helping her get undressed and into something more comfortable, he helped her lie down on her side to alleviate the strain and pressure on her back. Getting onto the bed and pulling her into his arms, he gently kissed her on the temple before asking, "Comfortable?"

"Very," she nodded.

"Good, now I shall sing to you." Clearing his throat, John sang to her one of the many songs he could recall from his past.

"That was beautiful, but it was not in Punjabi," she whispered once he finished. "What language was that?"

"It was Chinese. It is called 'Jia Ren Qu' in their tongue. In English, the title is simply 'Beauty Song.'"

"Can you translate it for me?"

"There was a lady in the North most beautiful and unique  
From her first glance the city bows before her  
From her second glance the empire falls into ruins  
I wonder if such exquisite beauty  
Can ever be seen again?"

"Oh John," she smiled.

"That is a rough translation, of course. Sometimes it is difficult to express certain phrases in English. Regardless, you are beautiful and intelligent. Short of taking your exams for you or helping you cheat, I will do all that I can to help you rest and study."

"Thank you. Where did you learn that song?"

"I lost a bet once, and Suzette Ling made me sing it to her in front of our closest comrades," he laughed recalling his embarrassment. "Now go ahead and rest. I will come to wake you in about 30 to 45 minutes to help you get back up to study."

Meanwhile, Kati, Luca, Kestra, and Janice were enjoying themselves at a local restaurant often frequented by Starfleet personnel. Kestra sat with Luca at a table while Janice and Kati sat at the bar. As they watched Luca dig into his bowl of gourmet macaroni and cheese, Kati gently tapped Janice on the arm. "Is that the cute Russian boy over there? Chekov?" Kati whispered pointing to the young man who was seated across the room.

"Oh, yes, that's Chekov," Janice grinned. "For someone so young, he's very smart. I believe the late Admiral Pike called him 'Russian wiz kid'."

"He's so cute," Kati blushed. "How much do you know about him? He's one of your shipmates, right?"

"Yes, he serves on the  _Enterprise_  with me. He's an ensign and usually has the position of navigator. He recently was the interim chief engineering officer when Mr. Scott had a fight with the captain and left the ship," Janice explained. "I think he'll be happy to be back in the navigator's seat."

"Is he single?"

"Yes, why? Are you interested?" Janice giggled.

"He was such a sweetheart when he introduced himself," Kati noted before she looked down sadly at her lap.

"Kati, what is it?"

"Everyone has been so kind and friendly to Luca and me since John and Catherine brought us home from Starfleet Medical. It's so nice to have good friends for once in my life. Is it wrong that I still feel lonely?" she asked as a single tear rolled down her cheek.

"No, there's nothing wrong in feeling that way! We all have times when we feel lonely even when surrounded by others."

"It's just, well, I want a partner. I love and miss my husband desperately, but I know that he would have wanted Luca and me to be happy even if it meant moving on from him. Luca wasn't even born yet when Giovanni died, so he does not know any differently. John has done the best he can to be a father-figure for Luca, but it's just not the same. I want a husband, a lover, a best friend, and I want a father for Luca. I'm trying to be patient. I know there is still a lot to learn and to adjust to here, but it's just so hard," she sighed. "I often cry myself to sleep at night after he's gone to bed," she whispered hoping Luca could not overhear her. "Between who and what I am as an Augment, my past hurts and scarred heart, and everything that has happened here with my bharā, what man would want to risk being with me? Who am I kidding? Why would such a young, sweet man like Chekov want to dive into fatherhood and marry an older woman like me?"

"Sweetie, you'll never know until you try, and remember, human men aren't your only option now! Would you like me to see if I can do something to help the two of you meet in a social situation to make it easier?"

"I don't want you to go out of your way or anything!" Kati protested.

"No, I'm happy to do it. Everyone deserves to have someone to love and love them in return."

"Part of me feels so guilty. For the longest time all I ever did was worry about John and how lonely he was. I tried so many times to subtly get him to take notice of certain women, but he either did not get the hints or did not care. The poor thing had so many worries during the wars. Now that he has Catherine and is so happy and desperately in love, I'm jealous. I am elated that he has finally found someone and that he waited and didn't settle for someone with whom he would not be happy, but it just reminds me how lonely I feel. While I am grateful for them always allowing us to have meals with them, sometimes it feels like a kick in the gut seeing them so happy and her with her belly so heavy with child."

"Do you want more children, Kati?"

"Absolutely," she nodded. "I love babies. I've always wanted Luca to have at least one other sibling. At least he'll have a cousin now," she forced a smile.

"Then I'm going to do my best to find you someone. For now, we'll try for Chekov. Deal?"

"Okay, deal," she agreed. "I do love his curls and that accent."

August quickly arrived bringing with it final exams week for John and Catherine. True to his promise, John spent time away from his studies to help Catherine with her own and to proofread her term papers, and although he would not mention it to her, he really quite enjoyed getting to learn about what she had been working on in her counseling courses. John finished the semester at the top of his class and received many words of commendation from his instructors. Despite her concerns, Catherine finished well and received top marks. The couple finished the birthing classes that John had signed them up for at the beginning of the semester and that they had faithfully attended all summer. Within her heart, she felt such deep joy and tenderness at how devoted John was to taking on fatherhood. Grateful that for the time being her academic career was going to be put on hold, she began to turn her thoughts towards her upcoming labor and delivery, towards supporting John with his ongoing studies, and with spending more time with their loved ones.

Several days after they received their final grades, John also began to turn his thoughts towards their future as a family as well as his upcoming responsibilities as a father and with his role in refitting the  _Enterprise_. Wanting to give Catherine the opportunity to get out and about after all of her hard work, he smiled to himself as he pulled the key to his Jaguar out of his desk drawer and then proceeded to the living room where she was resting on the couch and watching  _Doctor Who_.

"Once this is over, are you feeling up to going out?" John asked as he held up the key letting it swing back and forth on its keychain.

"Sure! It's about time you took me somewhere in your car!" Catherine nearly squealed. "Where are we going?"

"I thought that we'd get a bite to eat and then take a ride around town. It's been a while since we've had some really good Indian food, and one of my classmates suggested a restaurant for us to try."

"Sounds like a plan to me! Did you want it to just be the two of us, or can I invite Kati, too?"

"Do as you wish. It is up to you. I want you to enjoy the evening after all the effort you put into your studies," he sat next to her.

"Then I'll go ahead and ask her if she wants to come. Luca is sleeping over at my parents' place tonight, and Kati has been sad lately. I'm worried about her. I sense that she is feeling somewhat lonely. I know she fancies Ensign Chekov, and despite Janice and me offering to help her, she's still too afraid to try to talk to him."

"I think Katrina has more to worry about than finding herself a boyfriend just yet," John's voice rumbled lowly.

"John," Catherine shot him a look of warning, "she has every right to want to find a new mate, and her love life is none of your business."

"I beg to differ, Catherine. She's my little sister, and that fact alone makes it my business. I just do not want her to get hurt," his voice softened. "You know full well all that I went through to protect her as best that I could all of our lives, but a broken heart is not something so easily prevented. I do not want her to have to grieve again."

"With love, there is always that risk. I think you understand that better than most, don't you?" she snuggled back against him.

"Agreed, you saw what the thought of having lost you did to me."

"But the risk was worth it, wasn't it?"

"Yes, at least for us the risk was worth it, but it could have turned out so horribly. I'm glad that we took that risk," he kissed the top of her head.

"Me, too. I'm glad that for once I listened to my heart and not my head."

"I'm glad and thank you for following your heart, too."

That evening, John, Catherine, and Kati, who had decided to join them, squeezed into the Jaguar. John started up the car, and as the engine came to life, Kati grinned, "She's purring like a kitten."

"I've never heard a car engine before, so I'm guessing that is a good thing?" Catherine arched her brow.

"Yes, it's a good thing. Bharā, will you let me drive someday?" Kati asked.

"Bhaiṇa, you drive like a maniac!" John laughed. "How many cars did you go through while we were living in Chandigarh?"

"Two? Alright, fine, it was three!" she huffed.

"There you go," he smiled. "Perhaps, though, if we take it out of the city, you can drive it sometime."

"Thank you, bharā!"

Having finished their meal later that evening, John took the two women for a drive around San Francisco. If he were alone, he most certainly would have driven much faster and recklessly, but instead, he drove very cautiously not wanting to cause an accident and hurt Catherine, Kati, or the baby. Despite Kati's urging him to drive on the hills like Dirty Harry Callahan in the car chase scene in the film  _The Dead Pool_ , John responsibly drove onwards after turning around in his seat once and threatening to take her back home causing her to roll her eyes and laugh at him for treating her like a child.

While they waited at a particularly long traffic light, John looked to Catherine and asked her telepathically so Kati could not hear,  _"Would it make you uncomfortable if we stopped to see what remains of the_ Vengeance _? They actually have not done much just yet to remove the wreckage. We do not have to if you do not want to go, but I haven't been there yet and am curious to see her."_

" _No, I want to go,"_  Catherine reached over and gently placed her hand on his thigh.  _"I think it is good for us to go. It may help to give us closure over any lingering regrets we may have."_

" _Should we explain our intentions to Kati?"_

"Kati?" Catherine turned around and looked at her sister-in-law.

"Yes, bhabi?"

"You know what happened with the ship that John designed. Would it bother you if we went to the crash site? Neither of us has been there, and we would like to go," Catherine explained. "We can take you home first, if you prefer."

"No, I'll go with you. I want to see the ship, or at least what is left of it," Kati insisted.

"Go on, John," Catherine nodded as the light turned green and he made a right turn towards the part of the city where the ship crash-landed.

As they drew nearer, the amount of destruction caused by the  _Vengeance_  was obvious. John felt sickened and fought the urge to wretch as he felt that this was somehow his fault. Sensing his guilt, Catherine gently rubbed his thigh and kept sending him reassuring thoughts via their telepathic link. Eventually, they came to a fenced off area where only those with Starfleet security clearances could enter. The fence was lined with flowers and makeshift memorials left behind by those who had lost friends and loved ones in the devastation. John did happen to have clearance as the investigation into his involvement was over and he would also need access to the site in the future as he worked with Scotty on redesigning the  _Enterprise_ , and even though they likely would have allowed Catherine admission, he did not feel right having Kati hide in the back seat and sneaking her inside.

"There doesn't seem to be anyone here right now," John noted aloud. "I'll park, and we can get out and take a look around."

After parking down a block and helping Kati and Catherine out of the Jaguar, John linked arms with Catherine escorted her to the fence. The three silently gazed at what was left of the massive black hull, and John noted to himself with surprise that he could see into the bridge area of the ship and wondered if he might have managed to survive the crash if he had remained onboard. Catherine again sensed the turmoil he was feeling within his heart and reached down to squeeze his hand tightly.

"Such a waste all because of one man's greed," Catherine sniffled. "So may lives lost and so many others ruined."

"But it could have been millions more, bhabi, if you and John had not stopped the admiral," Kati reminded them. "War and death, like the wreckage of this ship, play no favorites and make no distinctions. It would have touched the lives of many here on Earth and elsewhere."

"I should have done something to stop him sooner. I could have stopped this," John's looked down and saw a picture of a family stuck into the fencing as a tear rolled down his cheek.

Catherine and Kati both drew him into a hug as the three fell into silence to show their respect to those who were lost and to continue to observe the remains of the ship. While there had been no one in the area initially when they arrived, they failed to notice that a crowd of about twenty to thirty people had actually started to gather around them. What they did not know was that it was a meeting of those in a grief support group that had happened to decide to stop by the site for a visit. The group at first took no notice of the three as they assumed that they were also there to remember lost loved ones.

Suddenly, a woman that stopped and stood next to Kati looked over at John and shrilled out, "Oh my God, it's him! That fucking bastard is here!" causing the crowd to look in their direction.

Catherine froze in fear as John peeled himself from her and Kati's grasp and turned around having Catherine stand behind him to shield her. People in the crowd began murmuring to one another until finally an angry, gruff looking man came up to John and after spitting in his face shouted, "You son of a bitch! It's your fault my entire family is dead! How dare you come here! This place is sacred!"

Knowing his apologies would do nothing to appease their anger, John remained silent as others began to approach them while shouting vile insults. Kati stood beside him to help shield Catherine lest the crowd turn on her, too, and try to harm her or the baby. Catherine meanwhile began to cry at the things that were being shouted at John and from feeling afraid for their lives knowing that the crowd could turn violent at any moment.

And the moment that she feared quickly arrived. One woman managed to somehow squeeze past John and Kati's protective boundary and latched onto Catherine's hair pulling her violently from behind the brother and sister. "How would you like to know what it feels like to lose someone you love?" the woman roared at John as she continued to pull on Catherine's hair. "You little slut!" she hissed and shook Catherine's head by her hair.

Catherine began to silently bargain with the woman pleading for to let her go and to not hurt the baby. While Catherine previously had no qualms about taking out the Orion woman Marta or Dr. Zineeri to protect her unborn daughter and John, this time she knew she was outnumbered and in no condition to do anything to defend even herself. John held up his hands and was going to try to calmly reason with the woman to let her go until an Andorian man walked up and began rubbing Catherine's baby bump.

"We should gut this whore of her half-breed spawn and kill them both right before his eyes. Then we'll kill him and finally have justice," the blue-skinned man suggested.

With that threat, John immediately sprang into action first taking out the Andorian with little effort and then, without holding back any of his strength, punched the woman in the face knocking her unconscious and loosening her grip from Catherine's hair. He had Catherine crouch down on the ground and lay over her shielding her as the crowd turned on them and began to throw things at him and to beat him with improvised weapons that ironically were items left behind as memorials. Catherine wept and shuddered as she could feel the vibrations and thuds from every blow his body took as he sought to protect her.

Although Kati and John did not follow the Sikh religion of their childhood, they always admired the doomed Punjabi regiment of the 19th century that had adopted a traditional Sikh greeting as their battle cry, and John had used it as his own quite often on the battlefield. Kati, feeling the blood boiling in her veins seeing her bhabi and bharā being mistreated so cruelly, shouted the old Punjabi Sikh battle cry at the top of her voice, "Bole So Nihal, Sat Sri Akal!" which meant, "He who cries God is Truth is ever happy!" before jumping into the foray to help save them. Managing to push back some of the crowd away from John and Catherine, Kati picked up a wooden board that one of the mob had dropped and wielded it. "Bharā!"

"Kati!" John called back to her from his position on the ground overtop of Catherine. "Get her out of here immediately. Get her to the car. I will manage by myself."

"No, we go together," Catherine whimpered from beneath him. "We're stronger together."

"She's right, John. You know our chances of getting her to safety are better if both of us go," Kati added her input before smashing her board into the abdomen of one of their attackers.

"Agreed, let's go!" John got up and quickly pulled Catherine to her feet before picking up a brick that had been previously hurled at him so that he could use as a weapon against his foes.

The three pushed through the crowd as Kati and John fought back against those that continued to strike out at them. As they neared the edge of the crowd, John somehow became separated from Kati and Catherine. "John!" Catherine shouted seeing that he was becoming engulfed by the mass of people.

"Go now!" he managed to shout back at them.

"No!" she protested as the much stronger Kati pulled her away and had her run with her to the next block where they had parked. She pulled the car key from Catherine's purse that was thankfully still slung over her shoulder and made the heavily pregnant woman get in the backseat. "We can't leave him behind!" she cried as Kati got into the driver's seat.

"That is certainly not my intention," Kati growled wildly as she started the engine and turned on the headlights as the sun had started to set. "Put on your seatbelt!" she ordered Catherine as she revved the engine before pulling out and speeding towards the mob. Arriving at the scene, she plowed the car into the edge of the crowd and backed up before opening the glove box and pulling out the phaser she knew John had hid there. Before jumping out of the still running car, she handed the phaser to Catherine, advised her, "Defend yourself with this!" and rejoined the attack.

Catherine held the phaser in her shaking hands silently praying to whatever deity she could think of at the time that they would protect John and Kati. Just as she lost sight of Kati, she could hear sirens in the distance and felt a glimmer of hope as they drew nearer. Finally, several police vehicles arrived on the scene and began to disperse the crowd and arrest those that lingered.  _"John? Kati?"_  she strained her eyes trying to catch a glimpse of them.

"Unlock the door!" a Caitian female officer knocked. "We won't hurt you!"

Knowing she was safe, Catherine complied and unlocked the doors. Kati reappeared and jumped back into the driver's seat as a couple of burly police officers slid a beaten and battered John into the back seat next to Catherine. "Are you alright?" he managed to choke out as he slumped over and rested on her shoulder.

"I think so, but you're not looking so good yourself. Kati, get us to Starfleet Medical. Quickly!"

"I don't know how to get there!"

"We'll escort you," the Caitian officer who still stood next to Catherine's car door offered.

Soon enough, they pulled in front of Starfleet Medical and were greeted by the emergency department staff that were alerted by the police that they had been on their way. The staff pulled John from the car and Kati and Catherine followed quickly behind them. Catherine was permitted to accompany him as she was family and was considered medical staff, and Kati went to the waiting room to contact the Trois to let them know what happened before having her own injuries examined.

"I assure, you, Catherine, that most of the blood on me is not my own," John painfully smirked as he lay quietly on the biobed in the emergency department medical bay.

Catherine silently wept looking at the state he was in at that moment having not gotten a good look at him in the darkness of the car. His shirt was torn completely off his body, and most of the exposed areas were covered in varying degrees of cuts, red marks, and bruises. His left hand was slightly swollen leaving her to guess that it was either sprained or broken. Dried blood was gathered under his nose, on his chin, and surrounded his one eye. Noting the mostly dry but moist and sticky glob of spit still clinging to his face, Catherine truly began to weep for him. "It's not right!" she cried angrily. "The  _Vengeance_ 's crash was not your fault!"

"I know it's not right, but it is the way it is," he took her hand with his uninjured one and gently squeezed it. "They are angry and will always try to find a scapegoat. If you think that you are unharmed, will you please tend to my wounds?"

"Yes," she wiped the tears off her face and set to work first gently cleaning the wad of spit off his cheek.

"Are you two okay?" Kati peeked behind the curtain after Catherine had tended to John's wounds.

"Kati!" Catherine ran and hugged the Augment woman. "Thank you!"

"Just returning the favor, bhabi," Kati smiled and gently patted Catherine's back.

Those arrested for attacking them and disturbing the peace were made examples of by being punished harshly as the United Federation of Planets would not tolerate such xenophobic behavior of its citizens towards Augments. Thankfully, John suffered no severe injuries, Kati only had a few cuts and scrapes, and thanks to the siblings, Catherine and the baby were completely unharmed outside of her losing a little bit of hair from having it pulled so violently.

A week later, the three did their best to move on from the incident. Kati remained angry at what happened but knew that it was best not to bring up the topic. Catherine had the occasional nightmare, and John was determined to help her by turning her attention to preparing for their daughter's arrival. He could tell, however, that her resolve was wearing thin, and one evening he found her crying in their bedroom.

Sitting beside her on the bed, he quietly spoke, "You're in pain, Imzadi. I can see it in your eyes. Please tell me what is wrong."

"My back is really starting to ache quite severely now. The baby has been pushing on my spine lately. She has grown so fast, and it is really starting to take a toll on my body. I do not know how much more of this I can take," Catherine admitted as she started to cry harder.

"Darling, come here," John wrapped her in his muscular arms and pulled her close. "Don't cry. I will take care of you and do my best to help alleviate your discomfort."

"What did you have in mind?" she sniffled into his muscular shoulder.

"First I shall draw you a hot bath to which I will add lavender oil to soften and moisturize your skin and to help you relax. Then I will give you a thorough back massage. Would you like that?"

"Yes, that sounds lovely, John. Thank you," she pulled away allowing him to wipe away her tears.

"Anything for my Khanum," he smiled tenderly. "You have taken care of me so many times. It is now my opportunity to return you the favor during your time of need as you carry my child, my legacy."

Just as he proposed, John allowed Catherine to soak for a while peacefully in the hot bath he had drawn for her before he returned and helped her bathe. After helping her dry off and put on a pair of comfortable pajama pants, he led her topless to the bedroom, wrapped a blanket around her shoulders lest she get cold, and then had her sit on the edge of the bed and hold onto a couple pillows so she could lean forward as comfortably as possible given the size of her abdomen. Climbing onto the bed and sitting behind her with a leg on each side of her body, after warming some lotion in his hands, John began to apply pressure to the tight, irritated muscles of her back causing her to moan in relief. "Harder," she urged him.

"Just tell me if I'm hurting you," he requested of her.

After giving her back a thorough massage, John gently removed the pillows she was holding and had her lean back against him. Warming more lotion in his hands, he began gently rubbing her belly and breasts while whispering tender sentiments in her ear. Finishing the massage, he gently wrapped the blanket that was around her shoulders around her more completely, held her tightly, and hummed his mother's lullaby to her soothingly swaying her back and forth.

"That was the song your mother used to sing to you as a baby," she said quietly once he had finished and he slid back further onto the bed pulling her with him having her lie next to him.

"Yes, it was the lullaby she sang to me and then to Kati and Amit. In Punjabi, a lullaby is called a lōrī. I'm not sure how I managed to even remember the melody, but unfortunately, I cannot remember the words. I have tried to research the tune many times, but I have never been able to find any information about it. I suppose that I may never know the lyrics," John sighed.

"The tune is beautiful. I always find it so soothing to hear you hum it. Perhaps your mother composed it herself. She may have wanted to give you something directly from her heart."

"Maybe deep down she suspected that our happy little family would not last long and she wished to leave me something that I would carry with me for the rest of my life. While I may never know that for sure, the idea is rather comforting. As long as I remember the tune to the lōrī, I will always have a part of her with me."

"Perhaps," she nuzzled closer to his side.

Sensing a sudden change in her demeanor, he asked, "What is it? You're concerned about something."

"It's just that, well, babies change things, John. Our lives are never going to be the same."

"I know, but it will be a good and joyful change for us for once. We've gone through many things within the past year, and this is finally something positive to anticipate. We have done a lot to prepare ourselves for this. Why are you suddenly afraid of this change?"

"Besides the normal concerns an expectant mother usually experiences, part of me regrets that we did not have much time alone together before I got pregnant. I feel selfish, but I wish we had more time alone together, just the two of us. I just want you to myself a bit longer. With how tumultuous things were when we came together, we barely got to spend much time alone after physically consummating our relationship, forming our telepathic bond, and getting married. Then New Years happened, and things just went to hell. I was feeling so sick, you were struggling to maintain your sanity, and there was so much tension with us both worrying about Marcus finding out about the torpedoes and us putting the cryotubes inside them. I do not know if I believe in them or not, but it feels like a miracle that we are still together. We went through so much in those early months of our relationship. This pregnancy alone has taken its toll on me. I am certainly looking forward to having you on top of me during sex again," she snorted somewhat bitterly.

"I know that it is the way of nature, but I'm sorry in that you've had to bear the brunt of carrying my child. If I had known the potential consequence of pregnancy, a difficult one at that, from injecting you with my blood that fateful New Years Day, I would not have done it or at least would not have given in so easily to my desire for your body."

"I seem to remember that I was the one that initiated that coupling!" she playfully slapped at his chest.

"It's hard to recall for sure, as you've initiated many of our couplings," he teased. "Still," he resumed a serious tone, "I'm sorry our lives did not turn out the way you would have preferred."

"Please do not think that I regret us or that I regret our little daughter," she leaned up on her elbow to look him in the face. "I love you both, and you'd know I'd die fighting for you and her. The next few months are just going to be different, and I suppose that I am afraid. I'm going to be tired. I'm going to be breastfeeding. Some days, I'm going to be covered in vomit and smell horrible. And I surely hope not, but there may be times when I'm just not in the mood besides the fact that we won't have as much time or privacy to make love, either. I don't want it to be like that."

"And it doesn't have to be, Imzadi! You will not be in this alone. Unlike when I abandoned you in the early weeks of the pregnancy, I will be here, and you will not have the burden of caring for our child by yourself anymore. I know that I am going to be busy with my studies and working on the  _Enterprise_ , but I am going to do all that I can to help you. I did contribute to half of her genes. She's my daughter, too, remember? Together, you know that we can do anything. And I'm sure your mother, Kati, and all of our friends will be happy to drop everything and come to help you, too. We're not in London anymore, and we do not have to hide away from everyone. I want this to be some of the most joyful moments of your life. I truly want that for you, my Khanum," he reached up and gently stroked her cheek. "Besides, our child will be half-Augment. She will develop quickly and will not be as dependent upon you as long as a human child would. You can even ask Kati about how fast Luca achieved his developmental milestones."

"I suppose you're right."

"You only suppose?"

"Fine, I know you're right," she leaned down and kissed him.

"And you really think that you 'won't be in the mood' as you put it? Come on, Catherine, your libido rivals my own, and despite the troubles you've had with the pregnancy, it certainly hasn't slowed you down!" he grinned.

"I suppose you're right in that, too. Despite the annoyance of my belly being in the way, the sex was excellent until we had to cut back these past few weeks. Good grief, Leonard is right. Sex is all the two of us ever think about," she laughed and he soon joined in her laughter as well.

Since the end of her pregnancy was drawing closer and she could likely go into labor at any moment, the Harrisons' friends and family quickly pulled together a baby shower for Catherine to help make sure they had all they needed to care for their daughter. Her parents and Kati helped John quickly turn their spare bedroom into a proper nursery. As Catherine watched John admiringly as he assembled the crib, a sudden pang of pain shot through her abdomen causing her to whimper out loud catching his attention.

"Darling, is it time?" John dropped his tools and rushed to her.

"No, I don't think so. I think it is just Braxton Hicks contractions, false labor. Perhaps we better call Leonard, though, to see if he can check me out today rather than wait for my appointment tomorrow," she suggested. "Oh gosh, I'm nervous. What about my heart? I haven't even thought about it until now," she started to become paranoid about anything that could possibly go wrong.

"Here, sit down," he had her sit in her new rocking chair, "and I'll go call him."

Dr. McCoy fully agreed to seeing Catherine rather than waiting until the next day. He smiled and showed the Harrisons the screen where they could see the baby as he scanned Catherine's abdomen. "She's managed to flip herself upside down and is ready to go," the doctor explained. "I'd say that it's safe to expect her to be here any day now. I'd say within the week. Your cervix is already starting to dilate."

"Leonard, what about my heart? Should I be concerned at all?" Catherine asked anxiously.

"No, all prior scans have come back showing your heart is strong despite your trouble earlier this year. We're going to keep a good eye on you, though, as your body may have a rough time of it. Overall, I think you'll do fine. You're as prepared as you can possibly be," he reassured her. "Make sure you get some rest the next few days."

"Dr. McCoy, what about hemorrhaging? If she ends up having a precipitous birth or if she has a difficult labor, will it be safe to give her transfusions of my blood despite the deactivated nanoprobes still infecting my system?" John inquired.

"If you want, we can take extra precautions by taking a couple pints today and putting them through some extra treatments ahead of time so that we have the blood on hand in the event that it is needed," Dr. McCoy suggested. John and Catherine agreed to this, and once her exam was over and the blood was collected, the Harrisons went home.

Not unexpectedly, John immediately began to hover around Catherine during her every waking moment and waited on her hand and foot. As Dr. McCoy recommended, she rested as much as she could as they expected her labor to be tiring and difficult.

Three days after her medical exam, Catherine stood in the shower letting the hot water run over her back trying to alleviate the severe periodic cramping she was having in her lower back. The pain having become more intense, she gave up and got out to dry herself off. Suddenly, a rush of liquid came rushing from between her legs. "John!" she cried out as the pain in her back spread to her abdomen.

"What is it?" John appeared in the doorway. "You water broke," he said aloud noting the puddle of clear liquid on the floor pooled around her feet.

"Shit!" she swore as the pain intensified.

"Come on," he wrapped her towel around her and carried her to the bedroom helping her to lie on the bed. "Remember to breathe. Take my hand," he coached her through her first full contraction.

Once the pain lessened, she began to rapidly bark out orders as John ran around: "Dry me off! Get me dressed! Call my mother! Get Kati! Don't forget my bag! Get me something to eat!"

"You want to eat at a time like this?" he stopped in his tracks.

"Well, they sure as hell won't let me eat when I get to Starfleet Medical! I'm going to be sucking on ice chips!" she growled.

"Okay, I'll get you a sandwich or something," he scratched his head and then ran to retrieve her something to eat before resuming following her other orders.

Managing to get her into the Jaguar and getting her to Starfleet Medical, John nabbed a wheelchair and quickly but carefully pushed Catherine inside where Kestra greeted them. After getting Catherine into a hospital gown and settled into the room where she would finish her labor and give birth, Dr. McCoy examined her to determine what stage of labor she was experiencing. "You're still only about four centimeters dilated, but she's low enough," he pulled off his glove.

"Well, we better do something to get my cervix moving, Leonard, don't you think?" Catherine snapped at him causing John's eyes to widen having never heard her use that tone with anyone other than him.

"I'll start the medication right away," Dr. McCoy rushed out of the room.

"Fuck!" Catherine swore as another contraction came along.

"Little one!" Kestra scolded her.

"Shut up, mother! I'm not a kid anymore. Can't you see that I'm having a baby here?"

"She actually has been doing much better with the language," John whispered to Kestra with a smile before returning to coaching Catherine through her contraction. Once the contraction was over, John quietly asked, "Are you sure you don't want an epidural, darling?"

"No! Don't even bother asking Leonard either!" she shouted. "Just shut up, everyone, please!"

Knowing that she was in pain and didn't mean to be hurtful, John did as she asked and only coached her through her contractions using their telepathic link with one another until she managed to fall asleep. While she was asleep, Dr. McCoy snuck her some medication to alleviate her pain at least a little for the time being.

Hours passed and Catherine became more and more miserable. Despite her insults, John never left her side. "I'm sorry," she whispered to him exhaustedly after waking up from another brief period of sleep. "I'm being horrible to you."

"I only wish that I could take your pain away, but you're doing wonderfully, Imzadi. I do not think I could ever do this. You are a superior woman. Just try to hold on a bit longer. Dr. McCoy checked you while you were asleep again, and you're nine centimeters dilated. You might even be nearing ten as we speak, and she's just about starting to crown. The pain is going to get worse very soon, but then it will be over," John gently wiped the sweat form her brow.

"Thank you for being here with me," she cried as another contraction started. "I'm starting to feel pressure. Someone better get Leonard!" she winced as John helped her roll onto her back in the event that she would need to start pushing.

"It's time, Catherine. I can already see her head," Dr. McCoy took one glance between Catherine's spread legs. "After this contraction, when the next one starts, I want you to push," he instructed.

As quickly as the current contraction ended, the next one started, and Catherine began to bear down trying not to scream and sound as if she was being murdered. "Keep pushing, darling. She's coming," John encouraged her as she squeezed his hand tightly.

"She's tearing me in two!"

"You're doing fine," Dr. McCoy chipped in reassuring her that she was not in fact being torn open.

"John, please! Just get her out!"

Although the Harrisons' daughter had appeared to be eager to arrive, she suddenly seemed to have stage fright and just did not want to budge in order to make her first appearance. Catherine pushed for what felt like forever becoming more exhausted with each contraction. Dr. McCoy began to silently worry that he would possibly need to end up performing an emergency C-section as the baby's head just did not seem to want to come out. Noting that Catherine was getting weaker and deteriorating, John slightly repositioned her legs, pulled her further up in the bed, and against everything they all had been taught about labor and delivery, when her next contraction hit, he pressed down hard on her abdomen forcing the baby's head to finally stick out and her shoulders to turn enough that she finally popped right out and began to cry.

"Well, I'll be damned," Dr. McCoy laughed as he caught the screaming newborn in his arms.

"Let me see her," Catherine rasped weakly as she lay back on the bed. Dr. McCoy wrapped the baby in a blanket and handed her to John who laid her on Catherine's chest. "Look at all her hair, John," she began to cry with joy.

"Would you like to cut the umbilical cord?" Dr. McCoy held out a pair of surgical scissors to John who nodded and proceeded.

"I'm so tired," Catherine struggled to keep her vision focused as she went pale. "Hurry, I'm going to faint. I don't want to drop her."

John scooped up his still crying daughter as Catherine passed out from exhaustion. It was then that Dr. McCoy also noted a steady stream of blood trickling from between her legs. "She's hemorrhaging," he reported as he began to bark orders to the nurses who were assisting him.

One nurse gently explained that they needed to examine as well as bundle and warm up the baby, and John managed to allow the nurse to take the baby from him as the others ran to assist Dr. McCoy with stopping Catherine's bleeding. Knowing that his daughter was strong and seemed safe and healthy, John turned his attention once again to Catherine. "Don't you dare leave me," he whispered in her ear. "Stay with me. I'll drain myself dry of my blood if I have to in order to keep you here."

Despite John's fears, Catherine's bleeding quickly stopped, and she was well on the mend with the transfusions of his pre-treated blood that they gave to her to replace the blood that she lost. Once Dr. McCoy was satisfied that she was stable, Kestra left to go tell everyone the happy news and to get some rest. Outside of the occasional visit from Dr. McCoy or a nurse to check on Catherine and the baby, John was left alone with his little family.

Holding his sleeping newborn daughter in his arms, John sat in the rocking chair beside Catherine's bed and began to quietly sing a Punjabi lōrī called "Saun Ja Meri Rani." He smiled as the infant yawned sleepily before moving her tiny lips in a suckling motion. Catherine, who had regained consciousness, watched the two people she loved the most in the entire galaxy before speaking. "Fatherhood is becoming on you, John," she smiled weakly.

"How do you feel? You had some hemorrhaging, but Dr. McCoy got it quickly under control. You had me worried there for a moment," he admitted.

"I'm tired, understandably sore, but surprisingly not too bad. They gave me the transfusions of your blood, didn't they?" she grinned.

"Yes, and you are by no means in any condition for that right now!" he winked.

"Don't worry, I'm not. Just teasing. Unfortunately, it's going to be a few weeks for me to be ready for sex, although it might be less with the help of your blood. Did I have any, well, injuries down there?" she pointed between her legs.

"Despite my unconventional interventions to get this little one out of you, you surprisingly only had a small laceration. An easy repair was made, and Dr. McCoy reports that you should have no long term issues," he explained. "Although she was so big for your body, really she's still so tiny," he noted as the baby grasped onto his index finger with her tiny hand. "But she's so strong. She's like you."

"I certainly don't feel very strong right now," Catherine sighed weakly. "I'm looking forward, though, to getting my body put back together. Once I am well enough, will you please train me in getting myself back into Starfleet shape?"

"Of course," he nodded before looking quietly back down at their daughter. "I never thought that I could ever love anyone as much as I love you. I did not think that I would be able, but I was wrong, Imzadi. My heart is overflowing with love right now for both of you," he choked out while trying to hold back his tears. "Would you like to hold her?"

"Yes, please. What do her eyes look like?"

"Actually, she's always had them closed when I've held her. I'm not sure," he shrugged his shoulders.

"Oh look, she's waking up," Catherine noted as he tilted her so that they could both look at her eyes. "Wow, that's different."

"She has both of our eyes," John gaped. Like Catherine, she had dark eyes, but she was not completely aniridic in that a thin, blue ring surrounded the large dark orbs. "Interesting. I am curious to see what abilities she will inherit from us."

"What is her name, John? What are we to call her?" Catherine asked as he gently handed their newborn daughter to her.

"She is to be called Priya Kaur Singh Harrison. Her names are Hindi and Punjabi. Priya means 'beloved' and Kaur means 'princess'."

"Beloved princess," Catherine softly rocked her in her arms.

"I may not be the mighty Khan any longer, but she is still my princess. Oh Catherine, you are both so beautiful. I am so happy," he beamed as a tear escaped his eye and Priya began to fuss.

"Oh, Priya, little one. I think she's hungry," Catherine looked up and beamed at John.

"Can I help you?"

"Of course," she nodded as he carefully pulled her hospital gown down to expose her breast. After Catherine successfully got Priya to suckle and start drinking, John gently stroked the dark wisps of hair covering her tiny head. "She is definitely your daughter."

"Why is that?" he chuckled quietly and arched his brow.

"Only a superior half-Augment newborn would have no issues latching on for the first time with little difficulty," she slightly teased. "Really, though, from our classes I was expecting a hard time getting her to breastfeed at first."

"Well, it looks like the two of you are going to do just fine."

"Khan, I love you," she gasped out suddenly and placed her hand over his still resting on Priya's head.

"I love you, too. I love you both with all my heart."

"Happy birthday, princess. What is the date?"

"It is the 28th of August. I will remember and treasure this date as one of the happiest days of my life."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be the end of this story... But it is not the end of Khan and Catherine!


End file.
